Exploring the Depths of Personal Transformation

I remember once sitting in a seminary class in which we were invited to consider and discuss the primary mission of the Church. Was it to reach the lost? To disciple believers? To serve the "least of these"? To be united with Christ? To be a sacrament in the world?

A similar question was posited regarding ministers leading the church. Is their primary calling to preach the gospel? To grow the church? To teach and baptize new believers? To offer attractive programs? To create outreach opportunities? To lead board meetings? To inspire and equip? To spend time with God? To make sure the kids are behaving

As I considered all these possibilities with the soon-to-be, newly called, and longtime ministers in that room, a new awareness filled me: If we weren’t careful, we would become consumed by the many responsibilities demanding our attention. As ministers of the gospel, if we do not first deal with ourselves, establish healthy patterns, and practice the presence of God daily, chances are that even our best efforts could fail amid the complexities of a hectic life.

The Calling and the Called

Truthfully, the primary calling of any Christian is to be conformed to the image of God’s Son by the power of the Holy Spirit, who alone can transform our hearts. This process is known as spiritual formation. The late Henri Nouwen, in his book Spiritual Formation: Following the Movements of the Spirit 1 , defined spiritual formation as “movements from the mind to the heart through prayer in its many forms that reunite us with God, each other, and our truest selves.”

Nouwen noted that living out the spiritual life requires a movement from acquiring information (mind) to attaining transformation (heart). Such a movement can happen only as we practice the presence of God, which includes loving God with our whole being and loving others (such as the stranger, the angry relative, the panic-stricken girl, the defiant teen) as ourselves. Simple as it may seem, this exercise primarily requires the minister of the gospel to become aware of the need to experience the reality of God’s presence firsthand. Sadly, many pastors try to lead

their congregations into realities they are not experiencing themselves, and consequently, they burn out easily or give up their calling.

A spirituality that hides in a cocoon seeking to protect itself from all possible perils will likely wither and die in the valley of self-preservation. On the other hand, a spirituality marked by the excessive care of people, perfectionistic tendencies, or exaggerated activism will, sooner or later, crumble and collapse on the mountain of self-reliance. Only by cultivating dependence on the Father and embracing an attitude of interdependence will we swim freely in the currents of God’s love.

Deep Calls unto Deep

Theologian W.H. Vanstone likened the Church to a swimming pool in which all the noise comes from the shallow end, but most of the treasures are found in the deep end 2 . If we are to love like Jesus and live like Jesus, then we need the love of Jesus to sustain us, and the deeper we submerge ourselves in the waters of His Spirit, the richer we find His love to be. Jesus loved His disciples so deeply that even though He knew they would soon desert Him, betray Him, deny Him, and abandon Him, He still chose to serve them.

What was His secret? Perhaps Jesus was able to love these rugged, simple-hearted, unsophisticated disciples despite their shortcomings because He had banked His faith on the Father’s love. His security and identity were anchored in the reality of the Father’s love for Him, and as a result, He could extend it freely to others. When the hour had come for Jesus to journey back to His Father, He displayed His deepest sense of love for His disciples in humble, ordinary ways. As Jesus got up from the Passover meal, He took off His outer robe, wrapped a towel around His waist, and washed the dustcovered, filthy feet of His disciples. Jesus’ example shows us three steps we all must take in order to be transformed spiritually.

First, we must nurture a deliberate disposition in our hearts to love well, breaking away from the mundane tasks that demand most of our time and distract us from our primary calling as partners in the mission of God. Jesus showed the importance

of this first step when He “got up from the meal” to serve His disciples (John 13:4). He left His place of leadership at the table to participate in an act of service, pouring water into a basin after He had eaten a meal with His disciples. Similarly, we must make time to care for our souls in ways that are life-giving, both individually and communally while fostering an attitude of readiness for service. Second, we must embrace a radical posture of dispossession. When Jesus “took off his outer clothing” (John 13:4), I believe He was demonstrating the necessity of choosing to be stripped of His position, to be real, and to shy away from a performanceoriented, pride-enabling, and power-ridden type of ministry. This intentional and profound uncovering invites us to develop a resilient heart that is able to withstand the blows of familiar temptations. In the midst of twists and turns, opportunities for selfadvancement, or life’s many unexpected hurts, by taking the less-traveled road of vulnerability, openness, honesty, and confession, ministers will be able to lead their congregations into the power of authenticity. Finally, we must faithfully engage in a lifestyle of dispensation. Just as Jesus “began to wash his disciples’ feet, drying them with the towel that was wrapped around him” (John 13:5), so we must participate in tangible demonstrations of God’s love for the broken and the lost. The graces and gifts we have received are to be carefully unwrapped, so we may dry the tears of those who mourn and celebrate with those who rejoice. As we gracefully put to use the spiritual and material gifts we have received, others may come “to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ” for us (Eph. 3:18). Our own journey into the depths of God’s love will provide the catalyst needed for spiritual transformation. This experience of deep spiritual healing and transformation lived and demonstrated by Christian leaders is what our churches and the world need the most today.

Henri Nouwen, Spiritual Formation: Following the Movements of the Spirit (New York: Harper Collins Publishers, 2010), xvi.

Trevor Beeson, ed., Priests and Prelates: The Daily Telegraph Clerical Obituaries (London: Continuum, 2002), pp. 214–16.

SIMONE MULIERI TWIBELL serves as assistant professor of intercultural studies at Olivet Nazarene University and as prayer pastor at Kankakee, Illinois, First Church of the Nazarene.

AND THE DEEPER WE SUBMERGE OURSELVES IN THE WATERS OF HIS SPIRIT, THE RICHER WE FIND HIS LOVE TO BE.