Poem: An Unsent Letter to You.

An unsent letter to you.

These are the things that are yours, eidetic and vibrant when you show up in my mind.

But now, they might be the only things I have to remember you by.

I don’t want to with you. I don’t want to like you in a way that causes me to vibrate and swoon.

But you’ll never know.

You’ll never know because I have never been able to lead with you. I

wasn’t given the space to make a decision until I didn’t know what I wanted.

There’s no signs on what I should do. no books, no stars that twinkle extra bright.

In a perfect world, we’d listen to music, be together, and that’d be nice.

We’d be the middlemen, held in the sweet balance of life, pulled in no direction and come together when we needed to.

I guess I am just saying I’m sorry.

I know I don’t have to.

I ACTUALLY DON’T WANT TO.

I don't want my apologies to negate what has been done but I want you to understand what I am doing.

I am leaving and these are my last words to you, as embarrassing as they can be.

So I’m sorry I am not brave enough to let you touch me.

Sorry I don’t want to stick through with this.

Sorry I am pushing you away.