Know the Signs

This month we acknowledge those impacted by domestic violence and breast cancer. You can be healed from both, and they can also be deadly. Many times, people do not know how they can prevent, detect, and seek treatment when in harm’s way or a diagnosis is made. Knowing the signs can help those around us live and thrive after experiencing what can be traumatic experiences. Beyond words we must be proactive in preventing and protecting ourselves from harm.

Some of the signs of abuse in a relationship of any kind is the need for the abuser to have power and control. This can sometimes be through verbal abuse by demeaning, shaming and belittling words towards the other individual or family member. It can be subtle like telling someone that they are stupid or never do anything right or overt name calling especially in front of others. Sometimes the signs are not allowing the person to visit family, giving them dirty looks, hindering access to family finances, pressure to use alcohol, drugs or have sex, and having bouts of extreme jealousy. It can escalate to threats with weapons, threats towards others you care about and beatings. These are signs that the relationship is not healthy and maybe it is time to seek help.

Facing and detecting breast cancer can be done with yearly mammograms and breast selfexamination. It is important to know your family history because you may need to screen earlier than what is recommended.

Communication with family and your health care provider is important. Many times, we do not know others have serious illnesses until it is too late. Some of the signs to look for are any change in the size or the shape of the breast, pain in any area of the breast, nipple discharge other than breast milk (including blood) or a new lump in the breast. Family history, getting older, breast density, and having previous radiation therapy can be risk factors. Risk factors you can control are decreasing alcohol use, exercise, healthy eating, and obesity at an older age.

While domestic, intimate partner and family violence is not new there are ways we can help those in harm’s way by supporting and educating them as they seek to break free from the abuse and get the help they desire. Learning not to judge those in abusive relationships but being there, when possible, can make a difference in their healing journey. Educating those in our circle about breast cancer and what we can do to prevent it is the best support we can give. If someone you know is going through that diagnosis and healing journey, encourage them as well. Both issues are troubling and can be very stressful for the individual and their family and friends. Be there for those in need and make their journey a little more bearable. Offer a safe space to hear their concerns, provide transportation, or refer them to a counselor. You may be the only hope or help someone has as they take the path to overcome their pain and health challenges.

Sources https://www.thehotline.org/identifyabuse/domestic-abuse-warning-signs/ https://www.cdc.gov/cancer/ dcpc/resources/features/ breastcancerawareness/index.htm

Dr. Carla Debnam, Founder, Renaissance Christian Counseling Center

GEORGETracey