GUM #1 by Grand Union

#1 CONTENTS

––– #04

NEWS & EVENTS

#08 PEOPLE

#15 INDUSTRY

#29 CULTURE

#43 CURIOSITIES

#1 CONTENTS

––– #04

NEWS & EVENTS

#08 PEOPLE

#15 INDUSTRY

#29 CULTURE

#43 CURIOSITIES

––– Editors Steve Parker and Nick Parnell

Editorial Team Features – James Armstrong Industry – Will Railton People – Susie Erskine News and Events – Rowan Rosser Curiosities – Clare Kneeshaw Culture – Pete Munro

Creative/Production Creative Director – Stuart Hallybone Art Directors– Jade Bisram & Sophie Lavender Illustration – Jason Ruddy

Contributors The passionate, proud and talented staff of

Profile ––– Peter Stitson Our inaugural front cover is designed by Peter Stitson, the Art director, layout king and general magazine guru. He arrived at our offices a week ago and was tasked with designing the whole GUM magazine in less than 5 days. He has extensive experience of working in the magazine industry for over 15 years. He was the art director for the contemporary lifestyle magazine Dazed and Confused for 5 year as well working He has worked with a variety of clients including Levis, Nike, Penguin Books, Edwin, Canon, Rankin, Oxfam and Iceberg. Just by taking a glance at Peter’s blog you see can his interests and talents are varied, including font design, illustration, screen printing and Japanese cookery to name a few. He has recently shown one of his designs at ‘A little piece of mind’, an exhibition in which the brief was to submit a design to be used in a digital quilt. To add to his catalogue of projects he has also designed the cover for the first single from the band Death Metal Disco Scene which is due to be released this month. He has also submitted work to the Secret Blisters show (see summer art events) taking place this weekend where you can buy an original Peter Stitson print for a measly £35! All of us at GUM want to say a HUGE thank you to Peter for helping as realise the GUM vision! peterstitson.blogspot.com www.peterstitson.com By Jade Bisram

Grand Union Moray House 23-31 Great Titchfield Street London W1W 7PA t: +44(0)20 7908 0700 f: +44(0)20 7908 0701 info@thegrandunion.com www.thegrandunion.com

––– Editors Steve Parker and Nick Parnell

Editorial Team Features – James Armstrong Industry – Will Railton People – Susie Erskine News and Events – Rowan Rosser Curiosities – Clare Kneeshaw Culture – Pete Munro

Creative/Production Creative Director – Stuart Hallybone Art Directors– Jade Bisram & Sophie Lavender Illustration – Jason Ruddy

Contributors The passionate, proud and talented staff of

Grand Union Moray House 23-31 Great Titchfield Street London W1W 7PA t: +44(0)20 7908 0700 f: +44(0)20 7908 0701 info@thegrandunion.com www.thegrandunion.com

NEWS AND EVENTS

OBREGADO ––– CRISTIANO loss of more than 1 player to the players still there, and this is where they may struggle to adapt to his departure. You just don’t get players who can do all that. And who are athletic, brave, lightning quick and a scorer of outrageous free kicks to match. This is why he is the best player in the world, because he is the complete package and his impact on games and worth to his team is so huge. His excellence was at times so all encompassing that he lifted himself into that small band of global sports geniuses who transcend their sport while simultaneously appearing to drive it forward in new and exciting ways into places it hasn’t been before. Federer, Woods, Jordan, Cruyff - have all done it and, at times over the past 3 years, Ronaldo has been in their company. The test that awaits him now is one of consistency and improvement. Can he replicate and build on his form in a new league, for a weaker team with a circus tailing him day and night, where football may not be the priority anymore and where he’ll be very much on his own. Can he win World Cups, can he keep the same drive going for the next 5 years. If he can, he’ll be truly and undisputedly great, but it’s quite a challenge. Which leaves Manchester United with a big hole to fill, both in playing terms and world class reputation. A team wihout Ronaldo in no longer carries the same aura and this is something they’ve been especially strong at in recent years, of creating the impression of invincibility. Their defence won them the title this year, but that is unlikely to be enough again next year. If you’re not moving forward you’re going backwards, and Ferguson has another mighty challenge on his hands to rebuild and shape for life after Cristiano. Rightly, the players and management will all insist that football is a team game, and no one player is ever worth more than the team, but the fact remains that replacing Ronaldo is not only nigh on imposible but will be psychologically key to the future of this superb United team. Others need to step up and step in, grasp the greatness that Ronaldo did, and no doubt Ferguson has been planning this move in detail privately and will manage the process as brilliantly as ever. His 1st task is finding a player from within or further afield to take on the No 7 short vacated by the Portugese World Player of the Year, the same shirt that he himself was reluctant to wear such is its heritage and significance within Old Trafford. But Ferguson has been here before and will be again if he has stomach to carry on much longer. For now, it is enought to note that the Premiership and Old Trafford will both be poorer places without Ronaldo, and we should appreciate his footballing greatness, and not waste our time worrying about anything else. By Rowan Rosser

So Cristiano Ronaldo has, finally, played his last game for Manchester United, and we can all get on with our summers. Interestingly, the feelings towards his departure around Old Trafford seem to be ones of general indifference, diluted only slightly by a sense of wistful nostalgia. This less then hysterical response at the loss of the world’s finest player, to the ‘mob’ in the Bernebau no less, is no doubt caused in part by the silly transfer fee coming the other way, the kind of tantrums and showmanship that Ronaldo tempered but never erased from his game and the faith in Sir Alex and his alchemic team building and dismantling skills. So the muted response is to be expected to a degree, mixed as it has been with the smooth gloss of positive PR that Manchester United PLC have applied to his departure. Great players don’t become greater once Sir Alex sells them; and despite it being an internally crafted adage probably drafted by the wily old Scot to keep players he does want to, it is usually true that the only direction for a player’s career to go in once they leave Old Trafford is down. But delve a little deeper into the form and impact of the player on the pitch, while ignoring the histrionics and less appealing aspects of his character, and it is hard not to feel concerned for the team that made him, and contemplate the hole that he will leave. 31 league goals in 34 appearances in the 2007/08 season tell part of the story and go some way to explaining his worth to the team, but it is the way he has scored and made them that will make him impossible to replace. To score so many goals while still operating as a winger is a phenomenal achievement, and it is entirely in keeping with the United tradition of width, pace and teamwork exemplified by great players from Charlton to Robson, Cantona and Giggs. Manchester United are a club that loves to score great team goals, which seems to sit at odds with the image of Ronaldo as the egotistical showpony, but goes some way to explaining why individualist players with scoring records as good as Ruud Van Nistelroy will never truly sit among the Old Trafford greats. Ronaldo is precisely the type of player that the club are known for producing and nurturing, scoring great goals and running at serious pace from wide in a style as thrilling as it is rare in the modern game. His loss will be felt throughout the team, and in a larger sense than just his outstanding goalscoring record: his ability to beat men, link play, lead the line, counterattack at breathtaking speed and draw in opposing defences will feel like the

NEWS AND EVENTS

NEWS & EVENTS

IRAN ––– ELECTION

MP’s ––– EXPENSES “It’s not that important, it really isn’t.” tedious, bourgeois obsession about what [MPs] charged for wisteria…I’ve cheated expenses, I’ve fiddled things…” Stephen Fry on MPs expenses

to the downright illegal (flipping second home status to avoid tax), they all represent an abuse of the system; a taking for granted mindset of an elite out of touch with those they represent. In order to regain trust and to get to a position where people up and down the country believe it is worthwhile to partake in democracy, elected representatives must behave with absolute transparency on one hand, and on the other the public must allow them a wage that matches the task of their job. Sixty-six thousand pounds, whilst well above the average wage is significantly below the sums afforded to those people at the top of business. If we are to demand performance, we should also reward it when it is met. Whether that be incentives for attending votes, sitting on committees or running local surgeries – MPs should be remunerated as we all should – by the quality of their work. There is certainly more than a little bourgeois triumphalism in the public humiliation of MPs and their discretion. However, it is also borderline flippant to brush it under the carpet. A measured response means we all have to try a little harder – MPs need to try and not claim for all and sundry that they spend in a week, and we need to understand the pressure and prestige of their job; rewarding them if they do it well, and putting them in the stocks if they don’t. By Steven Parker

Stephen Fry’s comment was well-observed; why are we obsessed and in such outrage about relatively trivial sums of money being spent by Members of Parliament? Surely one could argue we should be more up in arms about the cost of the Iraq war, how much budget is swallowed up each year by the legion of quasi-governmental organisations that abound the nation or the amount of pounds and pence it cost to save Northern Rock from going under. But that would be to miss a point. There needs to be at a fundamental level – trust in the institutions of power and those who pull the levers within them. If we, as the general public don’t believe the institutions work (and in this case the central body of government – the Houses of Parliament) we cannot be expected to partake in wider democracy, whether that be electing a local councillor, listening & contributing to debate or watching a party political broadcast. And if people don’t contribute to a democratic society, the whole thing falls apart. Whilst the claims made by MPs vary from the farcical (25p for a plastic bag), obscene (£2200 for cleaning a moat)

The Iranian Presidential election has seen the clashing of two worlds. Not just with the Islamic old guard headed by Ayatollah Khomeni (represented on Earth by Ahmadinejad) vs. the non-hardline populous and their candidate of choosing Mir Hossein Mousavi – but the channels through which they have been able to garner support and influence debate. The populist uprising, which has seen Iranians spill into the streets in their thousands, got global presence in real time through Twitter, Flickr and other self-publishing tools. It has been said that this is Twitter’s defining moment – an event which has unlocked its ability to show how real time news can spread, grow and impact a global community. However that would do a disservice to Iranians and, in a way, to Twitter. Iran is undergoing a very public identity crisis, one that is born from the heated tensions of generations clashing over their right to lead. Twitter on the other hand is merely the same as it was before Ahmadinejad faced off against Mousavi at the ballot box; a platform that facilitates real time conversations and expression. The fact we’ve been able to see what’s happened, witnessing deaths by camera phone and beatings by text message, is a result of a changing communications world, for which Twitter is its current (deservedly) greatest exponent. By Steven Parker

NEWS & EVENTS

IRAN ––– ELECTION

PEOPLE

GU ––––– CLUBS

GU running club

Windsor Half Marathon

Get fit this summer by taking a lunch away from a HT Harris heart attack inducing toasted ciabatta, put on a seethrough singlet and run at pace around the streets of Noho in search of the perfect beach body. Whether you’re shifting a few pounds for a forthcoming exchange of vows, or simply trying to shed last night’s Dominos and Strongbow mash-up running club welcomes you with open arms.

On 27th September the GU Running Club is taking part in the Windsor half Marathon. Patrick, Jaimes, Anna and Rob all plan to run this great looking course, set within the Windsor Great Park in the grounds of the Castle. Around 5000 runners take part so if you feel like giving it a go then there is still time to enter at www.runwindsor.com GU Football Most Wednesdays a collection of Grand Union’s finest footballing talents (and Will) make their way to Regents Park to knock about a ball of leather and take pot shots at knees. All in the best possible spirit and with know experience required you can join Football Wednesdays by donning your short shots and jogging up Great Titchfield to the rolling fields of Marylebone Road from around 6pm.

BOOK REVIEW The Road by Cormac Mc Carthy

GU BOOK CLUB

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The Road is the story of the journey of a father and son. They exist in a world covered in ash. There is no visible sun or warmth. No food and no vegetation. In fact there is very little of anything that you would be familiar with as the world exists today. We don’t know why but it has all been destroyed. The only thing we know is that this man and his son are “the good guys”. The power of the story rests in the relationship between this father and son. It is all the boy has ever known. Born to a mother who is no longer alive, the father nurtures a belief that “everything will be okay”. The futility of their plight whilst never far from the reader’s thoughts is subsumed by the admiration we feel for this pair as they struggle to overcome every challenging encounter. We are so entirely consumed by our desire for them to survive that it is as if nothing else matters. So beautifully and authentically is this book written that it reminds us how good a book can be over every other art form. This is without doubt the most incredible piece of storytelling I have ever read. It navigates a delicate path between the harshness of their environment, the horror that it conjures and the frailty of human existence. Its core message is that human relationships are what give us hope and strength, reminding us how lucky we are to have the warmth and love of human companionship. Moreover, how easy it is to take for granted the simple things in life such as: free flowing water, a warm meal, laughter, tenderness and the security of a warm bed at night. I loved this book. Its power to unlock emotions you think are buried away is nothing short of remarkable. It is a work of complete genius. I would take it on my desert island and read it every day. It is about hope and the importance that we should never, ever give up no matter how much the odds are stacked against us. By Rob Forshaw

Bookworms hear this and unite. Each month GU Book Club pick a book, read it and then discuss it over wine, cheese and occasionally a picnic in the park. A selection of our books can be found in the GU reception so have a look, and include Cloud Atlas by David Mitchell, White Tiger by Aravind Adiga and The Road by Cormac McCarthy – the review of which you can find in this edition of gum.

Darts We arrive. Some ghoulish fellows have the board. One of them is dying. How long has he been ill? What made him Yellow Bastard? A chap named Bob carves out thick lines on the chalk board. They’re a bit big for this time in the afternoon I think but fuck it, it’s darts. Everyone is well into their second drink by the time the darts come out. What are we playing, who knows? Who cares? It’s darts. I look around at the people I work with. Strangers but I love them. They just want to throw darts. Step up throw, step up throw, step up throw. The rhythm binds us together. Step up throw. We are happy when we are throwing darts. Step up throw. GU Spanish Club Tapas, Sangria, and Spanish Lotharios. Join the GU Spanish club as we attempt to recreate Verity’s future life in Spain.

NEXT MONTH’S BOOK ––––– Norwegian Wood by Haruki Murakami “Vintage Murakami and easily the most erotic of his novels.” - Los Angeles Times Book Review

PEOPLE

GU ––––– CLUBS

GU running club

Windsor Half Marathon

BOOK REVIEW The Road by Cormac Mc Carthy

GU BOOK CLUB

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NEXT MONTH’S BOOK ––––– Norwegian Wood by Haruki Murakami “Vintage Murakami and easily the most erotic of his novels.” - Los Angeles Times Book Review

PEOPLE

Stuart

WAYS TO GET BOB TO DO SOMETHING FOR YOU

EDITING’S SWEET ––––

When four of GU’s finest females were commandeered to star in a banner campaign for Tampax, what ended up on the cutting room floor?

Stu hates James... I’ve hated James for some time now, when you work with someone for twelve years and I mean REALLY work - being his creative partner means we have to do everything together, every day... I hate his clothes, his smell, his boasting after going to see some arthouse film when I know he likes trash, I hate his stupid hair, his ‘Green’ living ethic, his bike. But most of all I hate it when he says ‘It’s not even that...’ in reply to my opinion on something. Hate.

James

Bob The real reasons why Stu hates me: all the best ideas are mine, I’m thinner than him, I have a driving license, I get paid more than him, old people like me, but most of all, he’s jealous of me and has always wanted to be me and that makes him bitter - read his comments and judge for yourself. I think he’s an alright bloke - bit fat, though.

1.. ‘Hi Bob, is it possible to get this online ad as a high res image for Campaign please? What do you mean, “no”?’ 2. ‘Hi Bob, can you do Flash?’ 3. ‘Morning Bob, how are you?... You did go home last night didn’t you?.... Oh’ 4. ‘Ok Bob, we’ll try and get all the copy for the doc to you by midday, so you can leave in time for your holiday.’ 5. ‘Can I borrow your lighter?’ 6. ‘Bob, you’re the last one here, have you got keys?’ 7. ‘Bob, do we have a case study for....?’ 8. ‘What you working on Bob? Have you got time to bobbify this powerpoint slide for me?’ 9. ‘Bob, can you turn the music down, the lady from the flat upstairs is complaining again.’ 10. ‘’Bob, don’t look at me like that, you don’t know what I’m going to ask.’

PEOPLE

Stuart

WAYS TO GET BOB TO DO SOMETHING FOR YOU

EDITING’S SWEET ––––

When four of GU’s finest females were commandeered to star in a banner campaign for Tampax, what ended up on the cutting room floor?

James

PEOPLE

LET’S PLAYS DART

PEOPLE

LET’S PLAYS DART

PEOPLE

INDUSTRY

PARNELL’S TOP 10 RULES FOR SARTORIAL SUCCESS THESE ARE MY TOP TEN RULES TO MAKE SURE EVEN THE MOST SARTORIALLY INEPT CAN DRESS TO IMPRESS. RULES ARE THERE FOR A REASON, BUT THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH BREAKING THEM. THESE STATEMENTS ARE NOT CONTRADICTORY. ONCE YOU UNDERSTAND THE RULES, YOU CAN WORK OUT HOW TO BREAK THEM EFFECTIVELY.

The Duke of Windsor – the epitome of style and elegance

Black tie can be worn in many ways but it must be sleek and crisp whilst accentuating the contrast

Double breasted suits – only for the tall and slim

1. Fit, colour then style - It’s an old saying someone passed on to me years ago – when you’re buying a piece of clothing only buy it if it fits well. Then consider whether the colour suits you, and only then consider whether it is fashionable / stylish / inspiring. 2. Trouser length – Too short and you look like you’re on day release, too long and you look like you are hiding a piece! Your trousers should fall so that there is one clean break at the front, and none at the back. 3. No brown in town - Brown is the colour that a gentleman working in the city wears when he returns home, or on the weekend. During the week he wears black, blue or grey, all in suitably dark tones. Brown is the colour of the country, of tweed and felt hats; of shoes more than anything. 4. Always button the waist button of your jacket. And only that button – To clarify this is usually the middle button on a three-button suit, the top button on a two-button suit and obviously the only button on a one-button suit. The whole structure of the jacket is built off this button and the shape of the shoulders. The lapels curl down to this button; the line of the suit from armhole to skirt is determined by the placement of this button. It is the fulcrum around which everything else revolves. So get this wrong, and you are ruining the beautiful line of what is probably a beautiful suit. 5. Only Slim Jim can go Double Breasted - A double-breasted suit adds breadth to a man because it creates horizontal lines. Rather than going straight down, the lapels run across the body. The buttons, whether there are four or six, create horizontal lines as well. As do the peaked lapels so if you are carrying more weight than is necessarily advised by your GP then stick to the more sliming single breasted jackets. 6. Black Tie, keep it traditional - Tradition is the whole point of Black Tie, it is opposed upon occasions for man’s own good to make him look as smart as possible. The secondary purpose of Black Tie is to create as much contrast between materials and textures giving us the elegant look which Black Tie conjures in the mind, so focus on fit and keep your shirt hidden under a waistcoat and bring attention to your feet with a pair of beautiful ribbon tied black patent Oxfords. 7. Socks – Grey is gone, white is just wrong, so go for a pastel shade which matches your shirt, belt or tie. For the more conservative match your sock to your suit not your shoes. 8. Keep your jacket on – Keep your jacket on, whilst driving, eating, during a meeting, even at the theatre. Whist I appreciate this will take some perseverance, it will flatter your figure, add purpose to your shirt and tie, and most of all give a point to buying the suit in the first place. 9. Wear bright with grey – If you can’t go the whole hog and step outside of the standard but limited suit colour palette of blue and grey (never Black!) Give a bit of life to your suit with a bright tie or pocket square against a crisp white shirt. Grey is the most versatile and kind of colours. So a mid-grey or light-grey suit is the best accompaniment for bright colours. It provides a neutral background for the bright oranges, blues and greens to hammer against. 10. If you only buy one tie, make it navy - The first reason is that a dark tie is more versatile than a pale tie. It is more sober, more business-like and, outside of work, can play the supporting role to more adventurous clothing combinations. Navy goes easily with every colour of shirt (white, pink, blue and others) and most colours of suit. This will give you a very elegant Italian look, change to a navy and cream club tie for a look from closer to home. By Nick Parnell

––– LONDON Who: About 200 professionals across the full in-house, consultancy, agency spectrum – and the entire User Experience Department of Grand Union at some time or the other. What: UX London was the first conference ever in London to focus on User Experience -- more on that later. When: June 15-17 2009 Where: Cumberland Hotel (near Marble Arch) Why: London has a surprisingly large and vibrant community of people working on or in user experience. Fundamentally, they design how you use and experience mobile phones. advertising, internet banking, shop for retail goods, interactive museum exhibits, find internal information on intranets, etc. This community has historically been either subsumed by the huge American software industry or the creative industry in the UK, but there has not been a single-point of focus for discussion, sharing and learning.

• Scent of information “Studies show that users can be equally happy with content that is 20 clicks away, provided they think they are getting closer. Don’t quote that 3 click rule” • Sketch first pixels later Speakers: The organisers brought in some of the leading speakers in the field (Don Norman, Luke Wroblewski, Peter Merholtz, Jared Spool). Interestingly, as one person noted they were either Americans, no matter how expat (11) or Aussie Women (3) – but no Brits. There was much speculation as to whether this was evidence of national traits --willingness to be mouthy, opinionated and self-promoting or predominance of leading ideas coming from the States with it’s HUGE software industry. All four of us came back with things that we will stealthily or not-so stealthily use in our projects. If you’d like to know more about the conference, its speakers and their ideas feel free to come up and chat to me or a member of my team. By Robert M. Fein

Key themes: • Embrace complexity Abhor complication. Humans excel and even enjoy the complex, as long as it’s not communicated in a complicated fashion • Be creative “You could look at what your competitors are doing. That way you can always be one step behind them” • Understand context (of use) “nobody goes to a website without a purpose. except web designers” • The core design idea Have one, but do not be afraid to change it if the evidence indicates

Definitions: User Experience (UX or UXP): Is the quality of experience a person has when interacting with a specific design. This can range from a specific digital artefact, such as a website, or even a physical one, such as a game console, up to larger, integrated experiences such as a museum or an airport.

PEOPLE

INDUSTRY

The Duke of Windsor – the epitome of style and elegance

Black tie can be worn in many ways but it must be sleek and crisp whilst accentuating the contrast

Double breasted suits – only for the tall and slim

INDUSTRY

THINGS WORK BETTER

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TOGETHER where we know that old conventions and protocols are being cast aside in favour of new ways of working. However, one of the issues that comes from agility, change and adaptability is a potential for a lack of integration or joined-upness. At GU we provide a wide range of services from e-Commerce to content production and from conventional advertising through to social media. One of the risks is that when working across such a wide range of disciplines is that things do not always join up. At GU we look to provide services that are joined up. We do this by planning collaboratively as a team, with our client partners and with our consumers as they are as important to the distribution of information today as the print presses were in the 19th Century.

Never before has the potential for us to come together been greater than it is today. Technology has played its part in bringing together groups united by common interests. We are no longer simply what we own but what it is that we share. We share pictures, ideas, thoughts and reviews. These contributions when combined together are creating a new information ecosystem. These contributions are being channelled and streamed through multiple, wireless devices providing a real-time perspective on the world in which we live. This super-real, super-rich experience helps shape our views and attitudes towards everything from the products and services that we provide through to the places we visit and music we listen to. We only need to look to recent events in Iran to see how strong that voice can be. Not only is the world in which we live changing fast but our observations about it are changing with equal pace. We are literally watching history in the making. This is something that was not lost on the Obama team in their campaign where much of the pace of news was fuelled by an energetic fan-base. At Grand Union we believe that good comes from collaboration. The sharing and exchange of information improves speed to market. It also helps to improve the quality of the response. We are a mixed-discipline team who feed off the energy of each other. We realise that we are better together. No matter how complex the problem we know that the diversity of perspectives is likely to result in the freshest solution. One of the consequences of a media rich world is that the linearity of the supply chain is losing to the speed and quality of the collaborators. This is evidenced in news, in popular culture and also in the development of applications. The vertical, hierarchical structures that developed processes where one department passed an idea to another and so on and so on is obsolete. The collaborators work faster and smarter. Rather than using the restrictions of a vertical approval process we and others are looking to work together in a real-time, agile fashion. For some this represents some form or anarchy. At Grand Union we believe it results in better answers. The demands of new markets which flux at lightening speed mean that this is a new reality. We are not claiming to be revolutionary; merely working in an environment

So what are we doing? Well on clients like Boots, Coca-Cola, Waitrose and Best Buy we are practising what we preach. For example on Waitrose, we are currently developing a new e-Commerce platform for the brand that will help to transform their online presence and performance. At the same time we are helping to ensure that all consumer touch points are being managed through the use of targeted search activity, online PR, specialist content in the form a web series and social media activity and amplification. By measuring, monitoring and adapting this activity 24/7 we are helping to ensure that Waitrose provide a service to their customers which is in-tune with the pace of their customers lives. They expect the brand to be responsive and to be joined-up and this is what we are helping to do. Have we got there yet? Well no. The world keeps spinning and we need to keep pace. That is why we have devoted part of our time to our own projects, creating ideas like Tweet 250 that measures the world’s most tweeted brands. Throughout history humans have collaborated for survival. Today it is no longer about survival however we have still not lost that instinct to contribute to the greater good. The Internet is undoubtedly at its heart a tool that brings out the best in people. The collaborative voice polices, cajoles and encourages like any community. So next time you’re sat wondering how you’re going to solve a problem, call a bunch of people together either online or physically and share it. Watch it disappear as the power of collectivism seeks to champion a new idea and a new solution. By Rob Forshaw

“This campaign can’t only be about me... It must be about what we can do together.” Barack Obama quote from his February 10, 2007 Presidential announcement. 17

INDUSTRY

THINGS WORK BETTER

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“This campaign can’t only be about me... It must be about what we can do together.” Barack Obama quote from his February 10, 2007 Presidential announcement. 17

INDUSTRY

ONLINE ––– DATING

If social networks be the food of love, tweet on. Have social networks changed the face of dating? Before Twitter and Facebook, before text and even before Spuggy got her pager nicked in Byker Grove, Sunday nights were spent nervously waiting by the phone for “the call”. Wait, wait, pace, wait, pick up the phone, check the line works and wait a bit more for the boy you met at the un-identified under-age night out involving a Hooch, a pull, and your dad picking you up at the end of the night, to call. And then the phone rings. An invitation to go ice skating at Guilford Spectrum the next Saturday was accepted and so began the stroll into the sun-set of teenage relationship bliss. The rules of engagement have changed. I should caveat here that I’m looking at this through rose tinted ray bans and while I’m sure that Guilford Spectrum is still doing a rip - roaring trade in skate hire, and post skating slush puppies (raspberry to make your lips go red, obviously) how you get the girl to the rink and onto the ice seems to have changed. So let’s start off with dating; there is no doubt that social networks have simplified things. It is easier and less threatening to engage in the first instance after you’ve met that special guy / gal and get to first date; follow them, mail them, poke them – you can dip your toe into the dating pool, test the water, before you dive in. I have had countless friends who have started off lovely, long term relationships in this way – after all, it’s all about the person, not the way you get invited on the first date isn’t it? Or is it? Is it a weak bloke who can’t muster the courage to call you, or worse, a lazy one? Are we only worthy of a facebook message? Am I just being high maintenance? Looking at things sceptically, the cushion that social networks provide can set false expectations. It’s easy to come across as; wittier, cleverer, sexier, lovelier on im or through a fb message than it is in reality. You can think you’re going on a date with someone with the wit of Stephen Fry and the willy of Captain Jack Sparrow. The reality is a cross between; Ken Barlow and Frank Butcher (RIP Frank). There is also the threat of misinterpretation; tone, style and innuendo don’t always translate digitally. One friend’s “I’m not really up for getting into anything serious right now” was misinterpreted as “I’m really up for regular casual sex” and he began bombarding her with photos of his hairy torso and unbuttoned chinos. But, let’s take the optimistic path into the world of relationships. It’s 3 months on; “Vicky is no longer listed as single”. How have social networks changed the face of

relationships? Everything seems to be a lot more public now; couples compete to show greater adoration for each other on their Facebook wall’s and post Thailand 1, Thailand 2 and More Thailand photos. A recent study by a Harvard Professor of Sociology commented that the fragmentation of society is forcing us to affirm our existence by updating the world on our every movement. Does this apply to relationships too, or are we just gloating? Vicky is loving the flowers which have just appeared on her desk, Vicky is so excited at her surprise trip to Paris, Vicky is loving the world this morning (read; got lucky) and so it continues. Publicly gloating about your relationship when times are good can rapidly become a public embarrassment when things start to go wrong. Anyone who has had to go through the “….. is no longer listed as in a relationship” for their 745 friends to witness will empathise with this. Another friend recently found out her boyfriend had been cheating on her. She hacked into his Facebook account and updated his status to “… is a lying t*sser with a small d*ck. Girls beware!” and promptly changed his log in details. A clear breach of privacy and mortifying for him, but frankly, comedy and no different to keying it into the front of his car. And what about the post break up strategy? It’s normal to try and prove that you’re better off without him by spending a bit of time moping, crash dieting and new wardrob-ing. But historically this has taken a bit of time and a lot of planning. Now you can do it instantly; tweeting crazy shenanigans and posting carefully posed photos. Full campaigns are mounted, friends write you cryptic messages, you support this with innuendo filled ones which are just beyond his grasp – this is connected dating solutions working at its optimum. So is it easier, harder, better, worse now than it was? It’s certainly less intimidating to kick things off, more open to misinterpretation and more public both in glory and in defeat. I certainly think it’s diminished the romance; are virtual flowers or a cuddly toy ever ok? But it seems that these are minor tweaks to the merry little dating dance we all know and love. Breaking the ice is a nerve racking business, however you do it and needing to highlight that you’re better than him / off without him / being single, after a break up is human nature not a technological revolution. We’re still making the raspberry slush puppy, just using different ingredients. By Vicky Clarfelt

INDUSTRY

ONLINE ––– DATING

INDUSTRY

ONLINE ––– DATING

Facebook has made dating a quicker process and not necessarily a better one.

sex? Social networking sites be one step towards online dating without actually admitting that you are an online dater. Facebook can certainly get your face and body exposed to more singletons and the ‘waiting for the call’ can be replaced with the waiting for the poke back or waiting for the message on the wall. Social networking has a lot to offer anyone seeking a place in a community, an affirmation of being, a place to interact with controlled variables and an edited down social curriculum vitae. There are some guys from my old school who I am convinced use Facebook as proof of their success when everyone used to think they were a loser. Cynicism aside, we can all benefit from sharing experiences and keep in contact with more people, where that fits in with dating and relationships is fairly positive. Lastly, having a post break up strategy on Facebook, which Vix alludes to, sounds kind of strange. In a break up, I would communicate less with the outside world, surely looking at photos of your ex is a bad thing and even worse is making any efforts to show you are better off without her/him. However, I too, have seen it used in this way. It can even be a bit scary. A friend of mine, changed her status to single when she broke up with her boyfriend, and two guys she hadn’t seen for ages started messaging her almost immediately. She swiftly changed her status back to put them off. God knows what her ex thought about this and the ability to simply log in to make a stalker of yourself is all a bit sad. If people are waiting for a girl with the right ‘status’ and profile pic before they ask them out I am logging off right now. I’ll call you in a few days, let’s go for a drink, maybe a raspberry slush puppy. By will Railton

I can’t remember the last time I used Facebook to ‘connect’ with someone. Facebook is being used as a tool to lazily create events and check up on people who you don’t really see anymore but it isn’t that effective for these two uses either. Sometimes I find myself logging in to check out that girl I met on a Saturday night. I suppose social networking means different things to different people but it hardly replaces the usual meet a girl, swap numbers and go from there, scenario. However, maybe it can solve a lot of dating issues and obstacles. I agree Facebook can be used for the non threatening cheeky message to someone, the quick or rather slow scan of their photos. It definitely helps you make your mind up but the great thing about the old days without mobile phones, twitter and the rest, is if you really wanted to connect with someone, you made a bigger effort. Although with social networking your reach is further, you find yourself going for endless drinks with people, you communicate with more people and so you meet more. Sometimes I feel that all of this is wasted as you end of up thinking that girl you have known for years is actually alright compared to the freak from New year’s, the Spanish girl from a holiday or the friend of a friend of a friend who you only seem to communicate with through Facebook and then night’s out. Social networking will never replace the real deal, like the newspaper, although we may be less willing to pay, will never be replaced completely by online news. I guess what I am trying to say is social networking is limited in providing a dating solution and happily hasn’t changed my dating world too much. On the other hand, how much do you tailor your profile page to be attractive to the opposite

INDUSTRY

ONLINE ––– DATING

Facebook has made dating a quicker process and not necessarily a better one.

INDUSTRY

DON’T CREATE

AGGREGATE

AGGREGATE EXISTING CONTENT. When you are a digital creative agency, the tendency is to recommend that Clients ‘make stuff’. Whether that ‘stuff’ be websites, videos or banners, there is the belief (born out by a mix of business models and vanity) that each project needs a tailor made content solution. Something you can own, point at and say “we made that”. In a lot of cases this is of course the correct strategy – need an online store, you’re going to need your own e-Commerce platform (regardless of how many partnership deals you can muster to help with the sell). Likewise if you are running a DR campaign, affiliate banner activity is a prudent if predictable activity to execute. These two examples are bottom line based approaches – we need to sell and make cash vs. we want people to know who we are and what we stand for. The common place request for the “who we are/what we stand for” requirement is microsite + content. Microsites are commonly solutions given to Agencies by Clients – with information on the brand or the product

range mandatory – and anything else given significantly less importance despite having considerably more scope to make people feel and think differently about the brand itself. The web is awash with campaign sites that were built in bright brand colours to fulfil discreet campaign objectives. Simon Veekner of the recently retired blog Scamp labelled them “Digital Ghostowns”. No one knows where they are and few people outside of the team that made it have ever visited them. Therein lies one of the contradictions of the web – instant and global access to create, yet immense difficulty to cut through content to reach a broad audience. Almost the exact opposite model to TV. It is in this apparent contradiction that brands can add genuine value – without having to create reams of bespoke content and develop a new website for it all be nicely displayed, formatted and tracked.

There are stacks and stacks of articles, videos, links, pictures and games on the web. They come from a wide range of authors with differences in tone, agenda and quality. The average internet user will come across a very, very small percentage of these – the web is just too vast for us to see everything. What brands could do with their budgets is source, aggregate and distribute existing and relevant content. For example, if you’re trying to get in to music (isn’t everyone) don’t create a brand new property that your brand can sit above – its been done time and time again. Instead, mine MySpace for the best unsigned acts and put on a gig showcasing the best talent you found. Whilst technically still a property, energy is spent using existing talent/content vs. building something from scratch. Similarly if you’re running a campaign around a theme, “Happiness” for instance, you could source all the content that best exemplifies this thought online and promote from a single location. You could argue that this is a “microsite”, but its not in the traditional sense of the word – a static, designed, content-lite series of web pages – instead it’s a portal of feeds constantly evolving and updating itself – retaining relevance to people who visit and allowing a brand to continue to have an online presence that moulds itself to the present time. We all watch YouTube videos – there are millions of them on all sorts of subjects, we don’t have time to sit through them all. What people would value is a list/roll of interesting titbits that they wouldn’t otherwise see. If this all based around a brand theme, the direct correlation between the brand and the content is clear. Great online experiences are driven by creativity and utility. Brands can add a huge amount of the former through a relatively small investment. It would be foolish to rule out providing creative solutions and generating your own content – but this route should be the lead of any project rather than purely driven from the need to generate content for a microsite. If a digital solution is what is needed with relatively low levels of budget start with providing utility rather than under-delivering on creativity. By Steve Parker

INDUSTRY

DON’T CREATE

AGGREGATE

INDUSTRY

Evolution isn’t mandatory ––– You don’t have to survive THE MEDIA LANDSCAPE IS CHANGING AND WE ARE ADOPTING NEW TECHNOLOGY FASTER THAN EVER BEFORE SO I ASK, AS A DIGITAL COMMUNICATIONS AGENCY, ARE WE ARE IN A POSITION TO PREDICT THE NEXT BIG THING OR ARE WE FALLING BEHIND? We all know too well that the internet has become the carrier of all other media and created the co-ordination of many amateur producers on a large scale. In the past bundling a message and sending it to everyone seemed to work but with a cheaper, ubiquitous and social form of sending messages to the consumer you have to ask how TV ads are still alive. However, if we are all agreed that the audience wants to talk back rather than be a passive receiver, why are we not using this fully? Clients are still asking us to censor forums that we build, filter UGC and sometimes think about an interactive element to a campaign as if it’s an add-on. It is like some digital agencies have been born out of above the line agencies to fit the media landscape rather than born out of a form of communication that is entirely different than any other form of communication ever before. With the rate of change how do Clients keep up and do they even know how to? Indeed you only need to look at a history textbook to work out that it took us half a century to adopt the telephone, decades to adopt the television, years to adopt mobiles. When will it be that we adopt technologies in hours, minutes, seconds? The next big thing from augmented reality to Twitter has been and gone before marketers can get their hands on it. People have adopted it and made it their own. Advertising is behind on making its presence felt on this new wave of interactive mass communication. Can we build an agency whose role is to no longer craft single messages but create environments for convening and supporting groups?

The industry as a whole is all still working out how to monetize this new world, which is not that easy when it has been working to an unchanged formula for so many years. Many are still turning a blind eye and readdressing the importance of one word equity and single messaging. Brand messaging that is so top of mind that you know straight away when you are being talked to by them; you know exactly what they stand for and what you get by buying into them. As a digital agency should we be saying why spend money on trying to own a word when the meaning behind it can be taken on by consumers and passed around before the idea is even briefed in to the Client. When the world has rid itself of banners and MPUs how exactly do digital agencies survive? What exactly are we? Well we can relax for two reasons. One is that we are the early adopters, we should sit in that minority where new technology is our selling tool, we can adapt rapidly and we are flexible. Secondly, knowing what business you’re in, like cinemas selling experience not films and Kodak selling memories not pictures, is often achieved through asking how your business sits in the eyes of the consumer. Do we need to ask ourselves how we sit in the eyes of the Client because although we don’t need to predict the next big thing we need to fit within it? Gordon Brown said this weekend that bankers won’t change the way they operate but I am glad to say advertising has never had that luxury. By working to the premise of “Things work better together” and delivering “connected digital solutions” we are able to position ourselves as an agency of change. We are not reliant on single forms of digital media to lead to our success or predicate our failure. Any agency that is resolutely “advertising”, “e-Commerce” or even “social media” is tightening a straight jacket round their limbs. Thankfully we’re avoiding that issue. By Will Railton

INDUSTRY

DO MORE ––– STOP MEETING Meetings have become a pandemic. It seems that the world of business has become dominated by a succession of largely irrelevant meetings. There are a number of reasons for this. It could be that by buying into a meeting, we are creating the illusion that we are actually doing something. If you are busy then surely you are adding value? Right? The truth is that, in my experience, most meetings limit productivity for two reasons. The direct reason is that if you are “meeting”, then you are not “doing”. The indirect reason is that the meeting can affect an individual’s attitude towards a project. Instead of leaving the meeting wanting to do the Gillette air-punch we instead feel deflated, disengaged and disenfranchised. Is this the secret truth? We all abhor meetings? Is the elephant in the room the actual meeting itself in every situation? After all meetings are what stop us from doing real work, keeping us late and reducing our productivity.

a blindfold on than run a project without a clearly defined concept. (Btw this isn’t easy but is worth it in the long run). You can observe these meetings every day, everyone jumping around the room, or more likely just grinding their teeth, trying to put the frog in the box. Feel free to ask, “what is the concept we are discussing, can someone define it?” and maybe start each meeting with it written down? At GU not all meetings are toxic. In fact some are great but too many are pointless. So here are some rules to apply before you dive headlong into a day of meetings: • Do you really need to have a meeting? After all imagine if everyone spent that hour actually working on the project and then having a 15 minute meeting to update where they’ve got to. • Write down the reason for the meeting and what the objective is. Ideally get people to bring their thoughts to the table. Send this around in advance. Reward those who contribute with positive feedback. • Set a maximum of 30 minutes for the meeting. Buy an egg timer. When it rings everyone leaves the meeting. Amazing how much more productive people are when they have a deadline. • Don’t spend half the meeting explaining why people are there. If you are doing this it means that communication on the project is poor. Set up email groups, open folders and use collaborative tools such as Base Camp and Google docs. • Try to avoid meeting rooms. In my experience unless the sessions are well run they bring out the worst in human beings. Would you call you girlfriend into a meeting room and expect her to react positively? Well most people are like that girlfriend. In their head they are saying “fuck you, now what do you want”?

Here are some more reasons why: • They break your working day into small, incoherent pieces that disrupt your natural workflow • They’re usually about words and abstract concepts, not real things (like a piece of code or some interface design) • They usually convey an abysmally small amount of information per minute • They often contain at least one moron that inevitably gets his turn to waste everyone’s time with nonsense • They drift off-subject easier than a Chicago cab in heavy snow • They frequently have agendas so vague nobody is really sure what they are about • They require thorough preparation that people rarely do anyway” –From Getting Real, by 37 Signals

As a final point, some of the best meeting I have had have been in the bar, standing up, with lots of good contributions (occasionally alcohol) with openness and productivity that reflects the surroundings. So please, stop having meetings, do more doing and be happy. I guarantee you may just be pleasantly surprised. By Rob Forshaw

Another school of thought is that meetings exist when a concept is not clear enough. I like this idea as it suggests, as is often the case, that meetings are a constant on a project; designed to constantly define the idea. Don’t meet until this is sorted or you’ll expend too much energy wastefully. It would be easier to catch a frog with

INDUSTRY

CULTURE

TWEET ––– 250

FILM ––– REVIEW End Of The Line

Whether we like it or not we talk about brands every day – both positively and negatively; in relation to the banal and the brilliant. These conversations happen up and down the country, in bars, coffee shops, bedrooms and boardrooms, potentially offering brands a unique insight into how they talked about by the most important people of all, their customers. Unfortunately for brands these conversations are private, their content the preserve of those engaged – in short they have no right to reply and no insight into what is being said. Twitter has changed this. Conversations are no longer private – they are happening everyday online in full view of anyone who’s interested. Most people are only interested in their friends, families, colleagues and celebrities of course. There is nothing to be gained by blanketly listening to everyone who is talking – it would be a sea of white noise. Brands however can listen to everyone – by selectively picking out conversations that are about them. If someone complains about customer service, champions a recent product or just fleeting references a

brand experience, companies can now listen in and better understand how they can deliver products and services that people want. From this thought we have setup a site called Tweet 250, for brands, marketers, students and whoever else may be interested to find out what are the world’s most talked about brands. It is in its early form at the moment – we will be updating the site over the weeks and months ahead to further develop how it works and what it offers. Our hope is it becomes something people use either in research or as tracking tool to see how a brand is doing. As we said it’s early days, the kick-off meeting was only six weeks ago, but it should prove an interesting test to see if brands pick up on the need to listen and respond to what people are saying about them. If you have any ideas for the site or would like to get involved let us know. http://www.tweet250.com By Steve Parker

Do you know where your fish comes from? Do you know how it’s caught? Do you care? Have you actually thought about it before? Fish supplies are limitless, right? The sea is massive. Director Rupert Murray creates an interesting, thought provoking film with Charles Clover, an environmental journalist. The beauty of life under the sea is contrasted with the harsh realities of the fishing industry, the declining stocks and the economic powers that have been skewing the facts for years. What could’ve been another sensationalist film about the end of the world actually leaves viewers thinking about why it is so important. The documentary reveals information we never knew existed to show the effect it is having on our planet, and lays down the hard-hitting fact that we are heading for a world without fish within the next 50 years. Drastic over-fishing has already destroyed communities and it seems that the majority of fish worldwide are caught through the illegal fishing business. We are living in the information age, and Rupert and Charles are giving us the knowledge to make better and more informed decisions. They are doing for fish what Jamie Oliver and Hugh Fearnley-Whittingstall did for chicken. Information about how fish were caught and where they come from isn’t included on the labels in our shops and supermarkets, and unsurprisingly they neglect to inform us that most fish

is illegally caught or supplied as a result of over-fishing, something I didn’t know until now. The film has already started to have an impact. Murray invited buyers from every major fish retailer to a private viewing a month before its release, with the result that Pret a Manger and Marks & Spencer have since pledged only to sell fish from sustainable sources that is pole or line-caught. Cod and Bluefin tuna are the fish closest to extinction and their plight is highlighted as the (pseudo) ethical Nobu restaurant tries to back down from selling its signature dish by adding a note on the menu advising customers not to buy it. It seems an empty gesture perhaps, but certainly demonstrates the pressure on restaurants and retailers to be seen to be taking action, which can only be a good thing. The press this film has received has been mostly limited to a naked poster of Greta Scacchi posing with nothing but a fish to hide her modesty. It deserves more. The cause is real and urgent. It has changed the way I eat fish and the way I view them. I feel like my eyes have been opened. And I don’t want to go back. By Carolyn Appleton See the film: endoftheline.com Join the facebook group www.facebook.com/endofthelinemovie Follow the tweets: twitter.com/theendoftheline

INDUSTRY

CULTURE

TWEET ––– 250

FILM ––– REVIEW End Of The Line

CULTURE

TIPS ––– FOR THE TOP

The Dolly Rockers – Parlophone

MUSIC ––– REVIEW

The Dolly Rockers got kicked off The X Factor in 2006 at Louis Walsh’s castle, but since then the cauldron has been bubbling away and now thanks to the Ray Hedges hit machine (which has churned out singles for Take That, Chicane and, er, B*Witched) this troublesome trio are here to provide a poppy antithesis to downturn doom. Don’t be fooled by the bags of regional charm - Leeds lass Brooke makes Cheryl Cole sound like the Queen Mum, slurring “Woke up this mornin’ an’ I looked dead rough” in the opening line to ‘Bang Bang’. When I met the girls last month and explained a bit about Hubbub, her tipsy screech of “Gizza campaign! We’ll do anything!” before flashing her crotch at my camera made a refreshing change from the pampered label lovelies you otherwise encounter. In addition to being a regular on the Hubbub stereo, their topically acerbic lyrics (“Footballers pay for the glitz and your refurbed tits” – from anti-WAG anthem ‘Gold Digger’) have already garnered significant support from The Times, The Guardian and Observer Music Monthly long before their first single. EMI was forced to rush out a free download of their track ‘Je Suis Une Dolly’ after Radio 1 promoted it so heavily despite no plans for an official release. Although on the surface The Dollys are a burst of A1 bubble gum pop, they also don’t shy away from more controversial topics, making light work of the line “The tables were flying, he gave me a bruiser”; turning domestic violence into a disco stomper. Add into the mix the backroom staff that launched Lily Allen, The Dolly Rockers have the tunes and the ‘tude to feast on The Saturdays, wash them down with a treble vodka Red Bull and teeter away on their 4-inch plastic Primark platforms. Only when the giggling gaggle are out of sight do you realise they’ve run off with your credit card…but you really wouldn’t mind the whole experience happening again. www.myspace.com/thedollyrockers Triumphed by Sophie Lavender

Jarvis Cocker , The Troxy Wednesday 17th June. 2009

I’ve been to gigs at most of the venues in London so was rather surprised (and pleased) to see a new one added to my repertoire: The Troxy. It’s a beautiful old art deco cinema in Limehouse, apparantly more accustomed to hosting cage fighting (!) than gigs. After some mandatory pre-gig drinks, we got a place near the front and, as usual, I couldn’t see a bloody thing! After repositioning myself, Jarvis took to the stage. That man is too cool for school (well he did threaten to cane us at one point...). He had a bit of Northern chit-chat with the crowd before getting straight into ‘Pilchard’. The extended intro was amazing, with lots of lights and noise! A few tracks from the new album followed including ‘Angela’, one of my favourites. He played a couple from the first album, including ‘Big Julie’ and ‘Fat Children’ before it was back to the new again. I thought his witty banter and his famous, energetic (and lanky) style of dancing made it a great gig. Everyone else seemed to agree as we got two encores, ending with the great ‘You’re In My Eyes (Disco Song)’ and a fab sparkly disco ball. Overall, The Troxy was pretty but was a bit too open-plan and airy for my liking. Jarvis, however, was excellent and I think I love him. If you share the Jarvis love; his smooth style and penchant for disciplined canings you can catch him headlining the Secret Garden Party festival this year. By Natasha Webb

Bombay Bicycle Club – Island

Mayer Hawthorne – Stones Throw Records

These four boys from North London unexpectedly triumphed in 2006’s ‘Road to V’ competition beating heavyweight rivals The Holloways thanks to their youthful guile and a songwriting proficiency far beyond their tender years. With a full festival circuit ahead of them this summer and debut album ‘I Had The Blues But I Shook Them Loose’ to be released next month, the not-yet-18 year olds are on track for something big and frontman Jack has Borrell’s rock god boots a-quaking. Saddle up. www.myspace.com/bombaybicycleclub Triumphed by Mo Prendergast

A 29-year-old white kid from Ann Arbor, Mayer has caught the ear of BBC Radio 1 host Gilles Peterson and producer/DJ Mark Ronson. Expectations are high for the admitted vinyl junkie who never planned on taking his crooning public. Hawthorne’s hanging-by-a-string falsetto and breakbeat production on his first recorded effort, the tender “Just Ain’t Gonna Work Out” proves that although Hawthorne never intended to become a singer, he’s safely the new-school soul sensation. www.myspace.com/mayerhawthorne Triumphed by Maebh Kelly

CULTURE

TIPS ––– FOR THE TOP

The Dolly Rockers – Parlophone

MUSIC ––– REVIEW

Jarvis Cocker , The Troxy Wednesday 17th June. 2009

Bombay Bicycle Club – Island

Mayer Hawthorne – Stones Throw Records

CULTURE

CHRISTINE KEELER ––– THE CHAIR

Christine Keeler by Lewis Morely 1963 - London

of steps back. It was then I saw the pose and snapped. It was more a reaction than a considered shot.” When he saw the contact sheets he immediately chose this final frame. “It was the least revealing and the least pin-uppy which, in its own way, became more provocative because of what could not be seen. It fired people’s imaginations of what was hidden behind the plywood shield.” The image, which was first published in the Sunday Mirror at the height of the uproar, has become indelibly associated with scandal in the public’s mind. It has since appeared everywhere and, like Korda’s photograph of Che, has seen numerous copycat versions. Even Homer has straddled the chair.

Christine Keeler, the call girl involved in the Profumo affair, is sitting astride a Habitat knock-off of Arne Jacobsen’s Ant chair in this famous image from 1963. Lewis Morley took the photographs in his studio, a room in Peter Cook’s Establishment Club on Greek Street, as publicity stills for a film that was never made. “The producers wanted shots of her nude, but Christine was very reluctant,” says Morley. “Their demand was solved by me clearing the studio of everyone and suggesting she strip and sit on the chair. This way she would be complying witht their demands but she would be revealing much less than expected.” This last roll of film was shot in a matter of minutes as Morley wanted to wrap up. “I was hand-holding the camera,” he remembers. “I thought I’d shot enough and I took a couple

By Stu Hallybone

WOULD THE REAL CHRISTINE KEELER PLEASE STAND UP – SOME OF THE MANY IMITATIONS

CULTURE

CHRISTINE KEELER ––– THE CHAIR

Christine Keeler by Lewis Morely 1963 - London

By Stu Hallybone

WOULD THE REAL CHRISTINE KEELER PLEASE STAND UP – SOME OF THE MANY IMITATIONS

CULTURE

BEAUTY AND THE BEASTS SINCE THE CONTROVERSIAL BAN ON FOX HUNTING IN NOVEMBER 2004, THERE HAS BEEN INCREASED PRESSURE ON MANY OTHER RURAL PURSUITS FROM ANGLING TO GREYHOUND RACING. ONE TRADITIONAL COUNTRY PURSUIT TO COME UNDER SUSTAINED PRESSURE IS SHOOTING. SHOOTING, AS WITH FOX HUNTING, POLARISES OPINION ACROSS THE NATION, BUT WHICH SIDE OF THE FENCE DO YOU RESIDE? HERE ARE THE FACTS, MAKE UP YOUR OWN MIND… By Nick Parnell

FOR

AGAINST

Around 1 million people in the UK shoot.

Game birds are not protected under farming regulations or animal welfare law and as a result they are reared in cruel, battery conditions.

Shooting is worth £1..6bn to the UK Economy.

40% of pheasants and 90% of partridges which are used in the UK are imported from Europe and suffer immensely during transport.

Shooting is involved in the management of two-thirds of the rural land area. Nearly half a million shooters do not live in the countryside.

Every year between 20 and 35 million gamebirds are intensively bred, reared and transported across vast distances to supply live targets for commercial shooting estates.

Rural England employs over 5.4m people. Of these, over 10% are directly employed in shooting supported jobs.

10% will not survive the rearing process.

It is estimated that 620,000 people are involved in the provision of sporting shooting in the UK. That is the equivalent of 49,000 full time jobs, or 1/5 of the total agricultural workforce.

Approximately 8 million game birds released into the wild to be shot actually die from exposure, predation, in traffic accidents or from starvation as they are unable to fend for themselves in the wild.

Shoot providers spend £250m a year on conservation – which is 5 times the annual income of Britain’s biggest wildlife conservation organisation, the RSPB.

Gamekeepers snare, trap, poison and bludgeon 12,300 animals each day, including protected species and domestic pets, in an effort to protect game birds from natural predators.

Shooters spend 2.7million work days on conservation – the equivalent of 12,000 full time jobs. Typically, a shoot provider will provide 16 days shooting, whilst undertaking an average of 155 days of wildlife and habitat management each year.

Battery reared gamebirds are piled into tiny wire cages with no bedding and little room to move around. This is a hugely stressful environment, which, leads to stress behaviours such as pecking and cannibalism.

Between 2003 and 2007 sales of game through farm shops, farmer’s markets and online purchase went up 60% while supermarkets’ value has increased by a staggering 150%.

Shooting estates stop providing food when the season ends leaving those that do survive the season to fend for themselves; a fate for which they are ill-equipped having been artificially reared and fed all their lives.

“Every time I see the Countryside Alliance and their contorted faces I redouble my determination to vote in the House of Commons to abolish hunting forever,” John Prescott, Politician

CULTURE

FOR

AGAINST

Around 1 million people in the UK shoot.

Game birds are not protected under farming regulations or animal welfare law and as a result they are reared in cruel, battery conditions.

Shooting is worth £1..6bn to the UK Economy.

40% of pheasants and 90% of partridges which are used in the UK are imported from Europe and suffer immensely during transport.

Shooting is involved in the management of two-thirds of the rural land area. Nearly half a million shooters do not live in the countryside.

Every year between 20 and 35 million gamebirds are intensively bred, reared and transported across vast distances to supply live targets for commercial shooting estates.

Rural England employs over 5.4m people. Of these, over 10% are directly employed in shooting supported jobs.

10% will not survive the rearing process.

It is estimated that 620,000 people are involved in the provision of sporting shooting in the UK. That is the equivalent of 49,000 full time jobs, or 1/5 of the total agricultural workforce.

Shoot providers spend £250m a year on conservation – which is 5 times the annual income of Britain’s biggest wildlife conservation organisation, the RSPB.

Gamekeepers snare, trap, poison and bludgeon 12,300 animals each day, including protected species and domestic pets, in an effort to protect game birds from natural predators.

Between 2003 and 2007 sales of game through farm shops, farmer’s markets and online purchase went up 60% while supermarkets’ value has increased by a staggering 150%.

“Every time I see the Countryside Alliance and their contorted faces I redouble my determination to vote in the House of Commons to abolish hunting forever,” John Prescott, Politician

CULTURE

“If some animals are good at hunting and others are suitable for hunting, then the Gods must clearly smile on hunting” Aristotle, Philosopher

“What are the big issues? The NHS. Crime. Education. Europe. And Pensions. What is the Government up to? Banning hunting.” The Sun Newspaper

“The perils of duck hunting are great especially for the duck” walter cronkite, american journalist

“Hunting is not a sport. In a sport, both sides should know they’re in the game.” Paul Rodriguez, film maker

“When I was twelve, I went hunting with my father and we shot a bird. He was laying there and something struck me. Why do we call this fun to kill this creature who was as happy as I was when I woke up this morning.” Marv Levy, NFL coach

“The time will come when public opinion will no longer tolerate amusements based on the mistreatment and killing of animals. The time will come, but when? When will we reach the point that hunting, the pleasure in killing animals for sport, will be regarded as a mental aberration?”

“Hunting is part of country life and destroying it will put a lot of people out of work and be worse for the animals. They will have to be shot instead - and that means many will be wounded. We kill them outright.” Liz White, Ex saboteur and former member of the

Albert Schweitzer German medical Missionary, Theologian, Musician and Philosopher. 1952 Nobel Peace Prize winner

“There is a passion for hunting something deeply implanted in the human breast.” Charles Dickens, Novelist

CULTURE

“If some animals are good at hunting and others are suitable for hunting, then the Gods must clearly smile on hunting” Aristotle, Philosopher

“What are the big issues? The NHS. Crime. Education. Europe. And Pensions. What is the Government up to? Banning hunting.” The Sun Newspaper

“The perils of duck hunting are great especially for the duck” walter cronkite, american journalist

“Hunting is not a sport. In a sport, both sides should know they’re in the game.” Paul Rodriguez, film maker

Albert Schweitzer German medical Missionary, Theologian, Musician and Philosopher. 1952 Nobel Peace Prize winner

“There is a passion for hunting something deeply implanted in the human breast.” Charles Dickens, Novelist

CULTURE

THEATRE ––– REVIEWS Eight It has been quite an eventful year for Ella Hickson and her play, Eight. While most of us were catching up on sleep, partying to excess and doing as little work as possible in the months after our finals, Hickson won a coveted Scotsman Fringe First Award, achieved international critical acclaim and enjoyed a sell-out run on Broadway. She is now planning to take Eight around the world. Oh, and she’s only 24. And this is her debut as writer and director. Beat that. The success of Eight can only be described as stratospheric. Considering the fact that for many of the cast this was their professional acting debut, what they’ve accomplished is quite incredible. This is the start of something big, for the play, its actors and Hickson herself. I studied with some of those involved with the play at Edinburgh University, including Ella, so I’ve always admired their achievements. So what’s all the fuss about? Taking the predicament of the society in which we live, Hickson wanted to write a play about what defined her generation. After posing this question to her peers, Ella found that the universal response was “apathy.” In response to this cynicism, Eight aims to prove that her generation are not the lost cause that so many perceive them to be, affirming their capacity for intellectual and political action. As Hickson explains: “I’m trying to tackle the negative reputation that my generation has earned itself. We need to prove we’re not all apathetic, drug-munching, no-brainers. We do have something intelligent to offer and we’re not afraid of having

political punch. It’s about time we believed in something.” Each performance of Eight consists of four fifteenminute monologues, but Hickson gives the audience the opportunity to play a part in the direction of the show themselves. Prior to each performance audience members vote on which of the eight characters’ stories they wish to see, bringing a kind of reality-TV style audience participation to the theatre. Actor-spectator interaction is at the heart of the play, with each performer engaging the audience on a personal level with the subject matter explored, sharing their dilemmas and insecurities. The eight stories are varied - one dispels the American dream, one is told by a survivor of the London bombings, one shows how apathy leads to rampant consumerism – but each character has faced some sort of crisis or trauma that forces them to reassess their outlook on life. It’s kaleidoscopic in that sense; eight different reflections of a common theme, with each performance entirely different from the last. Ella is currently rehearsing her second play, Precious Little Talent, which will debut at the Edinburgh Fringe in August. Eight will be showing in the West End in July. This is an opportunity to see not only an ambitious and critically acclaimed play, but the first work of a talented young writer who is no doubt one to watch for the future. Eight is on at the Trafalgar Studios from 6th-25th July, to choose your cast and book your ticket go to: www.eight-theatre.com By Donna Quinnell

Priscilla Queen of the Desert

Arcadia

If a long week in advertising can sometimes leave you weary and cynical, the perfect Friday pick-me-up I have found is a night at Priscilla Queen of the Desert, currently showing at the Palace Theatre. As the group of transsexuals gathering outside indicated, a night at Priscilla means leaving your inhibitions and prejudices at the door and immersing yourself in a celebration of friends, individuality and massive campness. The story, which is almost irrelevant, sees three drag performers travelling from Sydney to make a performance at a casino in the outback. What the musical is really about, however, is fabulous OTT costumes, popular hits belted out with passion and jokes rooted firmly in filth and innuendo. Singing along, clapping and whooping mid-song is actively encouraged at this musical. Luckily two of my favourite songs are “Girls Just Want To Have Fun” and Joni Mitchell’s “Both Sides Now”, and I know all the words, but if you need some help with letting out your inner power ballads, cocktails served in flashing neon glasses are surely the answer. For those who appreciate the male form, which, let’s face it, is nearly all the audience at Priscilla, special mention has to be made of the body of Oliver Thornton as Adam/ Felicia: Unfortunately, despite far too long searching on the internet, I cannot find a photo that does justice to his best stage appearances. It is possible that the above has made you think that Priscilla is the last show you’d like to see, but if one evening you need an escape from the mundane, a burst of infectious energy and something to put a smile on your face, then Priscilla is certainly the show for you. By Karen Iles

The closest I get to scientific appreciation is skim reading Bryson’s ‘A Short History of Nearly Everything’, and having a bit of a crush on Richard Dawkins. At school I found science eye-wateringly tedious. Physics baffled me. Biology bored and I can’t even remember how I felt about Chemistry it made so little impression. Tom Stoppard’s Arcadia makes science accessible, placing discussions of thermodynamics, iterated algorithms and Fermat’s Last Theorem alongside explorations of poetry, literature, history and architecture. It’s a knowledge cake where the difficult stuff is made far more palatable by the delicious chocolate icing. I first saw Arcadia on a school trip when it starred the utterly gorgeous Rufus Sewell as tutor Septimus Hodge. By half time all the girls (and some of the boys) had fallen hopelessly in love with his chiselled cheek bones and doe eyes. We hung on his every word and by the final curtain we felt that our minds had been blown by a Greek god of erudition. Up against this cherished memory of teenage desire and discovery this new production had something to live up to. Set in a Derbyshire country house with the action spanning two time periods - the early 1800s and modern day - the narrative has the potential to be intellectually intimidating (this is no Mama Mia!). However Stoppard uses the device of Septimus tutoring his protégé Thomasina to guide the audience through the complexities of Enlightenment thought. While in the modern day a philosophical boxing match is played out between the academic Bernard, who values literature above all else, and the mathematical genius Valentine, who views all cultural endeavours as trivial by comparison. Stoppard is of course on all sides - the quest for knowledge of whatever kind is noble and enriching - this is the lesson he wants us to learn. Arcadia is moving, thought provoking, intriguing and funny. It warms the cockles of your heart and as you leave the theatre your brain feels just a little bit bigger. What more could you want? By Claire Kneeshaw

CULTURE

Priscilla Queen of the Desert

Arcadia

CULTURE

HT Harris

41 Great Titchfield Street. W1W 7PG

EATERY ––– REVIEWS

When we moved to Great Titchfield Street from the leafy surrounds of Notting Hill, the race was on to find the best sandwich shop around. We are spoilt for choice compared to where we were. Notting Hill had the staple M&S, Eat, Pret and Apostrophe, but there was little in the way of classic independents besides the Italian tourist traps that line the gateway to Portobello Road. It is marked contrast in the centre of town where every road has at least one independent sandwich shop or coffee house. Our closest is HT Harris and it sells the best sandwich I have ever eaten. A bit of background: I’m not a sandwich novice. There are a few staples that make up the foods I love – no haute cuisine – but the carbtastic basics of Pizza, Sandwiches and Cereal. The former two marry the satisfaction of something stodgy with the ability to have any number of tastes and textures layered on top or in-between. HT Harris gets that perfectly. The sandwich ingredients take centre stage – a range of fresh cheese, meats, veg, salads and sauces are presented to everyone as soon as they enter the shop. Behind the mandatory glass panel are properly sourced, whole ingredients. Not trays of pre-made sandwich fillers – so often cold blends of chicken and herbs – but big blocks of cheese and meats. It’s like a butcher, green grocer and cheese maker have come together to make you lunch. They don’t skimp on size either. For under a fiver you get a sandwich large enough to fill you through your first few evening pints without feeling a need to line the stomach further. Toasted ciabatta loaded with your fresh pickings. The staff are all Italian and smile almost knowingly at the feast they are about to lavish on your lunch, from the younger, master sandwich maker to the older, slightly slower but unquestionably passionate shop owner who rings the tills. There are other sandwich shops on other roads, but none to date has provided the complete sandwich in the way that HT Harris do. My favourite is brie, ham, rocket and cranberry sauce. Yes, Eat do something very similar, but its pre-packaged and probably defrosted. No danger of that here.

The Dover Castle

Weymouth Mews. W1G 7EH I distinctly remember it. We were walking down the thronging streets of commercial London, being knocked this way and that by unaware human cattle. Given the crowded circumstances we weren’t in our best moods. A decision needed to be made; to shepherd us to safety before any lasting mental or physical damage was to ensue. We ducked, dived, bobbed and weaved ourselves on to the relative tranquillity of the side streets parallel to Regent Street, skirting Harley Street. Individuals were becoming disconcerted, questioning the validity of our direction and mewing that they were in need of nourishment. Then we stumbled across the Dover Castle. The pub was peering out quaintly and unassumingly, nestled on the quiet Weymouth Mews. A perfect respite to renew our spirits and give us much needed refreshment. On approach I had the feeling that only those in need will find it. From the outside it is a quintessential town tavern with well maintained hanging baskets, and a proper sign swinging lightly above stained glassed windows. This traditional feel continues inside with wood panelling and an uneven, patterned carpet supporting various pub furniture. When reaching the bar it is immediately apparent, especially with the lack of music, this is a Samuel Smith pub. For some this is very much a positive thing, for others it may mean you can’t have your favourite German weiss beer nor a glass of the 1985 Margaux. However, the array of quality, own-branded drinks available at credit-crunching prices cannot be baulked at. I noticed that the beer was particularly good at the Dover Castle, whether that’s the clean pipes, fresh barrels or the friendly company seems irrelevant. It hit the spot and tasted right. After a couple of jars it was time to eat. The fare was hearty and again from a standard menu as in all of its sister pubs, but we were told it’s a new menu which made it slightly more exciting. I had the chicken and mushroom pie whilst friends plumped for the burgers, curry, gammon steak and fish and chips. All the portions were sizeable and, much like the beer, had the desired effect. I’ll make no bones about it, the food was not Michelin starred and was most likely microwaved, but on the occasion it was perfectly decent. So, we continued to drink and were merry. Very merry. When we eventually left, surprised to still have money rattling in our pockets, the day was dimming and the pub, upwardly lit, looked at its best. Whether we made it home from the Dover Castle didn’t matter anymore, we’d found a cracking little pub. For occasions when you want good beer and honest food, away from the masses, with or without good company, I’d recommend you pop in and review it for yourself. By James Armstrong

By Steve Parker

Comptoir Libanais

65 Wigmore Street, London. W1U 1PZ A pleasant 10-minute stroll away from the office lies Comptoir Libanais, a small, brightly-coloured deli café that offers a veritable Aladdin’s cave of edible treats. As its name suggests, the cuisine is Lebanese, but its décor has more of an East-meets-West-End feel, obviously designed to appeal to Londoners accustomed to the modern, bright interiors of Pret or Carluccio’s. Industrial-style metal stools and blown-up pop-art prints on the wall are juxtaposed with the empty harissa tins used as cutlery holders and colourful woven shopping bags displayed alongside the food. But the fusion works perfectly - it feels lively and fresh, with the shop’s stylish orange and turquoise patterned branding and painted motif of a smiley Mediterranean-looking lady used boldly throughout, giving it a strong visual identity. Upon entering, the deli counter welcomes you with its selection of mezze goodies, freshly-baked exotic breads, an array of wraps, cakes and pastries, as well as tagines and fritattas for those after more of a sit-down meal. Stacked high against the opposite wall are all manner of eye-catching exotic delicacies: Turkish delight, tins of spices, preserves and sugar coated chick-peas. If you time your arrival well, a row of plates atop the counter proffers generous samples of their sweet and savoury breads - the cumin, date and fig lavosh and green and black olive bread are our favourites - or even a baklava or two if you’re lucky.

Their selection of wraps is the most obvious option for a takeaway lunch. All the familiar kebab shop favourites are on offer here: chicken and lamb kofta, falafel and chicken taouk (a bit like shish), as well as the slightly more adventurous halloumi and olive and prawn falafel. But they’re tastier and certainly healthier than anything you’d get at your average high-street doner vendor. It’s hard to pick favourites as they’re all great, although the chicken taouk would be a clear winner were it not for its occasional tendency to be slightly too heavy on the aioli. It’s worth trying them all for yourself, especially if you collect stamps on the generous reward card, which gives you every fifth wrap for free. This goes some way to explain why I haven’t yet strayed far from the wrap section of the menu, but what I have tried certainly hasn’t disappointed. Mezze-wise, I’d heartily recommend the pumpkin kibbeh - little pastry parcels of roasted pumpkin with walnuts and pomegranite molasses, and to drink, the fresh juices and lemonades are all tasty and refreshing, the latter a more credit-crunch-friendly proposition at £1.50 (compared to £2.70 for a large juice). There are currently two branches of Comptoir in London and it’s growing quickly, with two more set to open soon. Go there before everyone else gets in on the action… By Pete Munro

CULTURE

HT Harris

41 Great Titchfield Street. W1W 7PG

EATERY ––– REVIEWS

The Dover Castle

By Steve Parker

Comptoir Libanais

CULTURE

CURIOSITIES

The Pocket Square ––––– The Major Importance of Minor Things

SUMMER ––– ART EVENTS

Mr Bingo for Gifted

SOAK UP SOME CULTURE THIS SUMMER BY CHECKING OUT SOME OF LONDON’S BEST FREE ART EVENTS Free Range Art Show In the cavernous space of The Old Truman Brewery a selection of new creative talent can be found throughout the summer, with students from the best art and design schools around the country exhibit their final year work. The show runs for 8 weeks with each week dedicated to a specific discipline. The Old Truman Brewery, 91 Brick Lane, London E1 6QL Opening Nights: Thursdays 6pm-10pm Show Days: Fridays to Mondays 10am-7pm

Gifted This art auction for charity is in its 2nd year and is due to take place this September. With all funds raised going to Teenage Cancer Trust and Kids Co there couldn’t be a better way to build your art collection. Venue and date TBC. Check website for updates. www.giftedauction.org

Secret Blisters Show This 3 day event has a unique proposition- 35 artists, 35 editions, 35 pounds. Now in its 3rd year there are actually over 50 artists participating due to the success of this innovate show. None of the prints are signed and with some well known artists such as Eine and Pure Evil taking part in the event you could easily pick up a bargain. Friday 26th June – Sunday 28th June. (Blind auction for the #1 edition takes place on Sunday) Mc Motors, Millers Av, Dalston, E8

First Thursdays On the first Thursday of every month the galleries of East London open their doors for late night viewings. A great way to catch up on your art intake, also keep an eye open for opening nights - they may look exclusive but usually if you swan in the free booze is there for the taking. www.firstthursdays.co.uk By Jade Bisram

Lord Chesterfield once described dress as ‘the style of thought’. If that is true then accessories act as punctuation, a point of exclamation through which a gentelman can make an outfit his own, allowing him to stand out from the crowd. He can do this with a watch, neckwear or often a slightly outlandish pair of cufflinks. However, as Jeremy Hackett once said, “it always seems difficult for men to wear accessories without appearing too flashy or overdressed”. To avoid this dangerous quandary, my choice of key accessory to compliment any outfit, from formal top hat and tails through to the casual sports jacket, is the pocket square. The pocket square adds elegance and thought to an outfit; it is chosen with purpose and dedication to style. It acts as the perfect bridge between the flamboyant and the plain, allowing one’s dress to be personalised with the most delicate detail. During the early Renaissance, handkerchiefs were considered an essential and functional accessory. As the sixteenth-century intellectual Erasmus noted, “To wipe your nose on your sleeve is boorish.” Over the centuries handkerchiefs gradually became more ornate, eventually serving as tokens of a couple’s love for each other. Every respectable male would carry a handkerchief, and to this day it is considered a symbol of gentility and social rank. In eighteenth century England, the popular habit of consuming snuff brought handkerchiefs into the drawing room. In the nineteenth century, American farmers across the Deep South mopped their brows with soft cotton versions and the roaring twenties saw a sharp rise in decorative handkerchiefs as the Prince of Wales endorsed the fad for bright silks. Immediate access to a handkerchief is crucial, whether it is to mop one’s brow or to dab spilt champagne from a lady’s dress. During the First World War, officers cached their handkerchiefs in their coat sleeves, but since the advent of the men’s lounge suit in the late nineteenth century, all traditionally tailored coats have featured an appropriately angled chest pocket, not for cigarettes or reading glasses, but to display a bit of flourish, without which the outfit would appear incomplete.

‘A Man should look as if he had bought his clothes with intelligence, put them on with care and then forgotten all about them.’ - Hardy Amis There are two important guidelines concerning pocket squares: one is how to fold them and the other is how to choose one. Folding is simpler - there are two basic techniques (there are a dozen others but only two are essential). If you’re wearing a silk square, shove it into your pocket until an inch and a quarter of silk is showing, point any waving ends towards your left side, and forget about it. Or, if you’re wearing linen, adjust a square fold until the pocket displays a line of white a quarter to a half inch high. Choosing a square can be slightly more trivial, since most dressy suits are paired with solid white, blue or white ground-patterned dress shirts, which lends itself to a simple plain white cotton handkerchief. A gentleman may also match the colour of his handkerchief to his shirt, but under no circumstances should the necktie and pocket square match, as this gives an undesirable and overly studied look. The pocket square will forever remain a stable wardrobe accessory for the sartorially aware, and to finish as I began with a quote from the godfather of style, Hardy Amis: “Harmony in clothes, as in marriage, is a matter of adjustment. Each item in your costume should have a degree of sympathy with the others. You may not be gifted with the artistic eye for colour, but the simple way to avoid conflict is to see that no one item of clothing stands out by itself. If you can do that, you can achieve at least a basic harmony.” By Nick Parnell

CULTURE

CURIOSITIES

The Pocket Square ––––– The Major Importance of Minor Things

SUMMER ––– ART EVENTS

Mr Bingo for Gifted

CURIOSITIES

DOGGY ––– STYLE

The Dog Show is the annual get together of over 200 dog breeds all under one roof at Earls Court. Billed as the ‘ideal place to learn more about the pleasures of canine companionship’, it’s a chance to get up close and personal to a particular breed before purchase. A bit like a test drive. The dogs are there to be stroked, smelled and snuggled to see if they could fit into the family without injury or allergy. For dog lovers it’s the highlight of the year and the perfect foil to the increasingly controversial Crufts. It’s a heady mix of beauty pageant, parish bazaar and freak show all rolled into one. I go every year. By James Walker-Smith

CURIOSITIES

DOGGY ––– STYLE

CURIOSITIES

I feel sorry for Jethro. A stroke and a biscuit temporarily improved his mood but the darkness soon returned as did his thoughts of solitude and Dostoevsky.

I don’t have a lot of time for King Charles Spaniels. But a lot of other people do. I find them to be cunning and manipulative. Don’t trust them or their owners.

When I met Sophie she was being mauled by some kids. I caught her eye and she held my gaze. It felt like she was staring straight into my soul. In another life we would have been together.

When the dogs look like sea lions and the owner is still clutching his Smirnoff Ice from the night before it might be time to call the RSPCA.

They might look like giant puff balls of fun but if Dad’s not careful he’ll find himself out in the kennel while Simeon and Shanty snuggled up to Mum under the duvet.

Jonah is a handsome son-of-a-bitch. He is so charming and dashing he made me feel weak and inadequate. It’s a love hate thing.

CURIOSITIES

I feel sorry for Jethro. A stroke and a biscuit temporarily improved his mood but the darkness soon returned as did his thoughts of solitude and Dostoevsky.

I don’t have a lot of time for King Charles Spaniels. But a lot of other people do. I find them to be cunning and manipulative. Don’t trust them or their owners.

When I met Sophie she was being mauled by some kids. I caught her eye and she held my gaze. It felt like she was staring straight into my soul. In another life we would have been together.

When the dogs look like sea lions and the owner is still clutching his Smirnoff Ice from the night before it might be time to call the RSPCA.

They might look like giant puff balls of fun but if Dad’s not careful he’ll find himself out in the kennel while Simeon and Shanty snuggled up to Mum under the duvet.

Jonah is a handsome son-of-a-bitch. He is so charming and dashing he made me feel weak and inadequate. It’s a love hate thing.

CURIOSITIES

TOP

–––

ROBOTS

5. Cyberdyne Systems T-800 Movie: The Terminator movies Robot skills: Time travel, one liners and likes to shoot the shit out of everything he comes across (apart from John Connor). Fault: Didn’t complete its mission and then became a flippin’ do gooder.

By Jason Ruddy

TWITTER

–––

POEMS http://twitter.com/robjf

http://twitter.com/moomazza

Some girls are bigger than others Morrissey said. But what did he mean? Some badgers are bigger than other badgers. But I don’t think he sang a song about badgers. Did he?

Roses are red Violets are blue You wanted a poem And I said F**K you!

http://twitter.com/parkenstein

http://twitter.com/NickP

Four years of fancy. Four years of flight. Four years of fighting. Four years of might. Four years of disco. Four years of mojo. Four more?

The little pea:

4. C-3PO Movie: A little known franchise called Star Wars Robot skills: Walks around like he’s been buggered. Fault: Is nothing without R2-D2 (and that was a midget in a bin)

3. Max Movie: Flight of the Navigator Robot skills: Steals shit from other planets for ‘research’. Fault: Likes young boys.

2. Johnny 5 Movie: Short Circuit 1 & 2 Robot skills: Has cool tyres for moving around and can repair himself. Fault: Johnny 5 is alive.

1.. Kate Walsh TV show: The Apprentice 2009 Robot skills: Can sell shoelaces to a tramp. Fault: Didn’t win the final so she could take over Alan Sugar’s empire and start Skynet up through his old Amstrad computer.

Little pea, oh little pea With no eyes you can not see Shame for you little pea who wants to see Little pea, oh little pea

Kensal to Bethnal, Ealing to E2, Brixton to Bow. A journey across London. West to East. 6 houses in 4 years. Barclaycard still post to W10.

PHP PHP, oh PHP you don’t mean much to me But Andrew White is the shinning knight who can fix my code So, so what if I’m a useless toad?

CURIOSITIES

TOP

–––

ROBOTS

By Jason Ruddy

TWITTER

–––

POEMS http://twitter.com/robjf

http://twitter.com/moomazza

Some girls are bigger than others Morrissey said. But what did he mean? Some badgers are bigger than other badgers. But I don’t think he sang a song about badgers. Did he?

Roses are red Violets are blue You wanted a poem And I said F**K you!

http://twitter.com/parkenstein

http://twitter.com/NickP

Four years of fancy. Four years of flight. Four years of fighting. Four years of might. Four years of disco. Four years of mojo. Four more?

The little pea:

4. C-3PO Movie: A little known franchise called Star Wars Robot skills: Walks around like he’s been buggered. Fault: Is nothing without R2-D2 (and that was a midget in a bin)

3. Max Movie: Flight of the Navigator Robot skills: Steals shit from other planets for ‘research’. Fault: Likes young boys.

2. Johnny 5 Movie: Short Circuit 1 & 2 Robot skills: Has cool tyres for moving around and can repair himself. Fault: Johnny 5 is alive.

Little pea, oh little pea With no eyes you can not see Shame for you little pea who wants to see Little pea, oh little pea

Kensal to Bethnal, Ealing to E2, Brixton to Bow. A journey across London. West to East. 6 houses in 4 years. Barclaycard still post to W10.

PHP PHP, oh PHP you don’t mean much to me But Andrew White is the shinning knight who can fix my code So, so what if I’m a useless toad?

CURIOSITIES

POWERPOINT

––– ART

An ongoing art series, inspired by *killer* PowerPoint slides that have been presented to us. Some/all of the words have been removed to make them more serious.

San Francisco built with 100,000 toothpicks http://bit.ly/1m8ptb

Clay Shirky on how Twitter might change the world http://bit.ly/85WO2

By Stu Hallybone

INTERESTING LINKS

A 14 meter long and 180 degrees wide projection allows visitors to dive into the fully navigable, real-time 3D visualization of about 16,000 daily flights. http://bit.ly/OUkvt

Including such gems as the first mouse (made of wood) – the Top Ten most influential tech products http://bit.ly/Qu3cL

How many fat people go to Disneyland? Most of them it seems. Check them a selection of them out in this Flickr set. http://bit.ly/B2umb

Wonderful animation to promote The Beatles Rock Band game http://www.thebeatlesrockband.com/cinematic.php

Fantastic, scientific and often irreverent new search engine. Like a thesaurus, calculator and encyclopaedia rolled into one. http://www.wolframalpha.com/

Girl wears one dress for year (but looks stylish and doesn’t smell). http://www.theuniformproject.com/

CURIOSITIES

POWERPOINT

––– ART

An ongoing art series, inspired by *killer* PowerPoint slides that have been presented to us. Some/all of the words have been removed to make them more serious.

San Francisco built with 100,000 toothpicks http://bit.ly/1m8ptb

Clay Shirky on how Twitter might change the world http://bit.ly/85WO2

By Stu Hallybone

INTERESTING LINKS

A 14 meter long and 180 degrees wide projection allows visitors to dive into the fully navigable, real-time 3D visualization of about 16,000 daily flights. http://bit.ly/OUkvt

Including such gems as the first mouse (made of wood) – the Top Ten most influential tech products http://bit.ly/Qu3cL

How many fat people go to Disneyland? Most of them it seems. Check them a selection of them out in this Flickr set. http://bit.ly/B2umb

Wonderful animation to promote The Beatles Rock Band game http://www.thebeatlesrockband.com/cinematic.php

Fantastic, scientific and often irreverent new search engine. Like a thesaurus, calculator and encyclopaedia rolled into one. http://www.wolframalpha.com/

Girl wears one dress for year (but looks stylish and doesn’t smell). http://www.theuniformproject.com/

CURIOSITIES

According to Dr. Urs Gasser by age 20, kids will have spent 20,000 hours online – the same amount of time a professional piano player would have spent practicing.

The average person has 100,000 hairs on his/her head. Each hair grows about 5 inches (12.7 cm) every year. Except Patrick’s.

Swallowed gum is not digested by the gastrointestinal system; it usually passes through within 24 hours.

Only one person in two billion will live to be 116 or older.

The largest gum bubble ever blown was 23 inches in diameter. The record was set July 19, 1994 by Susan Montgomery Williams of Fresno, CA.

USEFUL

The first outdoor sign advertising “CocaCola” still exists. It was originally painted in 1894 and is located in Cartersville, Georgia.

Bazaarvoice‘s study of online product reviews and ratings show that British consumers are more positive than Americans. 88% of British consumers gave ratings of 4 or 5 stars out of 5, compared with 81% of Americans.

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FACTS Armadillos, opossums, and sloth’s spend about 80% of their lives sleeping. Harvey Turner spends about 5% of his asleep.

By the mid-19th century Great Titchfield Street was described as being in an area of “dirty shops and dingy private dwellings...where children never washed” (quote from Pevsner and Cherry, 1991, London 3: North West).

Online sales have risen by an average of 45% year-on-year for the past six months and have grown by 2,000% since 2000.

“Hallybone” means ‘the stream (burna) in the holly trees (holegn)’

In terms of - definition by Washington State University “Originally this expression was used to explain precise quantifiable relationships: “We prefer to measure our football team’s success in terms of the number of fans attending rather than the number of games on.” But it has for a long time now been greatly overused in all kinds of vague ways, often clumsily.”

There are over 9500 Genitourinary Medicine (GUM) clinics in the UK.

Globally everyday there are 100million instances of sexual intercourse.

CURIOSITIES

According to Dr. Urs Gasser by age 20, kids will have spent 20,000 hours online – the same amount of time a professional piano player would have spent practicing.

The average person has 100,000 hairs on his/her head. Each hair grows about 5 inches (12.7 cm) every year. Except Patrick’s.

Swallowed gum is not digested by the gastrointestinal system; it usually passes through within 24 hours.

Only one person in two billion will live to be 116 or older.

The largest gum bubble ever blown was 23 inches in diameter. The record was set July 19, 1994 by Susan Montgomery Williams of Fresno, CA.

USEFUL

The first outdoor sign advertising “CocaCola” still exists. It was originally painted in 1894 and is located in Cartersville, Georgia.

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FACTS Armadillos, opossums, and sloth’s spend about 80% of their lives sleeping. Harvey Turner spends about 5% of his asleep.

Online sales have risen by an average of 45% year-on-year for the past six months and have grown by 2,000% since 2000.

“Hallybone” means ‘the stream (burna) in the holly trees (holegn)’

There are over 9500 Genitourinary Medicine (GUM) clinics in the UK.

Globally everyday there are 100million instances of sexual intercourse.

CURIOSITIES

IPOD

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ROULETTE TAKE ONE IPOD. PRESS ‘SHUFFLE SONGS’. DO THE FIRST THREE TRACKS DEEM YOU TO BE A WINNER OR A LOSER? By Sophie Lavender Maebh Kelly The Comeup (Come Down) – Madlib Nanny Nanny Boo Boo – Le Tigre You Are The Sunshine Of My Life – Stevie Wonder This player recently migrated to the penthouse clutches of Hubbub but expect those stairs to be well-trodden as Madlib echoes the sentiments of the GU fold, who clearly miss her Celtic lilt and stylish sway. Don’t be fooled by the dulcet tones of Stevie and the oestrogren-fuelled New York lesbian duo Le Tigre because in the absence of Sonos, her ‘Gangster Hour’ playlist hides more surprises than this spin suggested… Predicted next spin: Rap Game/Crack Game – Jay-Z

Rob Forshaw

Claire Kneeshaw

Lullaby – Grizzly Bear Musclecar Reform Reprise – Mylo Ragoo – Kings of Leon

Empty Chairs at Empty Tables – Les Miserables Original Cast Pyramid Song – Radiohead Six Gnossiennes VI – Erik Satie

“Here’s to the kids out there smoking in the streets They’re way too young but I’m way too old to preach”

Combine the introspective intricacies of Thom Yorke with the furniture-based lament of the first track and we have someone who is rather bored of the Central Line and the Acton broom cupboard. Alternatively, the first track could be a strong indication that the player has tired of the nomadic, lonely life of a freelancer and wants to join the permanent GU fold.

This player’s iPod is on near-continual play up on the 6th Floor, with the Kings of Leon making a regular appearance. Looking at these lyrics from Ragoo, just what/who may be driving this subliminal messaging strategy? Predicted next spin: Young Pretender – Status Quo

Predicted next spin: Go West – The Pet Shop Boys

CURIOSITIES

IPOD

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Rob Forshaw

Claire Kneeshaw

Lullaby – Grizzly Bear Musclecar Reform Reprise – Mylo Ragoo – Kings of Leon

Empty Chairs at Empty Tables – Les Miserables Original Cast Pyramid Song – Radiohead Six Gnossiennes VI – Erik Satie

“Here’s to the kids out there smoking in the streets They’re way too young but I’m way too old to preach”

Predicted next spin: Go West – The Pet Shop Boys