THE BIG DECISION

NO-ONE HAS CHILDREN thinking, ‘I can’t wait for the day we send them off to boarding school,’ although there may be the odd moment when your pre-teen is causing you grief that it seems like an excellent idea. So, when the day comes and you have to decide where and when you send your child out into the wide world, how do you choose?

It’s week five for me as a parent of a daughter who has started at boarding school this year and I’ve reflected on how we came to this point. I hope these thoughts might help some of you who are currently sitting on the fence.

When it became apparent that we needed to look for another schooling option for our daughter, it wasn’t an easy process. My husband and I now live in a different state from where we both went to boarding school. So, even though I have fond memories of my time in Adelaide, it wasn’t a practical solution to look at my old school.

To make life more interesting, when we had to choose which school our daughter would go to, we were navigating Victoria’s lockdowns and school tours were basically nonexistent. The mass exodus out of Melbourne to regional areas around this time also put a strain on waiting lists and reduced the places available at schools in major regional centres.

This is when online research via school websites, independent guides, boarding school expos, field days — and stalking schools with active social media profiles — became a regular activity for me. The bush telegraph is also very important; talking to other parents of present and past students of the school can be very helpful.

When it was at last possible to do a school tour, this helped us make our final decision. You get to learn first-hand what the school can offer. Sending your child to boarding school is about so much more than just the education they will receive. When we walked out of one particular school tour, my girls said they wished they could start there as soon as possible. I knew then we were on the right track.

Sending your child to boarding school is hard on many levels. Even though I’ve been a boarder myself, the lead-up to the first drop-off was daunting, and I felt quite emotional. Thirty years on, I finally understand why my mum said she cried all the way home after dropping me off.

My tip is to make sure you have your sunglasses on your head. It’s pretty amazing how they help cover your eyes when you have to say your first goodbye in the dining hall. You can’t blame the dust in there! They are even a lifesaver when a sad song comes on the radio as you drive out of your driveway to your first drop-off and you nearly lose it. But I can tell you that drop-off does get easier.

One thing I wasn’t prepared for was the empty feeling I had in the first few weeks after my daughter had started. Mobile phones are a great way of communicating, although when you only receive the odd one-word response — she was having the best time — it makes you miss the conversations you used to have about everything and nothing.

As fate would have it, we got to see a bit more of our little boarder than we were expecting during the first few weeks of term. A pesky appendix decided that it wasn’t needed and she ended up with a trip to emergency. While we were waiting in hospital for surgery, I was asked the question no parent of a new boarder wants to hear: “Do I have to come home, Mum?” In mock horror I said, “Gee, you must have a terrible home life!” Her response: “It’s not that, Mum; don’t be silly. I just really like being at boarding school.” I knew then we had made the right decision.

Sally, a Graziher team member and farmer, grew up in the south east of South Australia and went to Seymour College in Adelaide. Her daughter is currently attending Ballarat Grammar.