PARTNERS in Change

My mom, Rosie, was a great role model for me, as was my father. Mom appreciated warm supportive friendships throughout her life. She attended Detroit’s Cass Tech High School, and, at age 16, played saxophone in an all-girls jazz band—pretty remarkable in 1937! She regaled me with stories about the music, the band’s gigs throughout metro Detroit and how her mom kept a watchful eye on her. But mostly she talked about how close she and her friends were.

Those friendships inspired my own, which helped me weather the ups and downs of my career. Several years ago, I was honored to receive the ATHENA Leadership Award. It came amid a time that tested my leadership chops, during a bit of a low point in my life. I had to give a speech when receiving this wonderful award at the celebration. The speech I wrote definitely mirrored my state of mind. Fortunately, an incredibly good friend read the draft and told me that people were looking for hope, not despair. It wasn’t about me; it was about the audience who was hoping for inspiration.

So, I asked my trusted team at Grand Rapids Community Foundation how to make my speech positive and productive. My colleagues asked, “What was it like, particularly for you as a woman, in the beginning of your career? What is it like now? What does it take to be a changemaker like you have been?” They kindly noted the value of humility in a leader and said they looked to me as a mentor. I decided to talk briefly about how true leadership requires grit and seeking support over the long haul.

One team member sent a link to the graduation speech that Nora Ephron made to the Class of 1996 at her alma mater, Wellesley. Ephron observed how things had changed since her graduation in 1962. “Why am I telling you this? Things have changed, haven’t they?” she said. “Yes, they have. But I mention it because I want to remind you of the undertow, the specific gravity. American society has a remarkable ability to resist change, or to take whatever change has taken place and attempt to make it go away.”

Despite my tough times before receiving the ATHENA Leadership Award, my friends kept me from going down a dark path. This experience highlighted for me that it was the strength of my relationships with wonderful people that kept me moving forward.

I’ve learned that leading meaningful change means to expect resistance. So, when asked what it takes to be a changemaker, I focus on my strong bonds with trusted colleagues and friends. I warn that real leadership causes pain when it surfaces conflict and challenges long-held beliefs. One of my favorite books is Leadership on the Line: Staying Alive through the Dangers of Leadership. Authors Ron Heifetz and Marty Linsky observe, “When people feel threatened, they take aim at the person pushing for change.” That’s why we need to persevere when the purpose is clear and right!

We need our friends, families and colleagues to push for needed change. Leadership is not a solo sport. It takes collaboration and courage. Whenever I have encountered pushback as a female leader—and, yes, that pushback still happens—I recall Nora Ephron’s commencement address advice: “Above all, be the heroine of your life, not the victim.”

So, I say to everyone, be bold. Don’t take a back seat. Don’t be intimidated by those who strongly challenge our ideas or disparage us. We all need to stand tall and stand together. Push on!

Diana R. Sieger

Pictured below: Historical photos of Diana with partners throughout her 36 years as president.