WHO WERE YOU BORN TO BE?

Dr Suzanne Henwood

“I am…” is one of the most powerful statements that we can make.

How many times in a day do we use those words in different contexts?

We may use it in relation to the role we play: • I am a mum. • I am a teacher (or insert other profession).

Or a negative characteristic or behaviour that we are aware of: • I am a workaholic. • I am an idiot or a superhero. • I am always late.

But the role we play, and what we have achieved, does not make us who we are. It is misplaced to hold achievement as an identity level. Roles are thought of as something we do but they are not who we are.

The reality is that we hold our core identity at gut level. And yet so often we answer from a head-based ego identity, which is informed by what society says we should be, or what we have been socialised into thinking that we are. Many of us have forgotten, or may never have consciously known, who we are. Therefore, we have no idea of our potential.

Taking time out to reflect on who we truly and deeply are, enables us to understand what we stand for, what we believe in and what we value. This underpins our decisions and choices and effectively drives our life. Often this is outside of our awareness, like a hidden power moving us in a direction that is not consciously of our choosing. When we dig deep and reconnect with our core self, it gives us insight and self-awareness; it informs our traits and characteristics: are we kind; are we generous; are we fun; are we strong?

• What if we are so much more than we think we are?

• What if where we have drawn our boundary of self is in the wrong place, and we could extend it hugely or remove the boundary completely?

• What if we have the ability to create who we are moving towards — that is different from who we have been?

• Who is it that you are now and who are you becoming?

• Are you determining your trajectory or is life pushing you in a direction that is not of your choosing?

For some people, their sense of self-worth is so low that they believe they are not enough, or faulty. Chances are they spend their lives trying to prove their worth, their significance. They link their sense of self to achievements and possessions. They look for other’s approval. They may

Man is the centre of a circle without a circumference, except the one he creates for himself.

- Mahatma Gandhi.

seek power, money or status to show their worth – to themselves and to those around them.

The reality is self-worth will never be found there - we need to look within. When we explore within and look at how we feel about ourselves, and reflect on our deep inner beliefs, we start to get in touch with our self-esteem. Having high self-esteem means not being worried about being judged by others. It means learning to trust self and respect self and know that you are OK being yourself.

When was the last time you took time out to look inwardly and asked yourself about your core beliefs and whether or not they are resourceful? What “I am” statements do you say without thinking, that determine what you see and experience in the world, and what actions do you choose to take or not take moving forward?

What is amazing is that when you do this inner work, you may find that those beliefs are old, long standing, outdated, or indeed were never, even true. Yet they have been driving your life for as long as you can remember. You have forgotten who you really are and just how amazing you are.

Taking time to explore this inner maze of beliefs, alone or with a suitably qualified coach, will enable you to upgrade your sense of core self. To reconnect with who you always were – at your core.

By changing who you perceive yourself to be, you will change how you relate to others, and how you react to them. Your experience of being in the world will change. This will give you a sense

of control that you may never have experienced in terms of making different choices on who were you born to be.

Are you ready to stop identifying with what you do and have done, and to embrace who you are at your core? Who were you born to be? Dr Suzanne Henwood is the Director and Lead Coach and Trainer of mBraining4Success. She is also the CEO of The Healthy Workplace and a Master Trainer and Master Coach of mBIT (Multiple Brain Integration Techniques) and can be contacted via her website.

Power The of Words

Terry Sidford

We all use words in many languages to communicate to others and ourselves. How often do we pay attention to the impact or true meaning behind our words?

We create power in our life when we take the time to focus and discern why we use certain words or if there is another word that would better describe what we want

to say.

The word ‘power’ has an underlining meaning of influence. We can use the power of words for a positive or negative impact. Words cannot be taken back after they have been said. We can devastate others with a negative connotation without even thinking about it. On the other hand, we can influence others and impact them in a positive light with our words. In short, making less of others can hurt people deeply, acknowledging others can make them feel better about themselves.

Self-Talk.

Now let’s look at words we say to ourselves unconsciously or consciously; these words have power too. How much of the time do we have thoughts running through our head without inspecting them? Every day, all day long, and these words are constantly influencing us in a negative or positive way. I remember reading one of my father’s books when I was fifteen years old. It was about the science of cause and effect. It described how thoughts and words have power to change our lives. They can manifest our future and create exactly what we are thinking and believing.

In the book, it challenged me to pay attention to every negative thought or word that I was thinking. I was completely taken aback at the number of times I thought or said to myself, ‘I can’t’, ‘no’, ‘I wish it could’, ‘I don’t know’, and many more self-defeating words and subliminal messages that I had running through my head reinforcing my reality.

Over a period of time, I changed these words and thoughts into positive, uplifting and affirming words or thoughts. My energy and mood immediately

Words can change lives for better or for worse.

improved. I started to see possibilities in life and not limitations. My world opened up and my communication with others improved dramatically.

This exercise taught me the power of words.

Acknowledging each other with uplifting words.

Another lesson I learned from my father was a tradition that we practiced every Thanksgiving, Christmas, or New Year’s Eve. He would have the family sit around in a circle on the floor. We would take turns acknowledging each other with powerful, uplifting, loving and affirming words. The person receiving the acknowledgement could only say ‘thank you’. This was transformative to the individual giving and the person receiving the acknowledgement.

Take time to focus on what is right in life.

We can often focus on what is wrong with ourselves and others or in life, so let’s take the time to focus on what is right, taking the time to acknowledge these things with powerful words. Take a day to acknowledge yourself. Take another day to focus on acknowledging your family members, take another day to acknowledge friends and even better, take a day to acknowledge strangers. This

can be done by direct communication or writing.

Using words that uplift and transform lives with empower you and your life.

Terry Sidford has been a certified life coach in the United States for the past 15 years and has assisted scores of people in achieving their dreams. More information is available from Terry’s website.

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