LET’S TALK

How to talk with your kids about alcohol

BY MATTHEW BIDDLE

Around the holiday season, alcohol often becomes a ubiquitous presence at celebrations — wine over Thanksgiving dinner, beer on game day, or a champagne toast to ring in the new year.

At each occasion, children and teens are watching how the adults around them consume alcohol and behave while drinking. In turn, young people begin forming their own attitudes toward alcohol with the potential for lifelong consequences.

The good news is that by talking openly and setting a positive example, parents and caregivers can help their kids understand the effects of alcohol and make healthy choices in the future. In fact, according to the U.S. Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA), parents are the No. 1 reason why young people choose not to drink.

High school- and college-aged kids in particular will encounter alcohol at parties and other social gatherings and may feel pressured — or simply be curious enough — to partake. By age 15, roughly one-third of teens have had at least one drink, according to the National Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism. And, when young people choose to drink, they consume more than 90 percent of their alcohol by binge drinking.

That’s why it’s critical for parents to discuss alcohol long before their kids encounter their first drink. The Alcohol Education Trust recommends starting the conversation early — even in elementary school — as research shows children as young as five may already be forming basic opinions about alcohol.

Research from the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services indicates that parents are the leading influence on their kids’ decisions to drink - or not to drink - alcohol. According to responsibility. org, from 2003 to 2016, conversations between kids and their parents increased by 73 percent, while underage drinking decreased by 50 percent. The bottom line is that talking with your kids about alcohol early and often is the best way to keep them safe.

Rather than waiting for a “big talk,” work the topic into everyday conversation when it feels natural, like before a gathering, after watching a movie with relevant scenes, or when an alcohol-related story appears on the news.

In addition, tailor your approach to your child’s understanding and development. Here are some tips from the Alcohol Education Trust for different ages:

YOUNG CHILDREN

Kids are naturally curious — if you crack open a beer, they’re likely to ask about it. Rather than simply saying, “No,” explain why it’s not healthy for kids to drink alcohol and how adults can do so responsibly.

MIDDLE SCHOOLERS

The Alcohol Education Trust refers to age 13 as the “tipping point” when kids’ attitudes may begin to change toward drinking. Discuss alcohol in the context of staying safe, and even consider sharing embarrassing experiences you’ve read about or someone you know has had and the consequences.

HIGH SCHOOLERS

Establish open communication and trust and try to strike a balance between protecting your teens and giving them freedom so they will come to you for advice and stay safe. When dropping them off at a friend’s, make sure an adult will be present, set expectations, and ensure their plans are genuine.

YOUNG ADULTS

When your baby heads off to college, you lose control over how they spend their time. By now, they should have the tools to make healthy choices, but reminders — particularly about the dangers and financial repercussions of impaired driving — may help.

WHAT YOU SAY AND WHAT YOU DO MATTERS

As part of its “Talk. They Hear You.” Campaign, SAMHSA recommends five goals when talking with your children about alcohol. Most importantly, don’t worry about achieving all five in a single conversation. Instead, aim for many short, impactful talks that hit on a couple of these objectives. 1. Show you do not approve of underage drinking. 2. Demonstrate that you care about their happiness and well-being. 3. Establish yourself as a trustworthy source of information. 4.Prove you’re paying attention and will notice if they drink. 5. Build their skills and strategies to avoid underage drinking.

KEY

STATS

Know the risks. According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, excessive drinking is responsible for more than 3,900 deaths a year among people under 21.

Act now. More than 80 percent of kids ages 10 to 18 say their parents are the top influence on their decision over whether or not to drink, according to SAMHSA.

Model good choices. A study in the Journal of Family Psychology found that children with parents who binge drink are much more likely to do so themselves than kids whose parents do not.

Set boundaries. According to the National Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism, 64 percent of eighth graders say alcohol is fairly or very easy to get.