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UPFRONT
COUNCILMAN JOE JONES REPEATEDLY MADE INAPPROPRIATE COMMENTS TO WOMEN, PROMPTING MISCONDUCT INVESTIGATION
WARD 1 CLEVELAND CITY
Councilman Joe Jones was the subject of an investigation of misconduct allegations, as Scene and others reported.
City Council President Blaine Griffin initially opted to attempt to try and shield Jones’ identity but confirmed to reporters this week that complaints from multiple accusers led Council to hire an external law firm to conduct an investigation and make recommendations. Griffin also eventually relented and acknowledged Jones was the subject of the probe.
Among those accusers was an artist who had applied for Destination Cleveland’s “Murals Across The City” project. The meeting at Council Chambers on May 31 was, records show, intended to fine-tune the artist’s vision for the building wall in Jones’ ward.
But Jones didn’t stay on topic, a copy of the complaint sent to Council President Blaine Griffin showed. Especially when Jones seemed to realize the artist sitting in front of him—and four others in the room— was the brain behind the mural design.
Your face, Jones told the artist, should be on it.
“When some of the attendees in the meeting giggled (assuming he was joking), he said, ‘No, really,” the artist wrote.
“The Councilman proceeded to speak about my looks in an uncomfortable manner,” she added. “He spoke about how beautiful I was, and details of my face, and all these attributes that I have that he and his neighborhood would want to see and pay attention to the mural.”
“At this point, I disassociated in order to just get through the meeting, as I was extremely uncomfortable.”
Hannah Belsito, Destination Cleveland’s chief experience officer was there in the room with Jones and told Griffin in the complaint email she was mortified.
“[I] was both embarrassed and disappointed to have invited a prominent local artist into a space where she was treated this way,” Belsito wrote. “We hope that through your awareness of the experience and your leadership, you can ensure it doesn’t happen again to a guest of
Cleveland City Council.”
Griffin expressed remorse after the complaint was filed in a message to Destination Cleveland.
“This is completely unacceptable and I offer my most sincere regrets that this happened,” he wrote.
“The fact that you and your team experienced this is regrettable, and we will definitely look into what options we have to address this.”
This isn’t the first instance of uncomfortable comments and behavior from Jones, records show.
Last February, Jones was accused of touching a staff member’s breast, which he claimed to Griffin was accidental, the Plain Dealer first reported. And in 2022, two staff members cited his “disrespectful” verbiage while yelling at them for what he felt was botching a deadline for casino funds spending.
Jones “acted and behaved like a sexist bully,” one staff member recounted, “and I can only hope I never have to have any interactions with him.”
Council has paid at least $8,120 so far to a law firm hired to handle the issue, which included making recommendations for both Jones and
Council as a whole -- Council Clerk Patricia Britt has been assigned to tag along meetings, for instance.
Last week, Jones announced he was stepping down as chair of the Mayor’s Appointments Committee. The committee had not met since the investigation began last year. Jones was also stripped of his committee assignments though can still attend meetings and vote in meetings of council as a whole.
Jones did not respond to a request for comment from Scene this week.
As he told the Plain Dealer, Griffin seems to have no plan to release Council’s probe into Jones, contending that the report is not a public record in line with state law. – Mark Oprea
When Will Pre-Rolled Joints Be Available at Ohio Dispensaries?
Cleveland dispensaries may soon be selling pre-rolled joints, per protocols released by the Ohio Division of Cannabis Control late last year. This evolution of the state’s recreational program would provide new and veteran consumers alike access to a highly sought-after product.
“We have been constantly asked about pre-rolls, especially when we first launched (recreational sales) during the first few weeks of August,” said Julie Winter, co-chief revenue officer of Ayr Wellness, a Miami-based cannabis company with a retail shop in Woodmere. “People were almost shocked that (pre-rolls) weren’t available.”
The DCC unveiled its proposed regulations in December, updating guidelines for dispensaries, processors, grow facilities and others connected to the state recreational marijuana program. According to the new rules, cannabis pre-rolls are categorized as “raw single-serving units” and “infused single-serving units.”
“A raw single serving unit contains only plant material and the paper,” said James Crawford, public information officer of the DCC, in an email. “An infused single serving unit contains plant material, THC extract and the paper. Defining these separately is important as all cannabis is subject to tracking and testing requirements.”
The DCC submitted its rules package to Ohio Lt. Gov. Jon Husted’s
Photo by Mark Oprea
Common Sense Initiative on Dec. 6. Once cleared by CSI – which reviews business-impacting regulations for the Buckeye State – the package must be passed by the Ohio General Assembly’s Joint Committee on Agency Rule Review before any change can take effect, Crawford said.
In the meantime, local dispensaries are eagerly awaiting the opportunity to offer pre-rolls to their customers. Would-be imbibers appreciate the convenience and portability of singleserving joints, though Ayr Wellness storefronts outside of Ohio offer multiple pre-roll packs as well.
“You can get a cone-shaped pre-roll in one gram, half a gram or a third of a gram,” said Robert Vanisko, vice president of public engagement with the company. “Then they come in singles, doubles or larger packs. Some markets do infused pre-rolls where they’re adding concentrated cannabis oils, but you usually see that in more mature markets.”
Ayr Wellness is currently evaluating the necessary equipment for pre-roll production, while weighing updated advertising rules set forth by the DCC. Constraints on marketing include billboards, television spots, internet promotion, and other forms of advertising “with a high likelihood of reaching persons under the age of 18.”
Revenue officer Winter anticipates a relatively smooth transition to preroll sales, given that the company already distributes cannabis flower from the same suppliers that would provide pre-roll products, she said.
As for actually promoting these offerings, Winter said that banner ads highlighting new products could be featured on the Ayr Wellness website. In addition, loyalty program members may receive text messages and emails announcing the availability of prerolls in stores.
“Even without billboards and outward advertising, we could have age-appropriate events, or partner with other businesses,” Winter said. “We could have signage in our stores that pre-rolls are coming soon, though we’re not giving a heads-up now, because we don’t have a solid timeline yet.” – Doug Guth
Cleveland’s Copper Moon Coffee Shop Denies Trademark Violation Allegations in TikTok Video Lawsuit
Copper Moon Coffee, the postcardsized, nondescript café on Euclid Avenue in Downtown Cleveland, has denied the majority of allegations brought in a federal lawsuit filed over a TikTok video posted last year. The basis of the suit began in August, when TikTok user @
superheroeveryday2recorded a Copper Moon barista refusing to sell her a coffee she had intended to hand to a homeless person out on Euclid.
All which seemed to prompt a PR nightmare.
“The first thing he said is if the coffee is for him [the homeless man] I cannot serve you,” @ superheroeveryday2 said in TikTok post, which has since been taken down.
“I will lose my job,” the barista said, according to a report by The Daily Mail. “The policy is that that causes trouble for our employees because it has people harassing customers out front.”
More than 8,000 commenters had their say, either calling for a boycott or sympathy for overworked baristas. The issue was that many directed their acrimony, the lawsuit says, to the wrong Copper Moon in question: the Copper Moon based in Lafayette, Indiana; not the one Cleveland.
“Many individuals have made negative posts or comments about [Copper Moon Indiana] with the belief [they] were affiliated with” Cleveland’s store, the complaint reads. “Many individuals have indicated they would not purchase [our] products because of the TikTok video.”
The Indiana store’s “goodwill and public perception will continue to be harmed,” if Cleveland’s store “is allowed to continue to infringe on the trademark.”
Copper Moon in Lafayette has been using its name widely, under operation by Brad and Carey Gutwein, since 2007, its website reads. A document from the U.S. Patent and Trademark Office for “Copper Moon” shows registration since October of 2004.
Cleveland’s store, which owner James Orlando opened up in The Statler in 2019, registered its LLC— the Orlando Coffee Company—ten years later than the Lafayette brand, in September of 2014.
The Lafayette store alleges that Orlando did not reply to an August cease-and-desist letter to change its branding, yet tried to separate its store via its own messaging.
“Not affiliated with the coffee roaster, Copper Moon Coffee, LLC, of Lafayette Indiana,” its Facebook profile now reads.
The Lafayette store’s complaint does not specify exactly what it claims its damages are from the PR confusion, yet it’s asking for “compensatory damages” and “three times the amount of actual damages” from the mix-up.
And, of course, for Orlando to totally rebrand.
All of which Orlando, through his attorney, denied this week. The
Lafayette store, the reply reads, “fails to state any claim against [us] upon which relief may be granted.”
Regardless, both stores suffered a barrage of one-star reviews— colloquially called “raiding”— following the August TikTok video. Cleveland’s store has amassed at least 26 negative Google Reviews since.
“Won’t allow you to buy food or drink for the unhoused,” one review read. “Disgusting.”
“Maybe impressionable sheep who drinks up tiktok rage bait?” Copper Moon (the Cleveland one) replied. –
Mark Oprea
Buckeye’s Moreland Theater Gets Pivotal Financial Boost from Cleveland City Council
The 2020 Census showed that Cleveland’s well-developed neighborhoods were the least likely to lose population in the past decade.
And then there was the inner-ring East Side: thousands of people fled neighborhoods historically battling issues such as lead poisoning, unsafe streets and perpetual disinvestment. Buckeye-Shaker, with its 1,100 that fled, was one of them.
In January, City Council discussed and later approved funds geared around an attempt to reverse some of that disinvestment, agreeing to give $300,000 to the ongoing restoration of the Moreland Theater off East 116th and Buckeye Road.
Spearheaded by Burten, Bell, Carr Development for the past six years, the project to bring back a nearly century-old theater and retail cluster in the heart of Buckeye grew as a major node in BBC’s plan to resurrect the area with a power shot of good development. That is, eventually funneling $18.7 million into ten buildings—apartments and storefronts propped up mainly by a new version of the Moreland.
That’s the angle BBC director Joy Johnson sold Council, one revolving around bringing the Moreland back as a theatrical hub for a neighborhood that really hasn’t seen one close by since the 1960s.
The plan stems back to 2019 and included the blocks surrounding the Moreland, an area that was renamed the Buckeye Arts Innovation and Technology District.
“On the east side, you don’t see a lot of public art,” Johnson told Scene. “And a lot of times it’s because we have other sorts of basic needs—but it doesn’t mean that we don’t want public art. It’s always a kind of afterthought.”
And those basic needs are often made public. Following concerns about rising crime, Huntington Bank
threated to close a location down the street off East 117th until neighbors protested. In July, Huntington announced the bank would stay open. Council’s faith in the Moreland’s restoration follows a $3.9 million forgivable loan awarded to BBC back in July. That money, along with the $300,000 green-lit Monday, should help finance construction for four of the ten buildings, BBC Director of Real Estate Mike McBride told Scene. BBC was also able to replace the Moreland’s roof this fall.
First opening in January of 1928, the Moreland Theater was a centerpiece for what used to be the largest hub for Hungarian immigrants in the United States. The theater was so well-renowned in the community that Count Michael Karolyi gave a speech on its stage in 1931.
Come the 1950s and 1960s, the block tried on a wide form of identities. It was sold to new owners, then became a dinner theater, Players Theatre Café; then the Beach Party Room, with three inches of sand; then the Second Shadow Lounge; then a Church of God in Christ for following three decades.
It was sold to the Buckeye Area Development Corporation for $390,000 in 2007.
As for what exactly might be the Moreland’s next phase, Johnson was hesitant to say. She said BBC is in talks currently with a “museum concept” with national reach, and hinted at a theme of local music.
McBride also suggested a children’s theater could also occupy the space.
Attracting a potential tenant is what seemed to convince Council to shell out the $300,000, which came from the remainder of American Rescue Plan dollars allotted to East Side councilpeople.
“Right now, we’re in the phase of trying to stabilize it, restore it, bring it back to use,” Council President Blaine Griffin said at the Monday meeting, “then we really need to try to find out how we actually program it. Because that’s where I see a lot of these theaters [succeeding]—from the programmatic side.”
The restoration of the Moreland fits into a city-wide effort to both save and reuse its aging neighborhood theaters, from the La Salle Theater on East 185th to the Variety Theater off West 117th and Lorain Avenue, which is now again for sale.
Whatever tenant ends up occupying the Moreland will be moving in next summer, if everything goes to plan, McBride said. – Mark Oprea
FEATURE
METAL, MARX, AND MEALS
How a Lorain church is uplifting its Rust Belt town through DIY music shows, art, and community organizing
By Lizzie Manno
THERE’S NO PLACE LIKE Lorain, Ohio. Sure, there are other Midwestern cities still battling the demons of deindustrialization and subsequent disinvestment. But Lorain also has the quaint charm of a lakefront vacation spot and the vibrancy of its famously diverse population. (It’s nicknamed “The International City.”) Lorain is a place where the American dream might feel real if the auto and steel industries hadn’t flatly abandoned this town. People practically talk about the city as if it’s been through a war, and in a way it has—ultimately succumbing to free-market global capitalism and aggressive union busting. Despite its abundance of places of worship from every creed dotting what feels like every corner, it seems like the sort of place God may have forgotten about. But in Lorain, nothing is exactly as it seems. Take the Black River tributary of Lake Erie that cuts through the city, for example. Thanks to recent revitalization efforts, this river looks sparkly as can be, but in the early ‘80s, it was dubbed “the river of fish tumors” following decades of industrial pollution. Or picture the beaver-like creature I almost ran over with my car as it hobbled across a deserted Colorado Avenue at night beneath the yellow glow of a Dollar General sign. It was a bit nerve-wracking and creepy, but that bewitching, ephemeral image somehow brought me joy, and still does. I’m drawn to the ghostliness of this city—its past, present, and future wafting and coalescing in plain sight. Hit hard by the opioid crisis and struggling to adapt to a post-industrial reality, it faces a similar plight as many American towns, but there’s something uniquely magnetic about this place—like its cute, eerily frozenin-time main street, accessible via Depression-era drawbridge—and I can’t help but root for it.
Lorain’s music scene has historically been overshadowed by its Cleveland and Oberlin neighbors. Perhaps its greatest and most influential export was
Songs: Ohia and Magnolia Electric Co. singer-songwriter Jason Molina, who grew up in a Lorain trailer park and bloomed from a devoted metalhead into a revered alt-country poet before his tragic passing in 2013. Locals still talk about Molina with pride—even in the same breath as the late, great Toni Morrison, also a Lorain native. But for a while, it’s been hard to imagine another cult hero like Molina springing from this Rust Belt town, in part because the lone popular venues like the Lorain Palace Theatre and concert series like Rockin’ on the River primarily book tribute bands.
But things are starting to change thanks to some hardy residents who are deeply passionate about cultivating their city’s art scene and building a brighter future for all. Among these figures are Jacob Konieczny,
a tattooed, straight-edge, freeimprov drummer; and Fr. Alex Barton, an openly anti-capitalist Episcopal pastor at Church of the Redeemer in Lorain. (I promise I’m not setting up a “two guys walk into a bar” joke, and not just because Konieczny is a teetotaler.)
With Barton’s blessing, Konieczny hosts DIY shows at the church on nights when it would otherwise be empty, and seeing a performance there is one of the most rewarding and underappreciated live music experiences I’ve had in Northeast Ohio. Along with Konieczny’s wife Sophie Popiel and Amy Melena, Konieczny and Barton are also co-owners of the nonprofit Ship to Shore, which sells vinyl records, books, and coffee and seeks to foster deeper engagement with art, oneself, and the world at large. Ship to Shore is currently limited to pop-up events, but their
permanent storefront will open in Lorain soon.
I first came across this gem of a community back in April 2023, when I saw an online flyer advertising a cool shoegaze show at this aforementioned Episcopal church. It caught my eye because I haven’t encountered other secular, non-classical concerts at Northeast Ohio churches. (For all I know, there could be a church basement somewhere that’s an if-you-knowyou-know spot for local deathgrind, but I haven’t come across it yet.) The flyer advertised a show headlined by Midwife, a New Mexico-based singer-songwriter and self-described “heaven metal” artist named Madeline Johnston; and Nyxy Nyx, a Philadelphia shoegaze band; with support from Holographic Throne, Konieczny’s improvised drone and sludgemetal trio; and others. Much to
Kathryn Mohr performing|Lizzie Manno
my chagrin, I decided to attend a show at Happy Dog that night instead—in part because I’d seen the enchanting Midwife perform before, and maybe subconsciously, I wasn’t super jazzed about sitting in an unfamiliar church on purpose. Three months passed, and I saw another show flyer, this time promoting a gig with Philadelphia floaty drone-rockers Sun Organ and New York City noise-pop act Smile Machine, and I knew I had to see what was going on at this church.
Built in 1904, Church of the Redeemer sits on the corner of Reid Avenue and W 7th Street, next to the recently shuttered St. John’s United Church of Christ and across from the main branch of the Lorain Public Library. It’s a small cobblestone castle-looking building with traditional red doors to signify a place of refuge. Inside, there are gorgeous dark wood arches adorning the ceilings and beautifully detailed stained glass windows at the rear of the church and behind the altar. In short, not the place you’d expect to hear ear-splitting guitar music. But one July evening, I entered the church for a show and met Konieczny, who hosts several gigs there each year, as well as events at other local haunts, like Monday night movie screenings at the Lorain Cinematheque, with help from multimedia artist Hiatt Hernon. We started chatting, and Konieczny mentioned that Fr. Barton reads Marx and loves jazz music, which was jarring to hear, considering the conservative Catholic parish I grew up in, but also refreshing. All Church of the Redeemer shows are pay what you can, with a suggested donation that’s usually no more than $15, and there are drinks and earplugs for sale at the door, with an occasional warning before you enter the sanctuary that, “This is gonna be a loud one.” I kept going back to the church because of the unique bills, ranging from experimental music and shoegaze to folk and more, plus the even more unique atmosphere. Every time I went, I brought home transcendent memories—like Sun Organ’s performance in near-total darkness while cloaked in capes on a candlelit altar; or Kathryn Mohr’s quiet, transfixing solo set during a booming thunderstorm; or the Vyva Melinkolya show that was moved to the Lorain Cinematheque because the church lost power during a tornado, and attendees sat on the ground, couches, and
even an exercise bike, huddling together to recenter themselves through music after a hellish day. You never know what’s going to happen at one of Konieczny’s shows, whether it’s a harp played with unconventional techniques you haven’t seen before or a set that’s delayed because a musician misplaced their weed—and also
their car keys to retrieve the weed. These genre-spanning bills that mix touring acts from around the country and the world, plus interesting local artists, are sorely needed in Lorain, but are even intriguing for those who make the drive from Cleveland, as the city still gets passed over for tours on occasion—especially
experimental shows, though New Ghosts and Cleveland Uncommon Sound Project (CUSP) have made great strides in recent years. With only a dozen or so Church of the Redeemer shows under his belt, Konieczny has accomplished a lot. Among other acts, he’s hosted Leah Senior, an Australian folk singer-songwriter
Ship to Shore crew (From left, Jacob Konieczny, Sophie Popiel, Amy Melena, and Fr. Alex Barton)|Jason Shaffer
Lia Kohl and Whitney Johnson performing|Jacob Konieczny
who’s previously performed at Red Rocks Amphitheatre, which brought fans from Chicago to Lorain just for the show; Tatsuya Nakatani, the Japanese master percussionist who’s been touring since the ‘90s; and Lia Kohl with Whitney Johnson (Matchess, Winged Wheel), two of the most exciting figures of the American contemporary experimental scene.
But don’t just come for the headliners—one of my most fond memories was discovering the music of Amber Pompeii, an Oberlin-based artist who performs folky piano ballads under the name Lady of Marshes. Pompeii plunked on the church’s own piano and sung with candid poise—her songs recalling the bouncy warmth of Randy Newman. Her track “Rust” left a big impression on me because not only was it timeless, poetic songcraft, but amusingly, it was also the first time I’d heard a track that yearned for Broadway, but was not referring to the Big Apple. Instead, it was a tribute to the picturesque Lorain main street of the same name. I knew I had to learn more about Pompeii and that song, so we connected over the phone to talk about her background and the community that Church of the Redeemer is building.
“I grew up as an only child because my brother died at a young
age, and piano was a way that I learned to cope,” Pompeii said.
“Before the internet, I was really bored, and I had a piano in my bedroom, so music was just a fun way to pass the time. Then I went to Cleveland State, and there were practice rooms for music students that were open. I was a full-time C student because I skipped so many classes just sitting at the piano.”
Pompeii is currently working on an album, with production from her partner Andy Cook—who currently plays in Columbus, Ohio bands Saintseneca, Superviolet, and Mukiss—and I sincerely hope “Rust” sees the light of day. “It just feels like an anthem in my heart honestly,” Pompeii said of “Rust.” “I wrote that song while I was gardening in Lorain. I just had that little tune in my head.
It’s about Lorain, which is not actually my hometown, but I’ve always had connections to it. I lived in Vermillion when I was a kid, and my parents spent a lot of time on their little sail boat, and we left out of this dock right off the water treatment plant in Lorain. One of my best friends lived on Lake Avenue, and I spent summers there in my childhood. Lorain just feels so special to me, and the work that the Episcopal church and Solidarity Urban Farms are doing—it’s just really rewarding to work with them.”
doesn’t get a lot of support or attention, you know? I also think Jacob seems to be living with a mission in mind, so it’s easy to align with that.”
The night I saw Pompeii perform at Church of the Redeemer, she also brought out guest vocalist Jenna Smith, who happens to be the Community Outreach Coordinator for Solidarity Urban Farms—the community that surrounds this church feels deeply intertwined like few others and not just invested in the future of their city, but the spirit of that city. For eight years, Pompeii ran a brick-and-mortar tea shop in Ohio City called Cleveland Tea Revival, which garnered a loyal following, including Barton, before he was assigned to Redeemer. Since the storefront closed in 2023, Pompeii scaled back operations, but still sells organic tea blends online and rents a work space at—you guessed it—Church of the Redeemer. Pompeii even brewed tea for showgoers at one of her recent church performances.
Solidarity Urban Farms is a nonprofit co-founded by Barton and Jim Goforth, and it’s one of several outreach programs supported by Church of the Redeemer and its community members, like hygiene and emergency food pantries. It utilizes eight vacant lots around the city to grow fresh produce for locals to purchase, provides food for the church’s weekly, free meal services, and runs familyfriendly programming like art activities, games, and cookouts. Once you start unraveling this Episcopal church’s sprawling connections, it becomes clear just how important it is to the city’s well-being and sense of community. Pompeii has worked with Solidarity Urban Farms for two summers and has also volunteered for the church’s hot meal program since 2020, which is how she first met Konieczny.
“We were both volunteering for the Thursday night community meals, and when I got there, there was music playing—I think it was Fela Kuti,” Pompeii recalled. “I was like, ‘Who is in here listening to this?’ And it was Jacob in the kitchen doing dishes. Jacob and Sophie are so real and wonderful and positive and magnetic, and I just instantly wanted to be around them and work with them … It feels really unifying to be doing cool stuff together in a place that
As I went to more Church of the Redeemer shows and ran into the always amiable Konieczny again, he’d share local Jason Molina lore, enthuse about the next show he was planning, and attempt to explain what his band sounds like to a metal novice like me. But it wasn’t until I interviewed Konieczny that I got a fuller picture of what drives him. We convened at a Ship to Shore pop-up in a one-story brick building— which will soon serve as their fulltime shop location—near the dead end on W 10th Street and just a stone’s throw away from the church to talk about his upbringing, DIY ethos, and vision for Lorain.
“I lived in Lorain when there was not much for anyone to do,” Konieczny said. “My childhood was just a lot of going to the parks, which was pleasant, but there were no gathering spaces or real efficient programming or anything like that. Basically, there was a joke between people my age, growing up, that Lorain was just bars and churches.”
Konieczny’s parents weren’t musicians, but they listened to a lot of music, which left a formative imprint on him. However, Konieczny didn’t have a go-to hometown venue to further explore that interest. “There were never local shows around Lorain when I was growing up,” Konieczny said. “I was always going out to Cleveland at the Grog Shop, or Peabody’s when that was a thing.
Midwife & Nyxy Nyx performing|Jason Shaffer
It was very much something that I saw as a big-city thing—not something you could have within your own community—when I was younger.”
It wasn’t until Konieczny experienced DIY house show culture firsthand at Cleveland’s Plymouth House that something clicked for him, and he realized that it wasn’t just videos online of beloved hardcore bands performing in distant places from decades past—anyone can start a scene with like-minded people and a little know-how. A few years ago, Konieczny started a Facebook group for friends that lived all over, many of whom were musicians, and they put on a concert event in Akron called Dollarfest in 2019, which was Konieczny’s first taste of DIY show organizing. Konieczny then applied what he learned to pursue his ultimate objective of creating more live music opportunities in Lorain.
“I grew up thinking that my goal in life was to move away from Lorain and live anywhere besides here—like many other people who grew up in this town,” Konieczny said. “Once I started meeting a lot more people who actually had roots here and goals and ambitions for what the city could be, I started thinking, ‘If I did stay here, what would I want to do to be part of that?’ At the time, Fr. Alex, myself, my wife Sophie, and Amy were trying to get the foundations of Ship to Shore as a business set, and I had mentioned my desire to bring more music to the city, because for lower-production, smaller artists and people trying to make a living off of their own art, there was no space for that. I wanted to promote the art that’s local to Lorain, Elyria, Cleveland, Oberlin, whatever, but also bring touring acts to the city. One day, I was chatting with Alex about how I wanted to do these shows, but I didn’t know where we could host them. Alex just mentioned, ‘You could always use the church if you wanted to,’ so we did exactly that.”
Although there have been challenges to hosting shows in the church, like tailoring the sound to specific performers without a typical venue PA system, Konieczny now has the luxury of artists reaching out to him to book shows, due to the positive response so far and likely the majestic, one-of-a-kind setting. In fact, Konieczny almost booked the acclaimed American avant-metal band Liturgy last year, which fell through due to tour rerouting, and
though he knows it’s a stretch, he’s thought about his dream church show act. “This is probably way out of the scope and they also might break some things, but I would love it if the band Sunn O))) was ever able to play—the drone-metal giants,” Konieczny said. “I don’t know if the church walls would hold up, but that would be crazy.”
It’s heartening watching people create the things they want to see in the world, rather than be paralyzed by pessimism, and Konieczny is definitely in the former camp. He doesn’t want kids who grow up in Lorain to feel like certain experiences are only attainable in bigger cities. “I know young me would be very excited to actually have shows here, instead of begging my parents to drive me to a show and have them come along and listen to the garbage I was listening to,” Konieczny said. “A kid can potentially just walk up the road and donate five bucks and maybe get to see an artist they already like or find something new. I hope to give young folks a lot more sense of a community with what we’re doing here.”
As it turns out, that Midwife show flyer was actually the first show Konieczny hosted at Church of the Redeemer, and Holographic Throne’s first ever show, too. After Konieczny first met Johnston during Midwife’s U.S. tour with The Body and suggested she play at the church, the two forged a friendship. Over email, Johnston describes Konieczny as a “compassionate” and “very open-
minded” community builder, and she fondly remembers her Church of the Redeemer gig as one of the “best shows of the tour,” filled with candles, harpsichord, “palpable energy,” and “the push and pull of seeing something unexpected in that environment.” Johnston also empathizes with Konieczny’s mission to bring art to places off the beaten path, having grown up in Santa Fe.
“Everyone should be able to see live music!” Johnston said. “It sometimes can feel easier to make more meaningful connections in small towns, too—you get to reach a different audience. As someone who grew up outside of a major city, the touring bands who came through made a lasting impression on me and deeply shaped my trajectory. It’s cool to think that my band could hold that place in someone else’s life.”
From volunteering at Solidarity Urban Farms and prepping and cleaning at the church’s Thursday dinner service to organizing shows and working on Ship to Shore, Konieczny is invested in Lorain’s future—not to mention the house he and Popiel bought in 2023. But not everyone in Lorain shares his optimism for a solidarity-based, communityoriented way forward. “Not to generalize, because there are a lot of older folks who do come and support us and love what we’re doing, but the general consensus of older Gen X and Boomer-aged people in Lorain seems to be that this is a hopeless place that can
never have anything, so there’s no point in even trying to support,” Konieczny said. “It’s this thing of we either need to do things the way they were done 40 years ago and that will fix the city, which is something that can’t happen because the economics of the city have completely changed, or we need to stop doing anything and give up hope. But there are a lot of younger people who grew up with the people who have that mindset, and it’s either turned into a ‘get out of here if you want to make it’ mindset, or people who are very committed to actually making the city a vibrant place for people who live here or want to come here. I’m glad to be in the latter group. There are a lot more of us than people realize.”
Perhaps the most literal mark of Konieczny’s commitment to this work is the radio tower tattoo on his lower right arm, a nod to Ship to Shore’s logo. The building that houses Ship to Shore was originally a radio broadcasting terminal that communicated with ships on the lake, and more recently, it was a woodshop owned by Church of the Redeemer parishioner Everett Query. Knowing that he would retire soon, Query offered the space to the Ship to Shore team, and he also helped them renovate it, in addition to designing their logo and planning to build their sign.
“Everett is such a wonderful handyman,” Konieczny said. “We’ve all had a hand in it, but there’s been so many things that we’ve
Ship to Shore|Lizzie Manno
mentioned the idea of, and then we came back and Everett was 75 percent done with it and asking how it looked. We’ve repainted all the walls and repainted the floors as well. Some of the light fixtures got replaced, and then we—and mostly Everett—built the book shelves, as well as all the display shelves that are on casters. Plus, the main record bin was actually made from old pews that the church was getting rid of.”
Ship to Shore’s co-owners help out in all aspects of the business, but they also have clear specialties that make for the perfect team. Konieczny sources the shop’s new and used records, Popiel makes the coffee drinks (she managed a café for many years), Barton curates their book offerings (he reads an average of three to four books a week), and Melena (also the Farm and Flower Manager at Solidarity Urban Farms and a cook for the church’s community meals) takes care of the accounting, taxes, and anything numbers-related. And crucially, any extra funds generated by Ship to Shore and Church of the Redeemer shows will be funneled into the free meal program.
When Konieczny envisioned their record section, he wanted everyone to be able to find something they love, but he also wanted more far-out listeners to be satisfied as well. If you flip through the bins at Ship to Shore, you’ll find releases by everyone from Albert Ayler and King Tubby to Taylor Swift and Songs: Ohia, as well as past Church of the Redeemer performers. “Obviously, we want a sustainable business that sells records, and also I don’t want to be a snob,” Konieczny said. “Beyond that, too, I’m into a lot of weird, obscure music, so I do want that stuff to shine through as well. They’re not the big sellers, but even with these pop-ups, we’ve had people walk in and be very surprised at some of the stuff I have—stuff they didn’t think they would see on a shelf in Lorain ever. So that makes me feel happy, like ‘Yeah, I have the cool stuff, too!’”
Fr. Alex Barton also loves cool stuff, and quite unironically sees it as a manifestation of God—one of the most profound takeaways from my chat with him beside the shop’s bookshelves. Barton is entering his eighth year at Church of the Redeemer and his third year as a pastor there, but he grew up in Baltimore with an Episcopal priest father and
a spiritual director mother. “My entire family were big readers and super curious and creative people,” Barton said. “Every Christmas, we would exchange books from a very young age, and then the theology that was a part of it was always expansive, open-minded, a little bit on the intellectual side, and a little bit on the ‘How do you put it into practice in real life?’ So those things have always grounded my sense of family, self, church, and community.”
Barton lived in Cleveland for a spell before he went to seminary in New York City, and he fell in love with the area, but didn’t know much about Lorain until he was assigned there. “I think there are some things that are observable about Lorain from the very beginning that remain true,” Barton said. “It’s a post-industrial city, and there are a lot of people who have lost faith in the systems of governance and social service and are not the most hopeful … We live in a false dichotomy where a lot of angst and energy are put into things that are not solutions to actual material problems, and those material problems also are made to diminish peoples’ sense of self, where poverty becomes a moral failure, not just a systematic failure. Addiction becomes a moral failure, not just a systematic failure. I think my politics absolutely influence my ministry because I feel more confident about being present to the actual issues at hand, and not how we’re being told to view them.”
Barton holds political discussions with community members through the church’s book club, whose selections have included everything from “super church-y” reads to James Cone’s Black Theology and Black Power and Linn Marie Tonstad’s Queer Theology. Ship to Shore also fulfills Barton’s desire to have a space where people can reflect on and learn about the interconnected issues at play in their community and beyond. “There are a lot of ways to digest what’s going on in modern America,” Barton said. “We talk about institutionalized racism and classism and poorly defined understandings of the fluidity of gender—all of these social ills that are a reality and very contemporary for us—but another part of it is that we don’t have as much space in which we can also connect and carry each other through these things. So much in our life is either overtly or subtly telling us that we don’t
matter, and also overtly or subtly disempowering us from actually engaging as community members. So a huge part of my philosophy in building a church or community is to bring people together in all their complexities and give them some kind of poetics to interpret their life in a way that allows them to see that they matter.”
This philosophy also aligns with Barton’s decision to let musicians bang away at their instruments from the parish’s altar, even when resulting in a strident cacophony. “I’m just really curious and interested in how we can expand our minds, because if God is real, or whatever God may be, we believe that God is love and beauty—these things that are in everything and part of every daily life experience—so musical expression, writing, and poetry, all those things flow into that,” Barton said. “I think one of the real gifts of our tradition is, unlike a lot of Christian traditions, we’re not really afraid of secular society, and we don’t necessarily draw such a clear distinction between ‘This is church, and this is the secular world.’ Because I don’t think God would either. I feel fairly confident about that [laughs]. So worship on Sundays, this is a particular expression of church, but so too are meals on Thursdays, so too is shoegaze music on a Saturday night. They’re all expressions of church, and we really should be challenging people to find God in all of it. Personally, I don’t listen to that music [laughs]. I listen to other not-usually-found-in-church music, but I think it’s been really fun. I also think it’s really cool if we get people who would never step foot in a church to step foot in a church and maybe think this isn’t a shitty place.”
While speaking to Konieczny and Pompeii, both mentioned their hesitancy to befriend a priest, as they have their own misgivings after growing up in the Catholic Church. But now, they talk about Barton as if they’ve known him their whole lives and vice versa. When earnestly asked how he would describe Konieczny, Barton initially replied, “Well, I make fun of all his tattoos and his long hair, and the fact that he’s straightedge, even though he looks like an alcoholic biker.”
A pretty good zinger, especially coming from a young, bespectacled priest who looks like an elementary school math teacher. (I kid, I kid.) Eventually, Barton answered,
“[Konieczny] is very thoughtful and also politically to the left. He’s willing to show up for things, and I think he has a really good understanding of the complexity of people, which I think is one of the more important things for doing this type of work. We have a lot of people who have a lot going on, and they’re in different parts of processing and dealing with things, so you’ve got to have a higher level of empathy, and a higher level of seeing that is not just about me. I think he does that well, too.”
Along with the efforts of this constellation of inspiring people, there are other flickers of promise for Lorain’s art scene in establishments like the cocktail bar Speak of the Devil, which hosts DJs and musicians and has held author events through Ship to Shore, and the eclectic jazz club and selfdeclared “chill spot for the grown and sexy” Jazz on Broadway— again, not the Broadway you’re thinking of, but it is right behind Ship to Shore—as well as ambitious nonprofits like Black River Innovative Artist Residence (BRIAR) and FireFish Arts, both providing all-ages programming and opportunities for artists of many mediums.
Last summer, during the annual FireFish Festival, a mural was painted inside an intersection in the South Lorain neighborhood where Konieczny grew up, depicting the fusion of Polish, Puerto Rican, and Ukrainian cultures that brings life to that area. That colorful mural is as much a part of Lorain’s story as the shuttered steel mills and idle construction vehicles, or church pews full of black-clad punks and bunches of deep purple elderberries flourishing in a once-abandoned lot. Lorain contains multitudes, and above all, to me, it feels like warmth. I feel a rare calm when crossing over the riverfront Charles Berry Bridge, and I even broke into a perverse giggle when driving past several deer crossing signs on a one-lane road, and three cars loudly cut me off because I wasn’t speeding with a death wish. As a westsider who resides 30 miles away and an agnostic, I may be on the outside looking in, but if I’m properly applying Barton’s principle, I think God lives in Lorain.
GET OUT Everything to do in Cleveland for the next two weeks
WED 01/29
Shitshow Karaoke
Local rapper/promoter Dirty Jones and Scene’s own Manny Wallace host Shit Show Karaoke, a weekly event at the B-Side Liquor Lounge wherein patrons choose from “an unlimited selection of jams from hip-hop to hard rock,” and are encouraged to “be as bad as you want.” Fueled by drink and shot specials, it all goes down tonight at 10 p.m. Admission is free.
2785 Euclid Heights Blvd., Cleveland Heights, 216-932-1966, bsideliquorlounge.com.
THU 01/30
Cavaliers vs. Atlanta Hawks
The Atlanta Hawks have given the Cavaliers trouble this season and come away with wins on two occasions. They return to Rocket Mortgage FieldHouse to take on the Cavs tonight at 7:30. One Center Court, 216-420-2000, rocketmortgagefieldhouse.com.
Cleveland Open
This annual event that takes place through Feb. 2 at the Cleveland Racquet Club features professional tennis players vying for $100 in prize and 75 Association of Tennis Professionals tour points. Check the website for a schedule of events.
This comedian released his latest special, Present/Tense, independently on YouTube in late 2023. It became an instant hit, garnering praise from fellow comics such as Ali Wong and Marc Moran. Katz performs at 7 tonight at Hilarities, where he has shows scheduled through Saturday. 2035 East Fourth St., 216-241-7425, pickwickandfrolic.com.
FRI 01/31
Alvin Ailey American Dance Theater
The famous dance group returns to the State Theatre where it’ll perform Revelations, one of its most famous pieces, along with a selection of other dance pieces. Tonight’s performance takes place at 7:30 and performances take place at 2 and 7:30 p.m. tomorrow as well. 1519 Euclid Ave., 216-241-6000, playhousesquare.org.
The Great Big Home + Garden Show
The 10-day Great Big Home + Garden Show is back at the I-X Center through Feb. 9. It features a whopping 600 exhibits centering on how to “renew, refresh and restore” your home and garden as landscaping experts will present daily gardening seminars. Check the show’s website for hours and a complete schedule of happenings. The exhibit runs through Feb. 9.
One I-X Center Drive, 216-676-6000, ixcenter.com.
Josh Johnson: The Flowers Tour
Daily Show writer and correspondent Josh Johnson brings his the Flowers Tour to the Mimi Ohio Theatre. In one famous bit, he talks about catfishing the KKK on Craigslist and pretending to be white. Expect to hear jokes like it when he performs at 7 and 10 p.m. 1511 Euclid Ave., 216-241-6000, playhousesquare.org.
Monsters vs. Providence Bruins
The Monsters take on the Providence Bruins at 7 tonight at Rocket Mortgage FieldHouse. Since it’s a Friday night game, there will be special discounts on concessions. The two teams play again at 7 p.m. tomorrow. One Center Court, 216-420-2000, rocketmortgagefieldhouse.com.
SAT 02/01
This Pulitzer Prize-winning play that centers on family secrets and “scandalous generational trauma” comes to the Allen Theatre. Tonight’s performance takes place at 7:30, and performances continue through Feb. 23. 1407 Euclid Ave., 216-241-6000, playhousesquare.org.
Insidious: The Further You Fear
Hosted by the actual paranormal investigators who inspired the original movie from which this immersive live horror experience takes its name, Insidious: The Further You Fear will feature characters such as Bride in Black, the Wheezing Man and Red Face Demon in order to frighten the audience. Performances take place at 6 and 9 p.m. at Connor Palace. 1615 Euclid Ave., 216-241-6000, playhousesquare.org.
Music of Motown
At 7:30 tonight, the Cleveland Pops Orchestra pays tribute to the Motown record label with a concert that’ll feature music by acts such as the Temptations, the Four Tops, the Jacksons, and Earth Wind & Fire. 11001 Euclid Ave., 216-231-1111, clevelandorchestra.com.
SUN 02/02
Cavaliers vs. Dallas Mavericks
Last year, the Dallas Mavericks made it all the way to the NBA Finals. While the team hasn’t played as well this season, it should still prove to be a formidable opponent for the Cavs. The two teams play each other today at 3:30 at Rocket Mortgage FieldHouse. One Center Court, 216-420-2000, rocketmortgagefieldhouse.com.
MON 02/03
WWE Monday Night Raw
Tonight at 7:30, the popular wrestling event returns to Rocket Mortgage FieldHouse. Gunther, Seth “Freakin” Rollins, Damian Priest, Drew McIntyre, Jey Uso, Sami Zayn, the New Day and Liv Morgan are slated to tangle. One Center Court, 216-420-2000, rocketmortgagefieldhouse.com.
TUE 02/04
Cavaliers vs. Boston Celtics
Tonight at 7, the Cavs take on the second-best team in the Eastern Conference as they face the Boston Celtics. The Celtics have star power in players like Jayson Tatum, but this season,
Fat Ham
The St. Olaf Choir comes to Mandel Concert Hall. See: Monday, Feb. 10.|Courtesy of the St. Olaf Choir
the Cavs have proven to be the better team.
One Center Court, 216-420-2000, rocketmortgagefieldhouse.com.
Parade
A dramatization of the 1913 trial of Jewish American Leo Frank, this musical won a Tony for Best Revival of a Musical. It comes to Connor Palace as part of the KeyBank Broadway Series. Tonight’s performance takes place at 7:30, and performances continue through Feb. 23.
Hosted by Lenora from the internet hit-series Midnight Rental, this movie night features what it deems to be the best in VHS horror, thriller and campy classics. The event begins tonight at 8 at the Grog Shop in Cleveland Heights, and the club will feature a special movie night menu for the event.
2785 Euclid Heights Blvd., Cleveland Heights, 216-321-5588, grogshop.gs.
THU 02/06
An Evening of Storytelling and Performance with with Leslie Mandoki and Tony Carey
In 1992, Ian Anderson, Jack Bruce and Al Di Meola became founding members of Leslie Mandoki’s band project ManDoki Soulmates, and Mandoki has continued to work with Anglo-American and European rock and jazz-rock in the Mandoki Soulmates band. Tonight at 7 at the Rock Hall, Mandoki will speak about his career and perform.
1100 Rock and Roll Blvd., 216-5158444, rockhall.com.
FRI 02/07
Also Sprach Zarathustra
Conductor Thomas Guggeis leads the Cleveland Orchestra at Mandel Concert Hall as it takes on Richard Strauss’s Also sprach Zarathustra, a piece that famously served as the opening music for the sci-fi flick 2001: A Space Odyssey. The concert begins at 7:30 p.m. at Mandel Concert Hall, where performances continue tomorrow and Sunday.
Sebastian Maniscalco: It Ain’t Right Tour Sebastian Maniscalco is one of the few
comedians who can fill arenas. Expect a capacity crowd to be on hand tonight at Rocket Mortgage FieldHouse for his brand new It Ain’t Right Tour tour. Tonight’s concert begins at 7:30. 1 Center Court, 216-420-2000, rocketmortgagefieldhouse.com.
Peter and the Starcatcher
A dozen actors portray more than 100 characters in this Peter Pan prequel based on a novel by Dave Barry and Ridley Pearson. Great Lakes Theatre presents the play, and the performance takes place at 7:30 p.m. at the Hanna Theatre, where performances continue through March 2.
2067 East 14th St., 216-241-6000, playhousesquare.org.
SAT 02/08
Wine, Cheese & Chocolate, Darling!
This event will showcase over 50 different wines, and tastings will be paired with cheeses and chocolates presented by local producers. It takes place at 7 p.m. at the Akron Civic Theatre.
182 South Main St., Akron, 330-2532488, akroncivic.com.
MON 02/10
Cavaliers vs. Minnesota Timberwolves
Last year, the Minnesota Timberwolves traded for power forward Julius Randle in order to give star guard Anthony Edwards some needed help. The team has adjusted fairly well this season. It comes to Rocket Mortgage FieldHouse to take on the Cavs tonight at 7.
One Center Court, 216-420-2000, rocketmortgagefieldhouse.com.
St. Olaf Choir in Concert
One of the world’s best a cappella ensembles, the St. Olaf Choir features 75 mixed voices. The group tours the world; it arrives in Cleveland today for a performance that takes place at 7:30 p.m. at Mandel Concert Hall. 11001 Euclid Ave., 216-231-1111, clevelandorchestra.com.
TUE 02/11
Monsters vs. Rochester Americans
The Monsters play a rare weekday game tonight at Rocket Mortgage FieldHouse as they take on the Rochester Americans. The puck drops at 7. One Center Court, 216-420-2000, rocketmortgagefieldhouse.com.
GOOD RX
Bad Medicine delivers exceptional cocktails, sonic atmosphere, and dynamite bar food
By Douglas Trattner
JUST AS WE SAT DOWN AT the bar, the unmistakable opening licks of Pink Floyd’s “In the Flesh” began creeping out of the loudspeakers. As the tracks of “The Wall” bled from one to the next, it was like I was listening to the album again for the first time. A killer sound system can do that for you in ways no Bluetooth speaker ever could. Even at a relatively high decibel level, the music was rich, layered and immersive, yet never managed to stifle our conversation.
When Adam McDaniel and Bryan Tetorakis announced their plans for Bad Medicine in West Park, we knew to expect an eclectic catalogue of vinyl played through vintage Hi-Fi equipment. And given Tetorakis’ experience at groundbreaking lounges up and down the West Coast, we also knew we could bank on stellar cocktails shaken and stirred without pretention. What came as a pleasant surprise to many, I would wager, is the quality of the food, which provides a third reason to visit.
It’s easy to drive right past the bar thanks to its low-key façade on busy Lorain Avenue. From the outside, the place is as inviting as a dentist’s office – with the added allure of being surrounded by used car lots. But step inside and you’re welcomed by the warm hug of a library-like décor, but in place of novels and biographies the shelves are stocked with spirits and album spines. Two turntables are positioned on the backbar, just below a nook reserved for the “now playing” selection.
If you’ve been looking for an excuse to visit – or chart a return – now is a great time to do so. Open since September, Bad Medicine has been in its “intro” phase, to borrow a musical expression. Like any proper intro, this period set the tone for what we could
Amer Picon. Grilled pineapple adds a savory-sweet chord to an apple brandyfueled Sazerac ($15). For something a bit peppier, consider Rocket Skates ($15), a fluffy blend of beet-infused gin, pomegranate and hibiscus bitters shaken with aquafaba.
If Bad Medicine was a typical cocktail bar, guests would hit the road when hunger struck. Chef-partner Dennis Davis gives people a reason to stick around in the form of wellexecuted gastropub-style fare. I’d brave dry January for another Vatican burger ($18), a drippy and delicious double cheeseburger sporting a thin layer of fried salami. The fried chicken sandwich ($18) rivals the best in town thanks to a dark, craggy crust and horseradish aioli. The bar’s take on an Italian beef sandwich ($18) is a two-fisted beef bomb capped with crunchy giardiniera. Veg and vegans are stuck with a patty-style falafel sandwich ($15) that has some of the flavor and none of the texture of the classic form. Every sandwich comes with a large portion of dark, well-seasoned potatoes.
During my first visit I fell for the lamb and rice filled cabbage rolls. Apparently, not everybody loves lamb, so the kitchen now makes them ($14) with pork and beef. In an attempt, perhaps, to counter the effects of the fried Brussels sprouts salad ($12) showered with shaved parm and crispy croutons, Davis added a wholesome beet and arugula salad. If you’re looking for a light snack to pair with a glass of wine, the pimento cheese ($8) – here whipped cheddar topped with roasted peppers and served with a sleeve of Ritz – is the obvious choice.
expect while getting customers excited for what’s to come. In January, management unveiled a new menu – appropriately LPstyled – with new drinks and food. No earth-shattering changes here, simply an expansion and elevation of what we’ve seen.
“We wanted to offer more, we wanted to do it bigger, and we wanted to keep pushing our boundaries,” says Tetorakis. “We didn’t know what we were going to be able to do in this space and
now we know. We’re ready to take the next step.”
The cocktails are divided into three categories: House Originals, Rare and Obscure, and Made by Friends. If you’d like to taste a textbook expression of NOLA bartender Nicholas Jarrett’s Prizefighter cocktail, it’s here for the asking. For something conceived closer to home, order the Jackrabbit ($15), the bar’s riff on the Old Fashioned starring the French bitter liqueur
Thanks to the team at Bad Medicine, West Park residents no longer need to head north to Lakewood or east toward the city center for exceptional cocktails. Better still, the addition of a unique destination-worthy venture will bring outsiders in, serving as a jumping-off point for newbies to explore the neighborhood.
Courtesy Photo
Courtesy Photo
BITES
After 24 years, Lakewood's El Tango owner calls it quits
By Douglas Trattner
I
HAD TO REMIND ANTONIO
CARAFELLI how long he’s been running El Tango in Lakewood, which I reviewed for the Free Times back in 2001, soon after he opened the doors.
“I can’t even remember it’s been so long – 20 years, 30 years?” he asks me.
When Carafelli opened the place on Madison Avenue 24 years ago, it was officially called El Tango Taqueria because that’s what the place was – a taqueria. The small storefront sold tacos and burritos starring the owner’s proprietary spice blends, which he crafted from New Mexican chiles that he personally imported.
Before long, Carafelli added a small dining room, began offering more ambitious nightly specials, and changed the name to El Tango Latin Grill. If you’ve dined there over the years, you likely have experienced the cowboy hat-clad owner’s unorthodox approach to business, which is a bit more creative, hands-on and unhurried than your typical operator. When he isn’t manning the grill, Carafelli is playing guitar while playing host.
Since 2001, Carafelli has weathered storm after storm –the Great Recession, Covid, and the lingering effects thereof. But after a quarter century in the restaurant business, Carafelli –who is 80 years old – has decided to pull the plug.
“I woke up two weeks ago and said, you know what, I’m done. I’m not going to work today,” says the owner. “I just got tired of the stress.”
Among the reasons for his retirement, Carafelli ticks off the cost of goods and services, a chronic labor shortage, and an ever-shifting clientele that no longer values the product that he set out to offer all those years ago.
After announcing the closure, Carafelli stated that he was selling the contents of his restaurant. He did not anticipate the
level of interest that would follow.
“The last three days there, people have been coming in and buying everything,” he says. “I’m beside myself – I haven’t begun to wrap my head around this whole thing.”
Over the years, many customers have purchased Carafelli’s distinctive artwork, paintings that he crafts in his home studio. That’s where he will be spending most his time now, he says.
“I’m not sad at all about the whole thing. It’s fun. I’m having a blast. I’m relaxed, finally.”
Lopez 44 Opens This Week in Chagrin Falls
Since its inception in 1980, Lopez has made appearances in two separate Cleveland Heights addresses and, now, two separate locations in Chagrin Falls. The popular Mexican eatery founded by Craig Sumers and Brad Friedlander, and sustained by Michael Herschman, closed for good in 2020.
Or so we thought.
Friedlander, with partner Michael DuBois, revived the brand in late 2023, when he opened Lopez in the former Ponyboys space (506 E. Washington St.) in Chagrin Falls. After Flip Side closed its burger bar last summer, Friedlander announced that he was relocating Lopez to that prime property in the heart of the village. Now called Lopez 44 (44 N. Main St., 440-468-0310), this latest iteration of the enduring brand is on pace to open the week of January 27. (The precise date has not been announced.)
“Lopez has had several locations over the years, and we’ve continued to iterate with every new location,” Friedlander explains. “Lopez 44 is the pinnacle of everything we’ve learned and experimented with. We’re very excited to give everyone a taste of what we’ve been working on.”
The kitchen is helmed by chef Christa Barnoski, who is behind an updated “Southwestern” themed menu. Guests can look forward to dishes such as whole fried red snapper with fire-roasted pineapple salsa and white beans, braised pork with charred salsa verde, grilled skirt steak with fried potatoes and salsa verde, and smoked baby back ribs with jicama slaw and jalapeno corn bread. For dessert, there are cinnamon sugar-dusted churros served with chocolate ganache.
Pioneering Cleveland Chef and Restaurateur Hiroshi Tsuji Announces His Retirement
Many diners living in Northeast Ohio have Hiroshi Tsuji to thank for their first true taste of sushi. After graduating from the Culinary Institute of America in New York, Tsuji relocated to Cleveland and opened Shujiro on Lee Road in Cleveland Heights. When the Japanese restaurant began serving sushi in 1982, it was one of the first to do so in the region.
Tsuji went on to open Shuhei (23360 Chagrin Blvd., 216-4641720) in Beachwood in 1994, and for all the new entires into the market since then, it still is
Photo
considered one of the best sushi restaurants in town. The quiet restaurant on the lower level of a nondescript office building still packs them in for lunch and dinner most days of the week.
This week, fans of the 30-yearold restaurant were saddened to learn that Tsuji would be packing up his knives. In a letter to his friends, customers and the Beachwood community, the pioneering chef announced that he and his wife were retiring at the end of January.
“This decision comes with mixed emotions as we reflect on our incredible journey, supported by dear friends, great customers, and this fantastic community,” he said. “As we look forward to a new chapter of life in retirement, we are grateful for everything this journey has brought us. We hope to embrace the joys of a ‘normal’ retirement lifestyle, knowing that this chapter is closing with many cherished memories.”
The silver lining in this story is that Tsuji’s retirement is not the end of the line for Shuhei, as the restaurant is passing into new hands.
“We are thrilled to announce that Jennifer and Ming will take over this operation,” he adds. “With years of experience and a passion for Japanese cuisine, we are confident they will continue the tradition we’ve built together in Beachwood. Please join us in supporting them as they carry the torch into the future.”
Courtesy
OFFICIAL CLEVELAND PIEROGI WEEK LOCATIONS
ALL SAINTS PUBLIC HOUSE
allsaintspublichouse.com • (216) 675-0028
1261 W 76th St., Cleveland, OH 44102
PAPRIKASH PIEROGI
3 potato and 3-cheese pierogi, boiled and pan sautéed with butter. Served on a bed of our famous house made paprikash gravy. Topped off with sour cream and fresh chives. Add Ons: paprikash roasted chicken thighs- $7, Smoked all beef kielbasa- $6, Cheddar bratwurst- $7, Hungarian bratwurst- $7.
AROUND THE CORNER
SALOON & CAFE
atccafe.com • (216) 521-4413
18616 Detroit Ave., Lakewood, OH 44107
POTATO AND CHEESE PIEROGI
3 Potato and cheese pierogi, served with sautéed onions, and a side of sour cream. Pierogi Plate: Sautéed pierogi served over homemade kraut, topped w/sauteed onions & a side of sour cream.
AVIATOR EVENT CENTER & PUB
aviatorpubcle.com •(216) 770-5300
20920 Brookpark Road
PIEROGIES & KIELBASA
Local potato and cheese pierogi, caramelized onion, grilled kielbasa, pickled red cabbage, sour cream & chives.
BANTER BEER AND WINE
bantercleveland.com •(216) 777-9965 3441 Tuttle Rd. Shaker Heights, OH 44122
CHICKEN PAPRIKASH PIEROGIES
Three cheese and potato pierogies topped with house-made chicken paprikash and sour cream.
WILD MUSHROOM PIEROGIES
Three cheese and potato pierogies topped with confit wild mushrooms, almond truffle cream, and scallions.
DESSERT PIEROGIES
Three sweet cheese pierogies deep fried and tossed in cinnamon sugar. Topped with house-made whipped cream and apple compote.
Three Sophie’s Natural pierogi, topped with Chorizo, onions, peppers, jalapeños, cheese sauce, and sour cream.
KOREAN PIEROGI
Three of Sophie’s Natural pierogi topped with Korean BBQ sauce, homemade Kimchi, scallions, and sesame seeds.
HOT BUTTER CHICKEN PIEROGI
Three of Sophie’s Natural pierogi topped with pretzel-crusted chicken, tossed in house-made Nashville hot butter, pickles, a ranch drizzle, and served with a side of chili hot sauce.
GUNSELMAN’S TAVERN
gunselmans.com• (216) 771-4404
21490 Lorain Road, Fairview Park, OH 44126
PIEROGI LADY POTATO & CHEESE PIEROGI
The original, the classic, the benchmark. Potato & Cheese pierogi. Made by The Pierogi Lady herself and served with sour cream and sautéed onions, just like tradition dictates.
KIELBASA & KRAUT PIEROGI
Experience a taste of home with Kielbasa & Kraut Pierogi. Handcrafted by The Pierogi Lady herself, this pierogi features savory kielbasa & tangy sauerkraut then topped with sautéed onions and J&J Czuchraj kielbasa medallions from the West Side Market. And for the perfect Cleveland touch? A side of Cleveland Mustard, of course! Support local and savor the flavor! *3 Pierogi and an MGB beer for $13
A Cleveland Classic, mashed potatoes with sharp cheddar. SMOKED GOUDA BACON
TONY K’S BAR AND GRILLE tonyks.com• (330) 690-2120
841 W Bagley Rd., Berea, OH 44017
TACO PIEROGI
Filled with seasoned ground beef, diced tomatoes, onion, and cheese. Topped with diced tomatoes, taco cheese and shredded lettuce.. Served with salsa, sour cream and taco sauce.
THREE CHEESE SPINACH AND MUSHROOM
Filled with spinach, mushrooms and cheese. Served with alfredo sauce.
WEST END TAVERN
westendtav.com• (216) 521-7684 18514 Detroit Ave., Lakewood, OH 44107
TRADITIONAL POTATO PIEROGI- 5 FOR $8.00
Five traditional potato pierogi topped with a mushroom spinach la crème alfredo sauce. Add $5: Sliced Chicken Thigh or Sliced Steak Round topped with mushroom spinach alfredo.
3 Cabbage, corned beef & mashed potato pierogi, topped with sauerkraut. Served with horseradish cream. CLASSIC PIEROGI PLATTER
3 Potato & cheddar pierogi, topped with caramelized onions. Served with sour cream and apple sauce.
PERLA PIEROGIES
perlahd.com • 216-741-9222
5380 State Road Parma OH 44134
PERLA PIEROGIES POTATO AND CHEDDAR
Potato and Cheddar Pierogies Pan Fried Served with
Cream and Onions
MUSIC
STILL METAL AFTER ALL THESE YEARS
Slayer guitarist Kerry King forges his own musical identity with solo debut
By Jeff Niesel
GUITARIST
KERRY KING’S FATHER gave him three choices when he was growing up.
“Playing guitar was one, and I think karate was one,” Kerry King, 60, says via phone from his New York home where he was rehearsing for the tour that brings him to House of Blues on Friday, Jan. 31. “To this day, I can’t remember what the third one was. I saw a guitar sitting there in the corner, and I thought, ‘You know what, that guitar isn’t going to hit me back. Let’s go that route.’”
It proved to be the right decision. King initially gravitated toward the hard rock sounds of acts such as Motor City Madman Ted Nugent, who was “everywhere on rock radio,” and then to the more technical style of Eddie Van Halen, who “changed everything,” as he puts it. Randy Rhoads and Tony Iommi became influences.
King would then famously found the thrash metal group Slayer when he was only 17 and put out his first album with the band when was only 19. King, who now has a successful solo career, says his songwriting skills were pretty primitive at that point. But his ability to write and play continued to develop as Slayer released its magnum opus, 1986’s Reign in Blood, and then followed it with 1988’s South of Heaven and 1990’s Seasons in the Abyss
“That’s when we solidified what we were going to sound like forever,” he says. “I knew that when Slayer started catching on, it was going to be around for a while. But my perspective of time and age was very different then than it is now. I was 26 when Seasons in the Abyss came out, and if you told me then that I’d be playing guitar when I was 45 in a popular band still tour-
ing the world, I would have said, ‘No way.’ Here I am, a young 60 starting out in a new career. Your perspective changes.”
Slayer had a remarkable run before bringing things to a close dramatically with a farewell world tour in 2019 (the band would reunite to play a couple of festivals in 2024).
After all those years of playing with Slayer, King launched his solo career last year with the release of From Hell I Rise. To cut the tunes and to play them live, he assembled a band of heavy metal all-stars, including Death Angel singer Mark Osegueda, Vio-lence/Machine Head guitarist Phil Demmel, Hellyeah bassist Kyle Sanders and Slayer/Testament/Forbidden/ Exodus drummer Paul Bostaph.
“At the end of the day — and I thought through all my trials and tribulations of 40 years on the scene — I wanted this band from Day One to be my fucking friends, and I wanted no head trips and no divas,” says King. “Any of these guys can play the shit out of their instruments and Mark [Osegueda] can sing his ass off. Luckily, I have friends who are are at the top of their game, and they are all my first
choices. I’m a very lucky individual.”
As he began to cull material for From Hell I Rise, he dug into his archive of unreleased material to see if he had anything he could use.
“There is stuff I used on this album that was left over from Slayer,” he says. “I remember working on ‘Residues’ with [drummer] Paul [Bostaph] the first time he was in the band. It just took 20 years to finish. I’m glad I have the wherewithal to know when a song isn’t finished yet. I’m particularly happy that version made it on the record because it’s better than it has been for the past 20 years.”
Other songs emerged as King tried to find ways to pass time during the pandemic.
“I was trying to make the best of the downtime,” he says. “’Rage’ was one of the last ones I finished. Paul [Bostaph] and I were both hung up in a Hollywood hotel with COVID. Mine was very short, but my whole MO was ‘I’m stuck here, and I should finish shit.’ I finished the last two songs for Hell I Rise during that time. ‘Rage’ has some feelings of isolation, but I wrote most of it at the beginning of the pandemic.”
“Trophies of the Tyrant,” a song driven by a meaty guitar riff, finds Osegueda barking his vocals with authority as he addresses the Ukrainian war.
“It’s not so pinpointed close to home,” says King of the tune. “It’s definitely influenced by the war in the Ukraine, but it has some fantasy parts too. I didn’t want it to be a bummer for the Ukrainians, so I streamlined it a bit. I have actually never played there. [Slayer] were booked there about four times, and it just didn’t happen. We played Moscow three or four times, but I think that’s never gonna happen again.”
Now 60, King says his passion for metal remains strong, and he has no desire to retire anytime soon.
“Despite my age, I still feel the kid in me,” he says. “I want to write that riff that people want to hear. I want to hear it myself. I’m highly motivated in that respect I’ve got another record in my sights and another record after that too. At that point, we’ll sit on top of whatever hill we’re on and check out the terrain and see where we’re going.” jniesel@clevescene.com t@jniesel
Kerry King and his hard rocking band.|Jim Louvau
LIVEWIRE Real music in the real world
THU 01/30
Bertha: Grateful Drag
A Nashville-based group that claims to be the world’s first draq Grateful Dead tribute band formed two years ago to fight the anti trans and LGBTQ laws being passed in Tennessee and around the country. Tonight at 8 at the Beachland Ballroom, the band makes its Cleveland debut. The concert serves as a benefit for Trans Ohio, and local drag queen Dr. Lady J will host the affair.
The reggae/ska/punk band brings its tour in support of its new album, Lyrics Over Everything, to the Beachland Ballroom tonight for the start of a two-night residency. The show begins at 7:30, and Joey Harkum and Derek McBryde open. Joint Operation and TobyRaps open tomorrow’s show. 15711 Waterloo Rd., 216-383-1124, beachlandballroom.com.
Joe Grushecky & the Houserockers
The Pittsburgh-based singer-guitarist became a regional sensation in the 1970s and 1980s and continues to regularly tour and record. He counts Bruce Springsteen as one of his biggest fans. He plays at 8 p.m. at the Music Box Supper Club.
1148 Main Ave., 216-242-1250, musicboxcle.com.
Mourning [A] BLKstar 10th Anniversary Concert
The ambitious local band that draws from noise, funk, indie rock and jazz celebrates its tenth anniversary with this special show at the Grog Shop in Cleveland Heights. The concert begins at 8:30 p.m.
2785 Euclid Heights Blvd., Cleveland Heights, 216-321-5588, grogshop.gs.
SAT 02/01
The Backfires
Formed in 2018, when singer Alex Gomez left New York to study in London and met guitarist Harry Ruprecht and drummer Max Wanduragala. The three of them then returned to the states in 2022 and recruited bassist Matt Walter before they recorded their debut EP, Consider
The drag Grateful Dead tribute act Bertha: Grateful Drag makes its Cleveland debut. See: Thursday, Jan. 30.|Courtesy of
the Backfires. Songs like the mid-tempo rocker “The Man” have a Måneskinmeets-the Strokes vibe. The group comes to Mahall’s in Lakewood, where it performs at 7 p.m. 13200 Madison Ave., Lakewood, 216-5213280, mahalls20lanes.com.
SUN 02/02
Marty Friedman
This guitar hero who famously played in the thrash metal band Megadeth from 1990 to 2000 will bring his full
Japanese band to the Winchester tonight as part of a tour supporting his new album, Drama. Guitarists Nikki Stringfield and Patrick Kennison will open the show with an acoustic set.
The ZZ Top guitarist plays a solo show at House of Blues. His foot-stomping new single, “Livin’ It Up Down in Texas,” has a ZZ Top feel to it thanks to his husky voice and the gritty guitarist. His backing band includes Rock Hall of Famer Chris “Whipper” Layton and Austin’s Mike “The Drifter” Flanigin. Doors open at 7 p.m. 308 Euclid Ave., 216-523-2583, houseofblues.com.
Shotgun Bowl 3
The local hard rock Olathia headlines this multi-band metal bill that features Doctor Smoke, Cyadine, the Great Iron Snake, Kurnugia, Tundra, Radiatrix and Sabon. Doors open at 1 p.m. at the Beachland Ballroom and Tavern. Bands will play on both of the club’s stages. 15711 Waterloo Rd., 216-383-1124, beachlandballroom.com.
TUE 02/04
Matt Pond PA
Singer-songwriter Matt Pond’s first show in Cleveland was at the Beachland Ballroom, where he opened for the indie pop group the New Pornographers. Pond returns to the Beachland Tavern tonight at 8 in support of his new album, The Ballad of Natural Lines. Two of his bandmates are from Ohio, and Pond makes sure to include Cleveland on his tour routes. Anya Marina and Bathtub Cig open. 15711 Waterloo Rd., 216-383-1124, beachlandballroom.com.
WED 02/05
Tim Heidecker
Musician, comedian, actor, podcast host, producer and family man brings his band, simply called the Very Good Band, to the Beachland Ballroom tonight as part of a tour in support of his new album, Slipping Away. Released last year, Slipping Away embraces alt-country as Heidecker adopts a droll manner of singing on twangy tunes such as “Well’s Running Dry” and “Dad of the Year.” The show begins at 8 p.m., and comedian Neil Hamburger opens. 15711 Waterloo Rd., 216-383-1124, beachlandballroom. com.
THU 02/06
Chuck Prophet and His Cumbia Shoes
Singer-guitarist Chuck Prophet brings His Cumbia Shoes, a band that features two members of the Salinas, CA-based cumbia band ¿Qiensave? along with
Prophet’s long-time band, the Mission Express, to the Beachland Ballroom in support of the recently released Wake the Dead 15711 Waterloo Rd., 216-3831124, beachlandballroom.com.
FRI 02/07
An Evening with Acoustic Hot Tuna Jorma Kaukonen and Jack Casady have kept this blues rock group going strong for more than 50 years. Tonight at 6:30, the band plays a special acoustic show at the Kent Stage. 175 E. Main St., Kent, 330-677-5005, kentstage.org.
Mania: The ABBA Tribute
Each month seems to bring with it another tribute to the influential Swedish pop act ABBA. Tonight at 7:30, Mania swings into town to perform ABBA songs at MGM Northfield Park — Center Stage. 10705 Northfield Rd., Northfield, 330-908-7793, mgmnorthfieldpark. mgmresorts.com/en.html.
SAT 02/08
Parliament Funkadelic Funkmeister George Clinton and his band Parliament Funkadelic come to MGM Northfield Park — Center Stage today on what Clinton’s calling his final tour. The concert begins at 7:30 p.m. 10705 Northfield Rd., Northfield, 330-908-7793, mgmnorthfieldpark. mgmresorts.com/en.html.
WJCU Blizzard Bash
Ziggy D of C-Level, Esther Fitz, JT’s Sparks Trio, Mr. Carnivore perform at this show that serves as a benefit for the Hunger Network of Cleveland Ohio. The concert begins at 8 p.m. at the Beachland Tavern. A $10 donation is suggested as the cover charge. 15711 Waterloo Rd., 216-383-1124, beachlandballroom.com.
TUE 02/11
Travis Singer Fran Healy’s experiences living in Los Angeles inspired the new album, an “in-depth exploration of displacement and finding oneself in a new environment.” The single “L.A. Times” is a dreamy tune with a quiet intensity thanks to understated guitars and swirling synths. Coldplay’s Chris Martin and the Killers’ Brandon Flowers guest on the album. Doors open at 7 p.m. Agora Theatre, 5000 Euclid Ave., 216881-2221, agoracleveland.com. scene@clevescene.com
SAVAGE LOVE
THE COUNTERFEIT
By Dan Savage
I am a 30-year-old cishet woman from the Pacific Northwest. I am reaching out today about faking orgasms. I have been dating this guy for about six months and he is perfect. I love everything about him and part of that is I feel like we have great sex. The caveat is that I have never had an orgasm during sex with him and consistently fake them. I have always had a very challenging time achieving orgasm with partners, whether male or female. As it turns out, thing he loves most about sex is when his partner starts getting loud right before or during her orgasm. He doesn’t just love it: it turns out that it is almost always the thing that makes him come. So, I started faking orgasms when we first started dating and hoped that things would change as we got to know each other’s bodies. Now, six months later, I’m still not having orgasms — which again, is not unusual for me during partnered sex — but I want him to enjoy sex with me, so I’ve kept faking it. Even the few times where I haven’t faked it, he can still cum, but he really ruminates on it. It’s very clear that he doesn’t have as much fun, which, for me, spoils the whole experience. I want to be clear that having an orgasm isn’t the goal for myself during sex. What I love about sex is the physical intimacy, feeling close to my partner, and providing pleasure to someone I deeply care about. That’s why I feel like I still intensely enjoy sex with him, despite the faking. However, as our relationship progresses, the lie is weighing on me. I can see myself marrying this guy, but I just can’t get past the question: Am I going to be faking orgasms for forty years? That seems like a horrid betrayal of him. What do I do? How do I unravel this?
Future About Keeping Everything Real
There are two things I want you to do, FAKER: First, go see Babygirl — alone — and then watch some gay porn with your boyfriend.
Zooming out for a second…
I’ve advised partnered women who wanted to stop faking orgasms to start faking something else: getting close. After a few months of getting fake close instead of fake there, a woman can say this to her boyfriend or husband: “Something changed with my body when I hit [insert current age] and it’s made my orgasms harder to achieve — it even happens when I try on my own — so it looks like we’re going to have to experiment with some new things to get me there!”
That’s a lie — obviously — but it’s a defensible one. Now, let the record show that I believe “I’ve been faking it” is something a man should be able to hear without falling apart. I also believe straight men should be able to wrap their heads around why women might fake an orgasm with new partners and then feel obligated to keep faking orgasms. (I also think men should admit that we would fake orgasms if we could.) So, while lies are generally bad, I would argue that there’s a difference between a wholly self-serving lie meant to deceive and a partly self-serving lie meant to spare. Some men do feel humiliated — some men feel betrayed — when they’re told (or they discover) that their partners have been faking orgasms, and if
a small lie (“my orgasms have gotten more elusive”) helps a woman back a bigger lie (months or years of faked orgasms) without hurting her partner’s feelings, I will allow it.
But your issue is a little different, FAKER, since your partner sulks when you don’t fake an orgasm — and thinking you’re there helps him get there — which puts you under additional pressure to keep faking it.
Reading your letter made me think of Romy, the powerful CEO played by Nicole Kidman in Babygirl (Anyone who thinks sharing a couple of details from the first two minutes of a movie that’s been out for months — and has been widely discussed everywhere — constitutes a “spoiler” should skip the rest of this response.) The film opens on Romy (Kidman) having sex with her husband Jacob (Antonio Banderas). It looks like Romy is having an orgasm — it looks Romy and Jacob are coming at the same time (that happens a lot in movies) — but then we see Romy slip down the hall and into her home office, where she gets herself off while watching porn. The real orgasm we see Romy have by herself (primal, grunting, animalistic) looks and sounds nothing like the fake orgasm we just watched Romy perform for her husband. Later in the film, Jacob is devastated to learn Romy has been faking orgasms the entire time they’ve been together; that revelation does almost as much damage to their marriage as the affair with her hot male intern.
I think seeing Babygirl — alone — will inspire you to level with your boyfriend now, FAKER, instead of waiting until you’ve been together (and faking it) for twenty years.
As for your boyfriend’s issue — he has a hard time coming unless he thinks you’re coming and sulks if you don’t — you need to google “copulatory vocalizations,” share a few articles with your boyfriend, and then sit down to watch some gay porn together.
Copulatory vocalizations are the noises female primates tend to make during sex; sometimes female primates make these sounds — sometimes they howl — because they’re climaxing, sometimes female primates make these sounds because they’re trying to attract other mates, and sometimes female primates make these sounds because hearing them pushes male primates over the edge. (Sometimes it’s all of the above.)
What your boyfriend needs — what’s already working for him — is not your orgasms, FAKER, it’s your copulatory vocalizations. And this is where gay porn comes in.
Now, I’ve encouraged opposite-sex couples who wanna have simultaneous orgasms during PIV to watch gay porn and pay close attention to what the bottoms are doing in scenes where the top and bottom come at the same time: the bottoms are stroking themselves and communicating — verbally and nonverbally — with their tops as their orgasms approach. So, straight men who want their girlfriends or wives to come at the same time they do during PIV need to stimulate their partners’ clits and/or encourage their partners to stimulate their own clits during PIV. (And any straight man who won’t stimulate his partner’s clit and/or discourages his partner from stimulating her own clit isn’t interested in his partner coming.)
But what I want you and your partner to watch for are scenes where the top comes but the bottom doesn’t. If watching gay PIB turns you off — there are a lot of closeups and anal isn’t for everybody — you can close your eyes and listen, FAKER, because it’s actually what you’re gonna hear that’s important: bottoms getting loud and staying loud even when they
don’t come. There’s nothing the least bit insincere about their copulatory vocalizations, i.e. the sounds gay bottoms make when they’re getting fucked. And you can see (if you open your eyes) that the sounds gay bottoms make when they’re getting fucked help push the men fucking them over the edge. And they’re not faking it, FAKER, they’re loving it. (In case you live in a red state where Republicans have made online porn harder to access, I transcribed a short gay porn clip for you: Top: “Your ass feels so good!” Bottom: “Your cock feels so good! Fuck me, daddy! Oh, my God! Yes! YES! Fuuuuuuuck! Fuck me! Come in me, daddy! UH! UH! UHHHH! FUCK, YEAH! YES! YES!”)
Like the power bottoms in gay porn, FAKER, you should be able moan and groan and shout encouragement to your boyfriend without having to pretend you’re coming when you’re not. The only way to avoid having to fake orgasms for the next forty years is by getting your boyfriend to understand that your copulatory vocalizations — even in the absence of an orgasm — are signals of your sexual pleasure and (sigh) his sexual prowess. If straight men can wrap their heads around why women sometimes fake orgasms (and they can wrap their heads around it), your boyfriend should be able to wrap his head around the fact that you’re already giving him everything he needs in the runup to his orgasm; even if he can’t make you come during PIV, he can make you howl.
And that — your copulatory vocalizations — aren’t nothing, FAKER, and it sure beats being lied to and/or having to lie every time you have sex.
P.S. I shouldn’t say men can’t fake orgasms, as some men have faked orgasms. But we’re less likely to, less likely to need to, and less likely to get away with it when we try (an empty condom/hole is a bit of a tell.)
I’m a middle-aged gay man who has been out twenty years. I have an awesome boyfriend with whom I have an open relationship. Supportive parents and family. Now, a couple months ago, a gay mate of mine messages me on Grindr asking if I’m in town because he saw seen [sic] my profile online. I say no because I’m about 1500 miles away but then my friend sends me another message telling me someone is apparently using my pic on Grindr to catfish and he sends me a screen shot of the Grindr account. It’s not a picture of me. It’s a picture of my twin brother, who is married to woman and has three kids. He’s always been incredibly supportive, just like you imagine a twin would be, but we’ve never talked about him being bi or gay, so this was a bit of a surprise for me, even if it’s an easy leap based on how supportive he’s been of me.
So, given that he hasn’t said anything to me, I’m wondering what to do. Is he cheating on his wife? Is he gay? Is his marriage a sham? Is he bi and only out to his wife and has her consent to meet up with guys? Do I ask him what’s going on? If he’s not ready to tell me — and we share a lot — then how do I support him? He clearly knows I’m fine with his sexuality but knowing and not saying anything is proving hard since I can’t unknow it! What should I do here?
Outing Unwitting Twin Sibling
I’m gonna take your questions — you packed a lot of them into that last paragraph — one at a time:
1. Is your brother cheating on his wife? He could be!
2. Is your brother gay? He could be!
3. Is your brother’s marriage a sham? It could be!
4. Is your brother bi? He could be!
5. Does your brother have his wife’s consent to
fuck around with other guys? He could!
6. Do you ask your brother what’s going on? You should!
If you and your brother were estranged, OUTS, or if your brother was a ranting, raving homophobe and you had cause to fear a violent reaction, I would advise you against asking the dread direct question. But seeing as you two have a good relationship, and seeing as we aren’t required to internalize or mirror other people’s shame about being gay (it’s a question, not an insult), I think you should tell your brother a friend spotted him on Grindr and ask him what’s up.
Zooming out for a second: Posting face pics on Grindr is a little like walking into a gay bar. Guys who are already in the bar are gonna think you’re gay when they see you walk in. And since we can’t know before walking in whether guys we know from school or work or the womb we once shared (!!!) are already in there, to walk into a gay bar is to out yourself. Same goes for posting face pics to Grindr: If someone you know from school or work or womb (!!!) sees your face pics on Grindr, he’s gonna think you’re gay or bi or one of those straight men into dick but not dudes.
The fact that you and your brother share the exact same DNA — and hence the exact same face — gives you more grounds to ask the dread direct question. I’m guessing it’s not a problem when your face appears on Grindr, as you’re in an open relationship and presumably allowed to post face (and other) pics to hookup apps, but the gay world is small. It was inevitable that someone you knew would see your brother’s photos on Grindr and assume they were yours and it would get back to you. If your brother didn’t know that before he uploaded photos of the face you share to Grindr, he’s about to find out.
P.S. This could still be a catfishing situation — someone could’ve swiped photos of your brother off his social media accounts — but Occam’s razor slices toward your brother getting on Grindr for the same reason the friend who spotted him was on Grindr: for the dick. It’s also possible your brother came out to his wife as bisexual after they married — it’s possible he didn’t realize he was bi until after they married — and his wife agreed to him hooking up with other guys on the condition that no one else (you included) would know their marriage wasn’t monogamous. Or your brother and his wife could be in one of those “lavender marriages” that Gen Z — frustrated with modern dating and modern housing prices — are bringing back into style. Anything is possible.
P.P.S. There are straight men on Grindr looking for trans women who haven’t had bottom surgery; those guys are into dick but not dude. There are a smaller number of straight men on Grindr looking for trans men who haven’t had bottom surgery; those guys are into pussy and willing to overlook dude. So, not all guys on Grindr are gay or bisexual. Straight men on Grindr can be problematic — it’s not okay to fetishize the bodies of trans women or mentally disassemble the bodies of trans men — but they’re still straight. Or so I’m told.
Got problems? Yes, you do! Email your question for the column to mailbox@savage.love!
Or record your question for the Savage Lovecast at savage.love/askdan!
