LONELY CHRISTMAS: A FAMILY EVENT CELEBRATED ALONE

Lonely Christmas A Family Event Celebrated Alone How social isolation and loneliness affect the most vulnerable

From buying gifts for loved ones and decorating the tree, to planning and preparing a festive dinner, Christmas is commonly known as an event celebrated with family in a warm and welcoming environment. Coming together and the joy of receiving unexpected presents, creates excitement and is looked forward to by many.

38 However, not all of us celebrate Christmas in a loving surrounding. “Christmas is a bitter-sweet time of the year. Most people who have family, are busy and yet there are people sitting there that don’t have anybody for Christmas dinner,” stated Deborah Castello, Fundraising Manager of Friends of the Elderly.

Though this is a serious issue faced by many in our society, especially this time of the year, elderly living in isolation are the ones affected the most, but are also least able to deal with it.

Friends of the Elderly is an Irish volunteer-based charity providing support to elderly people living alone or feeling lonely. Since their

establishment in 1980, they have been non-funded and are fully reliant on donations. With the support of 150 volunteers, they have brought friendship and companionship to up to 500 members last year.

It is estimated that about 400,000 people in Ireland suffer from loneliness, according to The Irish Longitudinal Study on Ageing (TILDA). Additionally, it has been reported that more than 37% of people aged 50 and over felt lonely often or some of the time. Concerning elderlies aged 74 and older, this figure rose significantly to 45%.

Often older people living in isolation face days without a single human encounter, especially when their mobility vanishes. “Some of the only communication they would have would be through the sound of their television” explained Castello.

Being left alone and therefore living in isolation, can be the result of various different circumstances. Castello described that, “one of the reasons could be that they never married, or widowhood. Family relationships can be very difficult and for whatev

er reason children move on and parents are left behind. Or even people who never had a family.”

Since the feeling of loneliness can occur based on different motives and affect people of all age groups, “there is no distinction of people being lonelier in rural areas than urban area, that is a myth” said Deborah.

“Some of the only communication they would have would be through the sound of their television”

Photographs by Rubina Freiberg ‘Two lovely ladies enjoying good conversation and having fun’

Reaching out to the whole nation, Friends of the Elderly offers a friendly call service. Volunteers take time to call members at least once a week to have a chat or simply listen. Last year a total of 25,480 calls to elders were recorded. “The way I see it is, we put 25.480 smiles on peoples’ faces” believes Costello. She added that, “what gets me the most is when you hear ‘yes, I know it is your birthday, that is why I am ringing, to wish you a happy birthday.”

Additionally, members have the opportunity to be visited by a volunteer on a regular basis. Time can then be spent together doing various things, such as outings for coffee, cinema visits, walks or shopping. In 2018 volunteers accomplished a magnificent total of 5.096 visits to the elderly within the Greater Dublin region.

“Generally, what you find is that the relationship starts as member and volunteer, but very quickly becomes a very good friendship. We hear our volunteers saying that I am actually getting more out of this than I am giving,” stated Deborah.

Every Wednesday members come together on Bolton Street for a social club. They enjoy themselves having their afternoon tea, chatting, singing and dancing along to the music played by the resident band.

Program Manager Rachel shared a member’s story with me: “He sings some songs in our residential band, and he got to know a lady that comes in on a weekly basis and they became friends and then got into a relationship with each other. Now they come together every week and she sits at the front and admires him singing.”

Rachel added that, “every Wednesday I go back home with a smile on my face because you see so many people that did not know each other interacting and having a purpose in life now.”

Friends of the Elderly have three Christmas parties arranged this year. Fundraising Manager Debo

rah believes, “whilst the parties take only 3 hours, it is the buildup to the party, choosing the clothes, maybe getting their hair done. It is the excitement. It is really important; this could be the only social occasion but more importantly it might be the only time to have a Christmas dinner.”

By Rubina Freiberg

‘Part of the resident band playing for the elders on Bolton Street’

To support ‘Friends of the Elderly’ alleviating isolation and loneliness among older people, please donate here:

https://friendsoftheelderly.ie/donate-now/ or get in touch: +353 (0)1 873 1855 ; 25 Bolton Street, Dublin 1

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