I Was A Grinnell College Vampire

Iwas struck and killed while crossing 8th Avenue from Noyce to the JRC. It was a campus safety van that did it, which was so funny I wasn’t even mad at them for it. Apparently I was dead by the time the ambulance got there. All I can remember is being glad I wouldn’t have to take my chemistry exam that Friday.

π

Now it is dark outside, the moon is big and white and round, and I am walking back towards campus from Casey’s. The one on 6th Avenue by Dari Barn—I like the pizza there better than at the one on the west side of town, or the one on West Street, or even the one down by I-80, though that one’s much too far to walk to. There’s a drunk girl stumbling up High Street. As I get closer I realize she must be a first year—she looks like a baby. What year was I? I realize now that I can’t remember. Anyway, she’s wearing a cute miniskirt and a tank top, and I am very aware of the way inebriation has brought the warm blood close to the surface of her skin. I don’t drink blood. I promise. I do, however, eat Casey’s pizza like a monster. I always order a large Meat Galore—pepperoni, beef, ham, and sausage—all for myself. One slice at a time, I peel the cheese and toppings off and roll them into a greasy, rubbery ball in my hand. Then I lick up the red sauce off the crust until it’s clean and damp with my saliva. Then I eat the ball of cheese and meat, and then finally the plain bread, before moving onto the next slice, until all twelve are gone. As I said—like a monster. The first year stands on the curb, hesitant to cross the street. After a few moments I reach her and pause. “Do you want me to walk you home?” I say. “Do you go here?” she asks. “Yeah.” I go where I please, mostly. A big semi truck thunders past us, a ghost in the darkness. “Then sure.” She steps off the curb, stumbles, and grabs my arm. I help her cross the street. I am always very careful crossing the street. As soon as she steps onto the grass on the other side she shivers. “You’re freezing.” “Sorry.” I shove my hands into the pocket of my hoodie. “Where do you live?” “Norris. I bet that’s way out of your way.” I shrug. “It’s no trouble. I was just out walking.” We start north. “My roommate was with me but she went home with some guy,” she complains. “How inconsiderate.” “I’d be more pissed if I didn’t do the same thing to her last week. But she was less drunk than I am right now.” 8th Avenue is deserted, but I still look both ways before crossing. Once that danger is over with it is only a sense of completionism that makes me continue. “Anyway,” she says. “What’s your major?” I can say anything. I will never see her again. “Gender studies,” I say. She snorts. “What are you going to do with that after you graduate?” “I’ll figure something out,” I say. “What are you majoring in?” “I have no idea.” “So you might be a gender studies major.”

“Absolutely not.” At the door of Norris she spends long enough digging in her purse for her P-card that I swipe mine and hold the door open for her. “Thanks,” she says. “Will you come up with me? I live on the fourth floor so I totally get it if not but I don’t trust myself to work my key.” “Alright,” I say. She gestures me up the stairs in front of her. Most parts of death do not bother me, but I don’t like the way my legs are still cold even after three flights of stairs. It unsettles me. Even a robot would generate heat by exertion. She has found her P-card by now and works the key into her door lock, but whines as she jiggles it. “It’s stuck. Can you do it?” I turn the key in the lock, knowing that I cannot enter, and the door swings open. I can’t go anywhere unless I’m invited. Maybe that’s part of why I like Casey’s so much. It’s always welcoming, always so warm and bright. She sighs in relief. “Drink water,” I advise as I stand aside for her to get into her room. “I will,” she says. “Thank you for not harassing me.” In the bright light of the hallway, I smile with my lips tightly closed over my teeth. “Anytime.” She closes the door, and I slip back downstairs, out of Norris, and into the night. Having come this far already I round the building, stopping on the sidewalk looking out at 10th Avenue. You see, I do know one cool magic trick. Look: there I am, standing on the sidewalk. A campus safety van lumbers along the street, going west, and for a moment it is in front of me, and I am hidden behind it. And then, when it passes, I am gone.