GROWING BOLDER WITH

Growing Bolder With

Susan Winter, 67

Susan Winter never set out to be a relationship expert, yet life has a way of nudging us in certain directions. Beginning her career as an opera singer, shifting to business communications, becoming a spokesperson for Fortune 500 companies, then television host on the Financial News Network, Winter has had a front row seat to the intricacies of human behavior.

It served her well in many aspects of life and was something she really needed as she found herself aging and alone. Something just didn’t make sense to her. The way she saw it, her experiences had made her more dynamic in every way. So, why didn’t prospective partners see that? She was smarter, more secure and compassionate and that’s what she wanted in return.

“I think a lot of women have found themselves in the same situation,” she said. “And finding someone to be with isn’t easy.” Single and searching, she was left to wonder, why should age make a difference? Why should she limit the playing field instead of expanding it? Her quest to find out why led to her first book, Older Women, Younger Men, which became an international bestseller.

“It's one of the biggest challenges faced by older women,” she said. “It’s an epidemic of loneliness. For many, divorce and death have ended lifelong relationships leaving us lost, confused and wondering what to do.”

Winter says finding great relationships can be overwhelming. “So, they just give up on love,” she said. “They start to believe they’re too old, or they don’t want to start over, or they’re fine with what they have, but by giving up on romance they limit their quality of life.”

“To live to the fullest, we need meaningful connections with others. We need that spark, those butterflies, the sense of connection, companionship and belonging that can only come from great relationships.”

“Do we set unrealistic standards as we get older? I mean, do we? You know what? It is tough to get out there and to meet people,” she says. “Then you finally find somebody you can tolerate, and the next thing you know, you've given it all your attention and focus only to realize it's not the right person. And you feel like, well, this isn't for me. I'm never going through this again.”

Winter believes great relationships are worth working for, and finding them takes planning, effort and intent. The search for love is a process which requires the determination to push past inevitable disappointments and along the way helps develop an important quality.

“I think resilience is something we all need in every aspect of our lives,” she said. “Aging comes with some serious challenges. We all deal with health issues, financial issues, and so many uncertainties. We must believe in ourselves to move forward. So, I'm a big advocate for getting the ring. Get out there, be active, try to find love if you want to. And, if you don't want to date, and you’ve made an intentional choice, don't let anybody make you feel guilty about it.

“As people retire and move into their golden years it is common to suffer a loss of identity,” she said. “So, staying connected to people, passions, and things you love become the things that keep you alive. We all need to have a mission, a purpose, a feeling that we’re needed, that we're wanted. These factors ignite the vital life force within us all at any age and isn’t that what we all want?”