Growing Bolder Digital Digest | January 2023: Spirituality

Spirituality

Exploring the Vision of a Beloved Community

– C.S. Lewis

WITH MARC MIDDLETON

PRESENTED BY

We’re all told that that aging is an inevitable decline into disease and disability. Fountain of Youth®, a podcast from Growing Bolder in partnership with the National Senior Games and Humana, smashes negative stereotypes and delivers an inspirational message that transforms lives.

Hosted by world record-setting masters athlete, Emmy Award-winning broadcaster, and Growing Bolder CEO Marc Middleton, Fountain of Youth shares the secrets to happy, healthy, and active aging through the stories of ordinary people living extraordinary lives; men and women of all ages, sizes and abilities who are redefining what’s possible for all.

Photos by Mike

HEALTH

YOUR TAKE

What book changed your perspective on something?

"

—Chris S.

"It may sound weird, but The Missing Piece Meets the Big O by Shel Silverstein. I read it in my 20s before I gave it to my niece. The concept of being a complete, whole person broken down in a children's book. It really changed my outlook on relationships."

Jenni D.

"

Tuesdays with Morrie, it's a meaningful true story featuring a man named Morrie who had an indomitable spirit. He was, and remains for me, an inspiration."

— Kimberly S.

"

The Purpose Driven Life by Rick Warren"

Nancy J. M.

"

"The Bible changed all my beliefs."

Evelyn L.

You Can Heal Your Life by Louise Hay."

Carla A.

Illustration by Olga Strelnikova via Getty Images

The Shell Seekers by Rosemund Pilcher."

From the CEO

Why Can’t We All Get Along?

As we enter a new year, we’re all aware that our country seems more divided than ever. There’s an “us vs. them” mentality that makes it difficult for most, and impossible for many, to have honest and open conversations about important subjects.

Political polarization, fueled by social media echo chambers, is a major cause of this division and yet, a large body of research has proven that diversity creates more successful workplaces and more vibrant communities.

Why can’t we all get along? How can we find the common ground that should unite us all? We thought a good place to start might be a conversation with religious leaders.

We invited a Reverend, an Imam, a Rabbi, and a Buddhist teacher to the Growing Bolder offices for an interfaith roundtable to discuss the issues that are causing this division. We weren’t naive enough to think that we’d come up with any easy answers, but we were determined to ask some difficult questions. We wondered if organized religion is partly to blame given that all religions have their own version of the Golden Rule. All religions hold as fundamental belief the importance of compassion, kindness, and love for your neighbor and yet we live in a world in which religion has become something that divides us.

Why does it seem that hate is winning? They all agree that some members of all faiths interpret doctrine in ways that differ from the fundamental tenets of their religion. They all agree that organized religion needs some degree of transformation to remain relevant in today’s world. The growing number of religious “nones” — individuals who no longer identify with any particular religious tradition — underscores their concerns. According to PEW research, 30% of the U.S. population is now religiously unaffiliated, up from just 7% in 1972. Most of these “nones” maintain a sense of connection to something larger than themselves, but no longer follow an institutionalized set of beliefs and practices. They left the religion but kept the faith.

What can we do as individuals to help civility overcome the hostility that is dividing families and alienating friends? What can organized religion do to help create the beloved community that Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. envisioned more than 50 years ago?

You’ll learn more about our revealing conversation with faith leaders in this issue of the Growing Bolder Digital Digest. And you can watch the entire roundtable on Growing Bolder.com/roundtable.

Here’s to a happy, healthy, and more unified New Year.

“All religions hold as fundamental belief the importance of compassion, kindness, and love for your neighbor.”

Photo by Mike Dunn for Growing Bolder

Hosted by award-winning broadcaster Marc Middleton, What’s Next! features a team of well-known Florida broadcasters and personalities, including Secily Wilson, Amy Sweezey, and Bill Shafer, all shining the spotlight on ordinary people living extraordinary lives.

What’s Next! is a jolt of inspiration that helps audiences of all ages believe that it’s never too late to pursue their passions and make a difference in their communities.

Watch all episodes at GrowingBolder.com/tv

Mary Lee Downey

Mary Lee Downey always believed she could make a difference. From her small-town beginnings in rural Arkansas, she had big-time desires to do what she could to help correct injustices and stand up for those in need. But even she was not prepared for what she saw in the Central Florida town of Kissimmee, hidden in the shadow of Walt Disney World. People trapped by poverty and homelessness in dilapidated hotels, with no way forward and no hope for their future. So, she chose to try to make a difference.

Downey founded The Hope Partnership. More than just another charitable organization, this one is focused on getting to the root of the real problem by searching for evidence-based solutions.

“We believe the best way to help is to figure out why someone is homeless,” she says. “Is it lack of education, the need for a better job, finding the right place to live? If we can define the barriers, we feel we can help overcome them.”

Poverty and homelessness are complex issues. Downey believes temporary relief isn’t the answer.

“We know we will never end homelessness, so we have a different approach,” she explains. “How can we make it a brief, one-time only experience? If we have the right services in place, we can quickly step in to deal with the real issues so they can put homelessness behind them and move forward.”

Hers is a holistic approach to problem solving which she believes is inspired by her religion.

“I’m a pastor, so faith plays a big role in my decisionmaking,” says Downey. “It tells me that all of us have experienced pain, lived in fear, or suffered a trauma. God gives us all the compassion to understand and the heart to help others heal.”

Downey believes many of us care but few of us realize how much of a difference we can make.

“It is easier when you realize it is not your job to fix anything,” she says. “But it is your job to respond. You don’t need to know any of the answers, you just need to realize that together we have a better chance of finding them.”

She never expected this to be her life, but she says what she has learned about poverty and homelessness from the struggles of so many individuals has been profound.

“The human experience is the same for us all,” says Downey. “And when we are willing to truly connect with those who are suffering, we will change the world.”

She points out how many people are searching for a purpose. She believes the answer lies right before us.

“Serve someone besides yourself,” says Downey. “That’s where everything starts. Get outside of your personal wants and needs. Before you know it, you will affect change; in your community, in your relationships, and in yourself. You will see a difference.”

“A danger is we can all be overwhelmed with compassion fatigue because we want immediate results. But there is no quick fix to poverty and homelessness.”

ORDINARY PEOPLE LIVING EXTRAORDINARY LIVES ®

Pat Hayes 77

Pat Hayes knew she was doing the right thing, but that didn’t do much to calm her fears. Her dream kept driving her, yet there were so many obstacles to overcome. Still, the need for a not-for-profit mental health organization, especially in one of the largest retirement communities in the country, was undeniable.

“All of us who live in The Villages are at an age where bad things happen,” she explained. “There just weren’t enough psychiatrists, psychologists, or psychotherapists and I knew in my heart that I was being called to start something.”

What she wanted to start was unique, equal parts obvious and brilliant. Why not, she thought, call upon the many social workers, counselors, psychologists and therapists who retire to The Villages, Florida and ask them to volunteer their services, at no cost, to those who need it?

Many who could benefit from mental health counseling never seek it. One of the barriers is the stigma of being broken, needing emotional support. Another is not being able to afford it. Hayes’ plan was to offer it at no cost. There was just one big problem.

“The challenge of securing funding seemed insurmountable,” she said. “I asked God if I should give up and I prayed about it. Soon after, I was put in touch with the United Way. They stepped right up to help, and TLC Services was off and running!”

Transition Life Consultants Services offers educational programs, group therapy, and individual counseling for those struggling with loneliness, grief, depression and more. TLC served 3,000 people last year and with more exposure, and more volunteers, they hope to reach even more.

“Too many of us neglect our emotional health, especially as we age,” said Hayes. “Yet, most of us in The Villages have moved from where we lived for decades. We’ve left family, friends and careers behind. At worst it can be traumatic and at best it is a major adjustment. Seeking emotional support is not a sign of weakness, it is a sign of intelligence. TLC Services makes it possible to reach out in an informal, affordable way.”

Hayes’ organization is being looked at as a blueprint that can be followed in retirement communities everywhere.

“It is a program that can be replicated," said Hayes. "You know, if I wasn’t 77 years old, I would be out there replicating it everywhere I could. It can be a game changer in the field of mental health.”

More than anything she wants people to know there is always hope. “There are so many people who need a little help, and many wonderful volunteers with a desire to offer it,” she said. “My hope is that TLC Services can be the bridge to make that connection.”

“I don’t preach God, but I am a God person, and I know that if it wasn’t for a series of divine interventions that seemed to take place one after another there is no way that our organization could ever have come to be!”

Turn the Page On a New Year

January is the perfect month to set your intentions for growth in the new year. One of the best ways to broaden your horizons and start your path to a bolder life is by picking up a few good books. Whether you are looking to focus on your own spirituality, work on your mental health, or just gain a more positive outlook on life, try to add time for reading in your 2023 routine. Here are a few favorites from the Growing Bolder team:

Book Suggestions From The Team at Growing

Bolder

Greenlights by Matthew McConaughey

Greenlights is a memoir based on over 35 years of journal entries in which McConaughey extracts wisdom from the many ups and downs in his life. Greenlights are the moments when the Universe encourages us to move forward. Yellow and red lights are the obstacles we all face that encourage us to pause, slow down, or stop. Life, says McConaughey, is about knowing when to persist, pivot or concede. Greenlights is raw and it's real. It will inspire you, make you laugh, and occasionally say, WTF?! If you can, get the audio book because McConaughey reads it himself delivering a piece of performance art that burnishes his reputation as the great outlaw philosopher.

Marc Ceo

Power of the Witch: The Earth, the Moon and the Magical Path to Enlightenment

by Laurie Cabot with Tom Cowan

This edition of the Growing Bolder Digital Digest is filled with articles relating to spirituality, highlighted by our interfaith roundtable of leaders from the communities of Judaism, Christianity, Islam and Buddhism. But spirituality extends far beyond the boundaries of what many call “conventional” religion.

For those looking to enhance their view of the world and understanding of others, try reading Power of the Witch. It’s written by a practicing witch, Laurie Cabot, in an effort to educate others about the widely misunderstood religion of Wicca. She reviews the longstanding history of magicmakers and spiritual leaders while explaining the ways that the Earth and all living things share the same life force of Divine Intelligence.

Katie Creative

The Coffee Bean: A Simple Lesson to Create Positive Change by Jon Gordon and Damon West

This short read holds wisdom that vastly outweighs the number of its pages. The Coffee Bean tells a tale of a man who learns to not only cope with the stresses of daily challenges, but also how to impact the world around him with an infectious positive outlook on life. In short, the difficulties of life can seem like a pot of boiling water. Most people either react like a carrot, which weakens inside the pot of water, or react like an egg, which hardens. Instead, Gordon and West encourage us to react like a coffee bean, which has the power to transform the entire pot and create something magical.

Tim Production

Creative Quest by Questlove Questlove, a musician but more so a relentless learner, shares his own quest to constantly create something new. Through his own stories and stories of people he admires like Ava DuVernay, David Byrne, Björk and more, he inspires us to be our most creative at whatever each of our individual “thing” is.

Jess Marketing

One Small Step Can Change Your Life: The Kaizen Way by Robert Maurer, Ph. D

This small, 228-page book reminds us that big changes can begin with small actions. The Japanese word kaizen means “change for the better,” and was first utilized by Japanese business, and then Toyota, as a means of increasing productivity. Mauer outlines simple steps to use the principles in our personal lives, to move beyond fear and procrastination, and continually improve. Whatever your intentions or goals are for 2023, this is a great aid to get you started.

Lynne Production

FROM THE GB BOOKSTORE:

Growing Bolder: Defy the Cult of Youth, Live with Passion and Purpose by Marc Middleton

“I have a book to recommend that will change your life!” It’s called Growing Bolder: Defy the Cult of Youth, Live with Passion and Purpose by Marc Middleton. I know, but I’m totally serious! This book will put the wind in your sails that you need to chart a course to great adventures ahead. You’ll be hanging on every word because Marc explains how the future you want is within your reach by making just a few interesting adjustments to your attitude, outlook and desires. Let Growing Bolder light the path to the life you hope to lead. Here’s to making 2023 our best year yet!”

Bill Production

CHECK OUT MORE BOOK RECOMMENDATIONS AT GROWINGBOLDER.COM/BOOKSTORE

Kava: An Alcohol Alternative

Amy Sweezey

ANNA MARTEL

Meeting at a bar or pub is the common go-to for unwinding with colleagues or socializing with friends. But sometimes the noise can drown out genuine connection and the alcohol can stifle real, memorable conversation.

Central Florida resident Anna Martel was one who grew tired of the bar scene in her 30s. She craved authentic relationships and an escape from what she called “the social charade.” She envisioned a space for business professionals like herself to socialize without the noise that comes with alcohol.

Around that time Martel was introduced to kava tea and it was “love at first taste.” With its earthy flavor and relaxing effects, along with a lack of hangover, Martel began to consider kava as a healthier replacement for alcohol.

For years people have searched for an alternative to booze. Drinking less alcohol is especially popular in January, as many make New Year’s resolutions to lead healthier lives.

Kava tea has become a popular choice to pick instead of an alcoholic cocktail. It’s a drink made from a pepper plant native to the South Pacific Islands known to relieve stress and reduce anxiety.

Since the early 2000s kava bars have been popping up in the U.S. The ground-up root has actually been used as a ceremonial drink for thousands of years and is traditionally served hot or cold in a shell or bowl.

“It feels like you’ve had one glass of wine where it hits that sweet spot and everything just kind of melts,” Martel explained. “It gets you there, but it doesn’t get you any further. There’s no hangover. It’s really fantastic.”

Martel enjoyed the kava experience so much that in 2021 she transitioned from a wedding planner and interior designer to a business entrepreneur and kava bar owner by opening Zenva in Winter Park, Florida. Zenva is an upscale kava bar and contemporary art gallery also serving coffee, kombucha, and specialty mocktails made with kava or z-tea. (Z-tea is a member of the coffee family from Southeast Asia that can act as a natural immune booster and anti-inflammatory).

“There’s such a need for the kava bar because there’s really nothing in between the bar scene and a coffee shop,” said Martel. “If you don’t go out drinking, there’s nowhere to go to get dressed up and socialize. Everyone wants an experience and kava bars give an experience.”

When Martel changed careers later in life, many people warned her. She had two small children and was recently divorced.

“A lot of people like safety, but I like the edge,” said Martel. “I never felt like I was making a mistake. When I got the idea for this space, I had a feeling like this was my purpose. This is what I was put on this earth to do.

“I feel fantastic about my choice. I have encouraged my girls to do the brave thing that sets your world on fire. I hope to be an example for them of doing that and not getting stuck in a safe space.”

Since she opened Zenva, Martel has noticed how deep the conversations have been between patrons.

“There is such a sense of community,” she said. “We live in a busy world. Everything is go, go, go. Connection is really lacking. Zenva is a place where you can find yourself and be centered, but also find connection.”

Although Martel’s original intention was to create a hot spot for young professionals, she quickly realized kava drew people of all ages.

“That’s one of the coolest things we have built here,” said Martel. “Everybody really co-mingles together. There are business deals happening. There are college kids studying. There are older adults. This space has really meshed all age groups within a safe community.”

“I got divorced when my kids were young and my world got flipped upside down. I didn’t fully understand the trauma that happens within a divorce. That’s when I took a break from drinking and stepped back and decided to just figure out who I was exactly.”

Looking to make a healthy New Year’s resolution? Consider drinking less alcohol and giving kava a try for a healthier buzz. It can help to calm the mind and reduce anxiety and stress. Using our premium instant kava powder, you can make teas, coffee, mocktails and more right at home! Try out one of our favorites for your first experience: the iced kava chai tea. It’s a simple yet delicious first step into a new world of buzz without the booze!

After wanting to take a step back from the alcohol-driven social scene, Anna Martel was introduced to Kava. As an entrepreneur with artistic passion and a spirit for healing, Anna had a vision to create an exquisite space where people could come together to be real. She created Zenva to be the escape from the social charade.

Anna Martel

Photos courtesy of Ryan Beck

“Science is not only compatible with spirituality; it is a profound source of spirituality.”

— Carl Sagan

Photo by Javier Zayas Photography via Getty Images

Playing Through

103-Year-Old Fills His Soul with the Game of Golf

There may not be a sport more closely associated with spirituality than the game of golf. It may be because it’s played outside in nature’s fresh air, often in peace and quiet, surrounded by stunning landscapes.

While some use the game as a time for self-reflection and a long, quiet walk in greenspace, others say it’s the best way to connect with people, often spending hours with friends far away from the hustle and bustle of daily life and distractions of phones and TVs. For 103-year-old Lindsay Tise, the game has offered him both. He’s been able to connect with his son through golf and find a sense of individual purpose that keeps him going every day.

Family In The Fairway

On a calm, quiet Monday morning in South Florida, Tise took to the first tee at the National Senior Games alongside three other competitors. He had made headlines all week long, as the oldest competitor at the entire event full of more than 12,000 senior athletes.

Without even taking a practice swing, Tise lined up and striped his first drive down the center of the fairway.

With that first swing, Tise had already secured a gold medal, since he was the only golfer in the 100+ age category. However, the 103-year-old said the experience was about more than receiving another award because it gave him a chance to socialize.

“I just enjoy playing. I enjoy being out with other people and being out in the open,” Tise explained while admiring the course surrounding him.

As he hopped in his cart to head down the first fairway, Tise was not alone. Riding right alongside him was his son Tim.

“We don’t get together that often, so we’ve made the last four National Senior Games ‘our thing,’” Tim Tise, 67, said. “It’s made us a lot closer. It’s wonderful to have him out here. He is an inspiration to all of us.”

“It’s a nice feeling to have him along with me. He’s just a super son,” Lindsay Tise beamed. “That’s about the most important way we are connected, on the golf course.”

While Tim serves as his unofficial caddie and riding partner, he admits his dad doesn’t always want to heed his advice.

“Several times I teased him about just going up and

hitting the ball so fast, saying ‘You might want to look at it and think about it a little bit first,’ but he just wants to have fun. Sometimes his better shots are when he doesn’t even think about it,” Tim laughed.

Age Is Just A Number

For most amateur golfers, shooting a score lower than their age would be a memorable once-in-a-lifetime achievement. But not for 103-year-old Tise. He’s been driven by the feat, a pursuit that has filled his soul with pride. In fact, he says he’s lost count of how many times he has shot a score lower than his age because he does it so frequently.

“Most every time I play, I shoot better than my age, and I’m 103! I usually shoot around 100. I’m proud that I’m able to do that,” Tise told Growing Bolder.

This centenarian can say he’s better than half of all golfers worldwide, regardless of age. According to the National Golf Federation, less than 50% of all golfers are able to break 100, and only 26% can score in the 90s. Of course, younger golfers tend to play from tee boxes of a further length, but it doesn’t stop others from marveling at Tise’s ability.

“I feel honored to be the oldest one still playing,” Tise said. “I hope I do [set an example for others.]”

A Rock Star of Aging

Tise is a centenarian who is providing a blueprint for how to live a longer, healthier life. He plays golf at least once per week. He works out at the Wake Forest University gym three times a week, participating in group weight circles, weight resistance exercises and more.

At 103 years old, Tise still lives alone and is proud of his independence. He still drives his trusty Cadillac, even making trips of over 500 miles to see his family in Georgia.“It’s real important to me to drive because I live alone, and that’s the only way I’d ever get around,” Tise said.

The North Carolina native points to his relationship with the game of golf as the key to his longevity and happiness ahead.

“I think it’s helped to keep me going and has helped to keep me healthy,” Tise said. “It’s the exercise, and I’m mentally sharp for 103.

“As long as I can hold a stick, I don’t plan on quitting.”

Falls: Common. Costly. Preventable.

Introducing the Growing Bolder Balance Program.

There are a few no-brainers when it comes to aging and preventing falls is one of them. Falls are the leading cause of injury-related death among adults aged 65 and older in the United States. According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), more than 37 million adults 65+ suffer preventable falls every year resulting in over 3,000,000 injuries, 800,000 hospitalizations, and 37,000 deaths.

→ 1 in 4 adults 65+ fall every year

→ 1 in 5 falls cause serious injury

→ More than 95% of hip fractures are caused by falling

→ 40% of adults who suffer a hip fracture end up in a nursing home, 20% are never able to walk again, and 33% die within 12 months

→ Falls are the most common cause of traumatic brain injuries (TBI)

→ 60% of all falls happen in the home

→ Treating injuries caused by falls will cost over $100 billion by 2030

Even the prospect of falling extracts a devastating toll on quality of life. Most older adults, fearing a fall, limit their activities and social engagements. This can lead to physical decline, social isolation, and depression.

Unfortunately, almost all balance and falls prevention programs are geared exclusively toward the elderly. These are important and necessary programs but are about 2 decades too late for many.

At Growing Bolder, we believe balance and falls prevention should be a regular part of every adult’s health and fitness routine. It should begin before we need it so that balance, and the strength associated with it, is an asset that we carry into our older years. That’s why we’re starting the Growing Bolder Balance Program. This is a work in progress, but it begins in this issue with several balance exercises demonstrated by fitness expert and certified personal trainer Trish Chard Walsh. These are exercises that anyone can quickly and easily do at home without any special equipment.

Falls, and their devastating consequences, are common, costly, and preventable. That’s why beginning a balance program before you think you need it is one of Growing Bolder’s aging no-brainers.

Photos by Mike Dunn for Growing Bolder

Standing Leg Raise

→ Find a kitchen counter or chair or other stable surface to balance on.

→ Stand with your feet shoulder width apart, nice and flat, with both hands on the counter, or a stable surface.

→ Raise your leg up with your knee bent, and hold that for 5 to 10 seconds.

→

If you can try and not hold on, that's obviously going to test your balance a little bit more.

→

If you can't get to 10 seconds, start out with 3 to 5 seconds.

→ Lower that leg and repeat on the other side.

Suggested Frequency: 3 to 5 times a week.

Bird Dog

This is a great exercise for balance because it’s helping to strengthen your core.

→ Get on your hands and knees on the floor.

→ Begin by raising one leg, and then you're going to raise the opposite arm out in the front.

→ Hold that pose for about 3 to 5 seconds, then lower both back to the mat, and repeat on the other side.

→ Engage your core while you're doing this by pulling your belly button in towards your spine.

Suggested Frequency: 10 reps on each side, 3 times a week

Side Leg Raise

→ Find a stable surface, such as a kitchen counter or table and stand with your feet shoulder width, with both hands on that stable surface to help keep you balanced.

→ Lift your leg out to the side, hold for 3 to 5 seconds and then lower that leg.

→ Repeat on the same side for a total of 5 reps on each leg.

Suggested Frequency: 3 to 5 times a week

Body Weight Squat

Balance training and strength training go hand in hand with each other, and strong legs are crucial for good balance.

→ Start with your feet shoulder width apart, standing up nice and tall.

→ Lower your legs until your thighs are parallel to the floor while raising your arms out in front of you.

→ Rise back up.

→ Squat back down, pause, then stand back up.

Suggested Frequency: 10 reps, 3 times a week

Kettlebell Exchange

This exercise improves your balance by strengthening your quadriceps, because you’re also using your core as well. If you don’t have a kettlebell, you can use a water bottle, a soup can or anything at home.

→ Place the kettlebell in both hands and stand with your feet shoulder width apart.

→ Move the kettlebell to one hand, place one foot in front, then slide your other foot back, so you're just balanced on your toes.

→ Exchange the kettlebell back and forth between your hands, all while trying to stay stable on that front leg.

→ Make 5 to 10 exchanges, then stand back up and repeat with the opposite foot forward.

Suggested Frequency: 3 times a week

Photos by Mike Dunn for Growing Bolder

Navigating the Yes/No Paradox

One of the most important skills to develop as we age is the ability to say, “Yes!” One of the most important skills to develop as we age is the ability to say, “No!”

That’s the yes/no paradox. Learning to say yes invites people, possibility, and opportunity into our lives. Learning to say no ensures that we’re focusing on the people, possibilities, and opportunities that align with our values.

Saying yes helps build and maintain relationships, leads to lifelong learning, and overall well-being. It’s the surest way to discovering our passions and purpose. But saying yes too often or to the wrong things quickly results in becoming over-committed, over-extended and overwhelmed. Saying no enables us, and not others, to manage our time and energy.

Saying yes keeps us socially engaged while saying no will help ensure that those we engage with bring value to our lives. In other words, it’s important that we pick our friends wisely. Entrepreneur and author Jim Rohn famously said that we’re the average of the five people with whom we spend the most time. Passion, enthusiasm, and optimism are the contagious cornerstones of health and wellbeing making it important that we say yes to those who share our enthusiasm for life and learn to say no to those who are pessimistic, inactive, and unhealthy.

Saying yes is a by-product of curiosity, which may be the single most important trait that’s shared by successful people. Colleagues of Virgin Group founder Sir Richard Branson refer to him as “Dr. Yes.” Branson believes in the power of yes because “opportunity favors the bold — a lesson that I learned early on and have used to guide the Virgin story.”

Saying yes means risking failure and embarrassment but to be afraid to fail is to be afraid to live. A key to embracing the power of yes is developing a beginner’s mindset which is open to new ideas and understands that failure is nothing more than feedback. We learn and grow by trying, failing, and persisting. Those who eventually become good at something are simply those who were OK with being bad at it for a while. If we can’t deal with failure, we’ll never know success.

Yes or no is a never-ending choice that we all make throughout our lives. Understanding the potential impact of that choice is an important life skill. Steve Jobs once said, “Remembering that I’ll be dead soon is the most important tool I’ve ever encountered to help me make the big choices in life.” Our time here is

limited. Yes and no are the gatekeepers that guard our time, energy, and focus.

It’s important to not just say yes to new experiences but also to accepting help and support from others. That means saying no to ourselves when our abilities don’t match our desires. Amy O’Rourke, the host of Growing Bolder’s Art of Caregiving series, says the number one reason people get institutionalized is pride. “Not accepting help when you need it will cause you to become institutionalized because you drive too long, climb ladders for too long, or live alone for too long. We need to admit when we need help because pride can result in a major injury or setback that leads to institutionalization.”

Saying yes creates space for selfexpression. Saying no creates space for self-care. The challenge is to find a balance between the two that opens doors without creating chaos, and that allows for the magic of serendipity while minimizing the prospect of misfortune.

Instead of imagining the worst that might happen, imagine the best. Instead of asking, why? Ask yourself why not?

Going Inward to Reach Outward

Have you ever felt stuck and then found a sense of freedom in handing over your woes to a higher power?

A personal sense of spirituality is an individual matter. Religious beliefs may provide grounding and faith, but the inner world you choose to create with your spirit is wholly yours. And yet, when we do cultivate it — planting seeds and tending it like one would a garden — we tend to find that it helps us to feel we are not alone.

This sense of connection to others is key to our mental health, which in turn affects our physical health. It may seem counterintuitive that by going inward, we are better able to reach out, but we’ve seen it over and over with our clients and in our own lives. The more robust of a spiritual life you can create for yourself, the more fulfilled you will feel in your relationships, which will lead to a more profound sense of happiness.

It may also seem paradoxical to suggest that we let go of our ego at the same time we focus on our personal sense of spirituality, but the two things are not mutually exclusive. They actually go hand in hand.

By identifying what truly makes your individual heart sing and providing those inputs — be they dance, song, art, nature, food — you give yourself the ability to care less about measures of judgment or specific fears and to instead rise above. If you take the time to create your own miracles by building up your inner spirituality, you’ll feel freer to approach life leading with love.

You do not have to be good. You do not have to walk on your knees for a hundred miles through the desert repenting.

You only have to let the soft animal of your body love what it loves.

Tell me about despair, yours, and I will tell you mine.

Meanwhile the world goes on.

Meanwhile the sun and the clear pebbles of the rain are moving across the landscapes, over the prairies and the deep trees, the mountains and the rivers.

Meanwhile the wild geese, high in the clean blue air, are heading home again.

Whoever you are, no matter how lonely, the world offers itself to your imagination, calls to you like the wild geese, harsh and exciting over and over announcing your place in the family of things.

Growing Bolder contributors Doro Bush Koch and Tricia Reilly Koch are sisters-in-law who founded the wellness company BB&R, Bright, Bold and Real over a decade and a half ago with a very clear goal: to share with others what they’ve learned about mindfulness and holistic living with the intention that everyone begin to live their best life. Learn more about their retreats, workshops, courses and popular Health Gig podcast at bbrconsulting.us

Photo by

Doro Bush Koch and Tricia Reilly Koch

“Wild Geese” by Mary Oliver

Photo by Flashpop via Getty Images

Exploring the Vision of a Beloved Community

Highlights from Growing Bolder’s Interfaith Spiritual Roundtable

Why can’t we accept and love one another? Will we ever create a beloved community? Or will hate win out?

We aren’t naïve enough to think that one interview, video or article can answer these questions, but because we are Growing Bolder, we feel it’s important to ask them. And since most organized religions have their own version of a golden rule, we gathered four different faith leaders as part of an interfaith spiritual roundtable, facilitated by Growing Bolder founder and CEO Marc Middleton. You can view the entire conversation at GrowingBolder.com/roundtable.

We began with one simple concept. All religions at their core preach love thy neighbor. Why are we not getting that message? Is it the message, the messengers or the audience?

“Well, let’s start, with the idea that we have corrupted the word religious in our society,” said Rabbi Steven Engel. “We used to think that it was from someone by the way they

behaved, by the way they acted — in a compassionate and just way. But we have now assigned being religious to how often you attend church or synagogue or mosque, how many rituals you perform, and that has completely corrupted the idea of what being a religious person is.”

“I think somewhere along the line we stopped having major conversations, dialogue and everything,” Rev. Katrina Jenkins added. “I think at some point things stopped and it kind of became an ‘us’ versus ‘them’, instead of all of us getting together and learning about each other and really trying to have those deep discussions. We’re not going to sing kumbaya all the time, but we can come to some kind of consensus and appreciation for each other…it just seems like there’s been more of that divide.”

It might be easy to blame that divide on the different interpretations of what is true; yet the religious leaders say the problem actually lies

in our inability to acknowledge and accept that it is all interpretation. The need for resolution versus the acceptance of mystery.

“The problem is when one thinks that they know the exact answer and they have the sense that they’re speaking for God, like ‘I’m saying what God said and now you have to listen to me.’ It’s an act of arrogance,” said Engel.

“We say the multiplicity of interpretations is a blessing,” Imam Muhammad Musri said of the Islamic perspective. “It’s a mercy from God because we are all different. We need to understand and customize our understanding based on our time and place and situation and context.

“What happened in our time is the access to scripture became public. With the internet, everybody can directly read for themselves and interpret, without going to seminary, without studying. They just search for a word, pick a verse and say, that’s what God said. And that’s it.”

Photos by Mike Dunn for Growing Bolder

For Buddhist teacher Peter Carlson, a major problem of our time is the double edged sword that media wields. “On the one hand we have more opportunities to communicate now than ever before, worldwide. On the other hand, some particular aspects of our culture have usurped that, and made conflict and power to be more important than community,” said Carlson. “We’re all better off than we have been in the past, but this issue of the contentiousness really presents a significant obstacle to us moving forward as a culture.”

In recent years that contentiousness has spread into the arena of politics. As dean of religious and spiritual life at Rollins, Rev. Jenkins is charged with supporting students, faculty, and staff of varied faiths and beliefs. The expanse of this mission was never more apparent than following the 2016 election.

“I had those who were upset about Trump being voted in and those who loved Trump. So, there was that space, there was that space where I had to sit, and I listened to all these sides come in,” Jenkins said.

It’s Jenkins’ goal to foster spiritual awareness as part of Rollins College’s mission of creating global citizens. Among other duties, she oversees the college’s “Table Manners” program: roundtable discussions on religion, politics, and other taboo topics, designed for attendees to better grasp other points of view in a respectful and safe environment.

“I do it one conversation at a time,” she said. “It might sound pollyannish or what have you. If I can change one or two student’s minds, to have them be able to be more open with people, then that’s something that I try to do.

“What I have told people when they come into my office, as long as they don’t disrespect me as a person, African American female, and as long as they’re respectful, I’m willing to listen even though it’s hard for me. I always listen to things that go against my belief system,” said Jenkins.

Statistics indicate that traditional brick and mortar houses of worship are losing numbers and surveys show a growing number of individuals self-identify as “spiritual” instead of “religious.” While that may cause concern for viability of traditional religious communities, the Imam sees it as an evolutionary trend that provides hope for the future.

“I think the current generation and the next, they’re redefining what has been for centuries,” Musri said. “Now there is one global community and it’s growing in number and young people are seeing how similar they are, their needs, their wants. The challenge of climate change is drawing them together to understand that this is going to force them to work together across the globe. And we see that when it comes to their definition of religion and or spirituality, they have also a lot more in common.

“I’m very hopeful that what emerges will be a global culture

respects every human regardless of race, color, religion, and it’s going to translate to a more peaceful world, much more than the 20th century and before.”

Spiritual practices such as prayer and meditation are more common now outside of religious groups and settings, benefiting a wider range of participants, with the potential for positive

DR. MARTIN LUTHER KING, JR. from “The Role of the Church in Facing the Nation's Chief Moral Dilemma,” 1957

that

But the end is reconciliation; the end is redemption; the end is the creation of the beloved community. It is this type of spirit and this type of love that can transform opposers into friends. It is an overflowing love which seeks nothing in return. It is the love of God working in the lives of men. This is the love that may well be the salvation of our civilization.

ripples worldwide, the leaders say. The commitment to listen, to expand our awareness of other faiths and points of view was something that all four agreed is vital for change.

“If there was one thing that I would wish for all the faith traditions of the world, it’s to find a way to emphasize how important it is to train the mind with meditation,” said Carlson. “I meditate twice a day, a couple hours a day, and it’s been very powerful for me. What makes my life hopeful is that potential, that training the mind and the heart to be kinder and more truly adaptive to the changing demands of the way the world is today.”

For real change, we have to dispel the premise that there must be winners and losers in conversations, and that opening up to other points of view means that we have to give up something we believe in. What if there is something to be gained?

“I appreciate going to my Friday Shabbat services. I appreciate going to Jummah prayer. I appreciate meditating,” Jenkins shared. “I do all three, and I’ve gone

and sat with students who are pagan. Now, does that push up against what I believe? Yes. But I’m willing to sit in the conversation so that I can learn and be able to do that.”

“My Judaism has been strengthened by getting to know the Imam,” added Engel. “I didn’t have to give up anything. I didn’t have to weaken my position. I strengthened myself.

“And that’s what we have to get to — a point where people understand whether it’s religious differences or gender identity or race or whatever it is, whatever our difference is, that when we engage in conversation it strengthens a person. It doesn’t weaken them because that’s become a myth, that you have to win the argument every time. That’s not what real conversation is about.”

“Each one of us needs to step out of our bubble and make friends with our neighbors and colleagues at work or in school who are different from us, learn a little bit about them, expand our understanding and show some respect,” says Musri. “Not just tolerate them, but respect them.”

Photos by Mike Dunn for Growing Bolder

Rabbi Steven Engel

Since 1997, Rabbi Engel has led Central Florida’s largest Reform Jewish congregation. He received Rabbinic Ordination in 1988 and a Doctorate in Divinity in 2013 from the Hebrew Union College-Jewish Institute of Religion in Cincinnati. Rabbi Engel has served as an adjunct professor of religion and a guest lecturer at Rollins College and the University of Central Florida. He is a founding member of The Interfaith Council of Central Florida and has appeared in national media related to his interfaith and social justice work.

Imam Muhammad Musri

Imam Muhammad Musri serves as the president of the Islamic Society of Central Florida, a position he has held since 1993. He is also president of American Islam, a national organization with the mission of representing and empowering moderate American Muslims. He does this by providing them with religious, educational, social, financial, and advocacy services, and outreaching to the U.S. population, media, and government with the true peaceful message of Islam. Imam Musri earned a doctorate of philosophy in Islamic Studies, and has his MBA from the University of Miami School of Business. Along with Engel, Imam Musri was a part of the Three Wise Guys - “Friends Talking Faith” radio show and podcast.

Reverend Katrina Jenkins

In 2016 Reverend Jenkins joined Rollins College as Dean of Religious and Spiritual life, becoming the first female African American person in that role. Known on campus as “The Rev,” Jenkins is an advocate for students, faculty, and staff that choose to have a faithful or spiritual life. She has been a keynote speaker, panelist, and workshop presenter at both domestic and international locales. Reverend Jenkins holds a B.S. degree in Speech Communication from Syracuse University and received her Master of Divinity from Andover Newton Theological School in Massachusetts. She is ordained by The American Baptist Churches, USA, and has over 20 years of chaplaincy within a higher education setting.

Buddhist teacher Peter Carlson

Peter Carlson has practiced contemporary mindfulness meditation since his first retreat in 1982. He has sat over 50 retreats since then, lasting from 3 days to 3 months in duration and has attended retreats led by many different teachers. Carlson founded the Orlando Insight Meditation Group as a nonprofit corporation in 1993 and still serves as president and founding teacher. During the pandemic Carlson retired from a 30-year career practicing psychotherapy, and now teaches courses and leads retreats in Florida and online.

Photos by Mike Dunn for Growing Bolder

GROWING BOLDER

Photo by Xavier Lorenzo via Getty Images

“The world is full of magic things, patiently waiting for our senses to grow sharper.”

— W.B. Yeats

Begin With the End in Mind

Five Ways to Transfer Wealth at Death

Vanessa J. Skinner

Photo by Jonathan Kitchen via Getty Images

Vanessa J. Skinner is a shareholder with the firm of Winderweedle, Haines, Ward & Woodman, P.A., where she chairs the firm’s Wills, Trusts & Estates Department. She was recently named one of the Best Lawyers in America in the area of Elder Law for the third consecutive year. She is the host of The Power of Planning Podcast, anchor.fm/thepowerofplanning

Whenever I give estate planning presentations, I like to start with one of the habits featured in Steven R. Covey’s bestselling book The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People: “Begin with the end in mind.” This is really what an effective estate plan does. As we start this new year, it is an opportune time for you to do the same and consider the different ways you can help ensure the efficient transfer of your wealth at your death.

Last Will and Testament

A Will is perhaps the most widely known document included in any estate plan. People mistakenly think that if they have a Will, their estate will not need to be probated when they die. However, the opposite is, in fact, true. Probate is a process by which the court supervises the collection of your property, the paying of your debts and the distribution of your remaining property as directed by your Will. Probate can be time consuming and generally takes about a year to complete. It can also be expensive with attorneys’ fees and court costs.

Revocable Trust

If you establish and fund a Revocable Trust during your lifetime, the trust assets will avoid probate at your death. The trust can be funded with a variety of assets, including bank accounts, brokerage accounts, real estate, business interests and even certain tangible personal property items. The trust also gives you the ability to control from the grave by outlining how and when your beneficiaries will receive the assets. Since trust administration is not a court-

supervised process like probate, it is usually quicker and less expensive. Whoever you name as successor Trustee will assemble the assets, pay any debts you owe at your death and distribute the assets in accordance with the trust terms.

Transfer by Title

When you own assets jointly with another, either as joint tenants with right of survivorship, or as tenants by the entirety (if co-owned with a spouse in certain states that recognize this particular type of joint titling), the named co-owner will automatically inherit your interest in the asset at your death by operation of law, thereby avoiding probate. However, keep in mind that joint assets can be subject to the creditor claims of your coowner during your lifetime. For this reason, I frequently caution clients to think twice before naming an adult child as a co-owner on their assets. Alternatively, as outlined below, you can designate them as beneficiaries of various assets, which will accomplish the probate avoidance without creating an asset protection issue.

Transfer by Contract

A contract governing a life insurance policy or annuity requires the insurance company to pay benefits upon your death to those you have designated as your beneficiaries under the contract. They will receive such death benefit or annuity payments outside of probate.

Other Will Substitutes

Bank and brokerage accounts similarly give you the option to designate beneficiaries. In the case of bank accounts, including certificates of deposit, they are typically referred to as payable-on-death accounts or Totten trust accounts. In the case of brokerage accounts, they are commonly referred to as transfer-on-death accounts. The primary benefit of these accounts is that they bypass probate and distribute the funds directly to your beneficiaries at your death. You can also name your trust as the beneficiary so that the account funds will ultimately be distributed in accordance with the terms of your trust.

Failing to employ any of the above referenced wealth transfer tools that are available to you can result in your assets being subject to the probate process and distributed according to the intestacy laws of your state of residence, rather than according to your own wishes. As you make your resolutions for the new year, resolve to do the proper planning so that you leave a lasting legacy benefitting the people and causes with whom you have had the greatest connection during your lifetime.

The Four Pillars of Metabolic Health

Support Your Long-Term Health

Have you ever experienced a ‘yo-yo’ diet? Did you try to make a change in the foods you ate and found temporary success, but then that weight you lost came right back?

Nearly one-in-three Americans who attempt to lose weight experience this phenomenon, and are often left feeling like they failed due to a lack of effort. Rather than focusing on what is seen in the mirror, one organization, Calibrate, is revolutionizing weight loss by taking a biological approach to help adults find success beyond the scale.

“We’re changing the way the world treats weight by putting people back in control of their health. This is about biology, not will power,” Dr. Kim Boyd, Chief Medical Officer at Calibrate, told Growing Bolder.

“Being in poor metabolic health means things like having diabetes or elevated blood sugar. It means hypertension. It can lead to cardiovascular disease, fatty liver. We’re working on the biology that’s most important for all of that spectrum of chronic illness and even more importantly, actual health. When you’re in good metabolic health, you have better energy, you have improved immunity, you have improved mood.”

A Biological Approach To Weight Loss

To aid in the process of a metabolic reset, Calibrate doctors address the science behind improved health by prescribing GLP-1 medications, which work on a hormone naturally produced by the body that impacts many different systems.

GLP-1s → Reduce Inflammation → Shift Your Set Point (the weight your body fights to maintain) → Regulate Digestion → Regulate Blood Sugar Levels

The Four Pillars Of Metabolic Health

Calibrate pairs GLP-1 medications with 1:1 coaching, to provide a support system to help members make meaningful changes to their health in four key areas:

1. Food: Establish a sustainable and flexible approach to nutrition that focuses on minimizing fast-digesting carbs and making healthier choices that include protein, fiber, and healthy fats — without counting calories.

2. Sleep: Develop a schedule to improve sleep quality and minimize cardiometabolic health factors with 7-9 nightly hours of restful sleep.

3. Exercise: Prioritize 150 minutes of movement and incorporate two or more resistance training sessions each week.

4. Emotional Health: Adopt a daily mindfulness practice and use sciencebacked methods to reduce stress and recognize emotional triggers that influence metabolic health.

This article was created in partnership with our friends at Calibrate

“All four of these elements influence one another, and most importantly, they influence our health. For example, if we're sleep deprived, our food choices change the next day. This isn't willpower, this is driven by hormones and biology, that we're more prone to eat faster-digesting carbohydrates. We have higher levels of the hunger hormone. We're more sedentary the next day.

All of these things are intricately related with one another, and they impact health in the short and the long run.”

DR. KIM BOYD, Chief Medical Officer at Calibrate

Real People Achieving Real Results

On average, Calibrate members achieve:

6" 91% 82%

weight loss reduction in waist circumference of members say that Calibrate was successful in helping them achieve weight loss results that last

of members say that Calibrate's lifestyle changes felt gradual and easy to integrate into their existing routine

“Calibrate helped me to understand that my weight is a biological condition, not something I’ve done to myself that I should be ashamed of. After beating myself up for so long, there’s such a relief in knowing that this isn’t my fault.”

“I feel more confident with myself and with how I see myself, and truly believe that my emotional health — in addition to my physical health — has improved.”

“I feel an enormous sense of accomplishment for having established healthier habits. Also, I’m grateful for how Calibrate has helped me to redefine my emotional relationship with food.”

To learn more about their program and find out if you qualify, visit JoinCalibrate.com

RUTH , Calibrate Member

JASON , Calibrate Member

JUDY , Calibrate Member

Photos courtesy of Calibrate

Joe Kittinger

The End of a Legendary Life

A member of the National Aviation Hall of Fame, Kittinger died on December 9, 2022, but it was not the first time the aerospace pioneer left this earth. That was on August 16, 1960, when he rode a helium balloon to an unprecedented height of 102,800 feet, making him the first human at the very edge of space.

“At that point I said a silent prayer, and I jumped.”

What he went through on the way down is nearly impossible to imagine. His body hurtled to earth, freefalling for five minutes, nearly reaching supersonic speed of 600 miles per hour. Kittinger set records for highest ascent and longest free-fall. His jump proved it was possible to travel to space. But he did not do it to set records.

“Every ejection seat in the world uses a small stabilization parachute to get down to low altitude,” Kittinger explained. “We needed those jumps to learn how to invent the system. That’s what we were after, and it makes us proud to have contributed to the safety and wellbeing of countless aviators and astronauts.”

That was just one of his many adventures. He volunteered for three tours of active duty with the US Air Force in the Vietnam War.

“I felt I owed it to my country to volunteer for combat,” he said.

Bill Shafer

They say you should never meet your heroes. Not true. You just need to be sure you’ve chosen the right ones. As much as I have always been in awe of the accomplishments of Joseph Kittinger, I was even more in awe of his character.

Just one week before completion, on his 483rd combat mission, his F-4 fighter jet was shot down. He spent the next 11 months as a prisoner of war in the infamous Hoa Lo Camp, known as the Hanoi Hilton, where he was brutalized on an almost daily basis.

“We were not treated nicely. We were abused, tortured, and denied food and medical attention,” he said. “I was there with 500 other Americans and through it all we were united in love for our country.”

Another intriguing part of his life is that he may be 100% responsible for long standing rumors of an alien coverup at Roswell, TX, as the mysterious Red-Headed Captain who believers say recovered the bodies of extraterrestrials from a crashed flying saucer.

“We had to do research before my parachute jump where we dropped maybe 50 anthropomorphic dummies in pressure suits out there,” explained Kittinger. “Now, these things weighed a couple hundred pounds each and we’d have to find them and carry them on a stretcher to our converted army ambulance to take back to study the data. I bet there are even more still there that we never found. But this is what some people saw, not aliens. I can guarantee that there has been no alien coverup at Roswell.”

Kittinger made history again in 1984 as the first to cross the Atlantic solo in a hot air balloon. In 1997 he was enshrined in the National Aviation Hall of Fame. He was even part of the team that eventually broke his skydive record in 2012.

Growing Bolder was with Kittinger when skydivers from all over the world gathered to honor him on the 50th anniversary of his record-setting jump, and again for one of his many livestream conversations with schoolchildren. Growing Bolder continued to reach out to Joe to share his perspective on all things related to aviation, Roswell, POWs and more.

Most of all, we were in awe of his character, his humanity and his willingness to do whatever he could to help. He believed in service to others, and that’s the life he and his wife, Sherry, continued to live right up until he was stopped by lung cancer. It is why at age 94 it still feels he was taken too soon. Our hope is that you will watch the many wonderful stories on Joe Kittinger at growingbolder.com to learn more of his legacy so that he may continue to inspire us all to reach for the stars.

JOSEPH KITTINGER

“I’ve had a wonderful and adventurous life all because I never hesitated to volunteer for just about everything I could,” he said. “Some people say never volunteer for anything; I say, volunteer for everything. Everything I did in the research business, everything I did in fighters, everything I did in my career I did because I put my hand up to volunteer. I don’t think I ever had an assignment that I did not volunteer for. And it helped direct my path through life by opening me to a world of opportunities. I was just a very, very fortunate person.”

“As a matter of fact, if I had known I was going to live this long I’d have taken more chances.”

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