ORDINARY PEOPLE LIVING EXTRAORDINARY LIVES®

ORDINARY PEOPLE LIVING EXTRAORDINARY LIVES®

Dick Boyden & Joan Bender, 81

Sometimes the simplest thing — a song, a smile, a dance — can mean everything. When you have dementia, there aren’t many places to go to find those joys; and when you’re a caregiver for someone facing cognitive decline, it’s easy to feel isolated and lost.

Joan Bender and Dick Boyden looked around their community of The Villages, Florida, and saw an opportunity to combat this problem and create something revolutionary: a place for caregivers and patients to find acceptance and connection.

Named “Our Moment Cafe,” their nonprofit group organizes meeting places featuring live performances, singing, dancing, art, sports, tai chi and more, all aimed at helping those with memory impairments and their caregivers to interact and participate with one another. The need for these moments of joy and love was evident from day one.

“The phone rang off the hook for two weeks!” Boyden laughed, recalling the response to their first ad in the local paper.

“This was something that most people would never do. But we’re trained, we’re able, we’re qualified,” Bender explained. “Both of us really have a very strong faith, and part of that faith is giving back. If you are given so much, you have to give back.”

They’ve been in demand ever since, as one of few opportunities to battle the isolation and the loneliness that so often confront not just the person, but their caregiver, too.

“We provide a safe and supportive atmosphere where they can have fun, whether it’s interactive activities or just sitting down and having a cookie and talking with each other. The key here is not entertainment, it’s engagement,” Boyden explained.

“We love these people with our hearts,” Bender chimed in. “They’ll call us to talk and we ask how they are doing. Last month a woman, with tears in her eyes, came up and said ‘Thank you so much for doing this. My husband hasn’t held me in six years.’ Can you even imagine that? And they danced here. We just love what we do.”

It’s a model that this married couple thinks can be replicated to help caregivers and those they care for across the country.

“People are talking more about dementia now,” Boyden said. “And I think that’s a healthy thing because everyone is going to experience something along this line at some point in time.”

The smiles, joy and heartfelt connection flowed throughout The Villages recreation center on a beautiful fall afternoon, as dozens of couples danced and sang to a live music performance arranged by Our Moment Cafe. But perhaps the most joy in the room could be felt by 100-year-old Marguerite Bacon, who has Alzheimer’s disease, and was in attendance with her daughter, Jeanette, who is her caregiver.

“This is fun. This is living,” Marguerite said while tapping her toes along to the live music. “It’s just being out with other people. I love life!”

“She’s not fighting it,” Jeanette explained. “She’s cooperating with it and making the best of it and making the best of every day.” Marguerite immediately chimed in, “Cooperating — that’s a good word!”

Thanks to Joan, Dick, and the volunteers that make up Our Moment Cafe, people with dementia and those who stay by their side are given a chance to do what Marguerite, at 100 years old, believes we all should do.

“Oh, live each day! Live each day and enjoy!”