Discover the Magic of a Family Meeting
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parenting
By Kelly McGinnis
M
any clients have admired family meetings from a distance, but they do not know how to implement them in their own families. Other clients have questioned this idea of sitting down as a family wondering, “Why in the world would we do that?”
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The research is strong regarding the benefits of family meetings, especially in this fast-paced, hectic world. Some of the benefits include taking time to really connect, building a child’s self-esteem, learning compromise and cooperation, understanding other people’s perspectives, and giving children value and purpose. By including children in decision-making and problem solving, they feel like they have a voice and are more connected to the family. They learn to consider more than just their own perspective and they feel they have a responsibility to the group, not just their own well-being. This is one of the largest predictors of success in later years. Here are 5 simple steps to creating a great family meeting in your home. I strongly encourage you to make time and space in your family schedule to incorporate this beneficial parenting tool.
1. Choose a natural time and place. So often, when we think about family meetings, we think that it must be formal both in location and process. The exact opposite is true. Family meetings should be casual and comfortable for both parents and kids. Take into consideration the time that most of the family will be engaged. Try to avoid times when your family is hungry, tired, or there are added stressors happening. The more natural it feels, the more natural the conversation will feel. Some great places to hold your family meeting include around the dinner table, sitting on the couch, outdoors, or away at a special family location. 2. Decide on the purpose in advance. It is important to establish an objective before you schedule the family meeting. Is this meeting to discuss an on-going family conflict, or is this meeting to do some family goal planning? Determining a purpose ahead of time gives everyone a chance to think about their role in the meeting and what they hope to expect from the discussion. Some kids do not like being put on the spot, so the advanced planning allows for children to prepare and feel like they are not being rushed or pressured. Family meetings can be held for a variety of reasons, including deciding on upcoming vacations, family
