Self-Care Is Essential

BY NICOLE M. YOUNG, MSW

This year will be the first time in 23 years that I won’t spend Mother’s Day with at least one child in my home. My youngest child is away at college, and my oldest is traveling with a friend (With what money? I don’t know, but that’s a topic for another article.). It’s bittersweet.

When my kids were younger and I was an exhausted parent, the only thing I wanted for Mother’s Day was the chance to sleep in and have a break from parenting duties for the day. Now that they’re older and more independent, I would cherish the chance to be woken up by their smiling faces and spend the day with them.

But I’m reminded of how overwhelmed and exhausted I felt (still feel sometimes) as a parent juggling family, work, and life – and how important self-care is to prevent burnout and create physical, mental, and emotional well-being.

This monthly column provides tips for anyone who is helping raise children, based on the world-renowned Triple P – Positive Parenting Program, available to families in Santa Cruz County. If you have a question or idea for a future column, email me at triplep@first5scc. org.

Dear Nicole,

I don’t have a question but would appreciate any tips or supportive words. I’m exhausted and running on empty. Dealing with the pandemic and mental and behavioral challenges at home and work has burned me out. I’m losing my patience with my toddler and tween-ager even more than usual and then end up feeling terrible. I feel alone and overwhelmed. I’m not the only one, right? -Carly

Dear Carly,

You’re definitely not the only one! It takes enormous physical, mental, and emotional energy to be a positive parent. It’s hard to find that energy on a “regular” day, and it’s been very challenging for many parents and caregivers who have dealt with one emergency after another the last few years. It’s natural and common to feel exhausted and overwhelmed, and you are not alone. Here are some tips and supportive words for you (and others who feel the same way):

Prioritize self-care. This is crucial, the energy needed to be present and patient with your family. Take time every day to do something you enjoy and that makes you feel content, whether it’s reading a book, cooking, working on a hobby, going for a walk in nature, or something else. Self-care also includes eating healthy foods, getting enough sleep, and exercising regularly.

Practice mindfulness. This is a powerful tool for managing stress and reducing feelings of being overwhelmed. It’s about being present in the moment and accepting your thoughts and feelings without judgment. When you feel stressed, try taking a few deep breaths, focusing on the sensations in your body, or doing a short meditation. Mindfulness can help you stay calm and centered during challenging situations.

Strengthen your support system. It’s vital to have people you can turn to when you need help or guidance (and we all could use help and guidance at some point) – whether it’s related to parenting, your own mental well-being, other support from family members, friends, and other people you trust in your personal and work life can help you avoid burnout and reduce stress.

If you want to talk with people who aren’t involved in your daily life (i.e., the ones contributing to your stress), consider participating in parenting classes or joining an online parenting community to connect with other parents, get support, and share experiences. This can help you feel less alone and provide you with valuable insights and skills.

Nicole Young is the mother of two children, ages 19 and 23, who also manages Santa Cruz County’s Triple PPositive Parenting Program, the world’s leading positive parenting program. Scientifically proven, Triple P is made available locally by First 5 Santa Cruz County, the Santa Cruz County Health Services Agency (Mental Health Services Act) and the Santa Cruz County Human Services Department. To find a Triple P parenting class or practitioner, visit http://triplep.first5scc.org, http://www. facebook.com/triplepscc or contact

Name_____________________________________________________________ Age _____________ Address

Submit your coloring entry to editor@growingupsc.com for a chance to be in our next issue! You can also mail them to Box 3505, Santa Cruz, 95063 Submissions due by May 15. Please include the child’s name, age and address so we can send out a prize.

Sun 7

10th Annual SCM Makers Market

10am-5pm Find one-of-a-kind handmade items from local artists and makers. Enjoy live music, food, beer and wine. At Hallcrest Vineyards in Felton. scmmakersmarket.com

Fri 5

First Friday Art of Nature 5-8pm Art of Nature Get to know Santa Cruz’s wild side at the Museum of Natural History. Nerd out on your night out during monthly after hours events every first Friday, featuring rotating themes, vendors, and activities. Free admission to the Museum all day 11am to 8 pm with special outdoor festivities 5-8pm santacruzmuseum.org/55-first-friday-the-art-of-nature

SAT & SUN 6 & 7

Live Music Fundraiser 1-4:30pm Be Natural Music will showcase bands and hold its Spring Fundraiser on May 6 at Pono Hawaiian Grill and May 7 on the Abbott Square stage in Santa Cruz. There will be multiple kid bands showcasing their extraordinary talents. benaturalmusic.live/ events.

The Jungle Book 2-4pm both days. Come experience the classic story of The Jungle Book at Santa Cruz Ballet Theatre’s concert performances at the Cabrillo Crocker Theater. scbt.org

Tues 9

Santa Cruz Wharf Concert Series

6-8pm Every 2nd Tuesday of the month from May through September, enjoy live music and games. The Lost Boys feat. James Durbin perform this month. Come check out Wharf Business pop-ups, games, and photo booths in the Commons. cityofsantacruz.com

Sat 13

Wildflower Weekend 10am-4pm View more than 80 plants in bloom including species found in the Waddell Valley, the coastal portion of Big Basin Redwoods State Park, during Rancho del Oso Nature Center’s Wildflower Weekend. Botanist-led wildflower walks are offered at 10 am and 1 pm on both Saturday and Sunday. parks. ca.gov/Events/Details/14542

Tannery Arts Center Spring 10-5pm Celebrate Mother’s Day weekend with a free family-friendly event featuring local artisans, live music, food trucks, wine and beer, art activities, and open studios on the Tannery campus. This year’s lineup includes live music with La Familla De Calle and Aquin, composed of Genoa Brown and Jase “Monk” Earl. tanneryartscenter.org/spring-art-market

Sun 14

The Santa Cruz Antique Faire 8am6pmThe fair is held the second Sunday of every month. Vendors offer an eclectic blend of antiques and unique items, vintage clothing, collectibles and more on Lincoln Street between Pacific and Cedar. downtownsantacruz.com/see/downtownantique-faire

Wed 17

Luna Film Festival 7-9pm View the inspiring short films through this year’s selection of filmmakers ranging from poets to conservationists, activists, and educators. At Del Mar Theatre in Santa Cruz lunafest.org

Fri 19

Food Truck Friday 5-8pm Enjoy the area’s largeest food truck festival at Skypark in Scotts Valley. There will be lots of excitement, more food vendors, the SVEF Beer & Wine Garden and live music. foodtrucksagogo.com

Sat 20

Gerbera Festival The popular Gerbera Festival, a fundraiser put on by Kitayama Brothers Farms to benefit Friends of Santa Cruz State Parks, returns this year as the “Gerbera-N-Go” a drive-through flower sale. Preorders are required and stock is limited. A tray of five Gerbera daisy plants is $15. Proceeds support Kids2Parks, an innovative park equity field trip program. thatsmypark.org/events/gerbera

Sun 21

Downtown Santa Cruz Makers

Market 10am-5pm Visit the Downtown Santa Cruz Makers Market featuring 40+ local makers & artists every third Sunday located on the 1100 block of Pacific Ave. between Cathcart and Lincoln streets. scmmakersmarket.com

Meet the Doulas 6-7:30pm Meet and talk with birth and postpartum doulas while you learn how they work with families. Co-sponsored by Birth Network of Monterey County and Birth Network of Santa Cruz County, this free event is open to those planning to give birth in and around Santa Cruz County. At RC Fam, 1205 Freedom Blvd #3B in Watsonville. mtdMAY2023.eventbrite.com

The Surfers Path Half Marathon

The route consists of a 13.1 mile run from Santa Cruz to Capitola and back. The event starts at the legendary Santa Cruz Beach Boardwalk and travels east along the coast. The route takes runners past the Santa Cruz Harbor, Moran Lake and Pleasure Point as it makes its way to Capitola. runsurferspath.com/halfmarathon/half-marathon/

Sat 27

Loch Lomand Flora Walk 10amNoon May’s interpretive event at Loch Lomond Recreation Area will feature local botanist Andy Werner, who will discuss native plant species found in the Newell Creek watershed. This watershed hosts a variety of vegetative communities ranging from chaparral to redwood forest. Attendance is limited to 25 people and is offered on a first-come, first-served basis. cityofsantacruz.com

Felton Parade and Covered Bridge Festival 10am-4pm This family event features a traditional parade honoring those who have served our country in the military service. After the parade, the Covered Bridge Festival is held at Covered Bridge Park, featuring live music, and vendors who sell food, drinks, and specialty items. Booths are promoting local artists and non-profit organizations, jump houses, and festival games for the kids. feltonbusinessassociation.org/ parade-and-festival-2023.html