Are You Having Relationship Problems?
Do you lose confidence each time you have a disagreement with someone in your life? Is your boss making you feel powerless? Or your partner? Or your child? Do you need a quick pick-me-up to feel good about yourself again? I’m talking about a minor irritation – for a major dilemma it’s best to see a mental health professional. There are also self help guides for relationships which provide techniques to make into habits for transforming your life.
The quick pick-me-up is called Power Posing. Imagine being able to change how you feel in just two minutes. That’s all it takes to reduce stress, boost your confidence and feel happier. I’m talking about the power dynamics of body positioning. We know that our minds can change our bodies. That has been documented in numerous studies. But can your body change your mind? That’s what Dr. Amy Cuddy, a research scientist and professor at Harvard Business School, wanted to know, so she and her team conducted studies.
Her research showed that when we’re stressed out or lacking confidence, we close up. Make ourselves smaller. We keep our arms close to our body. Or wrap ourselves up with them. We feel and act powerless. Dr. Cuddy called these Low Power Poses. When we’re confident, assertive and relaxed, we expand. Make ourselves big. We stretch out. Take up space. We open up.
Like Wonder Woman! Dr. Cuddy called theseHigh Power Poses. As a researcher, Dr. Cuddy was interested in the physiological differences in people who are powerful versus those who are powerless so she studied two key hormones: testosterone, the assertiveness hormone and cortisol, the stress hormone. Elevated testosterone alone doesn’t necessarily make someone confident and effective. Power also has to do with how someone reacts to stress. Stress spikes our cortisol which surges through our body. In highly stressful circumstances, cortisol can spike dramatically.
And this is what Dr. Cuddy found: not only was testosterone high, but the stress hormone, cortisol, was low in effective, powerful people. Men and women. Levels of these hormones can change rapidly depending on various social, physical and psychological situations. So Amy Cuddy wanted to know if we could fake it. What if we adopted a high power pose for two minutes – or a low power pose for two minutes – would it have a physiological affect? Could someone consciously elevate confidence with a practice of opening his or her body posture and freezing in that position for two minutes?
In order to find out if holding our body in a specific pose for two minutes can affect us physiologically, Dr. Cuddy and her team brought people into the lab, had them spit into a vial and tested for the two hormones, testosterone and cortisol. Next, they asked the subjects to sit or stand in either a High Power Pose or a Low Power Pose for two minutes. Then they tested their saliva again to measure testosterone and cortisol levels.
The results were stunning! High Power Poses increased testosterone by 20% and decreased cortisol levels by 25%, while Low Power Poses conversely increased cortisol by 17% and decreased testosterone by 10%. As Dr. Cuddy said, “When you fake it, you become it. When you pretend to be powerful, you’re more likely to feel powerful.” Amy Cuddy gave her famous Ted Talk in 2012 and now has well over 13 million views on YouTube.
Most of the reports I’ve read about power posing suggest doing them before an important situation where you need to boost your confidence. That’s a good time to Power Pose but I feel that doing a High Power Pose every day maintains my confidence and keeps me even-keeled. More importantly, I add affirmations that I say silently while holding my Wonder Woman pose for two minutes. That way, not only is my body telling me I’m confident and powerful, but my mind is also reinforcing it. So every day I set my iPhone for 2 minutes and hold a pose until my phone alerts me that time’s up.
While I’m holding the pose I silently repeat some of my affirmations like I am powerful. I am strong and healthy. I am confident. I am courageous. It makes me feel great; it makes me feel confident. It lets my light shine, which affects my day and affects other people as well. To quote Marianne Williamson in her famous book, A Return to Love, “As we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give others permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”
Ellen Wood of Taos, NM is an inspirational speaker and awardwinning author of “Think and Grow Young.” This article is an excerpt from her latest book, “Joy! Joy! Joy! 7 Mind Body Spirit Self-Help Practices to Relieve Stress and Anxiety, Reverse Memory Loss and Live Happy.” Contact her at ellen@bookofjoyjoyjoy.com.