PERFECTING THE SIDE HUSTLE

Cabaret’s space lesbian Billie Gold ruminates on the unusual avenues she has explored to make ends meet while the pandemic has put her cabaret performances on hold

In her own words, Billie Gold has been “doing some weird things to keep going” while clubs and bars across the world remain shuttered thanks to the coronavirus pandemic. Among them was a series of bum prints. In case that’s not self-explanatory, or you’re reading in the American vernacular, they were prints created by her own body parts as a spin on the artwork she carries out alongside her usual performing career. “I didn’t want to do T-shirts or mugs, so I did bum prints, seven of them, all one-offs. They all sold and I ended up with quite a lot of paint on my arse.”

If that was a rear window on Billie’s circumstances, she has also opened up to a more direct gaze. “To keep afloat I’ve been webcamming for the longest time, but it’s not as lucrative as you might think. I have the privilege of having something to sell. It’s like a chat room – really expensive therapy in lingerie. It’s technically sex work and I found it quite interesting to tell people that was what I was doing to do ‘the big shop’, but as a community we are very supportive.

“The day I tell them to take my profile down I will be very happy. When sex work is born out of necessity it’s not a good thing. I am not the best one to say ‘it’s so liberating’ – I didn’t feel that – but it is for some people. You do have to summon a lot of energy and you do have to take care of yourself. When you have to find a way, it’s whatever that way may be.

“You have got to be innovative. We [performers] are all in mourning for our careers and waiting for them to come back. That’s what we are first and foremost. It’s very easy to lose yourself in mourning, you have to find the urge to get up every day and find another way of making money.

“Some days I have had to choose between sugar and milk. Over lockdown it’s been tough to keep food on the table. I’ve been doing some freelance content writing but that ebbs and flows.”

But while things have been pretty dire for Billie, paradoxically the pandemic that robbed her of her beloved stage career is now providing her with a wage – as a Covid tester.

“It’s lovely to be part of a national effort,” she says. “Seeing it from the inside makes me feel better about what I have put on hold. People are amazing, although the days are really long and difficult. But I am one of the lucky ones.”

And she has nothing but praise for the way in which the testing centres at Brighton university sites she works at are being run. “I am 70% hand sanitiser at the moment. The safety precautions are second to none. I have not seen one positive test yet and we carried out 4,000 tests between the two sites last week.

“It’s super-busy but everyone understands the safety precautions and they roll up their sleeves and get on with it.”

I didn’t want to do T-shirts or mugs, so I did bum prints, seven of them, all one-offs. They all sold and I ended up with quite a lot of paint on my arse

The job has also opened up a much-missed avenue of social interaction. “Everyone who works there used to do a different job so we are all sharing our stories about what we used to do. I went eight months without work, eight months of hunting for it. I live alone, so something good about Covid testing is I am around people.”

There have had to be lifestyle changes though – early starts are not generally the domain of the late-night performer, so 6am wake-up calls are something of a novelty, but “the getting up in the morning gets easier and easier, which, as a performer, is unheard of. If you are seen at 6am it’s usually because you are still up. I did have a lie-in till 8am today, which was nice.”

But there is, allegedly, light at the end of the world’s longest-ever tunnel, and with that in mind Billie’s spirits are raised even further. Potential gigs are slated as early as June 17, with the return of Billie’s weekly femme Lipstick night at the Queens Arms, and she is “going to make sure it’s a massive show”.

And on a final note, Billie says: “I am proud of myself for hustling my way through it all. I hope it will feel like a bad dream in a few months. If I never hear the words lockdown or sanitiser again I’ll be happy. I just want to get my arse back on stage.”

So whoever snapped up those bum prints made a great call.