52 Scene about autistic people? “There’s a few. During World Autism Awareness Month in April, lots of people are talking about us and not listening to us.
“From my experiences in autistic spaces, a large number of autistic people I know are trans. I think this is held up by research from Tavistock - a disproportionate number of trans people they support were autistic” “The biggest misconception is this sense that we’re perpetually infantilised. This is an issue for parents of autistic teenagers. I’ve had backlash for suggesting that your autistic 16-year-old might be struggling with their sexuality.
QUEERLY AUTISTIC
Alex Klineberg catches up with Erin Ekins, whose prominence as a queer and autistic commentator has led to a new book, Queerly Autistic: The Ultimate Guide For LGBTQIA+ Teens ) Erin Ekins first found an audience with her
blog, Queerly Autistic. She has appeared on The Victoria Derbyshire Show and Radio 5 Live.
We started by discussing her book’s intended audience. “It’s aimed at teenagers but I also wanted it to be read by parents of autistic kids. The main question for me is what support did I need as a kid and what information would have helped me and my friends?” Fandom and fan fiction play a big role in Erin’s writing. “It’s where I learnt everything about queerness. I didn’t have access to any sort of queer community where I grew up. I was socially awkward. I didn’t get diagnosed until my early 20s. Fan fiction was a safe space – many queer people are interested in fan fiction.”
“It can be hard to come out when you struggle to read people – as so many autistic people do. Coming out is so important. At the same time, I don’t want kids doing it when it isn’t safe to do so” Each chapter has a Figuring It Out section. How did Erin approach that question? “It was about untangling feelings and having the language to talk about it. As an autistic person, being able to label something is very important. Writing those chapters was hard because figuring it out can be really hard. Brains are strange things and bodies are strange things. Everyone’s journey is unique. I had questions about my sexuality but never really about gender. I relied on other people’s experience for that. Getting into the depths – the nitty gritty – of something is really
important to me.” What about the overlap between gender dysphoria and neurodiversity? “From my experiences in autistic spaces, a large number of autistic people I know are trans. I think this is held up by research from Tavistock – a disproportionate number of trans people they support were autistic. There’s a crossover, for sure – why I’m not sure. It’s an interesting question to explore. The idea of gender as a social construct overlaps with the way autistic people experience their gender.”
“I’d really like parents to read the book too. It makes so much difference to have supportive parents. Reading and writing this book, I learnt that many people don’t. I did and I’m lucky” There is a problem though: “With research we get looked at as specimens rather than as people. I want to look at solutions. Less of the ‘why?’ and more ‘how can we help?’.” How does she approach coming out? “I think we see coming out as the big explosion and then it’s done, but that’s not how it works. Coming out is different in terms of who you come out to.” “It can be hard to come out when you struggle to read people – as so many autistic people do. Coming out is so important. At the same time, I don’t want kids doing it when it isn’t safe to do so. You’re not a coward for not coming out if it’s not safe. You need to have money saved and somewhere to go if you’re unsure. Coming out can be so varied.” What are the biggest misconceptions we have
“There was a book a couple of years ago by a self-styled autism mom. Said she’d never be able to see her son in a relationship with a woman without seeing her as paedophile – she can only see her son as a child. This makes autistic people more vulnerable as they don’t get exposed to questions surrounding porn and sexual identity. It plays out when we look at the support available for autistic adults – it’s like we disappear when we turn 18. “There are also misconceptions about our empathy. That we don’t know ourselves. That girls don’t get autism – another big one. It all ties up in this perpetual infantilisation. I think this is why transphobes weaponise trans autistic kids.” I learnt a lot of things I didn’t know about autism from talking to Erin. Perhaps the best way we can improve our understanding of autism is to talk to autistic people. Reading Erin’s new book might be a good place to start. In conclusion, Erin said: “I’d really like parents to read the book too. It makes so much difference to have supportive parents. Reading and writing this book, I learnt that many people don’t. I did and I’m lucky. I want to educate parents and empower people to understand themselves. I’m really proud of the book and I hope it has an impact.” ) Queerly Autistic by Erin Ekins is published
by Jessica Kingsley Publishers and is available online and at all good bookshops.
