Golden Hour. Billie Gold www.gscene.com

PAWS FOR THOUGHT

I lost my dog of 20 years this year.

Thankfully it was just before lockdown so I could be with her, and with my mum who had kept my little Holly safe, well and happy for most of her life. Like many family pets she had been there through most of the major milestones in my life, from my first day at senior school to my first time stumbling through the door drunk, and several heartbreaks. We made the decision to let her go while she at least still recognised us, and went with a mouthful of cake and sausage, safe in our arms.

It started me thinking about the fact that I have always had something sentient to talk to, with animals being around me most of my life, (including horses, fish, small furry things, you name it), my mental wellbeing had pretty much relied on me talking to one thing or another, and being loved unconditionally.

I wondered if humans were really meant to be alone for long periods of time without something or someone to talk to, as the loss of Holly wasn't only for me that she was no longer there, it's the feeling of home. With her not there it wouldn't be a case of greeting the dog, sitting on the sofa and having her jump into my lap, I could sit where I like, and not worry about taking her out for a walk, and I hated it.

“We made the decision to let her go while she at least still recognised us, and went with a mouthful of cake and sausage, safe in our arms”

Having something to care about other than myself has always been a double-edged sword. When I was younger I cared for horses, up at 5am every morning before school, and again when school had finished, never worrying about the hay in my hair, or the likely scenario of smelling of horse poo in class, it never mattered because they were cared for and happy. Although what we are basically doing when we get a pet is saying “I will love this member of the family more than my own life, and will likely be utterly devastated in eight-16 years when they die”, it never seems to phase us. We willingly steel ourselves for eventual heartbreak that comes with losing a pet, but having said that, I simply don't trust people who aren't animal people, although technically someone saying that they choose not to own something that is going to cause pain is in fact entirely sane and reasonable.

I can't currently own a pet due to my property being a rental (that and I fear I would never actually leave the house apart from dog walks), so I’m looking into new apps like Borrow My Doggy. I truly believe that even though they cause us endless worry, vets bills, and the occasional trashed carpet, pets make us all better people, in some cases they can even save lives and cure depression. Most humans on their own can't not love, that's why pets are so important, it has to go somewhere.