MAKE IT RIGHT. OR PAY BACK, IN KIND

By Craig Hanlon-Smith

Maybe it was tougher before and so our skin was thicker. Perhaps we’ve never had it so good and so hiccups feel like mountains. Whatever our collective and individual context, we the LGBTblah blah might want to pull our heads out of our asses and wake up to the universe. You think it’s bumpy now? Buckle up.

As a country we have been creeping more to the politically respectable right for some, the current government is just the next stage in this journey, but be clear about this, right is their direction of travel.

We have as a nation, at the time of writing, aligned ourselves to an international military pact with a global superpower, which aside from stepping outside of the internationally recognised communities such as NATO is willy waving of the highest order.

I am aware that suggesting the nation‘s behaviour is overly concerned with the praise of male genitalia could be misconstrued as sexist, but like sexism, willy waving and ball scratching on an international scale is stupid. And so is this country.

We are part of this country, we the LGBTblah blah and are by definition no less daft than the rest of them. Perhaps even dafter on occasion as we believed the sands had shifted.

Remember those halcyon days of progress when we leapt for joy at the introduction of civil partnerships? Of course, this was a vital step in our collective history and yet interesting as a leader of western democracy it was generally accepted that Britain wouldn’t stomach a move to full marriage equality so soon. Despite Spain, a dictatorship not 30 years prior and a celebrated state of

Catholicism, offering full marriage even before we had adopted our socially acceptable version. This is a conservative country and for those LGBTQ+ Tories among you, the majority of Conservative MPs voted against the introduction of Civil Partnerships.

David Cameron claimed same-sex marriage as a personal victory of his time as Prime Minister, and yet that legislation was only passed because the coalition partners voted alongside all of the non-Conservative MPs, most of which voted against the measure. The voting statistics on these measures are a matter of public record. Look them up.

The last strains of EU remainers have been removed from government in Prime Minister Boris Johnson’s latest cabinet reshuffle, and while much has been made in the (increasingly right of centre) national publicly funded media of the amount of women in the new set, these are hardline Conservative politicians playing to the gallery.

I feel the most empathy towards Priti Patel who it is clear hates herself. We should also understand more than most where she is coming from. All minorities have usually experienced some form of trauma during their early years, which if unaddressed plays out in adulthood. As a gay person I often feel the need to over-prove my worth in both work and the world, as if to show anyone who cares to listen, that the gayness doesn’t matter.

We see this in the Home Secretary’s excessive hostility towards refugees, and it is excessive. Immigration is always a tough call and a discussion topic which often inflames. But sending in the warships? Using boarder control boats to dangerously nose-nudge packed dinghies into French waters, breaking international maritime law?

Ms Patel’s parents fled Uganda in the 1960s, a country that was at the time hostile to Asians. Eventually in 1972 dictator Idi Amin expelled all Asians from the country, many of whom came to the UK where the government then offered them safe passage. Where is the understanding of the desperation of today’s migrants? Where is the empathy?

We see this level of disassociation in our own communities. Finding a level of champagne socialism that adores the finer things in life while conveniently forgetting the journey.

I understand it’s painful and the separation of our former lives from our present is often a survival technique to not only live, but to just about hang on in there. Who wants to be reminded of the spittings, the beatings, the assaults, the humiliation, the aggression, the patronising half inclusion and it is likely Ms Patel and her family experienced many of these as have we in our own different minority journeys, whatever they may be.

What was the point of all that suffering if it is not to ultimately turn it around and find some kindness for others?

“Life is about to get tougher for those who are different and those with the means will assimilate with our detractors in order to survive”

We’ve all met those privileged gay and bisexual people who having found their often-financial success as a result stepped out of the frame. I once experienced a well-known successful gay businessman whom there is no need to name here, and his friends humiliate a homeless person who asked them for money. As day broke and the gay throngs amassed at a busy Soho pavement café they threw him a jacket exclaiming “because it’s fucked anyway”, and leapt into a taxi laughing heartily about their good fortune and his poverty.

It was 20 years ago, and I have always remembered it. Sometimes we learn from our celebrated community leaders how not to behave. It’s a brave choice when that is the way the wind is blowing and make no mistake, that is the way it is blowing today.

Life is about to get tougher for those who are different and those with the means will assimilate with our detractors in order to survive. Watch, learn and know that you don’t have to go with them.

And the homeless guy? He chased that taxi, ripped a sleeve from the coat and threw it back at them. He had self-respect. Do you?