Be Assertive, Not Aggressive

Being assertive is a great skill that everyone should learn, and it won’t put interviewers off. In fact, it may even draw them in.

–Assertiveness is about finding a happy medium between aggressiveness – “I’m the best thing that is going to happen to your organisation!” – and passivity – “Well... I’m not sure how well I can perform on this job. I can give it a try... I guess.”

But it’s also about striking a balance between your needs and the demands of your colleagues, boss and clients.

Translated into the interview arena, this means staying in control and treating the interview as a two-way process with clear, calm and frank communication. It may help to think of it as a casual, but polite, meeting or conversation rather than a one-way interrogation. Here are some ways you can accomplish this.

Assertive communication

1. Show off your pearly whites! Always look directly at your interviewer and smile. If you’re being interviewed by a panel, take the time to look and smile at each interviewer in turn.

2. Break the ice Don’t be afraid to start a casual conversation with your recruiters – it shows courage and can even help you relax. However, avoid making extremely personal comments much like “Wow, you’re really beautiful!”

Keep things neutral. Topics such as the impressive office, the busy traffic and the beautiful weather are all safe.

3. Repeat key facts Have an important detail you want to highlight? Mention it, and then summarise it again! If you think it deserves another mention later, do so. But be careful not to come across as pedantic.

4. Find equal trade-offs Don’t be intimidated into accepting a one-sided bargain. Your agreement should outline a win-win scenario where both you and the employer stand to gain – such as they offering training even as you offer commitment. 5. Stay calm and take your time answeringtime answering Some recruiters may ask difficult questions, but don’t be pressured into giving an instant response. Instead, buy time by asking the interviewer to clarify the question, or ask for some time to think it through. 6. Ask questions Show your maturity and enthusiasm by asking questions about the company’s role and the industry. Questions about working at the organisation are also an indication of your desire to fit in.

Active listening

1. Listen without interrupting Don’t interrupt and form your own assumptions on what the recruiter might be asking or saying before he or she finishes. After all, you don’t want to spend 15 minutes answering a question only to find that you’ve misunderstood the recruiter!

2. Nod and acknowledge Every once in a while, nod and acknowledge the interviewers. If necessary, make brief comments to indicate that you’re listening – “yes” and “uh huh” work. Don’t nod excessively, though!

3. Echo their language Establish a rapport by echoing the language the interviewers use to describe their approach to problems and solutions. For example, do they “Feel the outcome is...” or “See the outcome as being...?” 4. Let your body talk Mimic the interviewer’s body language to build a connection, but don’t overdo it! Responding with the appropriate facial expressions are important too. Looking bored as you listen is definitely not the way to go. Checklist: Are you assertive enough?

I can look at my interviewer in the eye and feel OK I feel alright talking about my own achievements I’m able to question things when I’m uncertain about them I’m comfortable saying “I don’t know” or “Sorry, I don’t understand the question” I’m able to express my honest opinion to the recruiters, even if they might disagree I feel comfortable referring to my resume for help in the interview room I’m able to speak confidently in group situations, such as group assessments I can assert my own needs while working with others without feeling reluctant I can say “I’m capable of doing this job” or “I don’t want this job” without feeling awkward I can be honest about the mistakes I’ve made in the past

If you got…

More than 7:

Well done, you’re consistently assertive! You know your mind and you have no qualms about speaking up politely.

Less than 7:

You may still be a little shy about expressing yourself. But do your best to share your thoughts with others – politely, of course!