The Effects of Avoiding Talking About Issues

These reasons can lead to men suppressing their true feelings and emotions so much that they start losing touch with themselves.

Unfortunately, when men find it difficult to talk about their problems, they often seek alternative outlets and solutions that can become counterproductive and even harmful to themselves and others.

In turn, this can lead to other types of unfavourable responses to compensate due to their inability to really identify what is bothering them. The effects of neglecting their emotional needs can lead a man to experience the following problems or tendencies:

Alcohol or Drug Addiction

Some men turn to substances such as alcohol or drugs to provide positive feelings and compensate for their inability to address and feel their emotions and problems. While one or two drinks a week is nothing to be concerned about, escalating dependence on alcohol can cause further relationship issues and increase the chance of health problems or severe drug addiction.

Anger Issues

When men withhold all their negative emotions, the stress and frustrations can eventually cause irrational and emotional outbursts. These behaviours often take the form of aggressive actions and angry responses and can make the conflict more serious or harmful to others.

Two partners in a relationship may take on “pusher” and “withdrawer” roles. The pusher may encourage the man to say how he feels and talk about his problems, but if the man (in this case, the “withdrawer”) does not want to, he can lash out in anger, damaging therelationship dynamic further.

Men may show anger, but anger often masks other emotions, like:

 Feeling afraid

 Feeling hurt

 Feeling rejected

 Feeling unwanted

Abusive Issues

Along with anger, abusive issues can be an unfortunate side effect of the inability to discuss emotions and problems. When men (or anyone) cannot express their emotions and work through them, bottled-up feelings can become difficult to control, leading to verbal or physical abuse.

Loss of Relationships

Relationship experts and counsellors have found that a man’s refusal to communicate about problems often leads to losing relationships, as the lack of understanding negatively impacts his partner or friend. Many men avoid addressing problems for too long and fail to realize the effects until their partner leaves or withdraws from them.

Health Risks

Extensive scientific research proves that a person’s emotional state can directly affect their physical health. The additional stress and anxiety of internalizing and hiding emotions can increase the risk of stroke, heart attack, heart disease, and high blood pressure.

Inability to Seek Help

Another common “side effect” of bottling up emotions and problems is for some men to scoff at talking to a counsellor. The mere thought of openly sharing every aspect of what bothers them with a complete stranger can be a major obstacle. There are even men who find the notion of talk therapy ridiculous because they do not truly understand the benefits a professional counsellor can provide.

This challenge can be difficult to overcome; once men convince themselves that counselling cannot help, they cut off a potential avenue for treatment that could improve their happiness, health, and relationships.