Motivation

Care in communication

Effective communication is a key interpersonal skill and learning how to improve your communication has many benefits. Read on and find out more

By Girish Jain

Evolution of Language and communication by humans through their voice started ages back. In the Stone Age, there was no language and humans used sign language by hands or facial expressions or by drawing pictures. Slowly, the sign language turned into symbols and then spoken language was developed. In this process, the world has created millions of words in thousands of different languages and dialect, even different words in same language having same meaning and impact. This gives rise to misunderstanding and needs extreme care in our communication.

What is communication? The literal meaning of Communication is “the imparting or exchanging of information by speaking, writing, or using some other medium. In other words, an individual speaks to someone to convey information, feeling or instructions in a common language the other person can very well understand is communication. It is a dialogue or exchange of information or thoughts. The communication can be written, oral or written but the essence remain same.

Why do we need to communicate? During my twenty plus years of service at various small to medium to large organizations and my association with many cultural and professional associations, I had the opportunity to deal with lot of people with multi-cultural background, gender, thought process and emotional quotient. In this part of the world, where English is not the native language for every expatriate, caution is the word we all need to care for. As Tony Robbins aptly said, “To effectively communicate, we must realize that we are all

different in the way we perceive the world and use this understanding as a guide to our communication with others.” I would like to share few valuable lessons learnt to assist in understanding various aspects of effective communication skills: Two-way street: Unlike a speech or a lecture you may deliver at a symposium or in office meetings, communication is a two way street where response of both parties is required. If there is no response from other person, the communication cannot be termed as complete. Few years back my wife complained that she requested me to go out for shopping after I get back from office but I ignored. I denied ever listening her request. I asked her, “O dear, after you said it, did I reply and did I say - Yes, I understand.” If not, you should not assume that I heard it. Therefore, she realized reaffirmation is certainly critical to complete the communication cycle.

Articulate and to the point: Plato once said- “Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something.” How true it is! We should always think rationally and then speak. There are various ways to formulate and say same message. Always try to think before the conversation starts on how to say it better without adding too many adjectives and conjunctions. Formation of sentence with appropriate words can be a challenge for many but practice can make it happen.

Uphold dignity: Instead of saying ‘Do it’, a much better sentence will be ‘Can you please do it’. I remember few years back, one of our neighbours ‘X’ came late at night and since could not find parking, parked his car in front of another neigh bour ‘Y’ and placed a placard on his car’s dashboar d with his mobile number. Next day was a Friday, early morning, ‘Y’ had to go with his family for an outing, saw this car and the number. He called ‘X’ on his mobile and in a blow of anger, said in a loud voice ‘Come down and remove your car’. ‘X’ did not show up for next half an hour and switched off his mobile while ‘Y’ was restless and honking furiously. ‘X’ came down and ‘Y’ started argument on wrong parking, his coming late. ‘X’ told ‘Y’, if you had told me ‘PLEASE come and remove your car’, I would have come immediately’. ‘Y’ had to suffer that day for his arrogance by not adding a simple word ‘Please’ into his initial call to ‘X’. Believe you me, ‘Y’ had to apologize at the end instead. (due to accent of other person). It is always better to request other person to repeat the sentence and if still some words are not clear, request to clarify what it means. The simple rule is – repeat the sentence and ask if this is what was being said. Do not assume, else, there will be room for misunderstanding.

Show respect and attention: When we start conversing, we should show our at tention and care for the efforts of the other per son and that gives a great comfort for other person to talk freely and without hiding anything. I remember my close encounter with chairman of one of my previous companies, feeling very nervous as meeting him in person for the first time. I started with, ‘His Excellency, can I take 5 minutes of your time’. He turned his full attention towards me and said, “Yes, of course, take 10 minutes”. I was amazed to see such a polished and polite person at that high seat of responsibility and my nervousness was gone in seconds. I still carry a lot of respect for him for those words even after almost 2 decades post that meeting.

Vocabulary: For most non-native English speakers, their knowledge of vocabulary generally is limited and so it is highly likely that some of the words spoken by others are unknown (never heard) or not clear Be ethical and say it right: The race, religion or gender does not matter, what matters most is that the person talking to you is giving their valuable time. Treat and respect their time and attention and so it

is your responsibility to convey and converse in whatever best possible way you c an. If it is in office meeting - prepare well, rehearse and get ready with answers for possible questions. Always be ethical and make sure whatever you are conveying is in line with rules and regulations of the company you work for and the country you live in.

Think and speak positive: Negativity destroys a good conversation. Sometimes we assume about other person’s person ality or his reaction even before starting th e talk, which should be avoided. Our expressions should always be neutral before we engage in any conversation and according to the flow of conversa tion, can adjust facial expressions, smile o r curiosity look. Focus on the message instead of messenger: There is a very famous English proverb, ‘Don’t shoot the messenger’. There is also a Hindi proverb ‘Eat mango, don’t start counting the seeds’. It simply means to focus on the message or information delivered and its impact or use for us. Who delivered or how it was delivered sometime may not matter. Our attention on these unnecessary details may turn our focus off the real issue or the core message. Control your temper: You cannot afford to lose temper in office unless you are the boss and owner. Sometimes we need to show our frustration or unhappiness for an awful job done by a subordinate, wait…. there are ways. One of my earlier Amer ican boss was highly skilled in handling s uch situations. He would be angry but never show it and will start the conversation by saying – “Can you please do me a f avour, can you please do it this way from next time”. His frowned face and these words would just do the trick and he was able to convey his message without any hard talk.

ters is one of those platforms where you ma y share your stories; your feelings or your views in front of a large gathering of members like yourself. Toastmasters is a proven program where you may find lifelong friends and learn so many soft skills you might have not experienced earlier. There may be other paid crash courses from companies engaged in personality development to gain the confidence and learn the art of public speaking.

Understand other person’s emotional needs: Every person is different in terms of background, gender, religion, country, and race and so their emotional needs will be very different from one another and accordingly their tolerance level. Few years back, I was delivering a presenta tion in office, cracked a simple joke that in volved a friend and his wife. One of the attendees got offended. I had cracked the same joke in many out of office seminars and received a loud laughter every time. That day I realized personal jokes can be dangerous in office and can give a differ ent message to different people. Let us be c areful in office by avoiding jokes or if you need to (to break the boredom of the presentation), bring in random people not at all connecting to you or anyone present there.

Find right platform for practice: You may need to find an appropriate platform where you can practice communication skills and get instant feedback. Toastmas In the words of Joel Osteen, “You can change your world by changing your words... Remember, death and life are in the power of the tongue”. Words spoken by you create a persona and that define and explain a lot about your character. Be good to others in your conversation, never hurt or say, anything negative, be mindful of above lessons learnt and the good will come to you.

Girish Jain is a long-time resident of Qatar who is associated with CA Doha Chapter, Internal Auditors Qatar Chapter and Toastmasters. His views on communication and Indian economy have been regularly published in many publications. Reach him at: girishvms@gmail.com

THE IMPORTANCE OF CHOICE

By Simon Porter

There are many ways to identify a good international school, and whilst many schools will have in ternational staff, an international student bod y and an international curriculum, few can offer truly meaningful partner ships and a true choice of pathways to en ter top Universities.

Compass International School’s ground-breaking collaboration with the Massachusetts Institute of Technology (MIT), one of the best universities in the world, falls into this category. MIT provide Compass students with unique challeng es to develop their technological and thinkin g skills throughout the school year. They also provide training for Compass staff and provide opportunities for Com pass students to visit MIT to take part in s tudent events. Compass’s collaborations do not stop there. Their Music, Dance and Drama curriculum is written by The Juilliard School, the world-renowned per forming arts conservatory. Compass is the o nly school in Doha to offer this curriculum. Juilliard artists visit the school each t erm, and curriculum specialists visit the school to offer training and advice to teachers on a regular basis.

Parents send their children to international students to seek entry to the world’s top uni versities. Whilst most schools can offer only one pathway, via either the British style A-Level or the International Bacca laureate, Compass’s opening of their new s tate of the art Themaid campus mean that they can now offer both internation ally-recognised qualifications. Students an d parents in Year 11 receive intense counselling and information sessions to enable them to make the best choice for them. They can then move between the campus of their choice to do the qualifi cation with best chance of getting them in to the top institutions. Compass’s highly trained international staff will then give them the best opportunity of entering the university of their choice by choosing the most beneficial choice of subjects and qualifications. Top universities demand a fully balanced education in addition to excellent examinations results, and Com pass’s unique collaborations with the best ins titutions in the world offers the best pathway to these goals.

Compass International School is now offering A-Levels for the 2020/21 Academic Year, in addition to the IB Diploma. Find out how your child can succeed inside and beyond the classroom at cisdoha.com

Every day is an open day at Compass International School. Con tact our Admissions Team today for a personalised tour at any of o ur four campuses around Doha. Email admissions.cisd@nais.qa or call +974 4034 6801.

Simon Porter is the Director of Quality and Staff Development and Head of Secondary, Themaid Campus Compass International School. He is a Times Education Supplement “Subject Genius” for Science and contributed to Professor Deborah Eyre’s recent book on High Perfor mance Learning.