To share or not to share: Grade discussions stem from varied motivations, require balancing consequences

Irene

Grades: a staple in high school life and a cause for comparison, curiosity and—most widely—conversation.

According to a survey sent out to Gunn students by The Oracle from Jan. 27 to Feb. 3 with 225 self-selected responses, 97.4% of students discuss grades with their peers, and 18.7% do so daily. Whether in class or online, with close friends or classmates, the circumstances underpinning students’ grade discussions reveal ranging consequences and attitudes on the nature of grades.

Contextualizing grade discussions

According to senior Justin Hou, students discuss grades beyond those given for major assessments. “Sometimes it happens for assignments, especially group projects,” he said.

While some disclose specific scores, others give a more qualitative indication on how they did. In Hou’s friend group, these kinds of terms are more common than official, numeric scores. “There’s a sense of respect and community in that we support each other, and if you don’t want to share that information, there’s no urgency to do so,” he said.

Reluctance to share grades can cause students to be vague about their scores. Junior Lauren Kane prefers to keep her scores to herself but will share them with peers if asked. “I try not to get too involved in the conversation, and I don’t go too in depth when describing my grades,” she said. She avoids discussing grades with close friends, explaining that it has increasingly become a source of uncomfortable conversations and stress among them.

On the other hand, freshman Eman Ebrat’s closeness with her friend group encourages her to discuss grades in more detail. “I feel like I can be more personal with them,” she said.

In tricky situations when a peer has a lower grade, students navigate them with supportive words and attitudes. For instance, Ebrat adopts an empathetic stance, telling the classmate that their effort and hard work is enough. Similarly, Kane redirects the conversation to the peer’s strengths rather than focusing on the score. “Usually I’ll counteract with something else I did badly in and they did better in,” she said.

Though conversations about grades typically start with one or two people, they can snowball as other students join in. “Usually when I talk about grades, other people start talking about it first, so then I’ll join in the conversation,” junior Analiesse Schoenen said.

Sometimes, simple curiosity can prompt students to ask about each other’s grades, but often, more complicated intentions motivate these conversations. Comparison is one factor for students to ascertain whether they did better than or as well as others. Desire for validation of their hard work can drive students to ask their peers about scores. “At Gunn, especially among certain groups of people, there’s a lot of comparison for people to validate themselves,” Schoenen said. “People like hearing when other people did badly on something, and they also like knowing that they did better than other people.”

Students may also discuss grades to seek a sense of security built on knowing how they stand in relation to the class. Especially for harder tests, knowing that the whole class performed poorly can dispel anxiety over lower grades by providing a frame of reference. “I feel more comforted knowing that I’m not a failure, and that it was just a hard test,” Kane said.

“There’s a sense of respect and community in that we support each other, and if you don’t want to share that information, there’s no urgency to do so.”

In the face of unsatisfactory grades, students can discuss them to commiserate with each other and acknowledge common challenges, such as difficult questions, unfair grading or ineffective teaching methods. “Usually if I’m talking about grades, I’m complaining about it,” Schoenen said.

Of course, students have reservations when it comes to sharing grades, including not wanting to contribute to a toxic culture of competition. “I typically try not to

Grades—p.2