The unseen faces of men in mental health

daniel Bethers dBethers@dailyegyptian com

“I think, therefore I am,” said the 17th century philosopher René Descartes, finding himself unable to question his own existence after exhausting every other avenue of doubt. According to Descartes, the very action of doubt proved that his existence was so. This struck directly at the heart of one of the most profound questions of philosophy, helping to establish the mind as something far more than a secondary vessel for the heart: the seat of the soul itself.

Today, questions of mental health and the differences between genders once again recast our thoughts of the mind in battleground where the most salient questions are those with no straightforward answers. Who is the modern man, and, after endless debate over the societal or biological nature of his difference from women, how is his mind actually different? What are his role models? Does he have less problems or more? Is there truly a right way to think, or are there just healthier ways to think? A barrage of questions put what previously appeared to be men’s safe refuge of unquestioned identity into upheaval. Understandably solid ground is hard to come by when it comes to how men should approach the world. Whether for good or bad, this time of change gives mental health professionals an opportunity to smooth the harsher edges of our culture while the iron is still hot.

Towards that end, Centerstone, a provider of mental health services including counseling and addiction recovery services and frequent host of presentations on social issues, observes “manuary,” this month to raise awareness for men’s mental health issues.

According to Dr. Shane Kuhlman, the Chief Psychology Officer for Centerstone and a specialist in community/clinical suicide prevention and substance use, men do behave differently from women when it comes to mental illness, if not always in the the way popular myths would have us believe.

“I’m passionate about both gender norm research and suicidology research,” Dr. Kuhlman said. “I think, getting into that field as throughout my life, I’ve seen a lot of restricted emotions in men, both in my family and external to my family and some of the problems that that can potentially create as well as history of suicide attempts as well as suicidal thoughts in my friends and family.”Dr. Kuhlman includes both cis men and trans men in this assessment of men’s issues, though he acknowledges that trans men have their own unique situation. He is also careful to state that men’s issues are not necessarily harder than women’s issues, simply different.

“One of the unique things about men’s mental health in our Western society is that they are expected to have it all together,” Dr. Kuhlman said. “So we expect men to constantly know what they want, when they want it, and how to get it, and that’s just simply not the case. As with all people in this world, stuff gets messy and you may not always have things together.”

In addition, Dr Kuhlman finds that there is a wide array of emotions that it’s simply not acceptable for men to express in our traditional western society, even though they have them just as often as women.

“So when you think about these emotions that men are expected to, or are likely to be reinforced to express, these are things around anger, guilt, shame, vengeance. You know, the things that we see traditional men express in movies, media, things of that nature,” said Dr. Kuhlman. “So when we see this that men are supposed to express emotions in this way, and we don’t really have a lot of experience of men expressing emotions another way. And then you pair this with the mess that is, you know, normal society. But men aren’t supposed to be messy. You can see how that can lead to some distinct problems. Men can tend to express this messiness in anger, external anger, aggression towards others, internal aggression or self-hatred is something I commonly see in men: shame, guilt.”

According to Dr. Kuhlman, men are judged by their careers and their accomplishments far more than women are. Men that come to Centerstone often feel insecure about their achievements in life, and whether or not they’ve succeeded in their career. Men often think that they are not good enough, and need to be better in their careers.

Interestingly, problems of money were the main issue brought up by male students.

“Well, as far as my finances, I certainly struggle, but also, bear in mind that there’s always a solution for things since I’m quite tranquil about that stuff,” said Daniel Pedraza, a sophomore . It affects my mental health, really. So luckily, it hasn’t gone too bad. Although I do struggle sometimes.”

In particular, Pedraza’s logic professor assigned the class a textbook worth over 150 dollars written by himself. The textbook was only available through SIU’s own bookstore, and couldn’t be obtained through more affordable means.

“This is my fourth semester with this school,” said River Atwood-Winninger, a mortuary science major at SIU.”I’ve dealt with mental illness all my life and my parents both had their things. I got my fair share of it from them. I definitely would be doing a lot worse if I didn’t have resources provided like therapy and medications that helped with suicidal ideology, generalized anxiety, things like that. It’s a lot easier when you have the means. I think that the biggest problem for college students in my position is those that don’t have the means.”

If it weren’t for the fact that he already had one of the books required, AtwoodWinninger’s book expenses would have come out to 610$ this semester. Despite having well intentioned people in them that are “willing to work with you”, Atwood-Winninger’s experience with CAPS is that it was ineffective, and alienating. He was removed from his behavioral therapy group for missing sessions for emergencies.

“Yeah, it doesn’t help either that I tend to surround myself with other people that have mental illness because they’re easier to relate to,” Atwood-Winninger said. “So I when, say for example, my boyfriend tries to commit suicide. I obviously have to take some time off school to make sure that I’m doing all right as well as him. I drove back to Chicago last semester because my father had a psychotic break and ended up in the ER. So I’ve missed a couple of weeks at school that barely passed.

Though many of his more experienced professors were okay with his absences due to emergencies, newer and more by the book professors weren’t as sympathetic and made it difficult to pass. In another instance, he ran out of money completely over thanksgiving break. Because SIU makes students leave their dorms during the holidays, he was left with a choice between a fee he was unable to pay to stay at the dorms over break, and an amtrak ticket back to chicago that he couldn’t afford.

“SIU overall, I’ve noticed, that the school is much more concerned with the academics of their students than their mental health or their financial stability,” Atwood-Winninger said.

Several of the people in AtwoodWinninger’s life have died because they refused to seek mental health support, something which he says comes down to finances mostly. His boyfriend has been completely unable to find a therapist that will work with him in the area, and he himself is currently off his meds because his psychiatrist is overbooked.

“I’ve had friends that thought that they could, you know, knuckle through during some of the worst parts of their lives when they really needed the support,” said Atwood-WInninger. “And some people I know have died because they didn’t seek that support.”

Getting men to accept that they have a problem in the first place has proven difficult for mental health professionals given traditional male values of strength and independence, especially when men feel guilty about their problems.

“I think getting men into mental health treatment is a problem in itself,” said Dr. Kuhlman. “Even more than women coming into mental health treatment - and I do this anyway and I suggest it to our professionals - but with men especially, applaud them for coming into treatment and how much strength it takes to get in. This is the first step to breaking that thinking trap - that there’s something wrong with you and you need to be better. This is the first step to dispelling the myth that you’re supposed to have it all together.”