To Be or Not To Be Happy - Rochelle Chlala

Most of these articles are discussing festivals. A joyous time where people can gather and revel in things that make them happy, whether that be games, family time, or cotton candy. A time where the main aim is to experience a small slice of happiness. While lifelong joy would be ideal, the impact that small joys can have on you is not something that minimizes the importance of happiness as a value. Yet, outside of festivals, is happiness a key motivator for what many of us choose to do? And if so, are we chasing long term happiness or a good night with lasting memories?

As a child of immigrants, a lot of what fueled my decisions stemmed from how likely it will bring my parents closer to finally saying they’re proud of me. (I swear I’m fine :’)). Yet, while I joke, a lot of societies and cultures focus on stability, success, and the upholding of traditions when it comes to making decisions. Happiness is an afterthought to the possible repercussions of not upholding these values.

William Tov, a Cambodian psychological researcher, reports that Europeans/Americans not only tend to report feelings of joy/happiness more, but they prioritize these emotions throughout their daily life. Conversely, with a large group of POC communities, mainly dealing with East Asians in his research, feelings such as peace/serenity are considered of higher priority.

However, the ideals of each vary. Humans often adapt to their surroundings and any change in values from culture to culture would simply be a response to the socioeconomic backgrounds of said individuals, as well as other deep-seeded circumstances. A simple example would be a child born in a society that favors strict academic success would often develop such a success as a value, while in a culture that focused more on artistic talents, would grow to have individuality as highly important. Despite my grave oversimplification of developmental psychology, evidently, no value, cultural or denominational, is the correct one. We all seek the best foundation for the world we live in.

To admit that some of our fundamentals sets us apart could be disastrous. It could encourage the idea that people who focus on certain values should maintain a tight knit community and that developing connections with people who do not share the same focus is unsustainable. However, just taking a look at the friendships formed across our campus have proven that this isn’t just false but counterproductive. The things that define us don’t just stem from what we were taught but also what we experience. The whole Nature vs Nurture debate is not one that will be discussed here or could even attempt to be answered, but the combination of the two, whilst possibly differing in weight, is what allows all of us to be the person we are today - hopefully reading this fantastic article in G-You. Undoubtedly, fundamental priorities and values can cause riffs in friendships, relationships etc.…but we allow interests and experiences to form connections and even develop great empathy.

We have all heard the phrase ‘putting yourself in someone else’s shoes’, yet that often simply leads to misunderstanding and a sense of judgement. Putting aside values and permitting ourselves to share the good, the bad, and the ugly scores more than trying to enforce an utilitarian way of feeling or comparing to how you personally would react. The University of Nottingham reported on the substantial advantages of peer support and the difference that the ability to share experiences, and to share in experiences, can have when empathizing and aiding a person. Thus, our ability to be vulnerable and show that regardless of a contrast in inherently valuable traits, we will still use shared experiences to understand and help, but not to solve or enforce, is one of the best things that tie us all together.

It doesn’t take a genius to identify that we all strive for different things. At the base of us lies a different ethos, a mockup of our culture, background, and experiences. While at times it can cause divisions (literally just turn on the news any other day), it creates a world where happiness or peace or vocational success are all strived for and a world where we all work to achieve all these desires.

by Rochelle Chlala