The Night I Slayed My Enemy in a Church Parking Lot then Learned to Live by The LORI Factor

BY LORI BRUTON

o without me. Suicide is on the rise. Too many people feel lost, lonely, and hopeless, and su er in silence as I did.

I found it imperative to reinvent myself and reclaim my life. I have learned to heal from the pain and not bury it. I have learned to forgive myself and the people who have hurt me. I know how to love and value myself now. I realize that life is God’s gi to us, and how we live our lives is our gi to God. at Lori who was drunk under a truck in a church parking lot is gone.

I embarked on a journey of rebirth, discovering and developing myself to become the best version of myself. is transformation resulted in extraordinary gi s emerging through faith, awareness, and belief. No longer was I under the dark spell that had me sleepwalking through life.

I ran from religion and rituals into the arms of God. When I let go of God, it led to destruction. My relationship with Him and seeing myself as God sees me restored my mind, body, and soul and restored my health.

sidewalk in a rage until I came to a liquor store. How can I numb this intense pain? Forcing a smile and hiding my tears, I purchased a big bottle of liquor.

ere was a cold chill inside my mind and body. Brown bag in hand, I walked back to my car oblivious of my surroundings. Sitting in the driver’s seat, I unscrewed the bottle and let the alcohol pour into me, hoping to numb the pain. e enemy consumed me and took control. I was going nowhere in my parked car. e only thing driving now was the alcohol as I stumbled out of my car and fell onto the stones. I crawled until I passed out drunk under a truck in that church parking lot.

Prior to that night, I believed I would bring love and hope to others when I signed up for the ministry training class at that church. Instead, darkness fell upon me and opened doors from my past that I thought were closed. Each week, the instructor covered topics including death, divorce, abusive relationships, alcohol abuse, addictions, domestic violence, and more.

What happened to me that night in the parking lot was the culmination of what the instructor said and the years of hurt buried inside me. My own experiences were triggered, including my parent’s divorce and witnessing domestic violence. I looked out the tiny basement window and saw a rainstorm brewing. I was about to encounter the storm brewing in my mind, which was much worse. I had a beautiful loving home with a good husband and two wonderful sons. I loved my family. I was living the life I wanted. Unexpectedly, the darkness of my past crept in and devoured my happy home. My father le our home when I was about thirteen and that was one of the hardest things to accept. I made poor decisions, looking for love in all the wrong places.

One night during class, the instructor asked me to leave instead of showing compassion. e weight and humiliation of banishment broke me into a million pieces.

e hurt was so intense. at is how I ended up a broken, intoxicated mess passed out drunk under his truck in the church parking lot that ominous night.

e shame ate me up, and engaging in toxic relationships became my norm. I attempted to end my life. I thought everyone would be better is transformation lled me with hope. at’s when people began to call me the Queen of Hope. What I do now is celebrate myself, my wins, and stay thankful. Laughter, fun, and travel are essential for mental and physical health.

I love this quote by Les Brown: “When life knocks you down, try to land on your back. Because if you can look up, you can get up.” I got up and am living life by what I call e LORI Factor.

L – LOOK through the Lord’s loving eyes to see a larger vision of your life and create a vision of yourself beyond your circumstances and mental conditioning.

O – OPTIMISM: Have an optimistic spirit and retain the possibility that you can change your life.

R – REINVENT yourself. Be willing to make radical changes in your behavior to live a purposeful life.

I – INVEST in yourself. Bet on you. You’re an asset to the planet. You have something special. You have greatness in you. You’re a masterpiece because you are a piece of the Master.

I wrote a book about it. Beyond that, I enjoy showing others how to live the life they were born to live. My hope is that my story empowers others and saves lives.

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1. TELEVISION: What was the name of the saloon in the 1960s series “Gunsmoke”?

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