Alternate Universe in Which I Love Myself More Anonymous

Alternate Universe in Which I Love Myself More (After Olivia Gatwood)

i am seventeen and regret nothing. i eat three meals without reminding i only buy clothes that fit me. i only buy clothes that make me fall in love with me which is to say i do not wait for him to fall in love with me which is to say i love me even if he doesn't

that in another universe, love has always been all hunger & heartache & hysteria but here it is just love here he does not need me but wants me here i want to be happy more than I want to be wanted

when he holds me, i hold my gravity. when he lets go, i do not fall to pieces. here, my heart beats in my chest

not his hands. here, i love him and that does not give him power over me i do not die a martyr at the altar of his affection i do not die waiting for him to save me

and that is not to say that i give nothing away that i do not love with my whole body that my soul does not tangle in his the pull in my chest-the knot in the string that ties me to him but it is to say that it is clear where i end and he begins.

it is to say when he hungers, i do not butcher myself bloody to feed him it is to say that i do not hate myself for not having all the answers it is to say that i do not hate myself for not being the answer it is to say that i do not hate myself.

Anonymous