Senior Dinner Address

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Diane Remenar

Upper School Spanish teacher Diane Remenar was chosen by the Senior Class as this year's Rice Award winner. She delivered the Senior Dinner Address on June 7, in which she explored the importance of getting out of your comfort zone and finding the lessons in each moment. Ms. Remenar retires on July 1.

It is an honor and a privilege to be standing here, forming part of this very special event . This evening, there are many well deserved thanks to extend, so I will begin by thanking the Rice brothers who have endowed this award . Thank you to the members of the parent committee who organized this celebratory event . Thank you to the people responsible for creating and raising the members of this class . Thank you to my colleagues and friends, the teachers, coaches and mentors for working collectively to get this class to the finish line . Also, many thanks to the Dean of the class of 2021, Madame Crepeau, who has led this group, and my fellow advisors, through the challenging times and the BEST of times . And, my sincerest thanks to the entire class of 2021, including my flight crew and the Gru crew, for kindly or punitively inviting me to step out of my comfort zone and address you this evening .

Class of 2021 — you have formed a cohesive group of learners who really are a pleasure to spend time with. I have learned so much from you over the years that I sometimes pause and ask — who is the teacher in the room? But at least for tonight, I am. Just so you know, I have always wanted to be a teacher. One Christmas when I was 8, I thought I had died and gone to heaven when my parents indulged me with a huge blackboard, an eraser, and chalk. Remember, this was way before technology made our lives easier, OR NOT, but I loved giving lessons to whoever would listen to me. As a junior in high school, I was even the recipient of a scholarship created for a student who wanted to become a teacher. So, I’ve been fortunate to have spent my professional life doing what I enjoy. Now, having you as a captive audience, a teacher’s delight, I can’t resist giving you some advice based on my own experiences. I have wracked my brain trying to figure out how to avoid clichés in talking to people who, to use a cliché, are just starting out in their adult lives, but as you see, I can’t! For those of you who have been in my class, you know that I like to do things with bullet points and time things out. So, for my 12 minute speech tonight, I have three bullet points, each with a personal story, that I hope will…here’s another cliché…serve as advice for life.

So here they are: 1. Pay it forward 2. Be a traveler not just a tourist 3. Find your passion

SENIOR DINNER ADDRESS

Bullet point number 1 — Pay it forward. I was once in a very serious car accident when I was in my 20s, footloose and fancy-free traveling down the beautiful Pacific coast of Mexico. A friend and I were traveling from Zihuatenejo en route to a bohemian beach town further down the coast called Zipolite. We set off on our adventure a little earlier than planned that day so we could take our time and enjoy the scenery along the way. We were traveling at a reasonable speed, and as I said, taking it easy, in a sturdy sedan along a somewhat treacherous two-lane highway. Suddenly, up over an embankment, that wasn’t a road, came a flatbed ford loaded with soldiers. Contrary to what one would think at age 21, and to quote an old Eagles song — that flatbed ford was not taking it easy nor was it slowing down to take a look at me. It came barreling up the embankment to zoom across the highway without checking to see if anyone was coming. There was no time to react — we crashed smack into the side of the truck and we were knocked unconscious.

The next thing I remember was waking up in a different vehicle with a stranger driving, not my friend, and with what I thought was a red tee shirt on my face which was actually a white tee shirt stained with blood. I could feel deep cuts all over my face through the tee shirt. Long story short, I spent the night in a health clinic in a tiny village pretty much in the middle of nowhere immobilized, in pain, and hooked up to an IV with voracious mosquitos feasting on my arm. When I fully regained consciousness and asked who rescued me, the doctor and nurse on duty said that a kind and brave person who worked for the telephone company had picked up my friend and me, loaded us into his work vehicle, carried us into the clinic, where he stopped only to make sure we were attended to and then took off without a trace.

The accident, so long ago, made me realize how precious life is and served to make me treasure all the time I have had since then in a way I might not have otherwise. I have never stopped being grateful to the person who rescued me, and although I never found out who that person was and never had the chance to thank him personally, his random act of kindness not only saved my life, but changed my life.

In addition to being thankful, I will never forget what a stranger did for me. So, my advice to you is to think

about doing random acts of kindness. There are a myriad of ways to do so, and by doing so, you will at least brighten someone else’s day and you may even

save a life. Then, don’t tell anyone. Let it be your best kept secret.

Bullet point number 2 — Be a traveler, not just a tour-

ist. Visit different countries, experiment with languages, learn about different cultures. When you travel, I hope you discover the difference between being a tourist and being a traveler. There is nothing wrong with being a tourist. You can follow a tour guide with a sign or a flag, be fed a lot of interesting information and learn very much. But, when you are a traveler, you go off the beaten path, make discoveries and learn on your own. A couple of summers ago, I took a trip with one of my sisters and her husband to Slovakia, the homeland of my father’s family. They were from a small village outside of Bratislava called Kucyna (coo kee ña). The linguists among you probably figured out that Kuchyna means kitchen. Kucyna is a farming village and got its name because it was a place where travelers would stop for a meal before continuing their travels to Bratislava or elsewhere.

To get to this tiny village one Sunday morning, we took an Uber from Bratislava with a driver who had never heard of the village, but who was determined to get us to our destination. We set off with no plan other than to see the village that we heard about growing up and walk the streets of our ancestors. We were also hoping to see the family farm where my Great Aunt Katerina and her family were held captive by the Nazis during WWII. After we had been driving down the highway for a bit, a small sign saying Kucyna told us we had found the village. There were no shops, no restaurants, not even a town square, so the driver suggested leaving us off in front of the town church as a good place for us to start our exploration. As we were climbing the stairs to enter the church, a mass had already begun. We were commenting to each other selfconsciously about being late for mass, when a woman approached us laughing and said to us in English — oh don’t worry, I am late too, and I didn’t travel far to get here — I live right next door. After mass, she approached us and asked what we were doing in Kucyna since it is not a place that tourists frequent. She ended up inviting us to her home, even inviting neighbors over to help us find out about our father’s family. She

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drove us around the village and managed to show us the Remenar home, where my father grew up still standing and still occupied by Remenars.

Our newfound friend of a few hours, ending up driving us back to Bratislava taking us to sites along the way that we might not have seen otherwise had we been on a tour. This trip to the town of Kuchyna became the highlight of our trip and one of my happiest memories. The human connection was priceless and one we would not have made had we been on a tour.

So, while you travel, get out of your comfort zone and meet the locals. Find out how to say a few words in the language of whatever country you visit. When you turn 21, and, yes, I know it’s 18 or younger in some countries, also learn how to say cheers, salud, santé, and as we say in Slovak — naz dravie. But if nothing else, learn how to say please and thank you.

As a traveler, not just a tourist, you will see more and learn more than you could any other way and you may turn out to have experiences of a lifetime.

Bullet point number three, Passion, but not the Bridgerton type YET!:

As I mentioned previously, I was lucky enough to find my passion at a very young age, but even though teaching was my passion, the road was not always smooth. While I was studying at the National Autonomous University of Mexico in Mexico City, there was an incident that almost derailed my plans. I was in a program working towards certification as a Teacher of English as a Foreign Language, as a way to refresh my teaching. The program was drawing to a close, and I had prepared a lesson for a group of university students to be observed by a group of professors I had never met. After the class, I sat down with them to receive feedback. The lead professor, who knew nothing about me, other than that I was the gringa in the program, commented disparagingly that, although the class went well, if I wanted to be an effective English teacher I must work on my English pronunciation. At the time, I thought he was referring to my NY pronunciation of cawfee, dawg, awffice, Bawston and that he was trying to discourage me from finishing the program because I was a foreigner at their national university. In retrospect, I realized that my pronunciation problems stemmed from difficulty I had had with the International Phonetic Alphabet which took me some effort to overcome. For just a moment, I actually wavered, thinking — was I really going to be an effective teacher? And then I drew on what I had already learned as a teacher—that what is more vital than perfect pronunciation or perfect grammar is the desire to communicate effectively and the importance of patience with people who are struggling to do so. And, although the comment was hurtful, I didn’t let it or my challenges with the International Phonetic Alphabet discourage me.

So, whatever obstacles each of you finds along your path, and there will almost certainly be some, you can’t let them discourage you. And if you are not sure what your passion is, don’t worry. Just keep trying

things until you find it. And my wish for you is that when you DO find your passion, it will give you the sense of fulfillment and happiness that teaching you has given me.

Entonces, para concluir, So in conclusion, let me remind you, Class of 2021, that you are a special, multi-talented group of awesome young adults who have inspired me and others since the boat building day of your freshman year to the impressive senior project reflections and presentations. And let’s not forget all the plays, concerts, artwork, debates, science experiments, math competitions, games, matches, service-learning projects, PencilMan encounters, rapping of the alma mater and every other activity in which you engaged in your time at Hackley. I have every confidence that you will go forth from our Hilltop and through your travels spread beauty and light and be passionate not only about gaining knowledge but about giving to others and finding ways to make the world an even better place. I couldn’t be more proud of your growth and achievements and the people you have become. As I stand here, my heart is filled with gratitude for the pleasure and honor of working with you and enjoying your successes. Class of 2021—you’ve made us all proud. Job well done! I will conclude this speech the way I conclude my classes — Espero que hayan aprendido algo el día de hoy. I hope that you have learned something today.

Gracias, merci, shie shie, Da’kuyem, Arigato, asante, kham sa ham nee dah, shUk riya, and from the bottom of my heart — Thank you.