SADA April 2012

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SADA A VOICE AGAINST DRUG ADDICTION

Riffat Sadiq PhD (Fellow) Editor-in-Chief Safia Rafiq M Phil Associate Editor

Volume 15 April 2012

True Stories Messages Article Islam Against Drugs Golden Words Helpline

A Publication Of Drug Free Nation www.sada.drugfreenation.org


Contents

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Contents Al Quran Revenge and Drug Abuse Problems By Riffat Sadiq Children Learn From You By Erum Sultan Life Skills for Students to Combat Drug Abuse Problems By Safia Rafiq Talent is Nothing Without Sense of Right or Wrong From Sobriety to Success Harsh Parenting Brings Disaster Helpline Golden Words

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Al Al Quran Quran

They ask you about wine and gambling. Say, "In them is great sin and [yet, some] benefit for people. But their sin is greater than their benefit." And they ask you what they should spend. Say, "The excess [beyond needs]." Thus Allah makes clear to you the verses [of revelation] that you might give thought. Surah Albaqrah Ayat No 219

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Revenge & Drug Abuse Problems By Riffat Sadiq

According to Ysseldyk (2005), ''Revenge is an intense emotional state requiring relief, based on the perception and motivation that one has been wronged, rather than on rational thought, undifferentiated anger, or retributive justice" Revenge is usually taken to punish or treat the offender in the same way as he/she treated the offended person. Sometimes, this revenge is toward self as the result of severe guilt and having feelings of rejection/unfair treatment from the significant one and society. Desire to take revenge from either self or others may lead to psychosocial problems. Revenge is a potent factor for drug abuse problems among both men and women. A woman started taking heroin when her husband got married to other women without informing her. She worked hard to help her husband to grow economically. After being financially established, he got married to another woman without disclosing his first marriage. When she came to know about her husband's second marriage, she could not bear the psychological pain she felt due to her husband's fell in love with another woman. She did not accept her fate and continuously had questions for self (e.g, why did I work hard for him? why did I love him? I do I am at fault). One day, she experimented drugs to punish her self but unfortunately became a heroin addict. In another example, a 27 years old guy started taking cannabis and alcohol to take revenge from his parents. He reported that his parents did not accept the girl of his choice and his father wanted to treat him as puppet. He reported to be feeling happy to tease his parents. Having desires to take revenge or treating self and other in the same way after severe offense may clear the road to total destruction. Empirical studies should be carried out to discuss the consequences of revenge motivation, specifically indulgence in drug abuse. 4|P a g e


Children Learn From You By Erum Sultan

Four days back, when I was telling my children about the effects of using betel nut (Chalia), my 11 year old son responded quickly, "No, betel nut is not dangerous; grandmother is using it for a long time but nothing happened to her". I tried hard to make to him understand that betel nut destroys our teeth, stomach and concentration considering his mental level. I had difficulty to do so because of comparing his grandmother's health with those who are not using betel nut. Actually, my mother-in-law is very active and social type of person, can deal all sorts of people besides doing household chores appropriately. She also watches television with full interest that made my son wonder that her performance at all level is good enough up till now then how betel nut could be harmful for rest of the family members. Children are too innocent who merely perceive the things from surface. They are not able to pay a deep look inside the apparent behavior and learn by observing others. In a family, where elder use drugs and any substance such as betel nut, chewing tobacco, they present them as a role model for their youngest family members (children). They put their children at great risk to use these substances/drugs in future because children learn from us. At very early age, they have no other way but to experiment things by observing others. Therefore, it is our responsibility not to teach wrong behaviors to our innocent minds to copy them.

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Life Skills For Students to Combat Drug Abuse Problem

By Safia Rafiq

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ometimes, stressors come in our live from four directions that have profound

impact on us, impede our growth and social functioning. In the current era, students have multiple tasks to meet their academic objectives. While facing their academic competitors, they come across various problems that may hinder their performance. Sometimes, they have more or less same problems at educational institute and family as well, e.g, lack of assertiveness, communication problems. These problems are solved only by opting healthy solutions and are referred to as life skills. These life skills help in combating personal and as well as social problems. Absence of these skills results in emotional and academic problems that increase the chances of using drugs among students. Self-skills training pertaining to self-esteem, communication, decision-making, problem solving, and interpersonal relationships should be conducted for students. A student with good self-esteem and assertiveness may handle peer pressure effectively that is a dominating risk factor for drug abuse among youngsters. Similarly, student with problem solving skills can find the right solution for his or her problem instead of taking drugs. Furthermore, technically and emotionally skilled students will make strong and healthy nation.

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True Stories Talent is Nothing Without Sense of Right or Wrong I was very dearest to my family, specially my father because of my some unique qualities. I wanted to do different and unique things. I was social type of person and made many friends out of my residential area. Few of them were cannabis users. When I was in grade 8, I experimented cannabis. I did not have money to buy drugs; therefore I introduced the drugs successfully to my class fellow just to manage money for cannabis. Gradually, I shifted to heroin and could not complete my education. My family got me admitted to treatment center. After recovered from drug addiction, I was sent to Dubai where I used to drink. I used to visit Pakistan after months without informing my family. I used a lot of heroin in three days. When my father passed away, I came back to Pakistan forever. I started working as business development officer till 2007. During that time, I also used medicines that resulted in serious health problems. I could not continue my career and now spending my life in a treatment centre being a serious patient. I do not know where my addiction would take me.

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True Stories From Sobriety to Success

I belonged to an educated family. My father was employed in a renowned company but used to busy in his work. Having appeared in graduation exam, I had no other activity except sitting with friends just to pass the time. The friends with I used to spend most of my time were alcohol users. One day, they offered me alcohol and I could not resist. Eventually, I became alcohol user. After having degree of bachelor, I joined a company. I kept using alcohol besides doing job. One day, I drank a lot and fell on garbage. When I got my conscious I felt guilty. I requested my mother to get me admitted in the hospital. I got treatment for one month but I relapsed soon. One of my friends introduced me to heroin. After becoming heroin addict, I reached to street and passed my time under the bridge. I lost my health and job. My family took me back to home. When I was sleeping, my family called outreach workers to take me to treatment centre. Out reach workers tried to convince me to get treatment. I agreed to go with them. I got treatment for four months and now I am in recovery for one year.

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True Stories Harsh Parenting Brings Disaster I belonged to a religious family and was given a lot of respect from community. My father was very strict and he tried to handle us in traditional way. Therefore, I liked to stay out of home. Whenever, I came back home after 2 or 3 days, my father used to punish me that made me more rebellion. I had developed anger and hatred feelings toward my father and home. My younger brother was also suffering from same problems. He gave up his education and used drugs to escape from his problems. When my both parents died, family property was handed over to my elder brother. After taking over the family property, my brother changed his attitude toward all of us. He never helped younger brother to get rid of drugs. Sisters are married and their husbands do not allow them to meet their addict brother. My younger brother is now a heroin addict. Many times I tried to help him but he could not recover. He was youngest in my family and was very dear to us. Now, I feel very sad to see him in miserable condition

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Help line Q-1: I am disturbed due to the conflict with my husband. My husband does not do job and spend most of his time here and there. I tried many times to convince him but he is not ready to take initiative. I and intermediate and give tuition to children at home to run money and also provided some monetary help from sisterin-law and my brother. I have two children and I need money for them and myself. I remained worried and even could not get proper sleep. I consulted general physician who prescribed tranquilizer that made me relaxed a lot. But gradually I felt that I could not go to bed and without taking medicine. Kindly suggest me what I should do? Amber, Karachi

A- First you should consult psychotherapist to overcome your apprehension. Psychotherapy will help you to identify the problem in order to find proper solution that medicine can never do. Once you learn to stop your worrying habits, you will get go in right direction. Your actual problem is with your husband who does not work to support you. There are women who are working hard to support them and have set the examples for others. You can do short courses and get vocational training to build technical skills. You can also continue your studies as a private candidate. You are lucky to have support from sister-in-law and your brother. Many women in our society are not given a single penny by any family member. Therefore, pay attention to whatever the resources you have and strive for future.

DFN

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Help line Q-2: I am 31 year old, married and having one daughter. After one year of marriage, I separated from my parents to please my wife. My parents got angry but my wife did not want to live my parents. Even I did not support to my parents and siblings. Now, I am using cannabis and my wife is not ready to live with me having fear that I will be a heroin addict one day. She says that it is easy for her to raise a single child alone but not two or three children. She is asking for divorce. When I asked for help from my parents they refused to do so because I had left them for the sake of my wife. I do not want to divorce my wife. How can I convince my wife to live with me forever?

Nabil, Karachi

A-Only request can never work out. Even verbal agreement can not bring your wife back. You will have to prove that you are ready to get rid of addiction. First you get treatment for your addiction from hospital that is exclusively providing treatment to drug addicts. After treatment, you will have to keep in touch with your treatment centre to maintain your recovery. Your few months of recovery will be the only way to restore your family relations. But one thing keep in mind that few months recovery does not mean that you are drug free, you will have to strive for three years to prove yourself a successful recovering person. Few months of recovery will help your family to realize that drug addiction can be cured. DFN Names and places of senders have been changed to ensure the confidentiality. Keep sending queries without hesitation to Drug Free Nation (DFN) at dfn.pak@gmail.com

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Golden words I Can Breathe Again By Elizabeth - 2010 I can breathe again Whispers in the wind Telling me That our lives can Be lived Sober and Free From all the pain and anguish That consumed Our lives I can breathe again No more pain Inflicted on you From me.... Having to break those vows Of life For What? Why? Through those steps In that Big ass book You and I will learn To Breathe Again Retrieved from http://www.addictionz.com/recovery_poems.htm

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