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RAVE SEX...7 WAYS TO MAKE HIM MOAN!! THE ULTIMATE.... ULTIMATIUM

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5 ways YOU are Sabotaging your relationship!


7 Scorching Sex Tricks That’ll Send Him Through the Roof

try these naughty and totally novel bedroom tactics written by Cara Birnbaum

If there’s one absolute must-have when it comes to claiming great-inbed status, it’s a signature move — a completely original carnal maneuver that will make him never want any other woman again. Maybe it’s a wrist flick that turns a ho-hum hand job into an award-winning performance. Or an oral-sex trick that locks you in his memory forever. To help inspire you, we found seven frisky femmes whose turn-himon techniques are so creative they should be trademarked.

Then we pumped their boyfriends for the lowdown on how these tactics rate on the sexual Richter scale. (Names have been changed to protect the not-so-innocent.) Read on to learn how to crib these easy-to-master moves — plus the scoop on how to develop your own! A lot depends on recognizing that moment when he’s about to explode. And it’s not that easy, because every guy is different. “He may hold his breath or get very intense in his thrusting; he may start making sounds or, on the contrary, he may get very silent,” says Laurence Levine, M.D., associate professor of urology and director of the Male Sexual Function Clinic at Rush-Presbyterian St. Luke’s Medical Center in Chicago. Pay attention to the subtle cues that signal he’s about to come let him know it turns you on to know what’s going on inside his head.


Try a Bit of Bondage

up your desire.”

Naughty move: On a night your guy is coming over to hang out, masturbate alone just before you’re going to see him, but don’t let yourself climax. To bring yourself right to the edge without going over, close your eyes and imagine your guy’s lips taking the place of your hand. Squeeze your PC muscles for a count of five as you massage your clitoris, then stop moving. Stay naked Naughty move: Lie on the bed with until he shows up, and let him see your hands tied together, and let him the flush that naturally spreads over your body as you near orgasm. Then devour you. Have him start with a describe for him what you’ve been tease by holding his first and secup to. He’ll put together an irresistond fingers in a V, placing them on either side of your clitoris, and mas- ible mental image of you self-pleasuring that will build his desire so saging in a scissoring motion. Then he can use side-to-side motions with that when you have sex, it’ll be an incredible release for you both. his tongue to get you really worked up. “A lot of guys go up and down, but that makes for more pressure Handle His Package on such a sensitive spot, which can be too intense,” says sex educator Usually for foreplay, you touch him Jamye Waxman. “Side to side feels so he’s hard, but stroking him unmore relaxing and arousing.” til he climaxes is rarely the main event. “Once a couple start having Give Him a Peep Show sex, hand jobs often stop,” says sex educator Sadie Allison, author of Much of arousal is driven by what Ride ‘Em Cowgirl! Manhandling him we see — especially for guys. “Many will show your dirty desire to take men love watching a woman get charge. turned on. It lets them know what gets her going and makes them feel Naughty move: Surprise him with like they’re doing something illicit a hand job when he least expects it. by just sitting back and enjoying the While he’s chilling on the couch, cudshow,” says sexologist Sari Locker, dle up next to him, trail your fingers PhD, author of The Complete Idiot’s down his chest, and unbutton his Guide to Amazing Sex. “And it’s pants. As you grab him, whisper that great for women too. Seeing how a you’re doing all the work this time. guy reacts to watching you pumps Getting tied up instantly boosts the sexual energy because it brings in the element of vulnerability. “When you’re bound, you’re completely at the mercy of your partner’s urges, which is exciting. Plus, you can focus entirely on being pleasured since you’re not able to reciprocate,” says Gloria Brame, PhD, a sex therapist in Georgia.



scenario like you’re meeting for the first time. Before you approach him, flirt with a few guys (totally innocently). Then make your way over to him, and introduce yourself as whomever you want to be—like Annette, the sexy exec on a business trip. Let others overhear your conversation, since some of the fun is performing for an audience. After a bit of small talk, tell him you want him to come home with you or vice versa, and stay in character all night long. Try this grip to really wow him: Put Test-Drive Twisty, Torrid one hand at the base of his shaft Positions and the other right on top of it. Then firmly grip him as you move your Nothing screams naughty like prohands in opposite directions, twisting viding a view and finding new angles at the same time. neither of you is used to. One tip: “Do it in various parts of your house, Have Stranger Sex because it’ll force you to accommodate your positions to the different When you pretend you’re someone obstacles,” says Cadell. else, you completely change the rules. For one, you both naturally be- Naughty move: Take the action to come much more daring as you act. the couch. Have him stand up and Also, you have to be creative to play enter you from behind as you kneel the part, and that means coming on the cushions. “There’s something up with all sorts of naughty things hot about standing-up sex, and doyour character might be into. “With ing it in a semipublic room makes it role-play, you can more easily move feel taboo,” says Allison. Hell, you’re outside your comfort zone and endoing it where your parents and joy extreme sensations and positions friends will be sitting. You can deepyou wouldn’t normally try together,” en the penetration by lifting one leg says Cadell. so that your foot is flat on the seat of the couch and you’re leaning back Naughty move: Pretend you and against his chest. your guy are complete strangers. Set up a time for both of you to be at the same bar, and play out the



CAN HOOKING UP WITH A CO-WORKER BE SUCCESFUL? written by Jennifer Ibe

“Your job, your stress, and your heart is not worth the gamble.” No one can deny attractions, but how about if it was a coworker? Someone you see every day, conference meetings, break rooms and just on the go? Would you resist the temptationor dabble in some work time fun.

I honestly don’t see any advantages at all”, states Chris Elliott, 26, financial advisor. “I guess in a weird twisted way it’s good seeing someone every day, but why would I want to see you there”?! Dating is already difficult for most, but juggling work and a lover doesn’t sit well with most. “Now I have been attracted to woman at my job, of course. But I don’t want to mess with my money and woman and money don’t work well for me at this job,” claims Chisom Agada, 23, engineer. A woman’s perspective at times greatly differs from a man’s. Recent college graduate, Alexandria Smith, 22, psychologist states dating a coworker is not that bad.


“I get to see him everyday. We both understand the demands and the stress of ouir jobs and I would be more inclined to talk to him about it...and just knowing that he’s around close by makes me feel good and it makes my day go by quicker at times.” Dating a co-worker is a very touchy subject for most and the prime reason to avoid any complications. I completely agree that office love is more complicated than the hassle. Dating a co-worker is like bring sand to the beach, doesn’t make much sense, right? Exactly! Your job, your stress, your heart is not worth the gamble.

Peter Pearson, a psychologist specializing in couples therapy, puts it, dating a coworker is like “walking through a minefield with big clown shoes.” Why? Because so often we jump freely and willingly into a relationship without considering all the consequences. Sound familiar? I thought so. This can be especially hard if this person is a superior or someone with whom we work closely or regularly. “If the focus of your desires is in your line of authority, such as your boss or your subordinate, you’re on very risky ground,” says Jerry Talley, a former Stanford professor and therapist. “People can lose jobs and get sued. Best to keep your feelings to yourself.” Mixing work and play, and not keeping the separation between our individual lives and our dating lives that we’re used to, can pose relationship-ending dangers at the best of times. It’s obviously worse if you’re interested in someone with whom you work on a daily or regular basis. But even if they are in a separate department or on a different floor, making sure you’re not bringing your relationship with you to work each day adds even more stress. So you have to decide: Is all the fuss and bother worth it to you? “If the person is a coworker, are you prepared to have them as an exlover, working on projects, sitting in meetings?,” Talley mentions.



relationship. This is not always an esay task.

While some people don’t mix business with pleasure, others decide it’s okay to date someone in the workplace. In doing so, you need to consider a few things. Will there be any repercussions if the relationship turns sour? Are you dating your boss or another upper level manager? If you’re considering dating or having a relationship with some one you work with, first find out if the company allows it. Many times companies frown upon managers getting involved with employees on a personal level. Some companies will even go so far as to fire anybody they know is violating this workplace agreement. Losing a job over a relationship is to me, never worth it. Another thing to consider is how the rest of the employees take it. Will there be a lot of gossip going around the office? Some offices have more of that than others making it a very uncomfortable situation to be in. You can always choose to hide your

Most times there will be some nosy coworker who will find out. Sometimes people get annoyed when they find out two coworkers are dating. This is especially true if one is upper level management and the other just got a promotion. There is sure to be people in the office that will complain about it and say it’s because “so and so” are dating the boss. Not only will this affect you but also hinder any team environment the office once had. It may affect how the office is run. If you feel you can’t pass up the opportunity to date a co-worker, you can always consider moving to another department. This will definitely alleviate any bad feelings the other coworkers might have. As long as you are both in different departments, it doesn’t seem unprofessional. Of course if you are both in the same department you will have to face the fact that if the relationship ends, you’ll be stuck working with your ex. Is that going to be a problem for you? I know for me personally, I would not want to have to work 40 hours a week with any ex. Sexual harassment is an issue you may want to consider mulling over in your mind before deciding to date a co-worker. So if you’re considering dating a co-worker, carefully think about the consequences. Are you prepared if they don’t?


HOW TO SCORE YOUR MAN

Just the idea of finding Mr. Right can cause extreme worry, stress, dread and the occasional pit pat of butterflies that means perhaps, maybe sort of and finally a man has come into your life that probably maybe could be and might be- perfect! Could it really be true that there is a man on the planet that doesn’t disgust you so far beyond comprehension that he could be considered Mr. Right? The answer lies in how willing someone is to be Mrs. Right! Finding a soul mate is the oldest quest of man. Humans are not solitary people that were born to tread the surface of the Earth with only the thoughts and feelings in their own head. The way humans feel and the emotions that humans experience makes them the perfect

creature to experience love with another. ingle person whose heart is imprinted with their name? If this is true, than why do so many women and men wander alone, completely unable to find that one Finding someone to love is easy. Finding some one that makes you happy, makes you smile and can break your heart with one word is easy. Finding someone whose body feels good, who looks good and whose companionship is fun is also easy. What is difficult is finding someone that is all of these things wrapped into one without any of the negative side effects that people always seem to cause. It stands to reckon that in order to find Mr. Right; Mrs. Right must have evolved from the dreamy young girl who romantically imagines that love will solve everything to a mature woman who can see the forest for the trees! Being realistic is essential to finding Mr. Right in a world where so many things can go wrong. The second step to finding Mr. Right is to realize that you can control your reaction, actions, thoughts, feeling sand emotions but you cannot control someone else’s! People behave the way they do because of themselves, not because someone made them do it. Whether Mr. Right acts poor or perfect is in no way a reflection of your self worth.


What you can do is learn to control Does his vast ability to relax anhow you react and the path that your noy you to your inner core, or do his emotions follow. ?other qualities somehow make up for his lacks! The answer truly defines whether or not this one is Mr. Some things can be overlooked while Right or not. If you feel that you can others determine character flaws live with his dirty underwear on your that the inner you will resist against. bathroom floor for eternity because Listen to how you feel, what you his thoughtfulness and love are so think in your own mind and take great – then you finally know what it your cues from your own intuition. feels like to have found Mr. Right! Most of the time, someone starts out feeling like Mr. Right – but in due time your thoughts will tell you the truth. Pay attention. So many people Often times, the perfect perceived ignore what they feel for fear of becompanion turns out to truly wreck ing alone. It is much worse to feel the foundation of life that you have alone in a relationship than it is to built from your inner core of thinkfeel alone by yourself! ing. Reason whether the heartbreak is because you loved someone so, or whether you are simply devastated by your own disappointment. Each The third step is to realize that evrelationship with Mr. Wrong has hapery person, including you has flaws. pened to play the the role of teacher People snore and curse, are rude and in your life. Take what you can learn chew with their mouth open. After and graduate to the next level with a the relationship cools off, both partsense of pride and accomplishment. ners become relaxed in a comfort If you do not or cannot do this, you zone that can be more than appealwill keep bumping into men that only ing. This is a glimpse at married life. offer you the same lesson. Decide what you can live with and imagine yourself sitting next to your pot bellied, hairy, couch potato boyfriend for the rest of your life.



Shocking ways your Sabotaging your Relationship!! to say that he’s not the marrying kind? And then when they break up, he turns around and proposes to some bitch (and we do mean bitch!), three months later. 2. You Overcommunicate

“You may be the best damn girlfriend on the planet… but if you're guilty of any of these bad habits, you could be putting your connection with your man at risk.” By Christie Griffin 1. You Give and Give and Give and Give Have you heard the one about the doting girlfriend who gave her heart to a guy for three years, only for him

With all the Facebooking, tweeting, IMing, e-mailing, and texting going on, it might feel impossible to not communicate a lot with your boyfriend or husband, at least indirectly. But all that extraneous info about what you're doing dissolves your alluring mystery, warns Ian Kerner, PhD, sex therapist and author of She Comes First. “I actually defriended my wife on Facebook,” he admits. “We’ve all heard the phrase that familiarity breeds contempt, but in this age of social networking, perhaps familiarity breeds something worse: boredom.” Keep some of your mystery — and mask your mundane day-to-day life — by resisting the urge to check in with your guy constantly.


And ditch all the dumb updates about what you had for breakfast. We promise you that

Cares.

No. One.

3. You Air All Your Frustrations to Your Friends Admit it: A good venting sesh with your girls feels great. You get to rant about how you think your man was checking out another girl last Saturday, or how you can’t believe he wants to buy a new car when he could be saving that money for an engagement ring. But constantly telling your friends your guy gripes — even the smallest stuff — can sabotage your relationship, says Gunther. “Your friends want to support you, will sympathize with you, and won’t challenge you,” explains Gunther. “So then everyone comes away from the chat with the deep opinion that your boyfriend or husband is usually in the wrong.” All your bitching and moaning can have a lasting effect on how your friends feel about your guy, and eventually they’ll stop supporting your relationship because they remember every last jerky thing he’s done. Not good. So, bottom line? You don’t have to cut the chick chat altogether…but tone it down, and be sure to tell them about the nice things he does every once in a while too.

You’ll feel much better about your relationship overall if you remind yourself from time to time that he’s a good guy.



How to ROCK A FIRST DATE!

By Molly Triffin “First, forget about all the clueless advice you’ve ever heard before. Next, get ready to blow him away ... and actually enjoy yourself while you’re at it.” Nothing invites bad advice like a first date — wear this, say that, and don’t under any circumstances say that — all with the aim of captivating a guy you’re not even sure you like ... yet. Not only are those so-called rules the opposite of fun (and isn’t having fun the point here?), but they also can end up backfiring.

Who wants to seem stiff or eager to please because you’re following some lame set of guidelines rather than just being yourself? Which — trust us — is always more appealing than any script. "The best strategy for a great first date is to go into it with the goal of simply enjoying yourself, instead of harboring an agenda to win him over," says Lionel Tiger, PhD, a Charles Darwin professor of anthropology at Rutgers University and author of The Decline of Males. "That way, you'll also come across as tenacious and carefree, which are intrinsically attractive qualities."


Live in the Now If you and this guy clicked when you met, it’s tempting to leap into the future mentally — could he be The One? Stop right there and rein in your expectations or you won’t have fun. "If you place too much importance on the encounter, you'll spend the whole evening evaluating how it's going and stressing about whether you'll see him again," explains Sheenah Hankin, PhD, a psychotherapist in New York and author of Complete Confidence. "This prevents you from fully experiencing what's happening in the present." That also means you're not as engaged — or engaging — as you could be. Remind yourself that it’s only one evening, and then just relax and let go. “A first date is an experiment,” says Tiger. “Adopt the laissez-faire attitude that it might work out or

or it may not And, hey, even if the sparks ultimately aren’t there, the night’s not a wash. You’ll probably come away with new insight or an interesting story to add to your repertoire.



THE ULTIMATIUM THAT EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW HOW TO DEAL WITH..... MARRIAGE It's a relationship myth that giving your guy an ultimatum will mess things up. As a matter of fact, it may be exactly what he needs. "If you've been together for a while and he's not moving things forward with a proposal, you really should have a serious conversation to get what you need," says relationship therapist Krista Bloom, PhD, author of The Ultimate Compatibility Quiz. Here's the catch: Men are notoriously skittish about "till death do us part," so having The Talk is a delicate business.

When to Bring It Up

Every couple sets a different relationship pace, so there's no rule that says you should be discussing a proposal after X amount of time. That said, there are some guidelines you can abide by. If you've been together for only four or five months, it's too soon to detail what kind of ring you lust after. At this point, you're still getting to know each other, and it may weird him out. At the same time, it's not realistic to wait years before bringing it up. "After you've been in a serious, monogamous relationship for a year, it's reasonable to want to talk to him about your future," says Bloom.

How to Do It

If you're not careful, issuing an ultimatum can sound like a threat and make your guy feel like a caged animal. To avoid freaking him out, it's vital to be firm but calm. The best way to make sure you’ll stay relaxed is to talk to him as soon as you realize marriage has been on your mind fre-

quently. “If you wait until your feelings are boiling over, you’re bound to sound impatient, which may make him stop listening to you,” says Anthony Riche, PhD, author of Finally! How to Stop Dating Losers Forever. When you start getting those persistent wedding-bell urges, find a nonstressful time

Then, be direct. "Men don't do well with hints, so telling him flat out what you want will reap the best results," says Bloom. Tell him you picture him as your husband and that you want to know if he's on the same page. Or try "I love being with you and want to move our relationship forward. I need to know if you feel the same."

Now Back Off

Finally, you can't expect him to propose immediately. Remember, you've had time to let everything percolate, but this is new to him. "Give him a few weeks to think about his feelings on marriage," says Riche. Make a date to have a follow-up convo, and don't bring it up again before then. Once he makes a decision, it's up to you where you go from there. "You can invite a man to propose, but you can't force him. If he's really not ready, you have to decide if you want to wait for him or move on," says Bloom.


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