16 January 2014 Cover 1
volume fourteen issue four
ALTITUDE
Hanford High School | Richland, Wash. 99354 | Jan.16.2014
families 2 CONCRETE IDEAS
Following the removal of the concrete letters at Fran Rish stafium last week, some community members responded negatively. A school board meeting on Jan. 14 addressed the public outrage at the letters’ removal. See the editorial board’s response on
The concrete “H” and “R” were removed from the hill above Fran Rish Stadium with no public notice, inspiring a public outcry.
4 WRESTLING WITH WEIGHT
Junior Caleb Brown: ““My opinion on cutting weight is it sucks, along with the brutal practices.” Jourdan Plante investigates the ins and outs of making weight.
sawyer henry
photographer
Tuesday night the swim team dominated Selah, 123-54. The seniors are particularly strong this year, but the younger swimmers are ready to take their place. For full article, see page 5.
photo courtesy of will wertz
9 MUSIC STUDENTS MEASURE UP
Five musicians from our school and many others around the region competed at the Young Artist Competition at Chief Joseph Middle School on Jan. 11.
8 “42ND STREET”
may be up your alley. The Hanford Center Stage’s musical production about a Broadway show promises to be another great performance.
11 OLYMPIC CONTROVERSY Russia has passed several laws of questionable morality. Read one editor’s opinion.
2 Buzz 16 January 2014
MURMURS
The concrete “H,” representing Hanford High, has been taken out of the Fran Rish Stadium, along with the concrete “R,” representing Richland High. The Jan. 14 school board meeting provided public input about the controversial action and discussion about possible courses of action to appease the community’s sense of pride in their traditions.
WHAT HAVE YOU HEARD IN THE NEWS?
They’re taking away the past.” Jacob Ellis senior Last week, letters at the Fran Rish Stadium were removed. See “#KeeptheTradition” for more.
sawyer henry
They found a new ligament in the knee.” Ketsia Kahambwe sophomore Two orthopaedic surgeons have recently confirmed the existence of a new ligament in the knee, suggested by French surgeon Paul Legond in 1879. This discovery may explain complications in some knee operations, when the anterolateral ligment (A.L.L.) had yet to be considered in practice.
My song went up to state in Reflections.” Karissa Wallace freshman Freshman Karissa Wallace participated in the 2013-2014 Reflections contest, and her work has gone through the school and district judgings to reach the state level. This year’s theme is “Believe, Dream, Inspire.” Possible categories of competition are film production, dance choreography, literature, music composition, photography and visual arts.
Coming Up: Jan. 17 Jan. 20 Jan. 21 Jan. 26 Jan. 31Feb. 8 Jan. 31 Feb. 2 Feb. 2 Feb. 7-23 Feb. 14 Feb. 17 Feb. 22
End of First Semester M.L.K. Day (no school) Semester Day (no school) Australian Day “42nd Street” Chinese New Year Groundhog Day Super Bowl Winter Olympics Valentine’s Day Presidents’ Day (no school) Sadie Hawkins Dance
photographer
#KEEPTHETRADITION Tuesday night, community members filled the board room to comment on the removal of concrete letters at two Richland schools. Board members heard complaints and criticism about management decisions. The 30- to 40-foot-tall “R” and “H” concrete letters representing, respectively, Richland High School and Hanford High School, were removed last week from the Fran Rish Stadium. Also taken out of commission was the “C” at Carmichael Middle School. News of the removal came as a surprise to many, as it was unprecedented; the vast majority of the faculty and students at Hanford were unaware of the planned change before the letters had already been taken out. “I was really surprised,” math teacher Greg Kelly said. “I know it means a lot to a lot of people.” Even our assistant principal Tory Christensen was in the dark. “Like everybody else, I was surprised,” Christensen said. “I think what maybe could have been done a little better was communication.” Despite the initial surprise, alumni, parents, students and staff responded to the unexpected removal quickly. A Facebook page, “Keep the Tradition,” was created on Saturday, Jan. 11, to respond to the decision for the removal of the
letters. Now, the page has gathered more than 2,000 likes, in the process prompting school board officials to address the massive response. An official apology for the sudden removal of the letters was posted on the Richland School District website. In the post, school board officials Rick Schulte, the district superintendent, and school board president Rick Jansons express regret: “We apologize to the many alumni and current students of Hanford and Richland High Schools and to the community members whom we have offended by removing the letters.” Richland High students poured the concrete “R” in 1967. More than a decade later, the “H” was added to the stadium and the “C” to the Carmichael Middle School hill. “It’s always hard to see things change,” Christensen said, referring to the community’s reaction to the issue. “It’s hard to do something like that and see it taken out.” Removal of the letters was due to stadium renovations and safety concerns. The slick paint on the letters has caused injuries in the past. Most members of the community, however, do not regard the letters as particularly dangerous. “I don’t think it’s much more of a hazard than other things in life,” Kelly said. Sophomore Holly Harris agreed. “I think that taking them out was not the best way to solve the problem,” she said. “They’ve been there for a long time.”
the falcon report: behind the scenes Here’s how production works...
GRAPHICS
ANCHORS CAMERAS TELEPROMPTER
EDITING
...and all of this is put together during first hour every day by our Falcon Report staff.
the next day
Anchors write the script the night before the Falcon Report airs.
They put in the final labels on segments.
They come up with segment ideas, report on stories, and check info.
FILMING
DECA POWERS TO STATE
To state and (hopefully) beyond! On Dec. 12, 35 Hanford High School DECA students competed in the Area 6 DECA Competition at the Three Rivers Convention Center. DECA is a group of business and marketing students. Club advisor Dan Hansen said, “Students prepared by using old tests and role plays from past years.” The hard work paid off because 22 students qualified to go to the state conference on March 6 in Bellevue, Washington. Hanford DECA students placed in several events. Senior Minji Kim competed in the Retail Merchandising category, received second place overall, and was a finalist for her test score and for her role-play interview. Kim has been involved in DECA since
her sophomore year and is now both Hanford DECA and Area 6 DECA’s vice president. She prepares for competitions by studying past tests and “brushing up on some marketing terms,” she said. “No nervousness equals an amazing role play.” Senior Brooklyn Fisher explained that he and his partner Grant Mickelson prepare by “getting pumped, doing chest bumps and such.” Fisher has been involved in DECA since the beginning of last year. “It is super fun to be in a complete business setting,” Fisher said. “It appeals to my competitive nature.” Fisher and Mickelson look forward to competing at the state conference as a team after winning second place in the Sports and Entertainment Marketing Team Decision Making category. The rest of the 22 Hanford DECA state qualifiers similarly anticipate the state conference.
daniel hansen
contributer
Seniors Brooklyn Fisher, Grant Mickelson, Anthony Porcaro and Aaron Enderlin pose for a picture after the awards ceremony. Pocaro and Aaron received third place, while Fisher and Mickelson took second place.
16 January 2014 School&Career 3
JOB SPOTLIGHT:
JOBS BOARD
16+ Sears
Senior Kristen Campbell: Janitor at Kadlec
Sales Associate Kennewick Apply online www.sears.com
What do you do? I clean the bathrooms, mop the exam rooms, and sweep and vacuum, wipe down everything and clean the windows and take out the garbage. What do you like about your job? Well, it’s nice because it’s really flexible, and so I can still study and stuff or take time off. Also, it’s later at night, so you can do other activities before work. What don’t you like about your job? It can be gross sometimes, but I mean it’s a janitor job, so whatever! Has anything interesting happened while working? No, not really, unless you count dripping mop juice everywhere or a vacuum breaking or locking yourself out of the building.
Starbucks
Barista Richland Apply online www.starbucks.com
Gap
Sales Associate Kennewick Apply online www.gap.com
Old Navy
Sales Associate Kennewick Apply online www.oldnavy.com
Interview conducted by Shibani Datta.
courtesy of kristen campbell
WHAT WE GAVE FOR A CAUSE Stuffed Animal Drive
Donated two full boxes to the pediatric floor at Kadlec Hospital.
Canned Food Drive
Collected 7,121 cans Top collectors: Mrs. Stordeur • 2,660 Mr. Covington • 2,246 Mr. Faix • 463
Coats for Kids
Shoes for Love
Collected 72 coats.
Collected 238 pairs of shoes, which were donated to people in Burkina Faso.
Giving Tree
Second period classes were assigned a child, and we were able to make Christmas happen for 20 children.
Information collected by Joel Staudinger.
CHINESE FOOD AND SUSHI
image from dreamstime.com
Sales Associate Richland Apply online www.maurices.com
McDonald’s
Team Member Kennewick Apply online www.mcstate.com/careers
Target
Merchandise Flow Team Manager Kennewick Apply online www.target.com
18+
Gymboree
Sales Lead Kennewick Apply online www.gymboree.com
Star West Satellite
Dish Network Technician Kennewick/Pasco/Richland
SAKURA 130 KEENE RD, RICHLAND SUSHI SPECIAL SUN - WED 4 PM - CLOSE 509.628.8602
Maurices
Apply online www.starwestsatellite.com
Sportsman’s Warehouse
Cashier Kennewick Apply online www.sportsmanswarehouse .com
RadioShack
Retail Sales Associate Richland Apply online www.radioshack.com
PetCo
$3.99 Shrimp Tempura Roll $3.99 Spicy Tuna Roll $3.99 California Roll BUY 1 GET 1 FREE: $2.50 Maguro (Tuna) $2.25 Ebi (Shrimp) $2.25 Tako (Octopus) $1.95 Saba (Mackerel) $2.00 Masago (Smelt Fish Roe) $2.25 Sake (Salmon) $1.95 Suzuki (Striped Bass) $2.75 Hamachi (Yellowtail) $1.75 Kani (Crab Stick)
Cashier Richland Apply online www.petco.com
Home Depot
Freight Team Associate Kennewick Apply online www.homedepot.com
American Eagle
Overnight Merchandising Associate Kennewick Apply in person
Information collected by Jane Moon.
4 Sports 16 January 2014
jourdan plante
PLANTE on sports
B.C.S. is no more The Bowl Championship Series (B.C.S.) has been the crown jewel of college football for over 14 years. After a very exciting decade and a half, however, it is over. There have been many arguments about whether or not the B.C.S. is really the way to determine the best two teams. The National Collegiate Athletic Association (N.C.A.A.) has thought up a simple solution to these arguments: replace the bowl games with playoffs. No more Rose Bowl, Fiesta Bowl or any of the others. This change is happening because there are complaints that it isn’t fair that the two top-ranked teams automatically go to the championship. The B.C.S. has held some of the most exciting games in football history. When it comes to competitiveness, there is almost nothing that compares to a B.C.S. bowl. However, it is coming to an end, and a new era of college football is going to emerge. Instead of having the standard bowl games and the two-team championship game, there will be a fourteam playoff series to see who comes out on top. It seems a bit confusing at first—why only four teams, and not six or eight? It’s hard to say what people will think about the new College Football Playoffs (C.F.P.). The only problem that may arise during this switch in the system is the issue of the player opinions. What if they don’t like this new system? What if they boycott the system? These are questions of pessimists, and they are absolute worst-case scenarios. Maybe it will be better this way, having a playoff instead of a bowl series. If it happens to turn out badly, they can always switch back to the old system. Some think that this change would be better and worse at the same time: it wouldn’t be as interesting because the Southeastern Conference (S.E.C.) would dominate the leaderboards, and there would be no excitement to it. However, the N.C.A.A. took that into account and made a fool proof plan to get rid of that variable. They will keep the Rose Bowl, the Sugar Bowl and the Orange Bowl. After those games, solely the winning teams will move on.
next
UP
MAKE IT OR BREAK IT nismeta kabilovic
editor
Senior Will Bishop stands on the scale used to determine if wrestlers “make weight” in wrestling. Much work goes into reducing and maintaining weight in wrestling: wrestlers have to keep track of their diets and make sure that they stay on certain exercise schedules to stay in their weight class or move down a weight class.
Throughout the wrestling season, athletes have to remain vigilant in order to maintain weight eligibility and get ready for the challenges ahead. The challenge almost everyone faces is making the weight requirement for a certain class. It’s not just meeting the requirement—it’s making good weight, which is not easy. “Cutting weight can be difficult at times,” sophomore Jared Shahan said, “but if you do it correctly, it can be very easy.” The whole concept of
dropping and making weight is to be the best of that weight class. Wrestlers try to be as light as possible but still just as strong. That way, they will dominate just about everyone they face on the mat. But it’s not a walk in the park. It takes some sacrifices to achieve the weight they want to make. For example, most wrestlers can’t just eat fast food such as McDonald’s or Taco Bell anytime they want. “I cut off all junk food and try to eat healthy and exercise a lot,” senior Will Bishop said. Junk food doesn’t fuel the body. Although anyone, even
athletes, can eat junk food, some decide not to from the beginning of the season. It’s survival of the fittest in a sense. The wrestlers who are mentally and physically capable of making weight will certainly do so. “My opinion on cutting weight is it sucks, along with the brutal practices,” sophomore Caleb Brown said. “You don’t know how good water is until you’ve been cutting weight for 10 days.” Some wrestlers never need to try to make weight in the first place. The lightweights and the heavyweights are respectively below 106 pounds
and above 220 pounds, and they do not need to try to make weight. These wrestlers are envied because they can eat whatever they want, and they can get away with being five or more pounds under at every weigh-in. It’s a different story for each weight class, but most of them involve having to drop five to 15 or more pounds. However, wrestlers are not allowed to drop weight in an unhealthy manner. The hydration test, called the Washington State specific gravity test, consists of a urine test and a skin-fold test. The male wres-
tlers cannot go below seven percent of the alpha weight and for females it is twelve percent below. They usually take the test before the preseason, when weight means the most. But the lighter and stronger they are, the more likely they are to win. Wrestling head coach Dom Duncan said his expectation is “that [the wrestlers] follow the weight-loss decent plan, so they drop weight in a healthy way. It has been proven through years of scientific research.”
BOWLERS GO DOWN THE LANE One ball, ten pins and two chances: this is what each player on the girls bowling team faces every season. Some people may play bowling as a hobby, but here bowling is a serious sport. “We have fun at practices,” senior Charlotte Leinen said, “but once we step onto the lanes on game day, our mindset changes. Time to get serious.” Bowling, often considered an individual sport, requires a team to do well. Coach Tim Faix said, “The players are friendly and comfortable with each other when I shift players around to maintain the strongest varsity team.” No matter what, the
team will remain a family. Just like any other sport, bowling takes hard work and dedication. Precision and accuracy are necessary to do well. One miscalculation could turn a strike into a gutter ball. The way to conquer such a hazard is a lot of practice. “We bowl game after game with Mr. Faix critiquing our form,” Leinen said. Practices are 3 p.m. to 5 p.m. Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays, with matches on Tuesdays and Thursdays. “The girls bowl for one to two hours at Atomic, doing repetition with standard 10 pin frames,” Faix said. They discuss strategy and goals and also analyze videos and individual technique.
ainsley gettis
photographer
Senior Charlotte Leinen prepares to release her ball down the lane and strike the ten pins waiting down the lane. Girls bowling is a new team and has games on Tuesdays and Thursdays.
BOWLING
WRESTLING
v. chiawana
v. southridge
v. chiawana
v. chiawana
v. cheney
jan. 16 • 3:30
jan. 16 • 7:00
jan. 17 • 7:30
jan. 17 • 5:45
jan.18 • 11:00
@hanford
@hanford
@hanford
@hanford
@lions
BOY’S B-BALL GIRL’S B-BALL
BOY’S SWIM
16 January 2014 Sports 5
Monday is fan-day One only has to walk the halls of school on a Monday to see the overwhelming number of football fans. Many students wear football jerseys supporting their favorite teams and players for Jersey Monday. Juniors Ryan Woodall and Jacquelyn Deichman are two of the many die-hard fans who go all out in the name of the game. Woodall claims that he has been a Seattle Seahawks fan “since the womb.” Woodall’s father grew up in Seattle, which led to their entire family cheering for the Seattle-area teams. Woodall has been to several Seahawks games, and he goes all out every time. A typical game day getup for him includes a “jersey over the sweatshirt, beanie, sweats, socks—everything.” This hardcore fan spirit is not just limited to students. Steven Perez, a social studies
teacher, is often seen touting his purple and gold to support his alma mater, the University of Washington. Perez is a season-ticket holder for both football and basketball, although he will likely give away his baseball tickets. The purple and black attire reminds him of his old college days when he was just a student in the student section. And where his tickets are now, he is pretty much seated in the same place as he was in as a student. Perez’s favorite game that he went this year to was the Apple Cup, he said, “It was a great game, both teams played really well.” Perez is always in full fan attire when he goes to games. “I’m always wearing Husky,” he said. “It depends on the game. At the black out game, I’ll wear black. And then you have to account for the weather. There was a miserable, rainy day, but I had this Husky poncho. So you’re not going to catch me not wearing Husky clothes.”
Like Woodall, Perez grew up cheering for his hometown Huskies. He lived in Tacoma and eventually attended the University of Washington. “U.W. was the only school I applied to, and I’ve always loved it,” Perez said. “It’s the only school I’ve ever known.” Deichman roots for the New Orleans Saints. “I like the Saints because about five years ago I was watching Sportscenter on E.S.P.N., and I saw Drew Brees, and I was like, ‘Wow! He’s really good!’ and ever since I’ve been a Saints fan,” Deichman said. The first Saints game she attended was on Dec. 2, 2013, and even though the Saints lost miserably, she still enjoyed the experience. At the game she was also able to see Jimmey Graham and, her new celeb crush, Drew Brees, up close. The loudness of the stadium was as expected and the fans ended up breaking another sound record. She said, “It
was a really fun atmosphere, even though the Saints were losing by a lot.” Unfortunately Deichman was uanble to attend the Saints at Seahawks playoff game on Jan. 11. At the game Saints fans united by chanting when-
It was a really fun atmosphere, even though the Saints were losing by a lot
jacque deichman
ever seeing another fan, “Who Dat?” Deichman’s wardrobe does not lack fan gear either. She said, “I have a couple of shirts, a sweatshirt, a Snuggie, a pillow pet, a Drew Brees action figure and a bad call ref foam brick to throw at the T.V. if they make bad calls.”
shanta Katipamula
writer
Teacher Steven Perez struts his stuff in his UW gear everytime the Huskies play. Fans having been going all out this year for their favorite teams; Jersey Monday is a hit, with each person sporting their favorite teams gear.
SWIM MAKES A SPLASH
courtesy of william wertz
Senior William Wertz prepares to dive off into the swimming pool. The boys swim team is led by a strong senior leaders including Wertz, Parker Schumacher and Karl Kinter-Meyer.
After a promising season last year, students are bringing their speedos and swim caps out again. A majority of the swimmers do competitive swim year round for the club team Tri-City Channel Cats. “The club swimmers have been swimming all throughout the summer and before that,” senior William Wertz said. There is a short break in August lasting about two weeks, but for the most part club swimming is a huge time commitment that requires the utmost dedication. High school swim, however, is a whole new experience. “Meets are much more fun with high school swim,” sophomore Daniel Dohnalek said, but conceded that the Channel Cats practice is a bit more rigorous. Even after the high school team’s phenomenal
performance last year, the team make the younger kids feel is expecting even more this like they’re just as cool as season. Part of this high staneverybody else,” junior Rhys dard is due to great upper-class McKinstry said. The role of leadership. the underclassmen will be vital, “We got a especially after lot of returnthe loss of key ing members seniors, but to the team, the team is not The upperclasslike Parker worried the man make the Schumacher least bit. and Karl “We have younger kids Kintnersome promfeel like they’re Meyer,” Wertz ising new just as cool as said. Their freshman,” presence was Dohnalek said. everybody else. immediately The camararhys mckinstry felt at the Liderie of the onspool meet swim team is as in Yakima on strong as ever, Dec. 19. Schumacher won the encompassing both upperclass200- and 400-yard free-style men and underclassmen. relays to lead the team to a “When the freshmen got in crushing 125-to-41 victory the pool,” McKinstry said, “the against Grandview. first thing we did was cheer The upperclassmen provide really loudly for them as they much more than simply high started their warm-up.” scores. “The upperclassmen The swimmers desire more
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than victories at meets. “I hope I make it on the podium for districts,” he said. Wertz intends to one-up his previous times and garner even more records as well. “I’m hoping I can get the boys 3A state swimmer of the year,” he said, “while also getting some individual titles under my belt, [and] maybe a state record too.” The hard work and aspirations of the swimmers pays off. “I’m positive our team will sweep the competition like we always do and come out on top in our class division,” Wertz said. The swim team’s next meet is this Saturday, Jan. 18, in Yakima. Wertz encouraged all to come and support the team, saying there will be a “bunch of foxy dudes walking around in speedos!”
WOK KING
international buffet
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6 Families 16 January 2014
These aren’t
your average nuclear families. The New York Times’ recently published“The Changing American Family,” an extended article that details the lives of families ranging from a couple with children from multiple marriages to a successful immigrant family from Sri Lanka. With this article in mind, we asked four students to give insight into their unique family structures. They express gratitude and love for the people in their lives.
The McMillans
S
enior Lucas McMillan’s family is a bit different from the nuclear American family. For starters, McMillan is Brazilian. He was born in Rio de Janeiro, Brazil, but has dual citizenship with Brazil and the United States. “We have different foods and customs than most people here in the area,” McMillan said. His holiday traditions include lots of Brazilian elements—especially food. Typical holiday food for his family includes fried balls of batter and salt cod (bacalhau), Brazilian style chicken pot pie (empadao) and glazed ham. Another difference between McMillan’s family and many other American families is that religion
doesn’t shape his day-to-day life. “I believe in God, but I don’t attend church,” said McMillan, who is a Catholic. “My family is more religious the further back you go (as in my mom, grandma and great-grandma), but everyone in my family believes in God, even if they don’t regularly attend church.” McMillan’s primary caretakers are his grandparents. He also has a younger brother who is 13 years old. His mother lives nearby in an apartment, and he sees her quite often. McMillan doesn’t have any other family in the United States and must travel to Brazil to visit relatives. It has been a year and a half since he last visited his relatives in Brazil. But just
because he does not have blood relatives in the States does not mean that he is isolated from family. “My family and Giovana Pinheiro’s family are close, and I consider them as a second family,” McMillan said. Pinheiro, who is a junior, said that their families have a strong connection because they have the same traditions and holidays, which they celebrate together. “My parents consider Lucas as one of their children. He’s very well loved in our household,” Pinheiro said. “We do have our busy lives, but when we’re able to, we always get together for an afternoon tea or just to chat and catch up.” The two families are always there for each other when-
ever they are in need. Pinheiro, who moved here from Texas, first met McMillan through a teacher at school. “Mr. Newbury introduced me to Lucas after I joined orchestra the first day of school and told him I was Brazilian and spoke Portuguese,” she said. “We started talking more, and my mom started giving Lucas Portuguese lessons on a weekly basis.” Since then, McMillan and Pinheiro have spent many holidays together. McMillan, who got together with Pinheiro and a few other Brazilian families for a Christmas Eve dinner, said, “It was nice to feel like we were celebrating Brazilian Christmas with people we love.”
16 January 2014 Families 7
The Gephart-Zilar-Wileys
W
hen parents divorce, an ugly situation often arises. Long-standing disagreements, deeply hurt feelings and vengeful actions can turn a split marriage into not only a broken home but a battlefield. This can be especially hard on children caught in the middle, children who may feel abandoned or confused, thinking that they have to “choose” a side of their family to truly be accepted. It is reassuring to encounter a blended family that puts the past aside to come together as one big, loving unit. The poster example of this is the Gephart-Zilar-Wiley family, to which senior Tim Zilar belongs. I have known Tim and his stepbrother Ian Gephart for years now, and I was able to talk to them about their experience of living in such a cooperative family unit. I was going to try to work in only a few of their quotes, but I think their responses truly speak for themselves and demonstrate how happy each is to have the other in his life.
How was the adjustment to living with your stepparent and family during the dating and after the marriage? Ian: Honestly, it was a super easy adjustment for me personally since I didn’t have to move at all. I had my same house, same room, same commute to school. I can’t speak for Tim, but it was simple for me. Tim: At first, I was a little uneasy because I didn’t really know much about Roy and Ian or, of course, Kirby [the dog]. When I started living here, I was given a futon and small storage cabinet for all of my stuff. It was weird, I’ll admit, but slowly I got used to the idea. Little did I know that moving into this house was and always will be one of the greatest things that has ever happened to me. Roy is above and beyond the type of father-figure that I need and want. He’s great. How did you two feel towards each other when you first met? Ian: I first met Tim on his, what, 12th birthday? We’re only eight
Steve Wiley
Julie Wiley Ian Gephart
months apart, but I was tall and huge, and he was tiny and squeaky voiced, so he seemed a lot younger than he actually was to me. We got along because, from my perspective, he was happy to have someone older around, and I was happy to have someone younger around. We both liked video games and introduced each other to new stuff, which was a good bonding opportunity. At this point we were used to change, what with both of our parents splitting and moving and that sort of stuff, so we didn’t shy away from each other. Tim: I thought Ian was really tall and very different from the kids at Christ the King. Also, my closest sibling otherwise was 10 years older than me, so it was really odd that I had someone in my own age group. Every once in a while, the teasing and arguing that comes with an older sibling was a little overwhelming, but for the most part, I really liked Ian. He pretty much introduced me to the video game world. Before, I only really knew and played Nintendo and Tetris. Turns out there was a lot more out there. We got along very well.
Roy Gephart
Sheila Gephart
Alan Gephart
The Gepharts, Wileys and Tim seem to all get along and function well as an extended family unit. What do you think is different that breaks from the more common quarrelsome situations? Ian: I understand that my case is extremely rare. I know it is lucky that [my parents] still get along so well. I don’t want to speak for them or talk down to anyone’s parents who don’t get along, but they approached divorce in a “kids first” light. They knew that it would be easiest on my brother Alan and me if they could still be friendly, and that has yet to change. I respect them so much for that and hope that more parents can do that. Tim: In my opinion, I just think our whole family just knows how to treat each other well and accept pretty much anyone that is considered family or friends. I have two older stepbrothers who live in Texas, and I don’t even know their father or stepmother, so it’s weird to think that, with the family here, we get along so well. It’s a blessing.
Tim Zilar
married divorced/split child
Are there any opportunities that you have had thanks to your big, double-sized family? Ian: I have been able to experience so much more in my life because of how my stepparents and their families embraced me, another situation where I’m very lucky. I have so many step relatives that I love like they’re biological. I’ve visited them all over the country, on both sides, being welcomed with open arms. There was really no disadvantage for me. I gained two huge new and different groups of people to spend time with. Tim: Music, music, music. Before, I only had one supportive parent (my mom) who believed in the importance of music and cared about the talents that I started to show. When I moved in with Roy and Ian, they were supportive from the very start, and then when I found out that Ian’s older brother, Alan, was a musician, it kind of made sense. Over the years I’ve acquired an entire music room all to myself and supportive family members to back me up all the way down the road.
The Campbells
S
ome people can simply drive across town to visit their grandparents; others must travel to the other side of the state. Freshman Kyle Campbell, however, must fly across an ocean. His grandmother and some of his mother’s family live in Manila, Philippines. Campbell’s mother is the youngest of seven children. The age difference between her children and her siblings’ children is quite large: Campbell is the youngest cousin at 15 years old, and the oldest cousin is 46 years old. Though Campbell’s mother and her siblings live in North America, his grandmother still lives in the Philippines. She comes to visit her children occasionally, usually staying for a few months at time. This Christmas, she was in Richland with the Campbell family. “I am very lucky I can spend time with her while she is old,” Campbell said. Today, the Campbells have family across the United States and in Canada in addition to the Philippines. “I am especially close with my mother’s family,” Campbell said. “We don’t get to see them very often, but because of advanced technology I am able to email, text, Facebook and Skype relatives that live far away.” Though he doesn’t get to see his family in the Philippines very often, Campbell sees the rest of his family at reunions every summer. Occasionally, the whole family will get together for one big reunion; the last time this happened was in 2005. Campbell said that he loves these reunions because he learns about the Filipino culture. His family shares cultural traditions by way of cooking authentic food. “When we are together, we cook Filipino food such as lumpia (also known as egg rolls), adobo,
photo courtesy of kyle campbell noodles, all kinds of fish, shrimp scampi and roast pig,” Campbell said. “My favorite is lumpia and shrimp scampi with rice.” Holidays are family affairs in the Campbell household. For Thanksgiving, they usually drive down to Utah to spend time with Campbell’s father’s family. Christmas, however, is spent in town with the Campbell family only. “Sometimes we travel and visit my father’s side of the family,” Campbell explained, “but only after Christmas.”
For Campbell, having a large extended family scattered across three countries is natural. The annual reunions and occasional visits from his Filipino relatives are a part of life. Thanks to technology like Skype and Facebook, he is able to keep in touch with his relatives easily. “I enjoy being around them, and I’m excited to see them this summer,” Campbell said. Until the next long-awaited family reunion, Campbell has a few months to enjoy his grandmother’s company before she heads back to the Philippines.
The Lins
N
o matter how objective anyone tries to be, some things will always require a different point of view to let us realize just how unique they are. Family definitely fits into this category. For example, if you ask sophomore Isabel Lin about hers, she would say, “I think we are a pretty standard family.” In most ways that’s true—but to some, the Lins will seem just a little different. Besides her parents and her younger sister Anabel, Isabel also has a younger brother, Ezekiel, who is adopted. When Isabel was about five years old, and her younger sister Anabel was around three years old, the Lins welcomed another addition to the family, this time all the way from Taiwan, their mother’s home country. From what she recalls of the process, Isabel said, “I remember riding four hours on the train to take him home. He was about four months old.” Because of the distance, there was also red tape involved. “The process of adoption lasted for a longer time because we were adopting him out of the country,” Isabel said, “and the officials had to confirm we were legal.” And so they were five—a family united despite geographical origins. The Lins keep their bond strong through common principles such as their kindness towards others. “In our family, we value our relationships,” Isabel said, “and we try to put other people before
ourselves.” This is probably related at least in part to the morality they glean from their faith. “Another main principle that shapes our family is maintaining our relationship with God,” she said. “We still follow most of the stereotypical Asian principles,” Isabel said, in regards to their Asian heritage, “such as getting straight A’s and performing well in activities outside of school.” But people of other heritages cannot always understand others loosely adhering to stereotypes. “Sometimes people can be a little insensitive,” she said, “judging by the way we look and how we are brought up but not by who we actually are.” Isabel worries that her brother might be a target of discrimination. “I always thought that, because he was adopted, my brother would be bullied by his classmates or feel like he did not belong in the family,” she said. Apparently these are unfounded fears because “he fits in just fine,” she said. Ezekiel’s integration into the family was never an issue. “He is an absolute pain in the butt and extremely annoying all the time,” Isabel said, indicating that she definitely has to deal with all the same annoyances familiar to anyone dealing with a younger brother. “He is hard to deal with,” she said, “but he is still my brother, adopted or not, and I will love him as a big sister should.” photo courtesy of isabel lin
8 Features 16 January 2014
courtesy of courtney olsen
Sophomore Lexi Frederickson enjoys a boat ride with her family in the Philippines. Frederickson spent about three weeks on vacation doing activities such as snorkeling, swimming, parasailing, zip-lining, and kayaking.
Sophomore spends her break in paradise For many people, winter break was an enjoyable two weeks filled with family, friends and fun. Lots of students took this opportunity to travel and leave the Tri-Cities for a bit, whether for a quick road trip to the mountains to ski or snowboard, or boarding a plane and flying to a foreign country. Sophomore Lexi Fredrickson spent all of winter break plus an additional week of school in the Philippines, where some of her mom’s family lives. The Philippines, an island country in Southeast Asia, is located in the Pacific Ocean. Filipino and English are the most commonly
spoken languages in the 115,831-square-mile continent. About 6,870 miles away from Richland, Washington, it takes approximately 15 hours to fly there by plane. Filled with extensive coastlines and abundant rainforests, the Philippines is home to many different and exotic species of plants and animals. “I got to Manila at midnight, and the next day I flew to Bacolod, Negros,” Frederickson said. She went to Mambukal, a hot springs resort, with her family, and doing all sorts of things such as upside-down zip lining, kayaking and swimming. At Boracay Island Resort, she went island hopping, snorkeling, parasailing, helmet diving, zorbing and sailing.
As this was her first time going there, Fredrickson’s favorite part about being in the Philippines was “learning about their culture.” One vast cultural difference between the Philippines and the United States is that most of the people in the Philippines, including Frederickson’s family, do not own cars. “I took public transportation: tricycles, jeepneys and buses to get around the city,” she said. “The most memorable part of my trip was spending time with the family members I had never met,” Frederickson said. “I didn’t realize I had so many cousins.”
Making new resolutions for a new year
mickey shin
photographer
Sophomore Julie Garber studies math in the Commons. Students have been preparing for their semester finals in all different kinds of environments.
FINALLY PREPARING FOR TESTS The first semester of the 2013-2014 school year is almost over. However, at the end of the four-and-a-half months are cumulative exams. How to prepare for finals varies from one person to another. Freshmen Johnny Dillon Herrin and Shalynn Johnson prepare for their finals while listening to music. Herrin’s favorite genres are current and classical, while Johnson puts on classic rock. They pull all-nighters together at one of their houses. “I have caffeine before the finals,” Johnson said. “I stress out a lot and eat a lot of food.” They both wear comfortable attire while taking
the tests. “We just pass out at the end of the day,” she said. Music is often on in the background while students are studying for tests. Junior Nick Frison is broad in his musical tastes and listens to every genre. He will usually “review the reviews” to prepare for his finals. Sophomore Caress Edmondson listens to music as well. “It keeps me focused,” she said. “I listen to alternative rock.” Edmondson prefers not to stress over finals. “Honestly, I don’t study for finals,” she said. “No all-nighters. I try to rest the night before.” Frison’s advice for finals is similarly to “get more sleep, rest more and drink more water.”
As 2014 peeks over the horizon and 2013 waves a solemn goodbye, people all over the world make resolutions that can last from seconds to a year. Based on observations and asking around the Commons, fewer people are formulating resolutions because they are so hard to adhere to. However, those with actual resolutions have ones that are solid and far from commonplace. “I don’t want to stress out anymore,” senior Mateja Sekulic said. Since middle school, Sekulic has excessively stressed about grades. Having to juggle work and school, she is anxious about an A.P. Biology test. “I need to learn how to manage stress,” she said, laughing. “Breathe in; breathe out.” With an upcoming trip to Europe serving as motivation,
Sekulic hopes to end senior year strongly. Freshman Edelle Capendit aims to “not be as shy and always be nice.”
I need to learn how to manage stress. mateja sekulic student Senior Hailey Olds wants to “get better at acrylic painting.” She plans on practicing to improve her skills. Junior Mmeziemchi Okemgbo works toward a high—but not unreachable— goal. “I want to stand on top of everything,” Okemgbo said. Shrouded in mystery, Okemgbo’s aspirations refer to his confidence and strength as a person. “I just need to get
stronger,” he said. Having struggled academically, senior Elizabeth Beltran plans to improve her academic performance and study business in college. “I want to graduate,” she said. Her inspiration comes from karate god Bruce Lee and her dad: Bruce Lee went to Seattle University, and her dad owns his own business. “[My dad] was a successful man,” Beltran said, “and I want to be as successful and maybe more.” Some students did not make resolutions: senior Beverly McCarthy decided not to do so this year after making resolutions the years before. “I’m too lazy,” she said. “Most of the time, resolutions are not really that great.” Similarly, junior Animesh Pattanayak decided that he didn’t need any goals for the new year. He said, “I’m happy with how my life is now.”
Adventures Underground www.AdvUnderground.com books@advunderground.com
1391 George Washington Way Richland, WA 93954 Open 10 am. -10 p.m. Every day
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16 January 2014 Features 9
Musicians compete in a prestigious competition to play with the Mid-Columbia Symphony.
trending
@HHS
PLAYING TO WIN
#HATS
I wanted a hat like this. Katie Smith junior
courtesy of okran moon
Senior Katie Zorich stands with fellow competition winners. Zorich won the senior division in addition to winning overall in the competition.
Senior Katie Zorich won the overall prize at the Young Artist Competition on Jan.11. The competition was an opportunity for junior musicians to compete for a cash prize and a feature with the Mid-Columbia Symphony. Participants from Hanford included Zorich as well as seniors Scott Kovacs, Niraj Suresh and Geoff McKay. All but McKay competed in the senior piano division. McKay plays the trumpet. Also participating was freshman Navenna Bontha, a violinist. In the time preceding the performance, competitors practiced with varying states of determination and confidence. Zorich practiced for “about one hour a day,” and Suresh practiced “between two to three hours” daily. Because she won one of the two overall prizes in 2013, sophomore Diana Wang was not allowed to participate this year. She remembered, however, practicing as much as she possibly could—for all competitions. In terms of ability, the bar for this competition is set very high, even more so because of
the two overall prizes. “If you win, you get to play with the Mid-Columbia Symphony,” Suresh said. As seniors, this was the last time any of them would be playing in the Young Artist Competition. “Since it’s my last year,” Zorich said, “I really want to do well.” Wanting to succeed, however, did not stop her from supporting others too. Anticipating the competition, Zorich felt her work would be worth it, and then added, “Good luck to all the competitors.” On the day of competition, Zorich, Kovacs and Suresh played pieces written by composers Robert Schumann, Edvard Greig and Frederic Chopin, respectively. And, to say the very least, Zorich did “well.” She won both her division title and one of the two overall titles, taking home a cash prize and the opportunity to play with the Mid-Columbia Symphony on May 17 in the Richland High School auditorium. The experience was a noteworthy one for others, too. Suresh does not have any regrets. “I’ve become a lot better at playing,” he said. “I can also appreciate the music a lot better.”
Cause I was cold. Gavin Slack freshman
I’m embracing the Russian. Marina Kassianova senior
Hella swag.
interviews conducted by anne liu
Blaize Vargo freshman
10 A&E 16 January 2014
PHONE
Seniors Tyler Zirker, Spencer Anderson and Emily Carlson rehearse a scene from the musical which opens Jan. 31. The cast and crew spend three hours after school every day practicing scenes, dances and songs. The production contains big tap dance numbers, which the cast prepared for by taking tap dance classes all year.
games:
naveena bontha App fads come and go. I remember a few months when Temple Run was the next big thing. Or the year before, when Angry Birds was the most commonly-played game. The game of 2013? Candy Crush Saga. Seeing many of my classmates whip out their electronic devices during class, I thought that they were answering a text or taking a quick Snapchat. But when countless users pulled up Candy Crush, I was rather surprised to see them playing
a match-three puzzle game at the risk of getting their phones confiscated. When finally I downloaded the game, I realized that the game lived up to its hype, even though there’s nothing really special about Candy Crush. Basically, all you do is switch the placement of different colored “candies” to earn points. Get the required number of points before time runs up, and you advance to the next level. If you don’t get the number of points, you keep playing the same level. Once you reach the upper levels, you start unlocking candy combinations and special superpowers. You also get candy enclosed in a white jelly, which you have to crack before the game ends. Candy Crush is so appealing because of
music swap
jonah bartrand
photographer
BROADWAY RETURNS On Jan. 31, Hanford High School’s Center Stage opens the musical “42nd Street,” a big, jazzy, tap-dancing extravaganza. Directed by Matt Leggett, the show promises to be a big hit. Kevin Swisher will be directing the top jazz band to accompany the full-blown 1930s production. The show follows a New York theatrical troupe that loses its lead actress (played by senior Anna Hansen) on opening night. Peggy Sawyer, a chorus girl (played by junior Katie Evans), must learn the part in time for the show’s debut on Broadway. With the singing once again directed by Kelly Brown and the choreography pounded out by the Kelsey Wehner, the actors have the drive and focus to make a razor-sharp show, and they are going to need it. Students who have friends involved with the musical know that the cast and crew invest many
hours. Senior Clive LePage, who plays theatrical director Julian Marsh, said, “Every musical production will be a frantic scramble because there will always be something that can be done better. But we’ve worked hard for this, and I believe we’ve worked hard enough.” With a dream-team lead cast, a rock solid chorus and a heavy training regimen for every student that steps on stage, nothing less than complete professionalism will characterize the Jan. 31 debut. Leggett described “42nd Street” as a glitzy show. “The combination of this music, dancing and story have a jolt of energy about them,” he said. The hope and optimism expressed in the show contrast with its setting, which is during the Great Depression. “There’s something about singing triumphantly in the face of adversity that is exhilarating,” Leggett said.
finding sleep and peace of mind, are haunting. The chorus is catchy, and I find myself singing, “Hold, hold, hold me close.” It’s hard to keep from tapping your foot along with the song. Another thing that I like about the song is that it’s in just the right range where I can belt out the lyrics and act like the total goofball I am. I will definitely create a Two Door Cinema Club Pandora station along with my current Passion Pit and Fleet Foxes ones.
Two music lovers react when they listen to “Sleep Alone.”
Sophomore Emma Tyree
If you like the sounds of Imagine Dragons or Of Monsters and Men, then you’ll definitely like the song “Sleep Alone” by Two Door Cinema Club. After looking at their discography, I realized I’ve listened to and enjoyed a number of their songs. This song in particular starts out slow and then becomes upbeat. Hard-hitting drums drive the song, and the lyrics, about
*
how fantastically simple it is. In games today, you have to worry about aim and direction; you can’t take your eyes off the phone for more than a few seconds, or you’re dead. Candy Crush isn’t like that. You can enter the game anytime you want. It’s a puzzle game where the perfect combination is almost always under your nose. This game is really worth downloading.
Sophomore Ryan Ray
“Sleep Alone” by Two Door Cinema Club is a fantastic song that is fun and interesting to listen to. The title was a little misleading to me at first because it sent the message that it was going to be a slower kind of sad song, but when I began to listen, it started with an upbeat intro leading into a catchy chorus that really drew me in. The first time I listened to it, I didn’t pay attention to the melody of the lyrics, but as I played it over again and listened carefully, I noticed that the vocals fit the rest of the song magnificently. Everything matches up, and there isn’t anything weird that pops up that makes me question why it is there. Overall, this is a terrific song that is very well put together, and I loved every minute of it. I can’t wait to listen to it again.
venkatesh varada
photographer
BEST OF... APPS Survery of 148 students conducted on Jan. 13
Snapchat: Facebook: Twitter: Instagram: Candy Crush Saga: Other:
25% 20% 20% 13% 11% 11%
“I like Snapchat because I can see and talk to my friends without Facetime.” senior kailey ruby on snapchat
Congratuations to Rollarena on providing 60 years of fun in the Tri-Cities!
16 January 2014 Opinion 11
HASTY DECISION, HASTY REACTION
O
n Tuesday, Jan. 14, the School Board shifted its agenda to address the public outcry over the removal of the concrete letters from Fran Rish Stadium and Carmichael hill. On Facebook, community members have threatened, among other things, to withdraw support for the levy and called for a board official’s resignation. That the School Board and district administration are consuming so much time and money to remedy something that has already happened --offering to replace the letters that were removed--is somewhat ironic, considering that the letters have no actual educational significance. We are skeptical of how each party handled the decision; from what we understand, communication about the removal was inadequate, as people important to the functioning of the Richland School District, including our principal Ken Gosney, were as surprised as the students and community members to hear that the long-standing community structures had been removed. Because the letters were so revered, removing them without any prior notification has
been interpreted as a disregard for their significance to the community. However, reasons for the removal must have trumped historical value, as they focus on safety concerns; the letters were slick when Although our comwet, let alone munity members when icy. Past injuries from have a reverence for the letters could the past that fosters have prompted their support for complaints, our schools, conleaving officrete letters are, in cials in difficult positions. After the end, concrete all, legitimate letters. complaints cannot be ignored by the School Board without consequences. While safety is a consideration, many think that the concrete letters are no more dangerous than other outdoor features such as slides. And what would playgrounds be without slides?
a look at finals:
Response to the removal of the concrete letters has been extremely heated. While some are actively trying to resolve the situation in a manner that is respectful to all parties, the majority of the online response to this issue has been negative—even inflammatory. Traditions may be important, but the community must tone down its criticism of the School Board. Calling for officials to resign over such an issue is going too far. Those who made the decision to remove the letters should be given the opportunity to learn from their mistakes; this forgiveness would make for a much kinder situation all around. Both sides of this issue harbor fault: the decision-makers were hasty, and the one-sided critics are rash in wanting to punish school officials by removing them for this oversight. Although our community members have a reverence for the past that fosters their support for our schools, concrete letters are, in the end, concrete letters. And with the stadium renovations, the letters had to go. Change is inevitable, and it’s time to embrace that change. The staff editorial is the concensus of the editorial board.
EDITORS-IN-CHIEF jonah bartrand chenchen li
EDITORS
carolyn rice, copy lucy williams, copy anne liu, business manager emily tan, news an wang, news mickey shin, features venkatesh varada, a&e nikki kabilovic, sports jane moon, career virginia kuan, opinion emelia stephan, humor
PHOTOGRAPHERS ainsley gettis sawyer henry
STAFF
camren bleiler, naveena bontha, ben casas, shibani datta, shanta katipamula, olga laskin, miranda menard, ellie mendoza, courtney olsen, jourdan plante, joel staudinger, michelle wang
nancy e. smith
to do: write lit essay read pp. 200-220 for gov. complete online bio assignment volunteer at Kadlec
Writing an essay What. Okay.
Textbooks
I’ll just work at McDonald’s
Studying for finals
issue 14.2
ADVISER
Poetry is interesting. . .
practice violin
THE ALTITUDE
28 august 2013
Taking finals
Editorial Policy: The Altitude is an open public forum for the student community at Hanford High School. The paper is published by the Newspaper Club, informing and entertaining its audience in a broad, fair, and accurate manner. The reporting and opinions published in the Altitude do not represent views of the Richland community, school board, administrators, faculty, or student body of Hanford High School. Advertising Policy: The Altitude accepts advertising for most products and services available to the public. Advertising which promotes illegal products under Washington law, opposes any religion, is written in bad taste, or which includes false statements will not be accepted. The Editorial Board has the right to refuse any such ad. Letters to the Editor: Signed letters to the editor will be accepted and published. The staff reserves the right to edit the letters for poor taste, space, libel, and grammar. Memberships: WJEA, JEA, SPLC Printing by the Daily Sun News, Sunnyside, Wash.
MOVIE ETIQUETTE:
OLYMPIC BOYCOTT:
often cause people to people the theater in an irritated state. Coming from the mouth of a senior citizen in the body of a teenager, I’d like to speak about the unspoken code of conduct that should be followed by all movie-going patrons. Let’s start from the top. Think ahead and allow yourself at least ten minutes to get to your seat before the movie starts. Don’t be the person who shows up trying to find a seat when the lights have already dimmed. That leads to the issue of seating. Sitting in front of someone else can only be forgiven when the movie theater is packed. In addition, don’t sit right next to a stranger unless there are absolutely no other seats available. Buffers in between movie-goers is a glorious thing. The last issue of seating is that asking someone to move from the seat they have chosen
be gay, so L.G.B.T. Olympic athletes and supporters could possibly be arrested. This discrimination is outrageous. The Olympics should create a place where countries put aside their differences to compete; athletes should not be concerned about being themselves, and nor should their fans. Expressing who you are in front of others should not be illegal, and it’s a ridiculous double standard that heterosexual P.D.A. is tolerated. Recently, the United States has made leaps in creating equality between heterosexuals and the L.G.B.T. community: the Supreme Court struck down the Defense of Marriage Act, and same-sex marriage is now legalized in 16 states. A long-term Gallup poll found that a majority of Americans now believe that homosexual relations are “morally acceptable”--the percentage
just shut up, silence your phone
mickey shin A couple weeks ago I went to see The Hunger Games: Catching Fire in theaters. I expected to enjoy a movie but instead I was greeted by a loud family of nine that stole my seat and talked the entire time. Don’t get me wrong- spending time with your family is a beautiful thing, but if you’re going to be disruptive during a movie, you can just remove yourself. People go to the movies to attend an engaging entertainment experience. However, those innocent intentions can
as theirs is the equivalent to asking someone to give up their first-born son and only ensues dirty looks. Bringing undesirable noise into a movie theater is about the worst. Don’t talk during the movie because talking can be done just about everywhere else. So please just shut up. But more importantly, turn off the cell phone. If your distasteful ringtone goes off during the movie, I will personally escort you out of the movie theater. Not only do cell phones bring annoying alert noises, they also supply light. Movie theaters are dark on purpose. If you use your cell phone during a movie, you might as well bring a strobe light into the movie theater. Going to the movies can be a pleasant experience but easily tainted when other people ruin the fun for you. Don’t be that person.
don’t be bystanders, don’t watch
carolyn rice The Olympic Games showcase the host country’s power and wealth, and the world recognizes that country’s significance. But we should not champion a country that oppresses its own people. Recently, Russian president Vladimir Putin passed laws banning all displays of homosexuality in front of minors, classifying it as pornography. Those who even wave a rainbow flag can be arrested. Additionally, any foreign person in Russia can be arrested for being or even guessed to
having risen from 38 percent in 2002 to 59 percent in 2013. This growth represents an incredible shift in Americans’ acceptance. We can’t be bystanders in this controversy. Because we have made so much recent progress, being passive about L.G.B.T. discrimination in Russia would be essentially sprinting backwards. Thankfully, President Obama assigned some openly gay athletes to the U.S. delegation to Sochi, a great statement of pride to Putin and to those whom Putin has oppressed. This, however, is not enough. Everyone needs to protest. By sitting on our couches watching the Sochi Olympics, we would--intentionally or not-be supporting Putin’s hate and discrimination. The solution? Don’t watch.
12 The Back Page 16 January 2014
RESOLVING A NEW YEAR
C
ongrats, you’ve all made it to 2014. It’s the beginning of a new year, meaning that once again people are reevaluating their lives and attempting to reinvent themselves. While some of your generic resolutions may last you for a little while, let’s be realistic: your failure is imminent. After you spend a olga laskin day eating healthy and go to the gym for the first time in a year and a half, you will drag your sore limbs to the couch where you will stay for the rest of the year in defeat. Yet every year you manage to hold on to the belief that this year will be different and that you will for once succeed at changing your life for the better in honor of the new year. To avoid impending disappointment, I’ve recently gotten into the habit of making New Year’s resolutions that I can actually keep. All you have to do is aim really low—remember, you have to keep the resolution for the entire year. Here are some ideas to try:
“I resolve to be one year older in a year.”
This one is impossible to fail unless you are somehow unsure of the date of your birth, stuck in a Benjamin Button state of mind, or are a middle-aged woman who is uncomfortable with sharing her age and therefore remains 29 years old every year without fail.
“I resolve not go into public naked this year.” This can work for you if you’re not an avid nudist or a conceited weightlifter.
“I resolve to find an egg on Easter.” This is doable if you are over the age of 6.
“I resolve to not murder any kittens this year.”
Unless you have some illogical, cruel hatred for baby animals, this one should be pretty hard to fail. I mean really, if you enjoy the idea of killing a fluffy baby kitten, then I would be more worried about your mental state of being than your New Year’s predicament.
“I resolve to lie consistently in the upcoming year.” People always try to better themselves by saying they won’t lie as much, that they’ll be more responsible, or that they’ll even lose weight. Why not go for the opposite? If making yourself better is hard to do and easy to fail, then why not make yourself worse? It’s certainly much easier and more fun. I’ve learned that if you have a bad personality that plagues you, it is easily fixed. You just have to accept that bad personality instead of letting it plague you. Understand that it is impossible to fix yourself and instead decide to embrace your horrid character.
If all else fails, why not resolve to not resolve this year? New Year’s resolutions are meant for those who wake up New Year’s Day regretting the night before. Once they observe their Amanda Bynes breakdowns and realize the things they have done, they know that they need to change their ways. So they make these resolutions, but they give up after a promising invitation from a friend the next night. So let’s break the tradition. Let’s keep our New Year’s resolutions for once.
be jealous of big feet I
n Asian culture, having big feet is frowned upon. Or at least, it’s a disgrace. I mean, we’ve all heard stories of how Chinese parents would bind their children’s feet so that they wouldn’t grow as big. The Chinese would go to extremes to keep the size of their feet as miniscule as possible, especially emily tan the girls. In fact, in the Chinese version of “Cinderella” that I was always told, the evil stepsisters don’t give up on fitting their foot into the glass slipper as quickly as in the European version. The sister whose foot is too large for the shoe actually takes a knife and chops off her toes to get it in the shoe. It was quite the bedtime story. I was brought up in Asian culture, but I don’t see what is so horrific about big feet. They are nothing but beneficial. Making footprints at school as a toddler, yours would stand out so much that all the parents at parent-teacher conferences would be gazing I was brought in awe at your print and would up in Asian cultotally forget about their child’s. You would become a celebrity at ture, but I don’t age three. see what is so As an elementary kid, big feet horrific about come in handy when you and your friends are bored outside on a hot big feet. They summer day and finally resort to are nothing but stomping ants or other pests that beneficial. happen to be nearby. At first it may be just for lack of a better thing emily tan to do, but it always turns into a competition, and that’s when your big feet can take over. Also, big feet equal big shoes, which are so useful to sexy females, especially in the espionage career. Every spy movie has a sexy female spy who wears high heels and throws them around like knives. Imagine how dangerous a size-20 heel would be. So, the next time anyone mocks your overly large feet, know that they’re just jealous.
the
WITTICISM: SMILES ON, CHINS UP
W
mickey shin
elcome to the first day of finals, my friends. For some of you freshmen, this only means a mere math ellie mendoza test or maybe a vocab quiz. Treasure this time as if it were the last french fry that remains at the bottom of the bag. It won’t be the case for years to come. For everyone else, especially those in multiple A.P. classes, I offer my condolences to you all. Being the slacker that I am, the chances that I actually studied this year are minuscule, and I’m probably crying in my car as you read this. When half of your classes have the daunting “A.P.” lingering at the beginning of their titles, you get to a point where you’re just too stressed to even open a book and usually resort to eating or giving up—both very unfortunate outcomes. You see, the life of a high school student during finals week is one of horror. This is a two-day period in which either your inner Hannah Montana will come out and shine or the current druggedout, sketchy Miley will crawl out from the depths of the worst part of your soul and wreak havoc on your G.P.A. You probably woke up this morning to stomach-churning stress, and you know what? That’s good. Because after you get through this day, not only will you feel stressed, but you’ll probably contain the mixture of tears and vomit that can only be induced by the aftermath of a bad test. So enjoy the stress. You’ll feel a lot worse in a bit. Now, my goal here isn’t to scare you but merely to make you aware of the suck-fest that is finals week. If you go home and ugly-cry like Kim Kardashian, I want you to know that you’re not alone. The trauma of this week is definitely real. If you’ve ever had some sick desire to participate in a modernday Hunger Games, this is about as close as you’re ever going to get. There is about the same amount of blood, tears, fear and rabid baboons of students. It is a fight to the death, and many of you will not make it out alive, but nevertheless I hope you all turn into beautiful Katniss Everdeens and kick your tests’ butts. Honestly, though, that is very unlikely, and you’ll probably experience a gory death after putting up a long fight. In any case, good luck, fellow students. May the odds be ever in your favor.