Heart's DeLight Workbook for Ladies by Hanlie Wentzel

2013 Naam: _______________________

Arise, shine; for your light has come! And the glory of the Lord is risen upon you. For behold, the darkness shall cover the earth, And deep darkness the people; But the Lord will arise over you, And His glory will be seen upon you. –Is 60: 1-2

Heart’s delight Counselling HartsakeWerkboek

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Hanlie Wentzel 079 877 8678

Baobab Consulting hanlie.baobab@gmail.com www.baobabtherapy.co.za

You shall be like a watered garden –Is 58:11 Your inner self (incorruptible beauty of the hidden person of the heart) is like a Secret Garden. It is a walled garden, with a locked door. You have to guard your heart, the door and walls are there for your protection. Keep thy heart with all diligence; for out of it spring the issues of life. –Prov. 4:23 Jesus is the Constant Gardener, that stands by the door and knock. Behold, I stand at the door, and knock: if any man hear my voice, and open the door, I will come in to him. –Rev. 3:20 Only the Key of Love can unlock the door of your Secret Garden The Love of Jesus is perfect (unconditional) love that cast out all fear. The thief does not come except to steal, and to kill, and to destroy, I have come that they may have life, and that they may have it more abundantly. –John 10:10 When your walls are broken, your Secret Garden suffers plunder and destruction. Your walls are the boundaries in your relationships and self-control. Whoever has no rule over his own spirit is like a city broken down, without walls. –Prov. 25:28

He who believes in Me, out of his heart will flow rivers of living water. –John 7:38

PARABLE OF THE SOWER (Luke 7: 4-15) Two kinds of seed are constantly being sowed into your Secret Garden. The incorruptible seed of the Word of God, and weed - both takes root downward and bear fruit upward. But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faithulness, gentleness, self-control. –Gal. 5:22. For the fruit of the Spirit is in all goodness and righteousness and truth. –Eph. 5:9. The weed (flesh/sinful nature) can also take root and bear fruit. For the works of the flesh are adultery, fornication, uncleanness, lewdness, idolatry, jealousies, outbursts of wrath, selfish ambitions, dissensions, heresies, envy, murders, drunkenness, revelries, and the like. –Gal. 5:19-21.

And the weed that also produces fruit in your life. The fruit of the Spirit is:

For the law of the Spirit of life in Christ Jesus hath made me free from the law of sin and death. –Rom. 8:2 Jesus can be your Constant Gardener. Weeding and pruning, and perfecting in you all the beauty, splendor and glory of JESUS that the Father created you contain.

What does your Secret Garden look like? Does the Constant Gardener live there? Does He walk with you, and talk with you, and tells you that He loves you?

The Spirit-controlled Temperament Walk in the Spirit, and you shall not fulfill the lust of the flesh. But if you are led by the Spirit, you are not under the law. –Gal.5:16, 18. And those who are Christ’s have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires. If we are led by the Spirit, let us also walk in the Spirit. –Gal. 5:24, 25 What Season/Temperament is your Secret Garden? Every Temperament has its own weeds/ desires and passions of the flesh that they fight against.

Some of us are summer gardens, some are spring gardens, some winter gardens and some fall gardens. Every garden is beautiful in its own way, with a unique purpose, strength and fruit to bear and share. To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven. –Ecc. 33:1

The challenge for all of us is not to try and fix ourselves we must stop the constant renovations and home makeovers of the soul. The self-hatred and self-rejection that cause us so much pain. A garden cannot weed or prune itself, you can only invite the Constant Gardener into your Secret Garden. Give Him access to every secret part of your heart. To shine His light into every dark corner. To pull up the weed and thorns. To break up the hard ground, to soak it in His Spirit, to water it with His living waters. To open up your inner wells and unblock the rivers of living waters that can flow from the heart. He designed and created the Secret Garden of your Heart. He foreknew you and dreamed you into being. You have been wonderfully and fearfully made (Ps. 139:40) The incorruptible seed of the Word will take root and bear much fruit in your heart. You are a Christ-Container. You are full of GOODNESS, RIGHTEOUSNESS AND TRUTH.

Consider these prayerfully...ask Holy Spirit to show you His Love & Truth, where your heart has been wounded and where you need ministry/counselling. Then pray it through with a fellow Christian (spriritual brother, sister, father or mother in Christ).Allow Him to use these KEYS to unlock your heart, and set you free.

1. What do I have to do to be saved? (John 3:3) The Life-Light The Word was first, the Word present to God, God present to the Word. The Word was God, in readiness for God from day one. Everything was created through Him; nothing – not one thing! – came into being without Him. What came into existence was Life, and the Life was Light to live by. The Life-Light blazed out of the darkness; the darkness couldn’t put it out. The Life-Light was the real thing: Every person entering Life He brings into Light. He was in the world, the world was there through Him, and yet the world didn’t even notice. He came to His own people, but they didn’t want Him. But whoever did want Him, who believed He was who He claimed and would do what He said, He made to be their true selves, their child-of-God selves. – John 1: 1-14 (Msg) To be saved you have to want Him and believe Him, that He is who He says He is and that He will do what He says. Embrace the Life-Light and allow Him to make you into your true self… your Child-ofGod-Self.

Here is a step-by-step process. First, you must consider your life and then turn away from everything in it that is contrary to what God wants. This turning away from selfishness and toward God is called repentance (Matt. 3: 7-10; Acts 3:19). Now it’s time to change your ways! Turn to face God so He can wipe away your sins,

pour out showers of blessings to refresh you, and send you the Messiah He prepared for you, namely, Jesus. – Acts 3:19 (Msg) Second, you must acknowledge that Jesus Christ died on the Cross to forgive you of sin. You take Him as your Savior to cleanse you from sin – as the substitute who paid the price due for your sin (Rom. 5:9,10; Titus 2:14). God’s readiness to give and forgive in now public. Salvation’s available for

everyone! We’re being shown how to turn our backs on a Godless, indulgent life, and how to take on a God-filled, God-honoring life. This new life is starting right now, and it is whetting our appetities for the glorious day when our great God and Savior, Jesus Christ, appears. He offered Himself as a sacrifice to free us from a dark, rebellious life into this good, pure life, making us a people He can be proud of, energetic in goodness. – Titus 2: 14 (Msg)

Third, you must ask Him to be Lord of your life, acknowledging openly and verbally that Jesus is not only your Savior but your Lord (1 John 2:23). The Bible says that as many as received Him were given the power to become the sons of God (John 1:12). So when you open your heart and receive Him, He comes into your heart –your inner person – through His Holy Spirit, and begins to live His life in you. From that point it is your privilege and call to confess what God has done (Rom. 10:9). -sourced from: Spriritual Answers to Hard Questions, Spirit Filled Life Bible.

daily Declaration

Today I consecrate my whole being to Jesus Christ, body soul and spirit. I am at war; I have an enemy, I prepare for battle. Today is the day that the Lord has made! I will rejoice and be glad in it! Ps 118:24 Today is the day that I will walk in love, light and wisdom! Eph 5 Today is the day that my home will be filled with love, peace and joy! Today is the day that I will live in victory! I am seated with Christ at the right hand of the Father in the heavenly places. Far above all principality, power, might and dominion, and every name that is named not only in this age but also in that which is to come. Eph 1:20-23, 2:6 Today is the day that I will be strong in the Lord and the power of His might! For the weapons of our warfare are mighty in God for pulling down strongholds, casting down arguments, and every high thing that exalts itself against the knowledge of God, bringing every thought into captivity to the obedience of Christ. 2 Cor 10:4,5. Today is the day that I will be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, make my requests known to God; and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard my heart and mind through Christ Jesus. Phil. 4:6,7 Today is the day that I put on the full armor of God – to vigorously oppose, bravely resist and stand my ground in Christ. I put on the helmet of salvation: I will not believe any lie from the father of lies. I will make NO AGREEMENTS with the enemy of my soul. My mind is renewed. I will resist. I put on the breastplate of righteousness. I am righteous in Christ. I will guard my heart, I will not fall into guilt and condemnation, but walk humbly in repentance. For I know that the enemy seeks to kill, steal and destroy my heart. I put on the girdle of truth. I will have truth in my innermost being. Expose every lie and live openly and honestly in my relationships. I put on my feet the preparation of the gospel of peace. Knowing that I go to war to advance the Kingdom of Peace. I take up the shield of faith, to quench all the fiery darts of the wicked one. To stop all thoughts, plans, schemes and agreements of the wicked one against myself and my loved ones- before it wounds us. I take up the sword of the Spirit – the Word of God, to destroy the works of the enemy. Eph 6:10-20. Today is the day that I will not be conformed to this world but be transformed by the renewing of my mind, that I may proof that good and acceptable and perfect will of God. Rom 12

THE RACE OF FAITH † RENEW YOUR SPIRITUAL VITALITY -Heb. 12

For consider Him who endured such hostility from sinners against Himself lest you become weary and discouraged in your souls. You have not yet resisted to bloodshed, striving against sin.– Heb. 12:3,4

Therefore strengthen the hands which hang down, and the feeble knees, and make straight paths for your feet, so that what is lame may not be dislocated, but rather be healed. Pursue peace with all people, and holiness, without which no one will see the Lord: looking carefully lest anyone fall short of the grace of God; lest any root of bitterness springing up cause trouble, and by this many become defiled. – Heb. 12-15

And the Angel of the Lord appeared to him, and said to him, “The Lord is with you, you mighty man of valor.”

- Judges 6:12 I will never leave you nor nor forsake you. The Lord is my helper; I will not fear. What can man do to me? Heb. 13:6

2. Hoop in God VRAELYS OOR GESAGSFIGURE (VERTROUE VS. WANTROUE) 1.

4. 5.

Wat is jou reaksie gewoonlik teenoor gesag, om gesagsfigure in jou lewe. Is jy rebels en openlik uitdagend? Is jy dalk te onderdanig en vind jy dit moeilik om ‘nee’ te sê? Wie is die heel eerste gesagsfiguur in jou lewe wat jy kan onthou. Het persoon jou beskerm en leiding gegee, of jou dalk teleurgestel? Was die persoon dalk dominerend en wou jou lewe beheer? Hoe was jou verhouding met die persoon. Hoe is jou vertroue in gesagsfigure al afgebreek in die verlede? Noem voorbeelde. Wat was die effek daarvan op jou houding teenoor gesag? Wat wil jy hê moet jou berader doen om jou vertroue te wen. Hoe moet jou berader jou behandel. Glo jy dat God bestaan, dat Hy goed is, dat Hy lief is vir jou net soos jy is? Wat wil jy hê moet God doen om aan jou te bewys dat Hy bestaan en dat jy Hom kan vertrou? Is jy gewillig om jouself oor te gee aan ‘n Mag groter as jyself. Aan God?

Oorgawe aan God

1. My wil Wat is jou wil of jou wilskrag, waar sit dit? “You are a spirit, you live in a body and you have a soul” (1 Tes. 5: 23)  Body  Soul (Thoughts/Mind/Intellect, Emotions, Will)  Spirit God het vir die mens ‘n vrye wil gegee. “God is a gentleman”. Hy sal jou nooit teen jou wil forseer nie. “Kyk Ek staan by die deur en Ek klop…” Jy het die keuse om jou wil te gebruik en opsies uit te oefen. Jou wil is jou eie, dis jou keuse: wil jy volgens jou wil lewe, of wil jy jou wil onderwerp aan God s’n en volgens Sy wil lewe.

2. My lewe Jou lewe? Jou lewe is ‘n gawe, deur God aan jou gegee. Die liggaam is net ‘n tydelike woning, daarna die ewige. As jou lewe van God kom en na God teruggaan is dit regtig joune? God gee dit en neem dit weer weg. Waaruit bestaan jou lewe? Jou asem/ jou tyd hier op die aarde. Ook jou verhoudings

(gesin, familie, vriende), werk, vryetydsbesteding, sport ens. Wat het geword van die kwaliteit van jou lewe toe jy en jou eie wil aan die stuur was. Is daar lewe of is daar dood? Deut. 30: 19, 20; “I have set before you life and death, blessing and cursing, therefore choose life, that both you and your descendants may live.” Die wêreld leer jou, “You are the master of your own universe!”, die Woord van God sê Hy moet die Here in jou lewe wees. Jy moet kies, glo jy die wêreld of die Woord van God.

3. Self-gesentreerd vs. God-gesentreerd Hoe lyk jou lewe wanneer jy die middelpunt is en alles rondom jou en jou behoeftes en begeertes draai. Dit saai net verwoesting. (James 7: 13 – 18, “self-seeking and bitter envy”) Hoe het dit die mense rondom jou beinvloed, was hulle gelukkig?

Siel

Minderwaardig Onseker Onbekwaam Skuldgevoelens Bekommer Twyfel & Vrese

Medelye Liefde Begrip

Gees

Redding Sekerheid Sekuriteit Aanvaarding Totale oorgawe

C S

WIL

Liggaam Spanningshoofpyn, maagspanning, maagsere, allergie, asma, artritis, spastiese kolon, hartkloppings, kompulsiewe gedrag, moegheid, slapeloosheid, hoë bloeddruk, asemhalingsprobleme.

Frustrasie Rebellie

DENKE Fantasie Psigoses Perverse gedagtes

Siel

Gees

Jesus se gesindheid (Fil. 2:6) Krag van Christus (Fil 2:12, 4:13) Alle behoeftes voorsien (Fil. 4:19) Vrede Volle vreugde

Redding Sekerheid Sekuriteit Aanvaarding Totale oorgawe

C Liggaam Gesondheid en my voorkoms wys wat binne my gebeur het.

EMOSIES Depressie Vrees

4. Wat hou my terug van oorgawe Wat is jy bang om te verloor as jy jou wil en lewe oorgee aan God?         

Buite-egtelike verhouding/s Afhanklike verhoudings Leefstyl wat God nie eer nie Maniere om te ontvlug Eie begeertes en behoeftes Keuse hoe en waar om God te dien Onwilligheid om te misluk Ongeloof Onvergewinsgesindheid en reg om te vergeld

Wat vrees jy?  

Vrees van wat God van my verwag Vrees om my individualiteit te verloor

 

Vrees vir intense emosionele pyn Vrees vir emosionele ongeloof

Die effektiewe uitkoms van die hele program draai om hierdie punt, die besluit. Hoe eerlik en heelhartig het jy probeer om tot ‘n besluit te kom.

Maak ‘n lys van wat jou terughou van oorgawe:

Free to Love Topics include: 1.

Communication

a. Recognizing different levels of communication b. Resolving conflicts

2. Purpose and Plan a. Overview of God’s plan and purpose for the individual and family

3. Identity and Destiny a. Seven critical times of blessing

4. Life patterns a. Eight adult life patterns b. Impact of lack of blessing/cursing of identity

5. Curses and Blessings a. Releasing God’s blessing b. Practical steps to freedom from cursing c. Personal ministry

‘’ He has sent Me to heal the broken-hearted to proclaim liberty to the captives and the opening of the prison to those who are bound. ‘’ –Is. 61:1

“ Is this not the fast that I have chosen? To lose the bonds of wickedness, To undo the heavy burdens, To let the oppressed go free, And that you break every yoke?” Is. 58: 6

Honor & Dishonor Words can Hurt or Heal – Tame your Tongue A. Two levels of communication → Topical (verbal) issue and → Relational/Identity (non-verbal) issue.

B. Honour vs. Dishonour Definition of honour: “ A decision I make to place high value, worth and importance on another person by viewing him/her as a priceless gift and granting him/her a position in my life worthy of great respect.” Honor in Hebrew means to make very heavy, dishonor is to make light/light of. 



Basis of honour: PERSONHOOD/IDENTITY, NOT PERFORMANCE/BEHAVIOUR – Unconditional love/acceptance not based on performance/behaviour  Separate identity and behaviour!!!! Consequences of not separating identity and behaviour: o You will dishonour when attempting to correct behaviour o You will sow these 3 attitudes in others:  Rebellion  Correction = rejection  Honour/acceptance comes only from correct behaviour Cycles of dishonour: Deut. 5:16, 27:16 o Children who have been dishonoured by parents, will dishonour parents. o Children who have dishonoured parents will dishonour spouse/children. o Compulsive habits/destructive lifestyle patterns are often initiated at the time a decisive choice of rebellion against parents are made…

Relational Communication A. B. C. D. E.

Two levels of communication Honour vs. Dishonour When identity is cursed Ways we dishonour each other How to resolve relational conflict

C. When identity is cursed

Jas 1:26 - If any man among you seem to be religious, and bridleth not his tongue, but deceiveth his own heart, this man's religion is vain.

Two important things are value and significance:  Personal value: Each person has a need to feel valuable and significant. Husbands and wives perceive value differently: o Husband: value = significance: a realization that I am engaged in a responsibility/job that is truly important, whose results will not evaporate with time, but will last through eternity, that fundamentally involves having a meaningful impact on another person, a job for which I am completely adequate. o Wife: value = security/love: a convinced awareness of being unconditionally and totally loved without needing to change in order to win love, loved by a love that is freely given, that cannot be earned and therefore cannot be lost. When identity is cursed, person dishonoured:  Husband feel unjustly accused, inadequate and displeasing, e.g. “she is always displeased with me”, “I can’t do anything right or good in her sight”, “when I go out of my way to do something extra/special for her, she only complains”, “even if I spent all my time and energy to please her, she still wouldn’t be happy”, “ in her sight I am just an inadequate husband, father, Christian and man”.  Wives feel unloved and not cared for, e.g. “he doesn’t really love me, he just doesn’t ever think about me”, “he is totally selfish, I am nr. 9,999 on his list, his career, friends, ministry, hobbies, sport and everything else are before me, I don’t mean anything to him”, “if I died tomorrow his life would go on unchanged, he’ll only need to hire a housekeeper, baby-sitter and cook”, “ no matter what I do I just can’t get him to pay any attention to me”. Reactions to dishonour: 1. Fight: defend, attack, anger. 2. Flight: withdraw, silence, coldness, pouting. Do I dishonour others (loved ones: spouse/children) in the way I speak to them? AND am I dishonoured by others?

D. Ways we dishonour each other 1.

Wife can dishonour husband through: a. Withholding her heart from him b. Withholding sex as a manipulative weapon c. Physical violence d. Outbursts of anger e. Adultery f. Constant criticism and complaining g. Comparison with other men h. Making him her god i. Making her children her god j. Holding unforgiveness (IOU’s) against him 2. Husband can dishonour the wife through: a. Giving her no access to his heart b. Sexually violating her before marriage c. Sexual insensitivity to her within marriage d. Adultery e. Lording it over her in authoritarian insensitivity f. Constant criticism g. Physical violence h. Outbursts of anger i. Making his career or ministry his god j. Never hugging or showing physical affection k. Pride: never sharing a need 3. Parents and children: a. The rest of this article will focus on that.

E. How to resolve relational conflict 1. Ask God to make you sensitive and discern when you have hurt your partner. 2. If you’ve been hurt, go to God for comfort and truth and then forgive and release your partner. 3. When you have discerned that your partner is hurt, don’t evaluate whether he/she should be or not, ask God 2 questions: a. How have I cursed my partner’s identity? b. How have I made him/her feel? 4. Verify your partner’s feelings 5. Do not: a. Defend or explain b. Apologize tritely c. Attack d. Say: “you shouldn’t feel that way” e. Give advice f. Give correction 6. Repent and ask your partner to forgive you for hurting him/her 7. Bless your partner.

Prov 12:18 - There is that speaketh like the piercings of a sword: but the tongue of the wise is health. Prov 15:4 - A wholesome tongue is a tree of life: but perverseness therein is a breach in the spirit. Prov 18:21 - Death and life are in the power of the tongue: and they that love it shall eat the fruit thereof. Prov 21:23 - Whoso keepeth his mouth and his tongue keepeth his soul from troubles. -

KJV

Stand Firm in your Freedom THE BATTLE FOR THE SOUL 1.

WHO AM I? a. b.

Spirit, soul and body (1 Thess. 5:23) New creation in the spirit (2 Cor. 5:17): i. Body of sin done away with, in the spirit (Rom. 6:6) ii. Incorruptible seed in the spirit (1 Pet. 1:23) iii. Seed cannot sin (1 John 3:9) iv. Spirit is alive and full of Jesus’ righteousness (Rom 8:10) v. Born again spirit is one with the Lord (1 Cor 6:17) Soul is in process of salvation: i. Receipt of the Word in humility, engrafts it and saves the soul (James 1:21) ii. Faith in God brings salvation to the soul (1 Pet 1:9) iii. Soul must be transformed (Rom 12:2) Flesh: i. Not just the physical body, but the remnant of sin. ii. Nature of the flesh is hatred toward God (Rom 8: 6 – 8)

2. BATTLE FOR THE SOUL a.

Spirit and flesh war against each other (Gal 5: 16 – 17) i. You cannot walk in the spirit and flesh at the same time (vs 16) – when you open door of spirit, door of flesh closes… How does the flesh capture the soul? i. Conscious choice ii. Lack of knowledge iii. Deception (Rom 7:11, Heb 3: 12 – 13) What is the purpose of the flesh? i. Either Jesus in your spirit or you in the flesh at work (John 14:10) When soul is out of peace, the flesh brings comfort (Heb 4:10)

What moves the soul out of peace? i. Fear hath torment (1 John 4:18) ii. Fear of death keeps us in slavery to the devil (Heb 2: 14 – 15) What does the soul do when agitated by fear? i. Cuts off life of God in the spirit (Eph 4:18) ii. Seeks to save its own life (Mark 8: 35 – 37) iii. Fleshly comfort: anger, alcohol, drugs, sex, food, shopping, TV, sports, etc. What activates fear? i. Lack of God’s love produces fear (1 John 4:18) ii. Because faith (opposite of fear) works through love (Gal. 5:6) iii. Natural mind’s interpretation of circumstances (1 Cor 2:14) Three basic lies of the devil which produce fear (1 Cor 2:14) i. God doesn’t love you and neither does anyone else. ii. You are worthless and of no value. iii. God won’t take care of you and your needs won’t be met.

In the flesh  Soul out of peace  Fear of death: torment  Lack of love  Perfect love Truth (against the lie that contains the fear)

Two fears i. Identity: no value ii. Welfare: needs not met Two fleshly reactions i. Pride: if you are of no value, do something to make yourself of value 1. Outward: arrogance 2. Inward: self-pity ii. Rebellion: do whatever you need to do to get your own needs met 1. All deeds of the flesh stem from pride and rebellion rooted in fear. 2. Example: reaction to relational message in traffic.

Jos_10:25 And Joshua said unto them, Fear not, nor be dismayed, be strong and of good courage: for thus shall the LORD do to all your enemies against whom ye fight. 1Ch_28:20 And David said to Solomon his son, Be strong and of good courage, and do it: fear not, nor be dismayed: for the LORD God, even my God, will be with thee; he will not fail thee, nor forsake thee, until thou hast finished all the work for the service of the house of the LORD. Psa_56:4 In God I will praise his word, in God I have put my trust; I will not fear what flesh can do unto me. Psa_118:6 The LORD is on my side; I will not fear: what can man do unto me? Joe_2:21 Fear not, O land; be glad and rejoice: for the LORD will do great things. Heb_13:6 So that we may boldly say, The Lord is my helper, and I will not fear what man shall do unto me. Deu_20:3 And shall say unto them, Hear, O Israel, ye approach this day unto battle against your enemies: let not your hearts faint, fear not, and do not tremble, neither be ye terrified because of them; Deu_31:8 And the LORD, he it is that doth go before thee; he will be with thee, he will not fail thee, neither forsake thee: fear not, neither be dismayed. Jos_10:25 And Joshua said unto them, Fear not, nor be dismayed, be strong and of good courage: for thus shall the LORD do to all your enemies against whom ye fight. Psa_46:2 Therefore will not we fear, though the earth be removed, and though the mountains be carried into the midst of the sea; Pro_3:25 Be not afraid of sudden fear, neither of the desolation of the wicked, when it cometh. Isa_35:4 Say to them that are of a fearful heart, Be strong, fear not: behold, your God will come with vengeance, even God with a recompence; he will come and save you. Isa_41:10 Fear thou not; for I am with thee: be not dismayed; for I am thy God: I will strengthen thee; yea, I will help thee; yea, I will uphold thee with the right hand of my righteousness. Isa_41:13 For I the LORD thy God will hold thy right hand, saying unto thee, Fear not; I will help thee. Isa_43:1 But now thus saith the LORD that created thee, O Jacob, and he that formed thee, O Israel, Fear not: for I have redeemed thee, I have called thee by thy name; thou art mine. Isa_44:2 Thus saith the LORD that made thee, and formed thee from the womb, which will help thee; Fear not, O Jacob, my servant; and thou, Jesurun, whom I have chosen. Isa_44:8 Fear ye not, neither be afraid: have not I told thee from that time, and have declared it? ye are even my witnesses. Is there a God beside me? yea, there is no God; I know not any. Isa_54:4 Fear not; for thou shalt not be ashamed: neither be thou confounded; for thou shalt not be put to shame: for thou shalt forget the shame of thy youth, and shalt not remember the reproach of thy widowhood any more. Isa_54:14 In righteousness shalt thou be established: thou shalt be far from oppression; for thou shalt not fear: and from terror; for it shall not come near thee. Jer_30:10 Therefore fear thou not, O my servant Jacob, saith the LORD; neither be dismayed, O Israel: for, lo, I will save thee from afar, and thy seed from the land of their captivity; and Jacob shall return, and shall be in rest, and be quiet, and none shall make him afraid. Jer_46:27 But fear not thou, O my servant Jacob, and be not dismayed, O Israel: for, behold, I will save thee from afar off, and thy seed from the land of their captivity; and Jacob shall return, and be in rest and at ease, and none shall make him afraid. Dan_10:19 And said, O man greatly beloved, fear not: peace be unto thee, be strong, yea, be strong. And when he had spoken unto me, I was strengthened, and said, Let my lord speak; for thou hast strengthened me. Mat_10:31 Fear ye not therefore, ye are of more value than many sparrows. Luk_8:50 But when Jesus heard it, he answered him, saying, Fear not: believe only, and she shall be made whole. Luk_12:7 But even the very hairs of your head are all numbered. Fear not therefore: ye are of more value than many sparrows. Luk_12:32 Fear not, little flock; for it is your Father's good pleasure to give you the kingdom. Rom_8:15 For ye have not received the spirit of bondage again to fear; but ye have received the Spirit of adoption, whereby we cry, Abba, Father. 2Ti_1:7 For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind. Heb_13:6 So that we may boldly say, The Lord is my helper, and I will not fear what man shall do unto me. 1Jn_4:18 There is no fear in love; but perfect love casteth out fear: because fear hath torment. He that feareth is not made perfect in love. Rev_1:17 And when I saw him, I fell at his feet as dead. And he laid his right hand upon me, saying unto me, Fear not; I am the first and the last:

FEAR (False Evidence Appearing Real) – a lie, smoke and mirrors, no real power, only deception.  In what area of your life is your soul out of peace? Is there fear that torments your soul: ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________ (Work/finance/marriage/children/other relationships/your identity/etc)  What lie of the enemy causes the fear? ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________

 What truth in the Word does God give you, to cast out the fear? ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________ ________________________________________________________________________

1. Ask Holy Spirit to expose the lies of the enemy.... take authority over the lies of enemy and declare that you will not believe them or agree with them. 2. Repent of believing and agreeing with the lie of the enemy of your soul. 3. Receive LOVE and TRUTH from Jesus, the Lover of your soul. Ask Jesus to exchange the lie with the TRUTH and to fill you with His LOVE. 4. Remember: the enemy will test you again in this area... so stand firm and do not give up the ground you have gained.

Abide in the Father, the “Father in Me do the works”– otherwise it is you In your own flesh trying to do the works of the Father.

2. GOD’S PURPOSE AND PLAN FOR FAMILIES 1. We have forsaken the ancient paths (God’s ways): God’s plan for the family (Jer 6: 13 – 16) a. A family is a spiritual entity not just a collection of people living under one roof. b. A family is one male and one female joined together by God in a marriage covenant. Children are conceived, born and reared within the spiritual protection of covenant. c. A family is a unit (Luke 1:27, Acts 16:31) i. House (Greek: oikos, means, descendants thereof, Math 12:29) ii. An enemy must bind the strongman in order to plunder his house (Math 12: 28 – 29) iii. Iniquity, not sin, is transmitted generationally (Ex 34:7) d. A family is an atom, an atom is not just a collection of particles, but rather is bound together with a nuclear force. When an atom is split, a devastating chain reaction is initiated releasing a powerful destructive force. The family is like an atom and when split, undergoes in the spirit realm a similar nuclear reaction. e. God designed the family to work as follows: i. Responsibility of the parents for children ii. Submission of children to parents: which produces in children 1. Covering, which produces 2. protection, which produces 3. security, which produces 4. correct Godly personality development and 5. correct Godly destiny and direction in life. f. God intends for people to move form one circle of protection directly to another with no in-between exposure (Gen 2:24)

2. Why don’t marriage partners “cleave” to each other (Gen 2:24, 25) a. You cannot cleave if you didn’t leave b. Leaving is not physical, it is spiritual and soulical.

3. Why doesn’t one leave? a. You cannot leave if you’re not blessed b. Lack of blessing creates a bondage in the soul to the present parent. c. Two different manifestations of a soul tie to a parent: i. External hardness (I don’t need blessing and acceptance) ii. External longing (I’ll do anything for blessing and acceptance)

4. Marital relationship remains under the curse due to lack of blessing a. The wife desires and the husband rules (Gen 3:16) i. Desire: Hebrew teshuquah: pursue, run after, chase down. ii. Rule: Hebrew mashal: exercise authority over, put under ones feet.

5. Lack of blessing usually results in establishment of false image a. False images contain hurt, which produces fear regarding identity and welfare i. Fear torments the soul: 1. The flesh rises up to comfort the soul with pride and rebellion. 2. Other works of the flesh stem out of the above.

6. Blessing: to receive, consider a success, TO EMPOWER TO PROSPER. 7. Power of blessing (Gen 27: 34 – 41) 8. Blessing is God’s ordained method of imparting identity and destiny

a. b. c. d.

God established in ancient cultures measures to insure blessing Our culture has been stripped of all God’s protective measures Without blessing, we have an entire generation of people without identity and destiny Without a Godly culture. we must have knowledge (Hosea 4:6)

3. IDENTITY AND DESTINY 1. INTRODUCTION God is determined to bless you and your family, as He promised to Abraham (Gen. 12:3): “And in you all the families of the earth shall be blessed”. It is God’s nature and character to bless people! Blessing is God’s ordained method of imparting identity and destiny. Remember from previous sessions, God is not the enemy – cursing or lack of blessing is the result of sin and iniquity, or schemes of the enemy. God made provision for our blessing, and created the covenant of marriage where parents are positioned to protect and bless their children, thus imparting God’s identity and destiny. But we live in a broken world – the result is that lack of blessing or cursing happens! Our parents aren’t perfect, even if they loved us wholeheartedly.

2. IDENTITY AND DESTINY Def: Blessing: To receive, consider a success, to empower to prosper, to love unconditionally (acceptance not based on behaviour/performance). Def: Cursing: Lack of blessing, to reject, to consider a failure, abuse (verbal, emotional, physical, sexual), conditional love.

Power of the spoken word: God speaks and created the heavens and the earth; we are children of God, we speak and… Identity: My perception of me Destiny: Sense of purpose in life (parents are bow that shoot the arrow towards target) The following are POTENTIAL results of cursing/lack of blessing. The way you have been treated by others in your life (cursing or blessing) is never deterministic, but only influential. Your RESPONSE to the way people treat you determines the outcome of your life. (You are not a victim, you have a choice how to react and deal with it!). NOBODY HAS THE AUTHOURITY TO DESTROY YOUR LIFE, UNLESS YOU GIVE THEM THAT AUTHORITY. ONLY GOD HAS THE AUTHORITY TO GIVE/TAKE LIFE. You can be free by forgiving the offender and by cutting yourself loose from the offender and all ungodly ties because of unforgiveness and bitterness: JESUS PAID FOR THE SIN – remember often forgiveness is like peeling an onion – it may take time as God takes you deeper and deeper.

3. 7 CRITICAL TIMES OF BLESSING 1.

CONCEPTION A. Blessed: Wanted, accepted, received. Occurs between husband and wife in covenant marriage relationship. Occurs in love and not in lust. B. Cursed: Not wanted, not accepted, not received. Resented as an intrusion into life of parents. Occurs outside wedlock (Deut. 23:2, enemy has legal authority over them for 10 generations). Occurs in lust. C. Potential results, feelings in child of: Rejection, depression, fear, lust, irrational anger, “I didn’t ask to be born”, guilt, “I’m a mistake”. D. God’s concern and protective measures in ancient Hebrew culture: Capital punishment for fornication and adultery. Cultural attitude toward children (children were a blessing/wealth). Cultural attitude towards marriage.

2. PREGNANCY A. Blessed: Wanted, accepted, received. Lack of emotional stress and turmoil. Nurturing, love and anticipation. B. Cursed: Not wanted, not accepted, not received (Ps. 58:3). Child considered intrusion into mother’s life. No nurturing or love. C. Potential results, feelings in child of: Rejection, depression, fear, lust, irrational anger, “I didn’t ask to be born”, guilt, “I’m a mistake”. D. God’s concern and protective measures in ancient Hebrew culture: Mother relieved of other duties during pregnancy. Cultural attitude towards children.

3. BIRTH (Mother plays main role in imparting identity and destiny) A. Blessed (Is. 44: 1-2, 24): Received as the sex that God created (Sexual/gender identity). Received, loved and nurtured by parents. Reasonably trauma-free birth. B. Cursed: Born the ‘wrong’ sex. Not received, or loved or nurtured by parents. Trauma during birth. C. Potential results: Fear of death (Heb. 2: 14-15). Insecurity. Fear in adulthood (all varied types of phobias). Homosexuality. Striving to become what parents wanted. Anger and frustration. D. God’s concern and protective measures in ancient Hebrew culture: Entire community anticipated with joy the birth of a child. Blessing by Rabbi and family at birth. Circumcision and/or naming on the 8th day.

4. INFANCY (Mother plays main role in imparting identity and destiny) A. Blessed: Acceptance, love and nurturing. Breast-feeding and close bonding with mother. Physical affection of father. B. Cursed: No physical affection or nurturing of mother or father. No security established by needs being met. No bonding with mother. C. Potential results: Fear of death. Establishment of identity in self (If you want your needs to be met or want something done, you’ll have to do it yourself). D. God’s concern and protective measures in ancient Hebrew culture: Mother’s attitude of making the infant a priority. Later age of weaning (usually 3 or 4 years old). Cultural attitudes toward marriage and family.)

5. PUBERTY (Father plays main role in imparting identity and destiny) A. Blessed: Parents separate identity from behaviour. Relationship with parents facilitates sharing of feelings (not children are seen and not heard!). Father through acceptance and blessing severs identity from mother. 3 Fold blessing: (i). Confirmation of gender identity. (ii) Confirmation of God’s plan and blessing. (iii) Parental blessing and release into manhood/womanhood. B. Cursed: Parents curse identity in attempt to correct behaviour. Lack of open relationship with father (reasons: death, desertion, divorce, apathy, insecurity, ignorance). No acceptance or blessing. Parental attitude of shame/embarrassment over physical changes. Sexual violation: molestation, incest, abuse. C. Potential results: Insecurity and insignificance. Striving to prove manhood/womanhood. Rebellion. Lack of release into proper gender identity. Retention of identity with the mother. Life-long unrest in soul and quest for identity. D. God’s concern and protective measures in ancient Hebrew culture: Bar Mitzvah and other such ceremonies.

6. MARRIAGE A. Blessed: Son/daughter has parents blessing for marriage. Parent and child are in agreement about the marriage partner and timing. Acceptance and reception of child’s marriage partner. Wedding attended and blessed by both sets of parents. B. Cursed: Parents refuse to attend wedding. Parents maintain that it is a wrong choice and won’t work. Parents refuse to accept marriage partner. Parents won’t release child to cleave to spouse. C. Potential results:

Marriage labours under a curse. Judgement, resentment, and bitterness toward parents (bondage). Both partners strive to disprove parents. Unhealthy tie back to parents causing inability to cleave to spouse. D. God’s concern and protective measures in ancient Hebrew culture: Marriages arranged by parents and thus blessed. Cultural attitude and covenant understanding of marriage. Classical concept of dating: Motive of self-gratification (“have fun – no consequences”). Based on physical attraction. No long term goal. Short term, breakable, uncommitted relationship is good practice/preparation for divorce, not for marriage! The heart (emotions) is broken and shredded when relationship is terminated. “Love is blind” – often make foolish choices. Young/single people must learn: You are not your own. - Your heart and body are not yours to give to whom you will. - Commit yourself to spiritual, emotional and physical/sexual purity. - Commit to partner in agreement with your parents regarding God’s will for a future marriage partner.

7. OLDER AGE A. Blessed: Children rise up and bless their parents later in life (Prov. 31: 28-29). This completes the cycle of blessing. B. Cursed: Children curse their parents later in life. Children are retained in resentment and bitterness in adulthood. C. Potential results: Parents are retained in bondage and never come to know Christ. Parents are robbed of enjoying their children’s friendship. Children are never blessed and freed in their identities. Children’s lives are shortened and don’t prosper due to dishonour (Deut. 5:16). D. God’s concern and protective measures in ancient Hebrew culture: Cultural attitude of children towards parents. Parental blessing of children created a desire to bless parents.

THE ROAD TO FREEDOM

I walk down a road. There is a deep hole in the sidewalk. I fall in. I am lost….. I am helpless… It isn’t my fault. It takes forever to find a way out. I walk down the same street. There is a deep hole in the sidewalk. I pretend I don’t see it. I fall in again. I can’t believe I am in the same place, but, it isn’t my fault. It still takes a long time to get out. I walk down the same street. There is a deep hole in the sidewalk. I see it is there. I still fall in… it’s a habit….. my eyes are open… I know where I am! It is my fault. I get out immediately. I walk down the same street. There is a deep hole in the sidewalk. I walk around it. I walk down another street… what a great feeling!!!

4. LIFE PATTERNS A. EIGHT ADULT LIFE PATTERNS 1. FATHER REJECTS SON: HE REJECTS FATHER'S BLESSING WINTER (MALE)   

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2.   

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Predisposed not to receive love from a man. Expects to be rejected and not approved of by men. Identity likely to be established in: 1. Self: independent, macho image. 1.1 Career: work-aholism, striving for achievement. 1.2 Money: stinginess, fear of lack, need to accumulate. 1.3 Power and status: shallow, manipulative. 1.4 Ministry: ministry superstar. 1.5 Any role in which he feels he can prove himself to be a real man. Potential results: 1. Conflict with male authorities. 2. Doesn't need or trust other people. 3. Is insensitive to the needs of others. 4. Hard and harsh in relationships. 5. Reproduces in his own life hated qualities of his father. Relationship in marriage: 1. Wife's primary purpose is to complete his masculine identity. 2. He doesn't enter her world. 3. He doesn't grant her access to his heart. 4. He comes across as insensitive, discourteous and selfish. 5. Wife feels: 5.1 Not loved. 5.2 Not needed. 5.3 Low priority. 5.4 Used sexually.

FATHER REJECTS SON: HE STRIVES AFTER FATHER'S BLESSING: SUMMER (MALE) Predisposed to strive after love and acceptance from a man. Will do whatever is needed to be accepted and approved of. Identity likely to be established in: 1. Others: Cares very deeply what others think of him. 1.1 Wife 1.2 Children 1.3 Hero 1.4 Boss 1.5 Pastor 1.6 Friends Potential results: 1. Highly sensitive to the needs of others. 2. Compassionate and caring.

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3.   

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3. Perceived as weak or sissy. 4. Highly self-critical. 5. Undo striving to be accepted by other men. 6. May despise his own masculinity. 7. May entertain homosexual fantasies or experiences. 8. May take on many feminine characteristics. Relationship in marriage: 1. Abdication of role as head of the household. 2. Compassionate and sensitive toward his wife. 3. Perfectionism strains the marriage. 4. Homosexual fantasies or relationships strain marriage. 5. Depression and self-criticism emotionally drain wife. 6. Wife feels: 6.1 Ignored 6.2 Not needed 6.3 Low priority 6.4 Not loved

FATHER REJECTS DAUGHTER: SHE REJECTS FATHER'S BLESSING: AUTUMN (FEMALE) Predisposed not to receive love from a man. Expects to be rejected and not approved of by men. Identity likely to be established in: 1. Self: independence, has no needs. 1.1 Femininity: beauty, promiscuity. 1.2 Career: workaholism, striving. 1.3 Money: stinginess, fear of lack, need to accumulate. 1.4 Power and status: shallow, manipulative. 1.5 Ministry: ministry superstar. 1.6 Motherhood: supermom. 1.7 Any role in which she can excel. Potential results: 1. Conflict with male authorities. 2. Doesn't need or trust other people. 3. Is insensitive to the needs of others. 4. Hard and harsh in relationships. 5. Reproduces in her own life hated qualities of her father. 6. May not act very feminine. 7. May enter into lesbian fantasies or experiences. Relationship in marriage: 1. Usually overtly rebellious toward her husband. 2. Craves love, but won't open up to her husband. 3. Her husband is unable to please her. 4. Highly critical of her husband. 5. May be sexually very unresponsive. 6. Husband feels: 6.1 Unjustly accused

6.2 Unable to ever please her 6.3 Dishonoured

4.   

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5.   

FATHER REJECTS DAUGHTER: SHE STRIVES AFTER FATHER'S BLESSING: SPRING (FEMALE) Predisposed to strive after love and acceptance from a man. Will do whatever is needed to be accepted and approved of. Identity likely to be established in: 1. Others: Cares very deeply what others think of her: 1.1 Husband 1.2 Children 1.3 Hero 1.4 Boss 1.5 Pastor 1.6 Friends Potential results: 1. Highly sensitive to the needs of others. 2. Compassionate and caring. 3. Undo striving to be accepted by men. 4. May be flirtatious or promiscuous. 5. Often has feelings far more highly developed than logic. 6. Highly self critical. 7. Little inner confidence. Relationship in marriage: 1. Usually overtly submissive to her husband. 2. Clamours after and smothers her husband. 3. Often makes her husband god. 4. May be possessive and jealous of her husband. 5. Depression and self-criticism emotionally drain husband. 6. No matter how he tries to love her, it is never enough. 7. Presents her husband all her unpaid emotional bills from her father. 8. Husband feels: 8.1 Unjustly accused. 8.2 Unable to ever please her. 8.3 Frustrated. 8.4 Inadequate. 8.5 Smothered.

MOTHER REJECTS SON: HE REJECTS MOTHER'S BLESSING AUTUMN (MALE) Predisposed not to receive love from a woman. Expects to be rejected and not approved of by women. Identity likely to be established in: 1. Self: independence, isolates himself from women. 1.1 Masculinity: physique, sexuality. 1.2 Career: workaholism, striving. 1.3 Money: stinginess, fear of lack, need to accumulate. 1.4 Power and status: shallow and manipulative.

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6.   

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1.5 Ministry: ministry superstar. 1.6 Any role in which he can excel. Potential results: 1. Conflict with female authorities. 2. Doesn't need or trust others (especially women). 3. Is insensitive to the needs of others. 4. Sometimes has very little awareness of his own emotions. 5. Reproduces in himself or his wife hated qualities of his mother. 6. Sometimes hard and harsh in relationships. 7. May turn toward homosexuality in rejection of women. Relationship in marriage: 1. Is often insensitive or totally oblivious to his wife. 2. Sexually unresponsive and rarely romantic. 3. May become overtly angry and physically abusive. 4. May unwittingly push his wife into the role of being his mother. 5. Wife feels: 5.1 Rejected and mistreated. 5.2 Frustrated. 5.3 Manipulated. 5.4 Like his mother rather than his wife.

MOTHER REJECTS SON: HE STRIVES AFTER MOTHER'S BLESSING: SPRING (MALE) Predisposed to strive after love and acceptance from a woman. Will do whatever is needed to be accepted and approved of. Identity likely to be established in: 1. Others: Cares very deeply what others think of him. 1.1 Wife. 1.2 Children. 1.3 Hero. 1.4 Boss. 1.5 Other women. Potential results: 1. Sensitive and caring. 2. May be highly self critical. 3. Striving to be accepted by women. 4. May have strong focus on physical appearance. Relationship in marriage: 1. Clamours after his wife's love and attention. 2. May smother his wife, make his wife god. 3. May be possessive and jealous. 4. May force his wife into the role of his mother. 5. Presents his wife all his unpaid emotional bills from his mother. 6. No matter how she tries to love him, it is never enough. 7. Wife feels: 7.1 Smothered. 7.2 Frustrated. 7.3 Drained.

7.4 Inadequate.

7. MOTHER REJECTS DAUGHTER: SHE REJECTS MOTHER'S BLESSING: WINTER (FEMALE)   

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Predisposed not to receive love from a woman. Expects to be rejected and not approved of by women. Identity likely to be established in: 1. Self: independent 1.1 Career: workaholism, striving. 1.2 Money: stinginess, fear of lack, need to accumulate. 1.3 Power and status: shallow, manipulative. 1.4 Ministry: ministryholic. 1.5 Motherhood: supermom. 1.6 Any role in which she feels she can prove herself to be a real woman. Potential results: 1. Conflict with female authorities. 2. Doesn't need or trust other people. 2.1 I can do it myself attitude. 2.2 May not be sensitive to the needs of others. 2.3 May be flirty and promiscuous. 2.4 May reproduce in her own life hated qualities of her mother. Relationship in marriage: 1. Husband's primary purpose may be to complete her feminine identity. 2. She may be very critical of her husband. 3. She may demand that he love her, but will not let him. 4. She may have difficulty submitting to his authority. 5. She has difficulty communicating real feelings with him. 6. Husband feels: 6.1 Dishonoured 6.2 Unable to please her. 6.3 Unjustly accused. 6.4 Frustrated.

8. MOTHER REJECTS DAUGHTER: SHE STRIVES AFTER MOTHER'S BLESSING: SUMMER (FEMALE)   

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Predisposed to strive after love and acceptance from a woman. Will do whatever is needed to be accepted and approved of. Identity likely to be established in: 1. Others: Cares very deeply about what others think of her. 1.1 Husband. 1.2 Children. 1.3 Hero. 1.4 Boss. 1.5 Friends. Potential results: 1. Highly sensitive to the needs of others. 2. Compassionate and caring. 3. Highly self critical.

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4. Undue striving to be accepted by other women. 5. May despise her own femininity. 6. May enter into lesbian fantasies or experiences. 7. She may take on many masculine characteristics. Relationship in marriage: 1. Perfectionism may strain the marriage. 2. Depression and self-criticism emotionally drain her husband. 3. She may tend to put more energy into friendships than marriage. 4. Her husband can't satisfy her need for love and acceptance. 5. Husband feels: 5.1 Ignored. 5.2 Frustrated. 5.3 Not needed and unable to capture her attention. 5.4 Dishonoured.

B. COMBINED MESSAGES 1/5: Husband: 1/6: Husband: 2/5: Husband: 2/6: Husband: 3/7 Wife: 3/8 Wife: 4/7 Wife: 4/8 Wife:

I don't need you and I won't let you in. I desperately need your love, but I won't let you in. I don't need you, but I need love from others (men). I'll do anything to get love from you or anyone else. I don't need you and I won't let you in. I don't need you, but I need love from others (women). I desperately need your love, but I won't let you in. I'll do anything to get love from you or anyone else.

5. BLESSING AND CURSING SOME WAYS A CHILD'S IDENTITY AND DESTINY CAN BE CURSED BY HIS/HER FATHER 1. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6. 7. 8. 9. 10. 11. 12. 13. 14. 15. 16. 17. 18. 19.

Shame of his heritage. Rejection of child's sex at birth and/or later. Refusal to relate to the child. Frequent expression of anger toward the child. Frequent physical beating of the child. Constant criticism of the child. Lack of affirmation or expression of delight in the child. Lack of discipline. Physical beating of the child's mother. Constant quarrelling among the parents. Sexual molestation or incest. Lack of hugging and physical affection. Blame of the child for his own unhappiness. Lack of blessing at puberty. Physical unavailability. Emotional unavailability. Preference of a sibling. Authoritarian and insensitive attitude. Death.

20. Divorce. 21. Desertion. 22. Use of the child to sustain the marriage.

SOME WAYS A CHILD'S IDENTITY AND DESTINY CAN BE CURSED BY HIS/HER MOTHER 1. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6. 7. 8. 9. 10. 11. 12. 13. 14. 15. 16. 17. 18.

Conceived in lust. Unwanted conception. Attempted abortion. Traumatic birth. Attempted adoption. Release for adoption. Lack of breast-feeding or nurturing in infancy. Rejection of child's sex at birth and/or later. Over possessiveness. Rejection of child due to a molestation or incest experience. Resentment of child as an intrusion into her life or career. Constantly criticising the child. Preferring a sibling. Viewing the child as a replacement or replication of someone who died. Death. Divorce. Abandonment. Using a child to sustain a marriage.

BREAKING THE IDENTITY CURSE AND RELEASING GOD'S BLESSING 1. Humility: agreement with God about your own need (James 5:16). 2. Ask God to show you in what areas your identity has been cursed. 3. Ask God to reveal to you your own feelings from specific experiences. 4. Confess to God how you felt. 5. Repent and receive forgiveness for not running to Him at that time. 6. Repent of resentment, bitterness and hatred. 7. Receive God's forgiveness. 8. Forgive each parent. 9. Release and cut the tie and inner longing for blessing with each parent. 10. Go to the cross of Jesus Christ and receive His blood for: 10.1 Restoration of relationship with the Father. 10.2 Cleansing from defilement. 10.3 Healing of hurt and wounds. 11. Go to the Father and ask Him to reveal to you the truth of: 11.1 Who He is and how He has always related to you. 11.2 Who you are in His sight and your value to Him. 12. Receive your heavenly Father's blessing of your identity. 13. If married, ask your spouse to forgive you for not cleaving and honouring. 14. Cleave to your spouse and let God teach you to bless and honour (Phil. 2:3-4).

Love is very patient and kind, never jealous or envious,

never boastful or proud, never haughty or selfish or rude.

does not demand its own way. not irritable or touchy

does not hold grudges

will hardly even notice when others do it wrong.

never glad about injustice but rejoices whenever truth wins out. If you love someone you will be loyal to him no matter what the cost.

You will always believe in him, always expect the best of him, and always stand your ground in defending him. All the special gifts and powers from God will someday come to an end,

but love goes on forever ... the greatest ... is love. 1 Cor 13 (The Living Bible, paraphrased)

4. My Morele inventaris & Griewelys:  

DOEL Morele inventaris & Griewelys, aanspreek van jou wrokke, woede, vrees, jaloesie en seksuele misdrywe. (Gee jouself geleentheid vir rou/treur en vergifnis.) METODE Griewelys word opgestel van persone, instellings en beginsels waarvoor jy kwaad is en waarteen jy 'n wrok het. Dit sluit in: wrokke, woede, vrese, jaloesie, seksuele misdrywe. Deeglikheid en eerlikheid is 'n vereiste.

Praktiese skryf van griewelys: Skryf op enige papier/joernaal/boek tot jou beskikking. Sien voorbeeld: Maak ‘n lys van persone/ instellings/ instansies waarvoor jy kwaad is en waarteen jy ‘n wrok het (onvergewensgesindheid): MENSE WAT TEEN JOU GESONDIG HET

My Griewelys: Wrokke:

Woede:

Vrese:

Jaloesie:

Seksuele misdrywe:

1. Wat is vergifnis:    

Om te vergewe is ‘n besluit en nie ‘n gevoel nie. Vergifnis is ‘n proses, vergewe totdat jy nie meer kwaad of hartseer voel as jy aan persoon of persoon se dade dink nie (soos ui wat lagie vir lagie afgeskil word, totdat die kern ook ‘uitgeroei’ is). Kan nie vergifnis verdien nie, is ‘n gawe (vs. God, ander, self). Kan ook nie iemand dwing om jou te vergewe nie, kan slegs vir vergifnis vra. Jy vergewe iemand om jouself vry te maak van die persoon, sy gedrag, en die invloed van sy gedrag op jou lewe. Deur vergifnis kan jy jou losmaak van jou verlede. Beteken nie jy keur goed wat gebeur het nie.

Vergifnis werk op 3 vlakke: - God (gee en vra) - Ander (gee en vra) - Self (gee en vra)

2. Is vergifnis nodig in herstel: Ons kan slegs ons wil en ons lewe oorgee aan God as ons glo daar is vir ons vergifnis. Ons kan net onsself oorgee aan God se genesingsproses en herstel van ons eie harte, as ons onsself kan vergewe,

ander kan vergewe en vergifnis kan vra teenoor ander persone wat ons gedoen het (waarteen ons gesondig het). Ons sal later kyk na om onsself te vergewe en om ander te vergewe wat ons kwaad aangedoen het. Hier bely ons teenoor God en vra Sy vergifnis. Later gaan vra ons vergifnis en gaan maak reg met mense aan wie ons kwaad aangedoen het.

VERGIFNIS IS DIE SLEUTEL TOT GENESING: FISIES, PSIGIES, GEESTELIK EN SOSIAAL.

Hoe maak onvergewensgesindheid/ haatdraendheid ‘n mens siek? Fisies: Psigies:

Denke: Geestelik: Sosiaal:

Moeg, gespanne, loop geboë, lusteloos, rusteloos, ens. Emosioneel: kwaad, wrokkig, hartseer, bang vir seerkry, wraaksugtig, woede uitbarstings, voel verwerp en minderwaardig, sensitief, fyngevoelig, raak gou kwaad, perfeksionisties (kan ook nie self vergewe). Negatief, obsessief, krities, donker, vervolgingswaan (“almal is teen my”) ens. Verwyder van God, kwaad, arrogant, daag God uit, ens. Isoleer jouself, min langtermyn verhoudings, krities oor mense, soek fout met mense, voel jy is beter as ander, kan nie liefde gee en neem, maak moeilik vriende, vertrou nie ander nie.

Hoe voel jy as jy iemand van ‘n ou wrok vergewe het en die persoon laat gaan het, d.w.s vrygespreek het, jouself losgemaak het? HAAT BIND, LIEFDE MAAK VRY.

Hoe vergewe ek?       

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Om van vergifnis te leer, moet mens in die Bybel gaan kyk: Math. 18: 21 – 35. (from the heart). Ons kan nie verwag dat God ons moet vergewe, of dat ander ons moet vergewe as ons nie ook bereid is om te vergewe nie. Dikwels as ons nie God se vergifnis kan aanvaar nie, is dit omdat daar nog steeds onvergifnis in jou eie hart is. Druk jou negatiewe gevoelens uit, moenie dit ontken of onderdruk nie, Sleutel 4. Aanvaar verantwoordelikheid vir jou eie reaksie op die persoon se gedrag. Vir eie negatiewe, haatvolle, wrokkige gevoelens. (Nie slagoffer-mentaliteit) Vra jouself af of jy regtig emosioneel en geestelik wil gesond word. Deur geloof kies jy om diegene wat jou seergemaak het te vergewe. Vergifnis moet uitgespreek word, doen dit hardop. Praat met God, of bid saam met ander persoon (bv. pastorale berader). Noem die persoon se naam en wat persoon jou aangedoen het, al is persoon al oorlede. Dit mag help as jy dit aan persoon kan noem, of brief skryf, egter nie noodsaaklik nie. Vergifnis beteken dat jy vir die persoon bid en intree, al voel jy nog die pyn en woede van wat persoon gedoen het. (Gal. 6:7) Die saai en maai beginsel: jy vra dat God hom sal vryspreek in Sy genade deur die bloed van Jesus en dat dit nie terugkom na persoon toe nie. (Lukas 6: 28, 1 Cor. 4: 12) Vergewe! Spreek vry! Seen!

Dit is dikwels nodig om te bid vir seën in die area waarvan die persoon se wandaad teenoor jou, jou dalk van seën beroof het (bv. Finansieel). Col. 3: 12 – 13.

Samevatting: Deur iemand te vergewe maak jy jouself vry van jou verlede, van houvas wat persoon op jou emosies en denke het, en jou gedrag in reaksie op persoon se dade. God vereis in die Bybel dat ons ander moet vergewe, anders kan Hy ons nie vergewe nie. Onvergifnis maak ‘n mens fisies, psigies, geestelik en sosiaal siek. Vergifnis maak gesond en vry.

5. Belydenis 



DOEL Om aan God, self en 'n ander persoon die presiese aard van jou eie foute/sonde te erken (Jak. 5:16). Verbaal en in persoon, om huis skoon te maak, nederig, eerlik en vreesloos. Konfidensialiteit is absoluut noodsaaklik. METODE Lewensverhaal/- grafiek word geteken in absolute eerlikheid met 'n persoon gedeel.

TEKEN JOU LEWENSGRAFIEK: Neem enige papier/joernaal of boek, en teken jou Lewensgrafiek. Positiewe mylpale/gebeure kom bo die lyn (+) en negatiewe mylpale/gebeure kom onder die lyn (-): op die X-as. Die Y-as verteenwoordig jou lewensjare. Begin by jou geboorte en voltooi tot waar jy nou is. Dit is een ding om ons foute/sondes en verkeerde dade net teenoor onsself op papier te erken, maar heeltemal 'n ander ding om in nederigheid en eerlikheid dit teenoor 'n ander persoon te erken. Dit is veronderstel om 'n nederigmakende ervaring te wees, om onsself in perspektief te begin sien. Om eerlik te gaan kyk wie en wat ons regtig is, en sodoende te bepaal wie en wat ons wil wees in die toekoms. DIT IS NOODSAAKLIK OM ONTSETTEND EERLIK TE WEES. Dit is meer as net 'n lys van ons foute, verkeerde dade en hulle gevolge. Dit is ook 'n poging om verkeerde denkpatrone en gedragpatrone te identifiseer. Om sodoende vas te stel wat van onsself ons moet verander om gelukking en produktief te kan lewe.

7 DOELWITTE: 1. 2. 3.

Om eerlik en volledig te gaan kyk na die foute/teleurstellings in ons verlede en die karakterfoute te identifiseer wat ons gedurig in die moeilikheid laat beland. Om spesifieke gebeure en gedragspatrone te identifiseer in die verlede wat ons agter ons wil sit en wat ons wil gaan regmaak. (By Sleutel 8 en 9) Om 'n gevoel van nederigheid te ervaar, deur aan God, onsself en 'n ander persoon te erken die "presiese aard van ons foute".

4. 5. 6. 7.

Om skuldgevoel en berou te ervaar vir wat ons gedoen het. Om ons te motiveer om aan ons karkaterfoute te werk (Sleutel 6). Om te ontdek dat ons ander kan vergewe en vergifnis kan ontvang vir onsself. Om ontslae te raak van die vreeslike gevoel van isolasie en eensaamheid. Om aan die einde van die Stap van ons skuld en skaamte verlos te wees.

Aan die einde van 'n eerlike en deeglike Belydenis, moet ons verlos wees en vry voel van skuld en skaamgevoelens van die verlede. Ons moet verligting, vergifnis en genesing ervaar.

"We are as sick as our secrets." Slegs wanneer ons donker geheime aan die lig kom, openbaar word, kan ons daarvan bevry en genees word.

6. Gewillig dat God my verander: CHRIST-CHARACTER  

DOEL Insigontwikkeling en identifisering van temperamentfoute of ontwikkelingsareas in persoonlikheid, met die doel om dit met die hulp van God te verander. METODE Gebruik hulpmiddels soos die 4 Seisoene Temperament-analise en ‘Christ-Character’ om temperamentfoute te identifiseer: Baobab Consulting - Temperament Profiling

Selfbeeld “Jy moet jou naaste liefhê soos jouself.” Waar kom selfverwerping, en selfs selfhaat vandaan? Hoe kan ek myself liefhê? DEFINISIE VAN SELFBEELD Elke persoon het 3 beelde van homself: Jou Ideale Self: Christus-karakter (C), jou Sosiale Self: Persoonlikheid (P) en jou Ware Self: Temperament (T).

C P

Gesonde selfbeeld

Vir ‘n gesonde selfbeeld moet hierdie 3 beelde integreer. Indien die 3 beelde te veel van mekaar verskil, voel die persoon verwyder van self en nie in voeling met sy/haar eie gevoelens nie.

HOE ONTWIKKEL ‘N NEGATIEWE SELFBEELD Jou selfbeeld ontwikkel van boodskappe of inligting wat jy ontvang oor jouself:  van ander mense (ouers, familie, vriende, onderwysers ens.)  jou omgewing (situasies, prestasies ens.)



self: eie gedagtes: GROOTSTE INVLOED (wat jy dink en glo oor jouself: “THE BATTLEGROUND OF THE MIND”) IDEALE SELF (C) ↓ Besef die verskil tussen Ideale Self (C) en Ware Self (T) ↘ selfveragting → Selfbeeld verswak ↗ ↘ misluk skuldgevoelens ↖ ↙ Probeer kompenseer met prestasies/hou front voor/”constant renovations”

Dit is ‘n bose silus, en dit moet gebreek word. Die manier waarop jy uit die bose siklus breek, is om jouself te aanvaar vir wie en wat jy is, vir wie en wat God jou geskep het om te wees, om jouself en jou potensiaal in Christus deur Sy oë te sien. Om op te hou om jouself te probeer verander, en die temperamentfoute wat jy wel het (want elke liewe geskapene het karakterfoute en tekortkominge) oor te gee aan Jesus, sodat Hy deur die werking van die Heilige Gees in jou, Christus se karakter in jou kan vorm (Secret Garden of the Heart). Kyk eerlik na jouself, identifiseer daardie temperamentfoute wat jy wil oorgee aan Jesus, sodat Hy gestalte in jou kan kry. Onthou geen mens is perfek, diekant van die ewigheid nie… vertrou God se proses in jou en leef net oorgee aan Hom met ‘n oop hart en gesindheid, gewillige klei in die Pottebakker se hande, dis Hy wat jou vorm en maak.

SAMEVATTING VAN 4 SEISOENE EN EIENSKAPPE

Sterk areas

Linker brein dominant- Taakgerig

Regter brein dominant - Mensgerig

Winter tuin

Lente tuin

Somer Tuin

Herfs Tuin

(links voor) Organiseerder: Drywer Sterk wilskrag Visionêr Prakties Produktief Besluitvas Leier Optimisties Selfvertroue Aktivis/Doener Volhard Ordelik, doelgerig Wil in beheer wees Organiseer, beplan Onafhanklik Spanspeler

(links agter) Beplanner: Analities Esteties Begaafd, kreatief Selfdissipline Produktief Selfopofferend Kalm na buite Realisties Beleef emosies intens Sensitief Lojaal Bly op agtergrond Introspektief Realisties

(regs voor) Ontwikkelaar: Ekspressief Gewild, word geniet Meelewend Entosiasties Kommunikeer maklik Warm Vriendelik Responsief Vry met emosie Optimisties Intuïtief Sien ‘big picture’ Idealisties Musikaal

(regs agter) Diplomaat: Gemoedelik Kalm Stil Betroubaar Objektief Diplomaties Effektief Prakties Droë humor Nie-aggressief “Easy going” Vredemaker Leef georden Hoë stres toleransie Musikaal

Groei areas

Onemosioneel Liggeraak Dominerend Onvergewinsgesind Sarkasties Humeurig Wreed Selfgenoegsaam Aggressief Onsensitief Onsimpatiek Hart is verhard Ongeduldig

Jou denke

Beplan Organiseer Detail Volgorde Bewaar Beheer Konserwatief Hou van prosedure Soek oplossings in die verlede

Motivering

Kwaliteit Sekuriteit Betroubaarheid Produktiwiteit

Sleutelwoorde Organiseerder Aksie Geestelike Hoogmoed (Eie ek): swakheid selfvoldaan Ongeduldig Oorheersend/ baasspelerig Wil self in beheer wees Negatiewe gevolge van bogenoemde

Sukkel met oorgawe – God in beheer. Oorhaastige, onbedagsame besluite. Te streng met

Teoreties Liggeraak Neem aanstoot Wraaksugtig Vervolgingsgesind Selfgesentreerd Buierig Asosiaal Perfeksionisties Krities Besluiteloos Pessimisties

Oordryf Egosentries Onproduktief Onstabiel Ongedissiplineerd Onprakties Gee gou moed op Praat baie Hou nie by besluite Min wilskrag Impulsief Rusteloos Swak konsentrasie Logies Emosioneel Analities Interpersoonlik Kwantitatief Gevoel Feitelik Kinesteties Krities Ekspressief Intellektueel Sintetiseer (nuwe Tegnies planne) Hou van syfers Leef in hede Intellektueel/ Metaforiese Rasioneel denke Dink visueel Materieël Ontdekking Effektiwiteit Strategie Funksionaliteit Plesier Waarde Skoonheid Risiko Denker Innoveer Vermoë Sinergie Hoogmoed (Eie ek): Hoogmoed (Eie selfbejammering ek): egoïsties Krities/Veroordelend Hedonisties: op self plesiersoeker – Vrees: Sku/skaam kom maklik in Maklik aanstoot versoeking (“easily offended”) (“enticed’) Rigtingloos Hou nie van mense Finansiële wat in jou pad staan probleme. of wie se opinies van Bly nie in joune verskil nie. tydraamwerk, Verwag te veel van swak tydbestuur. kinders. Kan nie lank op

Ongemotiveerd Stel uit Selfsugtig Suinig Besluiteloos Bekommerd Neem waar as buitestaander Stadig en luierig Terg Koppig Vermy konflik Skinder, “horror stories” Holisties Intuïtief Metafories Integrerend Visueel Konseptueel Logistiek Leer deur doen Interpersoonlik

Liefde, mense Barmhartig Kommunikasie Orde Harmonie Harmonie Humanitêr Hoogmoed (Eie ek): verwerp ander as jou teleurstel Krities op ander Jok/ Mislei ander Vrees – konflik Maak mense seer met ongevoelige humor, grappe. Sit nie alles in en werk nie hard op ‘n deurlopende

Selfsug Christuskarakter Eienskappe: VRUG VAN DIE GEES Geestelike gawes

kinders. Te hoë standaarde. Neem maklik krediet vir wat God gedoen het. Gebrek aan sagmoedigheid. Kortaf. Bakleierig, argumenteer graag. Emosioneel verhard. Geen simpatie vir ander se foute, swakhede of swaarkry, “lack love/ compassion”. Woede LIEFDE VREDE SAGMOEDIGHEID GOEDHEID LANKMOEDIGHEID Leierskap Visionêr

Meng in ander se sake in. Sal tyd van werk af neem om eie goed te doen. Wraaksugtig, sukkel met onvergewinsgesindheid. Vertrou mense moeilik. Laat deur emosies lei, te fyngevoelig, neem dinge te persoonlik, (vervolgingswaan/ voel dat mense saamsweer teen jou) Vrees GOEDHEID GELOOF VREUGDE VREDE LIEFDE Genesing (“gifts of healing), profeties

een ding fokus. Mors tyd met te veel praat. Begin maklik nuwe goed- wat nie afgehandel word. Uitstel. Ongeduldig met Lente tuine. Aandagafleibaar. Slegte studie gewoontes. Impulsiewe/ oorhaastige reaksie op omstandighede. Woede SELFBEHEERSING VREDE NEDERIGHEID GEDULD SAGMOEDIGHEID Evangelis Prediker

basis nie. “Wit” leuens, verdraai die waarheid. Manipuleer ander (om sin te kry). Passief-aggressief, konflikvermydend. Kan gewetenloos raak… selfs wreed as gewete toegeskroei raak. Emosioneel afgestomp, sukkel te ‘connect’ met jou lewensmaat, kinders. Vrees LIEFDE GELOOF GOEDHEID VRIENDELIKHEID SELFBEHEERSING Berading, Barmhartigheid

die liefde bly stil oor ander se foute dit bly steeds vertrou dit hou aan met hoop dit verduur alles al wat altyd sal bly is geloof, hoop en liefde – hierdie drie. maar die grootste hiervan bly steeds die liefde

You’re Born with It! “Why is it that I can’t control myself? I know what’s right and wrong. I just don’t seem to be able to do what’s right. The apostle Paul no doubt felt that same way when he said, “To will is present with me, but how to perform what is good I do not find. For the good that I will to do, I do not do; but the evil I will not to do, that I practice. Now if I do what I will not to do, it is no longer I who do it, but sin that dwells in me” (Rom. 7:18-20). Note that Paul differentiated between himself and that uncontrollable force within by saying, “It is no longer I who do it, but sin that dwells in me.” The “I” is Paul’s person, the soul, will, and the human

mind. The “sin” that resided in him resulted from the natural weaknesses that he, like all human beings, received from his parents. At the moment of our conception we all inherited a basic genetic temperament that contains both our strengths and Spirit-Controlled Temperament our weaknesses. This temperament is called several things in the Bible: “the natural man,” “the flesh,” “the old man,” and “corruptible flesh,” to name a few. It is the basic impulse of our being that seeks to satisfy our wants. To properly understand the temperament’s control of our actions and reactions, we should define three terms and carefully distinguish among them: temperament, character, and personality.

Temperament Temperament is the combination of inborn traits that subconsciously affects all our behavior. These traits, which are passed on by our genes, are based on hereditary factors and arranged at the time of conception. Six people contribute through the gene pool to the makeup of every baby: two parents and four grandparents. Some authorities suggest that we may get more genes from our grandparents than our parents. That could account for the greater resemblance of some children to their grandparents than to their parents. The alignment of temperament traits, though unseen, is just as predictable as the color of eyes, hair, or size of body. It is a person’s temperament that makes that person outgoingand extrovertish or shy and introvertish. Doubtless you know both kinds of people who are siblings—born to the same parents. Similarly, it is temperament that makes some people art or music enthusiasts, while others are sports or industry minded. In fact, I have met outstanding musicians whose brothers or sisters were tone-deaf. I think of one professional football player whose brother has never watched him play a game because, as he tells it, he “just can’t stand to watch violence.”

Character Character is the real you. The Bible refers to it as “the hidden person of the heart” (1 Pet. 3:4). It is the result of your natural temperament modified by childhood training, education, and basic attitudes, beliefs, principles, and motivations. It is sometimes referred to as “the soul” of a person, which is made up of the mind, emotions, and will. Character combines your temperament, training, moral values, beliefs, and habit patterns. It is indeed the net result of all the influences and religious commitment on your life. It is what you really are when there is no one else around. What you do when you have the freedom to do what you want to do is an expression of yourself.

Personality Personality is the outward expression of oneself, which may or may not be the same as a person’s character, depending on how genuine that person is. Often personality is a pleasing facade for an unpleasant or weak character. Many are acting a part today on the basis of what they think they should be as a person, rather than what they really are. This is a formula for mental and spiritual chaos. It is caused by following the human formula for acceptable conduct. The Bible tells us, “Man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart” (1 Sam. 16:7), and, “Out of it [the heart] spring the issues of life” (Prov. 4:23). The place to change behavior is inside man, not outside.

Summary In summary, temperament is the combination of traits we were born with; character is our “civilized” temperament; and personality is the “face” we show to others. Since temperament traits are

inherited genetically from our parents, we should keep in mind some of the natural factors that influence them. Temperament traits, whether controlled or uncontrolled, last throughout life. The older we get, however, the softer and more mellow our harsh and hard traits tend to become. People learn that if they are to live at peace with their neighbors, it is best to emphasize their natural strengths and subdue their weaknesses. Many successfully develop their characters and improve their personalities, but it is doubtful that any are able to change basic temperament. Yet it is possible to modify it to such a degree that it almost seems to have changed. (from “The Spirit-controlled Temperament, Tim laHaye)

The Character of Christ is formed in you, as you yield to the work of Holy Spririt in your life, you will become more Christ-like. The more you die to self, the more you are alive in Christ – when you allow the Potter to form the clay into a vessel for His glory, purposes and Kingdom. “Christ in us, the hope of glory”. When you allow the Refiner’s fire to purify you from your own weaknesses, charater flaws, sins and habits. Not trying to constantly renovate yourself, but yield to His work in you.

7. Gebed 



DOEL Erkenning en oorgawe aan God van negatiewe areas in temperament, d.m.v. gebed. Vra dat God deur Sy Gees die gawes van die Gees in my laat vorm aanneem. Vir elke temperament-fout is daar ‘n Vrug van die Gees. Erken dat ek nie op my vlees kan steun nie, maar moet doodgaan aan myself, en uit my gees leef, “Christ in us, the hope of glory”. METODE: Bid van gebed saam met berader.

"Ons vra God nederig om ons tekortkominge te verwyder." Gebed: "Almagtige en liefdevolle Hemelse Vader. Ek is nou gereed dat U my heeltemal kan neem, die goeie en die slegte. Ek bid dat U nou sal begin om my hart te verander en my denke te vernuwe en my temperamentfoute te genees. Dit wat in die pad staan van my verhouding met U en ander mense. Laat die vrugte van U Gees in my hart (tuin) groei. Ek wil graag bruikbaar wees vir u, sodat U koninkryk kan kom, in my en deur my lewe. Skenk my die krag en wysheid om van hierdie oomblik af U wil te doen. Amen."

Christ-Character Refinerâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Fire my heartâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s one desire is to be holy set apart for You -let me be as gold pure gold.

Refined As Gold The refining process is painful and takes a long time. However, the end result is worth more than gold in the eyes of the Lord! “Behold, I have refined you, but not as silver; I have tested you in the furnace of affliction.” ~Isaiah 48:10 “I will bring the one-third through the fire, Will refine them as silver is refined, And test them as gold is tested. They will call on My name, And I will answer them. I will say, ‘This is My people’; And each one will say, ‘The LORD is my God.’” ~Zechariah 13:9 He will sit as a refiner and purifier of silver; he will purify the Levites and refine them like gold and silver. Then the LORD will have men who will bring offerings in righteousness. ~Malachi 3:3

Christ in us, the hope of glory Harvest It’s time now for the harvest! And let us not grow weary while doing good, for in due season we shall reap if we do not lose heart. ~ Galatians 6:9 Those who sow in tears Shall reap in joy. ~Psalm 126:5

Autumn Garden The Harvest: A New Heart I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit in you; I will remove from you your heart of stone and give you a heart of flesh. ~Ezekiel 36:26 So then neither he who plants is anything, nor he who waters, but God who gives the increase. ~1 Corinthians 3:7 You have given me greater joy than those who have abundant harvests of grain and new wine. ~Psalm 4:7

Spring Garden The Harvest: Treasure For the LORD has chosen Jacob to be his own, Israel to be his treasured possession. ~Psalm 135:4 God sees His children as precious treasures.

Winter Garden The Harvest: Patience Patience conveys the idea of someone who is tremendously strong and able to withstand all assaults. -Oswald Chambers The end of a matter is better than its beginning, and patience is better than pride. ~Ecclesiastes 7:8

Summer Garden The Harvest: Trust “Faith, as the Bible teaches it, is faith in God coming against everything that contradicts Him— a faith that says, “I will remain true to God’s character whatever He may do.” The highest and the greatest expression of faith in the whole Bible is— “Though He slay me, yet will I trust Him” ( Job 13:15 )." ~Oswald Chambers

Art by Stacy Lee http://stacylee.redbubble.com

Love Conquers All “As the Father has loved me, so have I loved you. Now remain in my love.” -John 15:9

The Anointing Oil The oil is in the crushing. The greater you crush an olive— the greater the oil flow. Suffering releases the power of the Holy Spirit (oil). If you had not gone through what you’ve been you, you wouldn’t have the empowerment for the next level God is bringing you into. So Samuel took the horn of oil and anointed him in the presence of his brothers, and from that day on the Spirit of the LORD came upon David in power. ~1 Samuel 16:13

He Delights in Me You shall no longer be termed Forsaken, Nor shall your land any more be termed Desolate; But you shall be called Hephzibah [My delight is in her], and your land Beulah [Married]; For the LORD delights in you, And your land shall be married. Isaiah 62:4

8. Lys van persone kwaad aangedoen  

DOEL Om 'n lys te maak van alle persone vir wie jy kwaad aangedoen het en met wie jy gewillig is om sake reg te stel. METODE Lys word opgestel, ook persone wat weg of oorlede is, sien ook Inventaris by Sleutel 4. Ook diegene waarvoor jy nie nou gereed is, of wil om verskoning/ vergifnis vra nie.

9. Maak sake reg 



DOEL Om direk sake reg te stel met persone wat kwaad aangedoen is, behalwe as dit mense onnodig sal seermaak. Wysheid moet gebruik word, liefde kom voor eerlikheid. Ten einde aanvaarding van gevolge en neem van verantwoordelikheid vir verlede te bewerk. METODE Gaan na persoon in gees van nederigheid en vergewensgesindheid, bely vroeë kwade gevoelens en druk spyt uit oor gebeure. Fokus op eie foute, nie op kritiek van ander persoon nie, vra persoon se vergifnis.

Hierdie stap behels:   

Deeglike en eerlike selfondersoek. Begin by mense genoem in Sleutel 4 by Inventaris. As jy nie gewillig voel om dit te doen nie, bid en vra God totdat jy is. Lees oor hoe jy die persoon moet benader met wie jy sake gaan regstel. Die volgende as riglyn: - Benader persoon in 'n gees van vergewensgesindheid en hulpvaardigheid. - Druk jou spyt uit oor die gebeure, in opregtheid. - Moet onder geen omstandighede die persoon kritiseer of met die persoon argumenteer nie. - Moenie die persoon se foute bespreek nie, maar erken jou eie. - Wees KALM, REGUIT, OPENHARTIG. - Wees verstandig, taktvol, bedagsaam en nederig, maar nie kruiperig of flikflooiend nie.

"GELOOF SONDER WERKE IS DOOD" As hierdie stap deeglik en eerlik gedoen word gaan jy nuwe geluk en nuwe vryheid leer ken. Jy sal nie meer spyt wees oor die verlede nie. Jy sal weet wat vrede en gemoedskalmte is. Daardie gevoel van nutteloosheid en selfbejammering sal verdwyn. Jy sal belangstelling in selfsugtige dinge verloor en belangstelling in jou medemens ontwikkel. Selfsug sal vervaag. Jou hele houding en uitkyk op die lewe sal verander. Vrees vir mense en ekonomiese onsekerheid sal verdwyn. Jy sal skielik besef God is vir jou, en dat God vir jou kan doen wat jy nie vir jouself kan doen nie.

Voorbeeld van lys: Naam van persoon

Verhouding met persoon

Kwaad aangedoen

Karakterfout van self

Is ek gewillig om te vergewe en reg te maak

Erik

Werkgewer

Ek steel R1000

Oneerlik en gierig

10. Gereelde Inventaris "Het volgehou om persoonlik inventaris te neem en wanneer ons verkeerd was, dit dadelik erken." Hierdie Proses en Christelike 12 Sleutels is 'n nuwe manier van lewe, nadat ons van die verlede skoongemaak is. So wil ons ook ons lewe skoon hou. So betree ons die wêreld van die Heilige Gees. Ons word meer begrypend en doeltreffend. Waak teen selfsug, oneerlikheid, wrokke en vrees (Asook die karakterfoute wat jy geïdentifiseer het in Sleutel 6). As hulle weer wil opduik vra ons vir God om hulle te verwyder, en ons te verander. Dit is maklik om die geestelike program van aksie te verslap en op ons louere te rus. As ons dit doen, soek ons moeilikheid. ONS MOET GEESTELIK FIKS BLY. Elke dag is genade, wat ons die visie van die wil van God in al ons optrede moet indra. ONTHOU: DOEN AAN ANDER SOOS JY AAN JOUSELF GEDOEN WIL Hê.

11. Kontak met God "Het deur gebed en nadenke probeer om ons bewuste kontak met God te verbeter en gebid vir kennis van net Sy wil vir ons en die krag om dit uit te voer." Hierdie stap behels gebed en nadenke, soggens, deur die dag, en in die aand. In die oggend as ons wakker word, dink ons oor die dag wat voorlê. Ons vra God om ons gedagtes te lei, en ons vry te maak van selfbejammering en oneerlike en selfsugtige motiewe. Vra vir God vir wysheid en inspirasie vir besluite wat gemaak moet word. Gee onsself oor aan God, vertrou Hom vir die dag, ontspan en gaan die dag kalm binne. Ons lewe raak nie 'n stryd nie. In die aand, oorskou ons die dag op 'n positiewe manier. Vra God vir vergifnis waar ons verkeerd gedoen het, en vir wysheid oor wat ons kan doen om sake reg te stel. Waak egter daarteen om nie oor-analities te raak en vol bekommernis en ongegronde skuldgevoelens te wees nie. Ons vertrou God om deur Sy Gees vir ons bewus te maak van gedagtes of gedrag wat onsself of ander seergemaak, of benadeel het. LAAT U WIL GESKIED VANDAG. Leef die lewe voluit, 'n dag op 'n slag.

12. Getuig â&#x20AC;&#x201C; Maak dissipels "Nadat ons as gevolg van hierdie stappe 'n geestelike ontwaking gehad het, het ons hierdie boodskap aan ander oorgedra en hierdie beginsels in al ons doen en late toegepas." Soos jy kan sien is die heel laaste Stap eers om ander te help. Soms wil mens te vroeg inspring en ander help voordat jyself eers klaar gehelp is. Wag met hierdie stap totdat jy geestelik, emosioneel en fisies gereed is. Dit is egter baie nodig dat daar 'n behoefte in jou hart ontstaan om ook ander te help. Dit sal ook vir jou in die proses sterker maak. GENIET JOU NUWE LEWE. 'N LEWE VAN OORGAWE AAN GOD EN SY WIL EN PLAN VIR JOU LEWE. DIT IS 'N KOSBARE GESKENK VAN GOD. ONTHOU OOK DAT JY NOOIT ALLEEN SAL WEES NIE. GOD BELOWE IN SY WOORD: "EK SAL JOU NOOIT VERLAAT NIE, JOU NOOIT IN DIE STEEK LAAT NIE." (Heb. 13:5) So since Christ suffered in the flesh for us, for you, arm yourselves with the same thought and purpose, patiently to suffer rather than fail to please God. For whoever has suffered in the flesh having the mind of Christ is done with intentional sin, has stopped pleasing himself and the world, and pleases God. So that he can no longer spend the rest of his natural life living by his human appetites and desires, but he lives for what God wills. Above all things have intense and unfailing love for one another, For love covers a multitude of sins, forgives and disregards the offenses of others. 1 Pet. 4:1,2,8

Hanlie Wentzel Baobab Consulting

Swellendam 079 877 8678 hanlie.baobab@gmail.com www.baobabtherapy.co.za