Pocket Book Of Men’s Wisdom Words of Support and Encouragement from Men, for Men Compiled by Hannah Samuel in support of
Volume 1
Please feel free to share this publication in its entirety for strictly non-commercial use without breach of copyright. Extracts and images may be used where full credit has been attributed to the compiling editor and/or photographer and accompanied by the following attribution: Excerpted from The Pocket Book of Men’s Wisdom volume 1 compiled by Hannah Samuel in support of Big Buddy, May 2011. www.hannahsamuel.com Copyright Hannah Samuel 2011. All rights reserved. Each contributor retains copyright of their individual contribution. All photography (except cover image) copyright Barney Brewster www.brewster.co.nz. All rights reserved. Published by Integrity Press, Auckland, New Zealand, May 2011 ISBN 978-0-9864600-5-0
Buddy To Buddy - Man To Man It’s great to be inspired by words of wisdom from men we consider special or famous. However, everyday men, leading everyday lives, have as much wisdom to share, if not more so, than their more famous brothers. The Pocket Book Of Men’s Wisdom Volume 1 has been compiled in support of New Zealand mentoring programme Big Buddy. It is a compilation of original thoughts, sayings and quotations from everyday men to inspire and encourage other men (and women too!) To all those who contributed, including many mentors from Big Buddy: Thank You! You are very special people. Be assured your words will provide inspiration and encouragement for many, many others. Hannah Samuel
The Big Buddy mentoring programme is based on the simple philosophy that boys need good male role models in their lives to become good men. Unfortunately, many boys do not have a father, or other male role model in their lives, and while mothers do courageous work in raising their boys alone, they cannot model maleness - and above all else, boys learn through modelling. A simple solution is to match these boys with a suitable male mentor who can foster a relationship similar to that of say an uncle - a relationship we hope is for life. The Big Buddy mentor commits to spending two to three hours a week with a boy (Little Buddy, aged 7-12) for at least a year, some for much longer than that.
They spend quality time together doing ordinary things like kicking a ball round a park, fishing, walking on the beach or visiting a museum. The content of the outings is not as important, just showing up regularly, listening, and being with a Little Buddy is probably the most important gift a Big Buddy gives. The idea is simple yet profound. Just a good man showing up every week in a boy’s life, assuring him another man cares for him and giving him a model of what it means to be a man. Knowing there is a man he can trust to show up and to listen will increase the boy's selfesteem, improve his relationships and give him a sense of place in the world. One man on his own can't save the world, but he can make a world of difference to one boy’s life.
Short term goals lead to long term outcomes. So have some.
David Markus Tasman Bay, Nelson
Always be mindful that the experiences you are having now could be very important for what you may be doing in the future. So pay attention.
Chris Bell Spring tide, Tongaporutu
Whatever the setback – get over it! There is too much potential in you to waste time worrying ‘Am I good enough?’ and ‘How could I make this mistake?’ The short answer to these questions is ‘Yes’ and ‘Who cares?’ Now, get over it and get back out there!
Michael Licenblat South Taranaki dusk
Your main responsibility as a human being is to make other people feel good about themselves. This can be by your words, actions or just being present (that’s as in listening chaps – not generally our best skill!) An added bonus is that in helping other people feel good, you make yourself feel good too.
Andy Haddleton Tongaporutu evening
Let service be at the heart of your life in recognition of the connectedness of all things.
Terence Greenslade Pukearuhe, north Taranaki
Don’t worry if you don’t know what you want to do when you grow up. In the meantime, keep working on who you want to be. With the right being, you will be able to do anything. In fact, I find some people go through all their whole life trying to figure out what they really want to do when they grow up!
Paul Newsom Hawkes Bay spring
Do not underestimate the value of spending regular, solitary, silent time in your day, apparently doing nothing. These tend to be the times when, almost unnoticed, the most valuable work gets done.
Chris Stark Karekare moon, Auckland
Be the best that you can be. As a manager, allow others to be the best they can be. As an employee, own and take responsibility for the business as if it's your own. As a person, encourage others and lead by example.
Sukesh Sukumaran Catlins, south Otago
The day you try is the day you succeed. The success may be that you succeeded at trying to be successful.
Christian Moy Oparara arch, West Coast
If you can cultivate two emotions to give you greater control over your response to life, make them curiosity and humour. They are more constructive and better for you than the alternatives: stress and anger.
Simon Young Waihi Beach, south Taranaki
Everybody deserves a thousand chances.
Lee Morgan Tongariro roadside
Everything that happens to me is a direct result of me. Everything that did not work out is my fault. Everything that is great is also of my doing. It is all up to me ... and I wouldn’t have it any other way!
Bill James Kaikoura waterfront
It’s what you do at the start of the day that counts, because at the end of the day it may be too late.
Rod Gardner Tikorangi, north Taranaki
You can chat with a mate any time, but your friend is the guy you keep listening to when he's in trouble ... ... and your good friend is the guy that you keep talking to when you’re in trouble.
Ati Kosanke Grey Valley, West Coast
Every day is a new beginning. There are no boundaries or limits. Every day, each of us has the opportunity to create whatever destiny we choose.
Garry Samuel Te Rewa Rewa Bridge sunset, Taranaki
Human caring is a crucial tool to help address and properly heal our social problems ... ... and it’s in the struggle to be truly caring that we find our humanity.
Richard Aston Carrington Road, Taranaki
It is time for men to stand up and be seen again for all the good things we do. We have great stories to tell, skills to offer and laughter to share. All we need to do is give ourselves permission to be ourselves and lead the prosperous, healthy futures we want.
Tyron Pini Paritutu, New Plymouth
I'm one of a kind, with a positive attitude and high expectations. I'm kind to myself. I'm kind to others. I'm kind to the environment. I'm the learning kind. I'm the achieving kind. I'm the community kind ... and I love life!
David Koutsoukis Glenroy, Nelson Lakes
Everything is hard before it is easy.
Otto Lijzenga Tongaporutu colours
Believe in something.
Simon Prentice Back Beach moonlight, New Plymouth
If I don’t choose each and every one of my thoughts, words and actions, who does?
Chris Stark Kaihoka, Golden Bay
You are allowed all your dreams, but nobody said it was going to be easy!
Brendon Smith Tongaporutu rivermouth
Ahakoa kia kitea nga kokonga o te whare, engari Ko te ngakau e kore e kite. [Although you can see the corners of the house, you cannot see the corners of a person’s heart.]
Give willingly to those in need even though your actions may appear to go unnoticed.
Rei Mihaere Rangimarie Maori Arts, New Plymouth
Practice saying no. It's easy to say yes, but productivity and achievement come from saying no.
Jason Armishaw Waitaanga, King Country
Speaking from your heart is not a gift reserved for females. It takes great courage and strength for a man to be honest with others. It takes even more to be honest with himself.
Stuart Fleming Moonbeam and Moturoa, Taranaki
The 1% Principle. What's one thing you can do today, to make your life 1% better tomorrow? Small incremental change equals giant results over the medium to long term.
Tom O’Neil Brixton, north Taranaki
Live life with an open mind and an open heart. Allow yourself to be inspired by everything around you. Allow yourself to be moved by art or music, and allow yourself to be challenged by someone else's opinion.
Derek Ventling Waimea estuary, Nelson
Whenever you begin to worry - stop. There is no return on the investment. Replace worry with activity.
Chris Curtin Riwaka, Nelson
Eating healthily and exercising regularly are not things you choose to do - they're things you have to do.
Carl Paddick Te Rewa Rewa Bridge, New Plymouth
It doesn't matter where you end up. The important thing is how you got there.
Laurence V Harrould Te Hapu, Golden Bay
Enfold your dreams and hold them fast. When all else fails they will nourish, impel and embrace you. But live your dreams for time is going fast. With passion, discipline and courage, let your heart beat now.
Bruce Mackie Ngauruhoe evening
If you’re not making mistakes, you’re just not trying. If you keep making the same mistakes, you’re just not learning.
Terry Williams White Cliffs, Taranaki
We are often jealous of those gifted with natural skills, who breeze through their existence with little or no effort, but this in itself means little. Only those who have chosen to overcome great challenges have the opportunity to achieve the greatest reward – an extraordinary life.
Danny Gumm New walkway, New Plymouth
What I do is not as important as why I do it. Why I do what I do defines who I am.
Garth Clarricoats Taranaki twilight
It is the duty of all good citizens to incite thought. In other words, say things that make people think, rather than react.
Peter Cooper Suburban evening no. 1
Being right is less important than reflecting with courage, and wising up.
Donald Jessep Tokirima, King Country
The circumstances of my life are a manifestation of the ideas I’ve been holding in my mind.
Clive Littin Back Beach twilight, New Plymouth
A mate died. For his friendship and life to be of enduring meaning to me, I regularly think of some of his special traits and gifts. I honour him by trying to be that man in my own life.
Travis Field Karamea roadside, West Coast
When in doubt - move. Your body was designed to move, so whenever you are struggling or stuck, get out and get moving. It might not solve the immediate problem, but you'll feel better, think more clearly and be more able to deal with it.
David Beard Sou-wester, south Taranaki
Be an awesome buddy, son, father, brother, sonin-law, father-in-law, uncle or man. There are enough average chaps around.
Ngahihi o te ra Bidois Nikau at Te Hapu, Golden Bay
Sometimes you just have to do the right thing and live with the consequences.
Romuald Rudzki Suburban evening no. 2
Live your own life. No-one else will do it for you.
Rhett Brown Blue toadstool, Oparara
Make your life worthy of who you are. Get the support of others and without limitation, seek to know who and what you are (and who and what you’re not!) and discover your true expression - your gift.
Martin Gray Oakura rivermouth, Taranaki
Everyday men have to have courage to stand. Courage to be true to themselves and be consistent in their lives.
Simon O’Shaughnessy Weld Road sunset, Taranaki
Walk where angels fear to tread. Seek neither to control nor to vanquish. Embrace apprehension. Cultivate surrender. Dance elegantly between tough and tender. Wisdom and vitality are revealed in mysterious ways. Remember each moment: you’re a long time dead.
John Bryant Moonset at Paritutu, New Plymouth
Be real. Be real with yourself and with those you love no matter how hard.
Murray Allen South Taranaki coast
Paradoxically, our greatest weakness is also our greatest strength. It is our own demons that hide the treasure within us, making us see only our weakness. The key to unlocking our strength is to surround ourselves with friends who speak encouragement, belief and support into our lives.
David Whyte Middle Road, Hawkes Bay
I eased, and then let go the rope. Wind filled my sails, and I found places otherwise not reached.
Denis Bunbury Back Beach, New Plymouth
Barney Brewster, Photographer
Moonlit self portrait, Arawhata Rd, South Taranaki. 8.06pm 25 April 2010.
My enthusiasm for photography goes back to my student days in the mid 1970s. I have used mainly 35mm SLR cameras, but also medium and large format (4Ă—5) gear and a variety of films and effects, including infra-red, black & white and colour, photomicrography film and monochrome slide work. I was the sole photographer for four
conservation calendars in the 1980s, travelled the country widely and was a partner for 13 years in a small publishing business (Nikau Press). However my main career was in antiquarian bookdealing. After many years in Nelson, my wife Narumon and I have relocated to New Plymouth (where I was born in 1955), in Taranaki. I have taken a fresh interest in photography, retaining my old film cameras (Pentax Spotmatic F; 6Ă—7 Pentax) while re-training with new digital ones: firstly the tiny but versatile Lumix LX3 and more recently a full-frame Nikon D700. I am delighted to be able to contribute the photographs for this ebook and have published under my own name a large format calendar of moonlight photography for 2011, and a smaller one on Mt Taranaki, by day and night. Both can be found at www.brewster.co.nz, along with my photo blog.
Hannah Samuel Compiling editor
equal employment opportunities, in both the UK and New Zealand. Hannah speaks, writes and mentors worldwide and is the founder of online reputation service directory TRUSTcite. The National Speakers Association of New Zealand Inc (Auckland) named Hannah Business Speaker of the Year 2011 and MC of the Year 2008. An award-winning speaker, columnist and author, Hannah works with organisations and individuals who want to be, or to remain, the market leader in their field.
This ebook is a companion title to The Pocket Book Of Women’s Wisdom, Volume 1, also published by Integrity Press, in April 2010.
Her insights into reputation, integrity and trust are based on more than 20 years working in business development, and
Find Hannah online at hannahsamuel.com; comment on her blog at TrustBite.co.nz; or connect with her on Twitter @Reputationz