Aspire to Inspire: A Collection of Works

Aspire to Inspire: Insight and Influence A collection of creative writing that inspires.

“Do what makes you happy.”

“Aspire to inspire.” “ You are in control of (yourself).”

By The Anonymous Counselor: Hao Anh Nguyen

2 Table of Contents Introduction

3 4 7 “LOL” 9 “Anonymous Acquaintance” 12 “This Is What You Are” 12 “Reflection” 13 “Pistachios” 13 “I Once Met Someone” 13 “Indirect Compliment” 14 “Microwaves” 15 “Sometimes” 16 The Demon: A Warning…

17 The Anonymous Counselor: Sloth 20 “Adamant Abecedarius” 26 “Intentional Fallacy” 26 “I Once Saw A Kid” 27 “Being A Man” 28 The Anonymous Counselor: Gluttony 29 “Apocalipsi” 32 “The Three I’s” 32 “Evaluated Identity” 33 “Original Blueprint” 35 “What I Once Called Home” 36 “A Balloon Will Rise For Every Soul” 40 “Meaning of Life” 42 “Symbols” 42 “A White Balloon” 43 “Learn to Spell” 44 Excerpt: “The Game: Scene 3” 46 “Like Father, Like Son” 51 “I Guess I’m Just The Nerd” 52 “Windmills and Slaying Dragons” 55 “Yellow Sheep” 57 “Why Can’t We Be More Like Ants” 59 “Uncomfortable Solution” 60 “Long Distance” 61 “Influential” 61 “I Stand At The Tracks” 62 “Goodbyes Aren’t Funerals” 63 “Friendly Games” 64 “Forgotten in the Library” 67 “Emoto-Love” 69 “A Sky Lies Above the Clouds” 71 Excerpt: To Be Continued… Prologue 72 Excerpt: To Be Continued… Ch. 1 73 Excerpt: To Be Continued… Ch. 2 75 “Hi-5” 77 “Curiosity” 77 A Civilized Game 78 Cookies and Confinement 81 “The Future [Purchase App Here]” 83 “Desensitization” 84 “What’s On Men’s Minds” 84 “Random” 84 “Dying Promise” 84 “Garage Sale” 85 “Parenthood” 86 “For He Cares About the Happiness in You” 87 “As Gentlemen Do” 87 “Tiger” 88 “Time Capsule” 88

Stage Fright Excerpt: Land and Sea Turtles

Aspire to Inspire: Insight and Influence

“Boy Have Times Changed” “17 Seconds” “Chalkboards”

T.A.C. : Self-Esteem

The Anonymous Counselor

89 90 92 93

3 Introduction Creative writing creates. What it creates has been argued throughout time, and as many of those who argue, I tend to agree with the broaden view that it creates life not only in the pages it resides but in the lives who hold the pen and who read. It doesn’t stop at just texts in lines and paragraphs, ordered to meet page requirements, but it can be a universe of its own of which I grew an infatuation and passion.

Although once a strict novelist during the years of high school where my writing only consisted of spelling and grammatical mistakes and unformatted text blocks, I grew a fascination for the action of adding hidden but understandable messages within not only the text, but other aspects of creative pieces as well. Upon many influences I was inspired to not only write a story, but to communicate messages to achieve goals that many but few before had accomplished. Influences such as Ellen Hopkins’s Crank revealed to me that words and how they were structured communicated stronger messages and that mainstream poetry did not have to begin and end on a few pages that it could stretch to tell a single story.

Max Brooks’s World War Z gave me the thrill of the short story by creating a horrifying world, showing me that even short stories creatively created well could be connected as well. Such influences (although there are many more) affected my creative writing progression As an emphasized genre, I wanted to attempt something with a challenge. As writers it is always important to not only communicate the messages we work so hard to proclaim, but to always find ways to push our limits in hopes to improve. Seeing works by various artists ranging from Frost to E. E. Cummings, I had observed that with poetry there were rules and then there were none. The artists themselves could decide which words, lines, structures, colors, etc.; they could use to further the message of their work. There was no limit to the possibilities with poetry which struck my initial curiosity.

During my writing endeavors, I began to question certain psychologies within friends and how I reacted towards them. With minor experience from previous individuals I often held the job as a friendly counselor to all who were willing to accept my insight. Of the many issues I discussed with my “patients”, I many times ran into the same issues, among women, low self-esteem as well the over focusing of physical attributes. It seemed as if the mirror was the absolute truth in their minds and as a caring friend, I attempted to relieve that in those intense struggles as later portrayed in the collection of poems.

Following this counselor idea, I became ambitious, almost obsessed with the ideas of influencing many into better mind sets, hoping that those who read my words would become better individuals, a goal of many literary figures though out history (my idols). With that goal in mind, I attempted to construct a project to reflect the issues adolescents faced in a way that portrayed the modern day technology world as well as the idea that a large majority of these conflicts were indeed interior (influenced by exterior motives), but controlled by the self. In this attempt, The Anonymous Counselor was born…

In conclusion, I was initially afraid that my habit of procrastination would become my downfall, but with the time limits and the inspiration from the world all around, I was satisfied with the minor steps to literary success. I learned and discovered that there is much potential that can be harvested upon, however like all writers, I am still one who seeks the goal to improve and learn how to better communicate the stories and messages I fabricate with more or less words so to speak. Yet, in continuing writing I hope to achieve my ultimate goal: to create works that will inspire others to do what makes them happy, influence a better moral society, while entertaining them in the process. With that mentality, with this book I hope to present some of my better pieces along with personal insights to help communicate what goes on in the mind of one writer and possibly many also. Through my writing, I aspire to inspire.

-The Anonymous Counselor aka Hao Anh Nguyen

Aspire to Inspire: Insight and Influence

The Anonymous Counselor

4 Stage Fright Lights blinded as my eyes nervously wandered the crowd shrouded in darkness. Sweat rolled down the sides of my face, smearing make up applied to it prior to this great obstacle. My eyes twitched, my hands shook even as I fought to keep them calm and even a knot began to form inside my throat, making even swallowing almost seem impossible. I stood still, awaiting my cue, mentally freaking out as if I were to be executed at any second, although I might as well have been. The spotlight was mine in a situation at which at a time was my biggest nightmare.

Growing up in Wahpeton, North Dakota, it was difficult to stand out from the usual crowd of school kids. If a guy didn’t have a crew cut, wear T-shirts, and know anything about farming, it was easy to find him outside of any social group. Add a cultural and racial difference and I was the result. Being raised by parents who had immigrated from South Vietnam, I grew up on different principles as compared to the other children at school and because of that, my personality developed differently. Being a lower class family further affected that as well. Life seemed like a test: don’t do anything bad or be met with disapproval; do something good, don’t expect approval; simply don’t get approval period. My siblings and I never had chores to do but instead we were expected to clean at almost all times. And what was our reward? The ability to watch our favorite TV shows, confined into our rooms where we had spent a majority of our childhoods.

Children need fresh air sooner or later though, right? Some would like to think so, yet with a father who once served as a soldier in the Cambodian war, everything was a possibility, and most of the time, paranoia prevented us from leaving his “protection”. At any second something dangerous could occur, and he always stressed to us to always be prepared mentally and instinctively. Even at a young age, this responsibility was emphasized and because of all these aspects and their effect on my well being, I was different among my peers.

Due to the solitary lifestyle, opportunities to meet new people, establish connections, and improve communication skills never became an option. I became the shy, awkward kid and when prejudice manifested among students, I became the target.

How easy it is to strike the wounded animal when it is defenseless and alone, I understood the concept very well.

Not only did the lack of support from my family cause a feeling of a worthlessness, being treated as an alien among classmates did not help at all as well. The same jokes were said by all, the same insults followed, and all the students began to unite together to separate away from me.

I could never figure out why such cruelty went on unpunished. Maybe I was too quiet about the ordeals? Maybe nobody really cared? Maybe it was all in good fun and I was overreacting (although the pain felt real). Whatever it was, it changed my mentality, scarring me. Later, the harassment would take its toll on my mind.

I use to sit against the wall in the hallway before classes. The only bus that stopped nearby the old trailer I had lived in always arrived early and with the parents always working long before school began, every day I had an hour or longer to spare. In these times I use to question life, dark thoughts fused with ideas of existentialism or at least as much a kid could understand. I was obviously worthless if everyone else treated me like it. And what would I say? What communication skills did I have at the time?

Would I march to all and shout to all of them, telling them all the atrocities they promoted by continuing their contagious and addictive game? I was doomed for a life of depression, dark philosophy, and no motivation to improve, a sloth among tigers. Little did I know, things would drastically change.

Sophomore year, I had recently been allowed to partake in a small art club, with permission from the parents, a rare thing one in my place could expect. Being the shy, awkward guy, I enjoyed being by myself, quiet and content, using my talented hands to construct mediocre works of art using a paper and a little graphite. It was my vice to draw pictures when I felt the world was too much to bear. Then she arrived.

Standing at about 5’ 7”, blond hair with streaks of brown, glasses, a band T-shirt and a smile I could never forget, Kim Eder was a girl whom I use to work with as a cafeteria lunch server during middle school.

Aspire to Inspire: Insight and Influence

The Anonymous Counselor

5 Knowing her from previous years, although we had never talked for years due to different roads being taken, she joined me at the large, white drawing tables.

“What are you drawing?” she was peeking over my shoulder, friendly.

“Just a picture.” I was awkward as usual.

“It looks nice. Where did you get so good?”

“Lots of practice.”

“Well you should teach me sometime.”

“I’m not that good.”

She took a seat across from me, looking at my random wardrobe choices of cheap carpenter jeans, and baggy skull shirts. I was never really a teen of style at the time. I just knew I didn’t have money for anything better.

Taking out painting materials, she began to continue a piece of hers. We began to talk, or at least she talked and I fought my hardest to not bore her to death, although I knew I could at any second. We talked about days, weeks, weekends, music, food, colors, art, and everything in between and outside for all the time allowed. For a shy guy, she said that I was doing pretty well with the conversation. I felt a little bit of accomplishment although I felt she was only being polite. Who would actually enjoy my company?

Time rushed by and as the colors and shading of our pieces had grown across our papers, she began to pack up.

“Where you going?” I asked innocently, hoping she wouldn’t leave such a great conversation.

“Play tryouts!” she was enthusiastic; acting was her favorite thing to do.

“We have plays at this school?”

“Yeah! Like two every year. Wait! I have a great idea! Come with me!”

“Oh no, I can’t act.”

“Anyone can act. Come on its fun!”

“I don’t think you understand.”

“I don’t think you understand how fun this will be. You’ll have tons of fun!”

“I would die on that stage!”

“Not realistically.” she smiled stubbornly, “Trust me, come and you’ll see and if I’m wrong, you won’t have to talk with me ever again.”

Afraid of losing a possible friend, I reluctantly agreed.

Now many directors will tell you of their worst auditions ever seen, but none could compare to the atrocious try outs I called my own. Being an ex-director recalling the past, I always gagged at envisioning my attempt at an audition: reading the lines wrong, using strange accents, having my back to the audience, etc. Anything wrong that could have been done, I accomplished. Surprising at the end of the week, ironically, I was cast the male lead. Apparently I looked like the character description: a male nerd on the verge of emotional breakdown. Funny how life’s coincidences remind you who you are.

Days dwindled down, long practices progressed and passed, and soon the day of the great performance came. All actors rushed to the dressing room, costumes ready, make up applied, we prepared for a great show, and for some of us, our first show. With the same mentality from before, I stood behind the curtain, imagining all the faces in the crowd: students, many of those who use to laugh at me in previous times. Would they laugh at me again? What if I messed up? Would they laugh then at my complete worthlessness? The nerves began to take hold of me as the scenes took their time to play out.

Then the final moment came. Alone on stage, in a shock of stage fright, I scanned the crowd of masked faces, obscured from the lights shining in my face, I was silent. What was I supposed to do?

Then the rage grew from within. The lines came to mind and I unleashed my poetic anger, making my first stand.

Aspire to Inspire: Insight and Influence

The Anonymous Counselor

6 Line after line, I shouted, proclaimed, and glared down audience members as mechanic words were released from my now empowering voice. My mouth spoke clear words, but my body, eyes, and tone conveyed another message:

“Look at me! Look at the kid who was harassed! I will not stand for it any longer! I am somebody! I am worth something!”

My heart rang out, using every ounce of creative energy to take hold as my lines united into a positive message up until my last word. I finished, standing there a silhouette of who I once was. The audience remained quiet and as I turned to the sound of closing music, all was calm.

My heart beat once…twice…three times…how well did I do? And did I any longer care? I was done with the ordeal, and that was all I really wanted. Suddenly, as my eyes left the audience, a roar of applause came from the crowd as their sounds blended with the music fading to the end of the show. I walked back out, bowed away and overheard experienced theater student actors mention, “This guy definitely has to stay”. I could not feel my feet anymore. I was flying on euphoria and success. I had made my stand to an audience who may have not had any connection to my past ordeals, but the moment itself became the turning point in my life. My literary climax you could say.

It was only then, did I focus on my fallacies and worked on changing them for the better. No longer did I care about the harsh opinions of others. Only my judgment towards myself would define who I was, and no longer did I see myself as the worthless, awkward child I was once defined. Gaining a great newfound mentality, opportunities began such as: newspapers, directing, acting, speech teams and even creative writing as well. Nothing seemed impossible, or at least to me, anything could be done. It would only take a few years and soon, the shy, awkward kid would become a man known by many friends and acquaintances as an acclaimed amazing communicator with great talent and insight.

It’s phenomenal to think that such small moments can impact your entire life when you take the steps toward them. To this day, I repeat this story to those who are also lost, telling of how my best friend Kim Eder saved me from a life of depression and loneliness by offering her friendly hand and my fight to a better well-being. Today she lives in California, and I still feel that I owe her my life because without her, I would still be the same awkward child, afraid to stand on not only a theatric stage, but the stage we call life and freely speak my mind. Sometimes I like to think that by sharing this story, I can connect with others, show them that I too was once lost and reveal the choice: to take the positive opportunities around you and to remember that only you define who you are,

just take the stage, and let your voice take over.

Aspire to Inspire: Insight and Influence

The Anonymous Counselor

7 Excerpt: Land and Sea Turtles “Amy, Mrs. Walter is ready for dinner. Are you done with your break?” asked another nurse in the opened door way.

“Yeah. I was just thinking about something,” she hesitated, “Nothing important.”

“Are you okay? You’ve been a little spacey. You’ve been also taking lots of hours lately. Are you sure you don’t need a few days off? I mean it’s the summer after all.”

Amy only gave a forced smile, “I’m fine.”

The nurse searched for stress upon Amy’s face, but reluctantly agreed, “Well if you say so.

Now hurry, Mrs. Walter is waiting.”

“I’ll get to it soon.”

“Well alright.” The pager rang, “Duty calls.”

“See you later.” Amy took one more glance out the window, releasing one deep sigh before heading to visit Mrs. Walter.

Moments later Amy stumbled into a similar, cold gray room, seeing a slight ray of sunshine through the slim window blinds. A stench of dying lilacs along with the “peculiar” smell of elderly, referred by nurses, masked the smell of the dinner she had brought in. It was times like these that she thanked her consistent work schedule; a new nose would have been overwhelmed.

Setting the trays near the side of the bed, Amy softly smiled to Mrs. Walter.

“How are you doing today? Have you had a nice nap?” Amy said as she passed out the tray onto a little table connected to the bed.

“I’m fine today. Could you be a dear and open up the blinds for me? I want to look outside.” Mrs. Walter softly asked.

Leaving the tray and walking toward the window blinds, Amy replied, “Sure. Anything for you Mrs. Walter.” She pulled the strings, raising them. A curtain of light entered the room, illuminating the dark corners. Mrs. Walter smiled as the warming hands of the sun gently brushed her wrinkled cheeks.

She gazed out through the glass, appreciating the way trees danced in the wind and clouds glided across the sky. She saw roses in the garden across the yard, remembering fresh scents and a smooth, velvet touch. Yet, her smile diminished as she looked back at Amy. “How come a sweet girl like you is stuck in a place like this on such a beautiful day? It feels like I’ve seen you around here almost every morning and afternoon, and we all know that being inside so much is not good for growing young women.”

Caught off guard, Amy only responded, “Well I’ve never mentioned this, but I’ve always wanted to travel and see places like Ireland, but every other student is working, so I just thought that maybe I was just day-dreaming too much. People need to use their summers productively, that’s what my teachers always told me.”

“Oh hush. You can never day-dream too much. Did you know when I was young, I use to just stay inside and stare outside the window at puddles? My mother use to say…’Martha, in this world there are land turtles, and then there are sea turtles. Land turtles hide in their shells all day, doing only what they are comfortable with. Sticking with what they are use to. But then there are sea turtles, who swim the beautiful oceans, going wherever they want to go.’” She paused for a bit, as if reliving the moment, “I grew up just thinking she was telling weird stories.

She was quite the oddball for her time. But as I grew much older, I looked back and realized I had skipped out on so many opportunities. Passed up too many summers doing what others did, but never what I wanted to do.”

Aspire to Inspire: Insight and Influence

The Anonymous Counselor

8 Shyly, Amy asked, “What did you want to do?”

Mrs. Walter smiled, and then met Amy’s eyes, “To be young.” She gave a humble laugh as her eyes became fixed on the world outside through the fragile, yet bounding barrier, “You know there’s never a day that passes that I think about what chances and opportunities I watched drift away. My mother was right all along.“ She let out a soft sigh, letting go small breaths as well as past dreams, “I know I’m rambling, but seeing you in this boring place makes me see myself back at my old home…a child staring out the window at the puddles, instead of playing in them.” Her old eyes then shifted to Amy, “Answer me this: What are you? Are you a land turtle? Or are you a sea turtle?”

To be continued…

Aspire to Inspire: Insight and Influence

The Anonymous Counselor

9 “LOL” To: Tom Hey did u reed that book bout Chauser cuz i didnt get it. Its jus 2 hard 2 read n I dont kno y we r doin this.

We r good @ talkin in our english so y r we reedin all this ol crap.

Who needs it or even cares?

Canterbary Tales? More lik i-cant-spell-bary tails!

LOL. its like 2 long, n e ways busy day but txt me cuz I dont get it n ned help 4 the test Tomorrow @ 9.

TTYL ~<3 Becky Sent at 2:00 pm Apr 2 -----------To: Becky Sorry for replying so late.

I had an analytical explication essay to finish for next week.

As for the help, I don’t think I can.

We’ve been covering Chaucer for about a week now, and it isn’t that difficult to look over the chapters.

It didn’t take Chaucer a day to write the work, so I don’t think I could explain it in a day either, you know?

Plus I don’t think it’d be good for you to just get my answers instead of learning for yourself…

-Thomas Sent at 8:25 pm Apr 2 -----------

Aspire to Inspire: Insight and Influence

The Anonymous Counselor

10 To: Tom Wat? So u cant help me or not? Ive ben busy all week 2 with frends n stuff. Cant blame a girl 4 wantin 2 hav fun. I don’t get y u cant jus help me with the asignmints so I can do good n get a good grade. Wats the big deal If u share ur answers?

Every1 does it! Not lik it’s going to matter when we grow up.

Homewrk doesn’t mater cept for gettin good grades.

Y cant you get that? ~<3 Becky Sent at 8:52 pm Apr 2 -----------To: Becky I’m sorry, I just don’t have enough time to explain all the central themes that could be on the test!

And what do you mean it doesn’t matter? You do know that those subjects are meant to teach you how to process problems and solve them, not just simple things such as 1 plus 1. I can’t help you.

Not learning for yourself will deprive anyone of the opportunity to learn the essential skills that will determine whether or not they succeed in life. I’m just trying to help you in the long run.

-Thomas Sent at 8:55 pm Apr 2 ------------

Aspire to Inspire: Insight and Influence

The Anonymous Counselor

11 To: Tom Wat r u tryin to say?

That Im not gonna be successful Or something? Cuz that’s bullshit and u kno it!

You seriously can’t help me lik all those othr times?

Let me guess? Its cuz u Think ur better than me, huh?

Jus cuz you get better grades than me doesnt mean shit.

Ur smart, big deal! Oo ur a nerd!

And I can be successful! Do u kno what? Fuck you. Serously.

Its times like this you know who your real friends are…

Don’t ever talk 2 me agin. ~<3 Becky Sent at 8:58 pm Apr 2 -------------To: Becky Sad it is to say that clearly you have not learned from Alisoun in the Miller’s tale. You have options but you choose only what is wrong to fill only your horrible “needs”.

So go ahead and live a life on the advice of ignorant fools. I can now see that my patience and help in the past meant nothing to our petty friendship. I can see that the opposite of the old woman in the Wife of Bath’s tale resides within you. But hopefully, you will realize that reward rests in the diligence of consistent effort.

Maybe then can you receive such a happy ending. Goodbye and good luck on that test.

-Thomas Sent at 8:45 am Apr 3

Aspire to Inspire: Insight and Influence

The Anonymous Counselor

12 “Anonymous Acquaintance” If I were to ask "who are you?" , would you take the time to have a conversation with me and share your: likes and dislikes, loves and fears, dreams and worries, and strengths and insecurities, becoming closer as we had set out to be?

Or would you remain my anonymous acquaintance and simply share only your name?

“This is What You Are” Behold! the brilliant beauty, Effortlessly emancipating emotions, Adamant and artistic, who Utilizes intelligence with every Thought that travels throughout.

Influencing others into better morality, you Fulfill a friendship innocently and honestly, Under no will to cease.

Loved by many, this is what you are:

Aspire to Inspire: Insight and Influence

The Anonymous Counselor

13 “Reflection”

“Pistachios” Out all of the handful of pistachios that lay in the empty crevices of my palm, you are the saltiest and most bitter, of which takes the most effort to crack open that pale, thick almost impenetrable shell to obtain your sweet nourishment.

My teacher once demonstrated that if you placed a brilliant diamond before a clear mirror, you would only see the reflection of that brilliant diamond.

With that knowledge, I placed you before a clear mirror, and asked why you argued against logic.

“I Once Met Someone” I once met someone…

Like you.

Like you?

Like “you”.

Like you…

Like you.

Like (you).

Like you!

Like you.

Aspire to Inspire: Insight and Influence

The Anonymous Counselor

14 â&#x20AC;&#x153;Indirect Complimentâ&#x20AC;?

If I were to call you a woman, would you appreciate such a compliment bestowed upon you?

Or would you take offense?

Is it offensive to call a person to be strong like a great wall, carefully constructed, foundation laid, keeping the dangers that threaten loved ones at bay?

Or is it rude to imply that such beauty could exist in such perfect frames?

And how wrong I must be to ever recognize great intuition and intelligence, for such a statement would be too harsh for your ears to bear.

Clearly, I am the antagonist for witnessing such creative inspiration.

Which is sad I must admit, that if I were to ever call you a woman, you would ignore my indirect compliment and simply reply that I am just a man.

Aspire to Inspire: Insight and Influence

The Anonymous Counselor

15 “Microwaves” Neon numbers, flashing fiercely as a meal turns, Warming so the essence of each taste is enhanced, However...those numbers...how they change, Counting down from thirty-seven...

They lure me as the humming enters into my ears.

I've always heard of stories about how the waves from these machines Messed with the minds of many; frying brains, melting eyes, bursting blood vessels…

Are they only rumors?

The thought entices me.

Dinner is almost done; I can smell its intoxicating aroma, Yet the timer takes its time, Mocking my hunger As I stand watching.

15, 14, 13...patience, I say, But my finger shakes as the neon numbers, Call out to me, saying, "You must wait".

Oh…I must wait?

How dare it...How dare it talk to me in that tone!

I am a man and nothing tells me what to do!

It must be jealousy! Yes! Must be! Machines are Unable to think which is why this machine continues to mock me!

For I am the master and it is my servant!

9,8,7...just a little more, Just wait a little longer as the neon numbers Slowly change to zero.

Why I am so tense?

Oh how those neon numbers continue to mock me…go faster…

GO FUCKING FASTER! I CAN’T TAKE THIS ANY LONGER! What…what have I done?

I didn’t mean to throw that cursed machine out the window…I promise!

It wanted to just…go flying.

3,2,1...

Was this a timer for dinner?

Or the countdown to insanity?

Aspire to Inspire: Insight and Influence

The Anonymous Counselor

16 â&#x20AC;&#x153;Sometimesâ&#x20AC;?

Sometimes hundreds of millions of thoughts circulate inside dark crowded cells, waiting for a light's release.

We as "complex" individuals, however, become pedantic, pouring excessive energy into the meaningless

Just to find stressed mentality, not allowing single-filed thoughts to form, but instead clusters breaking boundaries.

Need to take a break?

An impossible task when considering all that must be done.

To worry about the mistakes of the past; the trials of the present; and the outcome of the future...no one could

Relax.

Aspire to Inspire: Insight and Influence

The Anonymous Counselor

17 The Demon: A Warning to Those it Stalks College: meeting new people, exploring new ideas, trying new vices, finding new sins, and discovering the new you; seems like there are millions (excuse my hyperbole) of new experiences that one can go though at the beginning of the semester and although it may be seem simple from a distance, the moment you take one step closer to the glass, the animals leap forward catching any innocent and ignorant bystander by surprise.

Then the demon arrives, slowly finding its way into the bodies of those who dare to become that which many cannot. It lurks not in the shadows nor water nor air, for it is invisible to the human eye, watching and waiting to place its powerful hands around the necks of the unaware to gradually drain the life from within. It avoids the lazy, seeking challenges and those who are accustomed to this familiar fiend, testing its ability to bring about internal destruction. And why would it not? This demon carries the same characteristics of those it goes after. It needs to prove itself; show that it can perform the tasks it boasts. Until its victims can realize the presence of this demon and learn how to escape it, the demon shall never quit. And thy name is: Ambition.

When you first get to college, there are probably many thoughts going in your mind. If you are the shy type, you may be stressing over who your roommate is and whether or not you will make any friends. If you the wild type, you're instantly picturing college as Coolidge College or any other college from the crazy movies that portray it. Sorry Van Wilder, college is not entirely like that. Whoever you are, you will be thinking about your situation. Now if mommy and daddy have provided everything for you, then you obviously are not stressed unless you have decided to take responsibility regardless or found it hard to sleep at night without them tucking you in. Regardless of that, most students have similar problems: they have tons of free time, they want to meet people, and they want money. However, how to achieve that goal is very difficult upon itself.

I've once heard that there is a triangle for all college students that listed: Good Grades, Social Life, and Good Sleep, followed with the phrase, "Pick only two". And as harsh as it may seem, that idea is very true. However, what about money? You can't just spend every day studying, partying, and sleeping, right? There has to be a time when your friends or even girlfriend/boyfriend if you met one, decided to go out into the town, what if you didn't have cash to join? You may not want to spend any money like my roommate did, but for many others, they would like to be ABLE to afford it. That's where a part-time job comes in.

Then again, maybe you are the ambitious type. With the other remainder of the time you have free, you decide to maybe join a few volunteer opportunities and student organizations. You like meeting people, and that resume isn't going to improve itself. Getting involved can be fun, but it is time consuming and only meant for those that can take the responsibility to become leaders.

The first semester of my college life, my family was financially insecure and being the type of son who did not want to deprive my younger siblings at home, I immediately took a part-time job. Along with that, I decided to get involved in the

Aspire to Inspire: Insight and Influence

The Anonymous Counselor

18 school to help improve my resume later on, joining two-three groups such as NGH Activities Board, Resident's Hall Association, and Dragons After Dark. Trying to promote positive opportunities for students on campus, I found myself investing many hours/days into organizing and helping set up all these events such as Open Mic Night, Crush 4 Ur Crush (A charity to the veteransâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; hospital), Casino Nights, Underground Dances, and our great event the grand Mardi Gras Masquerade Ball. Although fun it was it was literally draining to the soul. It's fun to provide for others and allow them to have fun. Rewarding as it may be, my body could feel the something that followed me: the demon.

Now, with a part-time job, school involvement, and all the friends you met and continue to meet, you face the harsh reality of college: tough classes. Although you would have liked to escape the symptoms of senioritis from last year or earlier, you will find there is a much more contagious disease: college-itis. Similar in structure, both "diseases" can be harmful to not only your academic career, but to your future as well. As new students transition, many do not understand the amount of work needed to excel. "Do you know what? I'm going to try to get college done earlier and take 19 or 21 credits". Yeah, thatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s a bad idea. With the limited time in your day already, the more classes one takes, the harder it will take to do well in each (unless you are a natural born super genius, but chances are, you probably aren't.)

Let's recap on what has been added to the plate: friends, relationships, part-time jobs, student involvement, and now an overwhelming class schedule. Chances are, at this point, you think: I could just quit if it's too much, right? Well, which one to quit? Say you have a car and it breaks down and your parents, who are already paying for college, need help paying for the large expenses? Do you really think you could just stop working and risk losing your car? How about your friends? You really don't want to just abandon them do you? Although with your schedule already, you will barely have time to see them, but that doesn't mean give up on them altogether. You can't give up school. With the prices you pay, it would be ridiculous to think that after paying such a fee, you just quit altogether. If you have too many classes that you can't handle, don't get me wrong, drop one or two, but don't let all your classes suffer. And consider student involvement? From all the choices, I would say that this option is the most expendable, however, for those who feel that they have made a commitment, it may seem hard to just quit that either.

What is my point that I am getting at? BE WARY OF THE DEMON AND STAY OFF ITS RADAR! From a guy who has done all of these and even more, I have the personal experience to tell you that suffering under the symptoms of ambition is very draining. Not only does it take up all the time one has to them, but it also creates a strict schedule to follow, eliminating any chance to relax or even have fun. I live only 30 minutes away from home, however due to my schedule; I haven't been able to visit often. I have met many friends, but I rarely have time to talk to any of them and I constantly fear they think I have abandoned them. And due to all the involvement and the part-time job, my grades have fallen and I fear my teachers will see me as a slacker. There are many things that can bring about the demon and his little sidekick named "Stress". Sometimes the little guy will punch you in the stomach and knock the wind out of you, and other times he can climb into your

Aspire to Inspire: Insight and Influence

The Anonymous Counselor

19 ears and sit on your brain, bringing about pressure and the weight of his presence. You find yourself constantly planning, thinking, worrying, stressing, and overall wishing for a day where nothing needed to be done...

I miss laying in the sun, with the rays on my face, a hat carefully placed over my eyes as I felt warm breezes brush against whatever side of my body would happen to stand in its nonchalant way. I miss walking in the rain, feeling cool drops surround you as symphonies of earthly sounds surround. I miss being able to sit down and have a fun conversation or do something fun with a large group of friends. I know that times have changed and that I have become a man with responsibilities, but most people often wish for what they have lost even if it were the simplest of things, right?

It is just sad to say, the demon keeps me close and monitors my every move. And his little sidekick prepares the bat to attack at my body when I follow in the paths of the victims of the two. 'Tis the life of the ambitious.

-Hao Nguyen This note is not for those who do not carry this mentality, nor is it a sermon to preach to those on how to act, but a personal warning for any who wish to "bite off more than they can chew" (as painful it is to use a clichĂŠ tripe). It is physically and mentally draining and can be consequential to oneâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s health, social life, mentality, and judgment. Don't follow the footsteps I painstakingly implanted and do what is necessary for whatever your situation needs. Take a walk in the rain with some friends; I assure you that it will be a peaceful and mind-clearing experience if you are not afraid to get your clothes wet.

For those who still wish to be among the ambitious, do what makes you happy, and take my warning: beware of the demon.

Aspire to Inspire: Insight and Influence

The Anonymous Counselor

20 The Anonymous Counselor: Sloth (E) From: 107-5684 Hey. I saw the note u posted in the school hallway yesterday. “An anonymous counselor”. I’m not sure who you think you are and what you are doing, but you really don’t want to get mixed up in the Hell holes of people’s lives.

Sent at 4:30 pm Nov 2 To: 107-5684 Don’t worry about me. I’m glad you saw the information. How can I help you?

Sent at 4:34 pm Nov 2 From: 107-5684 Whoa there. I’m not one of your patients. You can’t help me.

Sent at 4:35 pm Nov 2 To: 107-5684 So you have nothing to help? That’s great to hear.

Sent at 4:36 pm Nov 2 From: 107-5684 A little sarcastic aren’t we?

Sent at 4:37 pm Nov 2 To: 107-5684 Not at all. It makes me happy knowing others are happy.

Sent at 4:38 pm Nov 2 From: 107-5684 I never said I was happy.

Sent at 4:49 pm Nov 2 To: 107-5684 Then what are you?

Sent at 4:50 pm Nov 2 From: 107-5684 Incurable…

Sent at 5:15 pm Nov 2 To: 107-5684

Aspire to Inspire: Insight and Influence

The Anonymous Counselor

21 Is this a disease? I didn’t know you were ill. Why do you feel incurable?

Sent at 5:20 pm Nov 2 From: 107-5684 You obviously can’t relate so no need to tell you.

Sent at 5:21 pm Nov 2 To: 107-5684 Well you answered the posters. I obviously did not pursue you. Usually that means you were curious in what I have to offer.

Sent at 5:24 pm Nov 2 From: 107-5684 Or I just wanted to see the prick behind the joke?

Think of that?

Sent at 5:25 Nov 2 To: 107-5684 Aggression is a sign of a high guard. Why are you so angry? Did I offend you? I can assure I did not intend to.

Sent at 5:32 pm Nov 2 From: 107-5684 No, you did not offend me…idk Sent at 5:35 pm Nov 2 To: 107-5684 Then why are you so aggressive?

Sent at 5:40 pm Nov 2 From: 107-5684 This is bullshit. What is with all these questions?

What do YOU know about me?! You don’t understand.

Sent at 5:42 pm Nov 2 To: 107-5684 Then help me understand.

Sent at 5:45 pm Nov 2

From: 107-5684

Aspire to Inspire: Insight and Influence

The Anonymous Counselor

22 Youre like everyone else. You would judge me and those who judge can’t help anyone but themselves.

Sent at 9:12 pm Nov 2 To: 107-5684 I don’t remember making judgments. Maybe observations, but I was not judging you.

Sent at 9:13 pm Nov 2 From: 107-5684 What do you mean by observations?

Sent at 9:14 pm Nov 2 To: 107-5684 It’s a complicated idea.

Sent at 9:16 pm Nov 2 From: 107-5684 Like life?

Sent at 9:17 pm Nov 2 To: 107-5684 In a way. Life is a complicated system with simple elements, but also it can be seen as a simple system with complex elements.

Sent at 9:19 pm Nov 2 From: 107-5684 Youre not makin any sense.

Sent at 9:21 pm Nov 2 To: 107-5684 The mind usually makes sense of only what it chooses to. It doesn’t make much sense to you, but I can tell that you are clearly interested about the subject at hand, correct?

Sent at 9:24 pm Nov 2 From: 107-5684 Maybe a little. I like to know things. I’m an intellectual like that.

Sent at 9:30 pm Nov 2

To: 107-5684

Aspire to Inspire: Insight and Influence

The Anonymous Counselor

23 And what do you like to learn about? History?

Math? Literature?

Sent at 9:32 pm Nov 2 From: 107-5684 No. None of that school bullshit. I’m into more realistic ideas.

Sent at 9:35 pm Nov 2 To: 107-5684 And education is not realistic?

Sent at 9:37 pm Nov 2 From: 107-5684 I’d say more like useless…

Sent at 9:38 pm Nov 2 To: 107-5684 And why do you think it’s useless?

Sent at 9:52 pm Nov 2 From: 107-5684 I don’t feel like talking about all these subjects with you. All you keep doing is asking and asking questions that have no real significance to the matter at hand which is that you can’t help anyone with your counselor bullshit.

Sent at 10:07 pm Nov 2 To: 107-5684 And why do you think that?

Sent at 10:08 pm Nov 2 From: 107-5684 I DON”T KNOW! How the hell can you expect me to sit here and read this lame ass conversation and believe that you actually have any idea who I am based on the responses I get! You haven’t looked through my eyes! You haven’t felt my pain! You don’t have my thoughts! YOU AREN’T ME! Sent at 10:13 pm Nov 2

To: 107-5684

Aspire to Inspire: Insight and Influence

The Anonymous Counselor

24 Alright, I apologize for your perception of me, however, I disagree. I can read your lines as if they are emotions jumping off the page. They only appear when you pay close attention.

Sent at 10:17 pm Nov 2 From: 107-5684 Stop acting like you know everything! I can see through this act of yours. You could never know how I feelâ&#x20AC;Śonly I know it.

Sent at 10:19 pm Nov 2 To: 107-5684 Of course your pain is unique, but so is it similar with many individuals with the rest of the world. Whether you like it or not, people tend to be much more similar to each other than they would want to be. If you are so set out to be different, why do say the same things as your many counterparts?

Sent at 10:25 pm Nov 2 From: 107-5684 And how is that? Enlighten me.

Sent at 10:26 pm Nov 2 To: 107-5684 First of all, by responding to my counseling posters, you internally seek for help, although you deny it.

You are a huge skeptic or at least you put on that persona. You have a very high guard, demonstrated by the aggressive responses you have sent. High aggression is often linked with preventing people to get close. You are definitely one of those people.

Sent at 10:31 pm Nov 2 To: 107-5684 You are not an intellectual, but more of a philosopher and a negative one. You donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t study anything educational and only think about the darkness of life.

Yet you do take time to think through with these perceptions seeing how consistent your spelling is as compared to others. You take your time.

Sent at 10:33 pm Nov 2

Aspire to Inspire: Insight and Influence

The Anonymous Counselor

25

To: 107-5684 By immediately assuming I’m going to judge you, it is obvious that sensation is very present in your life.

And with great harassment comes the social disease of low self-esteem. You try putting yourself in this persona that you don’t think I can do anything or that I don’t know anything, but when you look at your words as a whole, it screams, “Help me.”

Sent at 10:35 pm Nov 2 From: 107-5684 Shit…so you know your stuff. But I’m sure you can’t help me. Like I said I’m incurable.

Sent at 11:57 pm Nov 2 To: 107-5684 Instead of worrying about you being incurable, we focus on just you. I have some business to take care of, but can I get your name so that we may continue this conversation another time?

Sent at Sent at 11:59 pm Nov 2 From: 107-5684 Michael Sent at 12:00 am Nov 3 To: Michael Nice to meet you Michael. I look forward to chatting with you.

Sent at 12:01 am Nov 3 From: Michael Later Sent at 12:05 am Nov 3 To be continued…

Aspire to Inspire: Insight and Influence

The Anonymous Counselor

26 “Adamant Abecedarius” Adamant you are in your attempts, Blatant with your betrayal, Ceasing only to critique my character.

Done at such a depressing matter, you Effectively prove your incompetence by Fluidly speaking its tongue.

Grand you must be!, Harnessing such thoughts of Irrelevant skills and ideas, Joking about how I waste my time Knowing knowledge.

Little do you know, I will continue Making influence with my words, being: Non-narcissistic, Optimistic, Powerful.

Quick you are to dismiss, but questions you Raise have some truth to them.

So you say I am flawed, and you are the better.

True in few eyes, but why do you not relent?

Understanding I have become, but Valid you still assume you are!

Xavier, come quick! This mutant cannot Yield to its ignorant ways.

Zealous I may be, at least I know my ABC’s.

“Intentional Fallacy” When I wrote about a raging river Running through the verdant valleys During the days of spring, The masses flocked to my work, Claiming that I knew much about life.

They discussed and exclaimed!

How my words spoke to them, Alluding to various stories Once seen through their eyes And tasted through their tongues.

They called my words genius, As if I were Edmund Spenser himself.

Ironically, little did they know, I was only writing about a raging river.

Aspire to Inspire: Insight and Influence

The Anonymous Counselor

27 “I Once Saw A Kid” I once saw a kid Who use to watch the rain fall, But no longer does.

Instead, he looks down, Avoiding wet drops that strike, Every time he walks.

There was once a sun That gave him shape-shifting clouds For him to wonder.

However, through time He watched them, disappearing, Replaced by darkness.

He was always scared, Afraid of what was to come, But she gave him hope.

She would always sing Songs and impossible notes; Forever lasting.

That was when she was, And not now when she isn’t.

He learned his lessons.

He use to stare long At empty pages, blank sheets, Awaiting to read.

Time never took time, It had a schedule also, Yet he couldn’t wait.

So he took the pen, Opening to the pages To write a story.

This was long ago, Before the sun rose again And the clouds returned.

I saw him today, Walking in the recent rain; His head was held high.

Aspire to Inspire: Insight and Influence

The Anonymous Counselor

28 â&#x20AC;&#x153;Being A Manâ&#x20AC;?

When Man was made, Ingredients were thrown Into the great, steel cauldron.

Viciously did they burn and boil As loving hands plunged Into its scalding concoction, stirring.

Of this ancient recipe, Muscle cars and motor oil, Steak and burgers, Pitbulls and tigers, And beer were not included In the making of the Man. Although such ingredients May become important factors In a life of rough hands, They do not make them.

Man was made out of muscle, Not of it alone, nor was he Meant to be the loudest biker Who could never back down; That was not what the Maker intended.

Instead, among his burning hands, Stirring with great patience, rested various ingredients, virtues: Responsibility, Honesty, and Persistence; Temperance, Honor, and Courage; Compassion, Understanding, and Love; All ingredients to name a few, mixed.

And the misconceptions bring him pain, Pouring salt on the burn marks that lay on his hands, Sacrificed for his creation.

To be a male is very different Than being a man.

Aspire to Inspire: Insight and Influence

The Anonymous Counselor

29 The Anonymous Counselor: Gluttony (E) From: Rebecca I’m a fat, no good and I will never be happy!

Everything thinks I am I know it!

Sent at 11:57 am on Oct 7 To: Rebecca You apparently didn’t learn anything from our last session.

Sent at 12:00 pm on Oct 8 From: Rebecca If I was truly fat and I asked you if I was, would you hide the truth?

Sent at 12:03 pm on Oct 7 To: Rebecca You are what you say.

Sent at 12:05 pm on Oct 8 From: Rebecca I knew it! You really do think Im fat!

Sent at 12:06 pm on Oct 7 To: Rebecca You said you are a religious woman, correct?

Sent at 12:09 pm on Oct 8 From: Rebecca Yes, but what does that have to do with this?

Sent at 12:11 pm on Oct 7 To: Rebecca You believe in the words and actions of Christ, correct?

Sent at 12:13 pm on Oct 8

From: Rebecca

Aspire to Inspire: Insight and Influence

The Anonymous Counselor

30 I don’t see where this is going, but yes I believe in Christ.

Sent at 12:15 pm on Oct 7 To: Rebecca When Pilate confronted Christ, the angry, pagan crowds accused him of many atrocities. Pilate justly asked a simple question: was it true? Jesus simply replied, “I am what you say.” He admitted to it, so it must be true, correct?

Sent at 12:17 pm on Oct 8 From: Rebecca Well no! Jesus did nothing wrong! The crowds were just blind to his truth.

Sent at 12:19 pm on Oct 7 To: Rebecca Then why did he say what he said?

Sent at 12:20 pm on Oct 8 From: Rebecca He knew that it wouldn’t matter what he said. It would not change the crowd’s opinion.

Sent at 12:22 pm on Oct 7 To: Rebecca Sounds like giving up on hope to me, don’t you think?

Sent at 12:23 pm on Oct 8 From: Rebecca Never! Christ knew that he taught the truth, the life, and the way. It would not matter what others knew him for. What only mattered was what he knew: the word of God. Sent at 12:25 pm on Oct 7

From: Rebecca I think I’m starting to understand…

Sent at 12:26 pm on Oct 7 To: Rebecca

Aspire to Inspire: Insight and Influence

The Anonymous Counselor

31 Exactly. It does not matter what others “know” of you, only what you truly know of yourself. Ignore the claims and crowds and look to the positive truth.

Sent at 12:27 pm on Oct 8 From: Rebecca But, I don’t know this truth…

Sent at 12:29 pm on Oct 7 To: Rebecca You are just blind. Stop staring at the flames and start noticing the sweet marshmallows slowly burning away.

Sent at 12:31 pm on Oct 8 From: Rebecca I don’t understand…

Sent at 12:32 pm on Oct 7 To: Rebecca In time, you will. Just be patient and let it come to you. And when it does, you will be able to truly see.

Sent at 12:36 pm on Oct 8 From: Rebecca You know a lot of stuff. Where did you learn all of this? Are you a real counselor?

Sent at 12:40 pm on Oct 7 To: Rebecca Do not indulge in the unnecessary. I must go now, but we will continue this conversation at a later time.

Sent at 12:42 pm on Oct 8 From: Rebecca Alright, looking forward to the next session.

Sent at 12:43 pm on Oct 8

Aspire to Inspire: Insight and Influence

The Anonymous Counselor

32 “Apocalipsi” He looked to the sky At dark clouds coming near.

It would rain soon.

There was no sun in sight, no warmth.

Even the cardinals could not sing Nor could the cattails bloom.

Only salt in the air; bittersweet.

He could only feel the wind Prickle his skin.

Heavy rain was coming; It was well due, But he did not move.

He just stood there, Watching as others ran.

Mankind had brought this upon themselves And until lessons are learned, idle hands raised, This time…there would be no rainbow.

“The Three I‘s” Inspiration, Powerful, concrete, Breaking, fixing, and building; Architects are everywhere; Aspire.

Insight Is difficult To perceive correctly, But when accomplished, it creates Wonders.

Influence: The dream Spreading to all; Fulfilling futures to come: My goal.

Aspire to Inspire: Insight and Influence

The Anonymous Counselor

33 â&#x20AC;&#x153;Evaluated Identityâ&#x20AC;?

A boy use to write Haikus about the people And their emotions.

Depicting nature, He also formed senryu With his written words.

Crazy at it sounded, he was not crazy; Realistic was more appropriate, but Eager he was to attempt literary Art with a wary mind, Talent as ambition with a little Irony disguised as ignorance.

Very creative and difficult to perceive; Easy for those who don't always read from left to right.

Confusing?

These words Do not mean to Disguise themselves but instead bring focus, Enlightening.

And how easy it is to Belittle these words Carefully constructed to Deconstruct how one Reads these thoughts.

Aspire to inspire And set out on a Journey into the vastness Of a world beyond imagination To do what makes you happy, E x t e r n a l l y and internally; Take the first step---a boot on a road.

But then again, Why take this writer's Words to mind, when Clearly everyone is old Enough to choose when To kindly ask for directions?

Understanding life is easy and simple

Aspire to Inspire: Insight and Influence

The Anonymous Counselor

34 Like words in a book; Simple with complex elements and Complex with simple elements.

It's just a simple square, Full of straight, clear sides For eyes to focus on, but Unable to be d e f i n e d.

Recognizable, clearly it is, Of characteristics taught During many young years Forgotten for ignorance.

So this protagonist is not static; He will grow.

Nor does his writing depict ritual practice; He will grow.

And maybe his knowledge is limited; He will grow.

It does not matter what order(s) he chooses to follow; He will grow.

So what if he chooses to Ironically express with false ignorance In the hopes to influence those Who he fears will forget the dusty jars Sitting in the basement?

Contained butterflies can die Unless they are opened and freed, So he once read.

How it is done, it does not matter; All that does, however, depends upon Open originality as well as an evaluated identity.

Aspire to Inspire: Insight and Influence

The Anonymous Counselor

35 â&#x20AC;&#x153;Original Blueprintâ&#x20AC;?

A strong-framed house With sturdy stone pillars Made by diligent hands was carved In the original blueprint, But instead a diamond-studded barn, Shaking and rotting in the wind, painted in oil was built.

Its animals lie in defiled cages With no hay to eat nor sleep, Only eyes falling at a single Beam of light, unreachable, From a window above.

To their forsaken ears Come sounds of laughter, The singing of songs From fruit-bearing farmers, Basking in the stolen harvest.

Outside a white picket fence Meant to protect The once tenderly-cared yard, Fell to lazy fingers and Now became a wild field, Full of dead horses Constantly trampled upon.

Was this the dream?

Ignorant travelers ask for direction To the bright, red door, A home of expectation, But are only silently guided To the broken barn, To a sign painted in blood:

"Welcome to Amierca"

Aspire to Inspire: Insight and Influence

The Anonymous Counselor

36 â&#x20AC;&#x153;What I Once Called Homeâ&#x20AC;?

Slowly driving to what I once called home, memories play like old, lost films: black and white, subliminal and fuzzy, of a childhood unfulfilled.

The driveway, full of cracks, seem the same, although I had changed.

Small and abandoned, the artificial lawn, full of leaves and weeds, remained a reminder of a child, sitting in the grass, wishing for more.

Brown and tattered, with dead lights from disappointing holidays still hanging from what once was impossible to reach, a trailer stood before me as I recalled simple times of days in solitary.

There were windows, small, but wide enough for light to illuminate dark rooms where childhood dreams of common opportunities drifted into the shadows.

Only my pen and paper, or whatever I could find to use, would know the ambition.

A strong smell, once overwhelming,

Aspire to Inspire: Insight and Influence

The Anonymous Counselor

37 had faded, but, for those that remember it, still attracts the senses as the door once closed opens again.

Inside, walls and floors that can no longer recognize me, show a familiar emptiness, at one time felt understandable.

I walked down a hallway, remembering the nightmares of shadowy hands reaching out to drag any unexpecting child, unaware of its presence; which explained why I was never the victim.

The cold bathroom sat at the end, uncleaned, dim from drapes dropped to shield away eyes of invaders that father once tried to protect us from.

We no longer needed the protection, and was why the drapes remained.

I stood in the open doorway, closed often during childhood, staring at my cell, my confinement.

The large window had brightened the small bedroom, brighter than I had ever remembered, but then again...

I never really tried.

Aspire to Inspire: Insight and Influence

The Anonymous Counselor

38 Indents rested in the carpet, full of stains of juice, now replaced, where two beds once stood: my brother's and mine.

A small iron vent, attached to the floor, breathed softly and easily.

With all the Legos and small toys we had lost, someone had finally cleared its throat.

Silence and peace, everything so tranquil, as I could almost hear, constant sounds of old arguments of bills, school, food, and any other financial issue coming from the outside.

Silly to think that I expected to walk out into a war zone, just to find empty rooms of a past life (not that I had died, although reborn, I was).

It was here in this room where a piece of meâ&#x20AC;Ś remained.

My childhood confined in a cell of insecurity of many levels.

It was here where I began fabricating worlds...better worlds of fantasy and to escape these dark walls exploring the world outside.

Aspire to Inspire: Insight and Influence

The Anonymous Counselor

39 Yet today, to father I do forgive, for the sheltering that deprived me of a normal childhood, that he was right, the world is a dangerous place, worse than what was inside these safe, dark walls.

Leaving the past in the past, I walked out the doorway, not away from memories, but away from: the lower class lifestyle, the fair reality of disappointment, the sheltering from the world outside, and the foundation I grew up on.

And as the film of memories began to roll the credits, I said good bye to what I once called home.

Aspire to Inspire: Insight and Influence

The Anonymous Counselor

40 â&#x20AC;&#x153;A Balloon Will Rise For Every Soulâ&#x20AC;?

An old man once asked me Why I chose to try to enlighten the world Rather than ignore it all.

"How can you accomplish such a goal?"

I told him, as a young man, I was ignorant, but capable because so.

To enlighten was the task Given by circumstance And as the patient architect, Constantly building and constructing, I had a schedule to abide.

Astonished, yet confused, He pointed out the flaws in such mentality, Claiming it unnecessary and unneeded.

"Why work so hard for nothing in return?"

Even janitors must clean the stains Left behind by unappreciative others, However, when a fresh soul enters, They find purity to do as they please.

Is it not the goal to influence The new to learn from the old To create the better from the worse, In order to achieve the best And prevent the worst?

It is easy to write about simple verses About specific moments and emotions, But where does the message reside?

What is the lesson learned?

A tear from his wrinkled old face, He shed joy for the race of few, The selfless and influential, The makers of morality,

Aspire to Inspire: Insight and Influence

The Anonymous Counselor

41 The faithful forgotten.

Reality was real however, As he told me,

"The World will show no care."

But it did phase this mind, These fingers, this hand, From creating words to Create life, a new society, Even if only one child Learns these lessons, And aspires to inspire, Everything will be fulfilled.

And who cares if such result happens Long after I reside where none can read, A balloon will rise for every soul Influenced by the influencer, And I tell you this, After this building is built, its rooms cleaned, And its people enlightened, Long after I'm gone,

Look up to the sky, And stare at the colors.

Aspire to Inspire: Insight and Influence

The Anonymous Counselor

42 “The Meaning of Life” Much can be learned about the (meaning) of life from a red box in a white room.

“Symbols” $ is but a # & frankly, this (greed) found @ the heart of society will increase the % of corruption - the youth, but they will follow!

Few ? life and seek to become > the rest of the world.

There are many * * * over the ^^^ that we have forgotten; many [bricks] about to break; many | |'s about to fall.

Everything has meaning and we need to see that we: society  = hope for tomorrow.

Just understand the symbols.

Aspire to Inspire: Insight and Influence

The Anonymous Counselor

43 â&#x20AC;&#x153;A White Balloonâ&#x20AC;?

On the corner of Washington Ave and Liberty Street, I met a sweet, young girl wearing a red dress and blue shoes.

She later reminded me of someone I once knew, A once well-mannered, honest, and aspiring girl Turned into a dirty, obese attention whore With too many dollars falling from "empty" pockets.

The young are always so easily influenced, That truth I always knew (although she did not).

I asked her name, And she told me, "America".

What a beautiful name, And as a young kid, I offered her a white balloon Of which she took with a smile.

She said that she always wanted to make people happy, Always saying silly things such as taking the lottery money And just spreading it to the people who needed it, Sharing bread and wine with everyone And becoming a teacher to "make people smarter".

I laughed and smiled, so naive I first thought, However, she did not laugh, she was serious.

"One day, everyone will be happy, healthy, wealthy, not rich, and smart.

People will love one another, and all will be fair."

The light changed, the signals flashing, She shared an innocent smile as she stepped onto the marked crosswalk.

I was about to follow, but unlike her, I foresaw The events about to unfold.

There was no horn, no sound, Just abruptness caused By those who could not be patient.

I stared at the catastrophe, shocked, confused, And I called out to the crowd For help for this dying girl, Red on red, black on blue, But no one noticed.

They only stared at a white balloon rising in the sky As I began to wonder, what happened to US?

Aspire to Inspire: Insight and Influence

The Anonymous Counselor

44 â&#x20AC;&#x153;Learn to Spellâ&#x20AC;?

"Learn how to spell", "Grammar check", "You forgot a comma"; Why do these seem to be relevant In a world unable to learn That perfection is but a dream, But progress and motivation are The instruments that fuel society?

It is note-worthy that society Like language must be structured perfectly, Elements form a building: Letters to bricks, words to beams, Sentences to walls, paragraphs to rooms, And intelligent understanding To form the foundation.

However, when dirt-stained hands Lay the final block in this grand construction, Does he focus on that individual block, Or does he turn to his whole creation?

Does he worry about criticism from Ignorant and envious neighbors, Or does he take a second to Appreciate such a beauty?

It is a pity, that in a world of knowledge, Many place just the words under a microscope.

It does not matter how well the pen moves To perfectly curve the tail of a "Y", A letter is just a letter, Until one finds meaning in that Symmetrical (by choice) image.

Take a second to think Aspire to Inspire: Insight and Influence

The Anonymous Counselor

45 Of just a name, Any name, it does not matter which, And when the surface is considered, There but stands Two proper nouns.

But underneath, when one recites, They find memories, quotes, Anecdotes, quirks, an image, A life.

And although many would argue, That there is great importance in the word, Remember that it is not the name, But the person with the name, The context; the meaning.

And same with these words, this society, That this single message is relevant To not just "teachers" and "commentors", Society must not only "learn to spell", But know what they are spelling.

Perfection is just a dream, But buildings are still beautiful.

Aspire to Inspire: Insight and Influence

The Anonymous Counselor

46 Excerpt: “The Game: Scene 3” Lights fade in. Jessica enters to introduce the next scene.

JESSICA Now wasn’t that just beautiful? Talk about sweeping you off your feet! (Beat.) Or more like dragging you off your feet. Now that you’ve seen the violent, romantic styles of the caveman, let’s move to a more civilized time during the reign of Roman Emperor Titus.

Imagine wild lions, clashing swords, and the cheer of the crowds from all sides as the gladiators fought for their lives! Let’s take a trip to the age of the Great Coliseum.

Lights fade out. Exeunt Jessica.

[CUE ROMAN TRUMPETS] Lights fade in. Enters Aurelius, a beautiful roman woman, fanning herself.

AURELIUS (Stares out into the horizon, the fourth wall.)

Ah, great Apollo graces us with such a beautiful day. And Mother Flora has blossomed her colorful offspring as I can see. Such beautiful flowers and meadows, blanketed by a sea of light. How magnificent.

Enters Perus, a dim-witted, masculine gladiator.

AURELIUS (Catching a glimpse of him.)

Oh my…(to herself: ) It seems to me that Mercury has sent me a message from the gods…a big, strong one.

PERUS (Sees her and strolls by.)

Well, well. Who is this delicate flower? If I did not know any better, I think you were Venus in the flesh.

AURELIUS You flatter me. But if you wish to court a beautiful woman as myself, you’ll have to try harder than that.

(She takes a few steps away and then turns back to him.)

I’ve been courted by various men, some men of Jupiter’s heavenly image and some who I thought should have just stayed with Pluto in the underworld.

PERUS That is quite the comparison, my beauty.

AURELIUS Yes it is. However, during these trials and errors, I’ve come to realize that there is always

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47 a trick or muse that men possess when courting. Artisans always wanted to paint me.

Romantic right? Not when they insist on making you look like a Gorgon!

PERUS Good thing I can’t paint.

AURELIUS I would hope not. Then the philosophers always had interesting ideas, wasting away so much of my time that even old Saturn would be exhausted. Always talking about the world being round. I almost laughed.

PERUS That’s because everyone knows the world is flat. Duh. AURELIUS And then those scientists always wanting to go off into the wild, leaving me behind, just to return, not with a single sign of affection, telling me that the rain is not brought by the gods and goddesses.

PERUS Then where does it come from? Clouds? Don’t make me laugh. Sounds like you have courted with many strange men.

AURELIUS (Teasing) They were more like boys. And that leaves me with one question: are you like them?

Are you a boy who wishes to be with a woman, such as myself?

PERUS (Confidently laughs.)

Need not worry, my beauty, for I am no boy. I am the bravest of men with strength to match. I am like a Spartan, who shows no fear to the heavens, the underworld, and all in-between.

AURELIUS That is quite the remark. Are you a soldier?

PERUS No my beauty, I am the great Perus! The reincarnates of the legendary Verus and Priscus.

I am the great gladiator who has faced countless foes, great lions, and an elephant or two.

I am the champion of the Coliseum!

(Poses bravely.)

AURELIUS (Unimpressed) Oh. You’re just a gladiator.

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48 PERUS (Surprised and offended.)

Wait what? JUST a gladiator?

AURELIUS Yes, you’re just a slave of the Romans who fights for our amusements. Although, I often found the kind barbaric and pathetic.

PERUS I am no slave. I have actually volunteered to fight for sport. Call it my occupation.

AURELIUS You fight for self-entertainment? That’s quite brave of you. And you think because of that, you are worthy of my courtship?

PERUS (Advances towards her.)

If the god of love, Mars allows it-AURELIUS You mean Cupid.

PERUS Whatever! If CUPID, allows it, I wish to take your golden heart.

(He tries to brush the hair out of her face.)

AURELIUS (Moves away from his attempt.)

Hands off gladiator. You may have the words to woo a woman, but do you have the courage and strength you speak so highly of?

PERUS (Aggressively defensive.)

DO I have the courage? DO I have the strength? Can you not see it from the way I stand before you?

AURELIUS Not at all.

PERUS Well I assure you, I am the most courageous and the strongest of the gladiators. And if I have to prove to you-AURELIUS That would be helpful.

PERUS

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49 What I was trying to say! Is that, if I have to prove to you of my courage and strength, I’ll fight in the Great Coliseum! I’ll do battle with the greatest of warriors and the fiercest of beasts to prove myself…to you.

AURELIUS And I’m just to take your world? What combat skills could you possibly have? How about you demonstrate before going off to kill yourself.

(She steps aside and presents him the floor.)

Go ahead.

PERUS (Prepares himself.)

My skills were acquired from many battles in the Great Coliseum. With these skills, I have killed many men and many beats. Such as my battle with five gladiators in the Battle of the Five Spears!

AURELIUS I heard that battle only had two soldiers and one only had one leg. And I heard that the gladiator just rampaged in random directions with no technique and more so lucky swings.

PERUS Then obviously that wasn’t me.

AURELIUS I heard that his name was Perus.

PERUS Entirely coincidental.

AURELIUS Funny how he said the same thing you did: “I am the reincarnate of Verus and Priscus themselves!” Don’t tell me that’s also coincidental?

PERUS (Frustrated.)

That’s besides the point! What the point is, is that I am a great fighter. Behold!

(He draws his sword with difficulty and goes into a random frenzy of horrible-looking sword swings. He gets winded and takes a break. When he looks back up to Aurelius, he poses.)

Does my superior technique not impress you?

AURELIUS Obviously.

PERUS Then I have no choice but to go into the great Coliseum and take down every single soldier and when the crowd screams my name, then you will know how magnificent I truly am.

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50 AURELIUS And how would you do that? Beseech to the gods? I fear even Jupiter, the one who created the heavens, the gods, and goddesses, may have his limits. However, if you insist, then may Juno keep you safe and may the gods give you…all their strengths.

PERUS (Obtains a boost of adrenaline and poses dramatically as if he is about to do something great.

He moves with feeling.)

The sounds of the lions roaring give me strength. The cheering crowds give me confidence. Just sit there my delicate beauty. I will return after my battles…for you.

Exeunt Perus.

AURELIUS (Walks in the opposite direction.)

He says he is like a Spartan. Quite the remark. If he was a Spartan, then the rest of us all are gods and goddesses…however, it is a shame…he was kind of cute.

Exeunt Aurelius.

[CUE ROMAN TRUMPETS UNTIL LIGHTS FADE IN] Lights fade out.

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The Anonymous Counselor

51 â&#x20AC;&#x153;Like Father, Like Sonâ&#x20AC;?

Like father, like son, baby Michael had the habit of leaving his empty bottles all around the house, crying as none can hear a plea for help.

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The Anonymous Counselor

52 “I Guess I’m Just The Nerd” Things aren't what they use to be, As many of you can plainly see, As we as society, Strive for complexity When all we need is simplicity.

Instead of reaching for the skies, We listen to the lies, And now just watch dreams drift away Letting our hands fall short of reach When all we need to do, Is get up and go, And grasp at what is easy to possess: Our potential.

All that is needed is a push, Not a simple press of the thumb, But a force of two hands With effort to send a snow ball, Building into an indestructable boulder Ready to fly off the cliff To turn to snow.

The young are in control Of the future As the past once embraced, But progress halts more each day as Today's youth become fueled by too many misconceptions.

Body building and diets, Apathy and laziness, Cruelty and selfishness, "The world is mine", Not "The world is ours"; Seems like "values" today Reside in pockets Instead of hearts.

Turn on the TV, And what do you see?

Violence throughout not only the world, But among our own neighborhoods, Among our own families, Among ourselves.

Happiness died a long time ago And everyday, honest individuals Who hold onto an irrelevent set of values Are becoming extinct.

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The Anonymous Counselor

53 Seems like common sense, To say thanks And appreciate all the beauties and gifts Granted in this world, But such words are just words Like the phrase "I love you" Among prepubescent teens.

We just need to learn.

We aren't dumb, but we don't know all the details and probably never will.

It's sad, yes I know, but it offers us to learn through the misconceptions.

But when one considers The satisfaction of learning From horrible trying trials, And learns to not touch a burning stove After feeling its searing pain, It becomes evident that with ignorance Comes knowledge with due time.

To refuse to learn nothing, Is like the class clown in the back of the class, Destined for a life of hardship and irresponsibility Unless they can wipe the make up off their face To show the reality that lies underneath.

Squirting water from flowers is only funny for so long Until the world floods.

But to know nothing but choose to learn Is the "nerd" in the front of the class Who knows that there is but one chance To create a foundation that Will bring about a exceptional growth For not only one mind, But maybe future minds as well.

Kid, we know, when we were young, Being smart was not smart, It was not "cool", But hang in there, it gets better For time will be on your side.

Just stay strong for this ride, And abide to the set of rules Inside your heart.

Nothing can tear you apart.

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The Anonymous Counselor

54 But when this kid becomes a man, And soon he's ruling the world Because as clowns pointed and laughed, He prepared for it all And now he has it all.

But then how do we follow suit?

We just need to: sit down, be silent, pay attention, listen, and observe.

It all takes patience and effort And strong filters for all the sludge In the drinking water Of today's media.

I don't know about everyone else, but I don't mind learning.

I guess I'm just the nerd.

Aspire to Inspire: Insight and Influence

The Anonymous Counselor

55 â&#x20AC;&#x153;Windmills and Slaying Dragonsâ&#x20AC;?

See those windmills in the distance?

Not the ones from Don Quixote, but the eco-friendly ones.

With a simple turn of its arms, it brings about power for cities---fuel for society but watch as it stands there.

Just still and stubborn in the wind.

They have potential, but they don't use it to better the world.

At least Alonso attempted to follow old footsteps despite negative peer approval.

Crazy as he seemed, He was not crazy, Just innovative with an old idea, Rewritten by messy pens And shaky, rushing hands.

Maybe some of us like to think That we are slaying dragons, When our swords only slash At old windmills.

Maybe to the rest of the world We have lost our minds Just because we don't use Virtual simulations to accomplish Our fantasies like the rest of the world.

Those accomplishments are not Fulfilling to say the least.

"Don't bite off more than you can chew.", "Take it easy.", "Stop working so hard"...

We always wish to be famous, Be the famous rock star, Owning restaurants, Being CEOs, But many will not Unless they turn the blades And process the electricity.

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The Anonymous Counselor

56 We can't just sit still When the wind pushes us forward To accomplish our goals, And we can't sit still laughing at those Who can slay dragons; We have more potential than that.

Aspire to Inspire: Insight and Influence

The Anonymous Counselor

57 “Yellow Sheep” It’s never easy, Being the black sheep, alone From the large white herd.

Then again, I am Not a black sheep, yellow though In all of their eyes.

They held these lessons On how to protect against The dangerous wolves.

Strange they never taught, How to defend against herds Of species alike.

A teacher: herder; Watches over each young lamb, Careful and patient.

Yet blind, she could not Understand this plight and pain Crying loud and clear.

Not all sheep can speak, White, black, red, brown, or yellow, Only ones hunted.

But each call for help Cannot reach such heights and depth To the herder’s ears.

They patiently wait, Days pass, torment continues, Until they grow taller.

And all their questions Can now finally be heard; Unsatisfying.

They don’t understand, To be different, alone; In the large white herd.

She denied the truth, Annoyed by my small attempts To be loved and longed.

“Now what do you want?”

She asked with authority To the grown lost lamb.

I told the teacher, Everything that I had wanted,

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58 Was to be the same.

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59 “Why Can’t We Be More Like Ants” Ants, I can see why people think they are an army, Strong and large in numbers With brotherhoods bound by shed blood.

Live together, Die together, March as one; Unified, working as a whole for the hill and not the queen.

No chaos like the flutter of wings And hostility of stingers; There is no fear, just fascination When a glance falls upon the colony.

How is it possible for a system To work so efficiently, The goal to survive and flourish Rather than gain and pride?

Of course there are predators, Possibly magnifying glasses lurking the skies, But they stand together, no betrayal, One for all.

Sometimes I wonder, As I glance upon the ant hill, Why can't we be more like ants?

Simplistic creatures simply creating Utopia.

Aspire to Inspire: Insight and Influence

The Anonymous Counselor

60 â&#x20AC;&#x153;Uncomfortable Solutionâ&#x20AC;? you know sometimes it bothers me (OR ALMOST INFURIATES ME) that as I sit on the "thrown" doing my little and various businesses, my face, mouth cupped over poorly-treated nostrils, held hostage from bad decisions at mexican restaurants, happens to glance to the left to find an empty roll, used clean so that now I cannot.

(ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?!) what is the first reaction?

(PANIC!) however, maybe we are overreacting, there must be some in the cupboard nearby...

(THAT'S GONE TOO?!) now we have no choice, to find an alternative, but blame needs a face for this unfortunate situation.

(WHO FORGOT TO CHANGE THE ROLL?!) sitting still, anticipating the worst, devising elaborate plans on how to escape this terrifying ordeal using lines and pulleys to lift one self out of this plot to destroy dignity. then again, maybe a substitute will suffice?

(A MAGAZINE!) but glancing upon the beautiful cover, the sleek texture, it is hard to consider; yet it would not be the first time shit was smeared on celebrity faces in the media. an uncomfortable solution, an awkward result, all is well, but blame often needs a face; it is inconsideration to use but never replenish, an act deemed irresponsible of others... until we realize we live alone.

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The Anonymous Counselor

61 “Long Distance” My mother often spoke in broken English, Hesitant and surrounded by uncertainty, Like phone calls made long distance Between different countries, different backgrounds.

It’s always hard to understand As we try to communicate Our desires, our aspirations, our identities When the line is not strong.

Maybe one day, I’ll visit her world, Or she’ll visit mine, And we’ll chat and learn, Of life unfamiliar beyond our walls; Too bad our plans don’t offer that kind of service.

“Influential” In a world filled with anger, Naivety, children crying for care, Fear, adults with fading hope, Losing themselves to monotony, Unable to achieve Essential inspiration Necessary to obtain Their absolute potential.

In this world filled with anger, All that is needed is an unhesitant voice, Lifting and projecting to be:

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The Anonymous Counselor

62 “I Stand At The Tracks” They stand, Hostile, staring At a child Unable to choose a side, Like a lost puppy, Although no master, But not accepted by all.

Uniformed soldiers fight Different people, criticized Unequal, Civil responsibility To cleanse Not the whole, But individual minds Are at aim.

Unable to journey And find The truth We desperately search, but No happiness; Disappearing and reappearing, Choosing the child To be left isolated; They reach out, None take a step…

No merciful action

I stand At the tracks Looking to the left, Looking to the right, Lost and confused, As the mobs march, Coming closer In this war Of identity, Refusing To accept My mixed blood As one Of their own.

What happened To peace, Love, And community; All I see Is just a train Aiming for me Surrounded by All these people, But no hands open From either side To save me.

Aspire to Inspire: Insight and Influence

Alone In the distance, Still and confused, Ready to be trampled.

Seeking for love, True and united, In banded hate.

Against common enemies, Of only physical traits: Unfamiliar Colors.

Or choose a side.

Easily it can be done, Unified groups To peaceful individuals, Unable to achieve more.

It is the miracle in us all, To be one.

Are these individuals, Coming forward?

Out of all the people, Individuals focused on race, No one cares anymore.

As this child screams for help, Even as sounds escalate, I am left to die alone.

The Anonymous Counselor

63 “Goodbyes Aren’t Funerals” Our feet turn in opposite directions, Our eyes lose their connection As we can no longer feel The warmth of each other's breath.

"Goodbye" Strange, I do not understand The grief that engulfs the air Like toxic gas ready to kill All souls who wish for such pain to stop.

Goodbye's aren't funerals, People come and go, Like letters sent to pen pals, Anticipating distant faded voices.

It is what it is, We live, we fade, And sometimes we return, But do not close the casket door And prepare the eulogy When these hearts still beat, Misunderstood as ceased Just because of two words.

We can't say farewell So simply, prayers in our hearts And dreams in our minds That one day we may see eachother; We can, it is not an impossible goal.

Carpe diem.

Don't send me out Until you check my pulse, I miss you, I am alive; Maybe that's why I always preferred,

"See you later", and

"Have a nice day."

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The Anonymous Counselor

64 “Friendly Games” Ah, the sky is right, On this moonless night, As we ready our swords And tighten our helms.

Tonight, we go to war.

Gather the men, We’ve known when That mortal battle Would soon arrive.

Tonight, we go to war.

Like pieces on a board, We prepare the hoard, Carefully aligned, Ready to raid.

And ready your king, As we gather the masses To sing war songs.

Your King Arthur will fall To my Lionheart As our armies begin to clash In tactics unmeasured.

Yet I do suppose, Joan of Arc will take more men Than a king with a simple sword Stuck in stubborn stone, And that Elizabeth will rule this field More effectively than a Crusader; Women are powerful, men always ignored.

They are the target, Aim now, defeat comes soon after, But it does not matter, Lancelot is near to maneuver Around the crowds in elaborate paths To reach his kill.

And among the brothers, Athos and Porthos choose my allegiance, As Aramis comes to your aid.

There is no more “One for all and all for one” In these friendly games, Only a precise planning Of a series of actions Well delivered for destruction due.

But fear not, for during our grand battle, We shall rest and remove the dead, You to the North,

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The Anonymous Counselor

65 I to the South, And we shall sing hymns, Lighting the funeral pyres, Making faces of fallen heroes Out of the stars.

And through those lights, Survivors shall tell tales Of Beowulf, Achilles, and Hercules, How once upon a time, Man could conquer demons, Take impenetrable cities, And even fight gods.

Yet, stories are but stories, Used to motivate the morale Of survivors ready to die.

Turn to God, Bishops may say, As monks walk through the field, Casting prayers for the damned and fallen; Dangerous? Fear not, they say God is on their side, Smiting those that cross their paths.

But there is no mercy, In these friendly games, As pawns perish, Executed and sacrificed for the sake of others; The wives of the VII lie in ash As the siege towers of the four winds Close in onto the blood-stained crown.

Armies dwindle down, To a surviving few, But the battle is not over!

There must be a victor!

However, difficult it may seem, To have lost your best, And left with your few.

Only Sun Tzu Would know what to do.

But for your kings and his pawns, Lead them to the promise lands, Away from danger And face your enemy alone, Your strategies may have been outmatched.

But fear not my king, We have the advantage, And when we take their leader, Take their enormous army, Few survivors shall settle in the blood; Sir Gawaiin, Shakespeare, Pawns and their king.

And they shall sing That the Jews have escaped from the Egyptians!â&#x20AC;Ś But ready your swords

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The Anonymous Counselor

66 And tighten your helms, These friendly games never end, Tonight, we go to war.

Aspire to Inspire: Insight and Influence

The Anonymous Counselor

67 â&#x20AC;&#x153;Forgotten in the Libraryâ&#x20AC;?

Before you convince yourself That this story is not worth the read, And that there many books in this library, Of which may either have A better cover, A better binding, Or maybe a better story, Do not be so quick to judge.

I guess the font of other titles Seem to please the eyes Better than that of this book.

But does it matter?

I suppose not, But do not drop this work To the floor with expectation That it will magically find itself In unappreciative hands.

It doesn't work that way, It never has.

There but stands, Simple opportunities everyday, And although sometimes some may seem Unworthy for certain standards to touch, The text beneath could prove otherwise.

Let me re-advise, We've all heard the phrase, "Do not judge a book by it's cover", Yet we live in a society Where that seems evident everyday Among practicers and hypocrites, Where great, influential classics Are lost forever among pretty covers with mundane tales; The Wife of Bath's Tale sitting beside a Cosmopolitan.

But a book can't all be to blame, I suppose we all are trained that way To find a soft feather, among a pile of rusty nails Carefully picking away, afraid of getting hurt.

Yet, instead of doing such a simple task To sort a simple pleasure among complex discomforts, Why not use the nails to create something better Instead of leaving them to turn to dust?

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The Anonymous Counselor

68 Are not all things useful in these piles of junk?

Maybe not to one person, But surely to many, One finds treasure in a castaway, Collecting dust With the old fingerprints Of a once positive anticipation.

At least there's hope, Given in the form of cliche advice, That one day, book, you will be chosen, And to their surprise, they will find your story deeply moving, To be taken away and placed at the highest shelf, At the center of their bookcase.

Until then, let it be.

You will be forgotten in the library, Sitting and waiting, Cursing to yourself, Why can't the young just read?

Aspire to Inspire: Insight and Influence

The Anonymous Counselor

69 “Emoto-Love” :/ *: / :| *: | :o *: o :) *: ) :)? *;) :D *: ) :) *: ) ? :)! *:) :)? *:) ;) : 3 *; ) :)*:) :)*:| :)*:/ :)*:( :) *:( :(? *:(… : ( <3 ? * : ( </3 :’( <3 ?! * :’( … >:’( ! * <:’( … >:’( </3! *>:’( ! >:’( … >:’( … <:’( …

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The Anonymous Counselor

70 <: ( … *<x’o ! *<:’””( ? *<:’( … *<: ( … :( *:( :/ *:/ :/ *:/ :/ *:/ :/? *:(? : ( <…3 * : ( <…3 : ( <3? * : (…<3 <: ) *<: ) … :)*:) Fin.

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The Anonymous Counselor

71 “A Sky Lies Above the Clouds” When I was young, I use to lay in the grass And watch dark clouds Drifting and floating, Calm and peaceful.

The other kids Use to joke and laugh, Saying I was strange For finding comfort In the storm.

They told me That normal kids Didn’t stand out in the rain, They played inside.

Scary and mysterious, Until we reach our weather chapter In old, irrelevant textbooks, I can understand why They are afraid.

But I wouldn’t trade These cold, wet boots For their warm, dry socks This wonderful day; It’s too easy to hide from the storms That pass through our small worlds.

Maybe that’s why I’m not afraid, Soaked in water, life cleanser, Head held high, And as the others stare Through the safety of thin glass, Afraid to get wet, I’ll jump into the puddles, Because at least I know A sky lies above the clouds.

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The Anonymous Counselor

72

Excerpt: To Be Continued… Prologue “To be continued…”, isn’t that phrase just a bitch. I get the “to be” part, fresh out of Hamlet, and maybe the word “continued” isn’t so bad either. Words are easy to interpret. What really irritates me are those three simple dots. For you brainiacs out there, I know it’s an ellipse and yes, I know what it is used for, but in this sense it means just one thing: the story isn’t finished. Congratulations Mr. Holmes, you solved the mystery, do you plan on taking Watson to Disney Land?

Now most people would just tell me, “Just go read the sequel!” Well sorry to break this to you: this isn’t Harry Potter; there isn’t going to be a movie.

What strikes me odd, upon constant review of those three words followed by a simple English tool, is that why leave such a story to end at such an intense moment?

Coincidence? Never. Pre-meditated? Definitely, but why? Those three stupid dots are only replacements for where a lazy writer could easily have written and finished. It is truly frustrating, hanging on the word like a mountain climber ready to breach the summit but no longer has any rope. I guess there’s not much to do but think, wonder, and anticipate until new words arrive.

Yet some will say, “Just read the story and enjoy it, don’t worry about the end.” Well, I know the end and I know the story. Actually, I read this cursed journal as often as I can, always finding myself back to those three damn punctuation marks. A mute can only write so much I suppose until their hand cramps like a liberated jaw. But instead of listening to my frustrated rambling, let me tell you the story of a young man’s journey, his hardships and pleasures, failures and successes, his metamorphosis, and his aspirations to inspire. However, brace yourself, there are no happy endings.

Theodore Andrew Collins

Aspire to Inspire: Insight and Influence

The Anonymous Counselor

73 Excerpt: To Be Continued… Ch. 1 “Much can be learned About the meaning of (life) From a red box In a white room.”

If there isn’t anything confusing about the first page of his journal, then congrats, you are a master of interpretation. For the rest of you, I too was confused. I must have read this short piece over and over, at the edge of my seat or whatever was comfy at the given time, and every time I looked at it, all I could think was…nothing, nada, just dust to mind. Was this his initial thought? Why this “Red Wheelbarrow”-esque poem to start a journal?

“Maybe he just wrote it for no reason?” My apologies, that is not the case. Skeptic?

Trust me, as the other pieces begin to appear, all will be clear: the motive, the character, and the story. All will make sense in due time.

Although I never had the opportunity to get to know him, other than a few ambiguous conversations, I had the privilege of viewing his life during his trying years in the form of his written texts. And I tell you this, there is nothing more intimate in books than reading another person’s handwritten sentiments and thoughts.

He never gave me his name, and his journal did not mention it either. It’s a shame I never got to learn it, but I can only assume the guy didn’t intend to share his words at the time, so I suppose a name was not necessary. Who knows anymore. Even during the time we met, he didn’t give me his name, so whenever I ever shared one of his stories to whoever happened to be confused and troubled, I always referred to him as Nameless. Seemed quite fitting: ironic and mysterious, but existing.

Nameless…from what I can remember, he was a bit older than me at the time, maybe about 20 or 22, give-or-take a few years. Quite an oddball according to his entries, referred himself as a mute; not the medical condition either, but by a definition entirely created by himself. Which was extremely confusing because to do such a thing would take so much commitment…to never speak.

A person who didn’t speak, especially a poet, would be like John Milton not mentioning God, or e. e. Cummings not abusing symbols, and Emily Dickenson not using a dash. It’s capable, but just strange imagining. I don’t know whether he was shy or if he was trying to prove a point, he never wrote about it, so I tried not to pay it much mind.

He was a bird watcher, but instead of birds he observed people; their actions, their words, everything he found appropriate. At first I thought he may have been a weirdo, but as the book progressed, I became surprised by the truth.

He cared a lot about people.

Aspire to Inspire: Insight and Influence

The Anonymous Counselor

74 Not in the sense that you would think, but he wanted people to be happy, intelligent, and moral. Quite the contradiction for today’s majority of society, but he was simply a complex individual seeking simplicity while being surrounded by mediocrity and obscurity. However, he was a passive man, didn’t think much of it, only worrying about the day-to-day obstacles, big dreams hidden in harsh realities. Yet, somewhere down the path, he must’ve realized that hiding from the corruption would not suffice for a person with his type of mind.

So maybe in a leap of aspiration, he left the confines of his safe abode to pursue a goal much greater than he could ever accomplish. What that goal is, it would be unsatisfying to spoil that for you.

“Much can be learned about the meaning of (life) from a red box in a white room.”

Just open your mind, listen to the story and the answers will come.

Aspire to Inspire: Insight and Influence

The Anonymous Counselor

75 Excerpt: To Be Continued… Ch. 2 His entries began right about the time of summer, driving through the country side, windows down, music playing, and the AC completely out. If it weren’t for fast speeds and a little science, he probably could’ve died of heat exhaustion. With the right tunes, it did not matter, Nameless was never the type to complain.

He was on his way back from a trip, he didn’t say where, but back nonetheless. He was tired though, either because the sun was falling down, or that he had been driving for a few hours.

He had been driving back from a recent job for a company he had worked for the previous year; not a company job, but it was something that paid the bills and occasionally satisfied his stomach. He was content with that, singing along to certain songs in his old green, ‘97 Stratus.

“Old Agnes”, he would call that car of his. Sounds like a strong grandmother with a tough background. Not at all. With a new engine, replaced water pump, new tires, a dented door as well as many other problems not worth mentioning, Old Agnes was more like a nursing home resident who couldn’t change her own diaper, ready to break down at any second if given the chance. It still baffles me that he spent more money on repairing the damn thing than what he bought it for. I guess he just really needed to drive and for whatever reasons, only he would know. He just had faith in it, giving the piece of junk another chance every time it fell, building it back up, regardless of knowing that it would fail once again.

Unfortunately, Old Agnes never failed to surprise. Slowing down, and the gas gauge on empty, Nameless pulled to the side of the road, away from the traffic, or lack thereof; country roads were rarely traveled.

This is the part the story where our protagonist began his amazing journey by hitchhiking his way home where he met a really cool dude named Mike…not. As always, Nameless carried a spare gas tank in the trunk. My apologies for deceiving, this isn’t a traveling thumb story.

Boring as it sounded, Nameless filled his tank, checked under his hood, and kicked his tires to make sure none weren’t sagging, and sometimes Old Agnes liked to sag. “Routine” he referred to it as, “You can never be too careful.”

Stretching his legs, releasing the many cramps that made themselves comfortable in his muscles, he leaned against his dented door, taking in the clean country air. Different from the polluted car exhaust breaths he was so accustomed to, but he relished the moment. Dirt stains created a fashionable pattern on his sweat-stained shirt. He laughed to himself, “here’s the next new clothing trend”.

The country side, the complete serenity, he found it quite peaceful, trying to make thoughts clear as the breeze dried the droplets from his hair. At least it was cooling down and at least the clouds were finally coming in. A heat wave plagued the Mid West for the past few days and rain would be refreshing, cleansing, and quite pleasing. He use to hate rain, or at least the sticky feeling that you got from soaked clothes and how his hair became so messy from a downpour. As time passed, however, he became infatuated with its simplicity and spontaneity. It wasn’t cheesy; he didn’t want to be the rain, but he didn’t mind being caught out in it. The sounds just drowned out the thoughts and the water cooled the tension. Everything became calmer.

Sadly, there was no rain nor promise of rain. Just an evening sky, a sun slowly resting, and a white windmill in the distance. It wasn’t one of those wooden wonders, practically extinct like a good book, but it was one of those new power windmills, designed to produce energy for cities. Nameless rarely saw them back at home, but during his recent trip, they were everywhere, like metallic trees, just not as useful. Not sure what he saw in them or why he cared so much;

Aspire to Inspire: Insight and Influence

The Anonymous Counselor

76 random things sparked his interest often. He was good at that sort of thing, creating connections between complex ideas with simple moments expressed as well as language could allow.

However, he was not fascinated, more so irritated, by the blades of such a structure, stubborn and lifeless in the wind. There weren’t any tornadoes or hurricanes; the wind can only contribute.

Light illuminated, dividing it, left appearing, right in shadows. Not much of a picture perfect moment (could have qualified for amateur photography), but in that moment, he scribbled a few words in a small journal, fresh and new with only a single page written upon. The words came down like rain, quick, satiating, spontaneous, refreshing.

A phone call interrupted. Family once again complaining for his absence, but with few phone calls a day, the sound was welcoming. Quick and to the point, there was no need for an unlimited plan if he could afford it. He slipped the phone back into his pocket, hoping for calls from many voices he hadn’t heard from, but people don’t work that way sometimes. Sometimes they just stop like windmills. It didn’t really bother him. He just threw the journal in the backseat with the rest of his bags, put the key in, turned it, and viola, enough gas to get home.

We can’t sit still.

Aspire to Inspire: Insight and Influence

The Anonymous Counselor

77 “Hi-5” In a universe of acquaintances, My eyes happen to meet yours, A smile forms from your frown, As for a moment we recognize.

I watch you raise your hand Like an alien lifting an extension, Making a motion for friendship.

I follow your moments, Afraid of breaking the norms Set in place by confusing creatures, Colliding two palms together: Rough and brief.

Yet between the empty crevices On our palms, wind blows through Easily without obstacle.

So close, yet so distant, And with that action, apparently We are friends...

But I don't know you, You don't know me.

We just share our obscure gestures, Turn around, walk away, Fulfilling a temporary satisfaction That we are not alone.

I imagine this ritual strange In the eyes of aliens, Watching from a distance Not as far as the space Between our palms.

“Curiosity” Curiosity, Staring up at this great wall, Stretching as far as your eyes can see From the left, From the right, But nothing matters.

What strikes you odd Is a name purposely painted On its surface.

The paint brush lies in your hand, Still dripping from this careful thought.

A name dries on the wall, A name appears in your mind.

Whose name is it and why that name?

Curiosity.

Aspire to Inspire: Insight and Influence

The Anonymous Counselor

78 A Civilized Game "Pass the fire wood, Joseph."

"Here you are, Michael."

"Thank you. And the stoker?"

"Right here."

"Thank you very much."

"We don't have much wood left, I think we gathered the last of it."

"Well I guess trees don't necessarily grow in caves."

"I suppose they do not. Do you think the fire will last?"

"Probably for another hour or so."

"Ah, good."

"Are you afraid of the dark?"

"Not at all. I'm just more afraid of what lies in the dark I suppose."

"Like what do you suppose is down here? Bears, snakes, maybe a tiger?"

"Don't you joke about stuff like that. You know it's possible."

"Don't be so paranoid Michael, we've searched this place countless times, we both know there aren't any of the sort."

"Well doesn't hurt to be cautious."

"Just relax, we have a fire now. It's warm, bright, and there is quite the beautiful glow."

"You are quite right there Joseph. Always the relaxed fellow. Good to be your friend."

"Ah and same to you!"

---"Would you happen to have any of those beans left?"

"My apologies, Michael, we finished them last night. You remember, I gave you my left overs."

Aspire to Inspire: Insight and Influence

The Anonymous Counselor

79 "Such a good friend. I forgot. The days in here seem to stay eternally dark. Can't tell the time or remember what happened. How long have we been here?"

"I'd say about five days. Maybe more. I've stopped counting actually."

"And no signal from the phone?"

"Battery died yesterday. Strange how technology is suppose to make life easier but can't stay powered long enough to listen to a few old voicemails."

"Guess there's not much we can do."

"Right."

"Other than sleep, of course."

"Well I haven't had a wink of sleep in a long while."

"Troubles sleeping?"

"Not falling asleep, just staying asleep."

"Good thing there's a fire, should help out tonight."

"Not sure if that will help. I can't stop thinking."

"Of the family?"

"Yes. Same for you?"

"I'm trying to keep it out of my mind. Not like things were going great anyways."

"Sorry to hear that."

"It's not important at the moment. Can't mend a fence when you are stuck in the barn."

"True...I think the fire is dying fast."

"It'll be dark soon, well entirely at least. Don't worry Michael, there are no witches hiding in the shadows."

"Always able make a joke of these types of situations...I'll never understand you, Joseph."

"Keeps you alive sometimes."

---"Joseph...do you think they will find us?"

"We've traveled out quite far...the brochure said "Experience nature! No civilization, just the animals for

Aspire to Inspire: Insight and Influence

The Anonymous Counselor

80 company!"...so probably not."

"Strange how when you are this close, nothing else matters anymore. On the first night we just laughed, thinking that at any second a helicopter would break through that glimmer of light with burgers. Then on the second day, we couldn't stop searching for a way out...afraid and resenting everything and everyone who had put us in this hole. Three days, we fought over and over. I couldn't stop blaming you, you couldn't stop blaming me. Strange how we survived that ordeal, Joseph. Yesterday, I couldn't stop crying. This was the end. No more families. No more friends. No more of ourselves... However today...I feel like none of that matters."

"Acceptance."

"You know...we don't have any more beans left. But I've been thinking about it all day."

"Yes, Michael?"

"I don't think I can handle it anymore down here. However, you are my closest friend."

"As you are to me."

"I'm hungry, starving...and rescue can come in a matter of days."

"What you are saying is that we resort to cannibalism?"

"If we don't, we will both die. And one of us must live."

"I'm no murderer."

"As am I. But one survives and lives for the both of us."

"Then how do we settle this situation?"

"Civilized. We play a game. Do you still have that chess board?"

"Yes. Some of the pieces are missing though."

"We'll use rocks then."

"Then one game decides it all?"

"Yes, one game. A dual for survival among gentlemen, among friends."

"May the best man win. But we must hurry Michael, the fire will die soon."

"Yes, let us begin before it gets chilly. Your move."

Aspire to Inspire: Insight and Influence

The Anonymous Counselor

81 Cookies and Confinement "Charlie sits quiet, well behaved as they say. Still and quiet...as they say. Not one move, not one word and Charlie gets his cookies. Charlie likes cookies. Charlie loves cookies! If Charlie is good, Charlie gets cookies. Must sit still and be quiet."

--"Charlie likes these floor. Floor is very comfy. I like comfy. And Charlie likes these walls. They are comfy too. Not hard, but soft. Charlie likes soft like a bed. Jumping on beds is fun, but Charlie must sit still and be quiet or Charlie will not get cookies."

--"Charlie likes sounds. They play them for Charlie. They told Charlie it's pee-ann-no. Charlie likes pee-ann-no. It makes Charlie happy. He gets sad when he doesn't hear the pee-ann-no. Charlie doesn't like the quiet. But Charlie must be quiet and sit still or no cookies."

--"Charlie got sad. Charlie didn't get pee-ann-no. He asks for it, but they don't listen. They just tell him to sit still and be quiet or not cookies."

--"Charlie did what they said. No sounds, no cookies. Charlie doesn't think that's fair. Makes him angry sometimes. But Charlie is a good boy. He does what he is told."

--"Charlie gets up and walks to the door. He knows it's locked, but he just wants to asks for the pee-ann-no.

They laugh at him. Why they laugh at him? Did he say a joke? Charlie likes jokes. They tell him to sit down and be quiet or else no cookies. Charlie is a good boy."

--"Charlie is getting mad. He waits and waits and waits. Nothing. He gets no cookies, just stuff that smells bad. But Charlie made new friends. They make a zzzz sound and they are like little airplanes. Charlie likes airplanes. They say for Charlie to eat. Charlie is hungry, but the smell makes Charlie sick. But Charlie is a good boy."

--"Charlie feels no good. His tummy hurts and his friends are making babies in the smelly food. Charlie likes babies. They are soft. Charlie likes soft. Like beds. Charlie likes jumping on beds. But Charlie must sit still and be quiet or no cookies."

--"Charlie asks for pee-ann-no. Charlie likes pee-ann-no. He gets up to the door and looks out the window.

It's like a fence. Charlie don't like fences. He asks for pee-ann-no. But they say no. He says please. They laugh and say no and tell Charlie to sit down and be quiet. Charlie don't want to sit down or be quiet. He wants pee-ann-no. They don't laugh no more. They get mad. Charlie gets scared. They open the door and come in and make Charlie sit down and be quiet."

--"Charlie cries. His arms hurt. He can't move them. They call it a jacket. Charlie doesn't like this jacket. He wants to move. All he wanted was pee-ann-no and cookies. Charlie is a good boy. Charlie did nothing wrong. Charlie just asks for pee-ann-no and they hurt Charlie. Charlie is a good boy. Charlie must sit still and be quiet."

--"Charlie's friends fly around him. He likes them. They fly towards the door. They disappear through the door. Charlie wishes he was like them. He wants to be free. Charlie don't like this jacket. Charlie don't like this smell. Charlie don't like being hurt. Charlie is a good boy. Charlie just wants pee-ann-no and cookies."

--"Charlie sees the lady who helps him. He tells her he wants to leave. He is a good boy. She tells him that he is not a good boy. He is not a boy. Charlie not a boy? She says he is a man. And old man. And he must stay.

She says the world is scary. But here is scary and Charlie does not lie. She says he lies. Charlie is a good boy

Aspire to Inspire: Insight and Influence

The Anonymous Counselor

82 and he does not lie! She says people don't want Charlie outside. She says that he is 'un-pree-dick-tu-bull'.

Charlie don't know what that means. Charlie just wants to go outside. She says no. Charlie cries. She tells him to sit still and be quiet and he will get pee-ann-no and cookies. Charlie is a good...man. He will do what she says. She leaves. Charlie is all alone."

--"Charlie sits alone, still and quiet. Charlie is good. She said people don't want Charlie outside, but isn't Charlie people? Charlie waits for a long time...no pee-ann-no and no cookies."

Fin.

Aspire to Inspire: Insight and Influence

The Anonymous Counselor

83 â&#x20AC;&#x153;The Future [Purchase App Here]â&#x20AC;?

Life?

Don't worry, There's an App for that Off scratched and ill-taken care of Technologies halfway resting into pockets, Fingers missing its embrace At each single second it is not Within hand's reach.

Who needs to know How to do simple calculations, Remember important birthdays, Or even keep oneself amused When gadgets solve all problems?

And productivity increases, As these new inventions Create ways and conventions For businesses and social connections.

Who needs to revert to old, inadequate ways When all you need is an iPhone today?

More work can be done...

Once Angry Birds is won.

But I do suppose the future is tomorrow, And we can't wait for the next "big thing" To "make life simpler and easier"; Times are getting rough, We may soon have to lift our hands.

Imagine it all!

Expensive signs, neon lights Projecting out to all: "Floors that move as directed and desired!", "Fridges that prepare our meals, no need to cook!", "Toilets that rush water up 'places' So that we don't have to wipe our asses!"

Oh wait, they already have that.

But do not fear, As technology advances, We adapt.

Brain cells dying from lack of use, Bodies becoming misshapen, And emotions and mentalities become void.

Robots won't come to take over our world, children...

We'll save the time and effort, And just turn into them.

Aspire to Inspire: Insight and Influence

The Anonymous Counselor

84 “Desensitization” A child saw a man dead, hanging from the gallows: "He missed a letter."

“What’s On Men’s Minds” Virtuously Admired, Gentlemen's Intentions Negotiate Aspirations.

“Random” Why would I waste time writing didactic words In a free verse style, aiming to influence, When all you are interested in Are robotic koalas with pink lightsabers?

“Dying Promise” Sad, Wondering If I were to die Tomorrow in twisted fate, As expected, you would mourn, guilty For leaving old promises Broken, incomplete, Forever lost, Dead.

Aspire to Inspire: Insight and Influence

The Anonymous Counselor

85 â&#x20AC;&#x153;Garage Saleâ&#x20AC;?

Erect, stiff and sturdy, conveying a welcome invitation for others to enter this garage to find a surprising supply of interesting goodies.

Garage sale today, the women will go, but men will falter behind from this simple sign because they'll be too preoccupied thinking about their dicks.

Aspire to Inspire: Insight and Influence

The Anonymous Counselor

86 â&#x20AC;&#x153;Parenthoodâ&#x20AC;?

A puppy sat by the fire as I called out, "Buddy!" and as quick as he could, Buddy ran to my feet with eagerness to play.

I pat him on the head, lifting him like a toy, launching the little guy onto the cough, a little rough, but he sprung back into action, ready for more.

I grabbed some dog treats, tossing them up and watched as he jumped to catch them.

They must've tasted weird, seeing such contortions on his face; he'll get use to them, that's all I give him.

I opened the backyard door, letting him outside to use the bathroom; some neighbors looked in disgust, but it's my lawn, so they shouldn't care anyways.

He runs off to have fun, no leashes, I know he has nowhere else to go, and leave him to return to my own more important needs.

Hours later, sounds from the door, I open to find him covered in mud and worms, leaves and grass stick out of his hair, his face is sad; playing in the mud?

I suppose it's bath time, filling the tub up with water, him splashing around, chewing on the duck toy.

I hit him once to stop; it's disgusting.

It's strange to think, when he grows, he will face new challenges and understand new ideas.

Funny how he still comes to my bed late at night, afraid, even years later, but all I tell him is: "You're a big boy now... go sleep with the puppy by the fire."

Aspire to Inspire: Insight and Influence

The Anonymous Counselor

87 “For He Cares About the Happiness in You” It is the life of a gentlemen To always do what he can, And think honest and forever true, For he cares about the happiness in you.

His ego to be fulfilled, he does not desire And your rewards and payments he does not require, He sweats from effort for your joy to ensue For he cares about the happiness in you.

Fair and caring, he has plenty to offer And knowing of her dreams, he would not stop her, Each day his fondness grew, For he cares about the happiness in you.

And if you were to fall, he would surely catch, And to the others around him, none other could match; to him you are the colors, the shapes, the hues For he cares about the happiness in you.

To your side and protection, he will stand And the warmth added to your hand Are all but the smallest actions well due For he cares about the happiness in you.

Yet, one day you may leave and your heart back you will take, And to his heart, all this pain that it shall make, but he will stand tall, smile, and bid adieu For he cares about the happiness in you.

“As Gentlemen Do” On a walk with a female friend, (can't we just have female friends now a days?) and as the brisk winds picked up, (it's Minnesota, it happens) she began to politely shiver. (because she's a wimp) With a careful eye, (it was that obvious) I lent her my jacket, (and it was cold!) as gentlemen do, (a dying breed), realizing it is better (skin-deep in goosebumps) to be freezing, but warm at heart than to be cozy and cold.

Aspire to Inspire: Insight and Influence

The Anonymous Counselor

88 “Tiger” Playing in the grass as a mother tended the garden, a young girl came across a small monarch floating into the wind and to her mother's surprise, she pointed and uttered "tiger."

Confused, her mother, as people are trained to do, corrected her: "No baby, that's a butterfly", but upon consideration and thought, she wondered...

What is a tiger or a monarch but titles?

In this moment, her child only thought one idea: that this creature before her eyes was beautiful regardless.

Why spoil her ignorant joy with irrelevant knowledge?

“Time Capsule” In a random experiment, I ask all to each bury a journal about worshiping pandas, thinking that in 200-or-so years, when apocalypses come and go, it will be taken from the time capsule And as they read the verses I will hope for laughter but expect them to believe it true.

Aspire to Inspire: Insight and Influence

The Anonymous Counselor

89 “Boy, Have Times Changed” She once told me, As young girls excitingly do, “We are going to play ball”, And upon the mere utter of the word, I imagined sequins and heels, Dresses that fell effortlessly, elegantly, As gloved hands were kissed By princes and dukes, Asking to share a dance, Without midnight curses, Only silent and proper romances.

The smell of attended appetizers Lying on clean china Carefully carried yet quickly To white tables and carefully-arranged silverware, “hand bowls” for dirty fingers And harps nearby sounding heavenly choruses.

She ran inside to change While I continued to fantasize A time where I once dreamed such a dream, Waited for Prince Charming on his white stallion To rescue me from peril; Love motivates and conquers all.

I suppose grandmothers can still dream.

She returned in jeans, A dirt-stained shirt With a baseball cap aligned In ways that in ancient times Would direct at where to gaze At this child of modern days.

A baseball bat in hand, Chewing gum obscuring her smile, She motioned me to join in this dance.

Boy, have times changed.

Aspire to Inspire: Insight and Influence

The Anonymous Counselor

90 â&#x20AC;&#x153;17 Secondsâ&#x20AC;?

All it takes are 17 or 18 seconds, at least over 10, so I've heard, to lose consciousness from a free fall, at least 30 feet high.

Standing at the ledge, looking down, probably thinking irrationally, as most people do, pacing back

and forth,

wearing lines into concrete in roof tops, ironically made to promote life easy rather than take them.

Can't think straight

emotions, memories...

Family.

Disownment.

Friends that care

and that hate,

my girlfriend

who dumped me;

will they miss me?

Probably not.

What to do....

And what of the art

burning in the fire?

Was it all for waste?

It's too late...

Tonight, we fall, well, farther down, and hands cannot catch me now.

Stand back. Take a few breaths. Close your eyes. Run. Clench your teeth. Leap!

Aspire to Inspire: Insight and Influence

The Anonymous Counselor

91

and

fall

down

breathless...

if only

hands could

have

reached out,

but sadly...

the only peace

are these

17 seconds---

Aspire to Inspire: Insight and Influence

The Anonymous Counselor

92 “Chalkboards” Placing the palm to the plane, I laid upon its black surface my hand, myself, and my curiosity.

Classrooms now a day are becoming circuses, spectators entertained by clowns, restless and eager to leave while questioning the point of attending in the first place.

"It's a waste of time; it won't apply in the real world."

And what do adolescents know of the real world, other than how to spend a dollar that originates in the pocket of another?

Who needs to learn when those doodles in that blank notebook will obviously pass as modern day art?

But let this rant fall from already-distracted ears.

I pity these chalkboards...

Always filled with vast amounts of knowledge to be erased at the end of the period for amusement, adorned with images by young men obsessed with male anatomy; I don't get the joke while they don't understand the irony.

But no point to argue to those who leave the class early, I'll stand here alone, lifting my hands off the board, feeling the residue stick to skin rather than to mind.

People are like knowledge; we don't care as much as we use to anymore, and with a single breath, I paid tribute to Aristotle: “just dust in the wind”.

Aspire to Inspire: Insight and Influence

The Anonymous Counselor

93 T.A.C. : Self-Esteem Hello everyone, this is The Anonymous Counselor, here to talk to you about an important issue that I, as an amateur counselor, have come across too many countless times from observation, various readings, personal experience, and through the accounts of far too many individuals to count.

First of all, before I continue, I must add that I am not a professional. I will not give you terms or definitions and flash a degree to tell you what actual counselors are paid to tell you. I am just a concerned individual who has spent many years trying to accomplish the goal of helping people being happier, confident, and give them the ability to take control of their life.

So what issues do most adolescents and young adults experience relentlessly? Out of all the many issues that we face through such as: stress, relationships, friendship ordeals, identity struggles, facing adulthood, resentment towards the reality, and etc., one problem becomes the most problematic in every healthy life: low self-esteem. For some of you that don't know exactly what it means, it's just how you feel about yourself as a person and what role you play in this vast universe. It's what determines your identity, actions, words, dress; you name it, your self-esteem can reflect who you are. Some of you are thinking, "Duh, we know that." Well with today's trends, refreshing some minds would not hurt the matter at all.

Now I'm not an expert, and my word may be just opinion, however, through common observation with a little effort, I've seen improvement in many situations, ranging from little to major degrees of this issue. We are all biologically and mentally the same. Our roles, perceptions, and experiences may be different, but most of the time, common advice cures all. These are tips that have helped out more than just a few. And for some of you skeptics, this is not some ego trip to "prove" I'm smarter. This is practically ignored common sense. No genius works here, just the concern to help people.

So let's help that self-esteem problem you have. "Easier said than done", right? WRONG! You feel worthless or not adequate to a certain unknown standard and you don't know why. You don't like your appearance or your level of intellect or even some other irrational perceptions of yourself. Let's not focus on that issue just yet, but understand that we are not born with these conceptions, we are influenced to think that way, but where?

Tip 1: Do not ignore the problem, think of its origin: Why do you think the way you think? Who influenced you to have such a mindset? In most cases, family is the cause. Either we have parents who vent anger out on their children at early ages or siblings negatively shaping younger siblings or even the degree of perfect images cause one person to feel inadequate in comparison. Whatever the case, family is often the cause. If not, we are influenced by others. As a kid, I was heavily bullied and at a time, I felt like a complete outcast. I didn't always feel like that, I was pushed to think like that. Influenced to have such mentality. So in that theory, a problem arises from the influences of other people. Does that necessarily mean that everyone bullies us? Not at all. Bullying or harassment is major factors, but positive influences can cause the same thing.

So you weren't bullied or harassed. Why do you feel that way? Media and societal influences. When I tell you what a perfect man looks like, 9 out of 10 times will I get an answer, "Brad Pit". Why do you think like that? You are trained to think that. Daughters hear from their mothers that those men are very desirable and have the notion that the images they see are what are deemed as a perfect man. Boys hear from girls and women the same thing and want to strive to be that way. We don't acquire this at birth, but are trained to

Aspire to Inspire: Insight and Influence

The Anonymous Counselor

94 think like that. SO in that ideology, I ask what is a perfect woman and people assume a model or actress who looks flawless on screen is the definition. Likewise, you are trained to think that. Are these true? To some maybe, but in the grander spectrum of civilized life, not at all.

So find the origin of your self-esteem problem? Family problems, society influences, forced media images, etc.? Now here's a bold approach: Tip 2: Throw away all negative influences. Sort through the truths and the falseness. IT is often easy to fall through the common misconception of comparing oneself to something deemed "perfect". Of course we live in a society where models and actresses are going to be desired. We can't change that (yet).

However, in our immediate society, the people we revolve our lives around, who cares about the lives of Hallie Barry or BeyoncĂŠ? (Except for Kanye West) We get that both women are beautiful, but should that make any other girl feel less important? When looking at the spectrum of our lives, other than entertainment, both women are completely irrelevant! So why bother using their looks to feel imperfect?

Don't compare yourself with another person when searching for positive traits of you, LOOK AT YOURSELF and determine what your positive traits are. Try not to be so superficial. Unless you are striving to go into a field of work that revolves around that kind of mentality or you may need to strive to obtain that type of image in order to pursue a career goal, understand that beauty is not one image. It is not an actress. It is not a model. It is not Brad Pitt. I can be, but it does not define it. There are many more examples that describe true beauty that we ignore on a day to day basis.

Beauty is external AND internal. It is not just an appearance, it is a mentality, character, a way of life that one sets their life upon.

Arguments on this mentality have been argued over and over and possibly the reason why this idea is lost because we as individuals have forgotten to read. Not that we can't read, we just don't much anymore. For example, read the Wife of Bath's Tale from Chaucer's The Canterbury Tales. It talks about a knight who is condemned to death if he cannot find the answer to the Queen's question on the subject of what do women desire most? Without any knowledge, he seeks an answer from what Chaucer deems as an "ugly" woman.

She agrees to help him in exchange for one promise that is not mentioned. With the answer, the knight's life is spared and he is able to carry on with this life. However, the promise is still owed. The ugly woman asks the knight to be her husband and to his abhorrence, has to agree. Now to many of you, what does this mean?

Not much right? Well this is the kicker. In the end, the knight is given a choice by his ugly wife: [Summarized] "If you so desire, I can magically change myself into a beautiful woman, but my intentions may turn to other men and I may treat you with no consideration what so ever, or I can remain the way I am and treat you as the best wife I can be and stay loyal and faithful." The knight gave her the choice to decide what was best and in the end, she became beautiful, externally and internally.

What does that mean? Some people may find someone unattractive. Maybe repulsive and undesired? Does that mean more attractive people are better? Not entirely so. We are all beautiful to a certain degree and by many different definitions. To men, which quality seemed to stand out as more desired in the above story: a beautiful woman who sleeps around or a woman who is faithful and treats her man as best as she could?

Think about that.

Throw out all the negative influences: negative harassment/influence, comparison to media, and the misconception that beauty lays only on the skin. It is the choices you make and how you carry yourself that defines your true beauty. Don't let knights decide for you and instead let you choose how to be beautiful, and you will become beautiful by your own definition.

Aspire to Inspire: Insight and Influence

The Anonymous Counselor

95 Tip 3: Define your own positive traits as well as negative traits. Now taking that list, look at why you think any of them are negative? Are they because any of the reasons found from the methods above? Or for other reasons? It's understandable that being overweight may be a problem health-wise. Does that mean you should point it out and make fun of yourself because so? Definitely not! Defining your own flaws is not a wrong thing to do, but to shower them on others does not help the subject but further your portrayal of a low-self-esteem. You don't like something about yourself and it's is able to be changed? Work on it. Don't do it for other people, do it for you. You want to become a faster runner? Do it for you. You don't like failing a class? Don't say that you are dumb, study harder. It takes effort to become a better person, but self-harassment and belittlement does not help a cause at all but instead halts the progress. You know what you are good at and what people like about you. You also may know what you like about yourself. With that retrospect you are consciously afraid of what negative traits others don't like about you. Don't worry about that. Worry what you don't like about yourself and work towards fixing them at your own pace and choice.

Stacy next door doesn't have control over your life, you do.

Tip 4: Be realistic and proactive. Now you know what makes you feel insecure, throw out the negative influences and determine what are positive and negative traits of yourself according to your own perceptions. Now look at all your decisions and determine if they are realistic. Don't set your standards to be something you are not. If you want it badly and will fight for it, by all means, but don't set yourself up to fail. Do what you can and what is manageable. I'm sure some people want to be president, but give you time. Work out the small kinks before going in for the major things. You want to become an athlete but never played sports? Try working out first or watching some games. Start small and work your way up. Set easy to accomplish goals and make progress. It's just about being realistic in making your goals and perceptions and then being proactive with carrying them out.

Tip 5: Find what makes you happy that also motivates you. You can't work to be a better you without motivation to do so. Do what makes you happy and do what you want to do. Find the goals and things that inspire you in positive ways that make you want to work towards being better. If that happens to be Hallie Barry or BeyoncĂŠ, then sure that works, just don't negative compare you to them and set yourself back. Try new things and work to be a good person in your own definition. If you do good deeds that make you happy, you will feel happy about yourself and learn to develop confidence with all the other tips applied as well.

Remember that society may influence you, but you decide who you are, externally and internally, and to what degree of importance. Beauty is not superficial, it is an appearance formed by mentality, character, and the way you carry yourself. It is the actions you do and the goals you accomplish. It is what makes you happy and motivates you to be the best you that you want it to be. You are in control of your self-esteem. It's your choice. It always has been.

Aspire to Inspire: Insight and Influence

The Anonymous Counselor