“Very Well, Thank You!”

Wellness is Waiting

So, you’re not sick but are you really well?

By Christine Fanning

Wellness, or well- being, is more than being free of dis ease and is, in fact, a process that is always changing and growing. Wellness encompasses the physical, emotional, environmental, intellectual, spiritual, occupational and social aspects of life. All of these dimensions of wellness should be adhered to in order to be considered truly well.

We want to feel good, look good and be happy. So every

January we concentrate on the physical. We make New Year’s resolutions to lose weight, we take up exercise programs to firm up. But then fatigue from work and family responsibilities sets in and all the resolutions are out the window.

Real change takes consistency and is borne of the desire to do right by our values, God or a higher power, self, family, friends, community and the world.

For true wellness, an online description by the Penn Foundation Behavioral Health Services says it best by separating it into several dimensions: “Emotional wellness is the ability to name feelings and to manage them in appropriate

ways. It helps decrease stress and increase life satisfaction. Environmental wellness centers on respect for the land, taking action to protect it and enjoying the comfort that being outside brings. Financial wellness is the ability to manage money, and not having enough is repeatedly a source of stress. Intellectual wellness is being open to new ideas, having a curiosity about things and a love of learning.

Occupational wellness

is enjoying work and appreciating one’s contributions to an organization and to people in general. Social wellness is having a support network. It means having different relationships with different people. Spiritual wellness is not the same as having a ‘religious practice.’ It is having a system of values that lets one find meaning and purpose.”

Emotional wellness Spiritual wellness deals with guiding beliefs,is the ability to principles or values that name feelings and give meaning and pur pose to one‘s life. to manage them in Spirituality allows us to find the inner calm and appropriate ways. peace needed to get through whatever life brings. When we are “in tune” with this aspect of wellness, we can find meaning in life events, comfort when things aren't going well, the beauty in life, the

ability to be compassionate towards others and individual purpose.” Values are essential beliefs that direct or drive actions. In a narrow sense, they represent what is good, desirable or worthwhile. Values are the motive behind purposeful action, and they assist us in finding the energy to live a life of wellness that includes joy, love, compassion and forgiveness. People who are physically well believe in taking charge of their health. They know that keeping their bodies at a healthy weight may help lower the risk of heart disease, Type 2 diabetes and certain types of cancer that can result from being overweight or obese. They keep track of their physical activity and how much sleep they get, which can help decrease stress, lower risk of disease and increase energy to deal with life in general. Emotional wellness helps one deal with life’s stresses, conform to change and adjust to difficult times. How you feel can affect your ability to carry out everyday activities and your overall mental health. People who are emotionally well have a

Occupational positive outlook and show an ability to hanwell-being refers to dle difficulties and bounce back fromfeeling good about upsets faster. This quality the work you do and is called "resilience." Another sign of emowhether it stimulates tional wellness is holding onto positive emoand inspires you. tions longer and appre ciating the good times more.

Environment wellness

reveals that our emotions can be soothed by the environment. We can’t always change the world around us, but an interest in the outdoors and a determination to surround ourselves with the beauty of nature can work wonders in improving our attitude and opening our eyes and mind to the importance of protecting the Earth.

Intellectual wellness is manifested by curiosity and the desire to learn more. Intelligence can be expanded through reading, travel and seeking other ways to grow knowledge and skills. When people expose themselves to new ideas, people and beliefs, they open their minds to the insights, thoughts, expressions and values shared by others. Financial well-being allows us to experience everything in life that is interesting, entertaining and just plain good. Children begin to experience financial experience beginning at age 10, say some experts. This is when they should become involved in programs designed to enhance their savings and spending habits. As adults, financial wellness establishes competence in the ability to obtain a mortgage or buy a car. The best thing we can do for our children is to equip them with the proper skills to be financially successful. There is nothing worse than lying awake at night worrying about how to pay the bills. With proper discipline, exposure to financial concepts and some practice managing money, the road to financial wellness will be smooth.

Occupational Wellness

Work should be fun. After all, happy employees are more productive at work. “Maybe work isn’t supposed to be work. Maybe work is supposed to

be an expression of our joys and connection,” says Jim Daly on the online Medium app. People who like what they do and find work to be an extension of themselves are the lucky ones. It seems most people only consider their work to be a way to make money. This is probably one of the stickiest points in finding complete well-being. Occupational well-being refers to feeling good about the work you do and whether it stimulates and inspires you. With a strong sense of occupational well-being, you will present as happier, healthier and more successful.

Social Wellness

Happenings’ June issue surveyed the importance of friendships and how they enrich our lives. “A strong friendship helps one navigate life’s ‘rough seas.’ Good friends help each other explore life and enjoy more activities than one would do on his or her own. Strong social relationships boost well-being, improve selfconfidence and increase a sense of belonging and purpose. Social wellness also deals with being part of the community and enjoying all it has to offer. This involves not only being part of the local community but also the country and the world." Freeing ourselves up to experience the dimensions of wellness is a challenge that takes real commitment – even when we’re tired. When we picture how we want our lives to look we can become more involved in the process. Perhaps the challenge can be met by just doing it. Take one wellness dimension at a time. The descriptions above explain what parameters to focus on. Work on it until it becomes a habit. Wellness is waiting for us! H

–Christine Fanning

Being Well: Joe Tomko on Friendship

Friends have always been an impor-

tant part of Joe Tomko’s life. ”Many of my friends I have known since grade school and high school. Friendship with us became easy as we share the same values with respect to family, work ethic and loyalty. We also keep in close contact; some I talk to on a daily basis. We know that if we ever need help we are there for one another.”

“Probably the worst time of my life was losing my parents within a year or so of each other. When each passed away, my close friends were at my house day and night, assisting my family and just being there to support us in our time of grief. They made the loss easier with their friendship and love. As I get older, I realize that friends are truly a support system. I trust their advice

which has been a part of the bond we have forged for many years.” Tomko is senior vice president of commercial banking at Fidelity Bank. He’s been in banking 40 years. He was raised in an Italian family with loving and supportive parents and grandparents and he has strong family connections with his two children who are in their 30s. “Family is my top priority,” he said. “You never stop being a parent, no matter how old your kids get to be.” His conservative values had him living within his means and teaching the same to his

children. “Financially, I have used my education and profession to plan for my future and make sure I can live comfortably,” he said. “They need to teach more of this in school. That’s the banker in me speaking. Kids need to know about life insurance, how to apply for a mortgage, how to budget, how to check their credit score and how to live free from debt.” Indeed, Tomko tries to maintain wellness in many respects. “Financially, I have used my education and profession to plan for my future and make sure I can live comfortably. I work out three to four times a week, not only for physical wellbeing but to improve my focus, self discipline and concentration.” H

Dan Santaniello, president and chief executive officer of Fidelity Bank

Dan Santaniello bases his well-being on balancing

family, work, relaxation and faith. “I believe in adding fun, faith, play and prayer to work and family time. You can never shut off a particular aspect of your life. For example, when I am on vacation I may have to deal with a work issue, and when I am at work I may be thinking about a family issue I need to address.

Balancing each of our major demands in life helps us to better manage them. First and foremost I make sure that my family is doing well, that each is well physically, mentally and spiritually. Carving out time to spend with your family to enjoy the pleasures of life can help you succeed in your career. Balancing core values, who you are as a person, and giving back when you are fortunate enough to do so, all contribute to your well-being. I am thankful that my career has afforded me the opportunity to not only provide for my family but to give back to the community as well. I value physical health and have experienced how vital it is to allocate time to exercise. Without physical health and exercise I would not be in a position to provide for my family or give to my community. Exercise also certainly helps me deal with stress. Each day that I begin with exercise puts me in a better frame of mind to address the challenges of the day.” H

Liz Graham on Friendships and Well-Being

““What makes a friend?” When I was growing up, I was always the new kid on the block. It is the military brat’s cross to bear that they will be picking up sticks and moving every couple of years. I became adept at heading to the playground wherever our new home was and introducing myself to other kids. I had a really well thought out approach—“Hey my name is Liz. I just moved here. Can I play?” Worked every time. Back then our friendships were based on your skill at double dutch or kickball and which Charlie’s Angel you would be that day. We spent days together exploring and laughing and when dusk began to settle, we ran off with a “See you tomorrow.” It was simple. As we got older and into middle school and high school, friendships became more complicated. Suddenly drama entered the relationship. It was more of a survival of the fittest competition. Were you a cool kid or not. If you had crushes on the same boy, it could make you lifelong enemies. Frankly, the whole thing was a lot less fun. Once I headed to college—the sheer size of college allowed you to have a variety of friends. I had jock friends and Greek friends and dead head friends. I loved that part. My friends were diverse and interesting and I learned something from each of them. But I also learned for the first time of how a friend can betray when one of my close friends slept with the guy I was seeing. A painful lesson. But college is also where I met my “thick or thin” friends. The ones who reached out and pulled me along when I was embarrassed and depressed. In college, I learned a lot about the importance of showing up for your friends. As we moved off into our different careers, I developed other friendships based on shared interests, shared work life and shared community. I enjoy each of those friendships for the connections and common values we share. My close friend circle has gotten small as I have gotten older. Now I understand what I value in my friendships—honesty, integrity, no drama, and you have my back and I have yours. Pretty simple stuff. There are a handful of those people in my life and I cherish them. The pandemic really clarified who your close friends were. I think that clarity was one of the few blessings of the pandemic. Friendships are a vital part of my wellbeing and I cherish each friend who has been a part of my life.” H

– Liz Graham, COO Riggs Asset Management Company

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Nancy Sanderson on Music and its relation to Well-Being

“The power of music is one of the hallmarks of the human experience; research in the last 15 years has shown that exposure to music promotes mental flexibility, develops perceptual and memory skills and trains the brain for general fitness. Being exposed to live music benefits

all people at emotional, physical and spiritual levels.

Music has a documented impact on brain development, as well as the development of cognitive functions, logical thinking and language skills for everyone, but particularly children. The neurobiologist Antonio Damasio makes the compelling argument that feeling and emotions as expressed in music play a central role in high-level cognitive reasoning. Because the world economy is so hypercompetitive, much of the focus in educa tion these days from Singapore to Shanghai to American schools is on STEM: science, technology, engineering and math. We need to add the arts to the mix: STEAM. The values behind arts integration – collaboration, flexible thinking and disciplined imagination – lead to innovative and inventive approaches to business practice. Our future leaders must balance their technological background with creative problem solving and aesthetic influence. With these tools, the next generation of leaders can do well in any field from software engineering to the biosciences.

On a more personal note, our son Duncan is currently the VP of a “green” engineering firm in NYC. We just listened to him being interviewed by a well-known engineering journalist. His first question was “tell us something about yourself that isn’t on your resume.” Duncan’s reply stunned us. He said that being raised by two classical musicians helped him to think creatively (and often outside the box!), factor in the aesthetic quality of each engineering design, and understand the deep connection between the arts and sciences. I guess all of those cello lessons paid off!” H