A Letter From Me to You

Writing | Kathryn Wheeler

Cancer is perhaps one of the hardest things that a person can go through, and without the support of friends and family, the burden of the illness is made all the worse. But thanks to hundreds of letters and a very special friendship, there’s now a charity bringing comfort to those undergoing treatment – and using the power of the written word, we can all get involved

When Brian Greenley was diagnosed with bowel cancer in 2010, he and Alison Hitchcock were simply acquaintances. “I didn’t know him very well at all, and I think I just felt very awkward when he told me,” Alison explains. “I didn’t know what to say because he wasn’t a close friend, so I wasn’t going to be going round to see him, because I didn’t really know him. So I made a bizarre offer…”

Alison began writing letters to Brian throughout his treatment, sitting down every other week to fill him in on the things she’d seen. In moments of huge emotional and physical strain, Alison’s letters offered Brian an escape.

What began as a heartwarming story of friendship and compassion, spiralled into From Me to You – a charity that encourages people to write letters to loved ones and strangers with cancer. So how did it happen? We spoke to Alison to find out.

Brian and Alison’s story began in 2010

Putting pen to paper

Following her offer, and with no real experience in letter writing, Alison began penning regular letters to Brian.

“My aim was to make him laugh,” says Alison. “I used to write about things I would see, or that would happen to me, and then I would always put a bit of a comedy slant on them. I never used to write about his cancer because I didn’t know anything, and I didn’t feel like I knew him well enough to be asking too much.”

Alison’s letters were a welcome distraction, opening up the rest of the world to Brian at a time when his own was consumed by intensive treatment. Later, Brian told Alison that he would save her letters to take to his chemotherapy sessions and, when he was alone, he would read them.

“Brian had a big circle of friends and family, but he felt very isolated when he had cancer,” says Alison. “Partly because there were people who drifted away from him, because they didn’t know what to say. But also, he isolated himself because he couldn’t bear other people’s pity.

“Then his cancer moved to stage four, and I kept writing,” Alison continues. “After about three years – by then I had written him more than 100 letters – he was finally given the all-clear. “And then we got back to our normal lives. But my normal life had changed quite dramatically in the course of writing to him.”

Alison soon discovered the power of letters

A first-class idea

Since writing the letters, Alison had discovered a love for writing that led her to enrol in an MA in creative writing. Beyond that, Alison and Brian had nurtured an incredible friendship – Brian was the only man on Alison’s hen weekend – and theirs was a story that caught the attention of Radio 4’s The Listening Project, leading the pair to tell their tale to the entire nation.

Following this, someone got in touch with Alison to ask whether they could use her idea, and write to a friend with cancer.

“A week later they contacted me and said: ‘I don’t know what to say.’ That was when I thought, ‘OK, this is what we should do with our letter story,’” says Alison.

Alison and Brian founded From Me to You, utilising the power of the written word and human connections. According to Macmillan Cancer Support, one in four people will experience social isolation throughout their treatment – and for Alison and Brian, addressing this huge problem was at the top of their list.

They began running letter-writing workshops, and posting advice online about how to write to friends and family.

“It’s very accessible to write a card or a letter,” says Alison. “Later, people were coming to our workshops and saying that they wanted to write letters, but they didn’t know anyone with cancer. That’s when we started ‘Donate a Letter’.”

A service where anyone can submit a letter to be sent out to someone living with cancer, ‘Donate a Letter’ is about reducing isolation with the simple art of letter writing. Once signed up online, From Me to You send a letter-writing kit with tips on getting started, sample letters, and stationary, and from there you can begin your letter-writing journey.

You can hold them, and touch them. I think that has quite a lot to do with it, it’s a physical object

Word to the wise

Different from emails and text messages, Alison avidly believes that there is a special power in letters. She recalls how when she would write to Brian, she created a ritual where she would sit down on her sofa, when she was home alone in the evening, and just let the words flow onto the paper. Writing them was a mindful experience for her and, beyond that, she sees how the love and attention that goes into the letter is felt long after it comes out the envelope.

“You can hold them, and touch them. I think that has quite a lot to do with it – it’s a physical object,” says Alison. “You also know that the person has had to put some time in to writing the letter, getting the stamp and posting it – that’s not as easy as sending a text or email.”

As Alison explains, letters live on with us. We pick them up and re-read them, or we leave them to one side and then catch them out the corner of our eye, and remember the care and attention they represent.

Signing off “People want to be reminded of the things that we all have in common, and that we all enjoy,” says Alison. “Christmas can be a really difficult time for people with cancer. If you know someone, just send them a Christmas card and tell them that you are thinking of them, and don’t shy away from that because you think that they may not be having a Christmas that is as jolly as yours.”

Reaching out to others really is as easy as that. And if Alison and Brian’s story tells us anything, it’s that there is huge power to be had in the simplest interactions. Kind words have the ability to pick us up, even through the most challenging times. “Write about the things that we all have in common – food, pets, family,” is Alison’s advice. “That’s what connects us all, and that’s what you’re hoping the letter will do: make a connection.”

Find out more about From Me to You, and how you can get involved by visiting frommetoyouletters.co.uk