5 minute read
Kindness for Mental Health
by Happiful
Kindness for mental health
Kindness has a profound effect on both our physical and mental wellbeing. Here we delve into the science of kindness, and discover ways you can enjoy a kinder 2019
Writing | Kat Nicholls
Humans are hard-wired for kindness. After we’re born, we rely entirely on the support of our caregivers. This is actually pretty unique, as other mammals rely on their parents for only a brief period before becoming self-reliant. Us humans, well, we need a little more time. With caregiving nestled into our DNA, it should come as no surprise that being kind benefits us physically and mentally. It’s nature’s way of congratulating us for doing what we need to do to survive.
Physically, kindness is excellent for us. When we practise kindness and compassion, our brain releases oxytocin (also known as the “love hormone”). This causes the release of a chemical called nitric oxide, which lowers our blood pressure and improves heart health. Kindness also affects the vagus nerve, which has the important role of running communication between our brain and organs. When this nerve is responsive, it reduces inflammation and heart diseases. Being kind makes this nerve more responsive, and even boosts our immune system. Already sold on why being kind is good for you? Well, this is only the tip of the iceberg. Kindness has an incredible effect on our mental health, too.
KINDNESS FOR MENTAL HEALTH
One of the simplest and yet most powerful effects of kindness is that it makes us happier. A study by Harvard Business School, involving 136 countries, revealed that those who were more altruistic and charitable were happiest overall. In another study, involving Japanese undergraduates, researchers found that counting the number of acts of kindness performed led to increased happiness. A big reason kindness and happiness are so interlinked is the element of gratitude. Being kind to others promotes a feeling of gratitude, making us more aware of our own good fortune. This cultivation of gratitude and positivity can be incredibly helpful for those with depression. Kindness makes us feel more connected and more loved, thanks to the release of oxytocin. It leads to conversations and positive interactions, all of which can help ease the sense of isolation many people with mental illness experience. Stimulating the release of serotonin, the “happy hormone”, kindness works in the same way as antidepressants and, while it should never replace your doctor’s recommendations, it’s a helpful tool to help improve mood. Those with anxiety can also benefit from being kinder. A study by the University of British Columbia asked a group of people with anxiety to perform at least six acts of kindness a week. After a month, they found a significant improvement in mood, relationship satisfaction, and a reduction in social avoidance in those with social anxiety.
BEING KIND TO YOURSELF
Being kind can feel like it’s all about other people, but it’s important to show yourself kindness, too. This may mean saying no to social invitations, so you can relax and recharge (see JOMO p14). It may mean asking for help when you need it, or ensuring you have enough time for self-care in your schedule. If self-compassion and kindness are areas you struggle with, meditation may be the answer. Neuroscience research suggests that focused meditation is one of the best ways to strengthen and increase empathy. Meditations that centre around self-compassion can also be incredibly powerful in helping you tap into your sense of self-worth.
EASY STEPS TO KINDNESS
Being kinder can sound like a lot of work at first, especially if the acts of kindness that come to mind are volunteering and doing things for others. While, of course, these are great ways to be kinder, they aren’t the only ways. To get started, it’s worth familiarising yourself with two key elements of kindness: doing no harm, and honesty. To do no harm means simply to think before you act, and try to make other people’s lives easier. In some cases, this means not calling out a work colleague for being abrupt when you know they’re struggling with something at home. In other cases, it’s more active – such as standing up for the rights of those being marginalised. Doing no harm doesn’t mean becoming a doormat, it means respecting other people’s journeys, and remembering that we’re all learning, while maintaining your values and integrity. Honesty is another small step we can take. Being true to ourselves, and not hiding our emotions, is an act of kindness, both to ourselves and others. Lying induces stress (this is what lie detector tests are based on, our body’s stress reaction to hiding the truth) so being honest is good for your health. You also show those around you that it’s OK for them to tell their truths. This is a beautiful act of kindness, that connects and humanises us all.
10 WAYS TO MAKE 2019 YOUR KINDEST YEAR YET
1. Make a connection calendar, and include reminders to stay in touch with friends and family throughout the year.
2. Get yourself some beautiful stationery and get into the habit of writing “thank you” notes.
3. Make a pledge to get to know any new staff members who join your workplace.
4. Set a reminder on your phone to smile at a stranger every day.
5. Find a cause you’re passionate about and get involved, whether that’s sharing their information on social media, or volunteering.
6. Offer your expertise and become a mentor.
7. Set up some “check-in” dates with a friend who’s going through a tough time.
8. Learn more about the art of active listening – this is a simple way we can show others kindness.
9. When you enjoy something (an article, podcast, book etc.) let the creator know!
10. Thank at least one person a week for something (no matter how small).
Bonus tip: Keep track of your acts of kindness so you can reflect on them throughout the year.
Practising kindness is like building a muscle – the more you do it, the easier it gets. Start with small steps and consider this: if everyone added “be kinder” to their list of New Year’s resolutions, what would our world look like?
KINDNESS RESOURCES
Organisations and charities with kindness at their heart:
Kindness UK – an independent, not-for-profit organisation aiming to make kindness a greater part of all of our everyday lives. kindnessuk.com
Action for Happiness – helping people take action to increase wellbeing and happiness. Here you’ll find practical resources and learning opportunities. actionforhappiness.org
Random Acts of Kindness Foundation – full of tips to be kinder all round, we love the annual Random Acts of Kindness Week (18–22 February) which encourages us to join together in the name of kindness. randomactsofkindness.org
Do-it Trust – a UK-based volunteering database helping you connect your skills with volunteering opportunities. doittrust.org
