How to cope with a cancelled wedding day

To all the couples who’ve had to call-off their weddings because of Covid-19, I’m so sorry.

For some, their big day may have already come and gone. For others, whose wedding is due to be in the next few months, they are facing the reality that it might not be the day they’d dreamed of. As we enter what is typically peak wedding season, it’s unlikely that large social gatherings will be permitted for some time.

Here, we share one bride-to-be’s experience, and explore ways to help you prepare and overcome anxiety, if you’re a couple worried about postponing your wedding.

WHAT SHOULD I DO IF I HAVE TO POSTPONE MY WEDDING DUE TO CORONAVIRUS?

Rachel Newton, sales executive at Combermere Abbey, a country house wedding venue in Cheshire, says: “This is an upsetting time for many brides and grooms who were so close to their special day – but we must remember that this is only temporary. You will still be able to marry the love of your life, it’s just going to take a little longer than you originally thought. When normality resumes – and it will – we’ll appreciate things a little more, and I believe this will be echoed on your wedding day.”

Here are some tips we hope you’ll find helpful and reassuring, if you’re having to make alternative arrangements for your wedding.

1 CONTACT YOUR VENUE AND SUPPLIERS

Becky Sutton, who was due to get married in April, says that calling the suppliers was a whirlwind. “Because we were so close to the day, everything was confirmed: guests, food, outfits, and payments had been made. But, in one day, I’d not only cancelled one wedding, but had prepared a new one.”

A lot of suppliers are being flexible during this time, which Rachel echoes is also the case for many venues.

“We recognise that brides and grooms are understandably devastated but, at Combermere Abbey, our approach has been to provide reassurance, by bringing clarity and objectivity so that their weddings can get back on track.”

Speak to your venue and suppliers about your options, and read through your wedding insurance. Once you have all the information, you’ll feel much more in control.

2 BE HONEST WITH GUESTS

Becky says that once the practicalities were out of the way, her focus turned to notifying their bridal and groomsmen parties. “These were the closest people to me, the people I didn’t have to put on a front with. Through a cracked voice and many tears, I told them the news while also checking they could make the new date.

“Being met with words of love and the reassurance of ‘whenever it is, I will be there’ shed a glimmer of light on what was a pretty rubbish day.

“It took me two days to notify the rest of our guests – I couldn’t face it before that. I knew so many of them had taken time off work, and booked travel and accommodation. Thankfully, the majority of people were understanding.

“Some guests couldn’t say for definite that they’d be able to attend the new date. We, therefore, not only still face the prospect of potentially having to postpone again, but also not having all of our guests there.”

3 WHAT CAN I DO IF GUESTS CAN’T ATTEND MY NEW DATE?

It’s upsetting if there’s a chance that not all of your guests will be able to make your new date, but there are some options to explore.

Looking at ways to involve guests that can’t be there – perhaps by live streaming your ceremony, or asking your photographer or videographer to do a quick edit – are options that may become

If you’ve got a garden, or have a bouquet of flowers, you can dry out petals to make beautiful, natural confetti.

more common for weddings. It’s also a good reason to continue celebrations after the day, when you can catch-up with loved ones who couldn’t attend in person.

4 REMEMBER WHY YOU’RE GETTING MARRIED

“If there’s one positive thing, it’s that the process of having to postpone has 100% brought me closer to my partner,” Becky says.

“It’s confirmed just how much we love each other and, at the end of the day, that’s the most important thing. I’m only glad that, whenever our wedding happens, it’s going to be a big celebration of love, not only between us, but our families and friends, too.”

And why not celebrate the original date you were meant to be getting married? Use it as a reason to have a little celebration, just the two of you. You could get dressed up, put your wedding rings on, have a date night – and maybe even say your vows to one another.

USE THIS EXTRA TIME TO PERFECT YOUR WEDDING DAY

Rachel is encouraging couples to try to find positives from this situation. “There’s a little extra time for additional planning now – perhaps you could integrate something into your wedding day that you didn’t have time to plan before?”

You could: • Learn calligraphy, to add a personal touch to your wedding invitations or place cards. • Make your own confetti. If you’ve got a garden, or have a bouquet of flowers, you can dry out petals to make beautiful, natural confetti. • Take some extra time to hone those vows and speeches, to allow you to do something truly special.

Although this may feel like a huge upheaval right now, remember that on your wedding day – whenever that may be – this will seem like a dim and distant memory. Your relationship will have survived a truly testing experience, and it will make the celebration of the love between you feel even more special, knowing what you overcame to get there.

For more information, Hitched, the UK’s number one digital wedding planner, has advice on all things relating to weddings and coronavirus – from whether your wedding insurance will cover postponement, to whether you’ll be able to collect your wedding dress during lockdown. Wishing you the best of luck, for when your big day does arrive.