The Happiness Project for Teachers by Happiness Project

â&#x20AC;&#x153;Happiness is contagious! Catch and spread the happiness virus.â&#x20AC;?

To my mother, Mamie, a retired public school teacher and principal

To my teachers whose happiness certainly increased my own Most of all to God, who has granted me with a greater portion of the happiness genes

Randy F. Rubio

I believe that Filipino teachers are among the â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;happiest teachersâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; in the world. RFR

Happiness is a mental or emotional state of well-being characterized by positive or pleasant emotions ranging from contentment to intense joy. wordnetsearch3.0

Happiness consists in activity. It is a running stream, not a stagnant pool. - John Mason

Introduction could have titled this a kindness or a service project which many of these “intentional acts” are called. I called it a Happiness project because I felt it was important to emphasize that when we do any of the "16 Intentional Acts," it makes us happy first before we make someone else happy. Although I’ve never been a professional teacher like you, I’ve taught in various settings since I was twelve years old. I was a successful company executive when I felt I was missing something – I wanted to teach. When I resigned from my job, I decided to go into human resource consulting. Fortunately, this new career offered me opportunities to teach in the Philippine corporations. I also realized that I wanted to pay forward all the good my teachers have done for me. I figured that I could use the lucrative income from my corporate clients to subsidize my seminars for schools.

Once I had met school owners and teachers, I was mesmerized by their kindness and enthusiasm. I discovered I shared a passion with them for wanting to make a difference for students and parents. Thus, another career path for me was born.

I envision being able to help you make a more conscious effort in obtaining and sustaining your own happiness, and then being able to pass the “emotional virus” to others. I’d like you to be able to track your efforts and know where and how you are making progress. Hopefully, you will gain insight on improving your own well-being.

I left the Philippines in 2004 and currently reside in the U.S. I’ve always planned on doing more for teachers. I am glad that new technologies provide me an avenue despite the physical barrier and distance. I hope to return there in a few years to resume my work. In the meantime, I hope this is useful to you. I’ve researched the happiness literature for the past two years. There is now empirical evidence to support those things we have previously considered as simply commonsensical. These simple but profound actions can have meaningful impact to our happiness. I wish to share some of these findings to benefit you, your students and other stakeholders in your school community.

As you know there are many sources to our happiness. Many of them come from our upbringing, attitudes and life’s circumstances. Our happiness represents a range of emotions from contentment, compassion, empathy, confidence, peace, courage, excitement, etc.

When we buy a new phone, own a new car or get a new job, all of which are positive experiences, it can give us sudden bursts of joy and pleasure. Unfortunately, these feelings do not last since we eventually adapt to it until the next new toy or experience arrives. This is called the “hedonic cycle.”

â&#x20AC;&#x153;The greater part of our happiness depends upon our dispositions, and not upon our circumstances.â&#x20AC;? Martha Washington

The Happiness Set Point Theory There is a ‘set point’ theory of happiness that assumes we each have a fixed ‘average’ level of happiness around which our overall happiness varies. Regardless of what life brings, the set-point theory goes, happiness levels tend to be stable. Fifty percent (50%) of our happiness is based on our genes and upbringing – that our happiness set point is largely genetically determined. We enter the world with a predisposition toward a certain level of happiness, and when everything else is equal, our happiness levels tends to hover around this set point.

Ten percent (10%) of our happiness is based on life circumstances – that our level of happiness is also influenced by the circumstances of our lives. Life circumstances include demographic variable such as our age, sex, marital status, and income as well as contextual variables such as getting a new job, moving to a new neighborhood, or injuring a knee while running. Forty percent (40%) of our happiness is based on intentional activities - this refers to those thoughts and behaviors that require effort. This effort may be apparent only to us or it may be visible to others. So what, if anything, can produce a lasting change in our happiness? Proponents of this theory believe that the answer lies in the final component of the model, ‘intentional activities.’ They suggest that these activities are the key to making lasting changes in happiness because such activities are more resistant to adaptation (the process by which we get used to something and become unaffected by it). We can deliberately engage in activities that make us happy.

Source: www.uncommonforum.com

â&#x20AC;&#x153;Action may not always bring happiness; but there is no happiness without action.â&#x20AC;? Benjamin Disraeli

T he happiness set point theory suggests that lasting happiness lies in our individual efforts. We’ve intuitively known this all along. Science has simply caught up and validated the understanding we’ve gained through our personal experiences. It is in serving or in our acts of kindness that produce a much enduring feeling of joy. All of these are acts of intention – mindful, thoughtful, deliberate effort on our part and they are guaranteed to make us happy .… longer. You must be wondering, “what is in it for me?” A lot! Your well-being is of prime importance. It is not only important to you but almost as important to those around you (spouse and children, if you are married; siblings and family members if you are single not to mention your friends). You are the second most influential person to a student. In some cases, the students spend more time with you than they spend time with their parents. Everyone in your classroom benefits when you are one happy teacher. You already know this.

However, what if you knew that your happiness can have a positive effect on others, many others, including those you have not even met? Is that incentive enough for you to embark on a happiness project? As you can tell, a lot of effort and time had been invested on this project. I’ve spent countless hours scouring books and articles on happiness. The time I’ve spent to create a website. But the truth is, nothing gives me more joy than being able to contribute to your happiness. While I’ve done work for free in the past, I never thought of it as helping beyond the direct beneficiaries of my efforts. With my new understanding of the “happiness virus,” I am more determined as ever to reach out to you, the teacher. You will have paid my efforts if you will adopt these ideas and experiment with the project.

How Happiness Spreads Standing at the cash register at Whole Foods recently, I overheard a twenty-something guy in front of me tell the cashier, with great embarrassment, that he was $1.15 short of his grocery charge. I donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t remember ever doing this before but I immediately offered him the $1.15. He was at first taken aback and then incredibly and genuinely grateful. He thanked me earnestly and at length. The experience was unexpectedly exhilarating and wonderful (even to me, who does research on kindness!). A dollar is so trivial I thought, and here was someone who indisputably appreciated and valued what I did. He had a wide, self-conscious smile on his face, yet as he hurried out, I saw him helping a woman in a wheelchair to lift her groceries. Sonja Lyubomirsky, Author, â&#x20AC;&#x153;The How of Happiness.â&#x20AC;?

The question you’ve probably been asking yourself as you are reading this is, “Do I have time to do a Happiness project?” As a teacher, you have more than enough work to do. Not to mention the roles you have to juggle daily. You could be a father, a mother, a husband or a wife, a brother, a sister. If you have children, they can be especially demanding of your attention. Then there are household chores and finances to manage or to worry about if they hardly meet your needs. Even if you are single, your personal concerns and challenges can easily fill your time. If you are public school teacher in the Philippines, you are likely overwhelmed with the pressures of the classroom. Perhaps you are dealing with far too many disciplinary issues exhausting you after a hard day’s work. You probably feel overworked and underpaid. I attended public schools until high school so I’ve been exposed to the struggles of teachers in the public school system. I can go on and on. In short, I assure you, I understand. So let’s take a look at your options. You don’t have to do this. There I said it. No, thanks is a perfectly good answer. This is not a required course. It is completely voluntary. However, I ask you to take a leap of faith. I know this is not the first time you’ve wondered if something is worth your time and effort. I invite you to take a good risk. I know this can enrich your life as a teacher, if only you will try. I know your reward will be greater than your sacrifice. Having said that, you still don’t have to do this. So I thank you for getting this far . May I ask you to pass it to another teacher who might have use for it.

“Don’t say you don’t have enough time. You have exactly the same number of hours per day that were given to Helen Keller, Pasteur, Michaelangelo, Mother Teresea, Leonardo da Vinci, Thomas Jefferson, and Albert Einstein.” H. Jackson Brown, Jr.

Now, if you have decided to flip to this next page, I am guessing that you are willing to hear me out. Thank you for giving this idea a chance. Let me assure you that this project is easy, flexible and extremely rewarding. Let’s start with easy because this is what you need to know. Many of the activities in this project require very little time. Take for example, “giving a compliment.” It only takes thirty seconds to say something meaningful to anyone. What about telling someone “I like you,” or making someone feel special? A minute or less is all that you need. To cast a smile on every one you meet, still just a few seconds at a time. That’s why I say it is easy. The main difference is that you do these happy acts consciously. Another way of looking at this project is focusing on one Happiness act…. the action that seems hardest for you. You do the same thing day after day after day until the act becomes second nature. Then you can choose another. You don’t have to choose anything that’s time consuming, just pick the easy ones. You don’t need to do multiple acts simultaneously. Just one at a time. Another thing you can do to make it easy is choose an intentional act and designate a happy day once during the entire week. One happy act only one day in a week. How hard can it be to apply these ideas? Not all, if you are honest with yourself. That’s it! That’s your entire project. You can do more later as time permits. What if I told you could do a “Happiness Project” for only two minutes a day? Find out how you can claim your Free Copy of the “Two-Minute Happiness Project” at the end of this ebook. You will be merrily on your way to starting your happiness project in no time. The difference is you are engaged in acts of happiness more intentionally, more consciously, more deliberately.

This project is flexible. Let’s look at your options again.

First option is to do this project whenever you feel comfortable and at your own pace. There is no drill sergeant who will hound you into doing any of this. Second option is to do a two-minute happiness project. Short, sweet and simple. Third option is to declare a “Happiness Project Day.” Choose one act or multiple acts then apply it for one day a week, for a few minutes. Very easy. Fourth option is to do the project in regular intervals. You can do it once a week, twice a week, thrice a week, once every two weeks, once a month, etc. Decide the frequency that best fits your schedule and motivation. So you as you can see, there is an option for every person depending on your availability and motivation. In short, you can devote as little or as much time as you want. The program is flexible. You decide how much you want to get out of it.

Just one caveat: mediocre efforts will yield mediocre results. Exceptional efforts will yield exceptional results. This is a natural law, you and I know it, and there is no shortcut to anything of value.

And finally rewarding.

Being happy does not only make you feel good

Happiness brings with it multiple fringe benefits

More sociable

More cooperative

More energetic

More charitable

Better liked by others

With richer network of friends

More productive in their jobs

Are physically healthier

Have stronger immune systems

Resilient in the face of hardship

Happy people even live longer

On average, every happy person in your social network increases your own chance of cheer by 9 percent â&#x20AC;&#x201D; and the effects of catching someone elseâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s happiness lasts up to one year. Melissa Dahl, NBC News quoting the Framingham Study

â&#x20AC;&#x153;I think happiness is what makes you pretty. Period. Happy people are beautiful. They become like a mirror and they reflect that happiness.â&#x20AC;? Drew Barrymore

The

Intentional Acts for

Teachers

Looking back on it, I really learned a lot in your Algebra class, Mr. Cruz.

I learned about the value of hard work, integrity and striving for excellence.

What about Algebra?

volunteer

hug

serve

help laugh visit listen

ACT

smile thank

inspire befriend

validate compliment

You have the enviable opportunity of spreading happiness in your schoolâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s close-knit community

TEACHER

The Happiness Project consists of “intentional acts” you will engage as a teacher to serve your various constituents in school. These social interventions are meant to be visible, observable and for the most part, measurable. Naturally, these actions will produce good feelings and subsequently, help you spread positive emotions to everyone around you. Furthermore, you can enjoy more lasting effects of happiness these actions offer.

1. Give a compliment 2. Write a letter of goodwill 3. Tell someone ‘I Like You’ 4. Wear a happy smile 5. Give a hug or a pat on the back 6. Extend a helping hand 7. Make a new friend 8. Listen to someone 9. Spend time with someone 10. Conduct a home visit 11. Spread the inspiration 12. Share a laughter 13. Teach a skill or expertise 14. Volunteer for a project 15. Secretly serve another 16. Random act of kindness

These are many things you can do to spread happiness in school. I suggest you start with these "sixteen intentional acts" I've identified to initiate your happiness project.

As you can tell, most of the "intentional acts" I propose are simple. However, do not be deceived by the simplicity of these ideas. These acts can provide you with positive emotions as you are likely to draw positive emotions from others. Not only will they contribute much to your own happiness, you can also potentially affect the happiness of others (most especially your students) including persons you haven't even met. Some of these actions are acts of kindness.

Selligman, the father of Positive Psychology, tells a story about his friend Stephen Post’s mother. When he was a young boy, and his mother saw that he was in a bad mood, she would say, “Stephen, you are looking piqued. Why don’t you go out and help someone!” He said that this maxim has been subjected to a rigorous test and scientists have obtained empirical evidence “that doing kindness produces the single most reliable momentary increase in well-being of any exercise they have ever tested.” (Martin P. Selligman, "Flourish," p. 21, Free Press, 2011)

â&#x20AC;&#x153;Happiness is a perfume you cannot pour on others without getting some on yourself.â&#x20AC;? Ralph Waldo Emerson

You

want

your own proof? Has anyone ever given you a compliment? Has anybody ever listened to you when you were discouraged? Or how about someone who took time to express appreciation for the good you've done in writing? Even the simplest of acts as in being told you are liked? Do you remember how you felt to be the beneficiary of such thoughtful gestures?

I was quiet. I was overweight. I was the new kid. And I was dealing with feelings of just losing my father on top of everything else. For the first few months in school, I didn't have any friends. I went to school, went home, went to school, went home.

One day in class instead of doing my assignment in English class, I was writing poetry. My teacher walked by, looked down and asked me quietly if she could read what I was writing. She didn't get on me about not doing the work she had assigned. She read my poem and she praised me for it, telling me that I had done a good job. Then she asked me if I had any more, and told me she would like to read them. The very next day, I brought all the poems I had at home, written out as neatly as I could. She said, "This is very good. I would like to use you as an example. Could I put some these on the board?"

If I am not mistaken, you still remember some of these choice experiences long after many years have passed. In fact, I suspect they've become part of your life’s most “unforgettable memories“ because somebody made the effort of making you feel validated and special. Remember the lightness of your step and the brightness of the mood that possessed you afterwards?

She took all my poetry and typed it up. She put up pink letters that said, "A Star is Born" and put "Sue Culver" underneath it. A lot of the kids didn't even know my name, so they were going, "Who is Sue Culver?" "Who is Sue Culver?" At that point she asked me to stand up.

It was really wonderful because I was finally recognized and the kids knew who I was. I was embarrassed a little bit but it went away immediately at recess, when I was asked to join some of the girls.

Today, I work as a 7th grade school teacher. Sue Culver

Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around. Leo Buscaglia

1 Give a compliment There is no effect more disproportionate to its cause than the happiness bestowed by a small compliment. Robert Brault

Reasons to Give a Genuine Compliment 1. Make someone’s day. That’s a nice thing to do.

2. Increased positivity. Keeping your focus on the positive parts in people expands your own positivity. You’ll notice more positive things about yourself, your own life and other things in your surroundings. 3. You get what you give. Don’t make this your sole reason but what you give you tend to get back from the world around you. 4. Attractiveness. Positivity, appreciation and being able to genuinely express yourself are attractive traits both in personal and professional relationships. People tend to want to hang around and work with people that have such traits. 5. It’s fun. When you give a genuine compliment you ignite a spark of happy feelings inside yourself. the positivity blog

Give a compliment

Identify a quality or behavior you can sincerely compliment. It might be about the student’s grooming, homework. For one’s efforts, a good attitude, a character trait. Be direct and specific with your compliment. “I appreciate that…” “It meant a lot to me that…” Offer a compliment to someone in the presence of others. Express your compliment in the presence of the class. Or in front of parents or in the presence of other adults. Compliment a fellow teacher or a staff member in a meeting. Choose someone you are having a hard time finding something positive. There is always someone you are struggling to see in a good light.

Whatever it was, I was terrified of Mrs. Terrell. But one thing I loved about her class was creative writing. We wrote stories and poetry and journal entries. We even got to write to the local newspaper editor. I wrote a politically incorrect letter about, of all things, politics and suddenly learned the magic of editing. One day we had to write about the different types of clouds. I wrote a poem about cumulus clouds . Later that week, just as school was letting out, Mrs. Terrell stopped my mother in the hallway and handed her my poem. This cannot be good, I thought. “She’s going to write a novel someday,” my teacher said in her tough, no-nonsense way. I froze. Could this be a compliment. From Mrs. Terrell?

It was. And after that day, second grade turned out to be not so bad. Also more than ever before, I dreamed of being a writer when I grew up. Thanks, Mrs. Terrell, for believing in me. Today, for show-and-tell I brought my writing. Katherine Stano

My second-grade teacher was Sister Maureen, in a Catholic Grade school outside of Philadelphia. At the end of the school year, Sister Maureen went around to every single person in the class and told them something positive she saw in them. I actually remember sitting there thinking, “Wow, I wonder what she’s going to say about so-andso, who’s a real knucklehead.” But she came up with something positive to say about every single person in class. Ed Rush

I can live for two months on a good compliment. Mark Twain

2 Write a letter of goodwill â&#x20AC;&#x153;Letters are among the most significant memorial a person can leave behind them.â&#x20AC;? Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

What can we do to stand out above the escalating noise of our new social channels? How can we make an impression that separates us?

A handwritten note.

More than ever, the few minutes of extra time taken to scribble your [thanks] may send a unique message unachievable in the background of social chatter. Bryan Vartabedian, M.D.

A letter of praise or admiration. People can read and reread what’s written. Even a short note can lift another. A letter of encouragement. A letter of comfort. For people around you who seem discouraged. For people who have suffered a loss.

Scribble a few lines in a test paper. A sentence or two to say something positive. “Putting something positive in writing is memorable and will be treasured by others for a lifetime.” © 2013 The Happiness Project for Teachers

Write a letter of goodwill

A letter of appreciation. Verbal thanks is good, but writing makes it more special. Buy ready-made thank you cards or make them yourself. Put it in your desk. So when the inspiration hits you, pull a card and write the note. Buy the stamps in advance. Mail or hand deliver.

I was doing a sad sophomore slouch down the high school hallway when Mr. Schelling came up beside me. He was the football coach; I only knew him because we went to the same Church. “Who are you going to winter formal with, Sarah?” he said, making small talk. The lockers were plastered with posters advertising the annual ball. I looked down. “ I don’t have a date.” “Does that bother you?” “Um. A little.” A lot, I thought. A date was social currency. Approval. Assurance that you were okay. Normal. Liked. He smiled sympathetically, and we turned down opposite halls. A few days later, I got a letter from Mr. Schelling. In it, he related my winter formal woes with those of a former star player who was at college now and also having trouble finding dates. Mr. Schelling said we were both victims of a strange social phenomenon wherein, smart, capable, attractive people aren’t asked out because they are too intimidating. He said not to worry; life is more than your sophomore winter formal. Whether or not it was entirely true ( I had a feeling my shyness and flat chest were also to blame), it made me feel better. With one first-class stamp, Mr. Schelling lifted me out of the vortex of teen angst and taught me a lesson on perspective I’ve never forgotten. Sarah Mueller © 2013 The Happiness Project for Teachers

3 Wear a happy smile â&#x20AC;&#x153;Happiness and joy. A smile, a true smile, cannot only make you feel better, but can make anyone who sees it feel better. It takes less muscles to smile than frown. But being with someone who smiles often, lifts your heart and makes you feel better. Generally will let you have a greater day as well.â&#x20AC;?

â&#x20AC;&#x153;Every time you smile at someone, it is an action of love, a gift to that person, a beautiful thing.â&#x20AC;? Mother Teresa

Wear a happy smile Of all the happy things you can do, a smile is the most contagious! Start your day with a smile. Smile at everyone you meet. When in the mirror, smile at the most beautiful person in the world. When you start, end or in between a class, flash a smile to your students. Commit to smile for a few minutes. A few minutes here and there throughout the day. Remember to smile even just for a few minutes. Time yourself.

Remind yourself to smile always. Wear a rubber band on your wrist. Each time you catch yourself not smiling, pull the rubber band. Experiment on smiling to someone whom you do not know. You are likely to get a smile back.

Smile especially if you are having a bad day. By forcing yourself to smile, happy feelings will follow. “You are never fully dressed without a smile. Don’t go out naked.” © 2013 The Happiness Project for Teachers

Good Reasons to Smile 1. Smiling can make you happy* 2. Smiling can make others happy. 3. Smiling makes you more attractive. 4. Smiling can help you de-stress. 6. Smiling can lead to laughter. 6. Smiling just feels good. * (even when you're not).

sparkpeople

4 Make a new friend Friends are the most important ingredient in this recipe of life. Dior Yamasaki

Why Friends Maybe Your Ticket to Living to 100 It turns out that the positive effect of regular social contact to a persons' health is about as strong as the effect of blood pressure, smoking, alcohol habits, obesity, and eating a healthy diet. Take, for instance, the following two pieces of research: In 2010, researchers at Brigham Young University published a summary analysis of 148 different studies that involved 308,849 people. They were of an average age of 63.9 years and hailed from four different continents, and the study dealt with the impact of social relationships on mortality risk. The conclusion was startling: People who enjoyed strong social ties had a 50 percent increased likelihood of survival over a measured period of 7.5 years compared with people with weak or no social ties.

And a 2010 Australian study that looked at 188 people over the age of 100 found that having a close network of family and friends was a highly significant factor in their lifespan. Having too little social contact compromises our health, whereas a diverse array of social connections improves our health. David R. Hamilton, Ph. D. Huffpost Healthy Living

Introduce yourself to a new person. You do not know everyone. There is always someone to introduce yourself. Befriend someone who seems to avoid you. Occasionally there are people who are indifferent with you. Seek them out. Go out of your way to build a relationship.

Renew an old friendship. Relationships need nourishment. They die if unattended. Reconnect with an old friend. Meet up to rekindle old ties.

ÂŠ 2013 The Happiness Project for Teachers

Make a new friend

Identify someone who is usually alone and shy. Find someone who needs a little push with friendship.

It wouldn’t be an understatement to say our daughter has always been strong-willed. Mrs. Beatty, her second grade teacher, found this out shortly after the school year began when Bess simply vanished from class early morning. A vague response from a classmate prompted Mrs. Beatty to look out the window. Sure enough, Bess was purposely walking away from school, nearing the corner. She was determined to walk home after suffering an injustice that was never fully explained. Fortunately, Mrs. Betty quickly and calmly resolved the episode by arranging to leave the building, catching up to Bess, gaining her trust, soothing her wounded sensibilities, and gently guiding her back to the classroom – all within a few minutes. Perhaps more importantly is what Mrs. Beatty didn’t do. She didn’t panic, alert anxious students and punitive administrators, or treat Bess like a seven-year-old fugitive. It was a small personal matter that simply required a quiet moment of understanding. In that moment on the sidewalk, student and teacher became friends through second grade and still today, almost twenty years later. Ed Wallerstein © 2013 The Happiness Project for Teachers

Among all my 150 teachers, one stood out. His name was Father Michael Hindelang, SJ, a Jesuit priest, who taught me second-year Latin in high school. He ran his classroom in a very particular manner. He was one of those teachers who knew if you didn’t come prepared for his class. He’d sense it. He had one persona in class: that of being very direct, very stringent, and clear in his directions and expectations. He rarely laughed and never joked around during class. Being involved in activities after school, I would sometimes see a different persona outside of class, as he walked his black Labrador, Jet. He couldn’t be more friendly and jovial. He would always stop and engage me and other students in a conversation. He was interested in talking about you, and what was going on in your life, what were your challenges and goals. He knew how to give a boost of confidence. Denny Lee

5 Extend a helping hand â&#x20AC;&#x153;The things you do for yourself are gone when you are gone, but the things you do for others remain as your legacy.â&#x20AC;? Kalu Ndukwe Kalu

Benefits of Helping Others Add a sense of purpose and meaning to life Take the mind off worries for a while Increase a boost in a feel-good part of the brain Remind people that they relatively lucky Feel generous Increase happiness Feel connected to others Feel needed and effective Mykim Tran Sacramento Health and Happiness Examiner

Help students with complex projects. Follow-through, help students with projects before deadlines. Invite a parent to school to discuss a studentâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s academic difficulties. Instead of waiting for a conference, take proactive action. Make parents your allies in improving student performance. Formulate a plan with parents to overcome student learning challenges. Use email, text messages, phone calls to follow through. Assist a fellow teacher or staff in completing an assignment. Offer to pitch in to finish school projects.

ÂŠ 2013 The Happiness Project for Teachers

Extend a helping hand

Offer to tutor students. Make yourself available for students who have difficulty learning.

There was Edda Morris at Herman Ridder Junior High School in the Bronx. My mother has been my piano teacher all my life, and Mrs. Morris realized that : (a) I should go to Music and Art High School; and (b) I didn’t play well enough to get in. So she said, “You bring a bag lunch each day and I will work with you for an hour at lunch and prepare you for the audition. “Twelve hundred children auditioned. One hundred got in. I was one of those lucky kids, and Music and Art High School changed my life. Shari Lewis

Our drama program included an event where senior drama students directed one-act plays. I ambitiously decided to write my own play and apply to produce it. Without thinking much about the demands it placed on my teacher, I included a part for a pianist who would play a difficult Beethoven sonata. Not only was Miss Lane receptive to the idea, but she helped at every turn. She offered suggestions for improving the script and guided my first tentative steps into the world of directing. Somehow, she even found the money in the drama budget to hire a prominent local musician to play the role of the pianist. It was only years later that I realized how much extra work Miss Lane had done to bring my ideas to life. To this day, I am grateful to her. Scott Emmons © 2013 The Happiness Project for Teachers

6 Spend time with someone Ordinary people think merely of spending time. Great people think of using it.

Spend time with someone today. It may not mean much to you. But it may mean the world to them.

Share lunch or recess time with students, parents or teachers. Offer to spend time with students for casual conversations.* Engage in small talk about hobbies, interests and other topics. Bonding starts with finding common ground. Be genuinely interested with another. If possible, get to know students and parents in an informal setting. Ask information about others while offering a little of yours.

Warning: In spending time with older students, do not be alone with the opposite sex. Two or more students can be involved so that there is no appearance of impropriety. Or at school areas where everyone is visible. *If it does not violate school policy

ÂŠ 2013 The Happiness Project for Teachers

Spend time with someone

For this project, I differentiate it from helping or listening. This is time spent with no other agenda except to get to know others better.

Our teacher’s name was Mrs. Berland. Every Friday in the spring, we bought a sack lunch. Mrs. Berland would take us out on nature walk into the woods behind our school. We’d go to a huge tree that was easy to climb and could hold many children. As we sat in the tree and ate our lunches, Mrs. Berland read wonderful stories to us. It was terrific!

Throughout the year, Mrs. Berland used unusual techniques to make learning fun and interesting. She had a unique tradition of inviting the entire class to an end-of-the-year hot dog party at her home. We never had another teacher invite us to her house, and that just made us all feel so special. Lorie Stelzig

7 Listen to someone Perhaps the most important thing we ever give each other is our attention A loving silence often has far more power to heal and comfort and to connect Than the most well intentioned words Rachel Naomi Remen

Benefits of Good Listening 1. Communicate respect. By offering others respect, you gain theirs.

2. Give others airtime. If you listen first, others are likely to return the favor. 3.Gain information. You will understand others better. 4. Become more likeable. People like people who listen. 5. Better relationships. Create goodwill by listening to the concerns of others. 6. Obtain greater clarity. Helps prevent misunderstandings.

Chloe Sekouri, Suite101.com

Listen to someone Seek first to understand, and then to be understood.* The next time you are tempted to rush into judgment…. Pause and ask the other person to explain first. Repeat to the person what you have understood. After s/he has confirmed you have understood… Explain yourself carefully until you are understood. Find someone in class who appears uncharacteristically failing or sad. Invite the student to talk to you after class. Find out what’s going on in that person’s life. Shut up, don’t interrupt, ask questions, listen and learn.

*Stephen R. Covey 7 Habits of Highly Effective People

In the event that someone misunderstands your words or action. Have the courage to talk to with whom you have or has offended you. Commit yourself to listen, really listen. Refer to the process above. “When we listen, people reveal themselves if they feel we have truly understood and they become open to our influence.” © 2013 The Happiness Project for Teachers

Most people do not listen with the intent to understand; they listen with the intent to reply.

Stephen R. Covey 1932-2012

efore I started high school, we moved to a new town. At the time in my life, I was very negative, quiet, “into myself” kind of a person. I had a few friends in school. I had no brothers and sisters living at home anymore. I got my good marks and I lived my own life. But by Grade 10, I got into such a state of depression that I couldn’t cope anymore. I didn’t want to be at school. I didn’t care about anything. I started skipping school. Mr. Penner, the school counselor and math teacher, never mentioned about my skipping. He just let it go. But after a while, I realized that I had skipped too many of Mr. Penner’s math classes and I needed to be there. So one day, I was sitting in this class and I was supposed to be doing the assignment, which, of course, I wasn’t doing because I was just too depressed. I started doodling on the back of the assignment paper, drawing a circle that looked like the world, and lines and stars. I had “insanity” written over all these scribbles and squiggles. I ended up spending my entire 80minute math class drawing this picture. At the end of math period, feeling uncomfortable but not really caring, I handed the paper with my name on it. Math, incomplete as usual. Mr. Penner took the paper and never said anything. The next day, when I came back to class, he handed me back my assignment. Of course I had gotten a zero but on the back of my drawing he wrote, “Life is trouble. My door is open. You are more than welcome anytime.” I guess he knew that if he’d come to me, I would have not responded. But because he left it up to me and I wanted to talk to somebody, I chose to go to him. I went down to his counselor’s office. He asked me if I wanted to talk but I didn’t really want to so I sat there for about 40 minutes. He let me sit alone and be quiet. At one point he asked if there was anything that I’d like to do in school. “What are you going to do in your career? Have you made any choices?” And I talked to him about maybe going into physiotherapy but he never questioned me about my picture, my marks, my skipping class or anything. © 2013 The Happiness Project for Teachers

About a month down the road, he called me to his office and said, “Deanna, I’ve got something for you.” He said, “I think we’re going to make arrangements for you to have a summer job, working for a physiotherapist so that you can decide whether or not you’d like to do this kind of work. I think you’d be really good at it. If you’re interested, this is what you can do.” I did go to physiotherapy that summer and spent a wonderful summer doing it. At the lowest point in my life, Mr. Penner offered me a sanctuary by allowing me to go into his office anytime I got stressed out in class. I had the option to get up and leave and go sit in his office, whether he was there or not. I went often. He gave me guidance to be able to make decisions on my own, and made it possible for me to sit in a room quietly and be able to think my problems through. I still have that paper and now and then I take it out and look at it, and I remember that there was somebody out there who cared, who just sit and listen, and who wouldn’t judge. I don’t know where he is anymore, but he had a tremendous influence on my life, and probably on my four children’s lives, as well, because I can now respond to them when they’re having a hard time and let them be quiet and sit with their thoughts. My children often leave me notes that say, “I had a bad day, Mom.” And on the back of their notes, I often respond, “Life is trouble. My door is open.” Deanna Ruether © 2013 The Happiness Project for Teachers

8 Conduct a home visit â&#x20AC;&#x153;The Teacher Home Visit Project has provided me the opportunity to show parents that someone from the school cares.â&#x20AC;? Angel Whitefield

Teachers increasingly use home visits to connect with students’ families Kevin Sieff, The Washington Post

The two high school teachers knocked at apartment 512 of a Crystal City high-rise and waited to see the inside of Alvaro Nunez Alvarez’s life. Up to that point, the teachers knew this about 14-yearold Alvaro: He was quiet. He had recently arrived from somewhere in Latin America. He was smart and ambitious. They were there to fill in the blanks — to conduct a kind of parent-teacher conference on the family’s turf. There’s no better way, many educators say, to turn distant or unresponsive parents into allies and communicators actively involved in the education of their children.

When the door to Apt. 512 opened, there were Alvaro and his sister, standing in their matching Wakefield High School T-shirts, blushing. There were his parents, welldressed, deferential, letting out a stream of “thank you so much” and “it’s our pleasure to host you” in Spanish. Debbie Polhemus and Yun-Chi Maggie Hsu, both Wakefield teachers, were reaching out to the Nunez Alvarez family in a manner once considered out of bounds but now increasingly common and across the country: sitting in a student’s living room, munching on homemade pupusas, talking about academic expectations far from school halls.

Choose students who need it the most. This is time-consuming but will generate much goodwill. Choose the beneficiaries wisely. Involve other teachers. Have someone with you, if possible, another teacher. It is ideal to be with a buddy when visiting studentsâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; homes. Visit someone sick or absent for an extended period. Conduct the visit with the class or class officers or fellow teachers. Make sure you are following school policy, if there is any. You should adhere to school policies or help create one. ÂŠ 2013 The Happiness Project for Teachers

Conduct a home visit

Plan the visit and formulate an agenda. Have a mission in mind before visiting a home.

When I was in high school, I was often depressed. I knew I was gay but I thought I was the only one. One day in my sophomore year, I went into the counselor’s office and I noticed a sign that read, “If you’re gay, you are not alone” and I’m looking around like, “Okay, I misread the sign.” My next step was to tell her about myself and I was kind of scared and uneasy about coming out to somebody I didn’t really know too well. I ended up telling her about a gay cousin of mine. Eventually I told her abut myself and she gave me a hug and was very supportive and understanding. She said, “You’re not alone, and you’re very gifted.” She gave me a lot encouragement and some literature, and she gave me the phone number of a youth support group.

This woman is known throughout the community for her work, and throughout the years she’s really inspired me, and she’s taught me so much. We found a few of the gay teens in the school, and we just kind of met and sat around her office, and if could get her hands on some literature, she would give it to us so we can have something to read and educate ourselves with. When I came out to my family, they had a chance to meet with her. She’s educated them with a lot of issues and she’s broken down a lot of stereotypes. She’s made it easier for my family to understand, and some of my friends as well. When I speak at some of the local colleges, I talk about how difficult it was until this counselor came along. I feel very fortunate to have had this person in my life.

9 Give a hug or a pat on the back “Hugs don’t need new equipment, special batteries or parts – just open up your arms and open up your hearts.” Jill Wolf

Reasons Why We Need at Least 8 Hugs a Day 1. Hugging boosts self-esteem. 2. Hugs strengthen the immune system. 3. Hugs balance out the nervous system. 4. Hugging releases tension in the body. 5. Hugs teach us how to give and receive. 6. Hugging builds trust and a sense of safety. 7. Hugging is an investment in the relationship. 8. Hugs are so much like meditation and laughter. 9. Hugs lifts serotonin levels, elevating mood and creating happiness. 10. Hugs boost oxytocin levels, healing feelings of loneliness, isolation, and anger. Marcus Julian Feliciti Mind, Body, Green

If you feel awkward with a hug, give older students a pat in the back. When expressing a compliment, add a pat in the back. If you are a female teacher and having a hard time showing affection. Get out of your comfort zone and hug another.

Male teachers hug your fellow male teachers. Nothing is more manly. We need hugs more than our female counterparts. Just do it.

Give a hug or pat in the back

Appropriate for preschool and most grade school children. Giving a hug to children is an act of caring and love.

Mrs. Hyde was a hugger. You know the type. The teacher whose arms were always wide open in welcome, making all the little ‘someones’ in her class feel loved and cherished. Those hugs really made a difference my third-grade year. Shy and worrying about my parent’s divorce, I came to school many days uncertain of myself and the world around me. But Mrs. Hyde was there with a warm smile, an encouraging word, and an extra hug or two. Recognizing how much I loved to read, she even appointed me class librarian. She just seemed to know just the thing the child needed. Years later, while home from college, I stopped by Mrs. Hyde’s house one afternoon. She told me about retired life, and I told her about my literature courses. She was so pleased to know I still loved to read. Before I left, she placed a small jar in my hand labeled “hugs.” “For when you need an extra one or two,” she said. To this day, years after that afternoon and her later passing. I still think of Mrs. Hyde and her loving spirit every time I see that jar sitting in its special place on my bookshelf. She was a teacher whose first priority was taking care of little hearts. From the bottom of mine, I will always be grateful. Suzanne Berry

Every day when the school bell rang, I always knew where I’d find Mrs. Fredrickson. She was always at the door, greeting everyone of us with what she called, “an H or an H,” a hug or a handshake. I always chose the hug. Most of the kids began with a handshake, but by the end of the first month everybody was going for the hugs. And now whenever I talk to teachers, I tell them about her. Because when it comes down to how we really and truly can impact kids the most, it isn’t in the curriculum or some program or kit. We can make such tremendous differences on our students’ lives with our personal touch, by greeting them with “an H or an H,” and by being a teacher who can really make children feel special. Dr. Michelle Borba

10 Share a laughter You donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t stop laughing because you grow old. You grow old because you stop laughing.

Remember laughing? Laughter enhances the blood flow to the bodyâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s extremities and improves cardiovascular function. Laughter releases endorphins and other natural mood elevating and pain-killing chemicals, improves the transfer of oxygen and nutrients to internal organs. Laughter boosts the immune system and helps the body fight off disease, cancer cells as well as viral, bacterial and other infections. Being happy is the best cure of all diseases!â&#x20AC;?

The routine is familiar : when a student is late or absent from school, a letter from the parents must be supplied for the absence to be excused. Sometimes such letters suggest that the parents were excused from school one too many times in their own youth.

“Please excuse Jimmy for being. It was his father’s fault.” “Please excuse Gloria from Jim today. She is administrating.” “Please excuse Ray Friday from school. He has very loose vowels.” “Please excuse Lisa for being absent. She was sick and I had her shot.” “Sally won’t be in school a week from Friday. We have to attend her funeral.” “My son is under a doctor’s care and should not take P.E. today. Please execute him.” “Megan could not come to school today because she has been bothered by very close veins.” “Carlos was absent yesterday because he was playing football. He was hurt in the growing part.” “Please excuse Jennifer for missing school yesterday. We forgot to get the Sunday paper off the porch, and when we found it Monday, we thought it was Sunday.”

Share a laughter

In order to do this, you don’t need to be a comedian or even funny, just someone with a sense of humor.

Tell a funny story to a friend or a colleague. Share a funny story you have heard but don’t start with, “I want to tell you a funny story.” Just say it’s a story. If it bombs, then they will not know the difference. Start, end or interrupt your class with a good, clean joke. Start a tradition of start or ending class with something funny. Invite students to share something funny in class. Make yourself the focus of humor. Others will love you more for it. This is called self-deprecating humor. But don’t overdo it. Text or eMail a good, clean joke. When you find something funny, text or email it to others.

I was a disruptive student. I upset every class because I was always thinking funny. So Dr. Jacobs, my physics teacher made a deal with me. He would give me five minutes at the beginning of the class to tell my jokes, to joke around, to do anything I wanted for exactly five minutes, then I had to shut my mouth for the rest of the period.

Dennis McDermott was my high school Biology teacher my senior year. He was funny. He knew how to relate to students, and he had a good sense of direction in telling you what to do so you can get good grades.

He would get up as soon as the bell rang and everyone was in their seats. He would say, “Ladies and gentlemen, Physics 101 is proud to present the comedic styling and antics of David Brenner.” And then I would do five minutes. He’d sometimes cut me off right in the middle of a joke! But I could use those five minutes however I wanted. I could make fun of him or do anything I wanted to do.

He was very energetic. In class he’d write on the chalkboard so fast that we students would take notes as fast as we could. We would just try to keep up with him and process massive amounts of information. Then he’d stop and crack a joke to relieve the tension, and everyone would laugh. It took the pressure off for a minute, and then he’d get right back to the material.

Many years later on a TV show, I said that I hadn’t been that great a student, and Dr. Jacobs, then in his late 80s, sent me a letter with a transcript of my class’s grades. The transcript showed that I was one of only three students who got an A in physics that year. He wrote in there, “So you weren’t a bad student, after all.”

He was also good at breaking down the material with diagrams and pictures to make it more understandable than the book did.

David Brenner, Entertainer and Network Radio Show Host Forrest Gregory

11 Spread the inspiration “ If you want to lift yourself up, lift up someone else.” Booker T. Washington

Share a news piece of an inspirational person. Be on the lookout for news of courageous or heroic acts. Sing an inspirational song. If you know how to sing, you can inspire others with music. If not, invite someone to sing or play an instrument in your class. Read an inspirational poem. Poems are a terrific resource of faith, hope and noble aspirations. Show an inspirational video clip or movie. The internet is filled with video clips that portray inspiring stories. Do not hesitate to discipline or to hold others accountable. It will sting but when done right, provide a lifeâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s lesson. ÂŠ 2013 The Happiness Project for Teachers

Spread the inspiration

Tell your stories or of people who have overcome hardship. True-to-life stories of adversity are inspiring. Especially if the stories are yours or of people they know.

Quite often after lunch, we would have long discussions in class on all kinds of different issues that would be important to a bunch of 10-year old children. We would sometimes talk for a whole half hour or longer. Mrs. Brown seemed really interested in what we had to say. She would also share a part of herself with us in these discussions and tell us little stories that went along with the topics. These discussions seemed to make school so exciting. They really put those things into perspective for me and helped form my own morals and values. Pat Brown

I liked violin. What I didn’t like was the teasing and name-calling as I walked, violin case in hand, to and from my homeroom, where Mrs. Mason was my teacher. Being extremely shy, it wasn’t long before I wanted to quit music lessons to avoid the cruel jokes. I can only guess that somehow Mrs. Mason found out what was happening, because one Tuesday, she asked me to play for the class. I was terrified….and secretly thrilled. Mrs. Mason was my favorite teacher and I didn’t want to disappoint her. I played “Flow Gently, Sweet Afton,” with my usual share of mistakes, but it didn’t matter. Mrs. Mason began clapping, and the whole class joined in. She praised my effort and courage in standing up in front of a crowd. After that no one teased me about my violin again. Linda Staten © 2013 The Happiness Project for Teachers

Top Ten Ways to Inspire Others • • • • • • • • • •

Be a good example. Be someone worth emulating. Care about others. Take a genuine interest in people. Encouragement. Support people and encourage them through tough times. Be inspired yourself. Look for people, ideas, and knowledge to inspire you. Share own experiences. Mine the wisdom from the rich experiences of your life. Be vulnerable. Be willing to share your failures as well as your successes. Tell stories. Facts tell and stories sell. Share inspiring stories with others. Be a good communicator. Invest in your communication skills. Challenge people. Hold people accountable. Read. Tell people about books that have inspired you. Michael Angier, Success Networks International

My Greek teacher was a small, soft-spoken man. On the first day of class, he said, “ Now if you pass my class, you’ll be able to make it through any graduate school in the country.” He said, “ I am a tough teacher; but I am fair. This is how my grading works: 100 to 96 is an A, 95 to 90 is a B, 89 to 80 is a C, and anything below 80 is failing.” I nearly had a heart attack! But then he said, “ I will do everything in my power to help you succeed.” In class, if you couldn’t get it, he would sit there with you until you understood the information. You could even call him from 7:00 until 9:00 in the evening, and you could ask him anything and he would help you out. But he was tight on that grade. He felt that if you could get over this hump, you’d know the information. He was there for you. I had a lot of teachers who set difficult goals for us, but they weren’t willing to help – it was just sink or swim. He didn’t make it easy, he just helped out. This professor, let you know exactly what you were in for right from the beginning, and he also give the option to bail: “If this is not for you, you don’t need to be here.” He wanted you to make it. I ended up getting a 95 percent, which is the highest percentage I’ve ever scored in a class. Edward McNair

12 Tell (or show) someone ‘I Like You’ To show or tell another “I like you” is saying “I see you,” “I know you,” and “you matter to me.”

“My teacher likes me. He really, really likes me.”

We don’t have to say “I like you.” But our words, action and body language can show how much we value another.

Everyone needs validation. Including adults. If you like someone, say so. When validating another, say why. Establish eye contact when talking to others. Our eyes communicate sincerity. Challenge yourself to like the unlikeable. Work on someone you do not like.

Tell someone ‘I like you’

How does it make you feel when posting something on Facebook, you see someone, even a person you do not know, click on the “like” button?

Sister Cephas was my religion teacher in ninth grade, and she laughed at my jokes. If I told a story, she responded. She made me feel important in that class, and she appreciated my humor. For a student who was rather serious most of the time, she made me feel like I had a good personality, and that always remained with me. Patricia Gallagher

Mr. Swartz was the one I had in tenth grade math. He looked at each person as they walked in the class with such a look in the eye that you knew you were being recognized, which to me is not common in high school. He always made a comment whether it was, “Interesting shoes you are wearing,” or “Oh, you’re wearing you hair down today,” or “What did you do today?” It was always something that made you feel special.

Mr. Mullen my eleventh-grade art teacher, everybody liked him. One day I was immersed in what I was creating. I overheard him saying, “Now what do you think Cheryl is thinking about?” I looked up and he had his head in his hand, leaning against the table. Here was a teacher asking the other students what I was thinking about, like, “Cheryl - she matters!” I had always been introspective, and this teacher actually noticed that there was deep thinking going in my mind. In that moment, he touched a little of the core of me. Cheryl Cramer © 2013 The Happiness Project for Teachers

Volunteer for a project In doing your best serving others for free, a lot of eyebrows will raise and sneers will curve many a-faces. But in the end those incredulous to what you put up with to help, no longer matter. Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s not between you and those snobs, but with whom you have given your hand to lift, and of course to God who is watching and noting it in your book. Inspired by Mother Theresa

Once you have identified a need, initiate the first move. If you sense a need, take the initiative to do something. Recruit for collaborators. Find like-minded individuals who might share your cause. Offer to help others in a school-initiated project. When others have identified a need, offer to help.

ÂŠ 2013 The Happiness Project for Teachers

Volunteer for a project

Keep your eyes and ears open to identify needs in the school. Be observant for needs. Observe to serve.

14 Teach a skill or expertise Teach someone a new skill you empower another and improve yourself. You receive more than you give.

Offer to teach someone a skill. Teach another something you know very well about. When teaching a skill, do it by demonstration. Even in teaching concepts, always engage the student. The “teaching a skill” pattern. First, the teacher, will show how to do it. Then, the student, will show the teacher how to do it. Finally, the student will now teach the new skill to another.

Teach a skill or expertise

Find a person to mentor. You can immediately spot a person with great potential. Or choose someone who has low regard for oneself. Build trust. Ask. Listen. Compliment. Validate. Let the mentee observe you in action.

I had a teacher named Mrs. Mett who polished the skills my uncle helped me develop. She taught me how to speak publicly. Mrs. Mett came into my life in about ninth grade, and she spent hours with me helping me learn how to speak, how to project myself, how to put ideas and concepts together. She believed in me, and the two things she gave me was time and encouragement. By the time I was in tenth grade, I was winning state awards and as an orator. She was very important to me as a mentor. Many years later, I became a professional speaker and it was surely with her help. Sharon Cruse

From the first day in his class, I knew he and I would get along well. He always took time to make sure we all understood what he was teaching and made the class interesting and fun. As time went on, Mr. Grundstrom and I formed a friendship. I could talk to him about everything, and he would always give me great advice. There was never a time that he was too busy to help me. I can remember times when he would help me with other classes that I was struggling with. He would also help with my person al struggles. The best memory of Mr. Grundstrom was he asked me to help him with remodeling a home he had purchased. He made me feel as I were one of his sons. I spent weekend after weekend working at his home making money and learning. It was then that I first learned how to paint. I have been painting ever since. John Lauer ÂŠ 2013 The Happiness Project for Teachers

15 Secretly serve another â&#x20AC;&#x153;You have not lived today until you have done something for someone who can never repay you.â&#x20AC;? John Bunyan

Ask for spiritual guidance or blessing for another. When you pray for someone, the beneficiary will never know. Say something nice about somebody behind his back. Opposite to backbiting. Spread positive rumor on behalf of another. Do something anonymously nice and kind. Organize a special event for another without revealing who you are. Write a letter of goodwill (thanks, praise, admiration, encouragement) in secret. Keep your identity mysterious. Never reveal yourself.

ÂŠ 2013 The Happiness Project for Teachers

Secretly serve another

Give someone a thoughtful gift. Do not make yourself known to the receiver.

To maintain the anonymity of “secret acts of service,” the stories will remain secret.

16 Random acts of kindness Carry out a random act of kindness, with no expectation of reward, safe in the knowledge that one day someone might do the same for you. Princess Diana

Clean a classroom, erase the board, arrange the desk. Help someone cross the street. Offer someone a seat.

Pick up litter in the school yard. Throw the trash. Smile at your “enemies” it will drive them crazy. Offer to pay someone’s fare, snack, food, etc. If you make a mistake, promptly apologize. Do something kind spontaneously. Etcetera…etcetera…etcetera.

Random acts of kindness

Hold the door for someone. Let someone go first in line.

I had a science teacher in high school who gave us a test that we all flunked. Instead of blaming us, he apologized! It amazed me that he took responsibility for our failing the exam. Over the next two weeks, he went over all the material more slowly and made sure we all understood it. We even had a mock test before the real test than he was about placing blame. I learned when something goes wrong, sometimes “authority” can be in error. I mean, I grew up in a household where adults were never in error, so this gave me a taste of an adult owning the problem, taking responsibility for a situation that didn’t turn out, and doing something about it. Roshael Brenna

In first grade, I met my first love. His name was Darryl Rice, and in first grade we became engaged. He even gave me an engagement ring. During recess I was playing in the sandbox, and I lost the ring! I went crying to Miss Galligan’s room, and she had another teacher take over the class so she could escort me out to the playground. We looked together in the sandbox for that ring. We never found it, but I’ll never forget how dedicated Miss Galligan was, not only to me, but to all of her students. Arlene Kaiser

I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel. Maya Angelou

Conclusion fter having read and collected many teacher stories, I have come to the conclusion that it is the acts of happiness (kindness, listening, validation, etc.), we remember of our teachers many years later. It is also true that we don’t quite remember as much about the academic subjects teachers have taught us. However, one thing is absolutely certain – we will always remember how they made us feel. Let me share one of my own “memorable teacher” moments. I was six years old when my mother first enrolled me to attend the first grade class. At the time, the enrollment policy was for children to be 8 years old ( or at least 7 ½ turning 8 by the end of the school year ) when entered into first grade. When classes opened in the school year of 1966, I had just barely turned six. So I should have not been admitted to the classroom of Mrs. Filomena Villanosa since I was two years shy of the required admission age. My first grade teacher was kind. I still remember quite vividly standing between her and my mother while overhearing their conversation of possibly just letting me join her class unofficially. She agreed to let me in her class without hesitation. Once we entered the classroom, she introduced me to everyone and had me seated in the very first row. I can only guess that it must have been because she wanted me within her line of sight at all times and probably wanted to observe me if I behaved well. After all, I was not supposed to be there. I was referred as a “visitor.” I learned to write, to sing, role play the action songs and to read in her class. I felt I belonged in her classroom although I was at least a year younger than most of my classmates. I realized later that it also meant I didn’t have to stay at home for another year and wait it out. At the time, pre-schools did not exist anywhere in the country. Three months later, Mrs. Villanosa and my mother had another conversation presumably to revisit my fate. I remember being anxious whether I could stay or leave. I had already become accustomed to the fun of school and the thought of being confined in the house was something I didn’t like anymore. From where I was seated in the classroom, I saw both of them in an animated conversation. Then I saw my teacher nod and smile at my mother. I could tell she agreed to keep me in her class. She returned to the classroom, smiled at me and left me alone to retain my spot in the first row. I knew I was no longer just visiting. I became officially part of her class. I was overjoyed. It was an act of validation of the best kind. Almost forty-seven years later, I still remember. One of the few unforgettable memories indelibly etched in my mind and heart. © 2013 The Happiness Project for Teachers

Courtesy of David P. Yap

There is another insight we can glean from these stories – it is that these acts of happiness overlap. We can listen, compliment, pat someone’s back, and validate all within a few minutes. None of these acts are completely isolated from each other. They are intertwined and often complement one another. In fact, when these acts are applied together, they produce a more lasting impression. For example, if you verbally expressed appreciation and put your grateful thoughts in writing, your action becomes even more memorable. It becomes more than just a token of your kindness. It transforms your act into a tangible treasure providing inspiration to others through the passage of time. When you hug a crying child, listen to her concerns and spend time to comfort her, these actions more than just appease her temporary frustration. It could be the singular event in that child’s life which she will remember decades from now. Indeed, it is a curious phenomenon as to how our minds sort through hundreds of memories from our seemingly insignificant interactions with each other and how the brain decides which one it will keep. These memorable events are like snapshots of time, frozen and preserved in the minds and hearts of those whom these happy gifts are bestowed. It may be a boon of goodwill in times of discouragement and disappointment. One can summon it to rescue one’s failing confidence or one may simply wish to elicit nostalgic feelings. Sometimes even the simplest memory of others may cause us to be happy again by simply recalling and reliving the shared experiences of the past. I have no doubt that if you are a good teacher, you’ve made these kinds of impact on others by now. We can make a difference without our knowledge and even without meaning to. However, how much more inspiration can you exert if you willed yourself to do more good for others? What if you purposely chose happiness? What if you acted with more conscious and thoughtful effort? How much more happiness will you be able to spread? How many more lives will you touch? I created the Happiness Project in the hope I may be able to persuade you, a teacher, to become a living, breathing, walking, all-powerful ambassador of happy feelings. It doesn’t mean you won’t ever be sad again. It only means you choose happiness whenever, wherever you possibly can by being fully engaged in the process. By intentionally choosing happiness and acting on your positive emotions, you can expand the reach of your influence and affect others for good by a hundred fold. As you make others happy, you can bask in the expansion of your own well-being. By engaging in the intentional acts of spreading happiness, we inevitably increase our own. © 2013 The Happiness Project for Teachers

“Whoever is happy will make others happy.” “The Diary of Anne Frank”

Things For Your Consideration 1

• Think about writing a “memorable teacher” moment and please eMail it to me.

• Kindly contact me for your Free Copy of the Project Kit or the 2-Min Happiness Project.

• Please send this forward to a school owner, public or private school teachers, or friend.

Happiness Pr ject

eMail: thehappinessproject@hotmail.com

Claim Your Free Copy

Minute

eMail: thehappinessproject@hotmail.com

All stories featured here were taken from these three books

ÂŠ 2013 The Happiness Project for Teachers

4/4/13 Version