Happy Magazine - Positivity Through Cancer

SHORT STORY THE CHAIR BY VICTORIA LAWLOR

YOGA FOR STRESS RELIEF HOME SEQUENCE

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HAPPY WHAT TO PACK FOR YOUR MASTECTOMY

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POSITIVITY THROUGH CANCER

JAN 2019 | FREE

Wellness from within WE ALREADY HAVE THE SECRET TO WELLNESS

HOW TO TELL YOUR CHILDREN YOU HAVE CANCER

DOMINI KEMP

On her Anti-Cancer Plan

10 GREAT LESSONS YOU CAN LEARN FROM CANCER

win an overnight break including dinner for two at ceLbridge manor hotel

THE CALM AFTER THE WILD STAY FROM

€9O

PPS

PER NIGHT

HEALING GOODNESS WHEN THE BODY NEEDS IT MOST Here in North Mayo, we’re right on the ‘Wild Atlantic Way’. But breaks at the Ice House couldn’t be more calm.

Enjoy slick , stylish rooms, amazing local food, and effortless service. Then treat yourself in Chill Spa. With ‘Wellness for Cancer’ fully trained and certified therapists, we offer soothing spa treatments tailored to suit anyone who has experienced or is currently living with cancer.

Experience natural restoration and healing with panoramic views across the River Moy.

TO BOOK, CALL O96 235OO OR VISIT THEICEHOUSE.IE 2 | Happy Magazine

THE ICE HOUSE, THE QUAY, BALLINA, CO. MAYO

editorial

Contributors

Because we can still be happy while we have cancer

H

ello and welcome to the first ever issue of Happy Magazine. My name is Holly and I am a cancer survivor. I was diagnosed with breast cancer in December 2016 and spent thirteen months going through treatment.

Having cancer has, without a doubt, changed me and changed my life. While I was going through treatment, I was sitting at home wondering why there was nothing to read in the chemo ward at my hospital. I looked around for a beautiful magazine specifically for people with cancer - something that could tell me how to cope with this time in my life, something packed full of positivity, inspiration and support. Something to help me feel that I wasn’t alone on this journey. Well, I figured, if it’s not out there, it needs to be, and maybe it’s up to me to make it...

And as soon as I got thinking about it a little more I knew I’d have to call it Happy Magazine - because we can still be happy during cancer, right? I know I wanted to be.

So, here we are - the golden moment - you with a copy of the magazine in your hands and me, welcoming you. I hope it is everything I imagined for you - a support for this time in your life, a calm voice, advice, fun, an escape - whatever you need it to be.

Please let me know what you think of our first issue and how we can improve it for the next edition. Happy reading!

Holly holly@happymagazine.ie

Happy Magazine, Lucan, Co. Dublin Happy Magazine @HappyMagIE

Gerry Hussey is a proud west of Ireland man, born and raised in the rugged and inspiring landscape of the west. When Gerry is not at home with Miriam, his wife, and his German Shepherd, Oscar, he can be found leading and building some of the world’s most successful sports and business teams. Gerry currently works with leading global corporate organisations and business teams in the areas of leadership, high performance team development and human performance and wellness. Gerry’s article on wellness in this issue is a gamechanger, find it on p22.

CLARE REED

Clare Reed is a qualified CBT therapist specialising in cancer. She was born in the UK but is Irish and lived in Dublin for 15 years.

She has worked as a CBT Therapist for a decade. Clare works with clients who are experiencing anxiety and self-esteem issues by applying CBT techniques and tools for those who are newly diagnosed with cancer, those working their way through treatment and for those who are struggling after cancer. She also helps carers cope with the anxiety and stress of looking after a loved one with cancer. Clare answers your cancer questions on p48.

NIAMH GAFFNEY

The content in this magazine is not intended to replace medical advice in any circumstance. It is important to always remember that any changes that you make to your diet, medication, cancer treatment or lifestyle should be discussed first with your medical team to ensure that they do not conflict or interrupt your specific treatment. If you have an immediate concern about your health, please contact your oncologist, GP or local emergency room.

www.happymagazine.ie

GERRY HUSSEY

@happymagirl

Editor Holly Kennedy Assistant Editor Dee Mack · Design Holly Kennedy Printing Hello Print Media & Publicity Leontia Fannin To advertise, email holly@happymagazine.ie Quarterly circulation 10,000 copies Happy Magazine is published by Happy Publications, Lucan, Co. Dublin.

Niamh Gaffney runs coaching consulting company Directionality. She was 35 and a new mum to a gorgeous 6-month old baby girl when she was diagnosed with breast cancer. In the year that followed, she dealt with surgery, fertility preservation treatment, chemotherapy, radiotherapy and then faced redundancy from her executive level role. She seriously struggled with the aftermath until coaching helped her realise that there was no going back – she needed to find her ‘new normal’. Find her article on Regaining Choice & Control on p51.

The publisher accepts no responsibility for the opinions of or claims made by contributors and advertisers.

In addition, while every care is taken to ensure the accuracy of information contained in Happy Magazine, we do not accept responsibility for any errors or matters arising from same. © Happy Publications.

Happy Magazine | 3

A SPA WITH A DIFFERENCE

NEW

The Ice House Hotel Chill Spa in Ballina, Co. Mayo offers a wide range of Cancer Wellness Treatments suitable for people undergoing treatment or recovering from cancer. Their spa brochure indicates which treatments are appropriate and their specially trained spa therapists are ready to tailor any treatment to you and your needs. Located on the banks of the River Moy, the Ice House Hotel has been designed with the river in mind. The spacious Riverside Suites have floor to ceiling views across the water. Each has a separate relaxation area as well as a private balcony so you can enjoy the best of everything inside and out. The bathrooms also have underfloor heating and a separate walk-in shower and bath - perfect for a long, relaxing soak. Stay for €90 per person sharing, per night. Visit their website, icehousehotel.ie to find out more.

We’re here to provide positive inspiration and support for your cancer journey

BEGINNINGS

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WATCH and LEARN

Plant-based Health Coach Lorna McCormack holds a monthly online class on How to Live a Low Tox Life with 10 PlantBased Remedies for your Home. In this class you will learn about essential oil combinations that you can use to clean your home, detox your skincare and make home remedies to minimise medication dependence, saving it for when it’s really needed. You can attend one of Lorna’s monthly online classes, book your own in-home class or visit Lorna’s clinic for a private 1:1 ALL FOR FREE. Visit lornamccormack.com to get started.

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We love Liezl Jane Strydom’s channel on YouTube. She posts some great recipe videos that are easy and tasty (and great to watch), meal plan, weight loss and home workout videos, morning and evening routines as well as videos about her life in Los Angeles. Liezl lives a dairyand wheat-free lifestyle so a lot of her healthy recipe ideas are mainly plantbased. She also has some great downloadable ebooks full of recipes, workouts and nutrition tips.

Just one of the videos we love is her Easy & Healthy Snack Ideas - find it online on happymagazine.ie by typing in ‘healthy snacks’ into our search bar.

NEW BEGINNINGS

JUST NATURAL

Latte blends from Pukka

JUST BALM

Just Balm is a balm suitable to treat all irritated, dry and sensitive skin conditions including eczema, dermatitis and skin rashes. The unique recipe of the Just Balm makes light work of skincare for everyday use. It is suitable for all members of the family including baby’s skin, it can be used from head to toe and is handy for grooming eyebrows, moisturising cuticles, moisturising chapped lips, dry heels, defending against split ends, shaving rash, cradle cap, nappy rash, the list goes on. All ingredients used are healthy, natural, sustainable, vegan and are suitable for all skin types including very sensitive skin. www.nianaturalbeauty.com

Pukka’s new herbal lattes couldn’t be easier to make, simply combine with your favourite dairy or plantbased milk for a smooth, delicious treat that’s perfect at any time of the day. Cacao Maca Magic is a combination of luxurious cacao powder, organic maca and ashwagandha, an adaptogen which supports the nervous system. Take a sip of this silky bliss to help you relax and unwind in the evening.

HEAL DOCUMENTARY: AN ABSOLUTE MUST HEAL is a documentary which we feel should be essential viewing after a cancer diagnosis. It’s available to rent on iTunes for €4.99 or to buy for €14.99 and we think it’s worth every penny. HEAL takes the viewer on a scientific and spiritual journey to discover that our thoughts, beliefs and emotions have a huge impact on our health and our ability to heal. Don’t worry though - there is no heartbreak here - it is uplifting and positive and we have no doubt that you will be happy you watched it afterwards. We think that you will be thinking about it long after you have seen it. HEAL shows the latest science reveals that we are not victims of unchangeable genes, nor should we buy into a scary prognosis. The fact is we have more control over our health and life than we have been taught to believe. This film will empower you with a new understanding of the miraculous nature of the human body and the extraordinary healer within us all. HEAL not only taps into the brilliant minds of leading scientists and spiritual teachers, but follows three people on actual high stakes healing journeys.

Happy Magazine | 5

TOP TEN BE INSPIRED

1

DISCOVER peace

and relaxation at the award-winning spa at the Castlemartyr Resort in Cork. Offering a wide variety of treatments to suit your individual needs, this 5-star spa experience is sure to rejuvenate your body and mind. Full day packages start at €150 and include a light lunch, or half day packages start from €65.

3 www.castlemartyrresort.ie

CELEBRATE a milestone in

your treatment plan with a special lunch at Shanahan’s on the Green.

Lunch is served on Fridays (Jan-Nov) between 12.30 and 14.30 and is a three-course set price menu of €56 per person including specialities from their well-loved a la carte evening menu. www.shanahans.ie

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FEEL

invigorated after a full day of yoga and talks on mindfulness, juicing and nutrition at a LifeCleanse Urban Retreat in South William Street, Dublin 2. With just 6 to 8 attendees, you will receive tailored, practical advice and recommendations for your specific needs and lifestyle. Multiple dates available. Cost €99 per person including lunch and refreshments. www.lifecleanse.ie

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WATCH

the cut-throat world of corporate law in Suits, a hit TV series with six seasons currently available to watch on Netflix. The focal point of the show follows talented college dropout Mike Ross (Patrick J. Adams), who initially works as a law associate for Harvey Specter (Gabriel Macht), despite never actually attending law school. The show focuses on Harvey and Mike managing to close cases while maintaining Mike’s secret. Binge-watching will be inevitable. Available now on Netflix

www.newbridgesilverware.com

VISIT

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the Firehouse Bakery in Delgany, Co. Wicklow for a morning cuppa and a treat. Their beautiful breads and cakes are both a sight and a delight for the senses. If you’re going on the weekend, get there early! www.thefirehouse.ie

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5

TREAT

yourself to a lovely morning of shopping, eating and exploring all under the one roof at Newbridge Silverware in Newbridge, Co. Kildare. Buy yourself something nice from their extensive ranges of jewellry, homeware and gifts, stop for a bite to eat in their bright and charming restaurant and then make your way through the Museum of Style Icons, upstairs.

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RELAX

SEE

the finest Norman Castle in Ireland - Trim Castle. If you are going through chemotherapy and staying away from crowded places, or if your energy is low but you’re able for a drive in the car and a short walk, a day trip to Trim Castle in Co. Meath might be just the thing for you. www.meath.ie/tourism/heritage

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at home with a new hobby.

Journaling is becoming an increasingly popular new hobby - draw, write, doodle and list your way to a greater understanding of yourself and your wellbeing.

TASTE

the delicious difference that is oat milk. If you’re thinking of swapping the milk in your tea for a plant-based alternative, oat milk is a great substitute for your morning cuppa. It also has a natural sweetness - so you can ditch the sugar too!

10 EXPERIENCE Pádraic Óg

Gallagher’s passion for using natural ingredients and the use of carefully chosen artisan food producers from Ireland at Boxty House. Try the Boxty Tasting Slate - Boxty Dumplings with Honey & Chilli, Toasted Boxty Loaf topped with St. Tolas Goats Cheese and a Tomato and Red Onion Salsa and Boxty Fries with a Rocket & Garlic Dip. www.boxtyhouse.ie

Happy Magazine | 7

BOOKS

lost in words

their lives with her simple but profound advice. Whatever your anxieties, Feel The Fear And Do It Anyway will give you the insight and tools to vastly improve your ability to handle any given situation. €9.45 at Easons

OPTION B

Sheryl Sandberg WH Allen

HANDPICKED BOOKS FOR THE CANCER JOURNEY

Everyone experiences some form of Option B. We all deal with loss: jobs lost, loves lost, lives lost. The question is not whether these things will happen but how we face them when they do. Thoughtful, honest, revealing, and warm, ‘Option B’ weaves Sandberg’s experiences coping with adversity with new findings from Adam Grant and other social scientists. €21.00 at Easons

THE SURVIVOR’S MINDSET Bernadette Bohan Newleaf

The Survivor’s Mindset provides a series of easy-to-understand strategies to help overcome the hesitancies, fears and prejudices that are so often a barrier to making personal change. Real stories from real people vividly illustrate how lifestyles can be restructured both physically and mentally to help you recover from, and indeed prevent, illness. €14.99 at Easons

NOURISH

Amber Rose, Holly Davidson and Sadie Frost Kyle Books

We get so much more out of life when we feel positive and energised and therefore it is such a shame when we find ourselves doing almost anything simply to get by. Full of the wisdom and good nourishment that helped Sadie, Holly and Amber through their own personal struggles, Nourish promises to restore you to the path of complete wellbeing. €26.59 at Easons

FEEL THE FEAR AND DO IT ANYWAY Susan Jeffers Ebury Digital

Internationally renowned author Susan Jeffers has helped millions of people overcome their fears and heal the pain in

+ THE BEST READS TO ESCAPE FOR AWHILE GAMES & PUZZLES MINDFULNESS PUZZLE BOOK Dr Gareth Moore Robinson

Puzzle-solving is a favourite relaxation technique for many, and this book features a wide range of specially selected games to provide the perfect level of challenge and reward for your brain. €11.20 at Easons

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ROMANCE

THE BEACH HUT

Veronica Henry Orion

On Everdene Sands, a row of beach huts holds the secrets of the families who own them - secrets of unrequited love, plain old-fashioned lust, childhood dreams and longforgotten hopes... €12.59 at Easons

CHILDREN’S FICTION FAMOUS FIVE COLLECTION Enid Blyton Hodder

Escape the trappings of modern life by revisiting the stories of your childhood. These three classic stories feature Julian, Dick, Anne, George and Timmy the dog during a simpler time.

€9.45 at Easons

GLOBAL CONTENT SOLUTIONS

www.vistatec.com +353 1 416 8000 | info@vistatec.com Happy Magazine | 9

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GREAT LESSONS YOU CAN LEARN FROM CANCER

By Liam Ryan

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FEATURE

Draw a line When you are diagnosed with cancer, or indeed handed any crisis in your life, the first thing you should do is draw a line. Now is not the time to go backwards into “why me” or “poor me” territory. It is too late for that now. Your life has now been divided into two very distinctive categories, life before cancer and life after cancer. There is no point in trying to spend time in the former, when you have already been told you have enrolled in the latter. Any trawl back through the “whys” and “wherefores” only takes you back into what I regard as minus territory. You can only start to take on what is in front of you when you get yourself back to zero. You simply draw a line, and there is only one direction to go from there.

Run what you see A narrow focus keeps you strong. You can only climb the part of the mountain that is under your foot. When I would run badly I used to adopt a strategy of “run what you see”. I would tell myself that all I needed to do was run the stretch of road in front of me. Just get myself over the top of the next hill, or around the next bend, and so on. If I kept doing that, the finish line would come to me rather than I run to it. I broke the run down into much smaller components to keep myself strong.

I applied exactly the same tactic to a long and difficult cancer survival and recovery. Now was not the time to worry about when I would go to a wedding, or to a football game or back to work. All I needed to focus on today was the physiotherapist was coming to see me at 3 and I was having a colonoscopy at 5. It was my job to do those two things to the very best of my ability. And that was my only job. Concentrate on the inches. They will make the mile.

Don’t EVER give up My case has become the ultimate proof that nothing is for certain. I should have died many times in 2002 and there would appear to be no logical reason why I did not. My survival was a complete jigsaw and if any piece was missing I simply would not be here today.

But one of those essential pieces was that I always kept myself in a position to survive. I never gave up. The fight became more important to me than whatever the end result could have been. If I was to go down, I was going down in the ring with my gloves on. That was the duty I imposed on myself. So I put myself on the team too and gave myself the role of being the best patient I could possibly be.

Not giving up won’t necessarily guarantee success. But you won’t succeed without it. And the right mindset will open the most unimaginable doors. My case, by itself, puts the onus on everybody coming behind me to never give up.

Medical people do great work Before I got sick I knew nothing about the medical world. It simply never came up on my radar. Now, I am embarrassed about how little I knew then. In all my time in hospital I did not meet one person who was not brilliant. They were all there because I was there. My amazing surgeon spent 12 hours in the middle of my head. For much of that time he was within millimeters of both my brain and spine. Everything was just as critical in the last hour as it was in the first. He told me at the end, the entire team was exhausted. The miraculous, fully functioning human being I am today, 15 years later, is thanks to everybody in the room that day.

“

My case has become the ultimate proof that nothing is for certain.

I should have died many times in 2002 and there would appear to be no logical reason why I did not

If I have a bad day, my design for a house doesn’t work out. If a surgeon has a bad day, somebody dies. It just doesn’t get any bigger than saving or improving people’s lives. All medical people do the ultimate work of all. If it wasn’t for people like them, there wouldn’t be people like me.

People make the world go round Cancer makes you evaluate your life sooner than you may have been expecting to. No matter what the outcome, it will prompt a look back over your life just as you would do at the point of your death. The results of this little premature evaluation may not be what you expected them to be. When I looked over my life, the major milestones that appeared above the horizon were not material possessions, career achievements or even great moments of personal happiness. And yet they had been the milestones I was directing my life towards to that point.

When I assessed the life I had lived, the only thing that really appeared were the people who had been in it. Family and friends initially, but soon just about everybody who had connected with me along the way came into view. It was only then I began to realise the value they all held. It was them I was going to miss most of all. Now I will never let myself lose sight of their value ever again. I hug people regularly these days. It’s as if I want them to know what their value is, just in case I don’t get the chance to tell them again. People are the most precious commodity of all. We are all far greater than anything we own ever will be.

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FEATURE

Perspective is the antidote to everything None of us have to look too far to find somebody worse off than we are. Perspective makes you strong. If you are bankrupt, you look at the person in the wheelchair. If you are in a wheelchair, you look at the person with depression.

If you have depression you look at the person living in the war zone. If you live in a war zone you look at the person in prison. If you are in prison you look at the person who is suicidal because they are bankrupt.

When I was diagnosed and looked as if I was about to die at the age of 40, cancer suddenly allowed me to see people I had never seen before. I saw the 3 year old who had just been diagnosed with leukemia. I saw the 17 year old who just had a horrific accident on their motorcycle. I saw the 20 year olds, all over the world, who leave home every day only to never return again.

And it wasn’t just the people who die young. I saw people who would live twice as long as me but who would never have anything like the life I had. The child soldier. The oppressed factory worker. The many people in the world whose entire lives are blighted by illness or violence or poverty. Perspective gives you perspective. It can turn a frightening negative into an extraordinary positive. If I was to die, my overriding emotion at that point was an immense gratitude for having lived so well, for so long.

That made me incredibly strong.

Tomorrow might never come We should be careful about all the things we put on the long finger of life. The chance to address them may not come at the time we have appointed. A major illness is an expert at showing us the difference between unfounded calculation and mortal reality.

A good exercise is just to tell yourself you will not be here this time tomorrow and see what comes up. What are the issues in your life that would disappoint you most if you suddenly didn’t get the opportunity to resolve them?

I suspect that most of them again will be people related.

You won’t regret that you didn’t buy that beach house you looked at 6 months ago. But you might regret that you haven’t popped down to see your mom in over a year. Or that you and your brother haven’t made up since that silly argument at Christmas. Cancer prompts you to put your right priorities, in the right order. It tells you to do it now when you know you still can. Tomorrow may never arrive.

It gives you the opportunity to have less regrets when your time eventually does come.

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Liam’s story In 2002 Liam was diagnosed with one of the worst cases of head and neck cancer ever seen. His consultant told him he expected he only had a few weeks to live. Liam refused to give up. He underwent a difficult 12 hour operation, followed by seven weeks of extensive chemoradiotherapy. He almost died in recovery from two separate bouts of bacterial meningitis and a deep vein thrombosis. He was in hospital for four months. All of that was 17 years ago! In 2012, on the 10th anniversary of his illness, Liam ran his first marathon (he has since run five more), and wrote a book. He wrote it as the book he went looking for himself 10 years earlier. A book, written by somebody ordinary, to encourage and inspire every cancer patient that will come after him.

Liam is working, running and living a full life again. His consultants are simply amazed. They have told him, 17 years on, he is one of the greatest cancer survivors in the world. He has become the living proof for everybody, that nothing is for certain.

FEATURE

We are all going to die One thing I like about cancer is it calls our bluff. For all of our advancement, most of us choose to turn a blind eye to one of the greatest certainties of all. Many people do not consider the possibility that their death will occur before the age of at least 70. And yet we read in our newspapers every day about people all over the world who die at every age from 0 to 70. Life is a lottery, we all know that.

Cancer not only forces us to see that there is an elephant in the room, it lifts him up and plonks him on our lap.

We should all just deal with the fact that we are going to die, put it away, and get on with making sure we live every day of our lives until then. When I did this, in the middle of my treatment, I gained huge strength from it. I plucked the only card cancer held over me, out of its hand. I was untouchable after that. If you are not afraid to die there is nothing left to be afraid of. It was a huge turning point in my fight. My cancer knew it was going to be dragged all the way, kicking and screaming, from there. And in a nice twist, by not being afraid to die, I lived. My death has already revealed itself to me so there will be no surprise when it comes back for real. I will not be afraid then either. And until that day comes I intend to spend every day of this amazing life I have been given savouring the wonderful part of my glass that is half full, rather than living in fear of the part that is half empty.

Don’t forget where you were Nobody should come through a life-threatening illness or any kind of a major crisis without it also having a positive impact on the remainder of their lives. Cancer takes a broom to your life and clears out a lot of clutter you previously thought was important. It also illuminates many other things you had previously taken for granted.

It shows you that they are actually the most important things of all. I didn’t appreciate all of the amazing things my two hands and ten fingers did every day until I was lying in intensive care without the use of them. And they were only the simple things like scratching my nose, brushing my teeth or lifting a cup of coffee to my lips.

Up to then I barely acknowledged I had two hands and my only concern was that my cappuccino was too cold.

Illness makes you appreciate all the amazing things your body does every day by taking them away for a while.

Now I will never let myself forget ever again. I make a space each day to remind myself that this is yet another day I was not supposed to have. I make myself see clouds in the sky, birds in the trees, people on the street. I will never let myself lose sight again of the amazing gift it is to be alive and well. I love every single day that I am still here to be a part of this wonderful planet. Life is simply

awesome when you make yourself see it properly. I now see more with one eye than I ever did before with two.

There simply has to be more It is impossible to go to the very edge of your life without wondering what happens next. Is this it?! Am I just to die and be buried to feed the worms? Or is there something more? Will I return next week as a tree, or a table or a dog?

Is there a heaven and a hell, and if so, which one has been told to prepare for my imminent arrival? The likelihood of your demise takes you to parts of your mind you rarely visit.

We can only really know the world we have so when I faced that point, I just looked at everything around me in a very practical way. I saw the earth and all its wonderful complexities of mountains and oceans and stars and volcanoes. Then I saw the sun and the moon and galaxies far away that we probably haven’t even discovered yet. And pretty soon I came to very simple, personal conclusion.

We can’t have made all this. We can barely make good coffee let alone put something like this together. There simply has to be something more. As it turns out, the more I believe in pretty much falls in with what I naturally believe to be right. Try and be a good person. Try and do the best you can. Try and do good rather than bad. Try to love everyone and everything you can. Nobody can fault those aspirations. Love and happiness seem to be the true, genuine qualities that unite all of us equally, no matter who we are.

There are so many things in this world that don’t make sense and we seem to be incapable of making sense of them here. I don’t know why children die. Or why people seem to suffer needlessly. Or why we have wars and famine and disaster. But a day must come when everything will make sense. We are far too complex and too advanced for that not to be so. In all our hearts we would want injustice and pain and violence and suffering to be gone. And love and happiness and the world as we all know it could be to prevail. But if we don’t know the beginning, why should we know the end? If I had any doubts that this is just the very early stage of a far greater journey before cancer, I certainly don’t have any now. From everything I see, I was never more certain that a day will come when everything will make perfect sense. The last will be first and the first will be last, or perhaps we will all just be wonderfully, beautifully, equal.

If you liked this article, why not take a look at Liam’s book, Cancer 4 Me 5, available through his website liamryan5cancer4.com

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ON THE COVER

TIME TO SHINE T

he start of 2013 began badly for me. I had been sick chef, food writer and author with adult whooping cough at the start of the year Domini Kemp sharES her cancer and then found a small lump in my left breast, which story and the details of her I got checked out by my GP. I was then referred to go PERSONAL Anti-Cancer Plan to the breast check clinic for triple assessment.

I went to get the results and unfortunately (but actually, fortunately!) they found two more tumours in the same breast as the small lump I had found. I was given chemo first – 6 sessions in total, one every three weeks. But I made it my mission that instead of getting “match fit” I was going to get “chemo fit”. This meant keeping up with work, exercise and going on a healthy eating binge like no other.

Back in 1998, I had a malignant melanoma, had surgery and was treated with a drug called Interferon. It was chalked up to the fact that I was born in the Bahamas, with Celtic skin in an era when no one wore sunblock (or seatbelts). I’d had numerous sunburns as a child. Pregnancy kick-started the growth of the melanoma. Skin cancer is extremely dangerous, as it can spread so quickly and people can be slow to notice they have a mole or growth that needs attention. I was lucky, but the fright made me look into the idea of staying healthier in life and looking at things that were “anti-cancer”. I read books by Dr Andrew Weil and Dr Servan Schreiber and followed advice where and when I could. I was no angel, but I was certainly aware, so when my breast cancer diagnosis came, I knew what I wanted to do.

What changes did you make to your life after your cancer diagnoses or what is your “anti-cancer plan”? For example, diet, supplements, therapies, exercise, water consumption, sleep, toxic load, stress factors, etc.

For the most part, that meant lots of green juicing, reducing carbohydrates, avoiding sugar or anything processed

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Baked beans with chorizo, egg and feta Serves 4 1 chorizo sausage, diced (200g) 2 large onions, finely chopped (300g) 4 garlic cloves, finely chopped (12g) Few sprigs of thyme or rosemary, chopped (4g) 80ml red wine vinegar (80g) 4 tbsp tomato purée (204g) 2 x 400g tins of chopped tomatoes (800g) Salt and pepper (3g) 1 x 400g tin of cannellini beans, drained and rinsed (drained weight 246g) 8 large eggs (544g) Splash of olive oil (4.2g) 200g pack of feta (approx.) (200g)

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Preheat the oven to 180°C. Sauté the chorizo in a large frying pan that can go into the oven until the chorizo is starting to caramelise. It does release lots of fat, which you can leave in there for extra unctuousness.

Add the onions and continue to sauté until they too are just starting to colour. Add the garlic, herbs, red wine vinegar, tomato purée and tomatoes.

Mix well, season and cook for another few minutes.

When everything feels well blended, take it off the heat and mix in the cannellini beans. Make eight wells or holes in the beans and crack an egg into each well.

Drizzle with a little olive oil, crumble the feta on top, season with lots of black pepper and bake for 15 minutes or so, until the eggs are just cooked.

plus drinking wheatgrass shots every morning and using turmeric, garlic and ginger as much as possible. Bone broths and miso soup became staples.

Fermented foods were introduced, and inadvertently I ended up fasting a bit during chemo.

But don’t get me wrong: I do not eat a perfect diet and still love plenty of “bad” things. Naturally, I would break out and celebrate if out with friends, but I tried to eat better 80-90% of the time. I know this wouldn’t appeal to many people, but I certainly was able to keep exercising, working and living life as normally as possible. I would be wiped out for a few days post chemo and then would slowly bring myself back up. I do believe my diet and exercise was a major contributor to my well-being and that this helped my treatment. I wanted to support my immune system and not do anything to jeopardise treatment. I was keen to see if what I did was going to make everything more effective. I believe it did.

I don’t like jogging or running, but I tried to get out every day for 30 minutes at some stage for a shuffling run. It wasn’t to get tight buns, but rather to “kill cancer”. I just wanted to fight rather than wail “why me”. This was my way and I would do it again if I had to.

I had the mastectomy after chemo; the thought of it is so much worse than the reality. I also had an immediate reconstruction. I then went through six weeks of radiation and one final operation. All in all, it took close to a year before I was well and truly done.

“

When you look at websites, you see words like “longterm survival rates” and “outcomes”. These are very hard words to read, and harder for your loved ones to hear. But I guess the magic number is to try and get to 5 years without the disease coming back. It is one step at a time, but the statistics are there: one woman in eight.

I would have been aware of what to avoid in life and what to do to “prevent” cancer in very general terms: don’t smoke, avoid getting sunburn, eat healthily, exercise, eat a balanced diet, but it does feel like a really crap lottery.

The more I am learning, the more it seems so clear and obvious that although there are a few common mistakes with the dietary advice patients are being given, I think patients want to do more to help themselves and healthy people want to do as much as possible to prevent disease. Trying to stay fit and lean help. Exercise is vital. And stress levels need to be kept in control – one of the trickiest things, I find. It’s also about making some small changes, seeing how you get on and then if it feels good, following that path further.

I don’t like jogging or running, but I tried to get out every day for 30 minutes at some stage for a shuffling run. It wasn’t to get tight buns, but rather to “kill cancer”. I just wanted to fight rather than wail “why me”

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IT’S ABOUT MAKING SMALL CHANGES, SEEING HOW YOU GET ON AND WHAT FEELS GOOD, THEN FOLLOWING THAT PATH 18 | Happy Magazine

At what point during your cancer journey did you start to make these changes?

Immediately! Partially it was to have some sort of sense of control.

But the minute I came back from the hospital after being handed a leaflet of the food pyramid, I started reading research papers - rather than personal anecdotes - and to find the cancer researchers and oncologists, who were conventional, but who also wanted their patients to look at nutrition.

How did you know what changes to make, for example, where/who did you go to for information?

There are some really interesting cancer researchers, scientists, dieticians and oncologists out there who absolutely support conventional, but who are also very interested in nutrition. Sadly, most of them happen to be in the US, Germany & UK: Dr. Colin Champ, Dr Adrienne Scheck, Professor Tom Seyfried, Professor Dominic d’Agostino, Angela Poff, Sue Wood, Professor Dawn Lemanne, Professor Valter Longo, Reiner Klement, Professor Ben Bikman, Prof Monika ReussBorst... there is some really interesting work going on.

How did you find these changes impacted on your life? Positive and negative points.

I did really well. But remember, I was going through treatment at 41 years of age, not 71 years of age. Some people deal with cancer very differently and if that works for them, that’s great too. But people need better dietary information than what’s available. We can do better.

How did your family find the changes you made to your lifestyle?

They were incredibly supportive. Especially when it came to taking time to go exercise. It can easily get relegated.

But having your family push you out the door when you are feeling guilty about taking up time for yourself, was

Eggs Benedict Serves 4

4 Portobello mushrooms (336g) 2 tbsp sherry vinegar (23g) Salt and pepper (3g) 2 ripe avocados, mashed (360g) 1 tbsp tamari (18g) 1 tsp sesame oil (4g) Few shakes of Tabasco (5g) Splash of white wine vinegar (2g) 4 eggs (228g) Furikake seasoning Preheat the oven to 180°C. Peel the mushrooms but leave them whole. Put them in a roasting tray, sprinkle with the sherry vinegar and season. Roast for 15–20 minutes, until they are soft and juicy.

Mix the mashed avocados with the tamari, sesame oil and Tabasco and set aside.

Now poach your eggs. If I was doing this in a large batch, then I would just plop them in without worrying too much about swirling the water and so on, so just get on with it.

Get a frying pan and fill it with water.

Bring it up to the boil and add the white wine vinegar, then reduce the heat so that it’s barely bubbling. Crack the eggs into the water, keeping the water simmering very gently. After 11⁄2–2 minutes, lift the eggs out of the saucepan with a slotted spoons andpat them dry with some kitchen paper. Top the warm mushrooms with the avocado cream, then the poached eggs, which is available in health food stores, good delis and Asian markets.

It’s a mix of toasted sesame seeds and seaweed and is quite delicious, especially sprinkled on avocados.

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ON THE COVER

really great. My husband really had to take over for the majority of 2013 and we are all the better for it. I owe him and my family everything. Not having support during cancer treatment is horrible and lonely. I am very lucky.

Which changes made the biggest impact on your health and wellbeing and how have you seen the benefits?

Cutting out processed carbs and other foods that will affect my blood glucose and that require a lot of insulin to be metabolised. I monitor my blood glucose now and try my best to exercise for at least 30 minutes per day, although this is often jammed into a few intensive sessions. I also monitor my weight carefully and try to stay lean. That’s hardest for me as I love all food!

What changes did you make initially but then drop along the way and why?

My wheatgrass machine broke and I was secretly delighted...

What three recommendations for lifestyle changes, big or small, would you make to someone starting on a cancer journey?

Read the latest science. Avoid listening to too many personal stories and recommendations. Listen to your body. Block out the noise and if you are doing chemo, try to do something really nice after each session. That could be going for a massage or reflexology, or even meeting up with an old friend you’ve been meaning to see for ages. Having something to look forward to during those dark hours, really helped me.

What products, food or otherwise, did you discover through your cancer journey that you have now built into your lifestyle and why?

“

We created the Alchemy Juice Company in 2013. I wanted to make food available in a casual-style setting to suit different approaches whether it was wheat-free, dairy free, low carb, vegan, paleo, keto... you name it... everyone wants to approach cancer a different way. I am very proud of it, especially our latest addition to the range: “Golden Shots” - a blend of fresh turmeric juice, fresh ginger juice and pressed lemons with flax oil and black pepper.

Read the latest science. Avoid listening to too many personal stories and recommendations.

Listen to your body. Block out the noise and if you are doing chemo, try to do something really nice after each session. That could be going for a massage or reflexology 20 | Happy Magazine

Domini Kemp is a chef, food writer and author of five cookbooks.

She runs restaurants, cafés and catering companies here in Ireland, including Joe’s, Hatch & Sons, ITSA and Feast Catering & Events.

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HAPPY10 www.theyahealthcare.com Happy Magazine | 21

WELLNESS FROM within 22 | Happy Magazine

FEATURE

Performance Psychologist Gerry Hussey says we alREADY HAVE THE SECRET TO WELLNESS we just need to know how to access it

T

here is a danger that we might think wellness is something we get by following a plan, an exercise regime or taking the advice of the latest guru. All these things are external supports that tweak and tailor but real and lasting wellness is not an external thing. The secret to our personal wellness is held and caused by nobody but ourselves. It is an internal relationship of self-discovery, awakening, encouragement and above all, compassion. The relationship we have with our inner thoughts and emotions is where wellness starts and ends. Wellness is about awakening and reconnecting with our own inner light and our inner spark. It’s a return to simplicity and to the things that allow us to shine brightest.

The power of the human spirit At our very core, before we learned to speak different languages, learned different skills, before we learned to compare ourselves to others and before we learned fear or self-judgement, we all shared and connected with the same thing: human spirit. Human spirit is by far the most powerful, most resilient, most loving, most forgiving, most creative thing on this planet and it has been given to you in full. You have had it since the day you were born. And the great news is if your heart is still beating, then you still have it. Before we had language, or jobs or cars or houses or skills, we had the gift of the human spirit. This human spirit allowed us to connect with those around us; it allowed us to form strong relationships based on love and vulnerability.

A baby captures our attention and transforms our emotions by its openness, its realness and its vulnerability. A baby doesn’t try to be perfect, or to look or speak in a certain way, it’s simply too busy being real and being human. When we are most real and most human, we are our most beautiful and our most connected.

As babies, we learned to walk using nothing but the human spirit. No 21-day plan, no fitness or lifestyle guru, no 15-point strategy. We simply saw what we wanted. We allowed the love of what we wanted to motivate and drive our actions. We placed the love of what we wanted above all else and above the fear of failure. We didn’t wait for the perfect time, we simply let our hearts fill with the love of what we wanted. When love fills your heart, bravery comes quickly after and you had the bravery to stand up.

As we learned to walk we fell, but we got back up. When we fell we didn’t give out to ourselves, we didn’t worry about what other people thought of us and we didn’t look for reasons to justify not trying again. We simply allowed the love of what we wanted to be more important than anything else. We continued to adapt and try new ways until we discovered the most important thing: balance. We discovered that balance is the starting point of everything.

We learned to take one step and then another and then another. We became so excited and so proud of each little step that we allowed that sense of pride and achievement to fuel and inspire the next step and without even knowing it, we were up and running.

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FEATURE

What are the learnings of your baby self?

• • • • • •

You have the human spirit in abundance You have always had it, it’s not something you have to earn or deserve, you either accept it or hide it The human spirit is a powerful, motivating, compassionate thing capable of achieving incredible goals It allows you to form powerful, connected, loving relationships by being present, real and vulnerable By learning to walk you proved that you are intrinsically motivated, resilient and adaptable when driven by the things you love Fuelled by each little step, you turned your inner voice into your inner coach

As we walked we discovered new things, like mirrors. If you have ever witnessed a baby discover themselves for the first time, realise that the person looking back is actually themselves, you have witnessed something special. For hours, days and weeks, the baby will look in the mirror and connect with themselves. If you have seen this happen you will know it’s a relationship based on excitement, wonder, amazement, curiosity, laughter, pride. So before you go chasing the secret of wellness, ask yourself what was it that allowed your baby self to be full of life, so resilient and to learn and adapt so quickly?

Where to start 1. Lots of sleep, eight to 10 hours every night.

2. Simple, wholesome food and just enough of it.

Also essential: 3. A baby plays a lot: undirected fun and self-expression.

4. A baby laughs a lot: 200 or 300 times a day.

5. A baby feels deeply loved.

Which of these five do you have in abundance? Which are you lacking? That’s the answer right there. Have you eaten or drank something in the last few days that you wouldn’t give to a baby? Are you getting enough sleep? Are you laughing and playing enough? Do you feel deeply loved by yourself? Even if a baby is given good food and good sleep but deprived of play, laughter and love, how do you think they would develop? Is that how you are developing?

Each and every one of us once looked in a mirror and saw wonder, excitement and pride. Is that what you see now? When was the last time you looked in the mirror and the only emotion you felt was pride and love? What and who changed this? What if the foundation of wellness is the relationship you have with yourself?

24 | Happy Magazine

Thoughts, emotions and beliefs The beliefs, thoughts and emotions we hold internally are the driving force not just behind our actions but are at the very centre of our wellness or sickness. The emotions we hold change us at every level. Physically and chemically, our thoughts and emotions are driving our wellness and our illness by flooding our systems with chemicals and neurotransmitters like cortisol, serotonin and dopamine.

While very helpful in small doses, these chemicals and neurotransmitters become corrosive and destructive if not regulated. If we live a life where we allow ourselves to be constantly activated and busy, hold emotions of fear or attack, we are eating ourselves up.

We are not built for this constant activation. We are built to be still and to be present, to be alive. When we breathe, it is important that we pause at the start and end of each breath. Pausing gives rhythm, depth and flow. If we don’t pause when breathing, we either suffocate or hyperventilate.

If you are not regularly pausing in life, you are either hyperventilating or suffocating. As a human being, what is it that you are actually being?

Exercise regimes that constantly push us to our limits are often expressions of inner anger and an inner belief that we need to be punished. Diets and nutritional plans that deprive us and teach us that food is the enemy are often based on inner fear or a feeling that our body needs or deserves to be deprived or starved. We can take diet and exercise to an unhealthy extreme.

Your inner self Health and wellness has nothing to do with starvation, deprivation or constantly pushing ourselves to the limits – these things are more to do with inner fear, anger, guilt or shame. While food and exercise are an important part of wellness, so is balance. We can’t engage in diets or exercise routines that are simply another (socially acceptable) way of expressing an internal destructive emotion. If we find that we have a tendency to be emotionally angry or fearful, developing an exercise or eating pattern that allows and increases these negative emotions is simply adding to our ill health. A healthy body in the absence of a healthy mind and a healthy spirit is like painting a wall when the bricks of the wall are crumbling.

Sometimes we need to climb mountains; yes, climb big scary mountains and feel the exhilaration. Sometimes we need to be still and silent and admire its beauty from afar.

There are not enough mountains or triathlons on this planet to satisfy an angry human spirit that’s terrified of standing still.

Facing your fears Ultimately our lives go in the direction of the stories we tell ourselves, or more importantly, in the directions of the stories we choose to believe. What are the stories you

FEATURE

are telling yourself right now? Are they imprisoning or positioning you? What is the fear or anger you hold that is keeping you unwell?

The truth is, and I have learned this from years of running away and trying to mask the real issues, if the relationship you have with yourself is an unhealthy one, then no 21-day plan is going to fix it, no green juice can counteract the acidity of a toxic self-image, and no superfood is going to counteract the self that’s intent on eating itself up with anger, fear or guilt.

You cannot outrun the things that are in your head and in your heart. Compassion is the ultimate green juice and love is the ultimate superfood. Our world does not need more training plans or more fitness regimes. Real healing and health is not about more drive or determination.

It’s about compassion and forgiveness. Our inner world especially needs it. Our external world is a reflection of our internal world and our external relationships become reflections of the relationship we have with our inner self.

When we can love and forgive ourselves, we can love and forgive others.

We are 3D printers. We externally project and manifest the things we think about and the emotions we hold. Our world will not be healed by constant transformation; it will be healed by returning to our source, by reconnecting with our inner spark and reigniting our human spirit.

Our world is craving simplicity and love. We all have a responsibility to our inner self, our baby self. We have a responsibility to care for and protect our baby self and become an expression of its fullest potential.

The real definition of success, of a life well lived, is when you come face to face with your baby self: will they be proud of the person they became? Are you proud of you? Are you living a life you are proud of and are you living a life that represents the very best of you? If you deeply loved and cared for your baby self, would you speak to yourself the way you do? Would you work the way you work, eat the way you eat and live the way you live?

If you wanted to make your baby self proud, what changes would you make? If you aren’t already making these changes, what is holding you back? What is the belief you hold about yourself that is keeping you in the place you are? What are the beliefs you hold about yourself that are keeping you in a job you don’t like/a relationship that doesn’t make you happy?

Changing our inner beliefs, opening and awakening our inner self is the key to a healthy lifestyle. Remember, lifestyle is made up of two very important words: life and style. Believe it or not, our life expectancy is 900 months.

We sleep 300, leaving 600. Life is short. Style is the other word. Right now, are you living your 900 months in a style that makes you proud?

Our inner relationship is the key to our health. Go rediscover, reawaken your inner, beautiful self, because love and humanity are the keys to the kingdom of wellness.

“

if the relationship you have with yourself is an unhealthy one, then no 21-day plan is going to fix it, no green juice can counteract the acidity of a toxic self-image

This article first appeared in the July/August 2017 issue of Irish Country Magazine. Re-published here with permission from the author, Gerry Hussey.

Happy Magazine | 25

FEATURE

I

am a breast cancer survivor and after coming out the other side, I felt I wanted to give something back, what that was I didn’t really know. After much thought, I decided to write an article on “How to tell your children you have cancer”, based on my own experience of when I had to tell my children. People who find themselves in a similar situation to mine, may be able to take something away from my journey, which may help them as they begin theirs.

Being told you have cancer throws you into a world that you never thought you would have to be in. The life that you and your family have known up to now is gone and it will never be the same. The emotional rollercoaster cancer journey has begun and it’s a long and rough ride for all.

After the initial diagnosis shock sinks in and you are faced with your own mortality, you suddenly realise “how am I going to tell my kids?” I found myself in that situation in July 2016. I went for a routine mammogram, had no lumps or bumps and was diagnosed with DCIS breast cancer, which is precancer stage. In my case I required a mastectomy and I was told that I may need chemotherapy or radiation therapy down the road. I sat there in front of my consultant, thinking he’s got it wrong and must be talking to someone else, even though there was no one else in the room except the nurse. After being in the hospital for five hours that day, having lots of biopsies, I drove home in a daze. A week later, the biopsy results confirmed that I had cancer. The next step was to see if it had spread. I have two girls, Sophie, 11 at the time and Sarah was 9, how was I going to tell them what was going on when I couldn’t get my head around it myself? The thing is, I didn’t at first. My advice to anyone having to break this awful news to children is take a breath yourself first. Take time for yourself to get over the shock and in doing that you will be stronger for them, even though deep inside you are falling apart. They feed off your emotions so telling them before you have time to digest everything and get more facts and information from the doctors, I believe will make it harder for them and you.

26 | Happy Magazine

HOW TO

TELL YOUR CHILDREN YOU HAVE CANCER

Cora’s Story

“ FEATURE

Four weeks after diagnosis, we had a family wedding; my girls were so looking forward to it as was the rest of the family. My husband and I made the decision not to tell anyone that I had been diagnosed until after the wedding. Looking back it was the best thing we did but hard at the same time.

Those four weeks gave me a chance to think through how I was going to tell the girls. Even though we had decided we wanted to tell them what was going on, we still wondered if we were doing the right thing and maybe we would upset them too much. We met with the surgeon over the next few days and got his view from the medical side of things.

He told me to be honest with them and not just say “Mum is sick”. “Sick” to them implies a cold or tummy bug. If you are not honest and they find out from another child in the school yard or playground, then you open up a bigger issue for them. Now they start thinking that you have lied to them and what else is she not telling us, this will make them even more insecure.

I did some internet research on how people had approached the subject in the past, and what facilities or support groups were out there to help children come to terms with a cancer diagnosis.

The hospital had given me a small booklet called “Mummy’s Lump” which goes through in picture format, the story of a family where Mum is diagnosed with breast cancer and the journey she has to take. Initially looking through the booklet, I thought this is way too basic for my 11 year old and this won’t help, but I was wrong. Kids are all about visualisation and it wasn’t the few words that were on the page that helped, it was the pictures – the Mum in hospital being cared for by the nurse, the Mum with the bald head but still putting on her makeup, the grandparents and other family members helping them with school work and doing fun things when Mum wasn’t able and the passing of the seasons showing them that the cancer journey is a long process. I would highly recommend it and Sophie told me afterwards that it really helped her in understanding the journey we were about to take.

A few days after the wedding was the day we decided we were going to tell them as I was going into hospital to have nodes removed. My husband

I told them straight out that I had breast cancer. Sarah began to cry and ran out of the room. Sophie asked lots of questions about the surgery, medical and emotionaltype questions, which I answered as truthfully as I could took the morning off work so we could tell them together. At this stage, I didn’t know if the cancer had spread, if I was going to die because of it and nothing was certain. I could only go on what the surgeon had said. Anyone who hears the words from someone “I have cancer” is thrown into an emotional orbit and assumes the worst, that you are going to die. We sat them down and I began to explain what the doctors had found.

I brought the explanation down to their level so they could understand what was going on and we went through the “Mummy’s Lump” booklet.

I told them straight out that I had breast cancer. Sarah began to cry and ran out of the room. Sophie asked lots of questions about the surgery, medical and emotional-type questions, which I answered as truthfully as I could without scaring her. Sarah came back and asked me, “Mummy are you going to die?” I had to be truthful and told her that I wasn’t planning on going anywhere and that the doctors and nurses were going to do everything that they could to help me. Even though over the next few days and weeks, we would ask her how her mind was, was she feeling ok, did she want to ask questions, the answer was “No, I’m fine”. This was a sign to us to keep an eye on things going forward.

At this point, we told their teachers as well about my diagnosis and what was going to be coming along in the weeks and possibly months ahead. Children deal with cancer news in different ways and sometimes it can affect their homework, they can become withdrawn or can act up. The teachers were great on keeping an eye on them every day and agreed to let us know if there were any upsets or behavioural changes. We also talked to them about telling their friends. From our point of view, it was perfectly fine if they wanted to do that

to help them through. They were both adamant at the start that they did not want anyone knowing what was going on and we told them that was ok. However over the months, little by little, they told a few close friends.

One of Sarah’s friends understood very well what she was going through as her mum was going through the same thing but two months ahead of me. It was great for them to be able to confide in friends how they were feeling and what was going on.

The day for the surgery came, we said our goodbyes as they went to school and I went to the hospital. We reassured them that I would be fine and promised that they could visit the day after my surgery which they did. One day, Sarah asked me could she see the drains coming out from my wounds. I asked her if she was sure and she said yes, it was her way of getting involved.

So at home she helped me empty my drains, not physically due to infection risk but she noted the fluid volume for the daily hospital phone call. To make it fun for her, both she and I gave the drains names – Christian and Arthur. So she would often ask, “How are Christian and Arthur doing?” It was her way of dealing with what was going on and it worked for her. Sophie decided she would leave us to it, and that was her way of dealing with it!

The recovery continued with lots of trips to the hospital due to having a total of five seromas, I was one of the unlucky ones. It was important for the girls to come with me to the hospital when they could. I explained to them why I was going there and they accepted that this was part of the recovery journey. Hospital wasn’t a scary place as this was where the doctors were helping Mum get better.

The more we visited, the more they

Happy Magazine | 27

FEATURE

“

became comfortable with the place.

Plus Granda was always on hand to bring them to the hospital cafeteria for ice cream!

The next bombshell fell on us in October when I was told that I was going to need chemotherapy. Now I was going to lose my hair, how were the girls going to react to that? I was told 10 days after my first day of chemotherapy, my hair would begin to fall out, it was inevitable and sure enough, the timeline was spot on. However, I made the decision that I was going to get my head shaved before it started falling out in clumps. The last thing I wanted for them and for myself was to start seeing that happen. So I arranged an appointment with the wig people, who shaved my head and helped me adjust to life wearing a wig.

Afterwards, I went to collect the girls from school with the wig on. They didn’t even notice, they thought I had just gone to the hairdressers that morning. Relief, if they passed it, then it must look natural.

The chemotherapy was tough but you are on the rollercoaster and you have to get through it. I explained to them what was going to happen. There would be days that I wouldn’t be able to wave them off to school but instead they used to come to the bedroom to say goodbye.

They accepted that I would be tired, wouldn’t be able to do a lot of activities with them or fun stuff, but this was only a temporary thing. The big thing for them was that they did not want to see me walking around the house with no hair, especially my eldest. She felt I wouldn’t be her Mum if she saw me like that.

I respected that and made sure I always had the wig on or wore a hat/ scarf. I felt in time that this would change but it didn’t for a long time.

The chemotherapy was tough but you are on the rollercoaster and you have to get through it. I explained to them what was going to happen 28 | Happy Magazine

Even when all the chemo was over and my hair began to grow, she still didn’t want to see it. So we continued on until one day I showed her a picture of a woman with a very tight haircut and said that’s what it looks like underneath my wig. She agreed to look, was very apprehensive but was delighted when she saw it. So from my experience, I would recommend to go with what they want and ask them what is comfortable for them. You have to remember that they have been thrown into this journey too and their world has shattered around them. I never went out without my wig which was purely my personal choice. I had read that some people had encountered in the past, people coming up to them when they were out with their kids and were asked, “How long have you left?”

Not sure how I would react to that one. We had enough going on, without encountering that scenario.

The hospital I was attending had a very good website and videos of the Breast Unit and the Oncology Dept. I went through the videos first before I showed them to the girls. They could see my doctors and the special care nurses talking about the treatments.

Now they had faces to the names which again are back to visualisation. They were able to see the chemotherapy ward, where I was possibly going to sit. Now it wasn’t so scary as they knew

when I said I was going for chemo, they knew exactly where I was going to be. It helped settle their anxiety and uneasiness.

When I was almost finished my chemotherapy, Sarah began to suffer from anxiety attacks, which was a delayed reaction to everything that was going on with me. She feared that if she left my side, I was going to die and she would not see me again.

Over the next few months, by reassuring her that I was ok, that I was being honest with her on everything and by keeping her days in a routine with activities, she came out the other side. She will talk more about it now than before. I don’t constantly bring up my diagnosis with her but the odd time she will mention something about it, we talk it through.

They had to grow up quickly when they were given my diagnosis and all that went with it. It has made them stronger and closer as they were there for each other on the bad days. It has made them more empathetic and sensitive to other people’s needs and they have become the confidante for friends as their loved one goes through the cancer journey. We don’t sweat the little things anymore and we enjoy every day that comes along together.

Thank you so much Cora for sharing your story with us.

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WHAT TO PACK for a mastectomy Happy Magazine Reader Bríd O’Connor from County Kerry has contributed the following piece on what to pack in your hospital bag for a mastectomy

I

had a bilateral mastectomy in October last year. As with all operations, they are tailored specifically to your individual needs and each one of us will have a different experience, which your wonderful medical team will guide you safely through. After my experience, I wanted to contribute something to Happy Magazine and share some helpful, non-medical, practical tips and tricks for anyone who is preparing for an upcoming mastectomy surgery of their own.

What to pack for a mastectomy Button-up pyjamas

After surgery, your arm mobility will be limited, so button-up pyjamas are essential. Your surgeon and nurses will be monitoring and checking your surgery wound for infection every couple of hours, especially in the first few days, so having an easily removable top is therefore best. A comfortable, light fabric is key, you don’t want to overheat or sweat profusely close to your surgical site. I’d recommend a cotton or soft jersey style and would give any woolly, silk or fluffy PJ’s a wide berth. If you find some nightwear that have pockets, this is a bonus, as they can be a great asset in helping carry 30 | Happy Magazine

your Pico dressing, pain barrels or drains (more on that below).

Slippers/slip-on shoes

I don’t trust slippers, even the first four letters should be a clue as to why I feel they’re a hazard. What I decided to bring was a pair of soft sprung, Skecher-like shoes that I bought in Dunnes for €10.00 (similar are also available in Penneys). I found they gave me more balance and a better sense of security on days I wanted to wander around the wards or go for a short walk to the shop. No laces and a pliable heel meant I could wiggle my ankle into position without having to bend or use my hands. After the operation, you will be unsteady on your feet, so if you do bring slippers, ensure the soles are robust and solid.

Socks (fluffy, thermal, warm)

You will have to wear the very glamorous compression socks in hospital until you’re being discharged, so I packed several pairs of thermal socks to wear over to keep my toes toasty.

Dressing gown

I bought a short, light waffle-style dressing gown. It had two pockets in the front – another bonus as the drains fit neatly into them. I do love my fluffy dressing gown but the last thing you

FEATURE need is a heavier gown, weighing down your already tender shoulders and body (I layered up with a soft zip-up fleece on days there was a chill).

Wash bag

A large sponge and face cloth, shower gel, toothpaste and toothbrush, ear plugs, hair brush (I didn’t need one, as I am post-chemo and still resemble a POW), dry shampoo if you still have your locks, you will be unable to wash your hair, as your arm mobility will be limited. A nice cleanser, moisturiser/ face oil. I also packed a face mist, hand and body cream and a good lip balm. Post-surgery, your skin will be dehydrated and dry so pack yourself a few nice treats, I found applying the lotions and potions had a lovely holistic and therapeutic effect.

Electric toothbrush

This will save your arms having to do most of the work.

Purse of coins

My mom gave me a money bag of €2.00/€1.00 coins. They were so handy for when the shop trolley came to visit each day (Mammies, they’re mighty! We may be adults but in their eyes we’re still their child, let them do, if you’re lucky to still have them, whatever they can for you, it benefits everyone).

Drain solutions

After surgery you will have drains, pain barrels and a Pico dressing attached to you. They will be your best friends, as they keep the pain at bay, but they can be awkward and hinder your mobility.

The nurse will give you two pins and plastic bags to clip the lot in, however, I packed two lanyards and hooked my drains from them instead (lanyards hang low over the tummy, it was ideal for me as they didn’t interfere with the site of my surgery but if you’re having a diep flap surgery you can get Drain Dollies that are light, over-theshoulder bags to keep your drains in.

As previously mentioned, pockets in PJ’s and dressing gowns are a bonus here too.

Entertainment

Netflix on your phone, laptop/tablet or portable DVD player, and headphones.

A fully-charged Kindle, a puzzle book, magazines… anything that will occupy your day. I brought a good few books,

“

but only read one, my brain and body were too tired and fuzzy. I managed to read The importance of being Ashling,

by Emer McLysaght and Sarah Breen – it was light-hearted, funny and I skitted my way through it, exactly the type of book I needed and would recommend for post-recovery.

if you’re having a diep flap surgery you can Extra-long phone charger get Drain This is a MUST, reaching and Dollies stretching is out of the question. The long lead will save you over-extending - light, over-the- or accidentally reaching over for your phone unnecessarily. The phone is a shoulder great gadget to have but it’s a doublebags FOR edged sword, lovely for the supportive your DRAINS messages and calls but self-care here is very important. You need to rest and recuperate, nobody expects an instant reply, they are just letting you know they are thinking of you. Your significant other will be inundated, and like a good press secretary, they will field most of the enquiries and important calls for you.

Jen’s Friends – Free Mastectomy Pillows

A UK-based non-profit project run by three friends, Jen, Joolz and Alison. They provide free pillows in beautiful bright colours that provide great comfort and protection during your recovery period. The pillow is designed to be placed under the arm easing pain from your surgical incision and helping to reduce any swelling. They also act as a wonderful cushioning barrier between you and the dreaded seatbelt in the car for your journey home. Find them on Facebook or email jensfriends@hotmail.com

My secret power

As a history teacher, I love autobiographies. In Nelson Mandela’s Long Walk To Freedom, in which he reflects on his incarceration on Robben Island, he noted that, in order to survive mentally he would recite the poem Invictus by William Earnest Henley daily to inspire and uplift himself and his fellow inmates.

It would give him the strength to stand, when all he wanted to do was lay down. I remembered to bring this poem with me in my hospital bag, so when I felt deflated, I too read Invictus. The poem became part of my morning and evening mantra and for me, the most valuable item in my hospital kit. Composed by Henley during his isolation as a consequence

of early, life-threatening battles with tuberculosis; while he recovered in hospital, the word Invictus translates from Latin as Unconquered. On days which were difficult, I would reiterate the poem tirelessly. I gained enormous strength from it. It reaffirmed and instilled that I too was undefeated and thankful for whatever gods may be for my unconquerable soul. Your medical team will look after your body but you’re the captain of your own soul.

Find a secret power, individual to your needs, something that reaffirms to you the belief that you too are, Unbowed, Unconquerable and Undefeated!

For visiting kids

For any women with children, I knew this week would be the longest and loneliness week of my life. I reminded myself daily that this was only temporary, and the surgery was the necessary evil to secure my future with them. My wonderful husband played a blinder and kept the show on the road.

He would Facetime me every morning before the school run and each evening before their bedtime. This hurt more than the surgery, but it focused me on getting strong and recovered, so I could get back home to them well.

When they visited me on the first weekend after surgery, I had packed a few surprises in my case for them.

This proved to be a big hit but also a great diversionary tactic. They were so delighted and distracted, their focus was transferred off me and the clinical hospital environment and re-diverted onto their new shiny gadgets.

Other suggestions

A post-mastectomy bra (speak to your Breast Care Nurse about what is most appropriate), drinks (bottles of water, cordial, herbal tea bags) and snacks.

Finally, good luck… You’ve got this!

Bríd O’Connor lives in Kerry with her husband Kevin and their two children.

She was diagnosed on 5 February 2018 at age 40 with Her 2 Triple Positive breast cancer. She has had two lumpectomies, 6 rounds of chemotherapy and is currently recovering from a bilateral mastectomy with reconstruction. She will continue to receive Herceptin up until the end of this summer. Bríd is surrounded by warrior women – her mom, sister, aunts and cousins are all battling breast cancer at various stages too.

Thank you so much Bríd for sharing this with us and we wish you a speedy recovery.

Happy Magazine | 31

ALL ABOUT BROWS Microblading is a type of semi-permanent eyebrow make-up that is becoming increasingly popular for women who are about to go through chemotherapy or for women who have completed treatment and want to restore their eyebrows quickly. It is a technique of using a tool with a blade to make tiny, life-like hair strokes with pigment that lands in the upper layers of skin, locking in colour for beautiful brows. People are often afraid there will be pain, but this is very minimal, and although not usually needed, most salons have special numbing creams which can be applied prior to treatment and the pain really isn’t much worse than a plucking sensation. Most salons offering this treatment have a price that includes a top-up to get the brows to a semi-permanent state, which can cost anything up to €480 paid in instalments. Browtique in Co Cork is run by registered nurse Olive O’Sullivan and she sees many women at the start of their cancer journey for her brow treatments. Find her online at browtiquecork.com.

NATURAL BEAUTY

1

WATCH and LEARN

There are some great hair styling videos by a girl called Sarah H on YouTube for styling very short hair. Her videos may be able to give you lots of ideas for what to do with your own very short hair once it begins to grow back after your treatment.

Sarah H has her hair cut into a very short pixie cut and it’s very neat and easy to manage. If she shows any particular hair products in her videos, she links them in the video details so that you can find them easily for yourself online or on the high street. Sarah H also has videos on styling very short hair for special occasions such as weddings or to suit evening wear. You can check out her videos on YouTube or via happymagazine.ie.

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Have you been following Georgie Crawford on Instagram?

Georgie works for the 98fm radio station here in Ireland and went through treatment for breast cancer last year. Georgie shone a light on the young woman’s experience of breast cancer in Ireland on social media and encouraged all women to check their breasts on a regular basis. She was also the Brand Ambassador for the Boots Feel Like You Again cancer campaign. During her journey, Georgie shared a video on her Instagram talking about her hair turbans which she had been doing herself at home with old scarves. She made them look so effortlessly chic - you can check the video out on happymagazine.ie.

NATURAL BEAUTY

THE RAVEN APP

All women know the power of getting a great blow-dry or manicure, right? It’s a sure-fire way to give yourself a boost when you’re feeling out of sorts. Now you don’t even have to leave the house (or your hospital bed) to get your locks tamed or those nails painted. The Raven App brings beauty services to wherever you are – at home, in the office, in a hotel or even in hospital. This smart business was created by Trudy Hayes – a woman who is no stranger to serious illness or hospitals. You can download the app from the Android or iTunes App Store.

Natural Shampoo and Conditioner The Handmade Soap Company is an Irish brand which we first noticed in Avoca. We were very impressed with their hand lotion which is perfect for dry skin during the winter. Now they also have a Shampoo and Conditioner which make great options to switch to if you’re moving to more natural, non-toxic products.

Neither the shampoo or conditioner contain parabens or phthalates – so no research needed here.

UPCOMING LOOK GOOD FEEL BETTER WORKSHOPS Look Good Feel Better (LGFB) is a charity fundraising free service for women experiencing the visible side effects of cancer. They are a non-medical and brandneutral support service who provide free workshops giving practical advice to women all over the world.

The beauty experts are dedicated to improving the wellbeing and confidence of women going through cancer treatment. So far they have helped nearly 10,000 patients in Ireland, with thanks also to the brands from the beauty and fragrance industry who help them achieve this, as well as other organisations and of course, the many volunteer beauty advisors and fundraisers. The 2-hour workshops are a positive pick-me-up for those undergoing cancer treatment and help boost self-esteem.

They are both fun and informative, giving patients something to look forward to at their next visit to the hospital. The Look Good Feel Better workshops are held monthly, depending on each hospital’s requirements. A 12-step skincare and make-up regime is taught and at the end a substantial gift bag of products are donated to each patient. If you are interested in attending an upcoming workshop, speak to your oncologist nurse or Daffodil Centre at the hospital you attend in order to arrange it.

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LOOKING AFTER YOUR

NAILS DURING CHEMO

Apart from losing your hair, another wonderful side effect of chemotherapy is damaged nails.

Nails are after all quickly dividing cells, just like hair. They can become discoloured, brittle, can lift, turn yellow, develop beaus lines, which are dark lines that run across your nails, there can be indentations and they can also come off completely.

I had an absolute nightmare with gel nails myself, and should have known better. Even though I asked my oncologist, and he was alright with my gel manicures, I would have removed them if I’d known then, what I know now! I was a loyal fan of gel nails for years; I didn’t really fancy trying to remove them after being diagnosed as I knew my nails would be really damaged. I decided to chance it, and kept them on all through chemo.

My chemo was Adryiamycin, followed by Taxol which are both wellknown nail baddies! I thought I got away with it, as they felt fine and looked normal throughout chemo, that was, until about two weeks after my last Taxol when my nails completely lifted and were infected and brittle, and I had the added problem of removing the artificial nails!

I had to go on a course of antibiotics and it was a bit of a disaster to say the least. As we all know chemo is very strong stuff, and I found out the hard way, that it’s still in your system for quite a while after you have your last infusion.

Needless to say, I would STRONGLY recommend removing false nails!!!

Chemotherapies that can cause damage to nails are: 34 | Happy Magazine

Little Ondine polishes are non-toxic, peel-off polishes. Find them in Holland & Barrett •

Taxanes (Taxol which I was on, Taxotere, Docetaxel) • Doxorubicin (Adriamycin) • 5-fluorouracil (5Fu) • Bleomycin Although there isn’t much you can do to stop chemo killing rapidly dividing cells, some of the effects can be reversible, such as nail lifting. There are things that you can do to ensure that your nails look as good as they can during chemo…

• Cut your nails short, they are easier to manage and problems won’t look as bad with short nails.

• As there is a lymphoedema risk if you have had any lymph nodes removed, avoid cutting your cuticles and instead, gently push your cuticles back using a cuticle remover cream instead, to avoid any cuts or abrasions.

• Use hand and nail creams, massage into your nails and skin around your nails, as this will also be dry and brittle and the cream will help prevent hangnails and splitting.

• If you continue to get professional manicures done, it is a good idea to bring your own file and buffer and ask the therapist not to use anything sharp and as discussed above, avoid cutting cuticles.

• Avoid fungal infections of your nail bed by always using gloves if your hands are going to be in water for a prolonged period, as water can soften nails and make them more susceptable to infections.

•

As a lot of varnishes and varnish removers are quite toxic, there are acetone-free removers and water-based nail varnishes available.

Just like cold capping for hair, there is evidence that freezing your nails can stop nail loss, and I spoke to some women online who felt that icing their fingernails and toenails during chemo infusions prevented nail problems, they seemed to have ice pack like gloves that they wore for an hour and a half before chemo, and until an hour after the infusion ended, and they often changed to a fresh pair half way through.

This would be hard to do in most chemo centres in Ireland I feel, as there definitely wasn’t a freezer in my centre, and you would have to find a way to bring and keep ice if it’s not offered, short of buying a small freezer to bring to your infusion centre or maybe bringing a bag of ice in a freezer bag, and pouring it down a sink as it melts, I can’t really think of another way to do it.

It seems to be very common in infusion centres in America and some other countries, but none of the nurses in my centre knew about it, and it definitely wasn’t offered.

Dark nail varnish will also help prevent sun damage during chemo.

One way or another, remember these nail problems are temporary, and they will recover, however, if you experience more severe changes or are concerned about your nails, you may like to speak with your medical oncologist or breast care nurse.

“

I HAD AN ABSOLUTE NIGHTMARE WITH GEL NAILS AND SHOULD HAVE KNOWN BETTER

Elfreda’s story In June of 2017, Elfreda found out she had breast cancer, it was a terrible shock but she faced it head on. She completed chemo, radiation and just recently finished receiving the drug Herceptin. Elfreda is a professionally trained make-up artist and beauty therapist, she has vast experience in makeup and beauty and broadened and refined her skills working in salons in Dublin and London.

She has worked as a make-up artist for well known brands, most recently, Georgio Armani, and also works freelance, taking part in shoots, weddings and other special occasions. Her passion for all things make-up and beauty-related, and love of helping people feel good about themselves, has her very excited to be able to share her knowledge with the readers of Happy Magazine.

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FACIALS FOR SENSITIVE SKIN

WELLNESS WARRIOR

1

WATCH and LEARN

Yoga never fails to make us feel better here at Happy Magazine. We love to roll out our mat, ‘cast’ a little bit of Yoga With Adriene using Google Chromecast from the laptop to the TV and away we go… It always feels good to stretch out all the limbs and practice some deep breathing. Don’t worry about getting every posture perfect – just find what feels good for you and do that…

If you’re a little yoga-obsessed (like us), how about giving her complete 30 days of yoga programme a try? Type in ‘Yoga With Adriene’ in the search bar on happymagazine.ie and view our favourites of Adriene’s yoga videos for a cancer experience.

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Once cancer treatment starts taking a toll on your skin, you may start thinking about treating yourself to a lovely facial. The question is though, where can you go that uses natural, organic skincare products? Virginie Claire’s Beauty Centre specialises in facial treatments which are tailor-made to their client’s skin requirements. If you are experiencing skin problems or looking for anti-aging or resurfacing treatments to regenerate and erase fine lines, their therapists will give expert advice and effective results. Other treatments they are renowned for include tints, brows, waxing, diathermy and IPL to name a few.

Many people going through cancer attend their centre for skincare and beauty treatments – Virginie Claire’s has built an esteemed reputation in the natural beauty world and the word is out. If you’re in need of a little TLC, Virginie Claire’s is the place to go. We know you won’t be disappointed.

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If you liked our wellness article by Performance Psychologist Gerry Hussey on pages 22-25, you may also enjoy this video of him speaking at a recent event in Ireland where he spoke about healing trauma – how trauma can show up in our mind, body and spirit and, how to release it. He described trauma as something of “high emotion that we experienced that was completely outside of what we expected”. The talk is relevant for anyone who has experienced a trauma in their lives, whether a car accident, form of abuse, death of a loved one, suicide or other trauma, including a cancer diagnosis. Find it on happymagazine.ie.

WELLNESS WARRIOR

fashion with function Product switch: Hand soap What hand soap do you currently use in your home? Do you know what’s in it? Is it paraben- and phthalate-free?

An easy product switch to make in your home is from your regular hand soap to this botanical wash from Jason. It gently cleanses and safely nourishes your skin with Vitamin E and ProVitamin B5. It hydrates with Natural Aloe Vera and contains no Parabens, Sodium Lauryl/Laureth Sulfates or Phthalates.

Find it in your local health store.

INGA Wellbeing men’s and women’s clothing brings comfort, confidence and dignity throughout cancer treatment. It’s the perfect fusion of fashion with function - beautifully soft, and designed to look like ‘normal’ home clothes, they are adapted to accommodate all the realities of medical treatment and examination, releasing those wearing them from the hospital gown. Discreet snap-taped seams and inner pockets provide easy access to IV lines, drains, monitors, catheters and more.

The tops, trousers and dresses can be worn as nightwear, or paired with your own tops, trousers or scarves to make the perfect daytime clothing, empowering those undergoing treatment to see themselves, and be seen by others as a person; not just a patient. Available to purchase for longer term treatments, or to rent for short term hospitalisations. Find out more at ingawellbeing.com.

A ZINGY GREEN JOURNAL RIPE FOR HEALTH GOALS We love all things ‘health and wellbeing’ here at Happy Magazine, so when this Wellness Journal popped up in our social media feed, we couldn’t resist clicking to find out more. And we love it. This zingy green journal is specifically designed with holistic health in mind and has everything from a yearly guided journal to wellness worksheets, a daily food and exercise journal, meal and goal planners, training tips, weekly shopping lists, healthy habit reminders and mindset coaching.

Designed to be used throughout the year, the daily prompts aim to guide you towards optimal health through meditation and visualisation, mindfulness, conscious eating, healthy habits, workouts, evening reflection and inspiration. The weekly and quarterly check-ins are designed to keep you inspired, accountable and on-track, and there is a yearly review to celebrate your progress while helping you plan your goals for the coming year. The smooth finish makes it easy to handle, and the fresh and inspirational design, with 464 full-colour pages, will inspire you to use it often.

We think this transformational unisex journal will guide you in creating a daily wellness ritual that will leave you feeling focused, strong and full of energy.

Daily Greatness Wellness Journal, £39.95, available online from dailygreatness.co.uk.

Happy Magazine | 37

HAPPINESS BEGINS WITH

OURSELVES 12 SELF-CARE IDEAS

H

appiness is an inside job. It’s something we’ve all heard before but how many of us have really spent some time thinking about this and what it really means?

True happiness and wellbeing comes from within.

It does not come from a diet or a fitness plan. It does not come from a great big takeaway feast or a bottle of wine. Not from a holiday, or a fun night out. Not even from the purchase of a pair of shoes or the latest gadget.

While we live in a culture that has trained us very well that these are the things that will make us happy, the truth is that we need to turn inwards to create real and lasting happiness for ourselves.

But how do we do this in challenging times? How do we do this while going through a cancer journey? It’s certainly a lot easier said than done. What we are talking about is this new term you may have heard being bandied around of late – selfcare.

Self-care is our toolkit to build real and lasting happiness.

How much time do you spend really looking after yourself every day? For most of us modern life has become so fast-paced that any time spent taking care of ourselves is

38 | Happy Magazine

“

self-care is our toolkit to build real and lasting happiness

considered the height of selfishness.

In reality though, if you are not giving to yourself, how can you give to others? Before we can take care of others, we need to take care of ourselves. You cannot pour from an empty jug and this is never more true than at times of great challenge.

So today we are sharing some tips for self-care. This is how easy it can be. These could be things that will make you feel good, or maybe they will prompt other suggestions for you. It’s all about taking time to turn within yourself and see what you need. What do you need?

12 self-care ideas

1. Take some time out of your day to make yourself a really lovely, healthy meal. Take your time preparing it and really enjoy eating it.

2. If you don’t have the energy to cook a whole meal, make yourself a cup of your favourite herbal tea. Take some time to really enjoy it without distractions.

3. Step away from Facebook and actually call a friend for a chat.

4. Tell someone if you’re struggling.

Ask for help if you need it.

5. Take frequent breaks throughout the day. Just sit and breathe, with your eyes closed, for a

6.

7.

8.

9.

10.

11.

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few minutes. Breathe in for the count of 4, pause, and breathe out for the count of 4. Focus on the counting and nothing else.

Spend some quality time with your favourite animals – this could be your cat or dog, the birds outside your window or a trip to your local petting farm or zoo.

Get outside. Do whatever the weather allows – lie in the grass or lift your face to the rain.

Watch the clouds move across the sky. Savour not thinking about anything at all except experiencing the day.

Get some colouring pencils or markers and do our colouring page, opposite. Colour away...

Let your thoughts come and go.

Find a good book and read as much or as little as you feel like.

Write down three things that happened today that you are grateful for.

Say no to someone asking you to do something you don’t want to do. Or don’t feel bad about changing your mind about something. We’re all entitled to change our minds.

Lower your expectations of yourself. Be ok with being mediocre right now if that’s what you need to be.

colour me in!

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YOGA WELLBEING

FOR stress relief

YOGA EXPERT RUTH DELAHUNTY from yogaru.ie BRINGS US THROUGH HOW YOGA CAN HELP YOU RELEASE STRESS

T

he very word ‘stress’ has us quaking in our boots – even the thought of being stressed has become a great cause of stress itself!

Stress, or the fight, flight or freeze response, is caused by hormones which are triggered by the sympathetic nervous system. This response raises our heart rate and circulates blood to our external limbs, ready for action. When these stress hormones (cortisol and adrenaline) are in overdrive, the body is too busy to make the other hormones required for bodily functions – digestion, excretion, reproduction, endocrine and immune systems.

Some level of stress is perfectly normal and all part of life. It helps you rise to the challenge, stay focused and drives productivity. The problem emerges when chronic or long-term stress keeps you in this heightened state of alert, and it drifts towards the familiar feeling of being stretched beyond your limits and feeling overwhelmed.

You can feel yourself at the edge of your tipping point but you don’t know what to do about it!

HOW DOES YOGA REDUCE STRESS?

One of the main reasons that brings people to the practice of yoga is stress management. Yoga reduces stress by stimulating the parasympathetic nervous system through breath awareness; slow mindful movement, and the deep effect each specific pose has on the body and mind. This rest, digest and restore response is caused by hormones which are triggered by the parasympathetic nervous

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system. In this state blood pressure and heart rate decrease; circulation increases; and hormone production balances for optimal bodily functions.

EXPLORING THE SEQUENCE

Breath awareness is what differencaties yoga from other activities. Conscious breathing triggers the parasympathetic nervous system through the cerebral cortex and the vagus nerve. When we link the breath with movement in our practice it slows the breath down – bringing more oxygen to your whole body and establishes a deep and constant breath. Moving slow and mindfully builds body awareness and starts to peel away the layers of clutter in the mind. Gradually you start to feel a deep sense of calm and relaxation.

As you practice these sequences, choose a flow to suit your need for that particular day. What will support you in the morning will be very different from what you need in the evening. You can also mix the sequences - simply pick a few of the poses from the different sequences and move slowly through them for about 10 minutes. As you become more in tune with your home practice, you will instinctively know what poses will serve you best. Take as many child’s pose breaks as you need – either with your arms reaching forward or your arms reaching back towards your feet. Next is a synopsis of how the following stress-reducing sequences work to calm the nervous system with lots of additional benefits.

BACKBENDS

Backbends are energising – they aid digestion; ease symptoms of asthma; ease anxiety, stress and tension; ease constipation; ease symptoms of depression; ease fatigue; boost the immune system; increase lung capacity; and help relieve chronic pain. The digestive system (enteric nervous system) produces 95% of the serotonin (the happy hormone) of the body and 80% of the immune system.

Backbends stretch and stimulate the digestive system and trigger serotonin and immune system production.

FORWARD BENDS

Forward bends are very grounding and relaxing – they aid digestion; balance emotions; ease symptoms of asthma; ease anxiety, stress and tension; ease constipation; ease symptoms of depression, ease fatigue; ease headaches, ease insomnia, reduce blood pressure and are deeply relaxing and calming. Our natural position for self soothing is fetal position. In fetal position the feet, knees, hips and back are flexed – similar to forward folds – which help to bring us to into the parasympathetic nervous system.

TWISTS

Twists are warming and energising – they aid detoxification; balance the nervous system; ease anxiety, stress and tension; ease asthma; ease constipation; ease symptoms of depression; ease fatigue; increase circulation; boost the immune system and increase lung capacity. Oxygen is the fuel for every cell of the body. In a twist position the organs in the trunk of the body are compressed – on releasing the twist, fresh oxygenated blood floods all the organs, fueling optimum functionality.

STRESS RELIEF TIPS •

•

•

HIP OPENERS

Hip openers release physical and emotional tension – they aid detox; balance emotions; ease anxiety, stress and tension; ease constipation; ease depression; ease insomnia; increase circulation; and are deeply relaxing and calming.

One of the biggest hip flexor muscles called the psoas connects the upper and lower body and is strongly linked to the fight or flight response. When this muscle is tight it triggers the stress hormone cortisol. Hip openers release this tension and relieve physical and emotional tension in the safe environment of your yoga mat.

• •

Make yoga and meditation part of your selfcare daily routine. If you can’t manage a whole sequence, pick a few stress-reducing yoga poses, to suit your energy levels, and practice for 10 minutes followed by 5 minutes of savasana or seated meditation.

Keep a note of your methods of relaxation and stress relief. Often when you’re in the throws of a stressful period you won’t be able to work out what helped you the last time you felt this way.

Make putting time aside for yourself to relax a priority. Take an Epsom and lavender bath and set a timer for 15-20 minutes of complete relaxation.

Try to get out into nature every day, looking into the horizon is known to be incredibly calming and therapeutic.

Have a ‘go to’ breathing method that works for you to use in challenging situations. It can be as simple as placing your hand on your belly, taking 5 slow deep breaths and feeling the breath expand your belly.

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TRAVEL

HEART A RETREAT WITH

Creacon Wellness Retreat is a unique getaway destination. A place for personal relaxation and rejuvenation, it’s an escape with the comforts of home and a wonderfully warm team, discovers Holly Kennedy.

N

estled in the Irish countryside, the Creacon Wellness Retreat in New Ross, County Wexford is not your average hotel stay. On offer are personal development classes (mindfulness coaching, stress management, etc), therapeutic treatments (acupuncture, massage, reiki, reflexology, etc) and wellness services (for depression, anxiety, grief, addiction, etc) as well as healthy, hearty food, alkaline water for drinking and showering and very comfortable accommodation.

After a warm welcome at the reception on our arrival, we were shown to our beautiful twin room where we settled in just briefly and enjoyed a fresh carrot, orange and ginger juice. A breathtaking pair of angel wings in our room was the first thing I saw when our door was opened and it set the tone for our stay – a home away from home, with hotelstyle comfort and quality but warm, comforting surroundings of a different level to most hotels.

After our juice, we were brought The gardens up to the treatment rooms on the first floor of the lodge, where we met our specialists. I had chosen a Reflexology session and my friend a Swedish Deep Tissue Massage. My Reflexology session was lovely – I lay on a very comfortable, heated therapy bed under a cosy blanket. My specialist dimmed the lights, put some very peaceful music on low, and began her work on my feet. If you enjoy a foot massage, you will love a reflexology session. At the end, I asked my specialist what product she had used on my feet and was surprised to hear it was just rapeseed oil.

When our treatments were over, we were shown to a quiet relaxation room with lovely views over the surrounding countryside, comfortable couches and blankets, books and magazines and a steaming hot herbal tea infusion of camomile, mint and lavender. What a way to get started at Creacon – we were feeling wonderful already.

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The meditation hall

Dinner was a relaxed affair in a communal-type, rustic dining room. Food was tasty and fully customisable for all preferences/ intolerances/allergies, etc. To give you an idea of what we ate – our starter was giant couscous and vegetables with a curry sauce, our main courses were, for me, a coconut milk chicken curry served with naan bread and for my friend, chargrilled salmon with a sweet potato mash. There was an extensive organic and vegan wine

The Ash bedroom

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TRAVEL

After dinner, we made our way to the main hall for a meditation session. The main hall at Creacon is a truly special place, welcoming

The dining room

list and a selection of desserts. I had a beetroot brownie which was quite remarkable – I really enjoyed it – and my friend had an affogato with hot chocolate which she loved.

After dinner, we made our way to the main hall for a meditation session. The main hall at Creacon is a truly special place – very warm and welcoming in atmosphere and homely as a setting. We lay down on air mats, covered ourselves in blankets, got comfortable with just the right amount of pillows and lay back to enjoy a combination of music and spoken meditation/ visualisations. I loved the supreme comfort of the air mat, the spoken meditations and the wonderfulness of just doing nothing – nowhere to be, nothing to do, just rest, just stillness, just quiet.

After an absolutely silent night tucked up in our comfortable beds, we both woke before our 7am alarm the following morning feeling refreshed. Soon we were on the move and we slipped out of the quiet and still lodge for an early morning walk.

We returned to the lodge just before 9am, had wonderfully hot showers and then joined the dining room for a great breakfast spread.

At 10.30, we did a Five Tibetan Yoga Class in the meditation hall, followed by a Tibetan Singing Bowls Meditation - an experience designed to bring you into a state of deep relaxation.

Lunch was a tasty quinoa cauliflower stew with homemade brown bread, before we packed ourselves up again and checked out. Leaving Creacon, even only 24 hours after we first arrived, felt like leaving new friends and a familiar, homely place. The staff here were incredible – so warm and friendly, welcoming, helpful and multi-talented.

The Lodge has plenty of places to rest, spend time with others, spend time with yourself, draw/paint/colour, practice yoga/ meditation/pilates, read, craft and more. The beautiful gardens, infrared sauna and outdoor seating areas I would imagine are even more lovely in the warmer months – offering additional tranquil spaces to rest, reflect and restore.

Every week Creacon offers a variety of events, classes, guest workshops and treatments. Day Retreats including lunch are possible or stay for two nights and experience all that Creacon has to offer. It is also possible to stay at Creacon on an Extended Retreat Program. Find out more at creaconwellnessretreat.com.

Happy Magazine | 43

WELLBEING

FEEL HOW TO

WELL

DURING CHEMO

1 MEDICATION

Ask your doctor what side effects you can expect. Take medication as ordered by your doctor, especially for pain, backache or nausea and vomiting.

2 Rest

Do not fight the tiredness. Get plenty of rest. Make your bedroom a restful space and go to bed early. You might find a good book and a hot water bottle comforting when you want to rest. If you are working, reduce your hours while having treatment.

3 Sleep

Have a bedtime routine. If you find it hard to sleep at night, tell your doctor or nurse. Your doctor may be able to prescribe some mild sleeping tablets for you.

4 Exercise

If you are able for physical exercise, do some regularly. Take it easy at first, increasing the amount as you feel stronger.

5 Eating

Eat small meals and a well-balanced diet, especially fruit and vegetables.

Ask for help in preparing your meals.

44 | Happy Magazine

Take plenty of clear fluids such as water or juices. Exercise and cutting out sweets and cakes may help to bring your weight back to normal, if you put on weight during treatment.

Do not diet while on treatment unless advised by your dietician and doctor.

6 Quit smoking

Seek advice about quitting smoking, if you are a smoker.

7 Protect your skin

Keep your skin covered up. Protect it by wearing a high factor suncream (SPF 30 or higher). Do not sunbathe for long periods.

8 Talking

If you are feeling worried and anxious, talk to your close friends or family

about your concerns. Ask to see a medical social worker, counsellor or specialist nurse if you prefer. They can help you find ways to cope.

9 Ask for help

Cut down on unnecessary tasks. Get others to help you around the house, with shopping, cooking and childcare or with travelling to hospital. Be specific when you ask for help as often friends and family want to help but are not sure what to do.

10 Complementary therapies

Complementary therapies, like relaxation and meditation, can boost your morale and give you a sense of wellbeing. Ask your doctor or nurse to recommend therapies that are safe for you and/or a local cancer support centre.

Happy Magazine | 45

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POSITIVITY THROUGH CANCER www.happymagazine.ie 46 | Happy Magazine

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Win an overnight BREAK including dinner for two at Celbridge Manor To celebrate the launch of the very first print issue of Happy Magazine, Ireland’s first and only dedicated cancer support magazine, we have an amazing overnight break at the Celbridge Manor Hotel in County Kildare to give away to one lucky reader.

Celbridge Manor Hotel is a magnificent Georgian-fronted hotel situated in the heritage town of Celbridge in County Kildare. Only minutes from Celbridge Village, the hotel sits on beautiful grounds, linked to the Clane Road by an opulent tree-lined avenue. The hotel combines old-world charm with the very best of modern convenience.

Built in 1737 by Parliament Speaker, William Connolly of the nearby Castletown House, Ireland’s finest Palladian country house, the hotel served as a school until the mid 1970’s, when it was converted into a hotel. The hotel is decorated to a very

high standard, reflecting the elegance of its inception in the Georgian era.

The hotel contains 66 luxurious bedrooms, all tastefully decorated and containing all modern conveniences. Each bedroom has an en-suite bathroom, which contains a separate shower and stand-alone rolltop bath, ready to transport you to a state of peace and pure tranquillity during your relaxing stay.

The hotel is conveniently located 30 minutes from Dublin city centre and 30 minutes from Dublin airport and there is easy access to the M4, M7 and M50 motorways. Celbridge is also serviced by frequent bus and rail services.

When you arrive at the gates you will be immediately transported to a world far removed from everyday life. A warm welcome awaits you, warm wood paneled lobby, sweeping staircase and light filled atrium.

With old world charm, elegant surroundings with the very best in modern conveniences close at hand, the hotel gives the best of both worlds during your stay. Plush carpets, comfortable king size beds and ornate furnishings help make their classic rooms a luxurious experience for guests.

If you wish to dine in the privacy of your guestroom, rather than in the newly refurbished restaurant, the hotel will be delighted to accommodate you with the additional option of 24 hour room service.

To enter, all you need to do is send an email with the words “Celbridge Manor Competition” in the subject line, your name and contact information and let us know where you found this copy of Happy Magazine. Winner will be announced on happymagazine.ie on 3 March 2019.

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Happy Magazine | 47

Let’s talk your questions answered

Introducing Clare Reed and the problems SHE IS looking forward to helping with.

I

am a Cognitive Behavioural Therapist at cbtforcancer.com with 10 years experience, and I specialise in cancer. I myself had breast cancer in 2017. I look forward to answering questions relating to anxiety, self-esteem and lifestyle. I had a prior corporate career in HR and Consulting and will be able to answer wider problems too and I will be drawing in other experts to help answer these questions, so it’s not just my opinion on the page! Whatever your cancer question or problem is please don’t hesitate to get in touch.

HOW CAN I STAY CALM? I have just been diagnosed with breast cancer and I’m panicking because my treatment involves chemotherapy and radiotherapy. I had so many plans coming up, I was on track for a promotion at the end of the year, and I have worked really hard for it. I am also getting married early next year after a long engagement to save money for the wedding. I can’t see how any of this is going to work out and I am struggling to keep calm. Ciara, Dublin Hi Ciara, I am so sorry to hear about your diagnosis and I hope you have a treatment plan mapped out and a good team to look after you. The unfortunate thing about cancer is there is never a good time to have it. Cancer is a big commitment that you have no choice but to take on. It is bigger than your promotion and your wedding.

Getting perspective is vital, as emotions can blow things out of proportion and make things seem much worse than they are. A great technique I use with my clients is helping them to challenge negative perspectives with neutral 48 | Happy Magazine

perspectives and positive perspectives instead, but importantly it is the quality of the perspective that counts – keeping perspectives honest and factual will help.

Keeping calm during cancer treatment involves cutting back and cutting out superfluous pressure and stress. I know your wedding has been planned for a long time but if your partner is the right one there will not be a problem delaying the wedding and that will remove all the pressure and stress in organising one. Cancer will test your relationship, but the right partner will step up to the challenge and you will know that the ‘in sickness and in health’ marriage vow has been ‘pre-validated’, making you feel even more happier marrying them.

Because you are in line for promotion you clearly are talented at what you do. That talent will not disappear. After you have finished treatment there is nothing stopping you going for a promotion there, or in another place of work. Also, as Susan Gorman, HR Consultant at Affinity HR says, “I am sure your employer will do everything they can to support you through your cancer treatment. The first thing is to be honest with them and keep them up to date with your progress and time off requirements. You may be entitled to Income Protection if your employer provides it, check this out. If you keep your employer updated then your promotion will be there waiting for you when you are ready to take it up. If it’s not, then contact us for further advice.” If you can delay the promotion until after treatment ends, it will remove the pressure to perform in a new role during treatment. I hope for the best outcome in each event but prioritise your health first. I wish you the very best with your treatment.

Affinity Consulting affinityhr.ie

Leaving a legacy in my will Hi Clare, I have had two adult daughters go through cancer in the last decade, both of whom are doing great now fortunately.

However, I have been putting off making a will and this is causing me to worry and I’d like to know how to go about making a provision to leave some money to cancer charities of my two daughters’ choice, how do I go about that? Mary, Co. Clare Hi Mary, what a decade you have had!

I am sure any mothers out there can feel the emotional whirlwind you have gone through. What a lovely gesture to make on behalf of your daughters. Putting off making a will and worrying about it is not uncommon. Most people don’t want to think about such things, but it is not worth the worry. Get your will drawn up and you will feel a weight lifted off your shoulders. Although I do have a law degree, I like to ensure the advice given here is legally correct and up to date, so I took the liberty of consulting a Private Client Solicitor who specialises in wills and here is his advice: ‘Having made adequate provision for your spouse, and children, and any other legacies you may wish to give, all you need do is make a specific legacy to the appropriate breast cancer charity.

If the charity is not to pay tax, it must be registered with the CRA [Charities Regulator] and the Irish Revenue Commissioners; you should check this. It is also important to ensure that the charity is sufficiently identified. I do not know your particular financial circumstances, and, in any case, would strongly recommend that you seek the advice of a solicitor, before making your will. You might also consider taking advice in relation to putting an Enduring Power of Attorney in place.’

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Lymphoedema is a chronic condition that causes swelling in the body’s tissue. This can lead to pain and a loss of mobility. It usually affects the arms or legs, although in some cases there may be swelling in other areas. Lymphoedema can be caused by cancer treatment. When untreated, lymphoedema can put patients at risk of infection and other complications.

With 10 years’ experience treating women who have developed lymphoedema as a result of cancer treatment, Aideen has the skills, clinical experience, and the personal understanding to draw upon in her work.

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A SHORT STORY

THE CHAIR

By Victoria Lawlor

A

lice looked out of the window.

She had been guided over to the only free chair left in the room, a chair with a view. It was still warm, she wondered who had sat there before her. Outside was distracting, she loved autumn, her favourite season of the year. She watched the trees, rustling in the breeze as people moved around her on autopilot. Leaves danced outside, orange, brown, and red. The colour of life, the colour of change.

The chair was comfy, she was grateful for that. Big, plush, and a deep brown leather colour. It had stitching visible on it, part of the design was held together with chunky cream thread. It was the kind of chair that you sat on in a furniture showroom, but

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50 | Happy Magazine

“

She wondered how many people had sat in this chair before her.

Had the chair helped them also?

Did it offer them the same reprise?

would never actually buy. Too big for a typical front room, too unpractical. It was the type of chair you needed the right surroundings for. Somewhere to show it off. Alice looked around the room. She was certainly in a big enough space now for the chair but she wasn’t sure it looked homely there at all.

Still it was hers now. She was glad to get this seat. There were lots of different types of chairs in the room, all mismatched.

Some austere, straight-backed and practical. Some plastic, cold and hardwearing and then some leather ones, which looked more comfortable. Well, she supposed, they had to make it as inviting as they could.

She felt the dark worn leather sag beneath her frame and sank into the depth of its support. She was surprised to feel it mould around her body. She had lost some weight lately and didn’t think she’d even leave an indent in the chair. It was as if the chair was holding her tight and giving her a hug when she needed it the most.

Alice ran her fingertips over the cream thread which bound the leather together. She wondered how many people had sat in this chair before her. Had the chair helped them also? Did it offer them the same reprise?

She knew of course it could not, a chair was just a chair after all. An inanimate object devoid of any magical powers.

But, as her eyes began to get heavy with sleep and boredom she closed them momentarily. Forgetting where she was and why she was there. For a brief moment she was back at home, in her mother’s lap. She felt her mother’s arms wrapped around her offering her comfort and security. A tear formed in her eye.

She wished her mother could be with her now.

The rest of the room was quiet. There were others there too. Some alone, some with company, but they all had a look about them that said they had been here before. Some had brought books or had headphones tucked deep within their ears. One was completing a Suduko puzzle. A couple in the corner whispered quietly. It appeared there would be no light conversation here, this was serious business. All the energy in the room was directed towards the treatment itself.

Alice closed her eyes again. She visualised her cancer disappearing. Bit by bit, being knocked and swept away like the leaves on the trees outside. Rotting and turning to dust to be replaced by something better. Something healthy, something new. She relaxed into the chair and let the medicine do its work.

LIFE AFTER CANCER

Y

ou’ve finished your cancer treatment.

Everyone is cheering your last chemo, it’s time for you to go back to normal.

Thing is, you can’t go back to normal. Quite simply you just aren’t the same person you were before the consultant said it was cancer. You just aren’t that person any more, and no amount of wishing will change that.

You can’t go back, and you don’t know how to go forward, so you’re stuck. You’re in the dark, you’re lost. You look at the person in the mirror and you don’t recognise the person looking back at you.

You didn’t choose cancer.

You didn’t choose the lost friends. You didn’t choose the treatment or the pain or the baldness or the weight changes or the fertility worries.

You lost choice. You lost control. You lost you.

What we often don’t get told when we step off the cancer rollercoaster with shaky legs, is this feeling of being lost is NORMAL. You are normal. It is normal to experience a mental and emotional downturn after cancer treatment. You are supposed to be sad and happy and angry and wistful and mixed-up and frightened and disorientated and whatever other emotions are going on for you right now.

Your feelings – whatever they are – are a normal reaction to an abnormal situation. This downturn is as much a side effect of a cancer diagnosis as anything else you’ve undergone.

And with any side effect, it can be treated. Coaching, exercise, counselling, dancing, abseiling,

REGAINING CHOICE AND CONTROL

By Niamh Gaffney

do whatever you need to do to boost your mental and emotional fitness. Do whatever you have to do remind yourself what’s important to you, what you want out of life.

Because the bottom line is, the only person who can give you back choice and control is YOU. The only way to get what you want, to be who you want, to feel how you want is to choose it and go after it – not easy, that’s true, but simple nonetheless.

You choose how to portray what happened to you. You choose how to react.

You can choose to allow the negative self-talk to keep you stuck, or you can choose to challenge those thoughts and take back control, take action.

This is not about being positive all the time – nobody can be positive all the time – it’s unrealistic to be positive all the

The only way to get what you want, to be who you want, to feel how you want is to choose it and go after it – SIMPLE

time. BUT. It is equally unrealistic to think that the opposite is true.

You can choose to see things from a different perspective. By asking ‘How else can I see this?’ you are opening yourself up to a whole world of possibilities, of creative solutions, of exciting new opportunities.

Stacey Kramer’s Ted Talk ‘The Gift’ shows this different perspective beautifully, and the use of gratitude journals, talking with a friend, mindfulness and exercise have all been shown to increase awareness of the mental choices that are available to us.

Taking back control is just putting those choices into action. After an illness such as cancer our confidence levels can be at rock bottom. Confidence naturally comes from action – the more action you take the more competent you become, the more confident you feel.

Sometimes however you need a bit of confidence, a bit of a superpower, to give you the boost you need to take that action.

A brilliant confidence hack is to stand in your favourite power pose for 2 minutes –

channel your inner Beyonce or Wonderwoman, stand tall with feet hip distance apart, hands on your hips, chest out and breathe in and out in slow deep breaths.

Check out Amy Cuddy’s Ted Talk for more info on power poses.

With this new-found confidence choose to take action, choose to take back control. Ask yourself what you can do, and take one tiny step towards that.

We do lose choice and control when we get sick. Things change. Trauma is the change you don’t choose. Healing, however, is the change you do choose. You can heal despite yourself, but oh, how much quicker and more pleasant it is when you choose to take control yourself.

Choose not to prolong your trauma, choose to promote your healing. Choose your life.

Choose. Change. Control.

Niamh Gaffney runs coaching consulting company Directionality. Niamh is also a breast cancer survivor. Niamh’s website is directionality.ie.

Happy Magazine | 51

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WALKING BACK TO GOOD HEALTH THE BENEFITS OF A DAILY WALK

By Holly Kennedy

O

ne day recently while I was out for my daily walk with my little boy, I started thinking about all the many benefits a walk can bring you.

We were walking down to our local SuperValu which is about a mile away, for some groceries. My son walks for the first little while and then when he gets tired he gets into his stroller. He loves his walk and gets so much enjoyment out of it. As do I! As we walked along I kept thinking of all the different benefits we were experiencing from our walk and then I would say them out loud to him. He’s repeating everything he hears at the moment so it was great practice for that. But I also thought all the benefits would make a good article to share with you all and perhaps inspire you to get out for a walk today. So here’s what we came up with…

Benefits to enjoy from a daily walk

1. The obvious one – exercise! A brisk walk is a great full body workout 2. Fresh air in the lungs, and, along with this,

“

Walking can be a wonderful therapy as well as great exercise

3. Deep breathing – a walk is a great opportunity to breathe in ten great big deep breaths and let those shoulders down an inch or two 4. Sunshine/Vitamin D – the happiness vitamin! Thirty minutes walking outdoors a day between 12pm and 3pm March to October is a good source of Vitamin D 5. Head space away from computers/phones – keep that phone away and enjoy the view 6. Experience nature – watch the breeze lift the trees, birds hop across your path, cats and dogs out for their walks 7. Time to think without distractions, or, if you don’t want to think, plug those earphones in and listen to some music or practice a wellbeing mantra 8. Opportunity to meet a neighbour for a chat 9. Opportunity to smile at a stranger and cheer them (and you!) up 10. Working up a sweat will help your body’s detox functions 11. Walking is a great time to drink water – I always bring my water bottle and stop for

water breaks. A walk is a great way to get a good full bottle of water into you 12. Post-walk endorphins! You can’t beat them. They’ll lift your spirits and make you feel great for the rest of the day 13. And finally, good exercise actually generates energy for your body, it sounds like a strange one but it’s true! A daily walk will actually increase your daily energy levels Pretty good, right? All this from a walk! Walking can be a wonderful therapy as well as great exercise. Walking thirty minutes a day not only has great benefits for your body but will also lift your mood. You don’t need to drive anywhere first. Just open your front door and away you go. Round the block, down the road, to the shops.

Anywhere. If you are not a regular walker, start small, with five or ten minutes per day. Walk away from your house for five minutes, turn around and walk back to your house for five minutes.

If you are walking on your own, try listening to music via your phone and earphones and turn your walk into a bit of music therapy too.

Happy Magazine | 53

YOUR STORIES

Reader Ger D’Arcy on how cancer has changed him - for the better Your name, age and where you’re from My name is Gerard D’Arcy. I am 51 years of age and I’m from Cashel in Co. Tipperary, but I’ve been living in Cork for the past 31 years.

Your diagnosis story I had a colonoscopy in August 2016 after visiting my GP to discuss some “unusual” symptoms. I was 49 at the time. My surgeon subsequently met my wife and myself on 6th September and informed me I had a colorectal adenocarcinoma. His recommendation was surgery as soon as possible, which I duly had on 15th September in the Mercy University Hospital, Cork.

How did you feel when you were first diagnosed?

Actually, and this sounds ludicrous, initially I felt somewhat “relieved”. In the sense that in the preceding months to my diagnosis, I knew something wasn’t or didn’t feel quite right… I had symptoms that weren’t “normal” and the diagnosis was a kind of “proof ” that I wasn’t going mad!! I was right, I knew there was something wrong!! However, in the cold light of day and when I had time to think about it… I felt the shock; the anger; the worry; the despair. Having trained as a General Nurse many years ago and working in the pharmaceutical industry for nearly 25 years, I knew all the statistics, the good, the bad, the ugly, the survival rates etc etc… But I hadn’t much time to think about it as a date for my surgery came through – 9 days after my diagnosis.

surgeon, is extremely hard going! The surgery was lengthy, I remember being put to sleep at 1:20pm in the afternoon and the next I remember is being taken back to the high dependency ward at around 10pm that night! I don’t think there was any part of me left that wasn’t hooked up to a drip, tubes, drains, machine… But, with unbelievably attentive and supportive staff, I was discharged 5 days after my surgery; feeling very sore and sorry for myself. But as my wife is also a nurse, I was SO lucky to be going home to where I knew I would be taken care of so well. I knew this was a long road ahead…

I also had to have 6 months of chemotherapy as the cancer had spread locally to many lymph nodes.

My Oncologist and his team looked after me so well during those 6 months – they have such an important role to play in talking to patients, explaining treatment, what to expect and what to do if you experience side effects… and you DO get side effects! Finally, after what seemed like an eternity, the date for my ileostomy reversal surgery was scheduled for May 2017 and I couldn’t wait! But wow, did I need all of those 7 months remaining in 2017 to come to terms with the “new functionality” of post colorectal surgery…! Much is written in magazines, support literature and leaflets about what to expect after reversal of a stoma… it is all true.

Your treatment plan So, after the scans and colonoscopies, the plan was for radical abdominal surgery – anterior resection, total mesorectal excision and formation of a temporary ileostomy. I met my Stoma Nurse, Mary, who I had worked with many years before as a student nurse (how small is the world?!). She marked where the stoma would be placed, a brief insight in to what to expect after surgery and management in the months after surgery – I knew I was going to have this for at least 6 months to give the bowel time to heal after the surgery.

Worst/best part of treatment Best: The selection of a surgeon whom I had 100% faith and trust in to get rid of all that cancer. His skill, his team and the support of a knowledgeable and professional team in the Mercy Hospital. The care and support of a dedicated Oncology team in MUH who are consummate professionals.

Worst: The day I was told that the cancer had spread locally to numerous lymph nodes, even though it looked like the primary tumour was in it’s early stages.

I knew this meant chemotherapy and I’d have the stoma for longer than the 6 months. The ileostomy was probably the toughest thing to deal with and manage during the treatment.

How did treatment go for you?

Well, I can tell you that major abdominal surgery, even if it was completed laparoscopically by a highly-skilled

Enjoying this? There’s more! Continue reading Ger’s story of survival (and others) online on happymagazine. ie in the Your Stories section.

54 | Happy Magazine

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I also had to have 6 months of chemo as the cancer had spread locally to many lymph nodes. My Oncologist and his team looked after me so well during those 6 months

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