Patterns of The Alphabets by HappyNewYing

Patterns of the Alphabets

POEMS BY CATALINA MENGYAO YANG Cover Art by Catalina Mengyao Yang

Copyright © 2018 by Catalina Mengyao Yang All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means, including photocopying, recording, or other electronic or mechanical methods, without the prior written permission of the publisher, except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical reviews and certain other noncommercial uses permitted by copyright law. Edited in the United States of America First Electronic Edition, 2018

For my beloved Mom and Dad *** To celebrate my creative self, and my poetic moments

Contents Monet Happiness Grass and Tree Summer Blue Canvas Leaning Tree Crayfish A New Coat Gone before Life I am from (2013) Odd to Off Tune A Time I am from (2012) May Day A Bag of Words Grandmother’s Green Pea Soup Ode to Baked Salmon Ode to Jalapeños Mitochondria Prophecy Non-sense Are We Sane Don’t Plant a Tree with Fire I am the Light Tear The Middle of Beginning The Only Way is Up Portrait Name Chalkboard 4

Ode to Wildwood School Moving on My Names Trust the Horse A Queen’s Love Puck’s Diary Self Talk with Me

MONET My family Is Monet’s water lilies Independent blooms Whirled together Here A boasting red A marching yellow A loving blue There A shy pink A peeking violet A whispering orange Different But united A piece full of Life Joy Fun Twirling Laughing

HAPPINESS Happiness is not winter or spring It's in between Happiness is in my Mom's warm soup It is the story you hear Happiness is everywhere

GRASS AND TREE I am small Stepped by all Grass No one notices me

I am tall Proudly above all A tree Poems and songs

A soft carpet For the Kids I love them

A shady umbrella For the Kids I love them Too

SUMMER Rush! Rush! The grass brushes against My skinny long legs Rush! Rush! The wind blows by the grass Turning it into the green waves Of the ocean land Rush! Rush! A plane flies by Rush! Rush! Leaves brush against leaves Making the delicate sounds of summer My heart dances as The rushing summer music Floats by me Filled with the Movement of nature

BLUE CANVAS Someone rudely spilled white over the Baby blue sky Layers of cotton blocking View Are they keeping the sky to themselves? Selfish Are they keeping the secret of life? Why oh why Can’t I see thy sky? There it is Peeking through Such beauty cannot be hidden Thank you wind Thank you breeze Thank you eyes That let me See

LEANING TREE Protecting the river With outstretched arms Jeweled with tears of morning A pinch of yellow A dash of green A handful of brown It’s a rebel Not straight But going its way Slanted Clinging for life At the edge

CRAYFISH

Fire burning At the tips of their legs A lantern in the sea of green and brown Stars scatter On their night like shells The sun rising up their tails Creatures That holds night and day Creatures Fighting for freedom

A NEW COAT A red leaf Already? So soon? People blame me for Stealing summer For starting school I am just too weak To resist a new coat It’s red

GONE BEFORE LIFE Buds aiming for the warmth of the sun Soon to bloom Will they? The chills of autumn have settled in The ages of summer Demolished Through the wind Gone before their eyes greet the Sun? Gone before a curious child touch Its silk like petals? Gone before life?

I AM FROM (2013) I am from The sun hiding behind dark clouds While the dogs and cats Rain down on me

I am from Reading and painting my mind Sleeping through time

I am from climbing Mt. Fuji Battling the winds Dancing through rain

I am from Chopin’s Nocturne On the piano under my fingers

I am from The birds singing away the early morning Flowers sending their wishes Through the sweet scented air

ODE TO OFF TUNE A A misty white key Lined with the scratches of the years The sides Bore the color of dry Texas dirt It’s a normal ordinary key Out of the 88 Yet It’s a trip in the Dance of the Sugar Plums A fall in the Wild Rider A freeze in the Avalanche Center of life depends on you When I play Center of luck is on you When heaven and earth are in your grasps A thump in the light waltz. A weak screech in the strong robust march The course of music changes in your hands A croak in a ballad A note different from all others It holds such power And destiny At times A beautiful A flies through the window into the meadow At time it brings thunder To the clear sky with its sickening sound A single ring From a normal looking key The world of music depends on you

TIME I know not time is cruel I know not time can change Time is so little So big It controls everything It controls nothing I know not what time is Only thing I know Just grab on

I AM FROM (2012) I am from the intricate mess of the strings On my dream catcher Stringing the past Catching my future I am from red envelopes and dumplings on New Year's Eve Fireworks more radiant than the Sun. Soup, fish, lamb, stew, beef, pork, rice noodles Piling over the table I am from my Grandma’s bed Jumping on mattress, breaking them, crashing them Laughing loudly to the air I am from my tree, whose broken branch I healed Heart-shaped leaves, white flowers sprinkling down at me Filling my hands with Nature. I am from Earth’s beauty Puffy clouds, crystal rain, diamond snow Booming wind and striking storms I am from my parents’ hugs Dad’s humor, Mom’s long lectures And my cousin’s dirty tricks I am from family and friends Ha Ya! I am from the kicks in Taekwondo Speed and wind from running Notes on my piano

Strings on my viola And long poems that I write. I am from me!

May Day (Sestina) The rising sun watches you, For this very day On the 22nd of May It is a day for you to be gifted Rise and shine With happy love Care and joy and love Arrive upon your doorsteps The air sparkle With your gifts From May It's May Month of love Gifts And you Wish you a happy birthday Let the candles shine You hate you love That day Should you shine On the 22nd of May On special day For age and love Me and you Bring the cakes and gifts Nights and day

Rain of gifts Full of love Day of shine You may be You You for the day May the Month of gifts Shine with love

A BAG OF WORDS Across the town From the library My mother Has come Her bag Stuffed tight With poking edges Packed full Of words Of patterns of the alphabet Of words Of warm prints We flip through Sticking our noses In the words Its addicting Ink smell

GRANDMOTHER’S GREEN PEA SOUP A pot, a stove, and a happy smile to loop through Side by side Play with peas And with me Two cups of water, one cup of sugar Four fists of peas, four pinches magic One hand with a spoon Brown and woody Grip it tight Mix it with light Put on a hat for the pot Set the clock for 60 minutes Make the stove come alive One tick, two tick An emerald green swamp

ODE TO BAKED SALMON O, baked salmon Your light pink color From a toddler’s pallet Glitters in my eyes Your dazzling smell Entangled with the Lingering sense Of the Sea Creates the tides Of smiles that sway on my face The sizzling, popping, dancing, jazzing giggling scales Smudged with the Specks of oil Shine brighter than the moon Waves of rainbows flow across my mind As the colorful spices scatter around your flesh You carry a world of favor and joy The smooth and silky textures excite my taste buds

O, baked salmon, Your are the angle of food

The perfume of smiles The one and only…

ODE to JALAPñEOS O, Jalapeños Green as spring Crooked like an old man’s nose The spicy hot seeds embedded in your bumpy belly The burn and the “Ahhh!!!” that you bring to my taste buds A plain world splashed by your raging flavor The throbbing and sting you bring Tears striding down my cheek As you favor lingers on

“Hoottttt!” I scream Glup! Glup! Water down my throat. Nothing helps. Your powerful taste last for eternity. I worship you as the king of peppers, Creator of firing mouth. O, Jalapeños you burn the past and future. … And the present …

MITOCHONDRIA I was once the enemy The invader The most wanted In the grueling war of cells I, the E. Coli Was killed But not dead Now I am something else A slave of a muscle cell I burn I burn And I burn Wanting to destroy my prison But in vain I struggled The cell of a prison Only gets Stronger

PROPHECY Three shall go east to the endless maze The most deathly one shall have its raise Thoughts that had been forgotten will find its way It will be the worst delay The cruelest battle is against your heart You will turn it into war of art When the leaves lie down It will be the last call For the victor town The weakest one will turn 13 It is the time to find the meaning Ride the blue Moon’s Tail Find the missing trail To obey and disobey will be the key It all depends on what you see

NON-SENSE Fly up to the sky Solve the riddle of Pi The Clouds shall fall Creating big or small Read. Think. Write Seed. Link. Kite Use and reuse Lose and stand Start to mend When the first snow lands The last word shall be sent When the sun rises on the day May we sing to say It's not what it seems Do not trust your eyes Reason with your lies Don't fear We'll be there Hope and believe

ARE WE SANE Dark and evil as the midnight crows, Eating and drinking the good men's souls You call for bloody mangoes We call for lovely angels Pumpkin shines bright As it was wolf moon You rush to come too soon Shut your brain Use your eyes Stop concentrating on the lies Its fears we all wear But do we understand it all Troublesome brain Are we sane

DON’T PLANT A TREE WITH FIRE The tree with burns with rage Firing in the twilight

Who planted this tree with fire It will spread arm by arm Branches to leaves Never ending the firing tree

Who watered this tree with fire No water can do No wind will blow over

Who had created The tree of fire That will burn till The very last drop of air

I AM THE LIGHT Why do we destroying? Who we are? The sun rises day and day A broken world does not

What do we love? Darkness is the rainbow for thoughts Life? In hurry to do what? Who do we care?

Do we care? Money rules us or we rule money. No sunlight No smile A dark place I hide from eternity

The world is dark But I am the light The first candle

Things are there not for us but for the future We are just the delivery guy

Water runs free Cracks can not be sealed

Flying toward freedom of mankind is flying to another cage

The strongest protection against heart is a wall of glass But when that's shattered It'll stab our heart more than a single stab

Mouth is a sword sharper than any of swords Only love can bend the laws of universe And break the iceberg of hate

We hold up the sky When we fight No one is holding Hope is killed The world follows her to the graves

Meaning? Are we guilty? How do humans live?

Trust? Simplicity Sprints Complexity Runs

Plain is a second away from the star or from rebirth World shall not be destructed by men It shall be the only planet loved by us

TEAR Slipping down your cheeks Flying from you eyes They are salty like sea Clear like glass Do you know what it carries? Your fear Your anger Your sadness Your love No, No, No It's just a tear Crystal tear Light as a feather All those things Are something else Imagination

THE MIDDLE OF BEGINNING To have depression and death send through transmitters how powerful is technology to hear each of the last words drip from the speakers how we floated there waiting for a sniff of laughter to signal the end of a nasty joke we waited to hear the last of Earth to hear us announced as the last humans how hard we fought the urge to shout and demand the answer but the last transmission has ended we are terrifyingly alone in space in universe the lone survivors

THE ONLY WAY IS UP

The howling wind and violent rain stole my glasses, family, and senses. I was alone in the storm, ascending the rocky spine of Fuji. I had no more energy left to be lost or to be afraid. Up I climbed to leave the storm behind, to greet the rising sun.

Pâ&#x20AC;&#x2039;ORTRAIT When she looked into the mirror, she saw all the ugliness in world.

My words could not uncloud her vision, and lift her up from her depths of self-resentment.

Therefore, I created a new mirror with my paper and pen. A mirror that reflected the beauty I saw in her.

NAME I loved my name until I was six. Then I came to America, and the name tumbled and broke in the mouths of Americans.

My name was no longer the beautiful marriage of the names of a wise philosopher and an almighty emperor.

It became a painful string of syllables.

CHALKBOARD Hanging above all By your shining Little hands Oh, no！She forgot to change the date Oh, no! It’s Thursday with a quiz Oh, no! No Recess The board knows it all Silently hanging there Laughing at the world Books pile against it Bendy posters of cheesy charts The teacher's chalks Blue, red, green, and yellow Da, da, screech! A room of hidden ears Puff! Puff! A child sneezes by its Sparks

ODE TO WILDWOOD SCHOOL The laughter That drenches the building In happiness The memories Of all sparkles in every Corner Luck Favors me For this is my school Our school 12 seasons passed The days Of welcome turn to Goodbyes I look back New beginnings in 4th Laughter in 5th Craziness in 6th The days crescendo and decrescendo Piano to double forte Creating The symphony piece of Wildwood It Ends With A Pocket Of new Knowledge And A Smile Towards The Unknown future

MOVING ON Hollow rattles of locker doors No more treasures to hide Emptied Shut Soft rustles of papers No more lines to fill Deflated binders Slammed down covers A flutter of movements Bare walls Blank boards Closed doors Everything down everything closed Yet our hearts are up Flying With the summer breeze Soaring With our dreams Our eyes are open Looking Through different lenses Our eyes see A multitude Of colors Shapes Together

Discovering The world Our world A new world Closing this chapter We open the next Around the corner Our next adventure Awaits

MY NAMES I have many names Each name rules over its own vast empire And like empires They live on the edge of war and peace Catalina rules over the land of signatures The oceans of schools The mountains of English words And the valleys of art It’s the name that I gave myself It’s the name with which I face myself Barely ten years ago leaving my motherland for another I decided a new name was necessary It would mark the start of my era A new life starting, where I’ll write my own legacy. It’s the name of my teenage years The letters that spell my spirit

孟尧, Meng Yao The name of an influential ancient Chinese philosopher And the name of a legendary emperor in Chinese myth Combined into one -- my name It carries my parents’ hopes

It carries my own ambitions It carries the weight of my culture 孟尧 is the name spoken by the people who love me most My mom, my dad, my grandparents, my aunts and uncles It is the name that I proudly bear It is the name that I will conquer the world with It rules over the canyons of my conscience The forest of values The prairie of family From the moment I grasped the meaning of my name It became the motivation that kept pushing me forward I will seek the wisdom of 孟, the sage Mencius, And obtain the power and glory of 尧, the first emperor Yao , One is my spirit A name with no responsibility A name I live freely The other holds destiny and expectations The older one that looks far off into the distance While the younger plays without worry at its feet

TRUST THE HORSE Sing in me, Muse, and through me tell the tale Of the glorious city of Yort Of their dealings with the cunning, murderous Greeks The same Greeks who had plundered the sacred heights of Troy A beloved neighbor of Yort Sing to me of the mighty wooden horse Who earned its fame in the Trojan war Who, from then on inspired great fear in the hearts of men Men, who feared their cities too would receive such a horse Sing of how this horse arrived on the doorsteps of Yort A city that believed it would not fall to the Greeks like the Trojans did A city that believed it could succeed in outsmarting these treacherous invaders Speak, Memory, of the Najort soldier who upon the tall thick wall of Yort First caught sight of the wooden horse far off in the horizon He ran, as if wearing Hermes’ sandals to his king “The horse! The horse! Gr..Greeks with horse!” Speak of how the solder’s broken words sent waves of panic around the room Of how the king’s bravest generals stood still With their spirits in their noses Only the king stood composed and beamed with confidence He spoke these words: Friends, Najorts, countrymen, lend me your ears! Let us heed the words that Trojans failed to heed

Equo ne Credite! There will certainly be soldiers hidden inside the horse But they pose no threat if we are ready with our swords I say to you all, bring the horse in and we shall put on a show Let us drink, and eat and party and fall asleep But all the while keep our weapons close, and our ears sharp When it is all quiet The hidden Greeks will surely come out And when they start to attach they will find we are no drunks But mighty warriors And the table shall be turned Speak of how the generals applauded the kingâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s wisdom Of how the eager Najorts prepared for their performance Barrels of wine were switched with barrels of grape juice Weapons were sharpened and hidden around the city Everything was ready inside the walls of Yort Thousands of excited Najort hearts beating fast Awaiting their chance to avenge their Trojan neighbors And to outsmart the cunning Greeks The time came The horse was at the gate with forty Greeks flanking its side It stood tall and mighty, casting a great shadow on the city The leading Greek soldier spoke the following: We have come here today to make peace with Yort We have brought this beautiful, well-crafted horse as a sign of our sincerity Please do us the honor of accepting this gift May we come in too? Our artists want make a sketch of the horse in your city Speak, memory, of how Najort guards kept their eyes trained on the horse And without careful consideration agreed to let the Greeks inside the walls The horse was paraded through the city The Najorts faithfully acted out their past as happy ignorant fools All eyes and minds were trained on the horse 45

Speak of how the sly Greeks, one by one snuck away And traveled back to the gate of the city There they stealthily slit the throats Of all the guards and took their places They sent a signal to the thousands of Greeks hiding a few miles away And waited to open the strong unbreathable gates for them All this while the Najorts performed in front of the horse Excessively drinking and eating, until all collapsed on the ground Long periods of silence came and went However no Greeks came out of the horse Najorts started to grow weary of waiting One soldier went up to the horse and hacked opened its belly It was empty Everyone suddenly felt their hearts drop For all of them came to the same conclusion If the Greeks are not inside the horse, then they are … CHARGE!! Before any Najorts could blink Thousands of Greeks rushed through the city’s gate And ravaged the city of Yort The Najort king cried out: You are supposed to be in the horse! The Greeks laughed Equo Credite!

A QUEEN’S LOVE Cleopatra, ah Cleopatra Both of us have gone like the wind A swift determined leap to escape the madness of the living Thou by the teeth and venom of a sacred beast I, thy beloved Anthony Soon by the blade that once have dispatched my enemies Death fear me not No greater woe than losing thee Adieu to the lands we ruled Octavian and his troops march upon them Their thousand feet covering the glowing earth of Egypt We have lost, but Cleopatra! we hold triumph in our hands The terrible foe will not separate us In the world of light and stars shall we rule again

The blade pressed against my heart The gleaming metal reflecting a stranger’s face A changed man I have become, Cleopatra! A man I cannot fathom Your love bewitched my being My once certain Roman heart Now I am dying for love, dying for you At the edge of life the flood of memories runs I remember, remember the encounter that commenced this all Commenced our eleven years of love and pain The river of Cydnus with a goddess afloat Flowers, gold, dancing perfume Outspread purple sails The gentles currents carrying her ashore Into the world that I dwell

A supper under the sparkling lights Sealed my affection I was lost in thy charm Day or night by each other's side Though thy mind always hidden from mine Together we saw the merge of our people The birth of our children You pulled me from Rome Pulled me into your world of mystery No longer do I fight for fame and glory alone I fight for the day when shall sit on the highest of thrones Fight for the land that one day our children shall rule Our love and marriage transcends nations Transcends thousands of miles But his marriage shall bring our people together Unit our love for eternity Queen of Kings, Queen of Kings What a world we might have ruled All of Rome, all of Egypt, all of the world Our marriage of power Our marriage of kingdoms Alas, in the world of living But in another world Where you are Venus You Isis, and I am your Osiris

PUCK’S DIARY

( A Midsummer Night’s Dream)

Oooo! The twin of Venus has walked into view. What a jolly is this night. Let me go say hi. Oh darn. What she need to serve thy fair queen? This complicates things. Oberon’s wrath, I cannot swallow For if he sees me with Titania’s maiden He shall query thy loyalty Ever since that Indian boy showed his face to my master and mistress Nothing but troubles brew Oberon bears not Titania’s company Petty feuds befall the court Oh, what ever Oberon is not here Nor Titania They are not my worries now Merriments fill the beating target of cupid’s arrows This beautiful spirit knows thy name Thy name! And my proud accomplishments she appreciates To win her laughter Sing to her of my many jests and tricks I shall But oh I hath to fled For here comes Oberon And there comes Titania I used to watch with enjoyments Their bickering so fond Giggles fill my throat But tiresome they get When long they last What intent does my master have? 49

Leading thy memories to the sea Clearly do I remember The simmering tails of Neptune’s daughters Methinks never have I seen such sight Oh, how I wish stricken with love was I that day Oberon’s eyesight is good indeed Awed is I So a love infested flower he wants me bring No weirder office have I been on Titania will be the fool when lover’s juice is in her eyes The show, the drama, I crave to see Around the world I go Mermaids may I see again The flower was where Oberon said Before milk white now with the wound of love Making the petals a violent purple The smell is forceful too Nothing of love is ever gentle Better hurry Oberon awaits So is the joke Who shall Titania see first after her sleep A cow? MOooo What of the crazy monkeys? Maybe the headless bear that roams the trees? Hurry hurry I want to see HAHAHAHAHAH The potion works its magic Titania sleeps I already chokes myself with laughter of the image of thy fair queen Monster chasing Oberon control freak is he What’s not right in his eyes Must be set right An Athenian male must I seek 50

Squeeze the love’s flower on the eyes of he Ironic is it not? Oberon cares of others’ fate of love But not his own? Oh well. Problem is not mine Worrying of mortal’s fares is not thy style Watching the chaos suits me well Athenian male Watch out Merry wanderer of the night is on your trail Across the forest have I gone But in vain no Athenian do I spot THERE!!! I saw him Laying in a dreamy state Here comes the love potion How did it go? All right, I remember now When thou wak’st, let love forbid Sleep his seat on thy eyelid…. Mission complete What are those fools wandering so near the fairy queens bed? A play? I love plays Methinks have I time to watch What a strange play this is Pyramus has changed face and soul An ass is what this actor is LIGHTBULB! Then an ASS he will be Bidbidi—Bobidi—Boo How they run Nothing on my hands to do Why not follow them suit A headless bear I will be A horse too And a hog This is going to be fun 51

Oberon are you happy now? Look how faithful a servant I am I should get some rewards But you stinky Oberon never sees my work Self centered beeeeeeeeep Titania lover is an Ass Who would have imagined that It been for a long time since a good joke had been played I am too good at jesting A genius is what I am Pucker the Amazing Jester What a good ring it has

Thunderbolts come my way I Oberon blames For the Athenian male I poisoned with love Was not Oberon’s Athenian male How was to know which he meant? All mortals look the same to me I wot never his face So what if the wrong man I chase Then fate o’errules Chill Oberon And enjoy the pageant that the fond mortals present Do I really need to find that lad again? Setting things right is not so fun Why must I run this errand? I have to prevent their sword fight too? Why must I? So much work is thrown upon me I must speak in their tongues Tongues of the Athenian males Puck needs a vacation of a sort Why do mortals move so slow? Lysander hurry up and charge this way 52

Methinks if you any slower A hog you shall be Demetrius come on already! I haven’t got all day’s time Keeping the fog as curtains is tiring So is playing with mortals Helena come over here Lay down Good girl Three down one to go Where is that acorn? Wasting my time Here she comes What a sad face she has Lie down and sleep Puck is here with love’s remedy I hope this will be the last time I have to deal with love’s flowers Puck needs sleep I wonder if I can make my bed be in love with me and follow me around

SELF TALK WITH ME I know all of this already, you don’t have to keep reminding me! You will listen to this and program it into your muscle memory; You will memorize the standards you have for yourself and always stand by them, Not like the willow trees we detest, swaying at the slightest breeze; You will be proud of who you are, and always cherish the rich and brilliant culture in which you are born into; You will practice your Chinese everyday and not shrink away from it, learn your roots, find beauty in the characters; Embrace your identity; you are not one but two worlds combined; You ... I know all that, you are starting to be repetitive; Hush, it is good for you to hear this a lot, helps you remember; You will be the sophisticated strong elegant girl that I know you are and not the unreasonably rebellious, rude, inconsiderate typical teenager that you are always act like; You will be responsible of all the things you do and stop using your age to excuse your actions; I am still young, it’s my job to make trouble and mistakes; You are allowed to make mistakes but you are not allowed not to realize your mistakes and keep making them; Once again, you have standards; You are going to be something great, you life is going to be epic, don’t hold yourself to average standards; Always always remember: You are one out of billions,

You are Earth among the stars, You are not average; Don’t complain about school being boring, But it is boring; Look at it from researchers point of view; observe human interactions, study how students act around different groups, notice the power struggles among the staff and kids; Find the weakness of the system, plot your imaginary take over; School is your mini society, play it to your own advantage; Everything you do in school is not for grades nor school itself, it’s for you future, this is your foundation; Never learn for a test, learn for your own enjoyment and understanding; You will be a critical thinker and not the robot that goes around repeating everything the teachers say, they are not the judge of knowledge of truth of life; They are also human, they also make mistakes, they are biased, too; Always remember: What they say is only their own opinion, BE CRITICAL of everything; You will be happy and smile and laugh, because you remember what it’s like to be so dark and depressed; I SMILE all the time! you don’t have to remind me; You will not shout at your parents and hate them, because you know how much they love you; You will not waste your life on meaningless things, because you know how precious time is; You will not follow the herd, because you know truth only belongs to individuals; You will always treat people with respect, because you know what it’s like to be degraded and insulted; You will always remember the passion that you have for life and the ambition you have for the universe; You will always be DIFFERENT, always be YOU, always be the unique one. I LOVE YOU! I LOVE YOU TOO!