Happy Space Magazine - Issue 3 by Happy Space UK

Issue 3 - September 2016

HAPPY SPACE No road is long with good company

This monthâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s cover comes from across the sea in australia. Molly Stutchbury grew up in a very creative environment so design has always been a part of who she is; arranging things together in a way that entertains the eye has always come naturally to her. With the combination of both graphic design and marketing she is able to unite both sides of her brain to create a language of design and business; applying marketing knowledge to her design practice has helped her to see beyond just creating a logo for a brand and to see the brand as a whole authentic vision for a business in a very specific market.

Happy Space 3

let’s start an epidemic of happiness

Welcome “It was only a sunny smile, and little it cost in the giving, but like morning light it s c a t t e r e d the night and made

”

the day worth living.

- F. Scott Fitzgerald

Yep, we see what you’re getting at Mr Fitzgerald. Friends, family, colleagues, boyfriends and girlfriends, husbands and wives...how we interact on a daily basis can hugely impact our happiness. We hope you enjoy the third issue of the Happy Space quarterly magazine, which is dedicated to exploring ‘relationships’, both with ourselves and others.

- Tegan

contents 7

Living with Depression

Get in your right mind, starting with what you put in your mouth.

Get a first hand account of what its really like to live with depression.

What is Happy Space?

Happy Spacer of the month! Hear from Frankie Gandy and how you can run, leap and swim your way happy!

Chat with Judith Apps Happy Spaceâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s own psychotherapist talks relationships and how to handle them.

Find out about who we are and what we do!

Eating Happy

How to be happy, single Hear from Holly on how to bond with yourself before anyone else.

Living With Depression BATTLING DEPRESSION: JAMIE’S MIND :ANONYMOUS SUBMISSION I was born 5 days after my Mum’s father unexpectedly died from a heart attack. This deeply affected my Mum and she was depressed throughout my first months; it took her 10 days before she was able to see me after I was born as she was so grief stricken. Throughout my childhood my brother and I were very aware that my Mum was prone to periods of depression, and for us it seemed normal that when we went to bed she would remain awake for hours, often till 4am on the sofa. We knew which excuses to make for her when my dad’s side of the family were gathering for an occasion, and when friends came over for surprise visits we would sometimes all hide behind the fridge in the kitchen until they left. I remember begging to have a birthday party throughout my childhood and the answer would always be “Do we have to make it a big deal?” Don’t get me wrong, my Mum is a very outgoing and loving person, but occasionally these insecurities manifest. What you need to know about people with mental health issues, is even a happy event can’t change someone’s intrinsic state of mind. I was my mother’s main confidante and so it almost makes sense that I became romantically drawn to someone who suffers from anxiety and panic attacks, even though this wasn’t evident at first. When you grow up worrying about a family member’s well-being I believe you gain an emotional intelligence and empathy that enables you to reach out to others. I have been with my boyfriend now for nearly 8 years, and he is a very charismatic young man that can light up a room. However, when you scratch beneath the surface you realise that light is often covering up darkness within. An overwhelming fear in normal situations that can lead to the onset of a panic attack. Dreams of dying, and fear of losing loved ones. All of this manifested when he was at University, and the pressure got too much. I have learned now that this is very common. Sometimes he could work himself into such a state that he would get boils on his skin, and there was a time he had such a bad panic attack he nearly drowned in the bath. For two years he could not get on the train or in a car. These are the extremes, but most of the time everything is fine. It’s the small things that often impact your life the most and for me, its knowing that I can’t do normal things like going to festivals with friends, the cinema or crowded places with my boyfriend. Stressful situations I face are often burdens I have to carry alone through fear of not wanting to overwhelm him or my Mum. Sometimes I will be the trigger, and what I have to remember when an anxiety attack takes place is that he loves me, and not to take it personally. I quickly learned that phrases like ‘you will be ok’, and ‘don’t worry’ just antagonises the situation. I now know when to exercise some space, and when to be there. Anxiety is a battle between your mind and, well, your mind- literally. Unfortunately for me, when things get dark, I’ll hear assumptions such as “you’re fine, you don’t understand what depression is”. Someone with mental health issues can sometimes forget that other people can suffer too. Going back to my Mum, for the past 4 years she has been a carer for my Nana who suffers with dementia. My Mum is a trained nurse so it only seemed right for her to go and live with my parents. Although I feel very sad for my nana, it has made me worry more for my Mum who in my opinion, has re-entered her depression. Statistics show that 4 in 10 dementia carers suffer with depression. What’s funny is that my boyfriend always says that my Mum and I have reverse roles. Selfishly, I occasionally find myself getting annoyed with her. Events in my life seem to be of no significance between caring for my nana and feelings of self-pity. It can feel as though I have no one to share my feelings with and as you can imagine, it becomes isolating. The fact is when you are around people with mental health issues, it does impact you and sometimes you feel like you have no one to turn to. Growing up with my mum shaped my character and now I struggle with feelings of low self-worth. As a child I became the class clown to mask any deeper pain. Somehow though, I found a strength within that allows them to lean on me because what I remind myself is that it isn’t their fault but it is also so important to do the things I enjoy for myself too. Without that, I could not be there for them the way they’d need me to be.

Happy SPace

Managing Director Nader Dehdashti

Editorial Vice Managing Director Campaign Manager

Marketing and Branding Graphic Design Secretary Treasurer Issue 3 Writers

Model

Tegan Creedy Hugo Layard Horsfall

Bethan Thomas Alexandra Reading Monica Leaver James Leaver Joshua Creedy Steffi Stone Sophie Thomas Kate Thorne Judith Apps Holly Davies Tom Stevens Sarah Dick

Digital Head of Digital Social Media Managers

Partners and Contributers

Tom Pickup Abs Jacobs Lucy Taylor Vilson Beiqi Roxx London Issie Kinnier Alix Evans Nomad Books

what is happy space? We strive to support and educate young adults, predominantly university students. Our main aims include raising awareness and removing the prejudice surrounding mental illness, specifically depression and anxiety. Reducing the stigma surrounding mental health is of great importance in going some way to enabling open discussion. At Happy Space we believe that mental illness ought never to be fought alone and as such, this is key in the prevention of its onset. ‘Happy Space’ is a self-explanatory name for our organization. We aim to offer university students a space in which they can both freely discuss mental health issues and in which Happy Space nutritionists, psychotherapists and sleep therapists (to name a few of what we consider ‘target’ areas) can offer useful information and advice. To begin, Happy Space will utilise King’s College London as their main ‘hub’, as currently we are in the process of setting up the ‘Happy Space Society’. The Happy Space society will meet weekly. In attendance will be a Happy Space health professional (e.g. a certified nutritionist) whom will be briefed to answer any queries students may have and who it will be possible to have a private conversation with if requested. Furthermore, the Happy Space society will organise events such as free of charge yoga to enable students to partake in health-promoting, mood-lifting group activities.

This is Penny the elephant, she is one of our mascots who strives to find her Happy Space. We hope to use Penny and the rest of her family to help add a little light to an area where a lot of people find dark. To meet the other members of the family, check out our website!

Nader Dehdashti Managing Director

Please take the time to support us and Like us on our facebook and share us with all your friends. Let’s start an epidemic of happiness!

Happy Spacer of the Month!

Frankie Gandy is our Happy Spacer of the term for many reasons. Not only has she been a supporter of Happy Space since it started, she is the true definition of someone who is grabbing life by the balls. After struggling to find her path in life and a trip to heartbreak hotel, Frankie has taken on a number of extreme challenges including a boxing fight and a 40-mile obstacle race. She has now been chosen by the BBC to take part in her hardest challenge yet. A 52 mile run across the Sahara Dessert and a straight swim across the English channel. We salute you Frankie!

Q&A

HS: So, Frankie, you are about to take part in one of the hardest challenges of your life, tell us about it? FG: Hello! Yes I am - I’m going to be running 52miles of the Sahara dessert on October 20th then 2 days later I will be swimming the English Channel! Which I am totally bricking! I’ll be doing this challenge along side 3 other guys and as well as this being filmed by the bbc which makes it 10x more terrifying! But also that much more exciting. HS: What inspired you to start getting fit and taking on all these challenges? FG: I used to have terrible confidence issues, I was always bullied for my size and my looks and it made me so unhappy. I then unfortunately fell in love with my best friend and he made it very clear that not only did he not love me he didn’t care about me at all, we fell into a horrible situation and he dropped me as soon as things got difficult for him. I never wanted anything more than friendship even though my feelings said otherwise and when I needed him most he left me after saying he would always be there and my confidence dropped even more if someone who was meant to be my best-friend didn’t care about me and was embarrassed by me how else must other people feel about me - even my friends and family noticed a massive change in my personality and noticed how unhappy I was and people felt like they were stepping on egg shells, I was even starting to make them unhappy. I decided one day this guy wasn’t worth being that unhappy I needed to make myself feel good again and like I had a purpose which is when I decided to do tough mudder a boxing fight and a 40 mile obstacle race in the space of 3 weeks ! And through out the training for all those things I instantly starting feeling better everyday and like my old self I felt proud of myself and my mind was so much clearer I met amazing people and It made me realise how good and athletic i am and if I put my mind to something I can do anything ! I now feel amazing ! It showed me who my real friends were and that one silly boys opinion of me didn’t matter - and look at me now I have a TV programme being made about me and I realised what I love doing in life And I’ve made people so proud of me. HS: What has been the hardest challenge you have taken on so far and why? FG: Boxing - I cracked two ribs in the training for it and was Knocked out countless times! And getting in a ring introns of hundreds of people and a few of my friends was just so daunting! But I won ! Mind you the last 1 mile of the 40 mile obstacle run was just horrific physically and Mentally I wasn’t on there anymore! But I completed it because I worked my socks off and kept a clear mind and focused on why I was doing this in the first place.

HS: What do you make of people’s attitude towards mental health currently? FG: I hear so many people say things to put mental health down and think it’s so for people to get themselves out of a bad head space but it really isn’t that simple. For me it felt like I constantly had another person in my head telling me how rubbish I was and it was a voice that was impossible to ignore. People need to realise how serious mental health is and how things like happy space and brining awareness to schools are so amazing!

HS: How important is it would you say for students to have relevant information available for coping with mental health? FG: Seriously important! I’ve known friends with depression and I wish I could of picked up on it sooner from knowing more about how people might be dealing with it or what’s signs to look out for and knowing who the right person to tell was! Or just even within myself maybe if I had know a bit more about depression I would of been able to help myself quicker rather than doing all these crazy challenges! I also think it’s really important that children know not to be embarrassed ! I remember when I was approached about seeing a therapist for my problems I instantly kicked off and I was so embarrassed but it was honestly one of he most helpful things in the world and its nothing to be ashamed off! And it’s really important children of all ages know that! HS: What are your top tips for staying happy? FG:My first tip would be finding somethings that makes you happy ! Anything! Something that makes you feel amazing about yourself! Make sure you surround yourself with people who love you! For every 1 person who puts you down there will know doubt be 5 people who will bring you back up ! Find those 5 people and that one person was never worth it! And just most importantly do whatever makes you happy. Never be ashamed of what you love and never be afraid to be selfish and think about yourself at times! HS: Okay and finally, what did you think when we asked you to be our happy spacer of the term? FG: I honestly was so proud of myself! My aim is so inspire people who may have gone through hard times and see the light at the end of the tunnel and hopefully learn from my mistakes and I couldn’t think of a better platform than happy space! What you guys do is honestly incredible and for such young people with so much knowledge to be running it is fantastic. Thank you so much everyone at happy space !! And keep going !!

In a digital world filled with social media posts, blogs and Instagram snaps of what is deemed healthy eating, the question we are left wondering is; are we developing a healthy relationship with food? The truth is, there is no prescriptive right answer, and food can mean different things to different people. However I have tried to cover some of the habits of people with a healthy relationship with food in this article. Image credits: left: Kevin â&#x20AC;&#x153;Closet Cookingâ&#x20AC;? / Food Blogger, Recipe Developer & Photographer / pinterest.com/ClosetCooking // right: Alexandra Reading

A Healthy Relationship with Food They don’t keep problematic foods in the cupboard :

They eat Mindfully :

Removing the temptation to binge on unhealthy foods helps us to stay in control

Our bodies are well designed to tell us when we are hungry and warn us when

of our own eating habits. This is particularly helpful for those who emotionally

we are getting full. Having a healthy relationship with food means paying

eat.

attention to these cues and responding to them. Despite having grown up being told to ‘finish our plates’ we should instead listen to our bodies and stop eating

They allow themselves the time to enjoy food :

when we feel like we have had enough. By doing so, we are less likely to over or under eat.

Sharing a meal can provide us with the opportunity to relax and socialise. Rather than catching a bite on the go, it is beneficial not only mentally to take a break and sit down with friends or family to catch up with their affairs, it can

They Eat Breakfast :

also reduce the amount you consume as slowing down your eating can make you feel full faster.

Breakfast sets up for the day, providing the energy we need to top up the stores used overnight to repair and restore our bodies. A healthy breakfast provides es-

They think of food in moderation not depravation :

sential nutrients that the body needs such as fibre, vitamins, and minerals such as calcium and iron. Research has shown that those who eat breakfast have

Foods are not intrinsically ‘good’ or ‘bad’, and therefore no food should be

more balanced diets than those who skip it. Missing breakfast may increase

forbidden. A healthy relationship with food that is sustainable involves giving

feelings of hunger later on in the day, which could result in snacking on foods

yourself permission to enjoy all foods. Instead of banishing them completely,

that are less healthy.

limit those indulgent foods that are high in fat/ sugar/ salt.

RELATIONSHIPS Why Does History Always Seem To Repeat Itself?

JUDITH C. APPS: COUNSELLOR & PSYCHOTHERAPIST (UKCP, MBACP, Msc, MBA, BA.Hons ) THEEDENPRACTISE.CO.UK 00 44 7775 696361

We live in a world full of other people. Relating to others is often complicated and causes all of us to scratch our heads at times and wonder what is going on/ what has gone on. Why do we seem to be in a place of misunderstanding…? Here the focus is on one aspect of relationships that arises for so many individuals and can be perplexing. Have you heard friends say (or have you even thought this about yourself) “why do my relationships always end the same way?” Why do things start so well and then inexplicably go wrong?”

A case study about Maria (names have been changed) might help to demonstrate what can be going on. Maria reported that she could start many relationships, finding boyfriends and meeting men who she wanted to date wasn’t the issue. She found though that things could be going well for weeks or even months but then something might

“

happen to upset her and she couldn’t quite come back from it. In one instance

the emotional

her boyfriend had cancelled an arrangement at short notice. The anger and upset she felt about the weekend in question seemed out of proportion to the event. She was hurt and felt really low. She felt rejected and almost temporar-

rollercoaster she went

ily disabled by the event. As a capable student she could normally deal with untoward setbacks with an even approach and lots of energy. But not this time. She found it hard to know why one event in what had been a generally good and

through on so many

sound relationship was so destabilising. But looking at her past there were some clues. Her father and mother had split up when she was 6 years old. The split felt hard, although she didn’t really

occasions had left her

understand the issues but she did know that she was due to spend every other weekend with her father. There commenced a process that continued for many years, her father would turn up several hours late on Friday night or would not turn up at all, or, sometimes he wouldn’t turn up for months.

scared, scarred

She had many vivid memories of looking out of the window at each car that

”

& angry.

came down the road, “would the next one be his”. On and on this went, sometimes she felt inconsolable with him not arriving. Hard many years later to actually know what the feelings were exactly, but fear he wasn’t coming at all that night; hope that he would; disappointment when she finally had to accept “not today” and go to bed. And anger. This anger couldn’t be named as a child, but seeing her as a young adult -over time she could name it. She could find a way of saying that although she loved her father the emotional roller coaster that she went through on so many many occasions had left her scared, scarred and angry. How could a grown man do that to a child? She felt that she wasn’t good enough, that he couldn’t love her enough to turn up. It left her wondering what was wrong with her.

So when we spoke about the weekend the boyfriend had cancelled what bubbled

his mother had meant that he could start to take more responsibility for his ac-

up for her was not just the disappointment of that particular date but all the past

tions and could participate more fully and more consciously in the relationship.

let downs and the remembered feelings from her childhood.

Learning to think about his girlfriend’s needs was also new and he was able to take that on.

Realising how this event tapped into her “blue print” for relationships meant

Exploring why we might react to something with disproportionate degrees of

that she could be more aware of what related to the person in the moment, her

emotion can often be helpful in separating our past from our present. We can

current boyfriend and what was pain that she had hung on to from before that

perhaps notice patterns of behaviour that we don’t like or maybe don’t under-

was releasing due to similar circumstances.

stand and it is in the unpicking of the events that led to those emotions and that

Maria could then evaluate some of her other relationships and see again how a

experience that provides choice going forwards.

girlfriend changing arrangements last minute also upset her (as she considered it

If a distinction can be made between “I am upset this is happening now” and “I

to an unreasonable level). Understanding why unreliability causes her so much

realise I am upset with something that is happening now, but this person is ac-

grief meant she could make a conscious decision to take stock of her emotions

tually different from that past when I was so upset” there is a moment of choice.

when something like that happened again and make a choice of letting it af-

Counselling can help you feel you have many complicated relationships/com-

fecting her so badly or trying to see it in the current context – perhaps only one

plex reactions from the past. Or you might find writing thoughts and feelings

small blip in an otherwise sustaining and good relationship.

down can help clear them for you. Or writing a letter to someone from your

When she felt comfortable with her boyfriend she was able to explain why,

past – maybe a parent or family member who has upset you – which you don’t

for her, constancy and explanations were so important. That she needed to

send can be cathartic.

understand why arrangements changed, that she need a full dialogue around

Just becoming aware of the fact that some behaviours can be habits, repeated

them to enable her to still feel safe and wanted. She could release herself from

reactions from past incidents might be enough to help you realise what happens

repeating the same set of aching and upsetting emotions and live relating to the

for you when certain emotions are provoked.

current situation without all of the past pouring in.

Steps for helping you to understand how your past maybe affecting your cur-

This was also true for George. His early life was different from Maria’s, an only

rent relationships:

child he had a doting mother. His mother predicted his every need, was on

Counselling may help. These things can be hard to talk about or even hard

hand to supply all his wants - she made him safe and comfortable. Finding his

to access and having a confidential space with somebody not known to your

way into adult sexual relationships was really difficult. He had an expectation

friends and family is a way of working through issues that can lead to happier

that his girlfriend should know how he was feeling/what he wanted to do/why

and less fraught relationships.

he was in a mood etc etc. Because his mother had met his needs, often without him articulating his requirements it was alien for him to find his girlfriend was “aloof”. He experienced her as aloof, and she said she experienced him as uncommunicative. He didn’t know what she was talking about. Why was she so “difficult” why was she “with holding” from him. George’s blueprint seemed to operate on the basis that others could and would predict how he was and take action accordingly – meet his needs without necessarily any communication. This was bound to lead to disappointment.

Judith Apps A councellor & psychotherapist working with young adults and adults. Experience in the NHS and private practise.

He was expecting a separate

different person with their own world to focus exclusively on him and what he wanted without making any demands of their own. Realising that perhaps a relationship is a sharing and mutually supportive activity was a new concept. One for which he didn’t know the rules. But becoming aware that every other person close to him would not behave the way

How To Be Happy, Single. HOW BEING SINGLE CAN MAKE YOU COMPLETE: HOLLY “Relationship hopscotch.” Phrase: Hopping from one relationship straight into another, before you’ve even had a chance to land both feet safely on the ground. Hands up if you’ve played that game? Me. I watch friends who are doing it now. And I’m not about to tell them not to because, it’s their lesson to learn, their journey to make and their heart to break… and here comes my opinion anyway. Time alone is important. And I don’t just mean alone as in let’s run a bath and have some real candlelit ‘me-time’ alone (although that is very nice too)… I mean, ALONE, as in, without partner, boyfriend, girlfriend. Single. I can only speak from experience, and coming from a girl who has just spent eight months being single after thirteen years of playing relationship hopscotch, I can tell you now – time alone is important. So here are my three top nuggets of wisdom I’ve accumulated during my ‘alone time’: 1) Being selfish is not actually selfish. It’s a necessity. We don’t realise just how much energy we give to our partners. Even when we’re not physically together, they occupy a lot of brain and heart space, which doesn’t always leave much for us, and can mean we end up neglecting ourselves. Having time alone allows us the chance to be selfish, work out who we are and what we want from life. Selfishness is generally seen in society as a negative – all this ‘put others before yourself’ business – no. Just, no. Being selfish is The One. Totally necessary. I’m not saying ‘f*** you, the last Rolo’s mine’ kind of selfish, I’m just saying it’s so important to make decisions based on what’s best for you, not because you think it’s what’s best for them. Only they know what’s best for them. We didn’t come here to live other people’s lives. Looking after number one first means you can look after number two better. Putting them first doesn’t make you a better partner… In fact, that sh*t actually ends up boomeranging right back on you both. Be selfish, work on yourself, and fill your space up with you. 2) It’s not their responsibility to make us happy. That’s our job. Chances are, if we jump straight from one relationship to another, it could be because we’re looking to someone else to make us happy, unconsciously searching outside of ourselves. We place responsibility on our partners to make us happy, and it ends up just making us sad. It’s no one other than our responsibility to make

us happy, and it all starts with self love. Cheese on toast, but a simple truth. Having time by ourselves throws up a lot of surprises that would probably take a lot longer to realise being in a relationship, and a really big one for me was learning that I didn’t completely love or believe in myself. If you don’t love yourself, how can you love another person the way they deserve? The best advice I can give here is, don’t use someone else to fill a hole – learn to be content by yourself, and then the right person will just enhance your happiness, not be responsible for it. 3) We attract what we are. Probably one of the biggest and hardest relationship lessons I’ve had to learn since becoming single is that we attract to us what we are. This can be a difficult one to get your head around. Do you find yourself blaming them? Trying to change them? Wishing they’d act or behave in a way that suited you better? Time to take a look in the mirror. Or rather, just look at your partner, because every piece of good and bad we see in them is a reflection of what we already have inside of us. This can be a hard thing to accept – at first, I didn’t want to believe that the ‘negative’ things I noticed in others existed in me. But whether we like it or not, the external world is always a reflection of our internal world. When you’re faced with qualities you don’t like, see it as an opportunity to look at yourself. In the words of Jim Rohn, “don’t wish it could be easier, wish that you could be better.” Which is a whole separate topic for another time. So for now, look to change yourself before you can expect to see a change in someone else. Being on our own gives us the time to become the best version of ourselves, so that we can attract the same person towards us. Become the person you want to attract. If we move on immediately to another relationship without any breathing space, unknowingly discontent in our own company, chances are, our next partner will be exactly the same. And that rarely leads to a happy ever after situation. Yes, it can be hard and lonely and scary being alone after a relationship ends, and it’s pretty natural to want to look to someone else to help soften the blow! Being on my own filled me with anxiety for months, but I knew it was necessary if I was to ever be truly happy. The relationship hopscotch pattern needed to be broken. And getting to the other side is incredibly empowering. We need breathing space between partners to turn the focus inside and work on the most important relationship we could ever possibly have; the one with ourselves, which is so often forgotten about. Once you’re in a good place with yourself and the internal work is being done, the right person will appear at the right time. Someone who loves themselves too, and is able to love you right back, the way you deserve. Someone who sees the greatness in you because they’ve worked to be great themselves. And someone who doesn’t call you

6 THR IFT Y TIPS - for university -

Top Money Saving Tips, To You - From Us. 6 TIPS TO MAKE YOUR MONEY GO FURTHER AT UNIVERSITY : TOM STEVENS

University. For some it’s the chance to get their head down and hit the books, making the most of their many years’ of slaving in a classroom. For others, it’s one big party culminating in questionable looks from your neighbours over the amount of bottles in your recycling and a hangover to last into your thirties. But whether you’re a thinker or a drinker, there’s one issue affecting us all during this time of freedom – money. It can be a source of great pain during your University experience and can be the beginnings of some extremely good (or extremely bad!) habits. With that in mind, here’s 6 tips to make your money go further and prove to Mum and Dad that you’re not quite as useless with money as they might think…

Invest –

We all know how stressful University can be. With exams always looming and the late night struggles against coursework, it can be very easy to get into a habit of buying lunch (and dinner) on campus or at a local café, and this will cost you a fortune. Head down to the shops and buy yourself some plastic storage containers to take lunch in with you the next day. Sure, it’s an initial expenditure, but it will save you a shed-load of money in the long run. No more £5.99 sandwiches for you! 2) Dominos is not your friend – Okay, hands up all those who start to salivate at the thought of ordering takeaway pizza? All of you? Right. Well consider this – if a takeaway pizza costs you £10 and you have one a week, that’s a whopping £1,500 on pizza during a 3 year degree! I’ll let that settle in for a minute. So, try having one every 2 weeks and save yourself £750. Make the leap to once a month and that’s £1125 you’ll save yourself. Food for thought…

4) Teramundi Pot – Something I stumbled across a long time before I went off to University was a Teramundi put. Put simply, it’s a ceramic piggy bank (for lack of a better term) that requires you to smash it to get the money out, so you can’t dip into it during the week. By putting a few quid in now and then, you’ll soon have enough money to splash on your end of year fun.

5) Keep an eye out for deals – A short while ago, some lad decided to fly home via Berlin all in the name of saving £8. Okay, that’s quite an extreme measure but the message from him is clear – there’s often a cheaper way. Make use of vouchers for freebies and keep an eye out on Facebook groups designed for deals, such as ’10 ways to have more money as a student’. A lot of the deals you’ll hear about won’t help you, but occasionally you’ll come across an absolute gem and it might just save you enough to have a free pint on a Friday. 6) Netflix and… save? – Hard to believe, but there will be some people out there who still don’t use Netflix ( I know I know, I don’t want to be friends with them either). But if you’re in a shared house at University, it may well be a wise investment as a replacement for a TV. TV licences aren’t cheap and most of what’s shown is frankly, rubbish. So get a joint house Netflix account, split the cost multiple ways and get ready to, erm…. chill?

3) Leave the card at home – Even if you’re a dedicated book worm during your time at University, there will be the inevitable night out that results in a horrifying number displayed at the top of your bank balance in the morning. The easiest way to avoid this is to make the decision on how much you’ll spend before you head out. Take out the cash you’re willing to blow on booze and leave your bank card at home. Voilà. No more surprise statements.

â&#x20AC;&#x153; We can change the world, when we simply meet the needs of another. â&#x20AC;? - Kristen Welch

Happy Reads Earlier this year, a friend recommended I read a book that he insisted had changed his life. Now, I had just graduated from university with a degree in English and at this point had read far more than my fair share of books. Yet, not one could I say had permanently altered my outlook or approach to life for the better. Needless to say, I was a little sceptical. How could a book of less than 200 pages have such a profound effect? However, my friend is not one to make grand declarations, so I agreed to give it a go. And the book changed my life, too.

“ thought-provoking, & motivating ”

Man’s Search for Meaning is written by Viktor Frankl, a prominent Viennese psychiatrist. The first half focuses mostly on Frankl’s experiences in concentration camps, including Auschwitz, during World War Two. Often these insights are harrowing, and the adversity that Frankl lived through is almost inconceivable. Yet, his candidness provides a certain weight to his observations - as he says himself, he is qualified to write on the subject of happiness not only through his medical degree and psychiatric experience, but because he has, first hand, experienced “the unexpected extent to which man is capable of defying and braving even the worst conditions conceivable.” Still, Man’s Search for Meaning does not take on a condescending tone, an “I lived through this so you should be okay”. In fact, Frankl makes it very clear that “the ‘size’ of human suffering is absolutely relative” and consequently his book is relatable to everyone searching for inspiration, or confirmation, that vitality and satisfaction is absolutely within their grasp. It is in the second half of the book that Frankl offers the lessons he learned through his experiences. This is done so in the form “Logotherapy” - namely the belief that man’s primary and innate drive is not, as Freud insisted, pleasure, but the knowledge, and pursuit, of what one finds meaningful. To put it simply, “He who has a why to live for can bear almost any how.” This is not to say suffering is necessary to find meaning in one’s life – not at all. Similarly, it is not to suggest that someone with depression (for example) can “choose” to be happy. Rather, it promotes the concept that despite uncontrollable circumstances, there is still an element of control in how you respond to them – when we can “no longer change a situation… we are [instead] challenged to change ourselves.” A result of this transformation is self-reflection, which enables an understanding of what is important to you, and where your values lie. This, in turn, provides the powerful knowledge of what life means to you - love for your family, a partner, your friends, the desire to fulfil an as-yetunachieved goal, to travel, to educate - and the ability to pursue it. This is the meaning to your life and it is within your grasp. Man’s Search for Meaning is thought-provoking, motivating and challenges many previous thoughts regarding man’s resolve in difficult circumstances. It encourages the discovery and pursuit not of hedonistic pleasure, but the stimulating and fulfilling elements of life that inspire survival, human relationships and happiness. I’d like to finish this article with my favourite quote from this wonderful little book, with the hopes that it inspires you as much as it did me. “Don’t aim at success – the more you aim at it and make it a target, the more you are going to miss it. For success, like happiness, cannot be pursued; it must ensure, and it only does so as the unintended side-effect of one’s personal dedication to a cause greater than oneself”. In other words, pursue what you love, and you will fall in love with the life you lead.

“ Your life is a canvas... make sure you paint yourself a whole lot of colourful days. ”