A Really Quite Peculiar Pet

Mariah lives in the flat next to ours. Her mum’s been unwell for some time now, but she hasn’t told the teacher.

Everyone thinks detention is the bad kids. The kids who don’t know better. The kids who do the wrong thing.

Everyone says detention is the good-for-binning just-don’t-listen amount-to-nothing kids.

But really, it’s just Jackson, Mariah, and me: trying not to fiddle, in the stifling demountable heat.

I don’t like yappy puppies, and kittens make me sneeze. A fish, well, you can’t cuddle it, and mice give me the creeps.

A rabbit, that’s just boring, and birds are made to fly. Plus, I don’t want a normal pet. Let me tell you why.

I really want a quirky pet that’s mythical and weird. A cat that’s not, cause it has scales. A turtle with a beard!

A unicorn, a giraffe with wings, or a dragon might be my thing: an oh-wow-that’s-peculiar pet, like no-one’s ever seen.

It could be a Loch Ness monster from the murky Scottish deep, or a double-headed hippo. (Not the hungry kind though, please!)

I could own a horse-sized butterfly that soars me across the skies, a sequinned frillneck lizard, or a piglet that breathes fire.

I’ve read about the bridge-trolls who eat billy-goats for lunch.

I don’t think I’d tame one of those: I’m frightened of their crunch!

A polka-dotted zebra, a rainbow chimpanzee, a vegan pterodactyl could be the perfect pet for me.

Something out-of-ordinary, no other kid here has.

I want an oh-my-goodness-gracious wowee-me-what’s-that?

But you know what?

I found a garden snail, I call her Sleepy Nell. I keep her in an ice-cream tub, with rocks and leaves as well.

I make sure that it’s damp inside, and she has enough to eat. I even poked some holes in it, to make sure she can breathe.

And I stuck some tiny stickers, glittering, on her shell. They look like sparkling silver jewels. I brought her in for show-and-tell.

I said she was a magic snail from a secret fairy world. My teacher said, ‘That’s quite a tale!’ But you know, I think it worked!

The other kids looked so impressed, all boggle-eyed and shocked. And now I have a secret real-life magic-pet-that’s-not.

Not a jumpy, yappy puppy, or a cat that makes me sneeze, or a fish that I can’t cuddle, or a mouse that gives the creeps.

I have a quite unusual pet that’s mythical and strange: just from my imagination, and some stickers, careful-placed.

I have an oh-my-goodness-gracious, wowee-me-what’s-that: a really quite peculiar pet, that no-one else has got!

Sulk

Sitting on my bed, Under Mum’s orders: ‘Learn your lesson! Karate stays in class!’