OU T OF CO NT RO L!
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ALSO BY ELISE GRAVEL Olga: We’re Out of Here! Olga and the Smelly Thing from Nowhere The Cranky Ballerina I Want a Monster!
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OU T OF CO NT RO L !
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Olga: Out of Control! Copyright © 2019 by Elise Gravel All rights reserved. Manufactured in China. No part of this book may be used or reproduced in any manner whatsoever without written permission except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles and reviews. For information address HarperCollins Children’s Books, a division of HarperCollins Publishers, 195 Broadway, New York, NY 10007. www.harpercollinschildrens.com ISBN 978-0-06-235132-6 The artist used Photoshop to create the digital illustrations for this book. Typography by Elise Gravel, Dana Fritts, and Andrea Vandergrift 19 20 21 22 23 SCP 10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1 ❖ First Edition
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To Jill Davis, Olga's other mom
S A LU T !
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Welcome to my latest notebook. My name is Olga. You might be familiar with me since I’m the kid who discovered a fascinating new animal species:
TH E
2
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Here’s what I know about her so far:
1. SHE LIKES TO SLEEP IN A GARBAGE CAN.
2. SHE SMELLS
BAD.
MEH.
3. SHE
LOVES
TO
4. SHE
CUDDLE .
5. SHE’S
NICER
ONLY
EATS
OLIVES .
THAN MOST
HUMANS. AN N OYIN G H U M AN S
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EXHIBIT A SH O RT PI N K FU ZZY FU R
D LY D U C , T F SO B O DY
LOTS
MEH.
OF GAS
A D O RAB L E
G IA N T
FAC E
AP P E TIT E
My specimen is an adorable female that I named Meh because of the sound she makes all the time.
COW SAY
M OO!
S
CAT SAYS M EOW!
OLGAMUS SAYS
MEH.
4
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I used to be a lonely kid. My only friend was my spider, Rita, who lives under the sink.
SALU T
* SHE SPEAKS ONLY
*
FRENCH .
But since I discovered Meh, my life has changed for the better. I used to think that animals were the only friends I would ever make. I made this bar graph to compare my feelings for humans and animals. Not hard to guess who the winner is!
LOVE FELT
HUMANS
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ANIMALS
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I still think that animals are way cooler than humans. If I was given the chance to redesign the human body, I’d give us more animal features.
WINGS
FANGS
SCALES
WEBBED
LONG
FLUFFY TAILS
SONAR
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NIGHT
FEET
VISION
RETRACTABLE
CLAWS
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Because of Meh I began to go out and meet interesting humans. She gave a purpose to my life.
G R U M PY
MY ONLY FRIEND
CH U CK
MR. HOOPAH
T H E L AL AS
MS. SWOOP
M IST E R
7
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Life with Meh is chock-full of amazing discoveries, but the latest one is by far the biggest. I opened my fridge yesterday to find her snuggled among a bunch of
O LI V ES
8
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Seven of them, to be precise.
THEY LOOK LIKE
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I don’t know about you, but finding seven baby Olgamuses in my fridge is not something that happens to me every day!
THAT DON’T HAPPEN TO ME
RIDING A
RHINO
WA N T A P EP P ER M IN T, SW E ETIE ?
SEEING A
FLYING GRANDMA
FINDING A $100 BILL IN MY OWN EAR 10
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I think I could say without exaggerating that yesterday was the most exciting (and exhausting) day of my life.
11
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And they were
So delicate, so tiny, so weird looking! How I itched to pick one up to look at it more closely, but when I got my hand too close to them, Meh didn’t like it one bit.
SH H,
IT’S OKAY, MEH .
1: MAMA OLGAMUS ES DON’T LIKE IT WHEN WE TRY TO TOUCH THEIR BABIES. 12
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Some of my friends were at my house with me when I discovered the babies. They were as fascinated as I was.
OH MY GOD, ARE
THEY
SO CUTE!
YEAH, WE CAN KIND OF SEE THEIR ORGANS THROUGH THEIR SKIN.
SO COOL!
THEY LOOK LIKE J ELLYFISH WRAPPED IN
TRANSPARENT RUBBER!
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We spent a few minutes watching them quietly. Then one of my friends, Farla, got a funny look on her face and screamed:
EWW W,
OLGA! YOUR FRIDG E IS GRO SS. DO YOU THINK IT’S HEALTHY FOR THE BABIE S?
I call Farla and her sister, Shalala, the Lalas. They’re sort of my frenemies, and they have a tendency to notice yucky things and are easily disgusted. I find this annoying, but I guess they have other good qualities. 14
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Plus, they were right about the fridge. It was HORRIFYING.
G O O EY LEAKS! I’m not very good at cleaning. Like many scientists, I’m very busy with my research, and sometimes cleaning ends up at the bottom of my priority list. Anyway, my fridge is usually pretty empty. Yesterday, though, it was not. 15
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A
LIMP
3 LEFTOVER
PIZZA CRUSTS
CARROT
SOME HOT SAUCE THAT NO LIVING CREATURE COULD EVER EAT
THAT TURNED INTO
FOSSILS
A BUNCH OF
UNIDENTIFIED
BLOBS
A
PUDDLE OF
UNKNOWN ORIGIN AND
DEADLY SMELL
IN JARS A BUNCH OF CELERY THAT APPEARS TO BE GROWING ROOTS ARE TH EY ALIVE?
(OR LEGS TO ESCAPE?)
STUFF I KEEP JUST SO I CAN OBSERVE IT UNDER DEER POOP MOLDY DEAD I FOUN D I N THE MICROSCOPE BUGS YOGURT THE WOODS
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It was cleanup time, all right. We got rid of a bunch of junk, wiped down the glass shelves using some Windex and a sponge, and cleared a whole shelf out for Meh and the babies.
17
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THERE! THAT’S
MUCH BETTER!
I WONDER WHY MEH CHOSE THE
REFRIGERATOR. IT DOESN’T LOOK
VERY COZY.
I HAVE SOMETHING AT HOME THAT MIGHT BE GOOD.
BE BACK IN A BIT!
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Chuck came back with the dog bed that Mister used as a baby.
THERE YOU GO, MEH! GLAD SOMEONE IS GOING TO USE THIS
OLD THING AGAIN.
I didn’t want to pick the babies up and disturb the little family, so I gently closed the fridge door and waited to see if Meh would transfer her babies to the cozy shelf.
2: ”COZY" AND ”FRIDGE" ARE NOT FREQUENTLY USED TOGETHER IN THE SAME SENTENCE. 19
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While we waited, I opened my notebook and wrote down four OBSERVATIONS:
3: BABY OLGAMU S ES
THEIR SKIN IS
NEED A COLD ENVI RON M ENT.
TRANSLUCENT,
THEY SEEM TO NURSE LIKE KITTENS OR PUPPIES, BUT I’M
SO WE CAN SEE THEIR ORGANS.
MAMA OLGAMUS ES ARE
VERY PROTECTIVE OF THEIR BABIES.
NOT SURE. D OW D OW D OW!
This notebook is going to fill up pretty quickly! Oh, how I wish I could see right through the fridge door! I’d just spend every minute looking at the babies. 20
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DO YOU HAVE ENOUG H OLIV ES FOR MEH? NURSI NG MOTH ERS NEED TO EAT WELL , I THINK .
YOU’RE RIGHT-I SHOULD GET MORE. LET’S GO TO
MR. HOOPAH’S STORE. I’M STARVING TOO.
Any excuse to go to Mr. Hoopah’s store is good. I love that place. 22
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What I’ve found recently at
CANNED
REAL LIVE
ACORN
CARNIVOROUS
SOUP
PLANTS
CHICKENSHAPED
CHICKEN BROTH
FRAGRANCE
EDIBLE
LAMPS
AND THE MOST IMPORTANT: MR. HOOPAH, A NICE, FRIENDLY, HELPFUL HUMAN
FORKS AND SPOONS
HOW CAN I HELP YOU TODAY, LOYAL CUSTOMERS? *
* MR. HOOPAH IS
ALWAYS
VERY FORMAL.
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We told him about the baby Olgamuses. He was very excited.
THAT IS MOST WONDERFUL! SEVEN BABIES? CONGRATULATIONS TO THE MAMA! I MUST GIVE HER A PRESENT. I THINK I HAVE JUST WHAT SHE NEEDS. KINDLY WAIT A MINUTE.
24
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Mr. Hoopah disappeared into the back of the store, which seems like the most mysterious place. It must be full of treasures like Ali Baba’s cave. I sometimes wonder if he lives there.
Y I MAG I NATI ON M ) (I N
25
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He came back quickly carrying a giant jar. He looked very proud.
THIS IS OUR LATEST IMPORTATION. I HAVEN’T HAD A CHANCE TO TASTE THEM YET, BUT I HOPE YOUR FRIEND MEH WILL APPRECIATE THEM. MY TREAT!
26
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I thanked him and took the jar, and we were about to leave when I felt my stomach grumble. Chuck, the Lalas, and I looked around for interesting snacks. Here were some of our choices:
MARINATED
PINECONE
SMOKED-OYSTER
HEARTS
MUFFINS
MANGO AND HAM
VEGETARIAN
POPSICLES
CHICKEN WINGS
MAC-AND-CHEESE-FLAVORED INSTANT RAMEN SOUP
FRIED JELLYFISH CHIPS
27
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Of course, I went for the mac-and-cheese-flavored ramen. The others picked their own snacks (fried jellyfish chips for Shalala, crab cakes for Farla, and vegetarian chicken wings for Chuck), and then Farla asked me if I wanted to go sit at the picnic table outside the store with them.
I’D LOVE TO, FRIENDS, BUT I REALLY NEED TO GO BACK TO CHECK ON THE BABIES.
28
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At home, I set my snack down on the table, washed my hands, and opened the fridge door to take one last look at the babies before going to bed. They were quiet, half asleep, and so was Meh. I played them a little lullaby on the ukulele that I composed on the spot. I felt very inspired.
SLEEP TIGHT, BABY OLGIES , SLEEP TIGHT, COLD, AND COZY. NEXT TO THIS BROCCOLI AND THE JAR OF WASABI.
Then I went to sleep right next to the fridge, on the floor. I had totally forgotten to eat my mac and cheese. 29
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4: TAKING CARE OF NEWBORNS WILL MAKE A GAL FORGET ABOUT HER OWN NEEDS. I woke up early in the morning and cleaned up the rest of the kitchen as best as I could. From what I know, newborns are vulnerable to infections and viruses. Their environment has to be kept clean.
!* * FUN GAME : TRY TO SAY THAT 10 TIMES QUICKLY. 30
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Normally, I would hate doing all this cleaning, but I didn’t mind. Why? Because it was
31
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At around eight a.m., Meh called to me from inside the fridge. I opened the door, and she jumped out.
GOOD MOR NING ,
MEH!
DID YOU GET SOME GOOD REST ? HOW ARE YOUR BABI ES TODAY ?
MEH. OH,
REALLY?
MEH. AW ESOM E.
5: PET, YOU HAVE FASCI NATI N G CO N V ERSATI O N S . WHEN LIVING WITH A
32
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Meh ran to her food bowl and started wolfing down her olives. She seemed to enjoy the bacon-wrapped olives as much as Mr. Hoopah thought she would.
MEH’S VERY ELEGANT
EATING STYLE While she was eating, I took a look at the babies. They were all squirming around. Without Meh right there, it was easier to get a closer look. 33
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I will draw them here so you can take a look too:
LE TI N Y ALIILTST
EYES
T
SHUT
COLORFUL ORGANS THROUGH THE TRANSLUCENT SKIN
6: NEWBORN OLGAMUS ES ALL LOOK THE SAME! 34
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Meh came back and sat next to me for a minute. I took some time to pet her, hug her, and tell her how proud I was of her big accomplishment. After all, giving birth is a huge deal!
YOU DID A GOOD JOB, SWEETIE.
She was quickly shedding her extra pregnancy weight, but she still looked tired.
MEH BEFORE GIVING BIRTH
MEH AFTER GIVING BIRTH 35
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She hopped back on the shelf, snuggled with her babies, and started making her purring sound again. She sounded a little bit like a dishwasher. She looked so happy and so proud. I took a photo on my phone.
36
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I closed the fridge door to let the new family have a rest. But then I didn’t know what to do next. I felt a bit restless. So I kept myself busy by writing down a few observations I’d come up with:
7:
MEH CARRIES HER BABIES BY GRABBING THEM BY THEIR SKINNY TAILS.
THE BABIES’
FEEDING SCHEDULE: THEY SEEM TO NURSE ALL THE TIME.
THE BABIES CAN’T WALK . THEY CAN’T OPEN THEIR EYES. AND THEY DON’T MAKE ANY NOISE.
37
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SPRING ROLLS
BABY OLGAMUS
CUTENESS
X
XXX
TASTE
XXX
NO DATA
LEVEL OF ENERGY
O
O
SMELL
YUMMY
NOT YUMMY
SIZE
TINY BURRITO
TINY BURRITO
38
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I spent the rest of the evening feeding Rita dead flies I found on the windowsill. I like Rita, but she’s not the most talkative companion. (Sorry, Rita)
MERCI
POUR LES MOUCHES!
I can’t wait until the babies get a little
39
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Cleaning water bowls is fine, but I wanted to find a more helpful way to support Meh in her new life. Of course, I couldn’t nurse the babies, so I felt useless. There is one thing I do really well, and that is RESEARCH. I mean, there are other things I do well, too, like:
EATING MAC AND CHEESE
MATH
WITH PICKLES DRAWING
OLGAMUS ES
CLIMBING TREES
DAYDREAMING
But I’m not sure these skills would help Meh much. 41
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I decided to go to the library and get some books about how to take care of newborns. Sure, I could always do research online on my computer, but I really like the library because it has:
PEACE
N EW CO MI C BO OKS
AND
QUI ET
And above all, my friend Ms. Swoop, the nicest librarian ever, was at her desk today.
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HEY, OLGA! I’M SO HAPPY TO SEE YOU. WHERE’S MEH? I HOPE SHE’S NOT SICK?
AWWW, THAT’ S SO
WON DERF UL!
ARE THEY ALL HEALT HY?
NO, NO, SHE’S FINE. BUT SHE JUST HAD BABIES! LOOK!
YES! BUT THEY’RE SO LITTLE. I CAN’T HELP WORRYING! I WANT TO LEARN ABOUT THE BABIES.
LET’S SEE WHAT WE CAN
FIND OUT!
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Ms. Swoop and I found only one book from the grownups section:
“Hmm,” she said. “We only have this book about caring for human babies. I was hoping to find a book about baby hamsters or golden retrievers, but we don’t have any here.” 44
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I spent the whole afternoon studying everything there is to know about human newborns. There was nothing in there about caring for animal babies, but I still had a fun time reading it.
NEWBORN BABY HEADS ARE ONE-FOURTH OF THEIR TOTAL WEIGHT. IF GROWN-UPS HAD THE SAME PROPORTIONS AS BABIES, THEIR HEADS WOULD BE AS BIG AS
MICROWAVE OVENS. NEWBORNS HAVE MORE BONES THAN ADULTS. WHEN THEY GROW, SOME OF THOSE BONES
MUTANT
BONE
FUSE TOG ETHER TO MAKE LARGER BONES. 45
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IN THE WOMB, BABIES ARE ENTIRELY
COVERED IN HAIR.
IN THE WOMB, THEY THEIR OWN PEE.
DRINK
NEWBORN BABIES CAN HOLD THEIR BREATH
UNDER WATER. *
IF BABIES’ GROWTH RATE CONTINUED AT THE SAME RATE AS THEIR FIRST YEAR, THEY WOULD B E GIANTS BY THE TIME THEY BECAME ADULTS.
, MY, MY YO U ’ V E
G R O WCNH! SO M U
* DON’T TRY THIS AT HOME. 46
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