My Best-friend by Harshwardhan Nehra

My Best Friend - XIX

For a friend I stopped talking: I'm sorry for being so selfish to tell you how I felt. the bird desperately flew from its burning nest. I'm sorry for my words If only I knew how upset you will be to keep so much distance away from me I'm sorry for being so triggering for the lies, I told you and myself, reaching for fake 'positivity' and nothing else I'm sorry for being so intense, nothing in my mind made any sense. blinded by feelings to know it was too much. But. I'm angry that you can't glimpse my pain, after confessing, this situation couldn't be a greater shame. From caring so much to anger and distance apart. Just waiting, one day, for your message to ease my heart.

My Best Friend - XIX

I've upset you; I know. I value your feelings over my own. I miss my dear friend and nothing more Not a day passes where I'm truly happy, knowing that you're so upset with me to ignore. Forgive me you had to put up with something like me I'm so sorry, will you please come back to me?

My Best Friend - XIX

My Best Friend

Once was here now is gone I will always love forever the laughs the tears the smiles without her my life has no direction no ups nor downs no smiles or frowns I miss her I cry I see her I lie whatever went wrong I can mend I will always love forever my best friend

My Best Friend - XIX

Remember this Wherever you go You were You are You will Always be my bestest friend

My Best Friend - XIX

Here is the gift Of all the gifts I could give you, I choose to give the ones I needed when I was in my darkest moments. You see, we all walk different paths, but there is one tragedy that all of us share: the struggle to be ourselves in a world that wants us to be anything but ourselves. Here is the gift of understanding when you are in a roomful of people looking right past the pain inside of you. Here is the gift of me too when you feel that you are the only one who thinks and feels the way you do. Here is the gift of kindness when the world bundles up its heartlessness and throws it at.

My Best Friend - XIX

Unrequited Here I am taking my steps to tell you; that you don't have to love me back—as I offer you mine You are allowed not to give your smiles But don't let me hear your mellifluous laugh just to complete my day And if you want to walk away? You may— Please don't stare back as I deeply look at your eyes You're just giving me access to your paradise Stop touching me as your soft hands will just burn my skin I stop wanting to hear the sounds of your footsteps As you excitedly walking unto me It makes me deaf unknowingly All that I can hear are theirs, and not your story I don't want to see those tasteless looking lips of yours As it feeds me the urge to taste it So, my love, please conceal your presence when I am near Like phantom hiding in the dark spectating at me Even though you're not giving me the feeling of fear The thought of you is causing me tears.

My Best Friend - XIX

Her Smile What makes me walk through miles. Sublime in delight, her effortless smile. What ponders in my heart? What wanders in her soul? That which awestruck her art. And that which makes you haul. How far they seem to be. Rather close in thoughts of me. What thy hearts hide. A dream vast and beautiful that reside. They seem so effortless. All that smile, measureless. What makes thy eyes so generous? All that within, your smile effortless

My Best Friend - XIX

If If you want to hold on, Hold on tight enough that the rope doesn't slip away If not then just, Let go. It will, in the end, find its way If you want to finish, Just finish it with one single powerful blow If not then please, Don't try fading it away slowly it's not a show If you don't love me, Just say so and I will never ask you again then If you do then, Stop acting weird and sometimes so distant I will rather be rejected, Then being in this game of come and go I will rather be hurt now, Then being much more hurt when it would grow

My Best Friend - XIX

If you want to go, Go away now or tell me to run I will never come back But if you don't, Stop stepping back slowly away from the things we had If you want to walk, Walkthrough the straight path away from me If you don't, Then don't trap me in this maze of unfree If you don't love me, Don't hesitate in telling me, tell me now Give me the answer, Stop making it a guessing game I can't guess anyhow

My Best Friend - XIX

But But I am not sure how I feel It's so complicated it looks like a reel I loved you from the starting I had no pointed conditions marking But you didn't feel the same You don't know how much I felt lame Now you say you want me too Now you don't hesitate in saying 'I love you But why didn't you say so then Why did you want to stay far from me then? Now when after years I decided to give up You are here asking me for a loving cup You know I am just a simple girl I can't take your all boy's turn All the feeling you have given me

My Best Friend - XIX

How can you expect me to directly see? I want to hold on to the rope But my hands are full of liquid soap I want to keep the fire burning But the wind from my side is running I don't want to walk away from you But my mind can't decide who are you The person who never loved me Or the person who loves me unconditionally When you dropped me in the maze? You didn't have any type of haze But now it's your turn I can't help I promise I will come after you finish whelp

My Best Friend - XIX

why am I crying? Every message from your name, Send shivers up to my face, As I lay in this forlorn place, My mind slows from its race, I wish these thoughts would leave me alone, Leave me to be here as I groan, Moaning silently as tears lose control, Please just come into my home, I have to wonder if you ever wonder, What we could be looking over yonder, I confess I often sit and I ponder, It never seems to make me feel stronger, Dance with me and I'll sing, Don't listen too close to my vocal sting, I promise I'll be bounding like a spring, Just after I lift you from this swing,

My Best Friend - XIX

I don't know why I feel so dry, Please excuse me as my eyes cry, Wait a moment... Why am I crying?

My Best Friend - XIX

Bonded by Blood Darling, you should live for me, I'm craving for your taste. Still, blood rushes fast, When I cling to your waist. I'm such a sucker for you, But I'm sorry to say, Everything I said is literal, I'm a leech on your way!

My Best Friend - XIX

SORRY I'm sorry for I love you You were so important I can't care anyone's account All I need is a little bit of your discount I'm sorry for I miss you I can't wait for so long I need you like my song With you, I know I belong I'm sorry I tear you up Loving you was hard when fear occurred I'm sorry but insecurity won't be cured Thoughts that's like current, always lured I'm sorry for too much But I'm longing for your affection Seeking much for your attention That you can't give - opposite intention

My Best Friend - XIX

I'm sorry for reasons A reason that I can't blame A reason so selfish to name But it's all I had to ease this lame I'm sorry for regrets A responsibility to be own But somehow, I built reason Now I regret what I have shown I'm sorry for the roots I know it's much of me to find in the rain Just to have you and maintain The love, my purpose and the main I'm sorry for sorry A word of guilt when not say A debt I want to pay My only words than 'hey' I'm sorry for your thoughts

My Best Friend - XIX

I can't stop thinking This film that keeps playing Like my mind had my own taping I'm sorry is all I can say For a love that spills so far away

My Best Friend - XIX

/// I was so lost, wandering through life. Unwilling or unable to move past all that had happened before. Stuck, as if frozen in time, clinging to pain and darkness as if it was all I had left. But you knew the way. You taught me to forget. You replaced those memories. You stood next to me when everyone else ran away. How will I ever express the debt I can never repay? You fixed me. You rescued me from me. You showed me that no matter how hard it rained, we could always move past the pain. You restored my hope in the world, pulled me back from the edge of a cliff and made me smile as I had never smiled before. From the first time I saw you, I loved you and you unlocked my heart with that first kiss. You were exactly what I needed at exactly the right time. I wish circumstances would have been different. Oh, what I would give to have things turn out differently but we both know that can never happen. There is a part of my soul that will never heal from having let you into my life. I wonder if I will ever be able to feel completely whole again without that piece of me, but I would never ask for it back. I would live in pain forever before risking an existence without the memory of you.

My Best Friend - XIX

RAIN I think of you when it rains. When it rains, I remember how I used to string chords on my ukulele. When you sang along to every one direction song. And the raindrops falling on the roof came to join us in perfect harmony. When it rains, I recall how you used to put my hand between your hands and rub them together to keep me warm. And the warmth of your smile sent shivers down my spine. When it rains, I think of how we made the world ours. When we claim the streets as we swayed and danced and skipped on every puddle. Like, little kids. And the rain and thunder gave us a lovely beat. I think of you when it rains. When it rains, I remember how we cut the strings on my ukulele. And deleted all the one direction songs on my playlist because

My Best Friend - XIX

every sound I heard reminded me of the sounds of your footsteps. Walking away from me that day. When it rains, I recall how I placed my hands under the shower for hours to erase every trace of you. And the coldness of the running water couldn't even match how cold my heart was because you've put out its fire. When it rains, I think of how my world crumbled down to pieces. I lock myself in my room and I couldn't even move. You left me with nothing but this whole storm inside my heart. There was lightning and thunder. And the entire sky cried and cried. So, did I. I think of you when it rains. Oh God, it rains all the time. I think of you when it rains. I think of you when it rains. Finally, and finally, drought has come.

My Best Friend - XIX

Heart of coal Sparks really can fly One hit me when I looked you in the eye I hate this tendency to burn so much And then receive fuel that's so little Every day is another lesson in how to starve my flame. But in the end, I only have myself to blame. For you, sparks are normal I guess I bet it's a mess The only thing I want to do Nothing else but be near you I wish for you who suffers a different flame Everything you want without a blame Let me become ash and be forgotten Before the fuel inside gets rotten While I burn from many things I don't regret knowing what love means

My Best Friend - XIX

Think of Me Too If you want me to listen to you, respect that I can hear. If you want me to speak to you, respect that I have a voice. If you want me to look at you, respect my ability to see. Do you know how to do that? Listen to me when I talk, talk to me when you hear me, and look at me when I look at you. Share with me not only your sadness but also your happiness. If I can bear hours of your sadness, believe me, it's because I would like to see days of your happiness. Depend on me if you respect that I am worthy of your trust. Open your heart to me if you respect that I am worthy of your love.

My Best Friend - XIX

Souls The soul knows, the people it already met. more perfect than the memory of the body, The memory of the soul. Spirit has no words, There is no tongue to say anything, But it stops the body, Someplace close to you. Without saying anything, there is a conversation occurring of my spirit, with your spirit. At the point when our eyes meet, feels like an alternate sort of harmony, It's like somebody has given a sip of liquor in the consuming sun. Indeed, even the distance of nations, Doesn't stop us. I don't remember you so well, Yet, the soul says that the relationship is old because the soul knows the people it has already met

My Best Friend - XIX

All thing begins and ends as stories Little by little Things lose their meanings Or they do not have any to begin with? Just a silly me who fell into traps of illusion & Delusion I just want to live quietly like a closed clam But reality forces open my shells The devils arrive my heart is defending less forget who I was love me as who I am I smile... But I... secretly wish that you catch a glimpse of sadness in my eyes

My Best Friend - XIX

secretly wish that you understand the hidden meaning of my words But I know... You don't... Those words are the access to my soul But you do not understand

My Best Friend - XIX

// If given a chance I wish time can be rewind & My past can be rewritten but at least... in this present where I am trapped in, you exist & I have known you

My Best Friend - XIX

\\ You are dangerous and beautiful much like the sun on Tuesday, it's June, 8:41 Much like roses signify beauty and passionyour love is disastrous like thorns and crashing. Visions of your hands on my chest when you look at me like there's no one else At 8:41, this Tuesday in June you ignore my text that's just what you like to do best, babe Let me explainthat even your disappointing appearance

My Best Friend - XIX

lives rent-free in my brain which is utter incoherence Like maybe I'm blind to understand what comes out at night. And if you think I like you too much think again I want to be your lover and not your fucking friend. The story has already been told so, it's been said and it's all getting old You are going to move on with your life I promise this time I don't want to end with strife.

My Best Friend - XIX

// Isn’t it funny, all these different feelings that come with different days? No matter how far away you seem, No matter how much you hurt me, I will always love you. I don’t need your approval, don’t worry, I’m not going to ask you to come back and love me, Though what we had was magical, and I wish it didn’t end this way. But now it is gone, and all we have is a song, To remind us of how we used to feel, and how real, We were back then. Now you say it’s ended, but it doesn’t feel, Like it has changed, from those good old days, When we held each other like there might not be a tomorrow, When holding one another still felt right. The pain of absence is real, it’s true, But no matter what you say or do, know that I will still love you.

My Best Friend - XIX

// Like a bullet You dug deep into my heart And when you left You tore me apart Only when you were gone Did I realize what happened As you flew away And I was left stranded

My Best Friend - XIX

// I think I want to text you But I don't know What I would say We didn't leave it On the best note But I don't want to be afraid Remember talking after midnight Remember trying to stay awake Remember feeling just a little bit less Alone on the next day

My Best Friend - XIX

Time is a Blanket Time is a blanket of rainbow-hued thread, Laced with a random order, driven by dread; We make its yarn, as we move hand-in-hand, Taking partner new with each passing strand; Time is a blanket of patterns askew, Knit with scenes of all and always anew; And though these paintings, they come and they go, E’er, they line this quilt of time as we know. Time is a blanket of shapes shaping pain, It's with perspective it comes to a great bane; Always is best how we move without sight, Running with passion, but not any light. Oh, time is a blanket, this we know well, It's the part of us with the habit we dwell: Onward we weave a new mural that rhymes, But backwards we look at beautiful times.

My Best Friend - XIX

// If given a chance I wish time can be rewind & My past can be rewritten but at least... in this present where I am trapped in, you exist & I have known you

My Best Friend - XIX

Difference Not all people love things for the same reasons the world has loved them for, Like the flower for its petal Soft, comforting and many other adjectives but you will find people who don't hate the thorns. I'm one of them, I admire different things, love people for their flaws and write things for them even when they don't even love reading. Like falling in love with someone who's almost the exact opposite of me. So, with me, things work like that and not all people love that.

My Best Friend - XIX

// I used to think love Was unconditional and true A snowy white dove Brought deceit, hate and betrayal on debut Kisses over time Went from honey to needles Touching over time Went from joys to evils The tears that were shed We’re only puddles of deception I hurt you I cry for you I bleed for you Love was just a misconception

My Best Friend - XIX

Goodbyes You are far, but feel so close, This feeling is dangerous. You make my day with just a "Hi" And I'm scared of the "Goodbye". Everything hangs by a tread, Feels like all it's in my head. Things are not just as they seem. Wondering if it's a dream. Looking deep into your eyes, Drowning in the paradise; Might be an angel that is lost, Sure, the beautiful most. So innocent and scary, That's the person I want to keep forever; Fills my soul and takes my heart, No one could break us apart.

My Best Friend - XIX

With a blink, the years have passed, Out of all, these were the best; Still looking into your eyes, Knowing now there are no goodbyes

My Best Friend - XIX