04. 22. 10
THESTUDENTWEEKLYSI NCE1 969
The SEX I SSUE I ns i de:Mat i ngr i t ual s ,Dat eNi ght ,andSout hAs i ans .
04.22.10 vol. xli, no. 23 The Indy investigates the steamier side of Harvard. Co-Presidents Patricia Florescu ‘11 and Susan Zhu ‘11
Cover art by PATRICIA FLORESCU
Editor-in-Chief Faith Zhang ‘11 News and Forum Editor Riva Riley ‘12
FORUM Let's (not) Talk About Sex 3 SPECIAL The Sex Survey: Answers 4-7 and Analysis From the Archives 8 ARTS Taking an Outsider's Perspective 9 Date Night 10 A Return to Simpler Times 11
Arts Editor Pelin Kivrak ‘11 Sports Editor Daniel Alfino ‘11 Graphics Editor Sonia Coman ‘11 Associate News and Forum Editor Weike Wang ‘11 Columnists Chris Carothers ‘11 Sam Barr ‘11 Staff Writers John Beatty ‘11 Ezgi Bereketli ‘12 Arhana Chattopadhyay ‘11 Andrew Coffman ‘12 Levi Dudte '11 Sam Jack ‘11 Lester Kim ‘11 Marion Liu ‘11 Hao Meng ‘11 Alfredo Montelongo ‘11 Nick Nehamas ‘11 Steven Rizoli ‘11 Jim Shirey ‘11 Diana Suen ‘11 Alex Thompson ‘11 Sanyee Yuan ‘12 Graphics, Photography, and Design Staff Chaima Bouhlel ‘11 Kayla Escobedo ‘12 Eva Liou ‘11 Rares Pamfil ‘10 Lidiya Petrova ‘11 Kristina Yee ‘10
For exclusive online content, visit www.harvardindependent.com
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As Harvard College's weekly undergraduate newsmagazine, the Harvard Independent provides in-depth, critical coverage of issues and events of interest to the Harvard College community. The Independent has no political affiliation, instead offering diverse commentary on news, arts, sports, and student life. For publication information and general inquiries, contact Presidents Patricia Florescu and Susan Zhu (president@harvardindependent.com). Letters to the Editor and comments regarding the content of the publication should be addressed to Editor-in-Chief Faith Zhang (editor@harvardindependent. com). Yearly mail subscriptions are available for $30, and semester-long subscriptions are available for $15. To purchase a subscription, email subscriptions@harvardindependent.com. The Harvard Independent is published weekly during the academic year, except during vacations, by The Harvard Independent, Inc., P.O. Box 382204, Cambridge, MA 02138-2204. Copyright © 2009 by The Harvard Independent. All rights reserved. 04.22.10 • The Harvard Independent
Forum
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Conversations We Never Had South Asian women and sex. By ARHANA CHATTOPADHYAY
M
I have had most of the seminal moments that characterize those awkward years of growing pains and ugly orthodontia. The period conversation. Shopping for my first bra. Consolations over my first unrequited love — and the second, and the third, and the fourth. The talk about drinking and drugs — even though in high school, I thought that a bong was a musical instrument, and I was more likely to take practice AP tests than take shots in my free time. The one conversation I can’t remember is perhaps the biggest one. The Talk. The Sex Talk. That’s probably because we never had it. After what is arguably the biggest event of fifth grade, the screening of “Your Body and Mine,” like most kids I nervously crumpled the educational pamphlets from the nurse that were meant to stimulate family discussion about sex into the inner recesses of my backpack, hoping never to unearth them again. But while the efforts of my friends to avoid The Talk were in vain (one of their parents even pulled out a condom to show them how it worked), I think that my mom would have pulled out her own teeth before saying the word “sex.” Let me provide some context: when my mother and I rented The Notebook recently, my mom made me close my eyes during the “kissing parts” — and yes, I am 21. My parents actually thought that PDA is a type of small personal computer. And while I hail from the land of the Kama Sutra, I am still suspect that my sister and I are the products of immaculate conception. And I am not alone. Says L, a sophomore South Asian female, “Sex. Well, we never talked about it. But yeah, it was a pretty clear message: don’t do it. Until you are extremely married.” According to a survey of South Asian men and women on campus, 73% agreed that abstinence before marriage was emphasized in their families, y mom and
The Harvard Independent • 04.22.10
and 38% choose to abstain from sex because of this. T, a female senior of Indian heritage, agrees, “My mom and I could basically talk about anything, except for sex. We sort of just avoided the topic. As a result, I was really, really sheltered and naïve about sex.” For me, sheltered and naïve lasted through middle school and high school, but when college rolled around, I was completely at a loss as to how to navigate the sexuallycharged nature of social interactions. Like T, who was completely shocked by her freshman year roommate’s boyfriend sleeping over, I was taught that overt sexuality was somehow impure, and I spent a lot of time going to dances in big groups of girls and avoiding places like final clubs where some of my friends went and, inevitably, “hooked up.” So how do the perceptions of South Asian women change over time? L thinks that a combination of getting into a relationship and talking to friends helped her transition into feeling comfortable with premarital sex. “I took it really slow with my high school boyfriend. But, after discussing stuff with my friends because I couldn’t talk to my mom about it, I just got over it and learned that sex was a normal, healthy part of a relationship. Now I think premarital sex is totally fine.” The survey showed that 54% of women have had premarital sexual intercourse, even though over half these women were taught that abstinence before marriage is crucial. A, a South Asian junior, thinks that several factors go into this statistic. “Some parents are actually more open about it when the issue arises. And I think that as you grow older and leave home, you naturally start to question the ideals you were raised with.” When asked if the same goes for hookups, K, a female Indian junior, thinks that continual exposure to sex desensitizes girls to what is and
is not shocking. “When you come in as a freshman girl, all your other South Asian friends are talking about hooking up like it’s some really taboo thing. My first hookup caused me a lot of guilt and feeling pretty dejected about myself. But then by sophomore or junior year, it’s almost more surprising if you haven’t at least had one random hookup. It’s sort of like no big deal.” Still, 67% of South Asian women believe that they are more conservative — 83% have had two or fewer sexual partners, and 45% say they are highly unlikely to hook up. In addition, to ameliorate the tension between abstinence and sexual freedom, some draw the line at everything except for technical intercourse. A says, “I’m pretty ‘normal’ when it comes to love and sex. I’ve had crushes, and been crushed on. I’ve had the giddy, intoxicating headiness of first love, and the too-tender pangs of heartbreak. I’ve tried to hide hickeys from my mom (and failed, miserably). I’ve been in a fairly serious relationship. I love Cosmo. Far from frigid, I think I’m passionate. I can talk about sex unflinchingly and maturely. But the actual, technical V-card — it’s big. It’s huge. It’s sacred. It’s the last frontier.” It may be no small wonder that South Asian women are more conservative — 64% feel that women alone are judged for premarital sexual relations. K says, “I was taught to stay pure for my husband, and kind of would feel used if I didn’t. And as for South Asian guys, parents sort of look the other way because they are guys.” Z, a South Asian male sophomore, thinks that although women feel that they will be judged, reality is much different. “I’m pretty much okay with my future wife having had sex before — I mean, it would a little weird if she had many more partners than I did, but I wouldn’t really care, I mean, it’s so prevalent in college and beyond. And I feel that sex is
kept hush-hush in the community, blowing it out of proportion when people do hear about a South Asian girl hooking up with a bunch of guys. But only some people really care about it and most are just like, whatever.” He adds that his parents also never talked about sex and were extremely uncomfortable when he broached the topic of sex for the first time, even though he is a guy. G, an Indian med school student, wishes parents were more open about sex so that women could feel empowered to make their own sexual decisions. “I hate the fact that I was raised to be ashamed about sexual desire or about masturbation. I think that it’s great to respect your body, but part of that is respecting your sex drive and need for pleasure without stigma. Parents should be more willing to talk about sex so that girls feel less guilty and can make decisions.” M, a senior, adds that parental acceptance of sex does greatly impact girls’ perceptions. “My South Asian friends with parents who did talk about sex had an easier time sort of dealing with it. I think there are a variety of experiences and a variety of attitudes that different girls have about sex, so it’s important not to generalize.” And sometimes, parents can and do surprise you. Before my first relationship, I thought my parents wanted me to date one person, after college, and marry him. When I started dating my first serious boyfriend in college and eventually brought him home, my parents were…fine with it. And left us completely alone at home, much to my utter amazement. When the relationship ended, my father even said that it was important to date multiple people to make the right decision about your lifelong partner. Go figure. Who knew my parents could be so cool? Arhana Chattopadhyay ’11 (achattop@fas) wonders just how cool her parents might be. editor@harvardindependent.com
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Special
The 2010 INDY SEX SURVEY Welcome to the Indy’s annual Sex Issue, in which we examine all the most titillating details of Harvard’s favorite (if perhaps under-practiced) extracurricular activity. Our survey may have been unscientific, but we hope that the results will be entertaining; we offer for your perusing pleasure a selection of the best of them. Enjoy. Faith Zhang Editor-in-Chief Patricia Florescu and Susan Zhu Co-Presidents
3.677 Average number of sexual partners 2.874 Average number of romantic partners Average size? As reported by girls: 6.52 inches. As reported by guys: 6.48 inches. Most sex?
Dunster once again has sex more frequently than any other House, followed by Lowell.
Least sex?
Our poor friends at Eliot House, followed by Adams.
Who fakes it?
Dunster and Mather fake it the most, so next time you party here and do the walk of shame, just know that the walk is that much more shameful... Winthrop’s the most genuine, followed by Quincy.
Most sexual partners in a day? The person who’s had sex with the largest number of partners in a day — a
whopping nine — resides in the freshman yards.
Other treats?
Most people are not cool with sexting but prefer it over phone sex or cyber sex. Dirty talk is highly encouraged.
The boundaries of biology
is on their period.
About half of both guys and girls are cool with having sex while they or their partner
23x3 Guys slightly prefer oral one at a time and girls definitely want it one at a time — only 20% of girls prefer 69ing, compared to 42% of boys. Favorite form of birth control
The favorite form of birth control is the condom, and most people even protect themselves twice over with the addition of birth control pills. You stay safe, Harvard.
By yourself or by someone else? Girls: 50/50 getting off by themselves vs by someone else. Boys: 40/60
getting off by themselves vs by someone else
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04.22.10 • The Harvard Independent
Special Top Five Profs You’d Do: 1. David Malan 2. Matthew Lieberman 3. Andrew Berry 4. Matthew Kaiser 5. Judith Chapman
Other Profs You’d Do: Alan Saghatelian Ed Glaeser. BDSM. Ana Yanez Drew Faust Ted Betley Robert Lue Lisa Randall Steven Levitsky Tamsin Jones David Charbonneau Gita Gopinath Ryan Spoering Gordon Teskey Beth Simmons Jeannie Suk Pardis Sabeti Carole Hooven Robert Lue David Elmer Diana Eck Briana Burton Jacqueline Bhabha Sean Gallagher Francesca Schironi Luke Taylor Any professor, if it got me an A. Suzanne Walker Logan McCarty Michael Mitzenmacher Jason Stevens Hallam Stevens Samantha Power Bernhard Nickel Jesse Snedeker Matthew Liebmann Olaf Post Niall Ferguson Richard Wrangham – ‘Cause you and me baby ain’t nothing but mammals Zack Sifuentes Maria Tatar Jason Mitchell Adam Cohen Nicholas Christakis Leonard Wood Jacob Lurie Janet Browne Linda Ellison Xiaowei Zhuang Carlo Cerruti Alexander Rehding Dan Kahne Cristina Shultze Michael Hiscox Huang Laoshi Amanda Lobell Anya Bernstein Robin Bernstein Linda Ellison John Stauffer Amitabh Chandra N. Gregory Mankiw Elisa New Andrew Witkin Sven Beckert Raphael Koenig Kevin Birmingham The Harvard Independent • 04.22.10
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Coren Apicella Bruce Western Daniel Gilbert Dana Lindaman Dee Leopold Christine Hooker Zhao Congmin Tim French Nathaniel Nunn Alison Frank Skip Gates David Liu Andrew Nevins Ann Blair Stephen Blyth Joanna Klink Glenda Carpio Kevin Eggan Kevin Lewis David Smith Suzannah Clark Olaf Post
I’d peg Leland de la Durantaye John McMillian Steven Pinker Michael Sandel Jason Beckfield John Thornton Kirkland Based on the human impact of their research Florian Engert Carole Hooven Carlos Diaz Jean-Philippe Belleau Bill Kirby Kryzystof Gajos None...but I’ve been looking. Anyone but Mankiw Jason Stevens
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Special DID YOU KNOW… The vibrator was created in the nineteenth century as a medication to combat the anxiety-related symptoms of “hysteria” (aka menstruation) At Bard College, a student started Boobs@Bard and Bard Cocks, two photoblogs where Bard students post nude pictures of their boobs and cocks. The average size of an erect penis is between 5 and 6 inches (the average size of a flaccid penis is about 3.5 inches) Cosmopolitan magazine reported that the age at which men stop telling all their buddies about their sex life is 27. That sounds … extremely late. Approximately 1% of people worldwide identify as asexual (having no strong sexual attraction to either sex
Bonobos are the only other animal who have sex in a position that allows them to see each other face-to-face. During 30 minutes of active sex, the average person burns approximately 200 calories. Nearly one in four Americans (65 million people) are currently living with an incurable sexually transmitted disease via facts.randomhistory.com, the “sexy issue” of Cosmopolitan magazine, Psych 15, and high school friends
WHO SAID… Answers may be used more than once. You can check results on the following page. 1. Sex without love is a meaningless experience, but as far as meaningless experiences go it’s pretty damn good. 2. Whoever called it necking was a poor judge of anatomy. 3. Sex is a bad thing because it 6
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rumples the clothes. 4. Remember, sex is like a Chinese dinner. It ain’t over til you both get your cookie. 5. “Don’t knock masturbation - it’s sex with someone I love. 6. It isn’t premarital sex if you have no intention of getting married. 7. Why should we take advice on sex from the pope? If he knows anything about it, he shouldn’t! 8. Don’t have sex man. It leads to kissing and pretty soon you have to start talking to them. 9. An orgasm a day keeps the doctor away 10. There’s nothing better than good sex. But bad sex? A peanut butter and jelly sandwich is better than bad sex. A. Alec Baldwin B. Woody Allen C. Steve Martin D. Billy Joel E. Mae West F. Groucho Marx G. Jaqueline Kennedy Onassis H. Drew Carey I. George Bernard Shaw 04.22.10 • The Harvard Independent
Special Worst Sex Experience
Funny Story?
He came in my eye! He claims it was by accident.
The fact that he thinks he can get off and not get me off! Now that pisses me off! No. You can NOT jack off your small penis and then fall asleep. Blue balls hurt!
My girlfriend was bouncing up and down on top of me (reverse cowgirl), and bounced a bit too high. My dick came out and she landed squarely on top of it ó it hurt like none other. She was ready to GO after a long night out. I obliged... but fell asleep while she was giving me head. Needless to say, she wasn’t too pleased. Waking up the next morning after fucking a chick I met in the Delphic basement. Poor life decision. I was getting a blowjob and my partner threw up on my member. I’m not lying. I was with a girl who couldn’t make up her mind on whether she wanted sex or not, so I just left. This guy was so sweaty I thought he came on my feet but it turns out it was just massive mounts of sweat dripping from his face. Guy had a pencil dick. It was awful. He had no idea what he was doing and I was hooking up with him to get back at someone else so I wasn’t into it at all.
Favorite Sexual Fantasy Under the footbridge by Leverett House. Doing homework and getting a blowjob at the same time...the epitome of Harvard multi-tasking Two sword-wielding chicks fight to the death in the Colosseum. Winner gives me a blowjob. Then I release the lions. Actually having sex at Harvard. Widener. Crazy sex in the stacks, preferably some where funnily apropos, like against the vintage Playboy collection (it exists! I have been there!) or medieval religious texts a la Abelard and Heloise. Though I promise no uncle-motivated castration afterwards. Coming home from a formal, being swept off my feet and done against the door, still in dress and heels. No bestiality, but I would seriously like to take down a great white shark, and like fuck it. In its home turf. Seriously, how badass would that be? I think this would constitute the prototype of human dominance of nature.
First college hookup was on Halloween. Walked home on Sunday, Parentsí Weekend morning in a Betty Flintstone costume...from the Quad. One time while I was masturbating to internet porn, I came on my keyboard, including the mousepad. The problem is, instead of wiping it off immediately, I passed out from the usual masturbatory joy and exhaustion. When I woke up, the cum had completely dried up, and when I tried to scrape it off with a coin, I ended my mouse pad ended up getting permanent scratch marks. I get selfconscious now when I feel like people are looking at my mousepad.
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The dryers! Unfortunately, Harvard’s dryers are often double stacked, making it impossible, but sex on dryers is awesome (try it, I swear, the vibrations help) and outdoors (but not on a beach ó sand in vag = bad plan) The roof of Mather Tower. On John Harvard’s lap. Haven’t done it, but I wouldn’t want to be the guy touching the foot for good luck in the morning if I ever decide to try. Pusey
Spandex/crew team party. Purple spandex pants, lime green spandex top, neon orange headband. Sunday morning. 10 am. Big church rush. Big asian tour. Epic fail. The time my boyfriend thought it would be exciting to attach balloons to nipple clamps to my breasts ó enough said.
First Time Epic fail. Uneventful. It wasn’t painful, it was just weird. Like flushing a toilet. I was drunk I don’t remember On a 90 foot yacht anchored off one of Puerto Rico’s offshore islands. It was hot. He took me to his room. Kissed me, laid me on the bed and we fucked. The he ordered me out of the room. Unfortunate.
ANSWERS to the quiz 1. B 2. F 3. G 4. A 5. B 6. H 7. I 8. C 9. E 10. D “Sex is like snow, you never know how many inches you’re going to get or how long it will last”
My first time is like meeting a Yalie without a chip on the shoulder. It hasn’t happened.
Favorite/Unusual Place to Have Sex JCRs I’ve had sex on a tennis court... which is probably the weirdest place I’ve had sex in general. Weirdest place I’ve had sex on campus would probably been in the Canaday basement common room. Lowell basement bathroom Winthrop’s pool table
The Harvard Independent • 04.22.10
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04.22.10 • The Harvard Independent
Arts
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A Unique M a ting Ritu al The habits of a bizarre primate.
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By RIVA RILEY
I would like to detail a bizarre phenomenon that I myself have many times witnessed and been assured of its prevalence and importance for young individuals of certain populations of the human species. The human species is known for a great many idiosyncrasies, not least of which is the use of strange symbols to communicate with conspecifics, but even so, the ritual to which I am referring is a particularly peculiar addition to the otherwise merely strange habits of this bizarre primate. I will attempt here to describe it and speculate as best I can on the function of the various elements involved, but I wish you to remember that what I’m about to describe can only truly be understood by direct observation, an activity I do not wish on anyone. The setting is singular for its freakish, almost hellish atmosphere. It is known as a “formal,” or more casually, a “dance,” and it is in a dark, noisy lair that this mass mating exhibit takes place away from eyes of the human elders. The setting, though garish, only hints at the fundamental strangeness of the ritual. Heart-rattling music blasts through speakers, and the room is dark except for intermittent flashing of strobe and spotlights. Once one is acclimated to the sensory disorientation, however, the young individuals materialize out of the gloom, and their strange behavior makes the setting seem unextraordinary. First, I will describe their attire. The young males wear fancy suits or tuxedos, while the females don colorful dresses or gowns. It seems that this opulence is meant as a display of resources, as both sexes tend to wear jewelry and the males often sport outfits made of expensive fabrics and bring symbolic bouquets of costly flowers to the female. By advertising their resources, each individual attempts to prove his or her superiority in mate choice and ability to contribute to offspring rearing and maintenance of mate and young; I also feel that the act of bequeathing a plant’s reproductive organs, the flowers, to the female is a way of showing the male’s readiness and willingness to mate. The females t is here that
The Harvard Independent • 04.22.10
accomplish this by wearing lowcut garments that advertise the size of their mammary glands to show their fitness in infant care. Furthermore, the females also wear unusual shoes that take the form of an extension to the heel. These shoes are highly uncomfortable and often cause pain; the females likely wear them to demonstrate their ability to withstand the pain of childbirth. After the ritual begins, the
Courtesy of Wikimedia Commons
males exhibit primarily through an apparently unusual but actually standardized set of behaviors in establishing a mating pair and preventing other males from making advances. Often individuals enter the mating ritual already in a mating pair, and males assert their claim on the female by very possessive and suggestive dancing motions. This often takes the form of upright movements simulating
copulation, which seems to serve a dual purpose for both the male and female. Paradoxically, these movements help establish the permanence (this being a relative term, in this case, as mating pairs rarely stay together long enough to produce and care for young after this ritual) of the mating pair and display the relation to others; however, these movements also seem to advertise their reproductive fitness and perhaps reveal sexual prowess to other individuals. These actions would be highly distasteful to the human elders, and if the elders (the participants’ parents, primarily) were aware of this behavior, they would certainly disapprove and might use withholding of resources to control the young ones’ behavior and suggest different mate selections. It is for this reason that the sole attendants at these rituals are young individuals who have recently entered reproductive age. In this way, the young individuals can display a much greater freedom of choice in mate selection, without the influence of their progenitors. The effect this has on population dynamics is uncertain, but it certainly changes the way sexual selection functions in this primate. The rigidly defined artificial selection regime that has been occurring in human populations around Earth for hundreds of years seems to be coming to a gradual end, and young humans are using new rituals, including the one I have described here, to overturn this practice and return to a more primitive, but perhaps more advantageous, mode of mate selection. While I mean only to provide scientific observation, I will venture the comment that returning to sexual selection may not be harmful to the human species; however, this bizarre ritual might prove detrimental. I foresee that a more beneficial alternative may arise in the near future, or at least a gentler version of this ritual that does not require such a high level of intoxication to successfully complete. Riva Riley ‘12 (rjriley@fas) is not a huge fan of formals, but can at least find them entertaining. editor@harvardindependent.com
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Arts
The Magic Is Gone T
T ina F ey and Steve Carell was bound to happen. They are Liz Lemon and Michael Scott. They are grounded, modest-looking people who just happen to tickle audiences silly. Starring the two of them as Phil and Claire Foster, Date Night is a successful movie. It delivers as many laughs as it advertises, and it is exactly what we have come to expect from both Fey and Carell: a funnier version of the average in all of us. The Fosters are an affectionate nuclear family living in suburbia, New Jersey. Phil and Claire have two children, both bouncy balls of inexhaustible energy, and they love one another; we know they do from the quick pecks on the cheek, the sporadic picking off of lint. Phil and Claire are comfortable, content, but not completely happy because they’ve lost much of their former zest (and their libidos) to domestic routine. On weekly date nights, they reprimand snogging couples with feigned disgust. “This is a family place.” “How inappropriate… tasteless really.” But in truth, they want their zest back. Date Night takes place over the twelve hours of a single date. On this particular night, Phil takes Claire into the city to dine at the five-star seafood restaurant Claw. They don’t make a reservation because they feel that getting there at 6:30pm on a Friday night is “all right.” Much to their surprise, Claw is full till the end of next month. So while squirming in the plush seats of the restaurant’s bar, feeling out of place in this crowd of nonchalant youngsters, a disgruntled Phil does something bold — he steals the unclaimed reservation of the Tripplehorns. “Tonight is going to be different,” he says. The Tripplehorns turn out to be liars and thieves. They are actually the Feltons (James Franco and Mila Kunis) who have recently filched a flash drive of sensitive material from mobster boss, Joe Milletto (Ray Liotto). Two mob-employed 10
he marriage of
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cops are now in hot pursuit of the Tripplehorns, aka the Feltons, aka the Fosters. After a series of misunderstandings and mishaps, the Fosters find themselves dodging bullets, blazing through traffic lights and pole dancing to robotic sex. In the midst of the hubbub, brief calms come in the form of a shirtless security guru, Holbrooke (Mark Walberg). Holbrooke lives in a fancy pad with instruments that seem like they ought to belong to the CIA and an exotic lady friend; he helps the Fosters now and then, scouts information for them, and lends them a sports car, a pistol, and a full view of his pecs. Perhaps the most useless character in the
Date Night is good — but not great. By WEIKE WANG
film, Holbrooke really is a caricature between Bond and Bourne and he really never puts on a shirt. The plot, I like: engaging but not so complicated that we can’t differentiate good guys from bad guys and not so pedantic that we forget the basic function of the film, which is entertainment. Some moments do seem less than believable, like when Claire punches through glass or when Phil times a helicopter appearance to the second — but they work because we want them to work. We want the Fosters to win, though not in the same way that we want Mr. and Mrs. Smith to win; unlike the Smiths, the Fosters are just average people inadvertently mired
Now in Theatres
in a non-average situation. They’re not trying to prove themselves or save the world; they’re just trying to reclaim their zest for life, and when that innocent request somehow unfurls into an affair with guns blazing, the Fosters do deserve our sympathy. When it comes to humor, the movie neither disappoints or impresses. True, it could have been funnier. If Fey and Carell had contributed their writing chops to the screenplay, it would have been funnier. But both comics make do. Fey is best in her fumbling moments, and Carell is quite good at imitating voices. Had there not been a script at all — had Fey and Carell just improvised — it would have also been funnier. When final credits roll and a blooper reel starts, impromptu Fey-Carell originals follow one after the other, most of which are fresher than those in the film. There can be no doubt that both actors know how to be funny without exaggerated expressions, flamboyant stunts, and over-the-top innuendo. They can make us laugh with a smirk, a raise of the brows, a mere pause, and Date Night allows them to do so; but thrown into that subtle humor are also desperate attempts to be funny — an overdone car chase, maniacal escape ploys, and repetitive oneliners about Holbrooke’s sex appeal (again, why is Holbrooke in this movie?). Laughs aside, the movie is about trust. It’s about Claire trusting her husband and Phil pulling through for his wife. You can probably predict how the story ends, but to get there, they do a fair bit of arguing — “What are we gonna do? What are you gonna do?” “Shut up honey!” and a fair bit of reflecting — “How did we get like this?” “Who were you back there?” But there is nothing too existential because a good screwball comedy keeps situations light and real danger at bay, and Date Night does just that. Weike Wang'11 (wwang@fas) can think of better ways to spend a date. 04.22.10 • The Harvard Independent
Arts
Pause Before You Play
B
reathing heavily as small beads of sweat
dotted my brow, I gripped the bottom of my light pink cotton t-shirt. In one fluid motion, I slipped it over my chest, arms, and head, throwing it down onto the ground. Lightly brushing my forehead with the back of one hand, I reached out with my other hand and turned up the volume on the television screen attached to the elliptical that had caused me to work up such an intense sweat. It was a couple of minutes past 7:00 AM, and I had gotten up early to start my exercise regiment in order to catch snippets of Good Morning America at the gym. Bristol Palin, daughter of former vicepresidential candidate Sarah Palin and well-known teen mother, was the special guest. Appearing at the studio to speak about her involvement with the Candie’s Foundation teen pregnancy prevention campaign, Bristol talked about how she was lucky enough to have a supportive family, compared to the many pregnant teenagers who lack a crucial support network. Emphasizing the importance of thinking before having sex for teens, she spoke about how the campaign could be interpreted as advocating abstinence or protected sex. The slogan of her campaign resonated with me — and I strongly think that teenagers and college students today should approach their sex lives with the same philosophy: “Pause before you play.” That’s right. Pause before you play. Teenagers, young adults — whatever you would call the 13-19 age range — act too quickly. We live in the moment, worry about the present, and like to have fun in the here and now. It’s the generation of carpe diem, baby, and if you don’t get your dose of instant gratification, you’re never going to get another shot, or so it seems. And that’s the case with sex. The mentality regarding sex among teenagers varies, ranging from “it’s embarrassing to be a virgin” to “it looks like everyone else is hooking up.” For myself, I have no problem publicly announcing that I do not believe in sex before marriage. I think that random hookups and promiscuous sexcapades leave emotions in flux, and result in miscommunication and hurt feelings on all sides. Sex should not be taken lightly. Excuse me for sounding prudish or conservative — but I miss the good old-fashioned times in America when boys would partake in the rituals of courtship: asking to walk a girl home, offering to carry her books, writing her letters when he thought about her, inviting her to go dancing together, and honoring his promise to his father that he would have her home by midnight. Okay, and I realize that I just juxtaposed images from the Puritan ages, life on the prairie, and times that hearken back to drive-through movies and milkshakes all in one statement. But, my point is, sex before marriage causes confusion in courtship intentions. Girls today are more prone to wonder, “Is he just being nice because he wants to get in my pants?” whereas girls in the more innocent times of America knew that a guy wanted to go out with her because he genuinely wanted to get to know her better. Where does the distinction come from? The Harvard Independent • 04.22.10
indy
Advocating abstinence. By SANYEE YUAN
The thought of marriage. The courtship process existed so that guys could find their potential wives — and they would patiently wait out the different obstacles that stood in the way of being together. They paused before they played. Waiting to have sex after marriage enables couples to realize the extent to which their attraction stems from their emotional bond and whether they really are each other’s soulmates and best friends. They realize that they like the other person’s personality — loving their ability to listen and offer a comforting shoulder during a difficult time rather than the sex positions that they can perform in the bedroom. They get a chance to gauge how well they truly fit as a couple. And I know that people are having sex. That’s the way teenagers and college students are behaving right now. Movies, television shows — including one of my favorites, The Secret Life of the American Teenager — highlight the undeniable fact that teenagers are, well, doing it. They think about sex, they talk about sex, and they have sex. I can’t change it and I know that I shouldn’t judge what
other people choose to do with their lives. But I can advise people, just as Bristol Palin is attempting to advise teenagers. Like Bristol, I think that we should all pause before we jump into any hasty situations. We should pause and think about our values. Pause and evaluate our relationships with the people in our lives. Pause and reflect on what marriage truly means to us. Pause and examine the connection between having sex and being in love with someone. Pause and consider what it is about old movies that make us cry — the sweet courtship rituals, the chivalrous gentleman, the couple waiting together for true love to conquer all. Pause and realize that college is a time for fun, but that it is also a time for responsibility. Pause and know that we cannot take back our actions and must always live with the consequences. Pause and really, really think about the future. So, I’ll take a moment and let you pause. Sanyee Yuan ’12 (syuan@fas) yearns for a simpler time.
editor@harvardindependent.com
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captured & shot
By ALEKSANDRA STANKIEWICZ