Musing Mum

TO MY MUM-MATES

Charlotte Archibald discusses the inevitable bond that develops when you’re in the trenches together as new mums

It seems crazy that a group of women you’ve only known for a few months can be the people you end up confiding in and exposing your rawest emotions to.

As we approach International Women’s Day 2020, I’ve been thinking a lot about the power of female friendships, and how thankful I am for my mum-mates.

As a new mum, it can be a terrifying prospect to leave the house with a newborn. In my case, I wouldn’t even open the curtains for the first three days. The outside world seemed like a terrifying place.

It wasn’t until I saw how worried my family were about me that I finally took the plunge and ventured out into the big bad world,

Mum-mates just get it. They’re going through it too, and they’re just as scared and lost as you are. There is no greater feeling as a new mum than to be able to come to the realisation that you aren’t alone. “

more specifically, to a local breastfeeding clinic. I looked and felt like a zombie. But the moment I opened the door, a wave of relief hit me. We all look like crap! Hurray! We’re all terrified out of our wits! Woohoo! We’re all intermittently laughing and crying! Bring it on! A few cups of tea in, and I felt more like my old self than I had in weeks. Maybe it’s an extension of the maternal instinct but they all went out of their way to make me feel human again. Mum-mates just get it. They’re going through it too, and they’re just as scared and lost as you are. There is no greater feeling as a new mum than to be able to come to the realisation that you aren’t alone. From that day on, my mum-mates and I saw each other nearly every day of maternity leave. We have laughed together, we have cried together, we have talked about our ‘battle-scars’ and birthing horror-stories and after a few months of getting used to being mums we finally solidified our friendship by getting drunk together too! These women are warriors. I adore them. Having known them through our first, second and for some of us, third pregnancies, they still manage to inspire me every day. They juggle jobs, babies, older children, sleep deprivation, chronic illnesses, marriages, separation – all with such strength and determination. They are a constant source of comfort and support to me and I honestly wouldn’t have made it through early-years parenting without them. I would urge anyone who’s a new mum to take that daunting first step outside and visit a local mother and toddler session / clinic / baby class. Odds-on however scared and rubbish you’re feeling, someone near you is feeling exactly the same way. And for those about to have a baby, make sure you join at least one pre-natal class. I was able to meet a group of women that I love so dearly, I will forever be in their debt for the support and love they have shown me, and trite as it might sound, I know we’ll be friends forever.

Charlotte is hosting an event at Academy to fundraise for Welsh Women’s Aid on Sunday 8th March, International Women’s Day. Get your tickets here.