5 minute read
Bulletin Board
Coffee, Cups, & Happiness
A group of alumni, highly established in their careers, got together to visit an old university professor. Conversation soon turned into complaints about stress in work and life.
Offering his guests coffee, the professor went to the kitchen and returned with a large pot of coffee and an assortment of cups—porcelain, plastic, glass, crystal, some plain looking, some expensive, some exquisite. He told them to help themselves to the brew.
When all had a cup in hand, the professor said: “If you noticed, all the nice looking, expensive cups have been taken, leaving behind the plain, cheap ones. While it’s normal for you to want only the best for yourselves, I suggest this is the source of your problems and stress.”
He continued: “Be assured that the cup itself adds no quality to the coffee. In most cases it’s just more expensive and even hides what we drink. What all of you really wanted was coffee, not the cup, but you consciously went for the best cups and then you began eyeing each other’s cups.
“Life is the coffee. The jobs, money and position in society are the cups. They’re just tools to hold and contain life. The type of cup we have does not define, or change the quality of life we live. Sometimes, by concentrating only on the cup, we fail to enjoy the coffee. Savor the coffee, not the cups.
“The happiest people don’t have the best of everything. They just make the best of everything.” The Equestrian Pastor
Knowing that their pastor had a budding interest in horses and dreamed of becoming an avid equestrian, the deacons of the church decided to surprise the pastor with a handsome stallion.
A trainer was hired to give the pastor some elementary lessons. “This is a Christian horse,” he said. “If you want him to move, you must say, ‘Praise the Lord!’” The Pastor did as he was told, and the horse started off on a leisurely walk. However, he soon found that the horse would not stop. “He won’t answer to whoa,” said the trainer. “To get him to stop, simply say Amen.”
After several lessons, the trainer agreed to let the pastor ride the horse on some remote trails. All went well until the horse was startled by a rattlesnake and panicked, bolting away. The pastor yelled “whoa” but the horse only ran faster. In vain, he tried one word after another. Finally, he remembered the correct command and screamed “AMEN” just as the horse skidded to the edge of a cliff.
Thrilled and relieved, the pastor raised his hands to the sky and shouted, “PRAISE THE LORD!” Benjamin Franklin: Enduring Proverbs l Be at war with your vices, at peace with your neighbors, and let every New Year find you a better man. l Diligence is the mother of good luck. l Love your enemies, for they tell you your faults. l He that would live in peace, and at ease, must not speak all he knows or judge all he sees. l Great beauty, great strength, and great riches are really and truly of no great use; a right heart exceeds all. l He that falls in love with himself will have no rivals. l The sting of a reproach is the truth of it. l Reading makes a full man, meditation a profound man, discourse a clear man. Many Americans Feel l Beware of little expenses: A small leak will sink a great ship. Like Andy Is Out l Hide not your talents, they for use were made: What’s a sun-dial in the shade? Of Town And Barney l Do you love life? Then do not squander time, for that is the stuff life is made of. Is In Charge. l Glass, china, and reputation are easily cracked, and never well mended. l He that lies down with dogs, shall rise up with fleas. l Well done is better than well said. l Genius without education is like silver in the mine. l If man could have half his wishes, he would double his troubles. l The poor have little, beggars none, the rich too much, enough not one. l Don’t throw stones at your neighbors, if your own windows are glass. l A true friend is the best possession. l Wish not so much to live long as to live well. The Cynical Philosopher Today a man knocked on my door and asked for a small donation towards the local swimming pool. I gave him a glass of water. I find it ironic that the colors red, white, and blue stand for freedom until they are flashing behind you. When wearing a bikini, women reveal 90% of their body. Men are so polite they only look at the In My Mind I Am Still 29, covered parts. A recent study has found that women who carry a little extra weight live longer than the men who But My Back is 54, mention it. Relationships are a lot like algebra. Have you My Knees Are 63, And My Hips Are 78! ever looked at your X and wondered Y? America is a country that produces citizens who will cross the ocean to fight for democracy but won’t cross the street to vote. You know that tingly little feeling you get when you like someone? That’s your common sense leaving your body. Did you know that dolphins are so smart that within a few weeks of captivity, they can train people to stand on the very edge of the pool and throw them fish? My therapist says I have a preoccupation with vengeance. We’ll see about that. I think my neighbor is stalking me as she’s been googling my name on her computer. I saw it through my telescope last night. Money talks, but all mine ever says is good-bye. You’re not fat, you’re just easier to see. If you think nobody cares whether you’re alive, try missing a couple of payments. I always wondered what the job application is like at Hooters. Do they just give you a bra and say, “Here, fill this out?” My therapist said that my narcissism causes me to misread social situations. I’m pretty sure she was hitting on me. The pharmacist asked me my birth date again today. I’m pretty sure she’s going to get me something. The location of your mailbox shows you how far away from your house you can be in a robe before you start looking like a mental patient. Never Be A Prisoner Of Your Past. It Was Money can’t buy happiness but it keeps the kids in touch! The reason Mayberry was so peaceful and quiet Just A Lesson, Not A was because nobody was married. Andy, Aunt Bea, Barney, Floyd, Howard, Goober, Gomer, Sam, Life Sentence. Earnest T. Bass, Helen, Thelma Lou, Clara and, of course, Opie were all single. The only married person was Otis, and he stayed drunk.